Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafesj

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30]


MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]

Donuel 07 Feb 20 - 04:07 PM
Donuel 07 Feb 20 - 05:06 PM
Donuel 07 Feb 20 - 05:08 PM
Donuel 07 Feb 20 - 05:40 PM
Rapparee 07 Feb 20 - 06:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 20 - 07:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 07 Feb 20 - 08:39 PM
Donuel 07 Feb 20 - 08:44 PM
Donuel 08 Feb 20 - 09:08 AM
Rapparee 08 Feb 20 - 10:07 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 20 - 11:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 08 Feb 20 - 12:12 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 20 - 02:27 PM
Donuel 08 Feb 20 - 05:59 PM
Rapparee 08 Feb 20 - 10:22 PM
Donuel 09 Feb 20 - 09:40 AM
Donuel 09 Feb 20 - 09:47 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Feb 20 - 11:35 AM
Donuel 09 Feb 20 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 10 Feb 20 - 01:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Feb 20 - 05:00 PM
Donuel 10 Feb 20 - 07:10 PM
Donuel 11 Feb 20 - 08:20 AM
Rapparee 11 Feb 20 - 08:26 AM
Donuel 11 Feb 20 - 11:34 AM
Stilly River Sage 11 Feb 20 - 03:51 PM
Donuel 11 Feb 20 - 04:01 PM
Rapparee 11 Feb 20 - 05:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Feb 20 - 07:39 PM
Rapparee 11 Feb 20 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 12 Feb 20 - 09:17 PM
keberoxu 12 Feb 20 - 11:22 PM
Donuel 13 Feb 20 - 06:52 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Feb 20 - 09:10 AM
Donuel 13 Feb 20 - 12:52 PM
Rapparee 13 Feb 20 - 09:50 PM
Stilly River Sage 13 Feb 20 - 10:14 PM
Donuel 14 Feb 20 - 11:45 AM
Donuel 14 Feb 20 - 03:13 PM
Rapparee 14 Feb 20 - 06:03 PM
keberoxu 14 Feb 20 - 07:16 PM
Donuel 14 Feb 20 - 07:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Feb 20 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 20 - 09:46 AM
Donuel 15 Feb 20 - 11:58 AM
Stilly River Sage 15 Feb 20 - 12:40 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 20 - 01:36 PM
Donuel 15 Feb 20 - 07:15 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 20 - 10:32 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 20 - 09:55 PM
Share Thread
more
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:













Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Feb 20 - 04:07 PM

With the large fleet of luxury cruise ships currently banned from docking at any port due to corona virus infected passengers, It has been suggested they should all tie up together and form an artificial floating island. Logisticaly it would simplify delivering supplies.
Burial at sea is in the testing phase to determine effects on sea life and mammals.
Euphemisticly we might call it Gilligans Island and plans to start filming a zany reality show about their trials, tribulations and novel inventions, are underway.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Feb 20 - 05:06 PM

Titles for the reality show are not yet greenlighted;

The mask and Glove boat, is waiting to take you away...

Take my hand Im a victim in paradise
the dining's nice, as they take me away...

Lost fantasy survivor Island

We should start writting folk songs now; May the Ship's cook,
be uninfected, in our galley, by and by ...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Feb 20 - 05:08 PM

Apocolypse Calypso?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Feb 20 - 05:40 PM

One of the writers was fired for telling the story from the virus' pov


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 20 - 06:39 PM

What shall we do with coronavirus
What shall we do with coronavirus
What shall we do with coronavirus early in the morning?

Quarantine everyone 'til it's over
Quarantine everyone 'til it's over
Quarantine everyone 'til it's over early in the morning!

Or maybe

It's advertised in Boston, New York, and Buffalo
Three thousand hearty virus re-search-ers researching for to go
Singin' test vaccines in the mornin'
Test vaccines hi-ho!
Put away your lab glassware and stow, boys, stow!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 20 - 07:17 PM

I don't have coronavirus and you'll never catch me on a cruise ship, but I'm willing to quarantine myself on a nice sportfisherman for a couple of weeks.

Of course, it is February so the fishing in the northern Gulf of Mexico is dead, meaning the quarantining would have to be done further south. Like Key West, Jamaica, Belize....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 20 - 08:39 PM

Mom!

I've figured out what's going on with Betelgeuse! It's Gluon!

Gluon is* on vacation in the Betelgeuse neighborhood and has met and is attempting to mate with a dogduck! A dogduck, of course, is the antiparticle to a duckdog. Their attempts at mating are releasing huge numbers of photons and anti-photons which are producing the variances in Betelgeuse's observed brightness. If their mating is successful, the resulting pressure wave from the matter/antimatter annihilation will result in the destruction of the entire constellation of Orion!

After a few million years, the remnants of Orion will coalesce into a new constellation known as Anas Canis (Duck Dog) in our universe and Canis Anas (Dog Duck) in whatever universe the dogduck came from.

