Subject: Add: Rime of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 05 Feb 19 - 12:14 AM
-Joe Offer- I feel like sharing some of the best I've heard from the San Francisco Folk Music Club. Here's Holly Tannen, singing her "Ancient Matriarch":That's my friend Amelia Hogan singing with her. RIME OF THE ANCIENT MATRIARCH (Holly Tannen) I was born in Turkey thirty thousand years ago I taught the women and the men the things that they should know The patriarchs invaded and I was forced to roam I am an ancient matriarch, a long way from my home So I escaped to Brittany, way up in Northern France I met some Gauls with hairy balls, who thought they wore the pants Until I had them brought to me, inside my pleasure dome I am an ancient matriarch, a long way from my home Across the Channel I was called to help the Celts carouse Where fungi flourished on the crops and droppings of the cows In jest I said, "Ingest these things" And thus the Henge was stoned I am an ancient matriarch, a long way from my home 'Tis then across the Irish sea I boldly made my way Where I was worshipped as a queen on each St Brigid's Day Invading Brits disdained my tits and threw me from my throne I am an ancient matriarch, a long way from my home Amongst the Appalachians I then did take my stand Likewise in Nova Scotia and up in Newfoundland In New Orleans, them Voodoo queens embraced me as their own I am an ancient matriarch, a long way from my home It's now in California this matriarch belongs Where paunchy bards in Star Trek garb sing ersatz gaelic songs Though madam Pele calls me I shall no longer roam I am an ancient matriarch, a long way from my home |
Subject: ADD: Bonobo Wannabee (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 06 Jul 21 - 07:26 PM Thread #74787 Message #1328932 Posted By: Barbara 16-Nov-04 - 03:04 PM Thread Name: Lyr Req: monkeys more humane than humans Subject: Lyr Add: BONOBO WANABEE (Holly Tannen)
There's also this one, written by Holly Tannen a year ago, that addresses another facet of humane monkey behavior. This one is about the Bonobos, a recent split from chimpanzee who are known for all the things they do to deal with stress that keep them from even being shown on the discovery channel. They just about exclusively use sexuality instead of agression when things get tense. |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,# Date: 08 Jul 21 - 12:18 PM http://hollytannen.com/songlyrics.htm That may be of some help.
-Joe- |
Subject: ADD: Delta Blues (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 01 Aug 21 - 11:55 PM Here's another gem I got by email from Holly: DELTA BLUES Words: Holly Tannen Tune: Evil-Hearted Me or any good blues tune © Copywrong 2021 All rights reversed Please sing, make up verses, make it your own - though I do appreciate being credited Got my N95, then I went and got my vax Now the Delta variant is creeping through the cracks I got the blues, I got the blues, got the mean old Delta Blues I got the Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and the mean old Delta Blues I try to wear a mask but I sniffle and I sneeze Till I think I’m coming down with this ridiculous disease I got the blues, I got the blues, I got the mean old Delta Blues I know it must be true ‘cause I saw it on the morning news I want to go to Sweden on a Viking river cruise But I’m stuck in California with the Delta Blues I got the blues, I got the blues, I got the mean old Delta Blues I know all about it ‘cause I read it on Google news I wanna smoke some dope and I wanna drink some booze Will they help me to forget about the Delta Blues? I got the blues, I got the blues, the mean old Delta Blues I wanna go to bed and take a fourteen-hour snooze I wanna hug my buddy and I wanna kiss my friend And I wanna know if this fershlugginer plague will ever end I got the blues, I got the blues, the mean old Delta Blues I got the Alpha and Omega and the mean old Delta Blues |
Subject: Lyr Add: Delta Blues (Variant) From: GUEST,Holly Tannen Date: 02 Aug 21 - 06:52 PM DELTA BLUES Words: Holly Tune: Evil-Hearted Me, Walkin' Blues, or any good blues tune © Copywrong 2021 All rights reversed Please sing, make up verses, make it your own - though I do appreciate being credited Got my N95, then I went and got my vax Now the Delta variant is creeping through the cracks I got the blues, I got the blues, got the mean old Delta Blues I got the Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and the mean old Delta Blues I try to wear a mask but I sniffle and I sneeze Till I think I’m coming down with this ridiculous disease I got the blues, I got the blues, I got the mean old Delta Blues I know it must be true ‘cause I saw it on the morning news I want to go to Sweden on a Viking river cruise But I’m stuck in California with the Delta Blues I got the blues, I got the blues, I got the mean old Delta Blues I know all about it ‘cause I read it on Google news I wanna smoke some dope and I wanna drink some booze Will they help me to forget about the Delta Blues? I got the blues, I got the blues, the mean old Delta Blues I wanna go to bed and take a fourteen-hour snooze I wanna hug my buddy and I wanna kiss my friend And I wanna know if this fershlugginer plague will ever end I got the blues, I got the blues, the mean old Delta Blues I got the Alpha and Omega and the mean old Delta Blues |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 08 Aug 21 - 01:40 AM Well, I gave her a thread for her songs, but she likes to put them where she likes to put them. Don't mess with a woman with a creative mind. :-) Thread #167408 Message #4115703 Posted By: GUEST,Holly Tannen 07-Aug-21 - 09:09 AM Thread Name: Lyr Req: Coronavirus Songs (COVID-19; Pandemic) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Coronavirus Songs (COVID-19; Pandemic)
I Could Not Stop For Covid |
Subject: New Old Song: Slithering (Holly Tannen) From: Holly Tannen Date: 30 Oct 21 - 02:06 AM SLITHERING Words: Holly Tune: Streets of Laredo As I slithered out in the garden of Eden As I went slith’ring round Eden one day I spied a young couple all wrapped up in nothing All of their naughty bits out on display. I said to the short one, I see you are mammals You both have nipples for feeding your young I have no nipples, for I am a reptile I have bright scales and a flattering tongue. I said to the tall one, I see you are manly You have that dangly thing down by your thigh Would you oblige me by wearing this fig leaf? I feel embarrassed, though I don’t know why. Let me present you this shiny red apple You can both share it with your buddy Steve It will give you wisdom, it is psychedelic Take a bite, Adam, and don’t you blame Eve. |
Subject: New album: Eat Your Triceratops (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 02 Mar 22 - 02:36 PM Eat Your TriceratopsHolly Tannen presents a digital download of twelve new songs and an old one.
