BS: stay afloat while others don't

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jul 22 - 08:33 PM

Helen, whomever you ask I bet they will express a deep forboding as if a catclysmic event is expected. Even the news that the great sequoia forest is under the threat of an impending wildfire seems incidental.
We missed an asteroid collision by 2 million miles this weekend. Whatever is coming feels big even if the incremental change is small like the one more gram that achieves critical mass.

On the bright side 'these are the good ol days'.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 10 Jul 22 - 07:21 PM

Hubby & I drove 3.5 hours up the coast a couple of weeks ago to see his Mother in a retirement village, although now she is in the nursing home section. We could only visit her for an hour. I haven't seen her since COVID began because there was a limit of one visitor and she was a lot more "with it" the last time I saw her. She was also walking around using her walking frame last time. This time she was immobilised in a large movable chair which the nurses operated.

So a total of seven hours driving there and back and an overnight stay at a hotel and she doesn't even remember that we were there. She has now been diagnosed with COVID but she would be up to date on her vaccinations so hopefully it won't be a severe case.

It makes me want to ask, "why is the news so wearying right now?"

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Jul 22 - 05:15 PM

In continuing developments at my small residence at the clinic:
remember the housemate with full-blown COVID-19?

She was approved to move off-campus, to an apartment two towns over,
once she was clearly testing negative for the coronavirus.
So her room has been deep-cleaned and sanitized, and stands empty.
There is nobody on the waiting list at this point.

Although, one patient still at the big main residence had expressed
an interest in moving to this smaller residence.
Unfortunately SHE came down with full-blown COVID-19
and had to isolate in her room where there is nursing to take care of her.
She's out of isolation now.
Obviously this delayed everything for her, I don't know what she will do next.

I'm hanging in there.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Jul 22 - 01:16 AM

oooh, that one link had
quokkas on the page.

How can anybody resist a quokka?

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 09 Jul 22 - 11:37 PM

Drop Bear


Drop Bear

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 08 Jul 22 - 06:28 PM

No, the ones you really need to worry about are the drop bears.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Jul 22 - 06:08 PM

Ah, Helen, but the rumo[u]rs about BUNYIPS have made it into literature.

Update from my 6 June post.
The new medical receptionist,
who threw one of my housemates into an utter tailspin,
has resigned.

Here's hoping the next one has better manners and expertise and all.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 08 Jul 22 - 01:27 AM

I'm glad you have found some equilibrium, a sense of balance.

Bears? And people say Australia is dangerous!! LOL At least our dangerous species are little.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Jul 22 - 12:53 AM

About the program manager, I'm a little sheepish and embarrassed here.
See, I have always got on well enough, one on one, with the program manager.
I could not help but notice, is all, how differently the entire household behaves together during the program manager's absence.
I don't know what will come of the nurse reporting to the supervisor.

In the meantime, the program manager is back,
and I had my individual check-in with the person.
They know they are challenging in some ways -- some self-awareness there -- and they suggest that all of us speak openly about it.
Some of my housemates don't want to go there.
Since I am actually sort of entertained by the program manager personally,
I can tolerate a fair amount of the idiosyncracies.
And probably will go on doing so.
Honestly, I can do without the negotiating in this case.

THe other thing is that
it helped me so much more,
to speak with someone like the wonderful nurse I spoke with;
I felt ever so much better afterwards,
and found that by the time I saw the program manager again,
I had processed enough emotion that I wasn't upset any more.

I guess I sound like a real wuss.
My distress was real at the time.
What I believe I ought to do, is stay in the present moment,
not forget the past to be sure, but stay focused in the present.

Change of subject:
tonight I walked my bedroom trash, safely bagged, outside the house to the garbage cans, to put the trash out.
It was nice and quiet out there as it ought to be.
It's just that I could not avoid noticing how
the garbage can lid had been gnawed on,
and around the edges had been gnawed through,
by teeth ... really BIG teeth.
And I was reminded of the bears that raid dumpsters and garbage cans around here.
There's something about seeing a chewed-on garbage can lid
that brings it right home to you.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 03 Jul 22 - 08:39 PM

keberoxu, I'm a firm believer in calling out bad behaviour. We can keep quiet about it, endure it, and hope we make it through unscathed to the other end or we can be proactive and tell someone we trust and hopefully find a workable solution.

Stand by what you think is appropriate, and by that I mean, don't get pushed past the limit you are prepared to go in solving the problem but, as I said to a couple of ex-colleagues who were standing their ground against a workplace bully, "keep your eye on the prize" and don't lose sight of the goal to be achieved.

