MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Sep 21 - 01:17 PM

You're not supposed to leave it plugged in when you drive it. Talk about snarling traffic!

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Sep 21 - 11:28 AM

to mustach or not that is the question

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 Sep 21 - 11:05 AM

The Plop poem is familiar. Only, the last time I saw it,
the poem was a bit longer and more repetitive.

I suspect that Rapparee did some cosmetic surgery,
particularly on the "Ugh!" part --
a bit of nip and tuck.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Sep 21 - 09:12 AM

He can't do either.

That is Andromeda coming at us collision is unavoidable

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Sep 21 - 11:06 PM

A word to the wise "it is better to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission". That is why Trump is not wise.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Sep 21 - 09:33 PM

A Tragedy
by Theophile Marzials

Death!
Plop.
The barges down in the river flop.
Flop, plop,
Above, beneath.
From the slimy branches the grey drips drop...
To the oozy waters, that lounge and flop...
And my head shrieks - "Stop"
And my heart shrieks - "Die."...
Ugh! yet I knew - I knew
If a woman is false can a friend by true?
It was only a lie from beginning to end--
My Devil - My "friend."...
So what do I care,
And my head is empty as air -
I can do,
I can dare
(Plop, plop
The barges flop
Drip, drop.)
I can dare, I can dare!
And let myself all run away with my head
And stop.
Drop
Dead.
Plop, flop,
Plop.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Sep 21 - 06:51 AM

In the picture, the tiny dots in front of the trees is the Galactic Overlord Battle Fleet.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Sep 21 - 09:25 PM

Cover page for Earth Primer I for the Galactic overlords

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Sep 21 - 09:22 PM

My electric car cost $2k but I'm spending a fortune on extension cords.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 21 - 09:07 PM

Why would you think I have a gasoline powered car? It's electric, and the power comes from the windmill on the roof. The speed of the car charges the batteries, and of course that occurs even when it's moving under its own power. This is a special model, of course. The batteries are Lithium six deutride encapsulated in a Pu239 shell. This is so no one steals the idea.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Sep 21 - 08:14 PM

Heritage Med Labs have discovered Life Begins at Exception for the wealthy.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Sep 21 - 05:21 PM

This is two dozen hundred.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Sep 21 - 01:42 PM

They are coming for your gasoline powered car, please leave your keys on the seat and doors unlocked. A reciept and check for $200 will be left in your mailbox.

Unemployment emergency checks stop today.

If you have a gun license waiver for bears send it in Immediately, otherwise a stand off will be automaticly ordered. There is a backlog so stand offs are about a year away.

H3 conversion kits for your furnace start at $35,000 but you have 6 months for installation.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Moth, so er of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Sep 21 - 05:59 PM

Start planning NOW! This is next year, give or take a year, so it could be this year. Do you have enough ammunition? Duct tape? Food? Water? Toilet paper?

ARE YOU PREPARED?

Subject: RE: MOAB - another on 2nd thought edit
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Sep 21 - 09:42 AM

In the land of the annoyed when the Earth and life was destroyed
in novel new ways as it has been for billions of years,
Manunkind marked their 'end' in a pyramid myriad of alerts and fears.
There were digital attack alerts, domestic terrorist alerts and climate
fire flood and tsunami alerts even Hawaii flirted with nuclear alerts.
What I will miss in advance, are mysteries and histories left unknown,
not just human mysteries but of whales wondering about the space
between our fingers and the dark of the deep.
Secrets of all life that time will forever keep.
Mutations won't drive evolution into a rapidly changing world now gone
as much as our exogenetic genes from our past that turn back on.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Sep 21 - 07:50 AM

In the land of the annoyed when the Earth was destroyed
in novel new ways as it has been for billions of years
Homo Sapiens marked their end in a flurry of myriad alerts.
There were digital attack alerts, domestic terrorist alerts,
fire flood and tsunami alerts even Hawaii flirted with nuclear alerts.
What I will miss in advance are mysteries and histories left unknown,
Not just human mysteries but of whales wondering about the space
between our fingers and the dark of the deep.
Mysteries of all life that time will forever keep.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Sep 21 - 04:30 PM

Stanzas from “The Triumph of Death”
         John Davies, 1609

LONDON now smokes with vapors that arise        
From his foule sweat, himselfe he so bestirres:        
“Cast out your dead!” the carcase-carrier cries,        
Which he by heapes in groundlesse graves interres.—        

Now like to bees in summer’s heate from hives,              
Out flie the citizens, some here, some there;        
Some all alone, and others with their wives:        
With wives and children some flie, all for feare!        

Here stands a watch, with guard of partizans,        
To stoppe their passages, or to or fro,              
As if they were not men, nor Christians,        
But fiends or monsters, murdering as they go.        

Each village, free, now stands upon her guard,        
None must have harbour in them but their owne;        
And as for life and death all watch and ward,              
And flie for life (as death) the man unknowne!        

Here crie the parents for their children’s death,        
There howle the children for the parents’ losse,        
And often die as they are drawing breath        
To crie for their but now inflicted crosse.              

The last survivor of a familie        
Which yesterday, perhaps, were all in health,        
Now dies to beare his fellowes companie,        
And for a grave for all gives all their wealth.        

The London lanes (thereby themselves to save)              
Did vomit out their undigested dead,        
Who by cart-loads are carried to the grave;        
For all these lanes with folke were overfed.        