Available Beltane, May 1st, 2022, I hope. htannen@mcn.org |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,Rearranging Deck Chairs Date: 16 May 22 - 01:28 AM REARRANGING DECK CHAIRS The crew are winching lifeboats down into the freezing sea. The band is on the boatdeck playing Nearer My God To Thee I am an able seaman charged with maintenance and repairs, The bos'n says, “Go up on deck and rearrange the chairs.” He thinks they’ve fallen over so I have to go and check And bring a bucket and a mop so I can swab the deck. The ship is slowly sinking while the boilers team and smoke, I gaze around and wonder if there isn’t something broke. A thousand squealing Norway rats are diving off the side But I’m not going to follow them, a worker has his pride. The jewel-bedazzled heiresses and self-made millionaires Are crowding into lifeboats as I rearrange the chairs. They’ve locked the doors to steerage so the poor folks can’t get out “There isn’t room for all of you,” I heard the Captain shout. The Irish and Italian are all kneeling, saying prayers While up here on the quarterdeck I’m rearranging chairs. |
Subject: Holio (Than Thou) From: GUEST,F the Ineffable (Holly Tannen) Date: 06 Jul 22 - 10:29 PM HOLIO (Than Thou) Tune: Sweet Betsy From Pike Can be heard on Holly's new CD Baby recording, "Eat Your Triceratops" There are many spiritual people in Mendocino. I am so holy and kindly and wise Folks come from miles to gaze in my eyes Sit at my feet and you quickly will see No one is half as enlightened as me. Holio, holio holio ho Everyone loves me wherever I go When my friends need me I always am there. I always listen and I always care I always text them and email them too I’m not a burnt-out old hippie like you. Holio, holio holio ho Everyone loves me wherever I go That stuff you’re eating, I used to eat that. It made me bloated and stupid and fat Eat what I eat, and you surely will see You can be brilliant and slender like me. Holio, holio holio ho Everyone loves me wherever I go That stuff you’re smoking, I used to smoke too. It got me high and then it made me blue Quit your addiction, and have some mint tea You can be clean and clear-headed like me. Holio, holio holio ho Everyone loves me wherever I go I help the needy and I volunteer Everyone tells me they’re glad I live here Except the deluded and drug-addled few Who like to hang out with a loser like you. Holio, holio holio ho Everyone loves me wherever I go |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 10 Jul 22 - 09:50 PM Thread #171459 Message #4146786 Posted By: GUEST,F the Ineffable 08-Jul-22 - 09:42 PM Thread Name: Lyr Add: Funny Songs about Aging Subject: ADD: Young Lady (Holly Tannen)
I'm interested in songs about old people refusing to accept negative stereotypes. |
Subject: The Princess and the Frog From: GUEST,F the Ineffable Date: 24 Jul 22 - 11:41 PM The Princess and the Frog Tune: When Stormy Winds Do Blow, the Watersons Words: F the Ineffable One fine October morning Down by Big River side A maid meandered down the sand To view the flowing tide. Being lovely, lithe and lonely, She sat down on a log. By a waterfall she heard the call Of a tiny long-tailed frog. His tender skin was emerald green Bedecked with flecks of gold. He was a living breathing gem A splendour to behold. He glimmered in the morning light That filtered through the fog And rainbows from the waterfall Played gaily round the frog. “O lovely lady, take me home,” This brilliant creature cried. “And whisper ardent words of love And say you’ll be my bride. And if you kiss my froggie lips Beneath yon flowering quince I’ll shed my slimy skin, and I’ll Become a handsome prince.” “Oh darling, precious froggie-poo I’ll make for you a bed, With chocolate treats and silken sheets And pillows for your head. But I’ll not kiss your froggie lips Beneath yon flowering quince For there is nothing I need less Than one more handsome prince.” “For I’ve had men a-plenty From Zanzibar to Prague I’ve screwed the best and scorned the rest, But I’d love a talking frog.” |
Subject: Butterflies and Puppydogs From: GUEST, F the Ineffable Date: 25 Jul 22 - 12:54 PM Butterflies and Puppy Dogs Tune: The Hot Asphalt https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUpGV0hsq1s Butterflies and puppy dogs, hummingbirds and whales Roly-poly kittens playing with their mothers’ tails. Think of sweet and lovely things, don’t focus on the sad It’s your negativity that makes you feel so bad. We’ll go on a vision quest because all agree Everyone on earth creates their own reality. We all choose our parents, we’re evolving towards the light We were very clever choosing parents who were white. If a sheriff stops us while we’re driving to the mall We can rest assured he won’t do anything at all. We don’t have to worry that our children will get shot If they walk too fast across a Target parking lot. If you’re plucking chicken butts or packing pickled pork, If you’re stacking bodies on a playground in New York, If La Migra busted you and took your kids and wife It’s because of something you did in a former life. Think of sweet and lovely things, don’t focus on the sad It’s your negativity that makes you feel so bad. Undulating octopuses, cute beluga whales Jolly ginger kittens pouncing on their mothers tails. |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 26 Jul 22 - 12:46 AM One may scoff, but I sang "Slithering" in the Mudcat Singaround today to wild applause. So, THERE!!! They said it was good, but they wished that Holly Tannen herself had been there to sing it... |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,The Ancient Matriarch Herself Date: 22 Aug 22 - 10:48 PM I’m Not A Boy Tune: The Yellow Rose of Texas, or any good tune Words: F the Ineffable I‘m not a boy, said little Fred Said Joe, I’m OCD I’m ADHD, Marnie said, And Laura's gluten-free. Art said, I want to be a geek And work