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Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake

Severn 17 Dec 18 - 10:58 PM
GUEST,keberoxu 17 Dec 18 - 11:09 PM
Senoufou 18 Dec 18 - 04:36 AM
Roger the Skiffler 18 Dec 18 - 05:01 AM
Senoufou 18 Dec 18 - 05:57 AM
Severn 18 Dec 18 - 11:23 AM
GUEST,Interested visitor 18 Dec 18 - 11:42 AM
leeneia 18 Dec 18 - 01:27 PM
Jos 18 Dec 18 - 01:59 PM
JennieG 18 Dec 18 - 02:42 PM
Donuel 18 Dec 18 - 04:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Dec 18 - 06:53 PM
Rapparee 18 Dec 18 - 09:35 PM
Donuel 19 Dec 18 - 04:59 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 18 - 05:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Dec 18 - 05:36 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 18 - 08:21 PM
Donuel 19 Dec 18 - 09:09 PM
Jos 20 Dec 18 - 03:03 AM
Senoufou 20 Dec 18 - 05:00 AM
Tattie Bogle 20 Dec 18 - 10:45 AM
Jos 20 Dec 18 - 10:52 AM
Jos 20 Dec 18 - 10:53 AM
Senoufou 20 Dec 18 - 10:56 AM
Jos 20 Dec 18 - 11:50 AM
Tattie Bogle 20 Dec 18 - 07:04 PM
Rapparee 20 Dec 18 - 08:48 PM
Senoufou 21 Dec 18 - 04:30 AM
Tattie Bogle 21 Dec 18 - 05:42 AM
Senoufou 21 Dec 18 - 06:00 AM
MMario 21 Dec 18 - 07:45 AM
Senoufou 21 Dec 18 - 08:01 AM
Donuel 21 Dec 18 - 09:44 AM
Dave the Gnome 21 Dec 18 - 09:52 AM
Sandra in Sydney 21 Dec 18 - 09:55 AM
Donuel 21 Dec 18 - 07:14 PM
MMario 21 Dec 18 - 07:31 PM
Tattie Bogle 21 Dec 18 - 08:44 PM
JennieG 22 Dec 18 - 02:59 AM
Senoufou 22 Dec 18 - 04:19 AM
Dave the Gnome 22 Dec 18 - 11:45 AM
Dave the Gnome 22 Dec 18 - 12:08 PM
Senoufou 22 Dec 18 - 01:30 PM
Tattie Bogle 22 Dec 18 - 03:15 PM
keberoxu 22 Dec 18 - 03:44 PM
JennieG 22 Dec 18 - 06:58 PM
Rapparee 22 Dec 18 - 10:04 PM
Senoufou 23 Dec 18 - 04:03 AM
Dave the Gnome 23 Dec 18 - 10:28 AM
Jos 23 Dec 18 - 12:20 PM
Tattie Bogle 23 Dec 18 - 12:26 PM
Senoufou 23 Dec 18 - 12:57 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 23 Dec 18 - 08:59 PM
Senoufou 24 Dec 18 - 05:48 AM
Charmion 24 Dec 18 - 11:09 AM
Donuel 24 Dec 18 - 05:25 PM
Senoufou 24 Dec 18 - 06:21 PM
keberoxu 24 Dec 18 - 09:51 PM
GUEST, Chongo Chimp 25 Dec 18 - 01:02 AM
keberoxu 25 Dec 18 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 25 Dec 18 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 26 Dec 18 - 01:44 PM
Senoufou 26 Dec 18 - 01:56 PM
JennieG 26 Dec 18 - 02:29 PM
Mrrzy 27 Dec 18 - 11:39 AM
Dave the Gnome 27 Dec 18 - 02:33 PM
Senoufou 27 Dec 18 - 02:46 PM
Donuel 27 Dec 18 - 03:07 PM
Donuel 27 Dec 18 - 03:16 PM
Dave the Gnome 27 Dec 18 - 04:42 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 18 - 06:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Dec 18 - 07:50 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 18 - 09:03 PM
Senoufou 28 Dec 18 - 04:11 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 18 - 11:31 AM
Stilly River Sage 29 Dec 18 - 11:33 AM
Senoufou 29 Dec 18 - 12:16 PM
Stilly River Sage 29 Dec 18 - 02:58 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 18 - 03:37 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 Dec 18 - 12:23 AM
Dave the Gnome 31 Dec 18 - 04:54 AM
GUEST,Sandra in Sydney to lazy to re-set her cooki 31 Dec 18 - 05:29 AM
Amergin 31 Dec 18 - 07:34 AM
bbc 31 Dec 18 - 08:35 AM
GUEST 31 Dec 18 - 01:03 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 18 - 02:55 PM
Rapparee 31 Dec 18 - 03:34 PM
GUEST, Giant Squid 31 Dec 18 - 07:06 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 31 Dec 18 - 08:06 PM
GUEST,keberoxu 31 Dec 18 - 08:58 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 Dec 18 - 09:59 PM
wysiwyg 31 Dec 18 - 11:03 PM
Stilly River Sage 31 Dec 18 - 11:19 PM
Mrrzy 01 Jan 19 - 09:07 AM
Severn 01 Jan 19 - 07:01 PM
GUEST,The Galactic Overlord 02 Jan 19 - 09:28 AM
Senoufou 02 Jan 19 - 09:52 AM
Stilly River Sage 02 Jan 19 - 11:31 PM
Tattie Bogle 04 Jan 19 - 10:30 AM
Senoufou 04 Jan 19 - 12:14 PM
Tattie Bogle 04 Jan 19 - 02:21 PM
keberoxu 06 Jan 19 - 02:06 PM
JennieG 07 Jan 19 - 05:58 AM
hsempl 07 Jan 19 - 08:44 AM
Stilly River Sage 07 Jan 19 - 11:02 AM
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Subject: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Severn
Date: 17 Dec 18 - 10:58 PM

