BS: Damned cyclists

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: keberoxu
Date: 27 Jun 18 - 12:50 PM

This thread TITLE put me in mind of
bicycle riders on city streets,
who give auto drivers fits.

Then I looked at the thread content
and it is plain
that bicycles are the least of your worries.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Jun 18 - 10:12 AM

Was it in the thread about the "Wild west show" and the winky-wanky bird?

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Raedwulf
Date: 26 Jun 18 - 05:17 AM

I'm using the pepper elsewhere, Freddy, and lots of it! It's definitely making someone sneeze (or something like that)... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: FreddyHeadey
Date: 26 Jun 18 - 03:57 AM

^^^^ ! reasoned ! ^^^^

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: FreddyHeadey
Date: 26 Jun 18 - 03:56 AM

I've just dipped in, back to ~23 June.

Raedwulf wrote a well seasoned post I liked.



punkfolkrocker said "this thread title really all along should have been...
" Damned inconsiderate stupid aresholes ... "

I'd offer
"Damned people."

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Jun 18 - 03:40 AM

You're right Mr Red. In Norwich I've seen mobility vehicles positively whizzing along, with pedestrians flinging themselves out of harm's way right and left.
What makes me giggle is the expression on the face of the 'driver' - tight-lipped determination with just a hint of evil triumph!

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Mr Red
Date: 26 Jun 18 - 03:34 AM

Electric vehicles, AFAIK, need no UK licence unless they are capable of more than 20 mph (or is it 25?).

Bikes, milk floats and mobility scooters

Ha! Mobility scooters at 20 mph on a pavement? They are a menace at anything more than walking pace, and I walk fast. I would not be too cautious to call such idiots, idiots. Disability and idiocy are not mutually exclusive.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Manitas_at_home
Date: 26 Jun 18 - 03:29 AM

If only...

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 26 Jun 18 - 02:37 AM

The billions spent on cycleways in London makes the cost of security at the recent royal wedding pale into insignificance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 05:31 PM

Perhaps roads and pavements should be made of extra thick layers of that rubbery safety surface
spread under the slides and swings in kiddies playgrounds...

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Raedwulf
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:32 PM

Mmmmm… Couple of odd statements there, Manitas, though I wouldn't disagree with the last sentence at all!

motorists have to share the roads with pedestrians who have an absolute right to use them

Historically motor vehicles are the interlopers on our roads

Regarding the first, first define 'road'. The vast majority of roads in London comprise two pavements either side of a strip (of varying width) of tarmac (actually it's not, but we'll get to that in a sec!). So what are you saying? That pedestrians have a right to walk down the middle of the road? That motor vehicles are allowed to drive on the pavement? If memory serves (I may be wrong), the Highway Code says that a pedestrian in the road (i.e. on the tarmac) has right of way i.e. you can't drive over them. That doesn't equate to a right to stand in the middle of the road, stopping the traffic. And you could just as validly state that pedestrians, like cyclists, are not currently required to prove any competence, which puts a slightly different emphasis on things.

As for the second, again define 'road'. When did a road become a road, historically speaking? Going back to the moped / scooter discussion, sort of... Macadam was pioneered around 1820, tarmacadam was patented in 1902, what we actually drive on these days, apparently, is asphalt concrete. In 1820, there was no real conception of rights, but there would have been horsemen & stagecoachs whizzing around. Both are quite capable of doing serious damage to a pedestrian, up to & including fatality (think Emily Davison under the King's horse at the Epsom Derby). If motor vehicles hadn't increased in number & capability, would anyone have felt a need to invent asphalt concrete? It's an interesting idea to consider, but I'm not sure what you want to convey in the 'historical interloper' notion.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:10 PM

My wife is a Blue Badge holder and has every right to drive into London, and NOT to be pestered by inconsiderate bad cyclists.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 03:38 PM

Yes there is if your wife is disabled.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Manitas_at_home
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 02:18 PM

20mph is not ridiculous it's the difference between injuring and killing. Like it or not motorists have to share the roads with pedestrians who have an absolute right to use them whereas motor vehicles are only used under licence. The majority of residents of inner London do not have cars. Historically motor vehicles are the interlopers on our roads. We need them, yes, but not everywhere and there is certainly no need to drive a private ( as opposed to commercial) vehicle in central London.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 10:53 AM

ok.. let's start linking this thread back together...

