BS: an umbrella thread

Subject: BS: an umbrella thread
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 May 19 - 01:45 PM

There being no prior umbrella thread,
except a thread from 2003
about someone getting kicked out of a hotel
and someone else kindly ensuring
that the first someone's brolly was retrieved for him
and returned to him,

the time has come for a Mudcat umbrella thread.

My longtime folding umbrella was misplaced sometime this month.
Some of those folding metal thingies were bent out of shape
after years of resisting high winds.
The thing still worked, after a fashion.

Anyway I made the fateful decision to
acquire an umbrella with
A Lifetime Guarantee,
a thing I have never before had in my life.

Are there lots of umbrella brands out there with
Lifetime Guarantees?
Or any Guarantees whatever,
besides the one I just chose?

The order went online during the last seven days or so,
and now there is a post at my e-mail account
saying that the package was delivered to my home
( a computer is not in my home,
I'm reading my e-mails at the library's public computer stations).

Would you like me to report back on
Lifetime Guarantees for Umbrellas?

And what does everybody else at Mudcat
have to disclose / vent / report about any or all umbrellas?

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 May 19 - 02:58 PM

It's here. The delivery message was valid.

The Guarantee statement was enclosed with the shipment.
Contacting the umbrella company with a report of
defects or failure to function with proper use,
guarantees repair or replacement
for as long as one owns the umbrella.

Then there is the Loss Protection Card.
"Keep this Card in your wallet."
In the event of loss of the umbrella,
the card, with its unique Loss Protection Number,
may be used for the "redemption"
of a replacement umbrella,
although NOT for free -- rather, at a discount.

This is a folding umbrella.
The button at the base of the shaft, above the handle,
does three things.
When umbrella is closed, push the button to open.
When umbrella is fully open, push umbrella to close.
When the open umbrella turns inside out -- or "inverts" --
push the button and the "ribs will correct themselves."

The umbrella is the same color
as the trousers that I have on today,
which is a little bit uncanny.
(No, I'm not wearing blue denim.)

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 May 19 - 04:15 PM

I appropriated an old rhyme that was reckoned to be penned by Ogden Nash, or Senator Senator Sam Ervin though the latter may well have used it, it was known in the Victorian era.

The rain it raineth on the just, and also on the unjust fella.
But most it raineth on the just, 'cause unjust just stole the just's umbrella.

music here

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 May 19 - 05:25 PM

The use of umbrellas as sun protection by European women dates back to around 1600. But they didn't begin being used as rain protection by men until about 1750. That's 150 years' worth of stubborn men getting rain-soaked because umbrellas were "for women".

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 30 May 19 - 05:28 PM

Only one thing to say:
Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: keberoxu
Date: 30 May 19 - 06:54 PM

Looking closer at the small print:

The customer pays for the shipping to
send the umbrella back to the manufacturer,
should the customer want the umbrella repaired or replaced;
the company pays for the rest (repairs or replacement).
So it is printed anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 May 19 - 01:32 AM

I always liked umbrellas. In my mid teens I carried one a lot. It was the black, rolled city gent type and was a bit of a fashion statement in the late 60s. I didn't have one for years but then picked one up at a car boot sale about 10 years back. I keep it, oddly enough, in the car boot :-)

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: DMcG
Date: 31 May 19 - 03:13 AM

Three days ago we gave our four-year-old grandson a umbrella his size with dinosaur pictures that change colour in the rain. So far it goes everywhere, including to bed.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: BobL
Date: 31 May 19 - 04:00 AM

Batter to look a fool with an umbrella on a dry day, than a fool without one on a wet day.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Jack Campin
Date: 31 May 19 - 06:34 AM

The tulum is a kind of double-chanter bagpipe played in the eastern Black Sea coastal mountains of Turkey, the specialty of the Muslim-Armenian Hemshin people. It's traditionally made from a kind of timber very widely found in the area because of its climate: umbrella handles.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Jack Campin
Date: 31 May 19 - 07:29 AM

DMcG, where you get the dinobrella?

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: DMcG
Date: 31 May 19 - 07:39 AM

My wife bought it, so I can't say. I did a search online and found an article in The Sun about them.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: wysiwyg
Date: 31 May 19 - 08:18 PM

My emergency umbrella is a small beach umbrella large enough to cover me,plus the dog who doesn't like raindrops in her eyes. I keep this by the back door, handy if needed to take her out when a morning is too wet for her taste.

We have two golf umbrellas in the van and possibly the folding umbrella, none of which are in reach if showers break out while we're IN the van.

My mobility scooter has no umbrella onboard, but it does have a straw tennis brim to keep rain out of my eyes when I'm riding it, or to hold the water-shedding, onboard poncho's hood from blowing off my head in heavy rain.