After having recovered from a fractured forearm, Severn, finally able to drive again and thinking he's. Showing up late, pulls up in his junker to the Tavern, which seems empty. After talking to Les, the Lawn Moor, who was appointed caretaker last year and Semi Moro, the hunchback in the Bell Tower, our year round residents, there hasn't been a sign of anyone, and he hasn't seen a thread on the subject, he drives back home and goes to sleep.......


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: GUEST,keberoxu
Date: 17 Dec 18 - 11:09 PM

... but what happened to the giant wombat and the dodo bird?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 04:36 AM

Is the Jelly (Jello) Pit still there?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 05:01 AM

...i'm NOT cleaning out the jello pit this year, the state you guys left it in...
RtS


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 05:57 AM

A large truck arrives and two men unload a very comfy sofa. It's installed near the fire in the Tavern. Plump old lady enters, lounges on the said sofa, beams benignly and looks around her in great anticipation...

In the distance, two very decrepit and elderly Siamese cats can be seen approaching along the path.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Severn
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 11:23 AM

I didn't even bother to go inside when I was there, because there was no sign of either Mmario or the alligator, I couldn't have even gotten a cup of coffee.

I did check the mail, and there was a Christmas card from DeFrosty the retired snowman all the way from Antarctica, where he's chillin' out for the holidays with his "Rose Of Snowman's Land", wishing all of us the best. Freeze a jolly good fellow!

The walls had been repaired or replaced as needed from last year, and I'm curious as to where any new magic doors might lead to......


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: GUEST,Interested visitor
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 11:42 AM

Several cats and ducks dosing in the exposed ceiling joists rouse and start watching the activity below. A sturdy rope suspended from an eyebolt in the rafters sways with the breeze from the door. In past years a tree swung from this rope.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: leeneia
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 01:27 PM

In the back room, another plump and elderly lady searches her computer for songs about the Magi. She is preparing for the return of the National Pointless Day party, to be held on the afternoon of January 1st. We will be celebrating Epiphany with drums and falafel. No shepherds allowed.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Jos
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 01:59 PM

I thought Epiphany was 6 January - so is that the National Pointless Week party? Sounds good to me.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: JennieG
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 02:42 PM

The giant wombat yawns, stretches, rolls over and goes back to sleep. It's not the time yet.....


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 04:36 PM

St. Nicks day was Dec. 6th. Hannuka is finished. Tis the season when Severn arrives in his 68 Galaxie. Its good the police haven't set up their sobriety check points yet. Besides Wombats are suppose to hibernate all winter unless poked.

Its always too early for procrastinators.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 06:53 PM

Wombats defecate cube-shaped pellets which they use to construct edifices meant to attract mates. The cubical shape makes the turds easier to stack. Yes, one could say wombats literally shit bricks.