* When we say "is", please bear in mind that Betelgeuse is some 700 light years from earth. Since Gluon transcends time and space he/she is there both right now and 700 years ago at the same time. Otherwise, we'd have to wait 700 years to see the resulting super-duper-nova. Gluon can get around the confines of relativity, but light cannot.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Feb 20 - 08:44 PM

Gilligans Island II will have thousands of Thurgoods, lots of Gingers and Marie Anns but relativly few Professsors.
Skipper: Brian Dennehy but then posthumously is replaced by the Rock
Gilligan: Chris Rock

Short term plots will involve extravagent 'Thurgood' requests, hijinx and escape attempts

The long term plot is uplifting in that after a year, people with natural immunity will be easily identified and used for vaccines.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 09:08 AM

The ships have docked and the show is canceled {^I


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 10:07 AM

Florida!!! BEWARE, BEE-DUB!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 11:04 AM

Those monkeys are in northeast Florida, in the Jacksonville area, 350 miles east of here.

But, if they ever attempt to invade northwest Florida, there's already a plan in place for controlling them. Our congressional district's congressman, rabid Trumpist Matt Gaetz, will simply inform his supporters that the monkeys are Democrats, and they'll all be bush meat before they hit the Walton County line.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 12:12 PM

By the way, did you notice the totally non-proprietary I-don't-claim-the-son-of-a-bitch way in which I referred to Matt Gaetz as "our congressional district's congressman" instead of "our congressman" or, God forbid, "my congressman"?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 02:27 PM

The owner's name is important in case you have to call the dogcatcher or someone. Otherwise, off to the pound he goes!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 05:59 PM

I noticed you guys started talking about infectious bush meat prior to the announcment of the pandemic threat.
Is there some significance to this?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 20 - 10:22 PM

Um, ah, nope. Nothing. Nada. Didn't mean a thing, not at all. Forget you ever saw it, okay?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Feb 20 - 09:40 AM

JEEZ LOUISE ! Mudcat.org is already on the FBI's radar thanks to bb and friends informing them of a Cavanaugh threat mudcat post, now this?

What were you thinking, don't you know that the NSA already has a copy and the Smithsonian mirrors mudcat on their site??

ONE MUST NOT EAT
INFECTED MEAT

LETS HOPE THEY SEE THIS AND NOT THE OTHER STUFF


We should put Gulliani on this to cover the trail.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Feb 20 - 09:47 AM

I need a favor though...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Feb 20 - 11:35 AM

A public service jingle to the tune of "The Colonel Bogey March"


Bush meat is really bad to eat.
Monkey or chimp or parakeet.
Jesus! It spreads diseases!
So take your bush meat,
And throw it away!



Maybe this show of public concern will get the Feebs off Mudcat's back re the Kavanaugh thing.

Or maybe not.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Feb 20 - 03:24 PM

I think were covered, they are too busy with Nazis and Putin and Trump.

hmm. Nazis and Putin and Trump sounds like 'Lions and Tigers and Bears

Oh My
'


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 20 - 01:58 PM

Hi, Mom, from your favorite kid. What's up?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Feb 20 - 05:00 PM

I drove by a cow pasture today and there were at least two dozen black vultures hopping around on the ground near the fence. I slowed to see what was happening, figuring some critter had been hit by a car and made it under the fence and into the pasture before expiring. But no! The vultures were snacking on cow pies!

I suppose that those particular cow flops smelled like something buzzards like to eat. In other words, something dead and rotten.

I just thought Mom might like to know that bovine shit is so enticing that even buzzards partake of it upon occasion.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Feb 20 - 07:10 PM

Rap you already have the lifetime achievment award for being mom's favorite so with all due respect you never need to feel insecure that a competition could ever possibly exist. It was good to see you both made it to the Oscars this year.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 08:20 AM

BWL maybe you should have gotten out and picked some mushrooms too.
The ones that grow on cow flops are decent but not Amazonian grade.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 08:26 AM

The vultures were probably feasting on undigested bits that that cows ate and passed. Other birds do that as well.

Yes, we made it to the "Academy Awards." Mom embarrassed herself (and me) first by the dress she wore (left over from her 1919 prom but "repurposed" with various slits added and "modesty panels" removed), drinking what was on other people's tables when the waiters refused to serve her more drinks, and kicking and screaming when security was forced to remove her. There were damages from the last and I do hope that the kicks and blows she gave to the security people don't cause lasting damage but I am afraid that she's in for a bit of a jail spell. Calling "GLUON! GLUON! HELP!" didn't help her, but the screams of "What's humping my leg?" only added to the confusion.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 11:34 AM

I thought the quilted gown was gorgeous.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 03:51 PM

I have a poop-eating puppy who positively bounds across the yard when she spots the old Lab taking a dump. And she's the cutest most charismatic DESTRUCTIVE dog I've ever owned. Who I rarely accept kisses from (only if she has been in the house for hours and had time for her breath to clear an a few drinks of water for dilution). To put the poop-eating vultures into perspective. It seems to be a critter Thing.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 04:01 PM

Pro biotic poop. What a novel idea. At CVS I can buy pro biotic candy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 05:59 PM

