BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....

Subject: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Dec 99 - 07:08 PM

As observed in the abode of Squeaks this afternoon at about 5.00pm.

Regular viewers may remember me mentioning a certain feline of my acquaintance. The stupid, smelly one.

Well he outdid himself today. The infamous Christmas pudding only flamed for about 15 mins total, but the cat, not wanting to be left out, caught his arse alight on a candle.... a candle that has been on that table and lit every night for a month..... Do not fear, cat is too stupid to feel pain, and fur is plenty long enough for him to have got away with nothing more than a singed coat and a funny taste in his mouth, but we have added a new phrase to those usually heard at this time of year - - - bloody hell, the cat's on fire!

Seems to have been a day of it - the advent wreath caught light at service this morning, and we successfully crisped a holly twig before the pudding.....

Have a happy, and flame free Boxing Day - I want a fire extinguisher for my next birthday......

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 25 Dec 99 - 07:11 PM

Merry Christmas, Liz- it really gives a new meaning to the ling, "may your days be merry and bright" doesn't it? Yours has been just a bit too bright!

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Dec 99 - 07:19 PM

Cats nuts roasting on an open fire,
Whiskers singeing into curls......

Any advance???

And it was SELF INFLICTED OKAY!!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Micca
Date: 25 Dec 99 - 07:32 PM

Liz I still haven't got rid of the smell of burnt fur, The Christmas pud tho' was a classic,
Tiger,tiger burning bright
Shit the bloody cats alight
what mysterius hand or eye
could figure this stupidity

Burning fur perfumes the air
Feline arse done medium rare
Bast's bright grin is bright and clear
Kerumin has burned his rear,
Micca.

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Dec 99 - 07:35 PM

OOh you are p***ed aren't you!!! Good one. But Ceramin is spelt Ceramin, it's latin, for earwax. Perhaps he thought he was a wax candle.....

I'm advising denizens of East London to avoid kebabs for a few days.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: sophocleese
Date: 25 Dec 99 - 10:24 PM

So Liz, was Ceramin what you discovered when you performed a feline lobotomy? We once had a cheerful little kitten who was so stupid we named it Eric-the-half-a-cat. Other cats would go mad eating liver and bacon; Eric would proudly stand guard over a pile of chopped onion. But he was a dear soul and died far too young. We've had cats in bath tubs, cats stuck up trees, and cats spending hours playing with a dead squirrel (we were bored, we watched and provided commentary, no television you know, a great stimulus to the intellect) but as far as I know we never had a cat playing moth.

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Barbara
Date: 25 Dec 99 - 11:47 PM

Ah, yes, I've lived thru the Christmas tree being felled by the kittens, and my black klutz-cat extraordinaire recently set fire to her tail by waving it thru a candle. I don't think she noticed, but I did. It does take a while to be rid of the smell, doesn't it LTS?
And how many of us have gone to the kitchen to retreive the cooling meat and found it on the floor in the grip of the pet? (And then pitched pet, cursed quietly patched meat and returned to the guests bearing the turkey/ham/roast as if nothing had happened?)
I have.
Blessings,
Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Musicman
Date: 26 Dec 99 - 03:56 AM

..... of course the classic scene is from "A Christmas Story" when the hounds from next door get the turkey on Christmas day, and the family ends up going our for Chinese turkey (roast duck)... Great movie if you havn't seen it .... a season must around our house....

funniest thing in our house with the cat, she would have a round about way of joining my wife and i on the couch and finally settling in one lap or the other.... One day, coming in for the lap, the cat put a paw in my wife's tea cup.... should have seen her jump!!! Kept shaking a paw for some reason too..... :) Don't know if it made any difference and made her more careful or not... they tend to be slow learners sometimes.....

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 26 Dec 99 - 04:22 AM

Thinking of cats and learning, one day during a power cut, I decided to make a cup of tea using my primus stove. When I had boiled the water and put the stove out, Tetley (the cat) went up to the stove and touched his nose on part of the burner and sort of shot back quite startled. Having recovered from the shock he went back to the sotve again and I thought "surely he won't do the same again" but to my amazement he did with the same result. I can't quite remember but I'm pretty sure that he was also the one who jumped onto the wood burning stove and did a sort of war dance. Poor Tetley didn't have much luck and didn't live long. We can never be sure but we think he died of rat poison. We ended up with one very sick cat (who recovered but was killed by a car a few years later) and one dead one and somebody a bit further down the road lost one and we found out that somebody had been using poison to try an rid a property that was open of rats before doing it up...

On the food score, I have known cats that even seem to be able to find meat when it was sealed in plastic. Oedipus, the one that got killed by the car, was terrible for that. My mother did not dare leave the shopping in carrier bags for even a minute because he would be in there.

Food wise, Starboard was the most unusual because he had a liking for buns especially sultana buns. The worst of that one was that he wouldn't content himself with one but would take the tops of the whole lot in a baking tray if he got the oppertunity.

Having seen somebody mention guarding onions and thinking vegetables, we once had a sheepdog who would eat potatoe peelings etc. not if you gave them to her but if the hens were given them she would attempt to scoff the lot.

