BS: Word Mash-ups?

Subject: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 04:58 PM

Misheard today: "Awkwardtunity"

Heard years ago (soften the R with a southern accent): "Horrornoma"

Is there any doubt what these mean?

Your turn!

?S?

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 05:13 PM

Argh. Nonononono! This is the sort of lazy, modern idiomatic drivel that I loathe. Sorry, wysi, but "cupset" instead of cup upset & all that jazz just... Argh. Nonononono!

It can be difficult enough getting your point across as it is. The last thing we need is more portmanteau words when half the world seems not to understand 3/4 of their native language (whether it be English or another).

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 05:18 PM

I prefer malapropisms. One of my dear friends was always coming out with strangely garbled expressions. She once announced to all of us ladies at the bingo table that her husband was fitting a new dildo rail in their bedroom. We all looked down and tried to compose ourselves.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 05:32 PM

strangely garbled expressions

Peter/dad can be prone to wrong words.

After his stroke and when I visited, he told me he felt quite refrigerated.

I believe his worse was saying in front of staff and customers there that the genitals on toast were quite excellent at a place in Weybourne.

But, that is the effects of an illness. Things vary, ranging from rattling off a Guardian Quick or making good progress with Everyman to (usually brought on by stress or tiredness) gobbledygook.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 05:38 PM

I'll consider this matter more closely during my upcoming staycation. In the meantime I'll enjoy a bit of peace and quietnessitudinousness.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 05:50 PM

We all looked down and tried to compose ourselves.

Thank goodness Beethoven is dead! Can you imagine what he would have come up with?

(It probably would have started "Dah-dah-dah duuum….")

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 05:52 PM

At least Raedwulf knew those are called portmanteau words. As words for other words go, that's a good one. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 08:46 PM

Beethoven is not dead and will never die.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 08:57 PM

He's not writing anything new these days, Steve, nor rolling over... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: frogprince
Date: 05 Jul 18 - 09:32 PM

Beethoven may not even be de-composing anymore.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Jul 18 - 06:48 AM

What work by Beethoven does Steve purr/form the best?
I can play only half of Beethoven's cello sonata. The other half requires a pianist.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Jul 18 - 07:42 AM

He wrote several.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: leeneia
Date: 06 Jul 18 - 05:34 PM

Hi, Wysiwig. They are not mash-ups, but we have coined new words to use at the computer.

bigify = maximize
smallify = minimize
X that = close the current operation

The DH used to say things like "Right double click on the Submit button in the lower central 1/3 of the left margin." I've cured him of that. Now he picks up a pencil and touches the desired feature with the eraser end.

Needless to say, this is for features which are hard to locate on a cluttered screen.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Jul 18 - 08:17 PM

#3 sonata
but its been awhile

What about you?

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Jul 18 - 08:52 PM

That's the Op 69 in A, my favourite. But there were late sonatas too.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 06 Jul 18 - 09:17 PM

I took a very elderly woman friend into our local Market Town to allow her to do some banking business (a year or so before she died)
Before we left to return home I decided to have a quick look in the local second hand bookshop, so I left her in the van for ten minutes.
When I returned I asked he if she was o.k. - she replied "I've been sitting here watching the schoolgirls walking past (it was lunchtime) - they all seem to have mobile homes stuck to their ears nowadays"
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: BobL
Date: 07 Jul 18 - 02:13 AM

Has Stanley Unwin ever been bettered?

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jos
Date: 07 Jul 18 - 03:22 AM

A three-year-old I know combined a steam roller with an ice-cream van (he was very enthusiastic about both) and came up with 'scream roller'.

(I always found Stanley Unwin overrated and annoying.)

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Jul 18 - 03:58 AM

My next-door neighbour in our last village was a Mrs Malaprop too. She always referred to 'sustifficates' for certificates (a very common Norfolk pronunciation), being 'bronical' and having 'various veins'.

She also tried a bit of Latin and often advised one to leave something 'in stitt-you', which I found the funniest of all.

If I giggled, she used to give me an old-fashioned look, and say, "Yew moit ha'bin ejuca'ed, but yew hent got a lot a' sense hev yew?" She was right - she was always getting me out of scrapes!

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jos
Date: 07 Jul 18 - 07:21 AM

It always amuses me when I hear mothers discussing their children's school and occasional days off, which they call 'insect days'.
(For those who do not have children, these are 'inset days'.)

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Jul 18 - 06:26 PM

leeneia - a friend of mine used "biggify" a few days ago! She had to use eye drops for conjunctivitis but the print on the pack was so small she couldn't read it so.....and I quote....."I took a pic and biggified it". Despite not having heard it before, her friends knew what she meant.

I like the idea that language is always changing and continually being refreshed. It's a living thing, after all, and shouldn't be fossilised.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Jul 18 - 09:12 AM

Or stuckified.