Ever hear of a fecal transplant? Perhaps the pup is actually trying to right something that's wrong.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 07:39 PM

Dog food companies go to great lengths to make their products sound appetizing to dog owners, as if a dog really cares whether its food tastes like filet mignon or plain old hamburger. Why not make dog food in flavors humans wouldn't care for but dogs really like? Like cat poop or deer guts.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 10:35 PM

I don't buy dog food (except for Gluon). Perhaps I'm cheap, or perhaps I think that scraps are good enough. Or perhpars it's because I don't have pets.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 20 - 09:17 PM

Gluon just ate my ENTIRE stock of Uranium 235! And half the Plutonium 239!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Feb 20 - 11:22 PM

Did GLUON do this in order to
glow in the dark?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Feb 20 - 06:52 AM

A least those are legal isotopes.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Feb 20 - 09:10 AM

Gluon doesn't actually use radioactive elements to glow in the dark. Oh, he/she glows all right, but it's just a side effect. He/she uses the Uranium to wake up in the morning, just like humans use coffee. And the Plutonium is to brush his/her teeth afterwards so he/she won't walk around with Uranium breath all day long.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Feb 20 - 12:52 PM

The syncopated
cosmic drumpht beat
in the universe
stretches and squeezes
our soul and being.
It takes silence
for overlords to rule.
They are full of stool
they've lost thier edge,
they've have lost their poison.
True to tell
But they still have that smell
Light years from hell


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [aex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 20 - 09:50 PM

Gluon burps tiny bits of critical mass from the uranium 235 (s/he prefers it to U238, as it's a "lighter" isotope) and I won't tell you plutonium 239 does, except the result doesn't require a match to create "fire." I'll never forget the time Gluon ate 22 kgs. of plutonium and six kilograms of lithium VI deutride (6LiD) and torched a good sized part of the Texas panhandle.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Feb 20 - 10:14 PM

She also gobbled the "nn" in the subject name of your last post. Hungry little critter!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 20 - 11:45 AM

Have you ever spun Ununpentium mercury alloys in a magnetic torus?
SHEEit ya git gettyup fur next ta nuthin.
Whatever you use for gettyup only needs to move a massless field.
like lectricty


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 20 - 03:13 PM

The new Spielberg film Indiana Jones and the Sacred Mushroom will be released next year Unless the Goverment wins a lawsuit labeling it XXX.
Barr: "We are worried about the children".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 20 - 06:03 PM

So you've passed the Barr?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Feb 20 - 07:16 PM

Talking of Roseanne ...

I didn't watch the live "Conners" broadcast
that coincided with the state primary election.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Feb 20 - 07:48 PM

Speaking of fire ants,... here.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Feb 20 - 10:39 PM

Hi, Mom!

I just finished watching a movie. It was advertised as a costume drama, but they lied. It had people in it too, not just costumes.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 20 - 09:46 AM

That's the problem, Bee-Dub: false advertising or what we called growing up back on the corn-swept prairies of Illinois, "lyin' through his false teeth." Why, I once looked at a house that was for sale and the ad said that it had "running water." When I went there the water came out of a faucet and didn't run anywhere! It didn't even have shoes! Or the bank that advertised "low interest loans" -- why tell customers that the bank has little interest in lending money when they probably know that already? "Truth in advertising" -- plain old phooey!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Feb 20 - 11:58 AM

Were you closer to the Ozarks or Indiana or stuck in the middle with Springfield?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Feb 20 - 12:40 PM

This story on Marketplace was an eye-opener. In addition to "running water" the US seems to be lousy with loos.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 20 - 01:36 PM

In the middle, on the banks of the Mississippi, the belly button on Illinois' pregnancy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Feb 20 - 07:15 PM

Ah the romance of river boats comes into focus.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 20 - 10:32 PM

Twenty miles or so upriver from Hannibal, Mo. Yup, Sam Clemens' home town. Sam would bring a steamboat in and me and him would go drinkin'. After a while ol' Sam would excuse himself and go visit the "young ladies" upstairs. Then the Civil War started and Sam up and went West with his brother Orion -- plumb lit out fer Nevada Territory. Dunno what ever happened to him...probably fell down a mine shaft cuz he was always pretty clumsy. (I heard tell what some of the "young ladies" said about him but I ain't gonna repeat them salacious rumors.)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 20 - 09:55 PM

Yessiree! My home town is Quincy, Illinois! Founded in about 1832, it's got, well, not everything, but a lot of stuff. It's got a pubic library, a public library, a veterans' home (started in 1886), a riverfront, huntin', fishin', eddykashun institoots (even a kolidj, where I went), a lotsa nice houses that rich folks lived in back in the 19th Century or so. It's got TWO bridges for cars across the river (THE river, the Mississippi,the ONLY river worth talking about), one going to Missouri and one coming back. Heck, it's even got a damn dam! I was borned, raised, edykated, and even went ta war from there.

It's a good place to be from...FAR from.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

  Share Thread:
More...


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 20 October 6:59 PM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.