at Livermore Bill cried, I am a Jesus freak Said Karl, I worship Thor. Their mothers told them not to shout Or quarrel as they played. “I hope they get that sorted out Before they start first grade.” |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,The Veritable Ancient Matriarch Date: 22 Aug 22 - 10:57 PM Yes, Kate McGarrigle's "Talk To Me of Mendocino" is beautiful. But "Never had the blues from whence I came?" "The trees grow high in New York State?" Nonsense. Our trees could eat three of your trees for breakfast. Here's a song about Mendocino sung by people who live here. Squawk to Me of Mendocino Bid farewell to the state of Arizona To get away from home In the LA traffic you begin to age When first your hair starts graying. And the trees grow high in Mendocino This is your last chance to see Those that Calfire hasn’t taken, Cut down by PG and E. Squawk to me of Mendocino Open your eyes, you’ll see RVs Drive up from San Bernardino Passing log trucks full of trees. Cloverdale, turn left to Boonville Getting carsick on the turns Guys can pee upon the redwoods Gals can squat down in the ferns. Eat another lemon gummie Stop and take another toke. Running gaily round the redwoods Crashing through the poison oak. What’s become of Mendocino? Now it’s normal and mundane Where are all those old-time hippies? Only tourist traps remain. And the t-shirts all say “Mendocino” Now you wonder why you bought ‘em Never had the crabs from whence you came But in Fort Bragg you caught ‘em. As the sun sets on the ocean You’re still staring at your phone No, I will not take your picture Let me brood here on my own. Squawk to me of Mendocino Open your eyes, you’ll see RVs Drive up from San Bernardino Past the last remaining trees. |
Subject: ADD: Sometimes an Eggplant (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,Mama and Baba Ghanoush Date: 22 Aug 22 - 11:08 PM ! WARNING ! ATTENTION ! ACHTUNG ! ADVERTENCIA ! This song refers to the existence of things people do. The One Company has developed a condom specifically for use with butt stuff. They held a contest to design the best condom wrapper. Several entrants incorporated eggplant emoji… SOMETIMES AN EGGPLANT Words: F the Ineffable Tune: Bold Doherty, What Can A Young Lassie, or any good tune Sometimes an eggplant is only an eggplant, Perfectly normal and not at all queer. Purple and shiny and moist and delicious Like the fat aubergine I’m holding here. Singing Aubergine-ay Aubergine-arity Aubergine-arity, Aubergine-ay! I wear my aubergines over my undergines I tuck my undergines into my socks Under my turtleneck I carry turtles, all Cleverly fastened with bagels and locks. Singing Aubergine-ay. etc Sometimes a rifle is only a rifle Sometimes a dreadnought is just a guitar Why can’t a joke be an innocent trifle? Like a cigar can be just a cigar. Singing Aubergine-ay. etc Can’t an emoji just be an emoji? Why can’t an inkblot be only a blot? Why can’t a word be a single entendre? Why should I care if it’s single or not? Singing Aubergine-ay. etc Sometimes a symbol is only a symbol If we have two we can make a big noise. Let’s buy some eggplant and cook a moussaka, Cheesy Greek meatloaf for fat-bottomed boys Who sing Aubergine-ay Aubergine-arity Aubergine-arity, Aubergine-ay! Next time you look at a peach or papaya Don’t think of genitals, butthole or tush. When you imagine a big purple eggplant Pray to your guru, old Baba Ghanoush. Singing Aubergine-ay Aubergine-arity Aubergine-arity, Aubergine-ay! |
Subject: ADD: The Night Before Samhain (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,The Ancient Matriarch Date: 30 Oct 22 - 10:53 PM Bright blessings, smiling silly sisters and laughing lurking listers! Tis the end of the old Celtic year and the start of the new. In Ireland, Samhain (pronounced sow-in) was the last day of summer (Samradh. Farm people stored their harvested crops and gathered in their animals. The setting sun lights the face of the waxing crescent moon. The sky darkens. The first stars have not yet appeared. Time for my another re-telling of that ancient oral epic, translated from the Proto-Indo-European and recited over a smoldering peat fire by my great great grandmother, Scarlett O Tannenbaum THE NIGHT BEFORE SAMHAIN (Holly Tannen) Twas the night before Samhain and all through the coven The witches were cooking strange things in the oven Sowbugs and bedbugs and headlice and fleas Zuckerface burgers with limburger cheese. Pizza rats gleaned in New York and Chicago Classified documents from Mar-a-Lago Poison oak pudding and corgi pate And his royal lowness Prince Andrew flambe! Candles were lit and the circle was cast In hopes that the Goddess would be there at last When out by the hot tub I heard such a clatter I jumped on my broom to see what was the matter. And what did I see in the blackberry thorns But a dripping wet Goddess and eight unicorns! I was just sitting down with my vibrating phallus And a good book, she muttered. You bitches are callous. I came when you called, over all my objections And got lost in the woods, thanks to Siris directions You turkeys invoked me, now look at my dress! My periods late, and Ive got PMS. She cursed and she grumbled, she looked like a wreck The unicorns whimpered and shat on the deck So we gave her some bud and we got her some grub We brought her hot towels and she soaked in the tub. Then she rose, hot and dripping, and gave us her blessing And jumped in her chariot, without even dressing! On Isis, Rhiannon, Erzulie, Parvati! On Artemis, Freya, Kali and Hecate! We heard her exclaim as she rose through the air, Thank Goddess theres only eight Sabbats a year! - Aurora Borealis Medicine Turkey |