I have a space blanket onboard, in case the scooter battery dies when I'm far from shelter as a cold night falls. But it would be better to have a motorized umbrella, to fly awaaaaayyyyy.....

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Jack Campin
Date: 01 Jun 19 - 05:21 AM

Got the dinosaur umbrella - kid's birthday coming up - thanks!

Edinburgh is a lousy place for umbrellas. At the north end of the North Bridge there is a bin which for a few days a year gets stuffed full of broken brollies from tourists who didn't fold them when crossing it. (In the first few years after the first bridge opened, the stone parapet was blown across the roadway: a few years after that the whole bridge blew down).

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jun 19 - 11:39 AM

Ground up umbrella handles sold as grated Parmesan cheese: Fact or Fiction?

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Jos
Date: 01 Jun 19 - 01:44 PM

I often see people walking around under an open umbrella because they haven't noticed that it has stopped raining.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Mr Red
Date: 02 Jun 19 - 04:48 AM

is that a cover story?

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 02 Jun 19 - 08:18 PM

Once stayed in a hotel on Rome's Via Nazionale: you could tell what the weather oreast was from what the guys just outside the front door were selling: umbrellas - gonna be wet, sunglasses - gonna be fine. Same guys!

Umbrellas in Singapore double as parasols: they come with a shiny metallised interior lining, which deflects the heat of the sun.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 02 Jun 19 - 08:21 PM

FORECAST! Note to self: please proof-read before hitting submit!

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 09:04 AM

Just to bring it back to music:

Some use a umbrella, some use a thumb...

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 03 Jun 19 - 01:52 PM

You can't have an umbrella (Umberella?) thread without this one!
Any umberellas?

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Jun 19 - 02:59 PM

A whole week of rain forecast.
I shall have to try out my new umbrella
whether or not I want it to leave the house.

...it's more likely to get lost, like the umbrella it replaced,
should it leave the house ...

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: G-Force
Date: 17 Jun 19 - 05:43 PM

The very first record I bought (OK my parents bought it for me) was 'If I had a Golden Umbrella' by Diana Decker.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 17 Jun 19 - 08:31 PM

Just back from a week in N Ireland, where it was less wet than forecast, and defintely drier than either England or Scotland! Umbrella unused throughout!

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Oct 22 - 11:10 AM

Fast forward three years,
and I shipped that same umbrella to its maker for
Repair/Replacement.

That was two months ago.
I'm now exchanging e-mails with customer service at the manufacturer
because they say the umbrella shipment was never delivered.
But my tracking information from the United States Postal Service
says that it WAS delivered on 01 September 2022,
a good eight weeks back -- or is it seven ...

It's a good thing that, at the time,
I went ahead and ordered/bought a second umbrella in a different color,
just in case I never saw the old umbrella again.
I'm using it in the rain today.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 25 Oct 22 - 06:18 PM

adding some more music to this thread!

Back in March I read the Ticket Terms & Conditions for attendance at our National Folk Festival. The festival had a new director, not a folkie, merely someone who was good at organising big events cos they needed more attendees after 2 years without festivals, & they also had new board members who wanted an different approach (ie. less folk - hmmmm)

A concern amongst folkies had been the booking a number of very big non-folk acts, also the complicated application form, obviously taken from applications for huge music festivals. And the acceptance form was 16 pages long, instead of the usual one page list of performers, instruments & camping/own arrangements.

So it was hardly surprising to see the following on the Ticket page -

https://www.folkfestival.org.au/tickets - see bag check (this page no longer exists!)

All patrons carrying bags of A4 size will be required to enter the entertainment zone through the bag check lane.

Prohibited items include:

    Glass (including food containers and bottles)

    Knives and weapons

    Alcohol and illicit substances

    Umbrellas & selfie sticks

    Fire-twirling equipment, sparklers and flares.

Not the kind of stuff normally found at the 55 year old National FF.

WEAPONS?? FLARES?? UMBRELLAS? I had a pic of a very loooong line of men, women & children awaiting the bag searches at the only entrance, when a tot under a froggie umbrella has their froggie seized in front of all these lefties - Wadda we want? Umbrellas!! When do we want them? NOW ...

People started complaining & there were no bag searches when we all arrived, but the condition is back on this year's ticket page

sandra

ps. the new director is no longer around.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 26 Oct 22 - 08:37 AM

> ps. the new director is no longer around.

His work is done. He's gone to spread the word at some other unfortunate festival that captivity is freedom.

Let's hear it for Froggies.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 26 Oct 22 - 05:08 PM

her!!

Froggies rule

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Oct 22 - 06:20 PM

Oh, this brings back memories of a distant time ...
about New Year's Day, 1999, if I recall rightly.
The place was Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, which always has a New Year's Day Parade.
And this parade is noteworthy for a number of things.
I was in a nice cozy warm hotel room watching the live broadcast of the parade on television, mind you --
it was a bitterly cold windy day for the parade, and I felt sorry for the people marching in it.

