BS: Funny Typos

Subject: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 12:58 PM

I bet many people on here have either made a hilarious typo or received one. Auto-correct phones make them much more common.
Here's one, printed on the Christmas hymn sheet for the village carol service:-

"Thus spake the seraph and forthwith
Appeared a shining thong..."

I expect that cheered up the shepherds no end.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 01:10 PM

I used to have a job at an antiquarian bookshop in Boston, most of which consisted of typing transcripts of historical documents (back in the bad old days of - for me, as a junior employee - manual typewriters and carbon copies, so no quick fixes). Tied for first place as my personal best are:

The Dike of Norfolk (Duke)

Westmonster (take a wild guess)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 01:49 PM

My eight year-old pupils were always putting howlers in their written work.
One little girl, in a description of 'A Walk In The Countryside' wrote:-
"The fields were humming with incest."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 01:50 PM

I love 'The Dike of Norfolk' Bonnie! Hee hee!

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:16 PM

Manchester Evening News Football Pink, circa 1958: "...and Charlton got the ball at the edge of the area and shit hard into the back of the net."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:19 PM

I kept a clip for years advertising a device that removed unwanted hair from nose and ars. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jos
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:23 PM

Texts produced from scans can be fun. I was looking for information about an artist named Cockburn, and found an article online in which Cockburn was written as Cockbum throughout.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:24 PM

Radcliffe Times, some time in the 60s, a man was convicted, following a shunt, of driving without due car.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:29 PM

I made my Year 7 class copy down the title of the work from the blackboard where I'd chalked it. I hadn't noticed the little gash in the blackboard's fabric. When I took in the work to mark it I found that every single kid in that class of thirty had written the title ENER/GY.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 03:02 PM

In an estate agency brochure for a house we went to check out when we were house-hunting a good few years ago - "The master bedroom has the benefit of an en-shite shower".

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 03:04 PM

Hahahahahaaaaaagh! These are so funny!

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 03:06 PM

I saw a bungalow advertised in the Rosendale valley. With Panasonic views :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: frogprince
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 03:24 PM

Once, long ago, a friend was a seminarian and was serving an internship pastorate in a small church in Wisconsin. The church placed an announcement in the local paper for a pot luck dinner. They weren't entirely happy when the paper got one letter wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Tangledwood
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 06:12 PM

A PNG newspaper regularly ran an advert for a non-stick frypan that was "turflawn coated". Somehow I don't believe that was an accidental typo however.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Joe_F
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 06:31 PM

There is folklore in England to the effect that during Victoria's reign the Manchester Guardian reported "Her Majesty cut the ribbon and passed over the bridge" with i for the second a. If that actually happened, it must take the prize for the amount of embarrassment caused by a typo, and it also deserves high marks for bizarreness.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: keberoxu
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 07:18 PM

Don't know if the New Yorker magazine does this still.
But back in the day,
they would scare up typos and bloopers, short ones,
and run them, adding brief wry commentary.

I have never forgotten:

Marlon Brando, the Tango-dancing Godfather, blah blah blah
and the house he lived in,
'with a breathtaking view of Beverly Sills.'
Comment:
'Gee, and we thought
Marlon had kind of quieted down.'

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 08:36 PM

Not a typo but a calligraphy howler: A friend of mine, a talented musician who’s also good at ornate lettering, was making his own poster for an upcoming solo concert. It grandly proclaimed

LUTE RECITAL

followed by the usual info concerning date, time, venue etc. The problem?

He left the “I” out of Recital.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 09:35 PM

Udderly smooth skin lotion

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 18 - 11:07 PM

I saw an ad offering a crockpot for "2 people/2 pound roast".

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 06 Oct 18 - 05:39 AM

As i have trouble hearing some voices on tv I use subtitles a lot: they are a constant source of amusement, as they depend on automanted voice to text a lot. I can't recall a particular one but commend them to anyone who enjoys this sort of thing.
RtS
(Modesty forbids mentioning this year's guidebook best: "The beach has trees growing our of its backside" and my gleanings from Greek menus that appear in my annual BS Postcards...)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 06 Oct 18 - 09:37 AM

Ah, subtitles are always causing hilarity Roger.
I saw this one on the Good Housekeeping website:-

(Pig man standing in a barn with several piglets around his feet)

"They'll nibble anything, even our willies!"

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: DMcG
Date: 06 Oct 18 - 10:32 AM

Subtitles: one I remember on a financial report said:

The government has released its latest boring figures...

I think they meant 'borrowing', but maybe not.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Oct 18 - 07:22 PM

I was over at a serious thread
trying to type "investigation"
and it came out
"infestigation." Not the spellchecker, just lil ol' me.
I kind of like that one,
"infestigation."
Especially since it pertained to Trump's Kavanaugh.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Oct 18 - 04:17 PM

Not exactly the same type of typo, but close caption TV can give you some jaw-dropping stuff when it's being done on autopilot...

I was watching a program on the Nazi doctor, Joseph Mengele,... in about 15 minutes the poor, confused program guessed at the word "Mengele" maybe 20-30 times and never did get it right. A few attempts were not even close to being words..in German or any other language.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 07 Oct 18 - 04:39 PM

They mangled Mengele! ;-)

Good to see you back, Bill.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Oct 18 - 06:53 PM

I found two typos online:

Someone on the autism spectrum said to have Asparagus Syndrome

And people seeking old school chums using Fiends Reunited.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Acorn4
Date: 08 Oct 18 - 04:10 AM

In the daily notices of a school I worked at:-

"A nice old lay in the village would like a couple of students to help with her garden."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 08 Oct 18 - 07:32 AM

Hahaha Acorn! She'd be known here as 'The Village Bicycle'!