Subject: Lyr Add: Instagram (a lovely new song) From: GUEST Date: 05 Mar 23 - 05:46 PM A sodden song for a day of hail here in Mendonesia. Words: F the Ineffable Tune: Kodachrome,© 1973, Paul Simon When I think back on all the crap I learned at Berkeley It's a wonder I can think at all But my over - education hasn't hurt me none I can still whup you-all’s ass at pickleball. It gives us those nice white people Everyone’s always smiling Even though it’s hailing on a sunny day, oh yeah I got me an iPhone 7 I love to take a photograph So Papa, don't take my Instagram away If you took all the guys I screwed when I was horny And brought 'em all together for one night I know we’re too old to practice procreation And they’d rather all play fiddle tunes than fight It gives us those nice white people Everyone’s always smiling Everyone loves each other on a sunny day, oh yeah I got an iPhone 7 I love to take a photograph So Papa, don't take my Instagram away Papa, don't take my Instagram away Papa, don't take my Instagram away Papa, don't take my Instagram away Full disclosure: I’ve never played pickleball. I doubt I could distinguish a pickleball from any other kind of ball. But it rhymes. And scans. Please do not revoke my poetic license. - F. |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 05 Mar 23 - 10:40 PM Dear Anonymous Matriarch, I hope you don't mind that I move all your songs here where your myriad fans* are likely to find them. *Well, I'm the only fan of yours that I know, but what can I say? I'm sure that out there in the Ethersphere, you have literally thousands of rabid fans. Whatever the case, I sure have fun with your songs. I've even sung a song or two of yours on the Mudcat Worldwide Singaround on Mondays, and people have loved them. |
Subject: ADD: Grateful Dead Boogie (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,Email from Holly Tannen Date: 04 Apr 23 - 12:13 AM Dear Fellow Tree-Huggers: I sent The Grateful Dead Boogie to an Environmental Song contest in London. It’s now one of the six finalists! Listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GP-hXOM6y0E Vote: https://www.home-stage.co.uk/pfite-vote The song that gets the most votes wins 500 pounds ($620) for the songwriter and 500 pounds to their favorite environmental organization. I would donate it to Sara Rose and Ravel Gauthier’s Youth for Climate. “Was there music before the Grateful Dead?“ Oliver Swimmer asked his dad Chad. “And why are they grateful?” GRATEFUL DEAD BOOGIE Words and music: Hucklewood “Was there music before the Grateful Dead? And why are they grateful?” eight-year old Oliver said. Up spoke Marianna, who was five. “They are grateful they’re not still alive.” They don’t have to see what’s going on Everything they fought for, going or it’s gone People scared to speak their mind, people scared to sing Rich folks still stealing everything. Why are those men chopping down the trees? Do the redwoods have a tree disease? Now they lie there rotting in the sun I thought they belonged to everyone. Someone’s getting paid, we understand Cutting big old trees on public land But we’re not scared to speak our mind, we’re not scared to sing We won’t let the rich steal everything. We’ll play music like the Grateful Dead We will dance and boogie, Oliver said We will help the redwoods trees to thrive We are grateful we’re all still alive. Since recording it, I’ve changed the antepenultimate line to
I interviewed Garnish and asked him what held the Mendonesian community together back in the day. “The boogie!” he said - people dancing wildly to local bands. The boogie is making a comeback, at events like the Caspar Forest Fest. Any reason you couldn’t take a moment and vote? We can help people in Europe realize the importance of the redwoods in combatting climate change. https://www.home-stage.co.uk/pfite-vote Thank you for your support! Holly aka Hucklewood |
Subject: ADD: Eat Your Triceratops From: Holly Tannen Date: 13 Apr 23 - 11:11 PM Eat Your Triceratops A visionary young Tyrannosaur argues with his exasperated mother. “Mama, Mama,” said Tiny T, “See the plesiosaur in the sea! I want to dive and I want to swim,” “You’d sink to the bottom,” said his Mom to him. “Mama, Mama,” little Tiny cried, “See the microraptor leap and glide! I’m gonna go climb up that tree,” “You'll stay right here on the ground with me.” “Mama, Mama, I’m sick of meat Why can’t I have something sweet?” “Don’t be ridiculous,” his mother said “Eat your triceratops and go to bed.” “Mama Mama, I want to fly! Like a pterosaur in the sky, Soaring on the warm air, grand and calm.” “Forget about it,” said his Mom. “Tiny, Tiny, you’re a cute little tot But you can’t be something you are not. I’m tired of your whining and your tears. You couldn’t fly in a million years.” |
Subject: Listen to the Dinosaurs (Holly Tannen) From: Holly Tannen Date: 13 Apr 23 - 11:24 PM Listen to the Dinosaurs Words © 2014 Tune: Listen to the Radio, © Nancy Griffith, © 1989, Universal Music The first time I saw a raven fly upside down I thought I was having an acid flashback. But the Cornell University Laboratory of Ornithology clocked a raven flying upside down for almost half a mile. Nikons are inexpensive binoculars; (David) Sibley's is the bird ID book we used in Greg Grantham's 'Birds of the North Coast' class at College of the Redwoods. I'd be grateful if someone can come up with the name of a popular contemporary show to replace "Game of Thrones." I am bound for Mendocino in the morning rain Past coastal towns where fog is thick and tourists all complain. Past redwood trees and fog and dinosaurs Where would I be without the song of the dinosaurs? When you can't find a friend, you still got the dinosaurs When you can't find a friend, you still got the dinosaurs Dinosaurs, oh, listen to the dinosaurs. I left a clueless, four-eyed computer nerd on Franklin Street Staring at his Android, watching 'Game of Thrones,' wondering what's become of me. Got my Nikon and my Sibley’s in the trunk of my Accord And I am leaving Fort Bragg to look for dinosaurs. CHORUS There’s a hawk above the