Inappropriate Songs

Subject: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 02:25 PM

Throughout the ages there have been what in modern times we would call inappropriate songs.These are songs that are sexually, politically or otherwise "no-no" songs.One example is "Slap Her Down Again, Paw"!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd4kIvqGNek

Yet another one is "You Blacked my blue eyes Once too Often" I believe the chorus is
          You blacked my blue eyes once too often.
          You're too handy at breaking my jaw.
          You blacked my blue eyes once too often.
          Now I'm going back home to my maw.
I do not know the rest of the lyrics nor can I find the song or video.Any other songs of this ilk? Bawdy songs are acceptable.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 04:31 PM

They want to pull down statues. Songs will be next.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 04:48 PM

No doubt someone(s) already have.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 05:41 PM

not always sexual.

One time Lenny Bruce spied a large group of Japanese businessmen in the club audience, he got the band to play a song called Remember Pearl Harbour as he made his entrance.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST,Rigby
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 05:48 PM

There is a book called something like Bawdy Songs of the Early Music Hall which collects together a fairly representative sample of the songs that were sung there in the first half of the 19th Century. They are almost without exception (a) extremely smutty, and (b) not very good. I had been hoping to dig up something with which to scandalise modern audiences, but these are mostly really charmless and surprisingly boring. The editor notes that he chose the least bad out of hundreds of similar ones -- the mind boggles.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Joe Offer
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 06:08 PM

I admit I was taken aback the first time I heard a recording of Pete Seeger unapologetically singing Ain't It a Shame?:

Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday ?
Ain't it a shame?
Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday ?
Ain't it a shame ?
Ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a Sunday-
When you got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday,
Oh, Thursday, Friday, Saturday
Ain't it a shame ?

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: meself
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 06:17 PM

Irony is a very slippery critter.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 06:18 PM

John Morgan was a 19th century ballad writer, whose work appeared on many a cheap and cheerful broadside sheet of that period. He wrote pretty much anything that paid, including topical songs, gallows ballads, campaign songs for politicians and good old-fashioned filth. Two of his best innuendo-laden sex songs were The Beautiful Muff and The Cottage, both of which can be found in the Bodleian Library's collection. You can get a taste of their shamelessly suggestive lyrics in the blue box here .

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Deckman
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 07:52 PM

This fragment springs to mind:

"Violate me in the violet time,
   In the vilest way that you can ... "
bob(deckman)nelson

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Jack Campin
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 08:01 PM

My local supermarket was playing "It Might As Well Rain Until September" as canned music last week. I wonder how many Texan ones did?

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 10:49 PM

Wow, Joe! I never knew of Pete singing that song! How weird that seems!

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 03 Sep 17 - 10:55 PM

Jack Campin:I'd be almost willing to bet that the Texans didn't sing
               Let it rain, let it pour, let it rain a whole more
               I've got those deep river blues...

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 04:59 AM

Run For Your Life:

"I'd rather see you dead, little girl, than to be with another man..."

To be fair to John Lennon, he later expressed regret for writing the song.

Subject: ADD: Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns..
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 07:43 AM

Pretty much anything from Kinky Friedman, someone is going to find inappropriate.

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

You uppity women I don't understand
Why you gotta go and try to act like a man,
But before you make your weekly visit to the shrink
You'd better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink.

Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed
That's what I to my baby said,
Women's liberation is a-going to your head,
Get your biscuits in the oven and your buns in the bed.

Or maybe you'd prefer

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin' lone star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
"they oughta send you back to russia, boy, or new york city one
You just want to doodle a christian girl and you killed god's only son."
I said, "has it occurred to you, you nerd, that that's not very nice,
We jews believe it was santa claus that killed jesus christ."
"you know, you don't look jewish," he said, "near as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger."