Please make note of the new wing added to the tavern since last year. The one built from small brown "bricks".


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 18 - 09:35 PM

He rolls up, sitting in his BRAND NEW DESK CHAIR, purchased or otherwise obtained this very morning. This year he decided that roasting hot dogs with his rapier wasn't good for the steel, so he only brought six brace of flintlock pistols (none of which work as Jennie filled them up with water).

Where's Squiddy?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 04:59 PM

Shit rolls downhill for most species but for those species who don't, usually meet an evolutionary dead end.

Wow that Desk Chair has more custom adjustments than a Mercedes S car seat while retaining the six spoke base. Those 7 wheel models are austentacious in looks but are uncomfortable and feeble in features.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 05:17 PM

And he says, "My noble steed has equine getoverit, a disease causing equines to lay around and eat and frolic all day. Therefore, this year, I chose an alternative mode of transport. May I please have a flagon of mead -- real mead, not that flower-sniffer stuff you serve to the non-barbarians? And a half an auroch, if properly cooked by MMario."


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 05:36 PM

There's no such thing as an "auroch". "Aurochs" is both singular and plural. Like "sheep", only backwards. CLICK


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 08:21 PM

Like "sheep", only backwards.

Okay, hcorua. Or even shcorua.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Dec 18 - 09:09 PM

The flagon of Mead will make you bleed, its the flagon with the dragon that has the brew that is true. May I suggest a double Rusty Nail, its lighter but never fails to delight.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Jos
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 03:03 AM

My way of remembering that it is 'aurochs' is to think of it as a kind of ox - a golden ox maybe. So the plural should be aurochsen


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 05:00 AM

Smiling African chap (professional cleaner) arrives wearing cleaner's uniform. He begins cleaning out the jello pit and giving the whole place a nice spruce-up. Later he will change into his best and brightest African costume for the festivities.
Old lady directs the setting-up of special lighting, microphone and sound system.
There will be Morris dancing, folk singing and...demonstrations of The Floss.
Large lorry draws up. It contains enough crumpets for the Season.
And 135 different whiskies for Steve.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 10:45 AM

What? Only 135? 500 at least!
And a crate of Highland Spring for thise who want to savour all the other flavours released by such magic water.
And a crate of Irn Bru for the hangovers.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Jos
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 10:52 AM

My hangover cure is ready salted potato crisps (chips west of the Atlantic) so a supply of those might be useful.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Jos
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 10:53 AM

PS. They also work for travel sickness (and morning sickness, but I reckon I won't be suffering from that).


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 10:56 AM

Well I think Steve said he wanted to savour 135 whiskies, but I may be wrong (memory is probably failing - too many chocolate eclairs, I've just wolfed down a whole box of 'em!)

Totally agree with your suggestions Tattie. Also, can another lorry arrive bearing haggises? (or 'haggai'?) And those lovely mutton pies with three holes in the top to let the grease out? And some potato scones? And some black bun?

Old lady drools on her sofa in anticipation. African chap has finished his cleaning and is smiling as usual. He's now off to change into his African outfit...


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Jos
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 11:50 AM

While the supplies are being gathered in Scotland for the lady on the sofa, could they put in some tablet please. (Google "Scottish tablet" and you'll understand.)


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 07:04 PM

Tablet - keep on taking them, of course! 95% sugar, but who cares this time of year? There is always the New Year diet and gym membership to look forward to!
Haggis - do you want whirls, balls or the whole bang shoot? (A haggis in a bird that has to be shot while it is sitting, according to my Mum, RIP.)
I'm off to change into my tartan tatters jacket: such a labour of love that was!
The 500 whiskies come from one of several Edinburgh pubs that profess to stock them all! Do NOT try them all in one night!

And in comes a white-haired (?gentle)man seriously under-armed with a minute screwdriver and packs of multiple sizes of lithium batteries and AAAs. His stated mission is to re-ignite all those stupid toys that sing and dance if you charge them up with said batteries. (My Facebook friends may well have deja vu over this!) "Let's Twist again" sings a groovy Santa, while a reindeer carps chocolate balls.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 18 - 08:48 PM

"Squiddy! Here, Squiddy!" he calls and is answered by a slitherysucking sound from somewhere in the back.

Out front, a Christmas tree is being dragged into the hall. It is kind of a mess, as it was decorated on the ground due to its height.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 04:30 AM

The old lady prefers haggis in a sheep's stomach, about the size of a melon, so she can plunge a dagger in and watch the insides spill out. Yummmmmmm! And the tablet is an excellent idea.