headlands north of Mendocino town There’s a pelican and a cormorant and a raven upside down. That computer nerd’ll find his Android in the garbage can And I am leaving Fort Bragg to look for dinosaurs. CHORUS The ravens brought their babies to the birdbath yesterday They splashed around, they begged for food, then they flew away. They have scales, they have claws, like dinosaurs And they all sing the song of the dinosaurs. When you can't find a friend, you still got the dinosaurs When you can't find a friend, you still got the dinosaurs Dinosaurs, oh, listen to the dinosaurs. Dinosaurs… |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,Somebody's Wrong on the Net Date: 24 Oct 23 - 01:58 AM Somebody's Wrong Words: F the Ineffable Tune: Rosin the Bow (also known as Acres of Clams) It’s 2 o’clock in the morning I haven’t gone to bed yet Gotta sit here at the laptop, 'cause Somebody’s wrong on the Net. Somebody's wrong on the net Somebody's wrong on the Net I know I’m right, so I’ll stay up all night Somebody's wrong on the Net. Some of the listfolk are normal Some are old hippies and freaks Some spend their time reading gobbledegook Upchucked by gobbledegeeks. Somebody's wrong on the Net Somebody's wrong on the Net Peevish and mean, they scream at the screen Somebody's wrong on the Net. Once I was wrong about something How could I ever forget All of those guys who informed me That I was wrong on the Net. One fellow said I was stupid One fellow told me I sucked I sent a witty rejoinder Telling them both to get a life. Somebody's wrong on the Net Somebody's wrong on the Net Stuck in their bubble, they love making trouble Somebody's wrong on the Net. |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,Sometimes An Eggplant Date: 24 Oct 23 - 02:00 AM Sometimes An Eggplant Words: The Aubergenius Tune: Bold Doherty Sometimes an eggplant is only an eggplant, Perfectly normal and not at all queer. Purple and shiny and moist and delicious Like the fat aubergine I’m holding here. Singing Aubergine-ay, auberginarity Auberginarity Aubergine-ay. Can’t an emoji be just an emoji? Why can’t an inkblot be only a blot? Why can’t a word be a single entendre? And why should I care if it’s single or not? Sometimes a symbol is only a symbol If we have two we can make a big noise. We’ll buy an eggplant and cook a moussaka, Cheesy Greek meatloaf for fat-bottomed boys Who sing Aubergine-ay, auberginarity Auberginarity Aubergine-ay. I wear my aubergines over my undergines I tuck my undergines into my socks Under my turtleneck I carry turtles, all Cleverly fastened with bagels and locks. Next time you look at a peach or papaya Don’t think of genitals, butthole or tush. When you imagine a big purple eggplant Pray to your guru, old Baba Ghanoush. Singing Aubergine-ay, auberginarity Auberginarity Aubergine-ay. |
Subject: I'm Not A Boy From: GUEST,Holly Date: 24 Oct 23 - 02:05 AM I’m Not A Boy Words: F the Ineffable Tune: The Yellow Rose of Texas or any good tune I‘m not a boy, said little Fred Dylan’s OCD I’m ADHD, Joni said, And Paul is gluten-free. Kay said, I’m going to be a geek And work at Livermore Jim cried, I am a Jesus freak Said Kurt, I worship Thor. Their mothers told them not to shout Or quarrel as they played. “I’m glad they’ve got that sorted out Before they start first grade.” |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 25 Oct 23 - 01:55 AM Truly inspiring, Holly. I'm going to have to think about "I'm Not a Boy" for a while. -Joe, who has occasionally worked at Livermore- |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Chris Wright Date: 25 Oct 23 - 04:21 PM Holly - I've been trying to get in touch with you for a few months. Wondered if you'd mind dropping me a message? info@chriswright.scot Thanks in advance! |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,Somebody's Wrong on the Net Date: 24 Oct 23 - 01:58 AM Somebody's Wrong Words: F the Ineffable Tune: Rosin the Bow (also known as Acres of Clams) It’s 2 o’clock in the morning I haven’t gone to bed yet Gotta sit here at the laptop, 'cause Somebody’s wrong on the Net. Somebody's wrong on the net Somebody's wrong on the Net I know I’m right, so I’ll stay up all night Somebody's wrong on the Net. Some of the listfolk are normal Some are old hippies and freaks Some spend their time reading gobbledegook Upchucked by gobbledegeeks. Somebody's wrong on the Net Somebody's wrong on the Net Peevish and mean, they scream at the screen Somebody's wrong on the Net. Once I was wrong about something How could I ever forget All of those guys who informed me That I was wrong on the Net. One fellow said I was stupid One fellow told me I sucked I sent a witty rejoinder Telling them both to get a life. Somebody's wrong on the Net Somebody's wrong on the Net Stuck in their bubble, they love making trouble Somebody's wrong on the Net. |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,Sometimes An Eggplant Date: 24 Oct 23 - 02:00 AM Sometimes An Eggplant Words: The Aubergenius Tune: Bold Doherty Sometimes an eggplant is only an eggplant, Perfectly normal and not at all queer. Purple and shiny and moist and delicious Like the fat aubergine I’m holding here. Singing Aubergine-ay, auberginarity Auberginarity Aubergine-ay. Can’t an emoji be just an emoji? Why can’t an inkblot be only a blot? Why can’t a word be a single entendre? And why should I care if it’s single or not? Sometimes a symbol is only a symbol If we have two we can make a big noise. We’ll buy an eggplant and cook a moussaka, Cheesy Greek meatloaf for fat-bottomed boys Who sing Aubergine-ay, auberginarity Auberginarity Aubergine-ay. I wear my aubergines over my undergines I tuck my undergines into my socks Under my turtleneck I carry turtles, all Cleverly fastened with bagels and locks. Next time you look at a peach or papaya Don’t think of genitals, butthole or tush. When you imagine a big purple eggplant Pray to your guru, old Baba Ghanoush. Singing Aubergine-ay, auberginarity Auberginarity Aubergine-ay. |
