BS: Clever sayings #56

Subject: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Aug 18 - 05:58 PM

If you are not at the table, you are on the menu.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Aug 18 - 08:11 PM

In the old days, the complaints about the passing of the
golden age were much more sophisticated.
-----------------------------------------

"Aujourd'hui ce qui ne vaut pas la peine d'etre dit, on le chante"
from "Le Barbier de Seville" by Pierre- Augustin Caron de
Beaumarchais and translates as:

"Today if something is not worth saying, people sing it"

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Joe_F
Date: 05 Aug 18 - 09:22 PM

If you are not paying for it, you are the merchandise.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: BobL
Date: 06 Aug 18 - 01:42 AM

If you can remember the Sixties, you weren't there.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 06 Aug 18 - 02:57 AM

If I had a lower IQ I could have a decent argument with you.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 06 Aug 18 - 03:01 AM

From John Sheehan," The Dubliners were playing in a country pub in rural Ireland,during the break an old man came up to to me and said, " tell me son, do you read music or are you gifted ? "

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Joe_F
Date: 06 Aug 18 - 10:39 PM

Only a unique solution need have all the symmetries of the problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Aug 18 - 07:15 AM

“If you have to ask, you’ll never know. If you know, you need only ask.”

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 07 Aug 18 - 08:46 AM

"There's a sucker in every card game. If you can't see who it is, it's you."


"Never put off to tomorrow what you can do today. If you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow."


"Sex is good for one.
- but better for two."

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: gillymor
Date: 07 Aug 18 - 09:02 AM

It's no fun to drink alone,
until you've had two or three.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 07 Aug 18 - 09:16 AM

When I first tried may hand at singing my mother told me "If you were singing for shit you wouldn't get the smell of it"
She later told me I had improved a litle
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Aug 18 - 12:44 PM

If Shakespeare were alive today he'd be turning in his grave.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Aug 18 - 01:24 PM

If you're having problems finding a solution to a problem, the problem is probably you.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Joe_F
Date: 07 Aug 18 - 10:07 PM

Most of the evil in the world comes from nature, and most of the ugliness comes from art.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: DMcG
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 02:22 AM

"Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die."

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 03:06 AM

I could agree with your argument, but then we'd both be wrong.....

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: BobL
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 03:15 AM

The skin is mightier than the banana

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 03:30 AM

When I was a very green apprentice on the Liverpool docks a wonderful old tradesman, having tried to explain something to me half a dozen times said,

"You know, when you were born they must have thrown the best bit away"

Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 03:39 AM

"Illegitimes non carborundum" (don't let the bastards grind you down).

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 03:41 AM

Jim, a variant on that is "When you were circumcised they threw the wrong bit away."

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Thompson
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 06:32 AM

Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 06:41 AM

Antother of my mother's gems
When asked "what's for dinner" she regularly replied "Cow's cock and hairy bacon"
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 06:45 AM

To err is human
To arr is pirate

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 07:21 AM

A reasonable tweet from Trump is celebrated like a potty training milestone.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Thompson
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 07:42 AM

In our house dinner was hot tongue and cold shoulder.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 07:55 AM

I was in a bar in Liverpool once when a customer reached for his pint and spilled half of it fown his shirt
Quick as a flash, the barman said, "What do you want to do with that, drink it or wear it"
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Thompson
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 08:00 AM

I'm fond of the American shout when people stand up in front of them at a concert or game: "Your ass ain't glass".

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: wysiwyg
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 08:24 AM

He's so crooked, if he swallowed a nail he'd shit a corkscrew.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: robomatic
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 07:54 PM

Something I heard on the radio the first time I was driving into Anchorage: "When you were born, Jim, they threw away the baby and kept the afterbirth!"!

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Aug 18 - 10:18 PM

Strategy: A long-range plan whose merit cannot be evaluated
until sometime after those creating it have left the organization.

---------------------

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

------------------------------

"There are millions longing for eternity who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon"

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Thompson
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 04:08 AM

They broke the mould before they made him.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 04:43 AM

"Blair and Brown are two cheeks of the same arse" (George Galloway)

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 04:46 AM

I was asked by a worrkmate in Liverpool once when I wasn't feeling too well "Are you ok - you're the colour of boiled shite?"
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 08:55 AM

There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 01:34 PM

Nah, there are actually only three kinds of people. Those who are good at arithmetic and those who aren't.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Aug 18 - 03:28 PM

There are only two kinds of people.... those who divide people into 2 categories and those who don't.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: BobL
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 02:30 AM

There are two kinds of drivers: Idiots (those who drive slower than you) and assholes (those who drive faster than you).

There are two kinds of lawyers, those who know the law and those who know the judge.

There are two rules to success: 1) never tell everything you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Thompson
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 06:18 AM

The two kinds of drivers would also apply (in some drivers' minds) to the two kinds of cyclists: those who "hold up the traffic" and those who "race along country roads, the selfish gits".

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Joe_F
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 09:13 PM

Thompson 08:00: In my family that was "You may be a pane, but I can't see through you.".

When I recited a rude limerick to a friend of mine, he said "Do you eat with that mouth?".

Failure of imagination is a weak form of courage and a strong form of cowardice.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Aug 18 - 09:43 PM

What this country needs is more men with real two-fisted guts on their shoulders.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 05:20 AM

When my brother first moved to New Zealand, decades ago in those politically-incorrect times, he told me over the phone that "this is a country where the men are men, and so are half the women..."

(He's still there!)

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: KarenH
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 09:02 AM

"If wit was shit" sometimes as "If wit was shit we'd need a shovel"

Used by my mother on a 'broad' day as a sarcastic put-down for somebody acting like a smart-arse. Must have been me, come to think of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 11:23 AM

I thought it was "if wit was shit, you'd be constipated".

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 12:03 PM

If shit were wit I'd be glad you're so full of it. As it is though....

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Gutcher
Date: 11 Aug 18 - 02:27 PM

As my old mother was wont to say:--"They would skin a louse for its tallow"
Now wild horses would not draw out of me who the "They" were she was referring to.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 08:24 AM

"What's up wi' thee? Tha's got a face as long as a gas man's mac..."

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Joe_F
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 06:22 PM

The universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 12 Aug 18 - 06:30 PM

There are only two ways to deal with women ….. and neither of them works

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: kendall
Date: 13 Aug 18 - 08:11 PM

I wouldn't call him a liar, but if he wants his dog to come, he has to get someone ese to call it.

Subject: RE: BS: Clever sayings #56
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 13 Aug 18 - 08:56 PM

From one of my university mates in the early seventies, not directed at me, I hasten to add!

"You're all right, pal, but I don't like you because your shit stinks. Nothing personal, you understand..."