BS: Things Mom used to say

Subject: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 11:23 AM

CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 11:33 AM

"Never wish that Time would pass more quickly. It will pass, oh it will pass, and the End will come, faster than you think!" my little pretties

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 11:41 AM

Well, then, I'm a liar. (When told she was wrong about *anything* by one of us kids.)

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 11:46 AM

My mother and I had a complicated relationship as a result of my father's victimizationion of each of us (and my siblings), and other factors. During my pregnancy we found new common ground and much had healed, so for a few years we happily and effectively co-parented, and I have a great son to show how far that healing had gone.

She had one saying though that I never got to tell her had been extremely hurtful. She'd say, as she saw me dishing up a bowl from the end of the pot, "I can tell YOU'VE never been hungry!"

In fact I had, and often during the years she'd been the responsible adult who was supposed to be sure I WASN'T hungry. This painfully echoes in my mind every time I scrape out a pot now, but I do that less and less. Because the sensible thing for a poor person to do with the dry leaving in a pot is to add things to make soup, which I do often, and which she never learned to do.

I think now that her saying was a Depression-era holdover she'd heard from her own inadequate, politely alcoholic mother.

So we overcome, generation by generation, doing the best we can to improve on the ways we were raised.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 11:54 AM

"One day you will have a child like yourself. That will be your punishment"
universal curse

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 12:11 PM

"If you don't stop calling 'Mom!', I'm going to change my name to 'Shit'! Then, when you call me, I'm going to beat your ass for cussing!"

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 12:15 PM

I made sure I never complained about difficulties that two small kids could present - because Mom had four of us in six years.

We all were unhappy about the blinders she wore as a heavy smoker. The one that was the most hurtful response when we asked her not to smoke in our bedrooms was "It's my house."

But there were lots of smart things, helpful things over the years. I just wish I could remember some of them as clearly as the negative stuff. Taken as a whole, she was a good mom and a very good person. She was a storyteller, so I suspect part of the reason one particular saying doesn't occur to me now is because she had so many things to say.

We had some negotiations as children and parent over the years - when we were quite young she made it clear that if we wanted a blackberry pie from all of the berries along the back fence, we had to pick them, she wasn't going to. And knowing what I know now about the generally time-consuming features of making a pie from scratch, I have to applaud how she always came through if we kids between ourselves decided there were enough berries for a pie. We'd compare our buckets and always pick a few slightly green ones, that was somehow important to the pie results. That night for dinner, pie for dessert!

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 12:27 PM

Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry for.
They're not posh, her mother used to mangle our treacle.
Well,I'll go to the foot of our stairs.
Eat it up, there are children starving in India/it'll make your hair curl.

RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Acorn4
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 12:35 PM

You know what "thought"did *******himself because he thought he was on the toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 12:52 PM

We'll see. I'll give you something to cry about! Just wait until we get home! NO!

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Senoufou
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 01:30 PM

We used to get, "Wait til your father comes home!" all the time. The poor man would totter in after a long day's work and have to smack bottoms before he'd even taken his overcoat off.

Also, if one spilled some salt, she'd tell us, "Throw a pinch over your left shoulder to shame the devil." (Apparently it was Lucifer who made people spill salt)

If there was a thunderstorm, she'd get us to turn all mirrors to the wall and put knives and scissors away, to stop them 'attracting the lightning.'

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 01:34 PM

Fond memories of my mother, when asked, "What's for dinner" would reply "Cow's cock and hairy bacon
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Senoufou
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 01:35 PM

Ah Roger, with us it was those blooming African children who would chop an arm off to have the lovely fat and gristle we hated.
I wondered why she didn't send it to them then!

Donuel, um...did we have the same mother? :)

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: David C. Carter
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 01:42 PM

My mother lost her sister,struck by lightning.

She did the same thing as Senoufou's mother if there was a storm.


If anybody left a door open,she'd say"Were you born in a field"

My aanswer was"I don't know,you tell me.You were there at the time!"

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: meself
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 01:44 PM

"Drop dead!"

Which, one day, after many years, when I thought about it, struck me as a tad harsh coming from one's mother. Never bothered us, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Acorn4
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 01:46 PM

" I suppose I'll have to suffer in silence as usual!"

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Senoufou
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 01:47 PM

"Don't care was made to care, don't care was hung.
Don't care was put in a pot and boiled til she was done!"