A bloke's family jewels and bicycle seats...

What's the best recommended comfortable cycle seat for an older fatter chap...

last time I was using my bike regularly,
after about 10 miles pressure points in my arse and gooch region would be in agony.
Fortunately, my tackle escaped the severest discomfort...

I'm a fair bit fatter now, and not been out on my bike for 2 or 3 years...

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 10:43 AM

The little girl who walks in while her father's having a shower:
"Daddy, what are those for?"

"FOUR!?"

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 10:00 AM

"Did he play pocket golf with a handicap?"

He did. His handicap was that there wasn't enough room in his pocket zone.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 09:48 AM

I was drunk in charge of a shopping trolley once...

It was well past midnight, and the only way to get my completely sozzled girlfriend [now the mrs]
safely back from the city centre to our student hall of residence 4 or 5 miles away...

I'm fairly certain we stayed on the pavements...???


Back then, I was so skinny, less than 11 stone,
and could get pissed on just a few bottles of strong lager...

Duran Duran and Spandau Ballet were in the pop charts...

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 09:29 AM

I agree entirely about the court scenario Raedwulf but I am pointing out the unreliability of a certain witless witness :-) If you have no idea what you have just seen you are not really qualified to comment on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: FreddyHeadey
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 09:27 AM

"The most audible device on most bikes ...."
is the voice of the rider.
Loud if an emergency arises but peferably asking, in gentle tones,"Excuse me\us,* could we come past on your left\right please?"

A bell from twenty metres away is acceptable but from a couple of metres is aggressive.


*"Excuse me Sir\Madam..." would probably be better.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 09:17 AM

Five balls between two of you? Someone's been short-changed:
Eyeballs 2 each
Balls of the feet 2 each
Ball of the thumb 2 each
And there may even be others ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Iains
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 08:58 AM

Did he play pocket golf with a handicap?

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 08:36 AM

I sidled up to a bloke in the pub last night. I sez to him, hey mate, between you and me we have five balls. He sez back, why, have you only got one?

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Iains
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 08:25 AM

Steve. Whatever makes for the best story! In the clubhouse it would probably be:"Hitler has only got one............"

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 08:14 AM

"a few dogs ambled around halfheartedly with a couple of balls"

What, between them or each?

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Raedwulf
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 06:45 AM

More to the point, the charge wouldn't be made that way. As already pointed out, the police know the difference (one hopes), and I imagine the charge would be read out giving the make, model & registration of the vehicle, since only the speed is relevant (the vehicle type isn't). I could be wrong - I was only ever in court once & that was 30-odd year ago!

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Iains
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 06:38 AM

Pedants make a great rout about criticism, as if it were a science of great depth, and required much pains and knowledge--criticism however is only the result of good sense, taste and judgment--three qualities that indeed seldom are found together, and extremely seldom in a pedant, which most critics are.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 06:25 AM

You are forgetting something are you not - photo and registration number?????

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 06:16 AM

To anyone who thinks the distinction is not important, imagine this scenario.

"The charge is that on the 23rd of June you were doing 60MPH down Croyden high street on your moped. How do you plead?"

"Not guilty"

"How can you plead not guilty? Bonzo caught you on camera!"

"A moped can only do 30MPH so either I was not doing 60MPH or it was not a moped. Either way, the change cannot be true."

"Case dismissed..."

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Iains
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 06:00 AM

One of the primary schools I attended was the same as John Major. A slightly different timescale though. Both his secondary school and mine had a regular old boys Boxing Day rugby match. Frequently frost stopped play, a few dogs ambled around halfheartedly with a couple of balls, and the two teams guzzled beer on the touchline. A far more enjoyable way of passing the time.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 05:43 AM

Ah yes - and in a John Major voice too!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Iains
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 05:40 AM

""did you know that this is not a moped if top speed is over 28mph"?"
or 31.0686 mph in Northern Ireland!

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 05:36 AM

I'm sick of these cutting remarks. I'm off to the rotary club. I'll mulch over what you've all had to say later.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Senoufou
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 05:18 AM

I reckon they'll have to put you out to grass then Steve.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 05:13 AM

I'm out moped hunting this morning, if I see one I shall say to the rider "did you know that this is not a moped if top speed is over 28mph"?

