BS: Well, I'll be buttered!

Subject: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 03:29 AM

I've decided to let my spell checker choose my worms.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Senoufou
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 03:35 AM

Good Ikea Dave.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Will Fly
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 03:47 AM

You must have watched "Last Mango in Doris".

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Senoufou
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 04:01 AM

I've just had a buggered crumpet...

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 04:08 AM

I'm about to make a fell English breakaway.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 04:38 AM

I get me mucking furds wuddled.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 04:46 AM

I tried a spoonerism but my chill spectre didn't like it.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 07:04 AM

I had a cluttered bumpit at breakfast.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 07:23 AM

cupid stunt [ Kenny Everet ]

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 07:31 AM

This threat is cloned

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: DMcG
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 07:35 AM

I was listening a few days ago to a comedian who has dyslexia. He was saying his iPhone used to correct all his text but the learning logic means it doesn't know any more and now offers wrong spellings in preference to correct ones - and most of the time he didnt know either....

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 10:39 AM

There's an experiment I keep intending to try: write an essay and every time MS Word offers a suggestion, accept it. I think the results would be your thread on a much larger level.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 11:13 AM

Go for it, Stilly! Posy a lino here please :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 12:18 PM

Be grammarlarily correct

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 12:50 PM

I've just been in the bathroom listening to Amazon Alexa steaming The Velvet Underpants ...

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 01:42 PM

I used to rile the piccalilli lime in the London underdog.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 03:02 PM

Whale oil beef hooked.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 04:00 PM

The guy who invented predictive text died yesterday. His funfair will be held next monkey.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Sep 18 - 04:32 PM

That's rubber! It's not till fried egg.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 04:35 AM

I apologise if my last remark came across as a personnel attic.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 05:25 AM

Germs and excisions apply.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: DMcG
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 05:57 AM

A genuine one: I was asked to go for a medical: an aortic examination.

Not, as my wife told me, an erotic examination

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 06:04 AM

Maybe the latter would have been more fun :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 07:30 AM

I once asked a barmaid for a pint of breast and a bown ale, she didn't notice my slip.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 08:04 AM

I've actually told several people that I bark with Banclays.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 08:36 AM

Pint of Titbread Wankard please.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 10:26 AM

A double diode works wonders.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 10:56 AM

Anyway, Stove. I thought you were a wind man, not a beer drinker.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: DMcG
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 12:18 PM

At a bar which apparently sells modem cocktails.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 12:22 PM

I'm a well-educative scintist frist and fourmost who learned a lotta kids scince in his time I'll let you know!

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: leeneia
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 01:12 PM

I saw a video where a house had a diagonal post beam. Somebody commented on it, and his software changed it to diagnostic port team. The guy didn't even notice. Let me juxtapose those:

diagonal post beam
diagnostic port team

Whatever. I wonder what a post beam would be, anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Sep 18 - 08:52 PM

All *I* have is a dumb phone, so lexdistic posts are not my problem. On my old, antique Win7 desktop machine, I use TinySpell and 'almost' never have a smelling problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Sep 18 - 04:26 AM

Nice one Ball :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Sep 18 - 04:47 AM

Stop calling the poor chap "One-ball!"

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Sep 18 - 06:12 AM

OK.

Nice one Bull.

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 25 Sep 18 - 03:09 PM

"Bing Crosby sentenced to 3 to 10 years in prison for sexual assault conviction"

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Sep 18 - 04:37 PM

Ahhhhhh. Just seen the Bill Cosby reference in another thread. Thought you had gone mad pulpfolddocker.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: frogprince
Date: 25 Sep 18 - 04:49 PM

They should sentence Bing too; he's really rotten.

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 25 Sep 18 - 04:54 PM

Bing is really Johnny Rotten???

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 27 Sep 18 - 04:17 PM

Si leased wi masel!
Menaged to trun aff inappropriate suppositories frae Vaginamidwifery.
Keep reporting pogroms I reely diinae wont on our Tito bocs.
Fund 40 unwonted pogroms there, all carp, all sins dealeated.
If u hav the saem porblem, goo tae HELP!! Seatings, Recodings, then trun ffo Suppositories!

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Sep 18 - 05:33 PM

A Scottish spill chucker! Wonder what that Rabbi Burns would have made of it :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Well, I'll be buttered!
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 27 Sep 18 - 06:32 PM

The Jabocites would hae lent ye onything, e'en their ears - or their een, if they werenae tae Kiccikrankled tae dae it!