BS: Change of sex prior to 18

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: robomatic
Date: 20 Mar 19 - 11:27 AM

There's a great scifi story from the 50s by Robert Heinlein where a girl grows up, joins the service, is seduced and impregnated, has a baby, and is told in the recovery ward that she was born a hermaphrodite, and after the pregnancy her female set of organs are useless, so the surgeons have taken the male organs and set them up to see if they will develop, which they do. The newly male narrator now joins the time service, and in the course of his adventures goes back in time and seduces him/herself. At the end of the story he addresses the world: "I know who I am, but who are all you zombies?"
The story is worth reading because it also contains the BYLAWS OF TIME.

Which brings me to my question: Say you have gender dysphoria. Rather then go through a lot of major plumbing changes, what if there was a pill that could change your mind? Wouldn't that be as acceptable a solution? Mind you, I'm not saying such a pill exists, or even is possible. But wouldn't it be worth it to find out?

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 19 Mar 19 - 09:41 PM

Are you talking bollocks here, Kevin?

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Mar 19 - 09:21 PM

A music related issue. Can we expect to see F to M transgender opera singers reviving the lost category of Castrati?

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: BobL
Date: 19 Mar 19 - 03:05 AM

I was reading the other day (in a respectable daily, don't know if it's true) of a trans male who, presumably not having undergone surgery, conceived and gave birth. However, self-identifying as a man, he objected to being described on legal documents as the child's "mother".

Pure Gilbertianism.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Mar 19 - 09:41 AM

Right... But they have functional vaginas not made out of adult penises is all I was saying. Now to make a functioning penis is a whole [get it?] nother problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Jeri
Date: 18 Mar 19 - 09:12 AM

Successful = working. If you were talking to me, Mrrzy, I was NOT talking about "ambiguous babies". I was talking about m to f bottom surgery.

The babies, I think, should be allowed to grow up a bit and figure out who they are first. The reason we force them into either/or is because WE feel uncomfortable with it.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Mar 19 - 08:25 AM

Um, define successful there. The turning of ambiguous babies into functional girls would belie that.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Mar 19 - 07:37 PM

Technicalities: I've watched "I Am Jazz" and it seems one has to have grown an adult penis to have a successful vagina, if one has bottom surgery. That requires going through puberty, which means secondary sex characteristics like an Adam's apple and voice changes.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Mar 19 - 06:36 PM

Almost every. I was well into my 50s before figuring out what I wasn't.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: ranger1
Date: 17 Mar 19 - 01:27 PM

The Sandman - I knew I was different before I hit preschool. My mother recognized it when I was a toddler. As for physically transitioning, I firmly believe that everyone has the right to do it before 18, but not without counseling, both for child and guardians. You don't just hand someone the keys to a car without teaching them how to drive at 16. It's kind of the same idea. I would have loved to have been able to talk to a counselor about issues as a teen, but unfortunately, much less was known about gender identity when I was a teen, and I grew up in a small, rural town that wasn't exactly open and welcoming to people who were different. Some trans people are comfortable without ever having any physical alterations done. Some of us are not. it helps if you think of gender as a spectrum, rather than an either/or thing. And yes, I'm pretty certain that every trans person knows that they're trans before they hit the age of 18.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Mar 19 - 10:38 AM

Babies born with ambiguous genitals are usually assigned to female at birth, surgery being deemed cosmetic. For half of these babies that is an incorrect choice. Has that stopped?

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: The Sandman
Date: 16 Mar 19 - 04:55 AM

RANGER1,I ask these questions to learn more they are personal and i understand if you do not want to answer
at what age did you realise?
do you defintely know that every transgender person always knows before they are 18.
do you not think it illogical that you cannot vote in an election until you are 18?
but you can make life changing decisions which are irreversible.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: ranger1
Date: 15 Mar 19 - 10:41 PM