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Senoufou
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 01:51 PM

"You're useless, hopeless, clueless and helpless!"

"Stop walking like a ruptured duck!"

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Charmion
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 03:17 PM

“Stand up straight and look as if you belong to somebody!”

Later, when the drill corporal harangued us about parade posture, that was what I heard.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 03:41 PM

Senofou my mom had a version of yours. The title here doesn't say 'Things my mom used to say :^/


Some of these sayings go back several generations.

First time I heard mom cuss, "shit fire and save matches"

"A mortgage is just a way of making you pay soley interest for 15 years so thay can say you haven't paid a cent for their house in year 14." If you have trouble they can take the house." she taught us to pay cash

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 04:05 PM

I want doesn't get
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: fat B****rd
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 05:19 PM

Looking at my (hated by me)curlyish hair "Ee,wavy enough to make you seasick".

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Senoufou
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 05:47 PM

I was often told I had "quarter-to-three feet" (I had slight rickets and walked oddly to compensate)

If one sees a lone magpie, one should spit or sorrow will follow. Two together are fine, and portend something good.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Acorn4
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 07:07 PM

Remember to Change your Underpants

(done in Johnny Cash type voice)

Johnny was born in a tumbledown shack
Near a landfill site by the old railtrack,
There were 16 kids slept in one fleapit bed,
Outside toilet thirty miles way,
Life was a struggle every day,
They were fighting over a mean ole crust of bread.

Now daddy got wild and daddy got drunk
Daddy watched “Big Brother” and daddy did a bunk,
Mama was left a holding them sixteen brats,
But 15 of them kids went to that home in the sky,
Cos of eating mama’s home-made roadkill pie,
Leaving just Johnny and his mama and one old mangy cat
(even the goat died of food poisoning!)

Now Johnny grew up, his mama’s pride and joy,
She said “son, you’re gonna go to college, my boy”,
Packed up his suitcase and went to say “goodbye”
And said, “son, you’re gonna be a big success
Gonna come back and make your ole ma a millionairess”
Johnny thought he saw a little bitty tear in his mama’s eye…

She said “now you’re a man, my son,
I can’t be there to wipe your nose,
You gotta survive in that big wide wicked world
You never know how that world will throw of the dice,
So I’m gonna give you some sound advice
And Johnny never forgot his mama’s words…

Chorus: Remember to change your underpants
In case you have an accident
And those people in the ambulance
What will they think of me?
And you wont get through those pearly gates
With your crusties in a two and eight,
So always put on a clean pair every day.

Well he grew up wild and he grew up mean,
But he always kept that gusset clean,
Though his teeth went yellow and his hair grew long and greasy as hell,
He said “Ma, I’m gonna take meejah studies”,
And “tell me where the nearest pub is”
Moved into grubby bedsit and after a month you could practically see the smell.

You’d think lying in that cesspit all day,
His pants would have got up and walked away,
But his mama’s words could penetrate through that grime,
And at the merest hint of sweat,
Johnny was off down the local launderette,
And be back in the saddle ready for pub opening time

There were wild,wild women and booze and fags,
And certain substances and certain mags,
He only went to 5 lectures in three years,
And all among the empty cans, the heavy metal and the smoke,
And the final demands and the bogeys and the stale farts and the dope,
His mama’s words still echoed in his ears.

Chorus : Remember to change your underpants...

No one knows if Johnny’s alive or dead,
He was last seen with a traffic cone on his head,
Probably came out with a third class honours degree,
Don’t know if he ever got back ,
To his mama and that ole run down shack,
But if he did you can be sure his pants were clean.

Well, Johnny must have made out OK I guess,
Probably selling life insurance way out west,
With a wife and kids and a mortgage I hope he made out alright,
But if he’s dead I’d like to think,
That Zanussi didn’t make his y-fronts shrink,
And went to heaven without a skidmark in sight.