Or maybe

And I'm proud to be an asshole from El Paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos
Ta-ta-ta-tacos
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IBaz8WEBIw

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST, DTM
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 08:44 AM

John Lennon sings "Shoot me" several times ion Come Together.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST, DTM
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 08:46 AM

On a cruise a few years ago the karioke winner sang "My Heart Will Go On".

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 09:26 AM

Don't want to round on Lennon too much, but "yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye" and "You've been a naughty girl, you've let your knickers down" didn't exactly do it for me either. There's plenty of context though. The wiki article on I Am The Walrus is quite interesting.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 09:29 AM

Then there's Elvis:

"Come on and be my little good luck charm
Uh-huh huh, you sweet delight
I want a good luck charm
A-hanging on my arm
To have, to have, to hold, to hold tonight"

Yikes!

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST,Rigby
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 09:47 AM

Let's not forget Dachau Blues by Captain Beefheart.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 11:23 AM

I am not sure who wrote or sang this little ditty , maybe Oscar Brand on L
one of his bawdy songs albums.. Anyway, it's inappropriate:
          Last night I contemplated masturbation, oh wasn't it grand
Oh wasn't it grand!
         With a flip of the hand, with the flip of the hand!
Left hand, right hand, flip it in and out!
         Left hand right hand, flip it all about!
         They say that sexual intercourse is something very grand
         But for personal satisfaction I would rather use my hand.
!

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 04:49 PM

Ambidextrous, eh? Interesting...

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST,Midchuck since '98, no longer allowed in...
Date: 04 Sep 17 - 05:30 PM

Guest Gerry: You omitted Friedman's masterpiece, "The Ballad of Charles Whitman."

"There was a rumor, about a tumor,
Nestled at the base of his brain.
He was sittin' up there with his .36 magnum,
Laughin' gaily as he bagged 'em.
Who are we to say the boy's insane?"

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: JHW
Date: 05 Sep 17 - 05:38 AM

Though this thread is looking for Inappropriate Songs for all occasions a singaround can be made or wrecked by the singing of the right or wrong choice of song.
As well as knowing your song I do think it is important to sing the right song for the moment.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Joe Offer
Date: 05 Sep 17 - 07:15 AM

Right, JHW. I went to a "bawdy songs" singaround which featured Abby Sale and Jennifer Cutting. I sang some naughty songs, but they didn't fit in because they weren't bawdy enough.

-Joe-

Hey, Midchuck, anybody who writes songs like "Boxers and Sox" is a member in good standing. Send me an email. [e-mail]

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 05 Sep 17 - 12:42 PM

Mary, go milk the bull...the bull
You've only one tit to pull.


He was a great big son of a bitch twice the size of me!
Oh, Nelly put your belly close to mine.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 05 Sep 17 - 01:03 PM

A song for rugby players
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Rt-slH2AO4

(or any others)

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 07 Sep 17 - 05:31 AM

As JHW says, sometimes songs are inappropriate for a particular reason with a particular group of people. I have never felt very comfortable with songs
Ike "Blue Bleezin' Blind Drunk" or "Glasgow Lullaby" - not been a victim myself, thank goodness, but they are about wife battering.
"Goodbye Booze" - might be a struggling alcoholic in the room.....
But the worst, although done in all innocence, was when someone sang a song about having cancer, right next to someone who was then undergoing chemotherapy: most of us knew, but the singer didn't!

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Sep 17 - 08:04 AM

I remember a group of us singing 'Lord of the dance' at a community centre for the disabled. Too late to do anything once we had started and everyone took it in good heart :-)

I returned from a trip to Antigua with a miniature steel drum and a Rastafarian type hat. I practiced a tune on the drum and got it off pretty well so took both down to the folk club one night. For the first time ever, at our club, a black singer turned up. I decided to postpone the airing of the hat and drum!

DtG

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: CupOfTea
Date: 07 Sep 17 - 08:33 AM

During Christmas Vacation of my freshman year of high school, I went sledding on Cain Park Hill, the steepest "safe" place to go. Going double decker made the sled harder to steer, screaming didn't help - many were hollering for the fun of it, and so ended up going face first into the runner of a guy's sled. He was too busy chatting up a chick to notice anything else.