Being trans myself, and only recently having come out about it publicly at the age of 48, I can tell you that we know what we are well before the age of 18. Your brain tells you one thing, your body presents as something different. Think of it as your brain and your body are cross-wired, if you will.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: The Sandman
Date: 15 Mar 19 - 02:50 PM

the argument aginst people having transgender change treatment before 18, is that it is difficult to reverse. it seems to me illogical that people are not allowed to vote but can have treatment before they are 18.
please do not misunderstand me ,i am not in any way against transgender people or anybody making that decision to have medical treatment once they are 18,but is it not a more important decision than being allowed to vote canot anybody see the complete illogicality of not being allowed to vote until you are 18 , yet children can have treatment for a sex change. i am not an expert on this subject and if i have my facts wrong then i do not mind being corrected.
I do also understand tthat parents who love their children and are concerned for them allow this to happen, and i am not intending to criticse anybody, i do not know how i would deal with the situation if i was in that position as a parent, because any parent wants tthe best for their children.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 15 Mar 19 - 02:30 PM

"I'm all for not sharing a public lav with "creepy creeps" but I have yet to meet a transexual who fits that."

Amen to that, Joanne. Absolutely right on the nail.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: CupOfTea
Date: 15 Mar 19 - 02:11 PM

The orignal issue - sex change before adulthood - with greater awareness that emotional gender identification is sometimes at odds with physical presentation means this disparity can be acknowledged by parents and doctors earlier in life. It becomes more difficult to dismiss the girlchild who believes they ought to be male as "just a tomboy" & a stage to be outgrown. Puberty hits earlier in each generation & making the physical (surgical, hormonal) transition early is better for the trans person in the long run. The physical presentation then more is likely to be "passing" as cisgender, and unlikely to upset people who are examining the features of others sharing the same public facilities.

Being trans isnt a choice, but what to do about it, is. The wish that comes up again and again is to be just another person, "as I am" A lovely wee girl I enjoyed watching grow up has become an interesting college guy, and the pleasure I take in their company, or the things we talk about have not changed - same person. What HAS changed is that they are happier, more self confident, more open to parents, less unsettled, less shamed.

I'm all for not sharing a public lav with "creepy creeps" but I have yet to meet a transexual who fits that.

Joanne in Cleveland

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 01:43 PM

Ok, I be good.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 01:17 PM

Behave!! :-) :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 01:06 PM

We spell that Humor over here...

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 01:02 PM

Ha-ha! I knew that, Mrrzy! It's quite difficult though, trying to explain without getting into...errrrmmm...'toilet humour'! :-) :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 12:40 PM

Oh, backwoodsman, sorry! Separated by a common language again!

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 12:29 PM

"Nothing to see here, move along please..."!!

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 11:35 AM

Not of yourself demonstrating uses of, one hopes...

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 11:24 AM

SRS - "If you're afraid of creepy men in the bathroom, sobeit. But they have nothing to do with trans women using the bathroom."

Absolutely agree.

Mrrzy - "Backwoodsman, no I can't. Pooping takes the same equipment. That is why I asked. A urinal is a urinal, not a male toilet"

OK, replace the word 'toilet' in my original post with 'bathroom' - therefore a male toilet is the men's 'bathroom', and a female toilet is the women's 'bathroom'. Whilst women's toilets contain only enclosed, seated WCs, men's toilets have open, standing urinals and enclosed, seated WCs.

Here in the UK, a bathroom is where you go to take a bath. Nobody would use the term 'bathroom' (or even 'rest-room') to refer to a facility specifically for the purpose of urination and defecation. If there's no bath, it's not a bathroom!

Hope that clarifies? I can draw pictures if necessary! ;-) :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Mar 19 - 10:25 AM

Backwoodsman, no, I can't. Pooping takes the same equipment. That is why I asked. A urinal is a urinal, not a male toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 11:58 AM

This is just to say that I feel very sad about
"the kind and funny old lady on the park bench."

I quite understand that a full-on discussion of ideas
is going to result in some categorical statements about
whether or not a point of view is valid.

Would any of us, however, if the park-bench lady (you know who I mean -- and she could stand for many other middle-age-or-older people)
were here in person,
would we fail to be gracious in manner to the person,
however much we disagree with her opinion?
That's all.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 10:54 AM

This thread had taken the trajectory of the debate that many laws intending to benefit trans people run into. Fear of strangers in the bathroom has nothing to do with letting trans people use the bathroom that fits their needs and comfort.