My reason for watching the parade was that I wanted to see the part of the parade with
the traditional "string bands" which in fact are
a mix of wind instruments, a banjo, and I forget what else.
This is an old tradition but I am woefully ignorant about it.

This parade in Philadelphia comes in many segments and parts.
And there was one part that was just sheer silliness, I can't recall what was behind it. What happened was:

at least a hundred people, an organized group of them, were parade entrants officially and everything.
But all they did was
show up with GREEN UMBRELLAS and skip and bounce down the street in group formation, which is to say mostly chaos.
But they did it in such a way that all their green umbrellas were
huddled together and bouncing up and down.

YOu have to picture the camera trained on this rolling sea of green fabric stretched onto all these umbrella frames.
It only lasted a few minutes, but what a hoot it was.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Oct 22 - 11:02 PM

Juneau, Alaska residents tend not to use umbrellas but opt for hooded coats and jackets instead. I found out why my first week here 35 years ago.
Striding swiftly toward the post office, brolly held high as the rain pelted down, a sudden gust of wind blasted me and my belongings, leaving me with a firm grip on the handle of the umbrella as the canopy detached itself and went sailing over the rooftops never to be seen again.
I have not owned an umbrella since.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Oct 22 - 03:36 AM

I've worn hats for decades (I feel undressed without one!) usually my
Akubra (Australia's iconic hat) which protects me from rain, along with my raincoat.

I also normally pull along a trolley, whether getting groceries, or carrying stuff around a festival.

Hat + trolley = no hands for an umbrella. Hand not pulling trolley is ready to grab hat if wind gets too much.

Besides, as I'm always saying - ya don't see dead raincoats on streets in rainstorms! On occasion I've picked up these dead umbrellas & made bags & shower caps from them.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Oct 22 - 03:49 AM

Upon rereading my post, I see that I have the wind striding swiftly. Well. Stranger things have happened.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Oct 22 - 06:44 PM

a Wind God?

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Oct 22 - 08:06 PM

To echo what Tattie Bogle said a couple of years ago, we were in Naples one day in October 2013, having just had a wonderful morning in the archaeological museum. We were crossing the main road and heading for a pizzeria (where else would you eat in Napoli!). A few drops of rain began to fall, and all of a sudden hundreds of blokes selling umbrellas appeared on the streets as from nowhere. A phenomenon!

The ensuing rainstorm was legendary and positively biblical, but the pizzeria was a perfect haven, and the pizzas were supreme. Mrs Steve had a huge Margherita and I had (unwisely, as I could hardly move for the rest of the afternoon) a pizza fritta (which was about three times as big as any Cornish pasty). Later, we went to see the martyred San Gennaro's bones ( the patron saint of Napoli) in the crypt of the duomo (bloody Catholics...)

One of that handful of days that make all the best memories. Thinking back, it was those brolly salesmen...!

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Oct 22 - 11:20 AM

Though there is a festival in Seattle called Bumbershoot, many people simply didn't use umbrellas, at least not when I was growing up there. I was one of them; umbrellas are too easy to destroy in a breeze. So when I moved to New York City I continued the practice of wearing a rain slicker with a hood and nearly had my eye put out many times by idiots walking with umbrellas unfurled under the covered sidewalk. Either use the umbrella and walk next to the street in the rain, or put the damned thing away and share the covered space.

I believe I gave a few people the stink eye when they were particularly careless.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 28 Oct 22 - 01:26 PM

I heartily echo that. What is it with these umbrella fiends!

I have a tiny, virtually useless fold-up umbrella that I keep in my car in case of dire rainfall emergency or the threat of a shower when I go for a walk. I never use it. I bought two (for the price of one) polka-dot, supposedly windproof umbrellas from Coopers of Stortford (Brits will know what I mean). Mrs Steve has the blue, I have the red. They are exceedingly jolly, but, as yet, mine is untested in strong breezes. It lives in my car too. I'm put off by the prospect of having to carry the damn thing, especially if it gets wet. It takes a lot to persuade me to carry a brolly.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: BobL
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 03:15 AM

Better to look a fool with an umbrella on a dry day than a fool without an umbrella on a wet day.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Senoufou
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 03:51 AM

Where I live (Norfolk, East of England) it's often quite windy, and we don't get as much rain as those in the West and North. So I don't even possess an umbrella. In the rain, it would blow inside out and be wrecked.
I have a very handy raincoat with a hood. I find it easy just to pop up the hood and waddle along in the wet weather. (I must look a bit like some Halloween character!!)

