BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Jan 18 - 11:57 AM

Dead fish lie scattered over thousands of square miles of the surface of the mid Caribbean Sea. A major ecological disaster is in progress. Donual has gone into hiding from the large crowds world-wide looking for someone to blame.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Jan 18 - 11:09 AM

The alley-gator is putting up a sign over the bar.

"Please check your phasers and other WMD at the Armory BEFORE ordering."

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 12 Jan 18 - 10:53 AM

As a 7.0 is listed as being 20,000,000,000 KG of dynamite in power ( 20MT, in H-Bomb terms), Mrrzy is immediately arrested for possession of a WMD. Phasers are NOT Earth-friendly.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jan 18 - 04:48 PM

Oops it was a 7.6 earthquake, which is almost 10 times bigger than a 7.2.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jan 18 - 04:41 PM

Mrrzy dropped his phaser overboard set at full power in the mid Caribbean Sea. On his way back from Honduras. Fortunately it did not overload and explode until it reached the sea bottom. It set off a 7.2 Earthquake but did not raise a tsunami because of the radial dispersion of energy
.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 Jan 18 - 04:10 PM

aside:----------------------------------------------
Make a paste of ground green olives and chopped datil peppers.

Wipe the dates with a damp cloth. Cut a lengthwise incision across the top of each date and carefully remove the pit. Take 1 tsp or so of the datil paste, roll it between your palms into a spherical shape, and tuck inside the date. It should bulge out of the opening. Repeat with the remaining paste and dates.
---------------------------------------------------------:aside

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 Jan 18 - 03:38 PM

Beardedbruce sits at the bar, with a box of Medjool dates and a bowl of datil pepper paste.

"A man really has to work to get a hot date around here." he says, stuffing the dates and placing them onto a wooden tray. He then starts getting the ingredients for the chicken pistachio balls together.

http://recipeofhealth.com/recipe/chicken-pistachio-balls-152230rb

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: JennieG
Date: 11 Jan 18 - 03:10 PM

Carl Orff's sons, Johannes and Nicholas - Hans and Nick to their friends - have decided to join the cruise at the next port of call.

Keep an eye out for Hans Orff and Nick Orff, they have no experience of wombats. Or bats either, for that matter.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 Jan 18 - 12:18 PM

The wombat, non-wombats, and assorted chori are off to the side, singing dirges and other such cheerfull songs.


The Christmas tree is looking a bit bedraggled, so Dishpan Hans, the German kitchen helper, and I put it out by the beach door, for use in stabilizing the dunes.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Jan 18 - 05:26 AM

"It's been a year since last we met
We may never meet again
I have struggled to forget
But the struggle was in vain.
For her voice lives on the breeze
Her spirit comes at will,
In the midnight on the seas
Her bright smile haunts me still.
    In the midnight on the seas
    Her bright smile haunts me still.

I have sailed a falling sky
And I've charted hazard's path
I have seen the storm arise
Like a giant in his wrath
Every danger I have known
That a reckless life can fill
Though her presence is now flown
Her bright smile haunts me still
    Though her presence is now flown
    Her bright smile haunts me still


At the first sweet dawn of light
When I gaze upon the deep,
Her form still greets my sight
While the stars their vigils keep.
When I close my aching eyes
Sweet dreams my memory fill
And from sleep when I arise
Her bright smile haunts me still.
    And from sleep when I arise
    Her bright smile haunts me still."

from the still present chorii.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 18 - 09:00 PM

"She haunts me still."

Better not haunt me still, says he! Enough spirits there already.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: JennieG
Date: 09 Jan 18 - 05:52 PM

Will there be wombats on the cruise?

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 09 Jan 18 - 11:32 AM

Two weeks?

"Five year mission: to boldly go where no man has gone before."

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Senoufou
Date: 09 Jan 18 - 07:29 AM

Ooooh Mrrzy! Have a lovely time! Bon voyage et gros bisoux!

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Jan 18 - 06:59 AM

Sadly, this wombless bat must go estivate ailleurs... see you all next year, if I wake up in time!

(Imma gonna be offline for about 2 weeks because, *cough*, Imma taking one of them Star Trek cruises. Ahoy and prosper!)

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 09 Jan 18 - 02:05 AM

Walter, Winfred, and William go back to the non-giant wombat group, joining their friends in banjo practice.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 02:34 PM

A hot buttered strumpet comes over, but I remain inconsolable- I can't even find a keyboard and mouse.

One of the non-wombats offers to keep the curser in the air, but I tell the fledermaus to ignore him, until he can clean up his language.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 02:26 PM

The freeze-dried ice-cream from the Lunar Tavern floats in the jello pit like strange marshmallows.