Subject: I'm Not A Boy From: GUEST,Holly Date: 24 Oct 23 - 02:05 AM I’m Not A Boy Words: F the Ineffable Tune: The Yellow Rose of Texas or any good tune I‘m not a boy, said little Fred Dylan’s OCD I’m ADHD, Joni said, And Paul is gluten-free. Kay said, I’m going to be a geek And work at Livermore Jim cried, I am a Jesus freak Said Kurt, I worship Thor. Their mothers told them not to shout Or quarrel as they played. “I’m glad they’ve got that sorted out Before they start first grade.” |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 25 Oct 23 - 01:55 AM Truly inspiring, Holly. I'm going to have to think about "I'm Not a Boy" for a while. -Joe, who has occasionally worked at Livermore- |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Chris Wright Date: 25 Oct 23 - 04:21 PM Holly - I've been trying to get in touch with you for a few months. Wondered if you'd mind dropping me a message? info@chriswright.scot Thanks in advance! |
Subject: ADD: Doin’ It Doggy Style (Holly Tannen) From: GUEST,Holly (by email) Date: 02 Jan 24 - 06:56 PM First sploem of 2024! I hope the Arabic and Hebrew don’t get disinformatted. Doin’ It Doggy Style Words: F the Ineffable Tune: Puttin' On The Style, traditional American folk song As I walked down Big River Beach Upon a New Year’s Day, To wash my feet and watch the birds And mammals sport and play. Pelicans and western gulls And cormorants and seals Plunging in the water Snatching up their happy meals. I sat upon a log to write, It always makes me smile Watching people and their pups Who do it doggy style. Doin’ it doggy style Doin’ it doggy style People and their puppy dogs All doin’ it doggy style A cute substandard poodle Gaily splashing in the waves A dauntless goldendoodle Boldly snurfling through the caves. Begging beagles hoping for A tidbit or a meal Queensland heelers looking for A lonely lamb to heal. As I walked down Big River Beach One February day A chick and her chihuahua Stood there shivering in the spray. “I bought a silk-lined woolen coat For my sweet precious pet He got knocked over by a wave And now he’s soaking wet.” Al estilo perrito Al estilo perrito En la playa lo hacen Al estilo perrito. As I walked out at lunchtime In the merry month of May A lady with a Labrador To me these words did say: “I’m sorry that he licked you I’m sorry he jumped up I’m sorry that he knocked you down, He’s 5, he’s just a pup.” Twas on a fine June morning I rambled on the sand. A doctor gave his Doberman A sit and stay command. Wir lieben Große Flussstrand Wir kommen jedes Jahr Wir waren heute Mittag dort Betrunken in Dick's Bar. As I strolled down Big River Beach One foggy August day A woman with no dogs at all To me these words did say I haven’t seen seen my elkhounds Odin, Freya, Thor, and Loki Since I sang Sound of Silence At the Clearlake karaoke. Hater du Lyden av Stillhet, Odin, Loke, Freya, Thor? Var musikken for høy for deg? Jeg lurer på hvor du er. As I walked out one morning On a bright September day A surfer with a Malinois To me these words did say Jean-Jacques adore courir le long De la Grande Rivière Je ne le tiens jamais en laisse Aux plages de la mer. Mashit ealaa tul alshaati One cold November day A displaced Palestinian In Arabic did say كيمكنك إحضار لوح ركوب الأمواج الخاص ب ةاشرب كوكا كولا أو بير ةالوضع هنا أكثر أمانًا من غز اأعتقد أنني سأبقى هن And as I ate my sandwich, hard- Boiled egg on whole wheat bread A kind Israeli couple looked up From their phones and said םהפסוק הזה לא אומר כלו וגוגל תרגום ניסה כמיטב יכולת אבל זה עדיין מגוחך. גרמתי לך להסתכל! עושה את זה בסגנון כלבלב עושה את זה בסגנון כלבלב יש יותר מדי שמוץ בקיבוץ אז נישאר כאן לזמן מה You can bring your surfboard Take a drink or take a toke You can watch the sunset With the local doggy folk You can wander by yourself Or stop and chat a while You don’t have to have a dog To do it doggy style. Hope you will create lots of what you love in 2024. Holly Friendship is a sheltering tree Bud and blossom, branch and fruit Kind and kindred souls agree Green the stem and deep the root. |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 02 Jan 24 - 07:07 PM Holly's now posting her songs at her blog, https://hollyblog2.wordpress.com/ -Joe- |
Subject: ADD: Blue-Eyed Boy (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 17 Feb 24 - 12:15 AM By email from Holly 16 Feb 2024:
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Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GerryM Date: 17 Feb 24 - 05:50 AM Roy Cohn went to my high school. |
Subject: ADD: Seize ‘Em, Squeeze 'Em (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 22 Feb 24 - 03:02 PM Seize ‘Em, Squeeze 'Em Words: Fatguru Baba Ganoush Tune: Leave Her, Johnny, Leave Her, traditional shanty Oh I thought I heard Letitia say Seize his assets, seize ‘em Wise Ms. James has won the day And it’s time for us to seize ‘em. Seize ‘em, Ms. James, seize ‘em all Seize his assets, seize ‘em That was one good judgment call And it’s time for us to seize ‘em. If he says he cannot pay Seize ‘em, Ms. James, seize ‘em Haul his big fat assets away ‘Cause it’s time for us to seize ‘em. Thought I heard Letitia say “Seize that building, seize it. I see 40 Wall Street every day, And it’s time for us to seize it.” Oh it ’s weigh, hay, haul ‘em away Seize his assets, seize ‘em Wise Ms. James goin’ to make him pay And it’s time for us to seize ‘em His appeals we’ll disallow Seize that building, seize it Got Fattie Assets by the scrotus now And it’s time for us to squeeze it. Blindly leading* the blind, Deafly leading the deaf, Fatguru Baba Ganoush(my new sobriquet)*or perhaps following SCROTUS: So-Called Ruler of the United States |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 01 Apr 24 - 11:35 AM Need cheering up? Holly has a new blog, with lyrics to many of her songs. https://hollyblog2.wordpress.com/ |