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Oct 18 - 12:12 PM

Obituary
Beloved Cunt Helen Crabtree is survived by her loving niece and nephew.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Joe_F
Date: 08 Oct 18 - 09:20 PM

Not exactly funny, but as a copyeditor I once saved the readers of a biology journal from seeing "viral counts" without the o in an article on modeling the spread of AIDS.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Peter the Squeezer
Date: 09 Oct 18 - 03:16 AM

Back in the 1980's, the Guardian (UK) was so renowned for typo's that it was known as the Grauniad. I recall a report from around 1986, dealing with a footballer from Portsmouth(?) who was GOALED for drugs offences.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: BobL
Date: 09 Oct 18 - 03:47 AM

Likewise, on the Political Leanings thread, our Mr. Carroll had an oops with what should have been "cultural"

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Tiger
Date: 09 Oct 18 - 09:14 AM

Police log in our local paper mentions someone arrested for "driving unreasonably fat"

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: j0_77
Date: 09 Oct 18 - 01:48 PM

Wag writes on keep fit ad ..

Planet Fatness...

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jos
Date: 09 Oct 18 - 03:45 PM

Here's one from nearly a decade ago from 'About.com: London Travel':

"2009 is the 500 year anniversary of King Henry VIII's accession to the throne. He was proclaimed king on 22 April 1509 and crowned king on 24 June 2009 so celebrations are going on throughout the year."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 09 Oct 18 - 04:06 PM

Am I the only one to wonder why there has grown up, in recent times, the strange practice of using the rather clumsy "X - year anniversary" instead of "Xth anniversary"?

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jos
Date: 09 Oct 18 - 04:42 PM

I don't like it either, Backwoodsman - it is especially pointless as the word 'anniversary' refers to the turning years.
Nor do I like, 'at age X' instead of 'at the age of ...', which sounds as if the speaker is recounting the results of an experiment involving subjects [people] at different ages.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Mr Red
Date: 11 Oct 18 - 03:47 AM

en-shite shower that would be the bidet then?

I still have the newspaper clip from 35 years ago. A job's vacant ad. "Worcester Screw Specialists.................. contact R W Makepiece"

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 11 Oct 18 - 04:17 AM

Tiger, I wonder if I'm guilty of 'driving unreasonably fat'?

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Oct 18 - 04:37 PM

re: My post above about closed captions and Joseph Mengele

Here are a few of the odd attempts by the low-budget auto-caption program.

Megalith
Indiana
Mandela
MyBelly
My Gala
My Daily
Mingella
My gathers
Mungle
Men gather...

I quit copying about then.... the program was an hour, and they used his name every couple of minutes.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 11 Oct 18 - 07:15 PM

I've given it before but telling someone on ICQ that I had a hard dick (intended word being disc) problem was not that clever.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Senoufou
Date: 12 Oct 18 - 04:14 AM

The Los Angeles Times printed an article about Ralph Lamb, the 'cowboy sheriff' of Las Vegas, stating '...butt cracks appeared in his public persona...'

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 14 Oct 18 - 03:20 AM

"...telling someone on ICQ that I had a hard dick (intended word being disc) problem was not that clever."

I wouldn't regard that as a problem. Now, the reverse I would regard as a problem! ????

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 14 Oct 18 - 03:20 AM

"...telling someone on ICQ that I had a hard dick (intended word being disc) problem was not that clever."

I wouldn't regard that as a problem. Now, the reverse I would regard as a problem! ????

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 14 Oct 18 - 03:21 AM

Don't know how the double-post happened there - I only hit the 'Go' button once!

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: HuwG
Date: 16 Oct 18 - 07:50 AM

From a few years ago:

A Leicester City player faces a four-match suspension after being sent off for a second booable offence ...

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Oct 18 - 03:57 PM

A newspaper clipping years ago about Bryan Bowers stated "Bryan Bowers, renowned master of the Idle harp will appear at..."



(yes, was supposed to be autoharp)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 16 Oct 18 - 04:57 PM

"Don't know how the double-post happened there - I only hit the 'Go' button once!"

You must be happy though, John, like a dog with two dicks, in fact...:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 17 Oct 18 - 12:11 AM

Ha! Not sure Steve, I think I've been hit by Jim-Syndrome! (Sorry Jim, couldn't resist!).

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos
From: Bruce from Bathurst
Date: 19 Oct 18 - 02:31 AM

Our local newspaper here in rural Australia throws up some fine typos.

A few years ago it announced the arrival of the "Earl and C***ess Bathurst" who were here from England to visit our town (which takes its name from some long gone ancestor of the present Earl). Main headline, front page, complete with photo! Unsurprisingly, the Countess didn't stay in town for very long.

Marginally less offensive was a more recent announcement that "Church Street will be temporarily closed ... to allow the conduct of Beatification Work to continue". (Yes, there were capital letters.) Church Street runs alongside the Anglican Cathedral, so you can be sure there ain't no "Beatification" going on there.

Sadly, the slow demise of serious print media in this country claimed sub-editors among its earliest casualties.