The same way the old arguments used to be about gay men and the fear that they were more likely to be pedophiles (nope), the same is the case with trans people.

If you're afraid of creepy men in the bathroom, sobeit. But they have nothing to do with trans women using the bathroom.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 10 Mar 19 - 05:58 AM

"besandalled" - I couldn't possibly comment!

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 10:54 PM

Now a woman would have trouble swirching stalls midstream... Even in a skirt!

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 07:52 PM

It's a serious topic and we really shouldn't be going off on this tangent, but I can't resist telling you about the horror of my experience this afternoon.

'Twas in Bodmin Asda gents. There are just two urinals in there. I was busting. The place was busy. I had to wait. Eventually I got to the right-hand one. It was clearly not draining very well, the last occupant's production only reluctantly ebbing away. But I adjudged that the bowl had sufficient capacity to contain my efforts. But I had reckoned without the auto-flush. The combination of the flush, my flux and the remnants of the previous chap's volume conspired to make the bowl get ever, ever, ever closer to overflowing. Overflowing splashily on to my besandalled and temporarily immobilised feet. Horrified at the prospect, I did a mid-flow manoeuvre seldom attempted in the history of male urination: in front of several gobsmacked chaps washing their hands and using the blowers, I switched rapidly and seamlessly, in spectacular manner, to the left-hand urinal. It was my good luck that the expected overflow of the adjacent stall happened in dramatic and noisy fashion, eliciting amused sympathy from the gathering. We chaps in such circumstances don't take long to interpret situations. I should think that at least six blokes are tastelessly dining out on this yarn this very Saturday evening.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 03:50 PM

I'm sure you can work it out.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Mar 19 - 07:59 AM

I know what a urinal is, but what in the world are male and female toilets?

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Mar 19 - 09:15 AM

I know. You have to walk at least two hundred yards on dry ground or a hundred yards through puddles before daring to get back in your car with contaminated shoes. Tsk.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 07 Mar 19 - 08:00 AM

Well, we're in danger of wandering off-piste here (see what I did there?), but I agree - I've trained my body-clock to deal with my personal needs , very much in the main, in the comfort and privacy of my own home but, on the rare occasion I do need to use public facilities, there always seems to be someone taking a very noisy, smelly dump in one of the traps, and perhaps several of my predecessors who are incapable of pissing in the urinal judging by the pools on the floor.

Humans really can be disgusting creatures.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Mar 19 - 07:41 AM

I've become quasi-philosophical about the matter of hand-washing for men after a wee. I mean, as long as you started the day showered and with clean undies (undies worn twaice are not quaite naice...), your "little chappie" is likely to be a damn sight more germ-free than your hands. Therefore, I'm minded to wash my hands FIRST. Of course, the poo is a different matter. Mind you, I do have to wonder if people who go out for the day and need a poo in a public bog are managing their lives properly (medical conditions apropos excluded, of course)...

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 07 Mar 19 - 05:46 AM

The problem seems to be people who conflate 'Trans' and 'Pervert'. My wife's parents hold the view that Trans women, because of their male birth-gender, are likely to sexually harass young girls in public toilets, and they cannot be persuaded otherwise.

Creepy men will be creepy men, irrespective of which toilet they go into - I've met a number of creepy men, been propositioned (and, on one occasion when I was mid-teens, sexually assaulted) by creepy men in male toilets. Steve is on the button regarding the use of public toilets - wherever possible, take steps at home to avoid needing to use them, but if use of a public loo becomes necessary, try to use a busy one. Every time I've had a problem with creepy men in a public loo, it was in one in which we were the only two using the facility.

I would be far more concerned for a trans woman who was obliged to use a male toilet than I would be for other women and girls with a trans gender woman using a women's toilet.

Trans people are not perverts. They are people living in a personal hell, who have taken an immensely brave decision to make a huge change to their own lives which many self-styled 'normal' people cannot begin to conceive of.