Subject: ADD: Goin Native (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 01 May 24 - 03:59 PM Here's Holly's latest creation. It’s May Eve, known in Ireland as Bealtaine, in England as Beltane. Ever notice that May first and Halloween are exactly six months apart? These holidays split the year into two seasons. Smallholders in northern Europe would take their cattle to mountain and moorland pastures with the coming of fair weather, and bring them back home for winter. Beltane or Bealtaine is the Gaelic May Day festival, marking the beginning of summer. It is traditionally held on 1 May... midway between the spring equinox and summer solstice...widely observed in Ireland, Scotland, and the Isle of Man. ... Beltane is one of the four main Celtic seasonal festivals, along with Samhain, Imbolc, and Lughnasadh. Beltane...marked the beginning of summer, when cattle were driven out to the summer pastures. Rituals were performed to protect cattle, people and crops, and to encourage growth. Special bonfires were kindled, whose flames, smoke and ashes were deemed to have protective powers. People and their cattle would walk around or between bonfires, and sometimes leap over the flames or embers. Household fires would be doused, and re-lit from the Beltane bonfire. These gatherings would be accompanied by a feast, and some of the food and drink would be offered to the sidhe, the fairies. Doors, windows, byres and livestock would be decorated with yellow May flowers...In parts of Ireland, people would make a May Bush: typically a thorn bush or branch decorated with flowers, ribbons, bright shells and rushlights. Holy wells were also visited, while Beltane dew was thought to bring beauty and maintain youthfulness. -Wikipedia (The best source of information is Kevin Danaher’s historical/geographical survey The Year In Ireland. https://www.amazon.com/Year-Ireland-Kevin-Danaher/dp/1856350932) One of the oldest songs I know is an Irish maying song, Thugamar féin an samhradh linn, “we are bringing the summer with us…yellow summer of the golden daisies.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8JKyYjaz4g Berkeley Morris Dancers and neo-pagan roisterers still dance the sun up every May morning at Inspiration Point. Goin’ Native Words: ©1996 Aurora Borealis Medicine Turkey Tune: Makin’ Whoopee, ©1928 Walter Donaldson and Gus Kahn In honor of folklorist/anthropologist Sabina Magliocco, who studied Neo-pagan ritual in the San Francisco Bay area. Our article “The Real Old-Time Religion: Towards an Aesthetic of Neo-Pagan Song” was published in the Canadian journal Ethnologies (1998) and is referenced in her book Witching Culture: Folklore and Neo-Paganism in America. (University of Pennsylvania Press, 2004.) Another Beltane Another May Another folklorist Has come to stay She thinks it’s thrilling That we’re so willing She’s goin’ native. She’s got her abstract She’s got her chant She’s learned a Neo-pagan chant The news is leaking Her mother’s freaking She’s goin’ native. Picture a sweet young scholar Getting her PhD Picture that same young scholar After a year or three. She’s going sky-clad And riding brooms She’s doing strange things With mushrooms Tell her professor He can’t suppress her She’s goin’ native. |
Subject: RE: ADD: Songs of the Ancient Matriarch (Holly Tannen) From: GerryM Date: 01 May 24 - 06:15 PM Rhyming "chant" with "chant" in verse 2? Surely not. |
Subject: ADD: The Mendo Blues Again (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 05 Jul 24 - 01:16 AM Another submission by Mendocino's finest! Probably best understood by us Northern Californians. The Mendo Blues Again Wyrds: Fatguru Baba Ghanoush Tune: Bob Dylan, Stuck Outside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kh6K_-a0c4 Oh, the flagman waves in circles Up and down the road I’d ask him what the matter was But I know that he’d explode And the hardhats treat me kindly And offer me a grape But here inside my Honda I know I can’t escape Oy, Caltrans, can this really be the end? To be stuck here on this highway With the Mendo Blues again Now my main man gave me two cures And he said, sit right here One was Humboldt medicine The other was just home-brewed beer And like a shmuck I chugged them And they muggled up my brain And now Fort Bragg just gets uglier And I have no sense of pain Oy, Caltrans, can this really be the end? To be stuck here on this highway With the Mendo Blues again Grandma died last week And I bet she’d be pissed If she had any inkling of How little she’d be missed But me, I expected it to happen Since she’s been plagued by trolls She threw her phone down Main Street And shot it full of holes Oy, Caltrans, am I going round the bend? I’m stuck here on this highway With the Mendo blues again. |
Subject: Revise: The Mendo Blues Again (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 06 Jul 24 - 08:32 PM I have a hard time thinking of Holly as an Ancient Matriarch. A Timeless Matriarch, perhaps. Anyhow, she had nothing to do over the Fourth of July holiday, so she revised her song. Hello! How was your Fourth of July? Did you march in the Charade, watch it, judge it, go to the headlands, get stuck in traffic, eat things you knew weren’t good for you? Or did you stay home and hide under the bed? I sequestered myself in my study. I hung a suet cake on the porch and watched the Steller’s jays duke it out with the acorn woodies. I sang a Bulgarian song with my canary Blondel. Then I sat down at my desk and addressed an issue noted by an astute reader: my song parody, Mendo Blues Again was much shorter than the original. So I’ve added a couple verses and revised the chorus. The Mendo Blues Again Wyrds: Fatguru Baba Ghanoush Tune: Bob Dylan, Stuck Outside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kh6K_-a0c4 Oh, the flagman waves in circles