I've also used Biggify and Smallify for a long time. Now I'm getting Oldified and Creakreated.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: ripov
Date: 10 Jul 18 - 08:41 PM

my daughters friend suggested "idiocracy" for our currebt system of government.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 11 Jul 18 - 04:13 AM

Idiocracy apparently dates back as far as 1681 and, in its current meaning to 1878! Nothing new under the sun, rip... ;-)

Creakreated I like, wysi. Not least because of its clear similarity to "recreated"!

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Jul 18 - 05:15 AM

Yes, as in, "Today I enjoyed a little spontaneous creakreation, moving heavy furniture and arranging it to my liking."

Now if only I can get the local senior center to open a new Creak Center (pron 'crek'), to see if that draws in more people than a Rec (pron 'wreck') center!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 11 Jul 18 - 06:08 AM

I believe there's a Swedish company called Spotify, which offers something to do with 'streaming' (whatever that might be)

It makes me think of giving someone the chickenpox and making their nose run!

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 11 Jul 18 - 12:08 PM

Came across quite a few medical misnomers during my working life.
There was the man with the "ballistic" kidneys. (polycystic)
The "axillary nurse". (She specialises in armpits)
"Prostrate" glands, "crucial" ligaments, multiple cirrhosis (for those with more than one liver?) and tintinitus (caused by watching too many cartoons?)
And my daughter, then 4, describing the huge jellyfish washed up on the beach as the "one with the very long testicles".

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 11 Jul 18 - 12:15 PM

Pip liked creptipus knees

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 11 Jul 18 - 12:56 PM

At our local garden centre they had Chinese lanterns for sale (ornamental plants which have attractive papery orange fruit) The label said 'Physalis'. I went there years ago with my friend from Bingo, and sure as fate she read it out rather loudly as 'Syphalis'. You couldn't take her anywhere!

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jos
Date: 11 Jul 18 - 03:04 PM

And then there are the simple grammar 'hash-ups' -

A travel item in a local newspaper that said that 'Edinburgh never fails to disappoint',

and Julia Bradbury (I think - apologies to her, if it wasn't her) describing a walk where you would come across 'a view you can't fail to miss ...'.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 11 Jul 18 - 06:32 PM

Had to laugh at the portable toilets provided at strategic points in Stonehaven last weekend for the Folk Festival - each bearing the notice "Folk Festival overspill toilet" - just hope they didn't! Gentlemen, please lift the seat!

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 12 Jul 18 - 03:10 AM

Hahahahaha!!! Tattie, that's hilarious!

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: FreddyHeadey
Date: 14 Jul 18 - 04:20 AM

John Cushnie, panelist on the BBC's "gardeners question time"
...when talking about weedkillers would enthuse, in his strong Northern Irish accent, about glee-so-fate.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 14 Jul 18 - 04:36 AM

By which, for those not in the know, he meant glyphosate (gly-pho-sate). Nice one, Freddy! :)

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 14 Jul 18 - 04:48 AM

My late Mum-in-law used to take anti-inflammables for her arthritis and have an coal-effect electric fire as a vocal point in her living room.

Best adverts I saw were one for a bungalow with panasonic views across the Rossendale valley and one for a clipper to remove hair from nose and ars!

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 14 Jul 18 - 04:58 AM

Many moons ago there was a Delia Smith cookery programme in which she repeatedly referred to "basalmic vinegar."

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Gda Music
Date: 15 Jul 18 - 10:14 AM

I remember when our 4 or 5 year old granddaughter from New York
came to stay with us here in London for her holidays. My wife walked
her by the hand down the road on her first trip to see our nearby
shops. The very first thing that caught her eye was a large colourful
advertising billboard for a certain perfume showing the prominent
logo FCUK. My granddaughter turned to her to say "Nana they have that
spelt wrong". Posters certainly have changed but that same billboard site is still there to make me smile when I pass there.

GJ

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 15 Jul 18 - 03:47 PM

In the sixth form we had to study several French literary classics, and one was 'Eugénie Grandet' by Balzac.
We were extremely naughty and insisted on pronouncing his name as Ball Sack in order to make the teacher squirm. I can still see the poor chap standing there shouting "It's Balzac! Balzac I tell you!"
He got quite red in the face...

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Jul 18 - 04:32 PM

There was a Two Ronnies sketch in which mashed-up words were the point of the thing. I remember Ronnie Barker referring to Hilaire Belloc as Hilaro Bollock. Must look it up again...!

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 15 Jul 18 - 04:40 PM

And that's never mind fork handles, of course, Steve... :o

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 15 Jul 18 - 05:07 PM

I think it was the typewriter where the e was stuck, Stove:-)

It also mentioned Chancellor of the oxchequer, Donnis Holey.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Jul 18 - 05:16 AM

I made a silly 'mash-up' this morning. When we woke up, I asked my husband's opinion as to whether we needed a new mattress, as the present one is a bit saggy now.
Unfortunately, I got my French words mixed up.
There's matelot and matelas.
I informed the poor man that I prefer to lie on top of a nice firm sailor.
He's still giggling some hours later.
I'll never hear the last of this.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jos
Date: 19 Jul 18 - 08:39 AM

Now you've got me giggling.