Smiling African man is helping to put the gigantic Crimbo tree up.
Father Christmas is having a tankard of Old Speckled Hen ale.

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!"


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 05:42 AM

Carps?? Craps! Definitely Christmas with reindeer crapping and Squiddy slithering and entrails gushing - "oh whit a sicht!"
Is it too soon to break out the Prosecco?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 06:00 AM

I was wondering about the reindeer with chocolate balls! :)
There's an enormous reservoir just behind the Tavern which is pure Prosecco, so anyone can take a wineglass down there (or a bucket!), dip it in and help themselves.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: MMario
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 07:45 AM

Bee-dubya-ell - I believe "Auroch" is the FRACTIONAL; One aurochs, two aurochs, half of an auroch. As it is one sheep, two sheep, half a mutton.

Uhm, just dropped in to tell you guys I can't cook this year. The medicos have put me on this Oxygen thingie and I don't think I want to be around flames....


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 08:01 AM

Don't you worry MMario, there's plenty of room here on the sofa beside Plump Old Lady and Smiling African Man. Bring your oxygen thingie and let the others oversee the catering.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 09:44 AM

I am not a fan of gourmet meats such as squid, LLC Llama lung casserole or hummingbird eye balls on beaks. Family fare is fine. Perhaps Steve could cook?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 09:52 AM

The Gnome in the corner, who everyone assumed was a garden ornament because it had not moved since last December, opened one bleary eye.

"Whut? Christmas again? Yule be telling me I have been asleep for a year next."

The assembled company groan at the pun as detritus, dried spiders and even the odd live sparrow are brushed from the bright waistcoat and beer stained beard. Or should that be beered? With no apparent movement whatsoever the Gnome is now seated on a tall bar stool.

"How the..." begins the old lady but is interrupted by the sounds of creaking leather and keys jangling as the Gnome opens his wallet.

"Pint of Turbot's Really Odd" demands the Gnome. "Or failing that, anything that does not contain anti-freeze. Well, at a pinch. Maybe..."

The barman blows the dust from a battered pewter vessel that could be a pint pot but looks suspiciously bigger on the inside.

"Your usual tankard, sir? Although, I have never quite figured out how 6 pints in this can empty a 36 gallon barrel..."

The Gnome smiles, well, gnomically .


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 09:55 AM

meanwhile upstairs, in the Gulgong Folk Festival thread, Dave the Gnome posted a hint as to the wombat's present location ...


CHRISTMAS IN AUSTRALIA. (Roaring Jelly)

Spoken
Forget your snow and reindeer and all that there malarky
'Cause down here Father Christmas wears a pair of shorts.---- KHAKI.

Chorus.
Christmas in Australia, is Christmas in paradise,
Christmas in Australia is basically, 'Bloody Nice',
Bruce goes steady with Sheila, and Sheila goes steady with Bruce,
And if you don't have a Christmas suntan, you're a 'Pommie' and you ain't no use

It's ninety in the shade at Christmas, the sun's a blazing 'phew',
So grab a tube of Foster's and a slice of cold kangaroo.
Bruce is waxing his surf board, and waxing his Shiela too,
It's a great Australian Christmas, ya-hoo.

Chorus.

It was a lovely sunny Christmas, we had a party on the beach,
Sang Australian carols, you should have heard us screech.
Our 'Silent Night' was a burst of light and the likes are heard only seldom,
Of 'Once In Royal Bruce's City', in a little town called Melbourne.

Chorus.

Bruce and Sheila disappeared round the far side of the truck,
They were gone for quite some time, we shouted, "Are you stuck?"
Then I had a bright idea, said, "I know what I'll do,
I'll play 'Oh Come All Ye Faithful' on Bruce's didgeridoo.

Chorus

As the afternoon wore on everyone got paralytic,
A drunken brawl developed from a friendly game of cricket.
Rolph Harris turned up finally to distract us from our combat,
By painting a lovely picture of Rudolf the Red Nosed Wombat.