And Steve's absolutely right about dirty buggers who take a leak or a crap and don't wash their hands.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Mar 19 - 04:47 AM

And, I must say, perhaps we should be more worried about the people who come out of the cubicles post-poo who don't wash their hands. The planet IS swarming with them.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Mar 19 - 04:44 AM

Wow. A thread about the serious topic of how we should be making progress in our attitudes towards people who, through no fault of their own, endure a lifelong struggle to find a safe place for themselves in this world of ours is still mired in angst from self-styled "normal" people about public toilets. Ye gods. Yes there are true nutters who want to cash in on the blurry lines in order to feed their pervy predilections, but the planet is hardly swarming with them, is it? If you're that worried, take a really good pee and poo before you leave the house and don't drink too much tea or coffee before you go. If you still get caught short or need to attend to other personal matters, go into public bogs that are quite busy. There's safety in numbers, you'll feel, even if the danger of a quieter place is normally illusory. And you can always do your facial tuttie-uppie using the little mirror behind the sun visor in your car. Mine even has a little light I can switch on and it's only an ancient Ford Focus. Mind you, I gave up looking at my face in mirrors years ago as I wish to remain cheerful. It's a choice.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: mg
Date: 07 Mar 19 - 12:41 AM

the word is boogeyperson. People will be afraid of chasing men out of bathrooms because they can use the trans issue as a reason for them being there. This has nothing to do with transgender people. It has to do with creepy non-trans men who will find ways to use new laws to their benefit. I am nlot against laws and I want everyone to have a bathroom they feel safe and comfortable in. In most cases, we can just wait if we are shopping etc. At what point to you raise a ruckus and what will be the result to you? They will test it..some out of stupid teenage behavior..let's startle some girls..and some in more serious ways. There have to be safeguards in both men and wome's bathrooms and again, not against trans people but just general pervert behavior. It does happen. It has happened to me, not in a trans situation, just normal perverts. They are out there. We have young children to protect.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 09:31 PM

Male creeps in a women's bathroom could assault women or particularly girls.

This is a boogeyman, Mary. And if you approach a women's restroom and upon entering, find a man in there, do you stay?

Typically, men who clean restrooms must close the women's room and no one else is in there while he cleans. Same with women cleaning men's restrooms. I have chased a couple of men out of women's university restrooms when they were up to no good (usually had accompanied a young woman to the stall hoping for a quickie before they were caught). Men, dressed as men, wouldn't lurk in women's restrooms without exciting a lot of attention and getting their asses kicked out, or else women don't go in. Men dressed as women using restrooms (I'm sure I've shared the women's room with trans women) act like anyone else in the restroom - they step into the stall and take care of their business.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 09:10 PM

The spectrum of sexuality is a non issue for me. It is what it is and I deal with it like the weather.

I know I do not get half of the UK references or cultural attitudes. It is likely to be the same for American references confusing others. I just find the divide interesting. Many of the old attitudes of the UK are the current views in the bigoted South. I say lets celebrate the new attitudes about diversity.


ps Steve I don't drink. no taunt intended.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Iains
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 06:32 PM

I see the problem as being the expectations of society racing ahead of the mores of society. The envelope is being pushed to the extent of making some people uncomfortable. Transgender or gender fluid presents a particular problem for me. It seems most people are happier with male female toilets. If dressed as a male you use a male toilet. If dressed as a woman use a female toilet.
I have a particular problem with unisex bathrooms/toilets in schools, Adolescents often have problems with self esteem, at least some part of the time, as they mature. I think respecting their need for privacy at that time of their lives is the least we can do to aid their journey.Unisex toilets in schools would appear to give far too much scope for potential bullying and embarrassment. I strongly feel the needs of the children should outweigh any drive for political correctness.50 years ago the idea of unisex toilets would probably have labelled the advocates as perverts. There is nothing wrong with the march of progress providing the steps taken are proven to be positive.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 06:06 PM

I second that, Ebbie. And John.