A friend of mine once got her English muddled up and said she preferred nackered nail varnish [she meant nacré, i.e. pearl].

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 19 Jul 18 - 09:10 AM

Hee hee Jos! :)

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Jul 18 - 09:23 AM

Who remembers Hylda Baker?

Hylda's Malapropisms
"You haven't had the pleasure of me yet have you?."
"I'll inhale that remark"
"You'll become a couple of alcohofrolics"
"This is a fine hysterical building, kept up by the National Truss"
"I can say that without fear of contraception."
"I've had lessons in electricution, you know"
"What are you incinerating?"

Along with "It's ten past... Ooooh, must get a little hand for this watch" It was her dead pan misuse of language that I remember most.

That and her husband in "Nearest and Dearest", played by Jimmy Jewel, calling her a knock-kneed knackered old nose bag.

:D tG

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jos
Date: 19 Jul 18 - 09:38 AM

Years ago, if you rang Abbey National's Banking Service you would hear a recording saying what sounded like: 'You are through to Abbey National Spanking Service'.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 19 Jul 18 - 09:39 AM

A friend of mine once got her English muddled up and said she preferred nackered nail varnish [she meant nacré, i.e. pearl].

"Try our new Knacker lacquer, and add lustre to your cluster"

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 19 Jul 18 - 05:33 PM

As heard on BBC Radio Scotland tonight: "Hearts Football club have been fined for fielding an illegible player"!

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 20 Jul 18 - 12:07 PM

Well, that's not a mash-up, Tattie, just more bloody ignorant BBC reporters. They're still ahead of the competition, but yeeeeesh! How standards have fallen... :-/

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Jul 18 - 12:48 PM

I do like the Abbey National Spanking Service! How much do they charge?

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Raedwulf
Date: 20 Jul 18 - 01:27 PM

Hie thee to a nunnery, woman! That one with Sister Zoot, from the sound of it... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 21 Jul 18 - 12:13 PM

Hmm, Raedwulf, I would have said that substituting "an illegible" for "an ineligible" is mince and tatties (mashed!) Perhaps the newsreader's script was illegible, or maybe he should have gone to Specsavers?

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 21 Jul 18 - 12:27 PM

I really like Chinese food, and sometimes we get a takeaway for a treat.
I was quite amused when checking my bank statement to see a payment to 'Honk Konk'.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 22 Jul 18 - 03:36 PM

On holiday with my daughter and family: heard her telling our son we were "chillaxing" - mashup of chilling out and relaxing, I guess. Ok if you get the opporchancity.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: FreddyHeadey
Date: 25 Jul 18 - 02:18 PM

chillaxed 1999
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/chillax 

opporchancity 2007
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=opporchancity 

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 25 Jul 18 - 07:03 PM

'Physalis'. I went there years ago with my friend from Bingo, and sure as fate she read it out rather loudly as 'Syphalis'.

My wife did a temp job once as a demonstrator for a supermarket's food section. The demonstrators were asking the punters to sample physalis fruit. Despite intensive practice they were often asked if they'd like to try a phallus.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Jul 18 - 02:20 AM

Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaagh Jack! That's brilliant! Were there any takers????

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Jul 18 - 05:02 AM

I was a shelf-filler at Victor Value in the 1960s for a while. One day a little old lady, in a muffled, indistinguishable voice, asked me where the bog-roll was. I was a bit taken aback at this apparent vulgarity but I led her round to the toilet rolls aisle. She stood and stared at the shelf then turned sharply to me and said "No! BOVRIL!"

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Jul 18 - 07:01 AM

I had a Mrs Slocombe moment yesterday evening while sitting on my bench with my cat SmokeyPokey. Ruth-across-the-road bellowed out from her front garden, "There yew sit agin, a-playin' with yer pussy!"

I couldn't decide whether it was a perfectly innocent remark or a very rude one. Knowing Ruth, I suspect the latter.

Her husband Robin is just as bad. He recently called over, "Cor! Yew look a roit picture moi dahlin' a-sitting there!" I simpered appreciatively, only to have him call, "Oi meant yer cat not yew yer fewl!"
They're really funny the pair of them, I like them so much.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 26 Jul 18 - 05:08 PM

Hope you gave your little old lady the correct answer, Steve: "the Bovril's with the gravy, and the Marmite's with the jam"!

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Mr Red
Date: 28 Jul 18 - 12:07 PM

bank statement to see a payment to 'Honk Konk'.

good job it was not the Honk Konk and Shankhigh bonk.....

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 28 Jul 18 - 07:05 PM

Taboolshit - what you get when you follow a sponsored link.

Subject: RE: BS: Word Mash-ups?
From: Mr Red
Date: 29 Jul 18 - 03:57 AM

While in France I spotted "Café M@rmites"


I did not sample!