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Iains
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 05:04 AM

It would be a challenge to earn your stripes, the cutting mechanism is removed otherwise it could become a mower massacre. I wonder what sort of amphitheatre event the Romans could have created had they lawnmowers, or God Forbid, mopeds? Scythes on the wheels and every man for himself the devil take the hindmost?

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 05:00 AM

Do you want to continue while you are on a roller or should we get back to grass roots?

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:38 AM

Nah, turfed out in the early stages. I didn't exactly earn my stripes.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Senoufou
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:36 AM

Were you seeded Steve?

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:33 AM

I once entered a lawnmowing contest but I was eliminated in the first round. I simply couldn't cut it.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:29 AM

Yeah, fun innit!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:25 AM

Size 20 is a measure of ladies clothing, Bonzo. I would accept the appellation anorak though as you seem to be using it as an indication of being aware of driving laws. But, as amply demonstrated, you seem to get most things wrong...

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Iains
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 04:07 AM

More Moped confusion from Northern Ireland:

The moped category definition changed on 19 January 2013. The European rules have now changed and because of this the category on your new driving licence will now show as AM and Q instead of the old category P.
Moped category definition

A moped (category AM) is defined as having a maximum design speed over 25km/h (15.5mph) but not exceeding 45 km/h (28 mph); or a light quadricycle with an unladen weight not more than 350kg and up to 45km/h. It has an engine capacity no greater than 50 cubic centimetres (cc) and can be moved by pedals if it was first used before 1 September 1977.
Existing driving licence holders with moped entitlement

Previously your entitlement was shown on your driving licence as category P and covered you to ride mopeds with:

    an engine size up to 50 cc (cylinder capacity)
    a maximum speed up to 50 kilometres per hour (km/h)

Category P entitlement is not lost from the licence but you will also be awarded categories AM and Q as detailed below.

Your entitlement is shown as:

    category AM - gives you entitlement to ride mopeds with a maximum design speed over 25 km/h but not more than 45 km/h, small three wheelers (up to 50 cc and below 4 Kilowatt (kW)), and light quadricycles (unladen weight less than 350 kilograms (kg) and up to 45 km/h)
    category P - extending the above to include two or three-wheeled mopeds with a higher maximum speed of up to 50 km/h (to retain your existing entitlement)
    category Q - extending the above to include two or three-wheeled mopeds with a maximum speed up to 25 km/h (to retain your existing entitlement)

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 03:48 AM

"Point accepted. Most people call them mopeds. Most people do not know their arse a from their elbow :-) "

Most people don't wear size 20 anoraks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Mr Red
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 03:42 AM

no 'audible warning of approach' fitted to their death-trap machines the way they are required by the law.

I always maintained that notion, but it was pointed-out to me that UK law only requires bells (et al) to be fitted when sold. I haven't checked the precise law though.
So we can get the bike shops?

The most audible device on most bikes on the canal towpath (conveniently made rideable by canal volunteers) is the scrape of dust as the idiots slow down at the last minute. I do sometimes comment "that is very no ble" of you.

Humour is lost on the idiots.

BUT - better they cycle along the canal than mingle with idiots with engines.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Senoufou
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 03:39 AM

We have a Motocross course near our village, and they hold national events there (very noisy) about six times a year. The Motocross bikes look like mopeds, but they probably aren't, as they zoom around the track like anything. It's extremely hilly (artificial hills of course - Norfolk is flat!). Folk here call them the Scramblers.

I think the clue to a moped is the 'ped' bit. Originally they had pedals with which to start the motor and to assist it to get up inclines etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 03:36 AM

Point accepted. Most people call them mopeds. Most people do not know their arse a from their elbow :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Iains
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 03:30 AM

On grass it was, and watching Stirling Moss performing 4 wheel drifts on a lawn mower was quite an education. Thank God Oliver Reed was not competing that year. The breathalyser was then in it's infancy.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: BobL
Date: 25 Jun 18 - 03:22 AM

On grass, I presume? That could make drifting round the bends quite interesting.

Subject: RE: BS: Damned cyclists
From: Iains
Date: 24 Jun 18 - 06:58 PM

Bonzo3legs. It is not just mopeds that could race. Many,many years ago I took part in a lawnmower race at Wisborough Green in Sussex. Stirling Moss was in the same race and clearly demonstrated that he was the professional.