Donuel, I don't like you. I want you to ignore my posts. I want you to stop passing comment. If I ever met you I wouldn't buy you a drink, despite the fact that I'm unfailingly generous, because I wouldn't want to talk to you, not for one second. As far as I'm concerned you never contribute to debates here and you post whimsical, deliberately obscurantist rubbish. You think that posting incomprehensible tripe is clever. Well not for me it isn't. Find another hobby, please, and sort yourself out.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 03:16 PM

Couldn't agree more, Ebbie. Far too many people minding other people's business.
Live and let live.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 02:20 PM

I am in my 80s and I too was brought up to denigrate any woman who appeared 'mannish' (my mother's word). I doubt that Mom ever examined her own views, but I am here to tell you that one's views can be changed 180.

As for sharing public restrooms with transgender folks, how would I even know? Women's restrooms typically have closed cubicles; as for the 'lobby' areas of restrooms I personally have never seen anyone change clothes or insert tampons or anything of the sort there. I would be offended if a woman did either of those things because I would consider it inappropriate.

When it comes down to it, I'd say that this is not an earth-shattering issue. We are all human beings. We are all in this together.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Jos
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 08:49 AM

There are a number of things I was told at school that have turned out not to be true. It can be a bit embarrassing to discover that something you have said (and that you have believed absolutely since childhood) is, in fact, wrong. But it is rewarding to swallow your pride and investigate further, thus finding out new things.

(I remember my grandmother assuring me that the smallest thing on Earth was the atom, and that it was impossible to divide it. This must have been in the 1950s but she still believed it because it was something she had been taught as a child, even though by then she must also have known about atom bombs - a bit like the Red Queen, who liked to believe five impossible things before breakfast.)

Come back, Eliza. Mudcat isn't the same without you.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 08:43 AM

Hey, we had a houseboy, no quotes. Do you mean your uncle was buggering the poor man? Did he "keep them" (against their wills) or was the shack just where they lived, as a perk of employment? Our houseboy was overpaid by local standards, but did not live in. The boyerie was instead occupied by the night watchman during the day. Rhodesia wasn't Cote d'Ivoire, but your phrasing sounded rather offhandedly colonial to me. Like the houseboy was property. Was he?

And since male pervs targeting girls in bathrooms is not a trans issue, why is it still being brought up in the context of trans issues?

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 08:43 AM

Steve all of your posts trouncing me have been removed. When you don't think of consequences you trounce. It may be an ego thing which you do not accept, it may be a cultural dignity thing, it may be a an enlightenment thing that is not as enlightened as you think. You have plenty of practice pigeon holing people.
Really I don't mind your tirades but belittling a kind and funny old lady on a park bench?

Please think twice before you write. These are not the flame days of the past. This is a joke site with new ideas and history to ponder and pass the time, not a battlefield full of snipers.


If only all of big time social media followed our lead.

I don't know anyone here from Adam but I do try to have a mental construct of anyone I encounter here and helpful or not I picture them as a friendly ol coot who wnats to talk. Try it.

You are not an evil guy, just impulsive.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 05:11 AM

Well I suppose I was that member who trounced Senoufou. Well I didn't set out to trounce anyone, but the thing is that we as society can tussle with, and resolve, the issue of public bathrooms/toilets, obviously not without some difficulty, but where there's a will... On the other hand, those people who find themselves in difficulty with our erstwhile strict (and false) two-gender world have a major issue, not at all of their own making, for life, and deserve a bit more sympathy/empathy than they get from the toilet-worriers, who seem to me to have their priorities arse about face. The sideways glances, nasty little behind-the-hand remarks and smirking they already have to deal with are bad enough, and then when they get caught short...

I had an uncle who asserted that homosexual people were just "dirty buggers" who were out for kicks (he'd also lived in Rhodesia for a while and had kept a black "houseboy" and his family in a shack at the bottom of his garden). We've come a lot further in dealing with those horrid attitudes than we have with transgender issues, and we'll get there, but we won't unless we firmly confront them. No indulgences. I suppose we could try to be nice about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Change of sex prior to 18
From: The Sandman
Date: 06 Mar 19 - 02:51 AM

However I believe that people regardless of sexual identity should be treated with kindness and love and should be judged on their actions as people rather than their sexual identity