The damage was considerable, though not very bloody: I had knocked two front teeth off at the gum line. I love Spike Jones as much as the next silly person, but anyone playing, humming, singing, or whistling "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" at me was going to know how very inappropriate that song is in my presence!

Joanne in Cleveland, coincidentally nursing a broken back tooth this week

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 07 Sep 17 - 10:46 AM

Reminds me of a concert we did, where we played a set of music-hall-type songs, including "Two Lovely Black Eyes". Yes, there in the front row was a little old lady who met that description perfectly!

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 07 Sep 17 - 02:58 PM

Then there's Flanders and Swann's Have Some Madeira, M'dear.

I used to love doing that song (it almost got me married 40 years ago!), but stopped a while back when I had to admit to myself that it's ultimately about a lecherous old geezer getting a 17 year old virgin drunk and raping her. Conscience finally kicked in on that one.


Jay

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 07 Sep 17 - 03:18 PM

Topical Tom's earlier post regarding a masturbation song jarred this long-buried memory:

In my previous post, I mentioned almost getting married 40 years ago - I remembered that my then-girlfriend sang this song which might be a cousin to the aforementioned (sung to Funiculi, Funicula):

Last evening, I came home and masturbated
It felt so good, I knew it would
Last evening, I came home and masturbated
It felt so nice, I did it twice!

Ram it, slam it, up against the wall
Ram it, slam it, it's better than a ball!

La la la la, la la la la...

Can't recall if there was anything additional. Anyway, that's all I can remember. Where she got it, I have no idea.


Jay

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 07 Sep 17 - 03:45 PM

Speaking about inapprobriate situations, I once told a racist joke which I had heard and which I, at the time , considered really humorous.It was in a group of university friend.When no one laughed I realized that I had made a faux pas.Imagine my shame when someone said "You do know that ...is black". I have ever since that day never told an inappropriate racist joke to anyone. Of course I repeatedly apologized to the injured person but the deed had been done. I have ever since regretted it.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: BobL
Date: 08 Sep 17 - 03:01 AM

In my repertoire are numerous comic songs about situations which in real life are not in the least bit funny - industrial accidents, unwanted pregnancies, alcohol abuse, marital infidelity, animal cruelty (albeit unintentional). I'm always conscious that they may touch a raw nerve with anyone who has actually been on the receiving end.

Doesn't stop me singing them though.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 08 Sep 17 - 11:14 AM

Although I love the singing and the yodeling there are many inappropriate statements in this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEIBmGZxAhg

song:

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST,California Dreamer
Date: 11 Sep 17 - 06:23 AM

There's Happiness is a Warm Gun by the Beatles
I don't think I've heard that one on the radio for about 30 years.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 17 - 10:15 AM

There's something in music to offend everyone, especially if they do not understand irony or satire. Eric Bogle's "I hate wogs" comes to mind in this regard.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Sep 17 - 10:18 AM

Maxwell Silver Hammer...?

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Jack Campin
Date: 11 Sep 17 - 10:46 AM

I heard of someone who did "Weela weela walia" at a Scottish children's home and wondered why it got a response of uncomfortable silence. Turned out one of the staff had gone berserk and killed one of the kids the previous year.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 11 Sep 17 - 07:31 PM

Just back from a wonderful Scottish festival, at which we had visitors from France, Germany, Israel, USA and Canada. Was about to launch into "The Battle of the Somme" when the German visitors walked in - no I didn't! Played "Ode to Joy" instead!

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 12 Sep 17 - 11:46 AM

For satire:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2vt8TjoO70

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST,Some bloke
Date: 12 Sep 17 - 12:15 PM

My formative years as a dj on hospital radio (in the '70s of course which in itself is inappropriate..)


Officer...