William Wombat and I try to teach the parrot "Her Bright Smile Haunts me Still", but the struggle was in vain. At midnight, I go to the beach door and look out over the sand, towards the waves.

Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December...

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 18 - 09:13 AM

But lots of bounce.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Jan 18 - 10:46 PM

Ah, that restaurant on the moon. Great food - no atmosphere.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Severn
Date: 07 Jan 18 - 11:11 AM

Call it ambiance or room tone

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 07:31 PM

I raise a glass of hot spiced cider to Phil.

William Wombat offers another mug, and a moment of silence (except for the slurps) or heard.

" difficult even for us to hear silence." Says a non-wombat.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 02:07 PM

Sorry, using a tablet. Joke çontinued:

One monk says to the other, "It's a shame about....uh....what was his name again?"

"I don't remember offhand, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

The two jokes go out in memory of my late performing partner Phil Fox, who would often pull them out as time killers during our sets.....

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Severn
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 01:55 PM

To Jim Carroll,

Here's the follow up to your joke:

Soon after the demise of the hunchback's untimely (if right to the second) demise, a man comes to the cathedral and inquires about the job,saying that the hunchback had been his sibling and he'd be willing to work for just food and board to be able to carry on his late brother's life's work. Reluctantly, reminding the man of the dangers involved, the fellow is given the job. Things go well for awhile, until one day, he repeated the error of his predecessor and met the same fate.

Two monks stroll by the crumpled body still lying on the ground.

One says to the other

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 01:29 PM

Pourquoi ne suis-je pas surpris? asked the man named Black.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Senoufou
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 11:43 AM

Ha! 'The Thirteen Clocks'! (I'll squk his thrug')

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 10:00 AM

Whuppled ?

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 09:17 AM

"Geep," whuppled the parrot.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Senoufou
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 03:01 AM

All of those Rap. They all have 'warming' properties!

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 09:13 PM

Hot buttered strumpets? Or just hot trumpets?

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Senoufou
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 01:51 PM

And a giant crumpet-toasting machine arrives, together with half a ton of Irish butter, courtesy of the Old Lady, for the poor, frozen folk.
Hot buttered crumpets will soon warm them up.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 12:44 PM

The wombats help put out a large cask of spiced, heated cider, in preperation for the chilled visiters from the East Coast, US.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 12:42 PM

History note: ------------------------------------------------------

Epiphone began in 1873, in Smyrna, Ottoman Empire (now Izmir, Turkey), where Greek founder Anastasios Stathopoulos made his own fiddles and lutes (oud, laouto). Stathopoulo moved to the United States in 1903 and continued to make his original instruments, as well as mandolins, from Long Island City in Queens, New York. Anastasios died in 1915, and his son, Epaminondas ("Epi"), took over. After two years, the company became known as The House of Stathopoulo. Just after the end of World War I, the company started to make banjos. The company produced its recording line of banjos in 1924 and, four years later, took on the name of the Epiphone Banjo Company. It produced its first guitars in 1928. After Epi died in 1943, control of the company went to his brothers, Orphie and Frixo. In 1951, a four-month-long strike forced a relocation of Epiphone from New York City to Philadelphia. In 1957 the company was acquired by CMI who also owned Gibson, Lowrey, Selmer and others.
----------------------------------------------------------------------

I have more EKO instruments than Epiphones, but I have not yet figured out what a ekophany would be like ( a kakophony?)

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Severn
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 11:57 AM

Jean Shepard the writer, I assume, which would be nice, as I was a fan of his writings. That's opposed to the blond female Honky Tonk Country singer who was popular in the 1950s-1960s, not that she's a Shepard I shall nor would not want to listen to is the right situations, either.

Enjoy having your e-piphanies, even at breakfast at Tiffany's ad they happen. They are where you find them.....

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 10:38 AM

I have an epiphone I can loan you. not much good for long-distance calls, though.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 05:25 AM

You can have whatever kind of phany you would like.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Jan 18 - 11:54 PM

Is it too early to have an epiphany?

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jan 18 - 02:12 PM

Severn has Jean Shepard in his blood and his jeans are expressing themselves out loud.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Severn
Date: 04 Jan 18 - 01:57 PM

Severn, having left before 12th Night to do his monthly Friday 8-10 am shift on the "Ballads In The Morning" on WOWD-LP Community Radio 94.3 FM from Takoma Park MD, once again has fantasies as he drives home of being able to do a live remote broadcast from the tavern. If radio is truly the Medium of Imagination, we could all ride roughshod over the airwaves and take them by storm......(Sigh!)

But if anyone is streaming me at takomaradio.org I'll give a shout out on-air to all still lurking within the tavern. Even without a have to be better off in there than around here. As WC Fields repeatedly exclaimed throughout "The fatal Glass Of Beer",

"'Tain't a fit night out for man nor beast!"