For that to work, you need to be sure of what that goal is for you. If, for example, it is a better and safer residential environment for you, then keep that goal in mind while others around you are trying to work on the issues. You need to be comfortable with the outcome and be alert to the possibility of being railroaded into something you could regret afterwards. I suppose I'm referring to setting boundaries, with the person you are not happy with and also with anyone who wants to take up the cause for and/or with you.

(Sorry, I was a Union representative for most of my working life. I'm used to standing up for people and especially helping others to stand up for themselves and achieving the desired outcomes, hopefully win-win outcomes for everyone, as far as possible.)

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Jul 22 - 08:17 PM

If that were not enough:

the program manager for the small select on-campus residence
to which I have 'stepped down' my treatment plan,
has caused so much distress in the household
that I went to the nurses' station for emergency services one day,
just to pour my heart out to somebody whom I trusted.

And when I had got it all off my chest,
the nurse said that
what I had disclosed is so important that
she has to speak to her supervisor.

I've done it now!

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jul 22 - 03:52 PM

How dare they retire when we need them!

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Jun 22 - 09:20 PM

Well I was unhappy about the development from the previous post,
with my attorney sending me notice of her imminent retirement.

Today I am calmer about the whole thing.
In fact, I think the soundest thing for me to do in response
is to look at this turn of events
as an opportunity instead of a setback.

Then again, it might be down to
the change in my prescription meds . . .

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Jun 22 - 08:06 PM

Today was a day of deep depression.
Did I tell you that my attorney is retiring in less than fourteen days? Well, she is. The retirement letter was e-mailed to me by her office today, same as to all of her outgoing clients.
I hope I get out of this half-alive.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Jun 22 - 10:55 AM

Indeed.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Jun 22 - 09:26 PM

Our housemate went for another COVID-19 test today . . .
they were talking about how it's been thirty days since ...?
I sort of lost it there.
There's the possibility that although she is much healthier now,
this particular test may still come out positive because
this test is sensitive to that virus at really minute levels.
I'm an ignoramus, I'm sorry -- people who know what they are talking about
know what this means, and I'm still in the dark.

Here at the clinic, members of the staff, worryingly, continue to
come down with COVID-19 and have to stop working and isolate and get treated and all. The patients are doing better at staying clear at the moment.
And this particular county, where the infection rate had shot up with the beginning of warmer weather,
has now stabilized and no longer is colored red on that online map.

Last evening in my e-mails I received an update from my attorney.
I need to ask for a distribution of funds,
and the trustee is responding to my attorney's demands and requests ...
very strangely indeed.
My attorney is frustrated, I'm disgusted, I don't know what to make of the trust company.
We wanted specific facts and figures.
So the trust company electronically DUMPED accounting statements that amount, my attorney says, to thousands of pages.
As though to say,
You do the arithmetic yourselves if you want to know.

I'm trying not to respond with the first impulse that comes to mind.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Jun 22 - 05:36 PM

Um, it is worse. Ask if you want details.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 10 Jun 22 - 05:13 PM

He recovered and is currently a 4th in one of my weekly mah jongg games!

There was also an assault, apparently, with the arrest. I am hoping this gets him into a hospital...

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 09 Jun 22 - 08:40 PM

Mrrzy, this is old news, but I'll ask anyhow:

what became of the young man who used to be your son's housemate?

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Jun 22 - 08:00 PM

Ok I have news: my mentally ill homelesss kid is in jail. Arrested on the 5th for lewd in public under some emergency protective thing (I am unclear)... It looks like he peed ON the jail, or something, from the arrest report I saw online.

This is likely to be good news.

I will update when I know more.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Jun 22 - 10:06 AM

Unfun, indeed.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Jun 22 - 06:51 PM

In a conversation today with staff who facilitate the group-therapy work and attend to resident patients in general,
it came up that since my admission here --
which coincided with the pandemic lockdown for the coronavirus --
the medical office at the clinic,
that's the office that is NOT psychiatric but that provides medical care of other sorts for patients,
has been through a turnover.
By this I don't mean those physicians who give us patients physical exams and treatments.
I actually mean the medical office nurse, the medical records keeper, and the office receptionist.
This is noteworthy because all three of these, when I was admitted,
were women who had been on the job for decades here.
And suddenly all three were no longer there.
True, one of them had her retirement year/date already set.
But another of them, considerably younger, quit outright.
So suddenly the clinic found that it had to re-staff this office altogether.