Chorus.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 07:14 PM

By god I believe the white haired guy at the end of the bar looks just like General Mattis.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: MMario
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 07:31 PM

Mad Dog! Heard you are retiring.....pull up a stool and have a drink or twenty. You've earned 'em!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 21 Dec 18 - 08:44 PM

Just bcak frmo the reversoir: boy, am I squiffy, or do I mean squiddy? My entrails may be gushing in da morn!
Meanwhile the 40-piece ceilidh band has just struck up so let's all dance!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 02:59 AM

The wombat is stirring.

However, do take the lyrics with a grain of salt......we know of no one Down Under who actually drinks Fosters. It is worse than wombat piss.

Not that I can vouch for that by personal experience, just quoting what I have heard from beer drinkers of my acquaintance.

Bring any beverages that you wish to consume, but no Fosters - else you may find yourself auditioning for the position of tuner to the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 04:19 AM

Old lady rises up (a bit creakily) and begins the first of many demonstrations of The Floss. African man, slightly embarrassed, chats to MMario and pretends he's not with her.

The Prosecco reservoir is filled by a Prosecco waterfall. Very picturesque. One can stand underneath it, mouth agape, and let the wine pour in.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 11:45 AM

Hmmmm, thinks the Gnome. Three pints of Turbots Really Odd, four cans of probably the best special brew in world and a bucket of Halfords best antifreeze. Maybe I had better slow down.

"Barman, bring me a coffee".

"Certainly sir. Would you like anything with that?"

"Well, maybe a large brandy to help it down. Oh, and no milk please. Just top it up with Tia Maria..."


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 12:08 PM

BTW. Did you know that Tia Maria was Spanish for Aunty Mary?


Hehehe.

Aunty Mary had a canary
Up the leg of her draws
When she farted, out it darted
To a round of applause.

Hic.

Another coffee please....


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 01:30 PM

Pwaaaaahahahahaaaagh Dave!!!!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 03:15 PM

Och, we a' ken that,Dave, but it still raises a laugh each time auld Auntie Mary farts: tae the tune o' The Cock O' the North, which the 40-pice ceilidh band are playing the noo!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 03:44 PM

Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise,
Truly a creation that description defies ...


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 06:58 PM

Yes, I can see why!

The giant wombat sits up. "Waiter - a couple of maple whiskies please" it asks politely. The waiter obliges.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 18 - 10:04 PM

Pulling out one of his six or eight brace of pistols, he squirts the barman. The barman responds with the soft drink/water squirter, and the squirt-fight is on!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 23 Dec 18 - 04:03 AM

Ooooooh, a SuperSoaker fight! Or as Tattie and I would say, "A squoosher fight!"
Now this sounds like fun!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Dec 18 - 10:28 AM

The Gnome, knowing that at least 2 of the squirters are loaded with spiced rum just grins and lies on the bar, mouth open.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Jos
Date: 23 Dec 18 - 12:20 PM

There is a roaring fire in the grate, I hope?
What with the prosecco waterfall and the squirters people could be collapsing with hypothermia if they can't get warm and dry again.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 23 Dec 18 - 12:26 PM

Sen organised the fire on 18th December, and the sofa: so fa so good?
"Fire in the Tavern" - somebody shouted "McIntyre".... Keep the home fires burning, but only in the grate, please.
Oh the Scots know what to do with Scooshers, aye right: we got soaked at our local panto!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 23 Dec 18 - 12:57 PM

Just ensure that MMario doesn't sit too near the fire because he's on oxygen. (Hope you're okay MMario.)

Where's that blooming Steve eh? We had him down to do the cooking for everyone as he's an ace chef and knows lots of lovely recipes.
I asked him on another thread to mosey down to the Tavern, as it's time he got some food preparation done.

Please don't tread on the two Siamese cats who are stretched out on the rug. They're so old and decrepit they won't be able to get out of the way. They'll sing for the company later on.

Have we got ale for the Border Morris side? They should show up fairly soon.


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Subject: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 23 Dec 18 - 08:59 PM

Why, my slaves are trying to enjoy themselves! I so like to see that, as it gives them good memories. Now get back to work!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Dec 18 - 05:48 AM

I am the Pan-Galactic Overlady, and here is a supersonic remote-controlled potato peeler. Please get started on the spuds.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Charmion
Date: 24 Dec 18 - 11:09 AM

I brought fruitcake and Brussels sprouts -- and they're delicious, I promise.

It's Christmas Eve already and the Nine Lessons & Carols is on the radio. Time to break out the brandy; sun's over the yardarm somewhere.