So remember to change your underpants

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 08:07 PM

Silversteinesque Ha

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Feb 19 - 10:44 PM

Mom always felt that commenting on the traffic would make it turn undriveable. Once we were going somewhere and I commented on how nice the traffic was, and we rounded a curve and came to a dead stop in not-going traffic. Mom turns to me and says, ruminatively, I wonder if you killed someone.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: BobL
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 03:47 AM

"Mum, what's for tea?"
"A ton of lead and the Atlantic Ocean"
i.e. weight and sea

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 03:55 AM

My mother was a gentle, kind hard-working lady who, when my father fell ill and eventually died went to work in a local frozen-food factory and picked up much of the in-your-face humour that Liverpool was renowned for - she was a pleasure to be with
When I first started to sing and began to practice around the house she once remarked; "If you were singing for shit you wouldn't get the smell of it"
I still get a warm glow from remembering it
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 08:09 AM

Mom spoke English with a Hungarian accent overlaid with Serbian, German and French. When asked where her accent came from, she answered, It comes from trying to speak English!

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Senoufou
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 08:34 AM

Haha Mrrzy! When my husband's cleaning colleagues (mostly middle-aged women) tell him to "Speak blooming English!" he counters it with, "You don't speak English. You speak Norfolk!" They usually shriek with laughter and flick a duster at him.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Joe_F
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 05:49 PM

"Binna bear dabitcha" = "If it had been a bear, it would have bitten you". Said when you asked after something that was right under your nose.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Senoufou
Date: 15 Feb 19 - 06:29 PM

It does sound as though most mothers years ago were much stricter, tougher and stood no nonsense.
We were left in no doubt as to who was in charge, and parents didn't hesitate to put us right if necessary.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: banjoman
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 07:12 AM

" Her mother used to do our washing" was my mother's response to anyone who she felt was putting on airs and graces or alternatively "Its a pity she shits or she'd be in the waxworks"

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 07:19 AM

Yeah like "he wouldn't say shit if he had a mouthful"

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Mr Red
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 07:23 AM

A whimwom for a wowser.

If we asked what she had brought/bought and didn't want to tell us.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 07:33 AM

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and seem a fool. that open it and remove all doubt."

I got this one alot

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 08:08 AM

If it was a snake it woulda bitcha, you can't miss a bear. Not mom, that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 12:11 PM

When confronted with one of us telling her a tale she would say 'are you sure you're telling lies?'. :-)

What's for tea was always 'three jumps at t'cupboard door and a bite o't'knob.' Never figured that one out.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 12:12 PM

I think my mom stole her saying from Lincoln.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: fat B****rd
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 01:18 PM

"He used to fetch our swill".

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: leeneia
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 02:07 PM

When we did something slightly risky, she would exclaim "Why mothers get gray!"

Years later, we were in a Chinese restaurant, and I urged mother and father to split an order, since the portions were huge. She wouldn't, and when more food came than they could eat, she acted shocked. I said, "Why daughters get gray!", and she declared that she had never said that in her life. Sure she had.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Senoufou
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 02:49 PM

I've posted about this before, but maybe someone might know what it means:-
My mother often said things like "You've been playing in the mud again allowan!"
Or, "She's sickening for something allowan."

Another person might say, "I'll be bound".
But where/what was 'allowan'?? (Bearing in mind she was from Cork in Ireland)
Any ideas?

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Jos
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 03:28 PM

'Allowan' could be 'I'll own'.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: gnu
Date: 16 Feb 19 - 07:06 PM

Ask your father. (= No.)

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 07:50 AM

Ask your father meant Yes but I won't take responsibility. Dad was way more of a pushover.

I'll be disappointed in you meant I'd like to say No but you're gonna do it anyway probably so have some guilt. Worked a treat, most days.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 09:25 AM

"Will you get out from under my feet. You're sticking to me like shit to a blanket."

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: G-Force
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 09:40 AM

(On a day of blue skies with patchy cloud): There's enough blue to make a Dutch boy a pair of trousers.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Senoufou
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 10:08 AM

If I whined that I'd hurt my leg, she'd say, "God gave you a spare one so stop grumbling!"

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 10:36 AM

If anybody left a door open,she'd say"Were you born in a field"

Even though English and not Welsh speaking, mum (still alive and I live with my parents) would often use the Welsh “cau'r drws” to ask for a door closed. Paid (pronounced pied like the colouring) meaning “don’t” was used a fair bit in childhood.

Subject: RE: BS: Things Mom used to say
From: Jos
Date: 17 Feb 19 - 11:01 AM

G-force - My grandmother used to say that if there was enough blue to make a sailor a pair of trousers, the rest of the day would be sunny.