This came up because the new receptionist is having trouble fitting in. This new employee knows the job and all, but the culture at this particular clinic is a challenge for them.
Earlier today, a fellow patient was positively distraught because the receptionist
had left a voice mail for the patient, which crossed a confidentiality boundary, AND a third party was named.
It all reminded my fellow patient
of the dysfunction in her own family of origin,
and right now the patient is deep into the family-therapy work sessions
in which her parents are fighting tooth and nail with her and her clinicians,
and the stress of it is literally making her physically ill.

There's always something to struggle over, seems like.
It just gives me something to brood over.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jun 22 - 08:46 AM

Good-O

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 May 22 - 11:16 PM

Things are calm here, which is nice for a change.
People managed to mellow out a bit, over the holiday.
Doesn't always happen --
this is my third Memorial Day at this clinic,
and at the worst of the pandemic/lockdown, holidays were just as tense and volatile, if not more so, than
the usual treatment schedule. But this time things were chill.

Somebody pointed out that this is the time of year
when bears get hungry and start raiding dumpsters again.
And this has happened in summers past, so we will have to
keep a weather eye on dumpsters for bears, all over again.

Because this region has had a high rate of infection,
we are wearing facemasks in common areas again.
Our housemate, thankfully, is testing negative and recovering slowly.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 May 22 - 09:55 PM

My fellow patient/resident, now testing negative for COVID-19, has been released from isolation.
Instead of having meals brought to her bedroom door, she may now leave the premises, cross the campus to the dining hall at the big main residence, and eat meals with the rest of us.
Her coughing had been very bad -- in fact she is still coughing. She is on antibiotics for the upper-respiratory infection, which are wreaking havoc with her already sensitive (read: irritable) digestion. And when she speaks, she sounds like a frog, with her laryngitis.

We patients continue to report for COVID testing every week on campus; the tests are paid for by the clinic, which is real nice of them.
Two days a week, normally, we may show up to supply test samples on the spot.
One of those days, however, is always Monday.
Next Monday is a holiday, the facility where we test on-site is closed.
So we will all have to cram our test appearances into one single weekday, later in the week. Could be crowded and confused . . .

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 May 22 - 12:26 PM

Your nutritionist wants you to stay alive, Mrrzy dear.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 May 22 - 10:38 AM

Sure.

Stay well in there!

I am still fine. Stopped losing weight after a long talk with a keto nutritionist, whose advice boiled down (see what I did there?) to 2 words:

Eat more.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 May 22 - 05:46 PM

One of the housemates at my smaller (cheaper) on-campus residence
tested positive for coronavirus.
Not a false positive either.
That was about eight days ago.
All week long, this past week, she has been in isolation in her room.
Her meals are brought to her.
My room is directly underneath hers, and sound, as you know, travels down in particular. I hear her coughing at all hours.
She gets medication so she can sleep, at least, and nursing at the clinic are watching her regularly.
They say her condition has stabilized sufficiently so that there is no question of transferring her to hospital, she can be treated here. So we are all going about with facemasks on, sanitizing and all,
and maybe this coming week the incubation deal will end its time limit
and testing this patient can resume, the better to find out if she is testing negative.
Can you test negative even if you still have a cough??

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 16 May 22 - 02:37 AM

That's good news about your sleep treatment. I can empathise because I used to have sleep difficulties but now it's more under control.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 May 22 - 06:10 PM

Have now been a resident for a month and a little extra
in the plan on campus, away from the main residence for patients.
There have been some rough days,
but on the whole, treatment is going well and the smaller residence hall with its privacy and quiet is an improvement ...
AND it costs less.

Last month, following the sleep study and the diagnosis of serious sleep apnea,
my insurance agreed to cover the acquisition of a CPAP machine
and I have been sleeping with it every night.
It was a big adjustment, and uncomfortable for a week or two.
Now the use of the machine in bed at night is part of my routine,
I am feeling accustomed to doing this every night,
AND when I do sleep, the quality of sleep is improved.
Others remark on how I am not as low-energy as I was before.
Still a lot of room for improvement,
as the quantity of sleep is still an issue,
and my sleep cycle timings are off, like dream sleep.

But things have gotten better with the CPAP treatment
and I don't feel that I am at rock bottom anymore.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Feb 22 - 09:31 PM

Hey, keb, congrats! Bon courage!

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Feb 22 - 05:00 PM

Next month, through the big medical/hospital complex up the road
(with the clinic's medical office coordinating in between),
I'm scheduled to take a sleep study kit home
from the sleep disorders center,
and to use it that night in my bedroom at the clinic.
Bring it back to the medical center up the road, next morning.
Then a phone consult is scheduled with a nurse-practitioner
to go over any prospective diagnosis from the sleep study,
and the next step to be taken.

If there is no diagnosis of sleep apnea, I will be really surprised,
as the symptoms I do have are pretty bad at this point.