The Border Morris are taking off their boots in the porch, while the Guignolée troupe throw snowballs at their backsides, achieving snow down the neck in at least three cases.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Dec 18 - 05:25 PM

Who else would be in possession of a sonic potato peeler?
Scentofou is the new Dr. Who. imo


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Dec 18 - 06:21 PM

Either that, Donuel, or the new Dr What!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Dec 18 - 09:51 PM

or Mrs. Whatsit, from A Wrinkle In Time?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: GUEST, Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Dec 18 - 01:02 AM

No funny stuff, see? I'm Chongo Chimp, private eye from Chicago if you don't know me and I don't want no funny stuff. I just want whiskey. About a barrel. Then I'll leave. But I got a Chicago typewriter for anybody who tries somethin'. Now git back to yer doings.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Dec 18 - 08:39 PM

. . . and the dodo bird?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Dec 18 - 10:12 PM

He watches, a flagon of Dingle Whiskey in his hand, the other hand covering so the squirter fight doesn't dilute it. He is backing slowly toward the fire hose.

Suddenly, from the hole where the top of the Christmas tree extends through the roof, a flight of angels -- no, not angels, but angles flies through. Right, obtuse, all the various angles, and he thinks that they know all the angles.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Dec 18 - 01:44 PM

Squiddy, silently but squishily, seats the squid self in the pit of lime jello.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Dec 18 - 01:56 PM

Hahaha Chongo, I had to Google 'Chicago typewriter'and discovered it's a machine gun! I learn something new everyday. :)

Rap, I challenge you to repeat that after having imbibed several whiskies.

The Morris dancers are in full swing. Hook Eagle, playing 'Far Canal'.
(It only dawned on me quite recently what Far Canal actually is! Husband twigged straight away of course.)

Squiddy is waving all his tentacles in time to the music. Siamese cats are licking at the lime jelly/jello. Strangely enough they seem to like it.
We all need FOOD! Where HAS that blooming Steve got to eh? I might have to rustle up some finger food. Who will donate some fingers?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: JennieG
Date: 26 Dec 18 - 02:29 PM

The giant wombat quietly shuffles into the pit to join Squiddy.

Their combined volume makes the lime jello ooze over the sides of the pit and across the floor.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Dec 18 - 11:39 AM

Something between a large hedgehod and a baby pygmy elephant crawls in and goes over and lies down behind the comfy couch.

The elephant and the hedgehog find a table and order cocoa, extra hot.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Dec 18 - 02:33 PM

At this time of year the Gnomes reflect on why they no longer have leaders. The last one was King Henry who, as people know, was referred to as King Hal. Of course, when it was proved that his lineage was false he became known as the false king. It became a joke when the Gnomes all knelt in honour of the false king and proclaimed

"We all pay homage to faux king Hal..."


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 27 Dec 18 - 02:46 PM

Hahahahaaa Dave! And then they all danced Far Canal to Hook Eagle Morris music!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Dec 18 - 03:07 PM

Is that the faux King Hal of the Lingus family?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Dec 18 - 03:16 PM

or Con Hal Angus?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Dec 18 - 04:42 PM

Kinda lingers...


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 18 - 06:55 PM

Late, but still welcome, he rolls in a 100 gallon (Imperial) of eggnog, made from the infamous recipe of Mute Peiter, the bartender who kept his mouth shut (not that he couldn't talk, he just didn't have anything to say). Non-plastic straws are distributed to all.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Dec 18 - 07:50 PM

Thank God! Eggnog! The supermarkets seem to turn the eggnog tap off at precisely midnight on December 25th. And they won't turn it back on until mid-November of the following year. You think that hundred gallons will last that long?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 18 - 09:03 PM

There's more where that came from.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 28 Dec 18 - 04:11 PM

I used to love Warninks Advocaat. But I never mixed it with anything (I believe people drink what's called a Snowball, which is Advocaat and lemonade)
A tiny egg-cupful neat was very nice. But I don't drink nowadays :(


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 18 - 11:31 AM

A moment of reflection and the toasts: MMario passed away last night.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Dec 18 - 11:33 AM

He always made the best roast aurouch. The place will never be the same. :-(


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Senoufou
Date: 29 Dec 18 - 12:16 PM

So very sorry to hear this. Rest in peace MMario.
Condolences to his family and friends.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Dec 18 - 02:58 PM

Perhaps this should shift from the Christmas Tavern to the MMario wake and move back upstairs?