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 09:33 AM

Actually, BobL, I have an umbrella I use as a parasol in the summer sometimes. It gets very hot down here in Texas and there are summer days when the air is still and the sun is baking and the little bit of shade cast by the umbrella then is welcome. I kept one at my office desk for walks on campus in the summer and on occasion one of my office mates would borrow it for the same reason.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 09:43 AM

Our summer also gets hot (65-78), but not as hot as yours (85-90), Stilly. Tho of course we also have hotter days, as you do.

The only time I feel Sydney's sun on my head is if I need to put my sunglasses on! Ouch, burn, & I always wonder how folks who don't wear hats survive. Others also shelter under parasols or umbrellas.

Some don't even wear sunglasses ...

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 10:07 AM

Thin hair plus factor 30, applied liberally and often, does the trick, Sandra. I absolutely hate wearing hats, though I do have a Tilley hat that I've had for over 20 years. I daren't ever undo the sliding knot in the chin strap as I'd never know how to tie it again.

I remember my boyhood Aussie hero, Richie Benaud, who got skin cancer, lamenting that he supposed he should have worn a hat...

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 11:33 AM

I have a pair of prescription sunglasses that are polarised. I wear them for driving only. I wear specs anyway, I realise that they don't protect me from UV very well but I dislike seeing the world through artificial shading. I'm having my eyes tested shortly so I suppose I'll be told off. I get told off for everything: using sunscreen on my head only, for using the wrong stuff to de-wax my ears, wearing sandals, wearing shorts, not putting enough clothes on in cold weather, staying up too late, getting wet when I could have used an umbrella...

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 12:12 PM

Our highs are frequently over 100^o, last summer hitting 110 several times. If you must be out in it, the parasol is essential (and sunglasses and a ballcap with a bill.)

If I'm working outyard I have a hat with a scarf attached to the back that tucks into the broad brim when not in use. I often will simply place a bandana over the top of my head to hang down around my neck and sides of my face and hold it in place with a snug billed ballcap. What did we ever do before ballcaps were invented?

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 01:21 PM

My head is too big for any baseball cap I've ever tried on. Too wide across the forehead. The fit is far too tight. There must be an answer to this but I've never found it.

(OK, call me a big-head if you like but I'll tell you that I need it to accommodate my vast brain...)

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 06:17 PM

Steve, factor 50 is the norm here here - just found the following quotes, looks like 30 & 50 aren't all that different.

“Australia has one of the highest rates of skin cancer in the world, so the Australian government has the strictest requirements for sunscreen ... The highest SPF for sunscreen available in Australia is SPF50+. The SPF number is only a guide to a sunscreen's protection. In laboratory conditions, when used as directed, SPF30 sunscreen filters 96.7% of UV radiation and SPF50 filters 98%. Both provide excellent protection if they are applied properly" ...

I've been "lucky" enough to get almost migraine-level headaches from sun & glare for most of my life, so in avoiding the sun, I've also avoided the skin cancers my sun-loving friend & our generation & previous generations have. She is only 3 years older than me, but her skin is badly sun damaged, like many older men & women who grew up in the days before strong sun protection. My father loved fishing & skin cancer eventually killed him.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Oct 22 - 07:27 PM

Sandra, you're 33° south whereas I'm 50° north. I'm an obsessive sun-worshipper. I can start getting my sun-god image in April but it's sporadic. By May, the sun is getting a bit fierce and I start to slap on the factor 30. Thing is, the sun is far from always out, so all is gradual. By June, my leather-like torso (down, girls) is immune to further solar attack, though my balding pate remains ever-vulnerable, and I have to keep slapping on the factor 30 until mid-September. I find that almost all sun lotions eventually run down into my eyes and irritate me like mad. At long last I've found one that's a light, non-oily cream that doesn't have that effect. As I use it on my head only, I can protect my poor head all summer for not much money. Nirvana!

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Oct 22 - 05:05 AM

sun is good for you!

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Oct 22 - 11:57 AM

I have several umbrellas... a small one is always in the car. If it is both raining AND very windy, I don't go out..or get out of the car. I can't remember when I needed to brave such days. Yes, I have wearable rain gear which I used when checking on flooding around the house..now solved.

Old joke: "A man needs several umbrellas... one to leave at work, one to leave at home.... and one to leave on the bus."

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 30 Oct 22 - 02:07 PM

> "SPF30 sunscreen filters 96.7% of UV radiation and SPF50 filters 98%"

--- so SPF50 filters more than half as much again compared to SPF30. Percentages are surprisingly misleading; I view them as a spawn of the Devil.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 30 Oct 22 - 02:23 PM

.... filters *out*. Type in haste, proofread at leisure.

Subject: RE: BS: an umbrella thread
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Oct 22 - 06:01 PM

Bill's old joke is sooo true!

Many years ago friends dropped me at the bus stop where I found an umbrella in the gutter, it stayed with me until it decided to return to it's travels ...