Up and down the road I’d ask him what the matter was But I know that he’d explode And the hardhats treat me kindly And offer me a grape (alternatively: And I offer them a grape) But here inside my Honda I know I can’t escape Oy, Caltrans, can this really be the end? To be stuck here on this highway With the Mendo Blues again Now my main man gave me two cures And he said, sit right here One was Humboldt medicine The other was just home-brewed beer And like a shmuck I chugged them And it muggled up my brain And now Fort Bragg just gets uglier And I have no sense of pain Oy, Caltrans, can this really be the end? Do you think the drivers sitting here Have endless time to spend? Taylor Swift, she's in the alley With her high-heeled shoes and her bell Singing with some Caspar crone Who says she knows me well And I would send a message And tell her, “Get thee hence," But the Post Office is raising First class mail now by 5 cents Oy, Caltrans, is this really how it ends To be stuck here on this highway And I can’t find my Depends Rhoda said come see her She was swimming in the bay Taking selfies with the gray whales Till the whales swam away And I say, “Aw, come on now You know about my friend the seal And she says, "Your silkie just knows what you want But I know what you feel" Grandma died last week And I bet she’d be pissed If she had any inkling of How little she’d be missed But me, I expected it to happen Since she’s been plagued by trolls She threw her phone down Main Street And shot it full of holes Oy, Caltrans, am I going round the bend? I’m stuck here on this highway With the Mendo blues again. |
Subject: Battle Hymn of International Subversives(Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 15 Jul 24 - 06:12 PM The Battle Hymn of the International Subversives Words ©2011 Holly Tannen Tune: The Battle Hymn of the Republic https://hollyblog2.wordpress.com/2024/06/29/676/ There were three gallant Aussie lads who formed a strong alliance Against the Yankee nukes they were united in defiance. One said, I’ll tackle NASA – it can’t be rocket science The truth shall piss them off. CHORUS: International Subversives, International Subversives, International Subversives, The truth shall piss them off. It was a bright October day in 1989 The brass at Cape Canaveral was feeling might fine. Systems all were Go and everybody was online The truth shall piss them off. Back in the antipodes the world was fast asleep A spotty teenage hacker dude began his midnight creep. He opened up the system files of NASA for a peep The truth shall piss them off. He entered in a backdoor with a simple-minded wank: Elegant and innocent, a harmless little prank, And easier to open than his brother’s piggy bank. The truth shall piss them off. Suddenly across the screen of every engineer Flashed a string of crazy code, it filled their hearts with fear: As one by one they watched their precious programs disappear. The truth shall piss them off. There was no joy at NASA, the FBI was vexed. They swore to one another that the system had been hexed. The hacker chortled gleefully, “The Pentagon is next.” The truth shall piss them off. His mother said, “I think you should go out and get some sun.” He said, “I’d rather stay here, Ma, I’m having too much fun.” Then the coppers burst in with a warrant and a gun. The truth shall piss them off. He had to put a suit on and he had to go to court. He tied his hair behind his ears but wouldn’t cut it short, And just before the trial he hacked the constables’ report. The truth shall piss them off. His lawyer said, “My client is as pure as driven snow. It’s only youthful high-jinks, sure it’s something he’ll outgrow. He hasn’t damaged anything,” and so they let him go. The truth shall piss them off. In a warren full of wombats he was born across the sea With a fierce and fiery intellect that boggles you and me, Singing “Courage is contagious, information must be free.” The truth shall piss them off. |
Subject: ADD: Witches for Kamala (Holly Tannen) From: Joe Offer Date: 28 Oct 24 - 12:03 PM Witches for Kamala by Aurora Borealis Medicine Turkey Ten days till election, and all through the coven, The wymmyn were fixing a feast in the oven. Poached pygmy hippo and blanched kangaroo, Hummingbirducken and fruit-loop fondue, Fricasseed froggies and kraken croquettes, Barbecued jellyfish spread on baguettes. French-fries served up by a senile old fart, Stormy beef jerky, Melania tart, Ivanka donut holes, Eric sauté, And the goggle-eyed ghost of Roy Cohn flambé. Flash-frozen newt eyes, sea cucumber slurry, Sprinkled atop J.D.Vance’s pork curry. And sweetly steaming among these comestibles, Elon Musk’s weenie and Jeff Epstein’s testicles. East, south, west, north! The circle was cast, In hopes that the Goddess would be there at last. When out by the hot tub I heard such a clatter I flung down my phone to see what was the matter. And what did I spy in the blackberry thorns But a dripping wet Goddess and eight unicorns. “I was just sitting down with my vibrating phallus And this app they call Grindr. You girlchiks are callous, "I came when you called, over all my objections And got lost in the woods, thanks to Google Directions. You nudniks invoked me, now look at my dress! My period’s late and I’ve got PMS.” She cursed and she mumbled, she looked like a wreck The unicorns shuddered and shat on the deck. So we gave her some shrooms and we got her some grub, Gave her hot towels and she soaked in the tub. Then she rose, hot and dripping, and gave us her blessing And jumped in her chariot, without even dressing! “On Isis, Astarte, Erzulie, Parvati! Kuan Yin, Stella Maris, Shekhinah, Hecate!” We heard her exclaim “Oy gevalt!” And I quote: “Witches for Kamala - get out and vote!” Holly, what's the tune for this? It seems to scan to the tune of "Who Were the Witches." |
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