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 18 - 03:37 PM

Why not? He often visited the Tavern, most recently this one on December 21.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 12:23 AM

MMario had a special rub and prepared aurochs like no one else could come close to. When he came out from behind the bar to sing he charmed the cats and the ducks out of the rafters and the squid slid to the shallow end of the jello pit to listen. He even managed to charm Nurse Ratched when he wasn't parsing singular and plural noun forms. His last posts were playful, to do with food and this fabricated place we revive and renovate every so often.

Who's working the bar? We each need a stout beer to raise in his honor. And to sing a few songs. I'll start:

Of all the money that e'er I spent
I've spent it in good company
And all the harm that ever I did
Alas it was to none but me
And all I've done for want of wit
To memory now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all

If I had money enough to spend
And leisure to sit awhile
There is a fair maid in the town
That sorely has my heart beguiled
Her rosy cheeks and ruby lips
I own she has my heart enthralled
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all

Oh, all the comrades that e'er I had
They're sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e'er I had
They'd wish me one more day to stay
But since it falls unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be with you all


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 04:54 AM

A joint venture by MMario and I resulted in one of the "quick links" at the top of the page. Here is a link to how it got underway and, in honour of Leo, I shall raise a glass to him and all absent friends this very evening.

Russian Folk Songs

The Gnome stood on the bar and glared until the tavern was silent. With hushed tones he quoted, who else on Hogmanay, Rabbie himself.

“Here's to us, wha's like us. Damn few, and they're aw deed.”


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: GUEST,Sandra in Sydney to lazy to re-set her cooki
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 05:29 AM

behind the magic door here in the Land of Oz its New Year's Eve & the 9pm Sydney fireworks have recently finished but in a few hours the midnight lot will burst forth in a live stream & if that's not magic, what is?

I'm listening to mmario Loudly Bellowing Carols & eating dinner which include some very buttery crumpets, which go down as well on a hot humid Sydney night as in a cold northern hemisphere tavern


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Amergin
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 07:34 AM

The Musician’s Requiem

Look around the old tavern
at the ever increasing number of empty chairs,
the cushions still carrying their imprint,
the tables, their place at the bar
still bear the circle rings
of empty glasses.

In half hidden corners
sit their instruments,
their guitars,
their banjos,
their dulcimers,
their fiddles…

each crying to be held,
to feel the kisses of fingertips,
but the passing years lay dust on their frets.

Let us raise one last parting glass,
and sing one more song…
before our voices, too,
stretch into the quiet.

“But since it falls unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and softly call
Good night and joy be with you all”

Nathan Tompkins


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: bbc
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 08:35 AM

Leo, you'll be missed, but your company, through the years, was sure appreciated! Rest in peace, my friend!

bbc


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 01:03 PM

His partner behind the bar and in the kitchen, the alligator, cries real tears, none of that crocodile stuff. I'm sure there's a lot more tears shed from anybody who knew a singularly genuine, kind and beautiful soul. So long, Leo, a lot of things in here and elsewhere in Mudcat will never be the same. Your prescence leaves a big empty space.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 02:55 PM

He rolls in the hogsheads of beer, wine, and porter; these are followed by barrel after barrel of small-batch single malt of various descriptions.

"Do not cease mourning, but smile and drink up! MMario would like it that way! And let there be song!"


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 03:34 PM

Sing, like MMario would like it!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: GUEST, Giant Squid
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 07:06 PM

Finally emerges from the deep end of the jello pit as voices are raised in song, irreverent and joyful, funny and poignant.

"A clydsedale? Is that where all of the beer they sell at the tavern down the road (the one without a jello pit or time/space fluctuations) comes from? I knew there was a reason I liked this place better."


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 08:06 PM

Now my plans go forward! Submit, for the only one who could thwart me is gone! Shame, that. I'll miss him. The rest of you

SUBMIT!!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: GUEST,keberoxu
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 08:58 PM

... and there goes the neighborhood.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 09:59 PM

Give him a double whisky and he'll settle down with the squid. He just comes here to play in the jello.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 11:03 PM

Greg (Hardiman the Fiddler AKA Hardi) and I are having a bit of a private wake for Leo. We're incorporating him into our now-famous semi-geezerly New Year's Eve of all-night escapist TV films/hockey accompanied with a series of presentations of creative but simple finger food. Leo was so excited about our Jan. 1 retirement that it's only right we include him tonight.