It means I am deeply fatigued.
I have all that I can do not to walk without staggering.
And my emotion/psyche level is really low down.

The support system in the treatment program at the clinic, however,
is doing its part.
In the last several days, my clinical 'team' has gathered around me
in order to nudge me into starting the paperwork to move out of the main residence,
and to transition to another level of treatment.
Still on campus, in a different residence,
where the patients/residents form a small household.
They still come to the big residence to eat in the dining room and so on,
but they have more privacy than one has in the main residence,
and there are little self-reliance goals they work at in order to
prepare for transitioning outside.

I have now been in the main residence for two years, and
the staff / team are literally saying to me, "It's time."
So I've gotten the paperwork started,
which needs a whole sequence of different approvals;
it will take time.
I have to trust that the staff knows better than I what I need at this point.
I just know I need to get some sleep.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Feb 22 - 07:44 PM

Oy vey.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 13 Feb 22 - 02:09 PM

Another pitiful drama coming to its denouement.
The patient in question broke the rule about staying off cannabis while in treatment.
Nobody listens to me, of course, but
I think said patient should transfer to drug rehab.
The cannabis abuse was serious
and this clinic does NOT do detox.

Of course the individual case has many tragic complications,
like suicidality and dissociative episodes.
It's just really sad to see it all coming to this.
The administrative decision, whichever it will be,
comes down to an announcement tomorrow (Monday),
and emotions are high, intense, and polarized.
I joined a discussion last evening to put in my two cents' worth
and right away somebody had to announce to the group
how angry my words made them ... it was not my intent to make anybody angry ...
I feel like I ought to keep my big mouth shut for a few days.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 10 Feb 22 - 10:25 PM

Yeah, relaxing sometimes, staying in one's lane...

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Feb 22 - 08:59 PM

So now the week ends on an upbeat feeling,
and I can't even justify why I suddenly felt so much better.
All I did was stop trying to control everything ...
oh, wait ...

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Feb 22 - 11:37 PM

Hang in there, keb.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Feb 22 - 10:01 PM

See, Mrrzy, they never DID answer that question,
the staff, they left it up to the patients. They always do, here.
Part of the whole analysis mindset, I guess.

It would be a different place if they did tell us what to do and how to do it.

I'm just in a rather low place tonight.
I see that a long-time, highly-valued Mudcatter decided to leave.
It made me very sad.
But then the sadness was there even before I learned that news.

My car, at least, is behaving itself. Just have to chip the ice off.

I saw a RED squirrel in the parking lot the other day, forgot to report that.
The red ones stay close to the woods and the foothills hereabouts,
it is rare to see them come into civilized lawns or parking lots
where they would have to tangle with other critters,
like the bigger, domineering gray squirrels.
So you go, red squirrel.
I remember the red ones from my childhood.
They used to make me laugh with their jerky speedy movements.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Feb 22 - 03:13 PM

Keb, what *are* we supposed to do?

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Jan 22 - 09:17 PM

Hearing that Norma Waterson has died
really brought me rather low today.

And there are more patients, than usual at one time,
complaining of suicidal ideation and scaring their roommates and friends with it.
There are some of us here in the patient community
who literally exclaim with exasperation,
What are we supposed to do when we hear stuff like this?
Just came from a group therapy meeting where we thrashed out that very subject.
It probably left some people feeling better after the meeting,
to air these heavy questions and clear the air a little better.

I am worried for some of my fellow patients, though.
I'll manage, but I am not so certain of the others.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Jan 22 - 09:23 AM

Oy. Last seen when I went to hand out soup to the homeless on boxing day. I gave him soup before I recognized him. We spoke... He was unkind but not threatening, which is better, and he could put a sentence together, also better. He didn't make reasonable sense but grammatical sense. Hope *that* makes sense.
I ran into an acquaintance, a strange gay hispanic child-molesty homeless advocate dude (SGHiCMHoD) who reports that the other homeless are afraid of him (of my son), and that I should expect someone to beat him up for being belligerent.
Frankly, I hope he (son, not SGHiCMHoD) *does* get put in hospital. Even unvaxxed. He might get some help he otherwise refuses, that way.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 28 Jan 22 - 07:03 PM

Which reminds me, Mrrzy my friend:

what transpired for your son Tim last year?
At last report, he was due in court
for what happened with his (former) roommate??

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 28 Jan 22 - 03:48 PM

Keberoxu, don't know if it is about you, but the book Everybody In This Room Will Soeday Be Dead is absolutely exactly and perfectly about me.

If any of you are interested in what my mind was like before I managed to check into that suicide prevention program 2 years ago, read that book.