Jon

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Micca
Date: 26 Dec 99 - 05:49 AM

Jon, how on earth did you acquire 2 cats called Oedipus ( a Cornish Rex?) and Tetley? Tetleys make Tea and beer. sounds splendid tho.' There is a whole exotica in cat nameing isn't there, Afriends Senior cat is calle Tenzing after the Sherpa because of his tendency to climb everything, she also had two kittens that raced round the room at high speed on the fllor and a head height on the bookcases and she called them Pi and Mu after the high energy fast moving Mesons in Atomic Physics, Mind you only Spaw would have a Rex called Moggy, after the episode detailed above, Spaw, I think Ceramin is challenging yours for the title "2 sandwichs short of a picnic" Micca

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Chet W.
Date: 26 Dec 99 - 06:28 PM

By all means, if the cat catches fire, put it out!

Chet

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: MarkS
Date: 26 Dec 99 - 08:13 PM

Please do not do it again next year, or we will start an brand new Mudcat holiday tradition, Can't you just see:

The family is gathered The home is decorated The holiday lights are lit The dinner is on the table Everyone is feeling cheerful And just when evening settles and all is quiet, the youngest child in the gathering ignites the cat. Oh,the nostalgia!

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Dec 99 - 08:30 PM

I dunno Micca.....Moggy is really stupid. The den is very warm from the fireplace and he was lying on the TV about an hour ago with that scrawny, skeletal looking Cornish Rex body draped all over it....when he fell off! Two giant ears and a pair of bugged eyes emerged over top of the VCR, but he didn't come out. I think he believes he was attacked by some mysterious force since he's still back there.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Dec 99 - 02:44 AM

Bet I'm the only one to make a cat go 'woof'!

Glad to hear mine isn't the only stupid mog in the world!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: TerriM
Date: 30 Dec 99 - 02:14 PM

I can certainly attest to that! Mine has developed a new preoccupation ( having lost interest in climbing the xmas tree) involving a tall bubble lamp and some artificial fish therein. The result is we have had to tie the lamp to the shelf as 10 litres of distilled water across my sitting room carpet would amuse me not at all( although it might be funny to watch the cats face as he is swept along in the deluge!)

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Wesley S
Date: 30 Dec 99 - 04:27 PM

Could it be that we misheard Bob Marley so many years ago? Maybe he wasn't singing "Catch a Fire " but:

"Cat's a-fire - The tail is burning"

Hmmmmm....

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: JenEllen
Date: 30 Dec 99 - 05:22 PM

Cecil, this year has developed his usual holiday tradition of chronic diarrhea. The holidays seem to bring about bowel eruptions that make the rafters ring. If he got near a candle, I'm sure all that would be left of my abode is a smouldering crater. Nomi, has rekindled his hatred of my brother, and has taken to relieving himself just outside Brian's window. He (the cat) is still suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder from the year. This included getting run through the motor of a '65 Chevy, a wild ride from a hungry barn owl, and getting pegged in the behind with a dart. He has flashbacks, flashforwards, and flashsideways. But all is put aside in favor of feline hatred of Brian. Sully is fitting in nicely, but is still quite the kitten. And we will probably awaken to a tinsel covered Mog every morning until we take the blasted tree down.

Have yourself a Merry little Christmas/ Let the fur fall where it may/ Hope the neighbors aren't calling the SPCA/

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: JenEllen
Date: 01 Jan 00 - 11:34 PM

Oh Liz, it's a keeper...Had the usual new year bash, bonfire and all. Cecil the octagenarian (18 in human years) decided to claw his way out of the cat box to be a part of the festivities. All the cats took their rightful places around the fire with the rest of the tribe, except Cece was just a little too close. A few hours in, and all of the sudden, the smell of burning hair starts to raise everyone from their stupor. There sits Cecil, oh he of the dribbley bowels, a foot or so from the flames, and his coat is smouldering. The entire coat.

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 02:24 AM

Cat's nuts roasting on an open fire,
Kittens crisping at the toes.....

Seems that 2000 is to be the year of the burning cat.....

Wonder what the horoscope readers will make of that!

LTS, whose cat has a distinct one sided look and a dining room that still stinks of toasted fur.....

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: emily rain
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 05:37 PM

hahahahahaha! oh, liz, stop... it hurts...!

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: JenEllen
Date: 02 Jan 00 - 05:40 PM

For all the animal rights folks, Cecil is FINE. A few beans short of chili, but he'll live to stink the place up again/still. Elle

Subject: RE: BS: Tyger, tyger burning bright.....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Jan 00 - 04:18 AM

Ditto for Ceramin, although he went out on Wed 29th and came back with a limp and covered in mud. He has a running battle with a big tabby bastard from down the road, and we keep score by the amount of flea collars that are lost. So far it is about 3-1 to the tabby bastard...... Ceri has taken to sitting in the dining room window and staring out, with a martyred look, as if to say - I'd be out there fighting you now, but my human has shut me in this room..... It's true, I've seen him do it, when the dining room door has been wide open!

He came into the sitting room last night, so he must be feeling better, he usually stays outside, or in the kitchen - and yes, he has put his tail over the lit gas hob more than once, I think he must like the smell.....

LTS