Two new traditions in his honor will begin tonorrow-- brunch cocktails of cream with either brandy or scotch and espresso.

Leo was one of several Catters who first met us via a Mudgather and later came back for relaxing weekends on thir own, which this big old farmhouse has hosted so well-- lots of space for quiet alone time. Very often his particular visits included cookathons where the 3 of us would alternately cook together in the roomy farm kitchen and take turns whizzing up treats to surprise the others. One simple but VERY effective surprise was the mug of superstrong espresso with a big scoop of ice cream filling most of the mug space. I recall vividly his various facial expressions of delighted approval as each sip included more and more of the melting ice cream. (The last "sip" is via spoon.)

In those years, Greg was never off duty from emergency room pastoral visits, but now this sort of treat can be laced with the good stuff-- and be our annual Leo Special. We'll toast to our marriage tonight at midnight as he would wish us to do-- but to Leo tomorrow at brunch (turkey/tater/Swiss cheese hash with poached eggs).

We're also contemplating serving a brandy/cream-soaked cake with brunch tomorrow, which we will also name for him (Leo's Retreat), and repeat each New Year.

Maybe by tomorrow I'll be able to cry.

~S~


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 31 Dec 18 - 11:19 PM

I never met him but enjoyed all of the banter and food talk below the line, and the music discussions above. There will be good stories to tell about all of those real-time events people attended with him and I look forward to reading them. Laughter will follow - as it should. It's part of healing.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jan 19 - 09:07 AM

The thing behind the couch wakes up, and regrets it. So long, Mmario.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Severn
Date: 01 Jan 19 - 07:01 PM

I submitted to the Over-Lowered, but my idea was rejected. Either my thoughts are too deep, or he has been over-lowered too deep and is in over his head and beyond his limit. Mmario would have had nothing to fear and would've shrugged him off.....


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: GUEST,The Galactic Overlord
Date: 02 Jan 19 - 09:28 AM

Aw, pooie! Sev is here. I have never been able to rule anything when Sev is there. BARKEEP! Gimme a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster or two!


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Senoufou
Date: 02 Jan 19 - 09:52 AM

The Old Lady and the Smiling African Man would like everyone to join us in singing 'Rolling Home'. It's always struck her as a lovely song for remembering a much-loved person and also imagining the Next Stage.
The two elderly Siamese cats will play guitar and a mandolin.

Rolling Home by Roy Bailey


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Jan 19 - 11:31 PM

From MMario's sister this evening:
    Services will be January 19th at 10 am for Leo’s memorial at
    St Mark’s Episcopal Church in Penn Yan, NY. 14527


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 04 Jan 19 - 10:30 AM

The scarecrow (Tattie Bogle) pours herself a large A Bunadh and joins in "Then pass the bottle round, and let the toasts go free" -
"Free toast?" says Squiddy
"There's a land of milk and honey waits on the other side" - we hope so!
99................


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Senoufou
Date: 04 Jan 19 - 12:14 PM

Just heard this morning that our 100 year-old neighbour Dougie died on Christmas Eve. So The Old Lady and the Smiling African Man will be thinking of him too as they eat their free toast.

Appropriately, this should be post no 100.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 04 Jan 19 - 02:21 PM

I defer! And so sorry to hear about your neighbour, Senofou.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Jan 19 - 02:06 PM

... and with news of Mudcatter Amos in hospital and most unwell,
there is an emptiness in the Tavern that wasn't there before.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Jan 19 - 05:58 AM

There is indeed, keberoxu.

The giant wombat doesn't feel much like partying, but raises a quiet glass in the corner to those whose last visit to the tavern this was.


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: hsempl
Date: 07 Jan 19 - 08:44 AM

I just want to say (this is Heather, relative newcomer known to a few of you but a first- time visitor to this cozy and deceptively large tavern- is that a small elephant or a large dog snoring on the bench in the nook just past the loo?) that having just read through this all this morning, I pronounce you all beautiful and delightful. Now if someone would please pass me a mug of something hot, I’ll take a sip and a snooze in the corner over here...


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Subject: RE: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2018 & MMario Wake
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Jan 19 - 11:02 AM

If you visit the Amos is Ill thread you'll see that a concussion cause some of the difficulties his sister described but order is returning to his brain; Nurse Ratched is preparing to move him to another bed with a lot more activity soon (physical therapy).


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