Spot on.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Jan 22 - 10:00 AM

Good on yer, keb.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 04:40 PM

Thus begins another year and
soon I will have my second-year anniversary of admission,
and I'm still at that same treatment clinic
for residential in-patient psychiatric care.

I've spent more money in those months
than I believe I had done in the whole of my adult life and career.
I don't regret the treatment,
but my stomach still drops at the thought of the total sum,
paid out one month at a time.

Just finished consolidating the cash reserves I have,
which includes shutting down accounts at a bank
where I was a customer for at least thirty years ...
having relocated to a part of the country
where that bank has no branch locations.
I kept that account as a nest egg, earning interest.
It was time to sacrifice the funds in that account
towards the payment of my treatment bills.
So, I had to travel out of state to get the cash
and close the accounts.
Just deposited the cashier's checks at my current bank this week.

My clinical team is pleased with my treatment so far and they find
that my recent work is productive.
Which means that it hurts like hell.
I'm sitting here trying not to cry
after getting out of my most recent billable hour of therapy.
I hate it when it hurts, I really do.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Dec 21 - 05:10 PM

We used to go shopping the day after Thanksgiving before it had that name and got awful. Whole family split into twos and threes, walk around and point out likes and dislikes, reconvene, change groups, go back around for what people said they liked. Kind of a do-see-dough...

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 04 Dec 21 - 03:51 PM

keberoxu, I was friends with an American family a while back. They were working over here for a few years, she plays the harp so that's how we met. They invited me over for Thanksgiving one time and I couldn't believe how much food was on the table for three adults and a couple of small children. One thing which sticks in my mind was that she said that she had never prepared and cooked a real pumpkin for the pumpkin pie. I asked what she usually used, and when she said she bought it in a can I was totally incredulous.

Pumpkins are really common here. We don't get them in cans, and the other thing which amazed me was that the canned pumpkins are sweetened. Most of our pumpkin dishes are savoury - roasted pumpkin, pumpkin soup, pumpkin scones, pumpkin in stews, etc. All yummy! But the only recipe with a small bit of sugar added - except I don't do it - is in the pumpkin scones.

I only discovered this week what Black Friday shopping frenzy is about and its connection to Thanksgiving. The shopping thing cropped up here a few years ago but it seemed to come out of nowhere and it was never explained, and I never really knew what date it was especially since Black Friday means a Friday the 13th to me.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Dec 21 - 01:19 PM

Here's the deal with North American Thanksgiving:
always on a Thursday,
maybe somebody else knows why, I don't, but it's always Thursday.
Followed, in the present millenium, by Black Friday,
which was NOT part of the original observation.

The outcome is a long holiday weekend instead of
a mere Thursday observance.
Hence, five days.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Helen
Date: 04 Dec 21 - 12:04 AM

When I said before about a little treat in moderation being beneficial for your state of mind, I definitely wasn't thinking of a 5 day binge.

Thanksgiving isn't a thing over here so I guess it was a cultural difference in understanding. Here was I thinking it is only one meal. LOL

My car is 16 years old, very reliable (Toyota Corolla), and usually I get her checked over once a year but because I've now retired my usual place to go is too far away from home so she missed out on her checkup a year ago. She made up for it by costing a lot more money than I'd planned or envisaged, but I prefer to know that everything is safe and going properly so I just paid up and thanked the mechanic for being thorough.

Subject: RE: BS: stay afloat while others don't
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Dec 21 - 11:11 PM

Speaking of car service...

I am not allowed to go back to my dealership where I tried to take my newish car for a recall repair and something went wrong amd I *lost* it and yelled and swore. Then I backed into the door leaving and damaged my new car. Ooh I was mad. Over something minor. That was my fault anyway, it turned out, but I totally assumed it was theirs, given that they had screwed up the last two times and this was going to be their last chance not to screw up again...

So um yeah too many carbs.

Had long talk with shrink. Turns out his recommendation for the occasional glycogen break was a (one) meal every few weeks, not a whole holiday 5-day weekend's worth every few months. Live and learn.

Plus when I told him I lost it he asked were the cops called which no, they weren't, which put things back in perspective...

The highlight of the car thing, though, was when the manager, who had not been there, called to say he didn't want me back, I said with emphasis, You are the first person to do your job right at that place. You *should* protect your people from the likes of me even if they *are* screwing up. First time in his career, he said.

The highlight of the therapy session was I said I was crying at folk songs and I think I was lonely. He said, one definition of loneliness is what happens when a part of your soul is not being seen by the universe. So, he asked, what part of me us not being seen? And I thought about it, melted into tears, and said Meeeee...