.....Even in broad daylight.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 04 Jan 18 - 08:36 AM

Putting the cherry preserves next to the glass teacups, beardedbruce asks the standard size wombats if they need a pouch lunch.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Jan 18 - 12:30 AM

Hors de combat = camp followers? Where did I read that?

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Jan 18 - 07:04 PM

is there such a thing as
non-wombatants?

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Jan 18 - 07:02 PM

Technical note:

The Tavern, like Arizona, is it's own time zone, only loosely related to the mundane world.

The Tavern never closes, although everyone may leave on rare occasions.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Jan 18 - 05:10 PM

A small group of normal sized wombats wander in the SSW door, and join the nonwombats for a late tea.

One of the wombats, named Walter, looks at the sleeping giant wombat, and mutters "No getting him up until Easter: the holiday job really takes it out of him."

Another wombat, who goes by the name of Winfred, raise a teacup and offers a toast, " May all of us dream of heart's desire, and wake to a bright dawn."

"Amen." Rises out of the loft, where several chori are assembling themselves to help sweep up and get ready for the next day.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: beardedbruce
Date: 03 Jan 18 - 04:18 PM

Beardedbruce comes out of the SWW study and looks around, sighs, and joins the alley gator at the bar, helping to polish the glasses.

"I guess there is nothing to do until twelth night." He mutters.

The bats join him in setting up a samavar of tea, and bringing out a tray of baked goods from the pastry kitchen.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Severn
Date: 03 Jan 18 - 12:44 PM

About wombats being able to fly, apparently the phenomenon has been observed by the always reliable Peter Stampfel, a clear head if there ever was one, and later endorsed by this song having been recorded by Dave Van Ronk, as occurring around someplace in the American West called Random Canyon:

"Take me back to Random Canyon where the gryphon's always riffin',
And the unicorn gets horny in the spring.
Where the crystal coyote calls over sleepy garden walls,
And the wireless wombat wanders on the wing,
And the wireless wombat wanders on the wing......"


Who could doubt the likes of those two?......

A truck from a local contractor with Seth Poole & Co. painted on the side pulls to perform the scheduled maintenance and cleaning of the Jello Pit and reports in to Mmario and the alligator, who handle the till, ('til someone tells them otherwise).
Don't you folks EVER go home? We've got work we're s'posed to do, and this year, it looks like more than usual to set this place right. The good news is that we DO do walls, you all, and we just happen to be having a sale. I thought we'd be having to take on extra help, but some guy named Les asked for a job, and we took him on. There's a second truck coming in that will have a load of Army Surplus survival food.......

(Mmario shudders and makes the sign if the cross with his two index fingers)

.....for ol' Semi-modo up in the bell tower. Once you all 'ceptin' him and the Squid family are oughtta here, it should take about a week or so, and they get to have a beach vacation......Just sign here...."

The pen won't write....

"Mrs. Squid! Billy! One of you all please get over here for a second, as I need some ink".....

Most of the guys at one time or other have offered to give Teresa Terrific a ride home, but she said she'd rather jog.
"What's that out in the beach?" she cries in alarm, and while everyone checks it out, she zips on out of the door and is gone before anyone can try to follow her home.....

The ride home applies to anybody who didn't show up from Down Under", says Severn. It turns out that everyune was covered, excepting Teresa, who'd seemed to prefer it that way. Maybe some year, she'll become a re-nude aquaintence.....

The tree is bare, Mama squid having gotten her mischievous offspring to un-decorate and redistribute items to their owners. There's very little for the Lost & Found this year, the most interesting thing being some huge glasses with lenses as thick as TWO Cike bottles that must've belonged to the rhino....

Having bid all a farewell, Severn leaves before somebody tries to outbid him.
"And to think I had to turn around and come back a second time after first finding the place empty", he muses to himself. ....
And they heard him exclaim as he drive out of sight,

LET NOTHING YOU DISMAY!

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jan 18 - 07:41 PM

A homophone walked into a bar and got brews duh.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Jan 18 - 11:09 AM

The wombless bat starts to think about estivating... looking for a good table to hang myself upside down under. Not that we're down under, or even down east, here. Up with which shot I will not put.

Wake me if I'm going to miss anything, but if you do, feed me, see more glass.

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Jan 18 - 07:53 AM

I would't ask that lone shark for money. See the loan arranger instead.

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: A giant wombat wanders into a Tavern
From: David Carter (UK)
Date: 02 Jan 18 - 07:21 AM

I realize I am wrong about the word Tavern in Australia, the Bayview in Gladesville used to be called the Bayview Tavern. I should have remembered that, I used to go there to see INXS, who were sort of a house band, before they became megastars.