We used to play "Who's sorry now" and "shotgun wedding" whenever requests came in from the maternity unit, regardless of what they asked for (usually something by The New Seekers.)

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: JHW
Date: 12 Sep 17 - 12:34 PM

"I remember a group of us singing 'Lord of the dance' at a community centre for the disabled. Too late to do anything once we had started "

A group of us thought similarly that Jug of Punch was a good jolly song to sing in a similar situation - forgetting 'even the cripple forgets his hunch'

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 12 Sep 17 - 12:58 PM

I was responsible for organising a festival concert a few years back, featuring several short acts of the local talent: so I asked everyone for a set list so that any duplications of song choices could be avoided. One local songwriter said - "Doesn't matter, as I'll only be singing my own songs".
During the day several of us had been to the funeral and cremation of the Mum of one of our Committee members. Yer man gets up and sings "Your Granny makes a lovely cup of tea" - which is basically about mixing up the tea urn with the ashes urn! Thank heavens, our bereaved Committee member had decided she didn't feel up to coming to the concert!

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 12 Sep 17 - 11:30 PM

So I'm not the only one to have done or spoken inappropriately on occasions!LOL!

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: Merritt
Date: 15 Sep 17 - 12:23 AM

+1 sometimes songs are inappropriate for a particular reason with a particular group of people.

When I lived in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, USA I picked up occasional gigs at various clinics run by the Veterans Administration (VA) of the federal govt. It was pretty much plug & play - the staff would set up a mediocre but serviceable sound system (almost always a Yamaha StagePass 300), I'd bring in a couple of guitars, etc. Altho there was very little info ahead of each performance, the audiences were consistently groups of older guys, a few from WWII, many who fought in the Korean and Vietnam conflicts. I played songs from the 1920s-1970s.

One day I showed up for an afternoon gig and it was a different sort of group with about 50 guys I'm guessing in the 20-60 age range. Thinking little of it, I set up and launched into Ain't Nobody's Business, "Champagne don't make me lazy, whiskey it doesn't make me crazy. They say candy is candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker and if you drink all the liquor down Costa Rica,...." A guy wearing a tie, more of a formal outfit than the vets, came running out of the back of the room, shouting "No, no, no, no!", waving his arms. I immediately stopped playing/singing. Apparently, this was a group in recovery from alcoholism and a variety of drug addictions - lyrics to be limited accordingly. News to me, I pointed out - but was definitely shook up. I looked at my playlist mentally crossing out another 7 or 8 songs. So, let's see, Memphis Slim's Beer Drinking Woman definitely not happening... I got through the gig but thereafter always asked about my audience when the VA called.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: topical tom
Date: 15 Sep 17 - 01:15 PM

Uh oh! Rehab readjusted!

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: robomatic
Date: 15 Sep 17 - 11:43 PM

Three cheers for Randy Newman: Not only "Short People" which was written tongue deeply in cheek, but my favorite: "Political Science" which I used to sing to international students I picked up at the airport.

Some might take: "Wedding in Cherokee County" and "Sigmund Freud's impersonation of Albert Einstein in America" and "Back on My Feet Again" as unacceptable in some venues, but they're musical gold.

And Warren Zevon's wonderful song: "Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner"

And Dan Bern's "Marilyn" or "The Day They Found a Cure for A.I.D.S." or "Hannibal"

Sometimes you have to take a chance on a song that packs a punch.

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Sep 17 - 10:35 AM

Well, I would not go to a college campus and sing anything that had the word "right" in the title..they would have to give trigger warnings and set up safe spaces !

Subject: RE: Inappropriate Songs
From: GUEST,Phil d'Conch
Date: 16 Sep 17 - 01:30 PM

The Yank's The Star Spangled Banner is the focus of a great deal of protest, as is the subject banner.

Damn near any national anthem will do that to somebody in the audience. Been that way forevers.

Never sing Yellow Bird to a Haitian audience. Though you might could pull it off as an instrumental if you went with Davy Graham or similar.