The king himselfe (O wretched times the while!)        
From place to place himselfe did flie,              
Which from himselfe himselfe did seek t’ exile,        
Who (as amaz’d) not safe knew where to lie.        

For hardly could one man another meete        
That in his bosom brought not odious death;        
It was confusion but a friend to greet,              
For, like a fiend, he banned with his breath.        

Now fall the people unto publike fast,        
And all assemble in the church to pray;        
Early and late their soules there take repast,        
As if preparing for a later day.              
The pastors now steep all their words in brine,        
With “woe, woe, woe,”—and nought is heard but woe:        
“Woe and alas!” (they say) “the powers divine        
“Are bent mankind, for sinne, to overthrow!        

“Repent, repent,” (like Jonas, now they crie)              
“Ye men of England! O repent, repent,        
To see if ye maie move pittie’s eye        
To look upon you ere you quite be spent.”        

And oft while he breathes out these bitter words,        
He drawing breath draws in more bitter bane;              
For now the aire no aire, but death affords,        
And lights of art (for helpe) were in the wane.        

The ceremonie at their burialls        
Is “ashes but to ashes, dust to dust;”        
Nay, not so much; for strait the pitman falls              
(If he can stand) to hide them as he must.        

But if the pitman have not so much sense        
To see nor feele which way the winde doth sit,        
To take the same, he hardly comes from thence,        
But for himself, perhaps, he makes the pit.              

For look how leaves in autumn from the tree        
With wind do fall, whose heaps fill holes in ground;        
So might ye with the plague’s breath people see        
Fall by great heaps and fill up holes profound.        

No holy turf was left to hide the head              
Of holiest men; but most unhallow’d grounds,        
Ditches, and highwaies, must receive the dead,        
The dead (ah, woe the while!) so o’er abound.        

Time never knew, since he begunne his houres,        
(For aught we reade) a plague so long remaine              
In any citie as this plague of ours;        
For now six yeares in London it hath laine.        

But thou in whose high hand all hearts are held,        
Convert us, and from us this plague avert;        
So sin shall yield to grace, and grace shall yield              
The giver glory for so dear desert.        

In few, what should I say? the best are nought        
That breathe, since man first breathing did rebell:        
The best that breathe are worse than may be thought        
If thought can thinke, the best can do but well:              
For none doth well on earth but such as will        
Confesse, with griefe, they do exceeding ill.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Sep 21 - 10:06 AM

https://www.texastribune.org/2021/08/30/texas-abortion-inducing-pill-texas/

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All Edits
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Sep 21 - 01:36 PM

The US allowed 15 million doses of Pfizer to expire
but there are reasons and excuses
just like qll the other ruses
that ends in tragedy

Pyroclastic clouds burned villagers to a crisp
The hurricane hit our cities like a fist
Red tide poisoned fish and folks alike
A Billion viral graves are about to spike

Once in a lifetime, twice in a week

The astroid was just a sliver
now the creek's a mighty river
The smoke made noon look like midnight
The crops all died of blight

Once in a lifetime, twice in a week

Fever and fits from small deer ticks
It hit a 100 in the Arctic
Permafrost began to burn
marked a point of no return

Once in a lifetime twice in a week.

Extinction could be redemption
from the pain to come
It wasn't bleak for everyone
It was a golden age for some.

Once in a lifetime twice in a week

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Sep 21 - 01:10 PM

There may be many 10,000 dollar secrets to come.
Despicable people will think they are Dog the abortion bounty hunter.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Sep 21 - 10:55 AM

I expect a large growth in telemedicine and the discrete shipping of plain brown parcels to women who need the abortion pill. It isn't a federal crime to mail the medication, the post office isn't going to go after anyone for a state thing.

MOM is busy dusting off the guest room in case anyone wants to stop to sleep for the night before heading on to Louisiana (not the best location, but much closer than New Mexico.)

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Sep 21 - 10:11 AM

Pyroclastic clouds burned villagers to a crisp
The hurricane slammed cities like a fist
Red tide poisoned fish and folks alike
A Billion viral graves are about to spike

Once in a lifetime, twice in a week

The astroid was just a sliver
and the creek's a mighty river
The smoke made noon look like midnight
The crops all died of blight

Once in a lifetime, twice in a week

Fever and fits from small ticks
It hit a 100 in the Arctic
Permafrost began to burn
marked a point of no return

Once in a lifetime twice in a week.

Extinction became redemption
from the pain to come
It wasn't bleak for everyone
It was a golden age for some.

Once in a lifetime twice in a week

(:-)

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Sep 21 - 03:14 PM

Cholera Camp

We've got the cholerer in camp -- it's worse than forty fights;
We're dyin' in the wilderness the same as Isrulites.
It's before us, an' be'ind us, an' we cannot get away,
An' the doctor's just reported we've ten more to-day!

Oh, strike your camp an' go, the Bugle's callin',
   The Rains are fallin' --
The dead are bushed an' stoned to keep 'em safe below.
The Band's a-doin' all she knows to cheer us;
The Chaplain's gone and prayed to Gawd to 'ear us --
   To 'ear us --
O Lord, for it's a-killin' of us so!

Since August, when it started, it's been stickin' to our tail,
Though they've 'ad us out by marches an' they've 'ad us back by rail;
But it runs as fast as troop trains, and we cannot get away;
An' the sick-list to the Colonel makes ten more to-day.

There ain't no fun in women nor there ain't no bite to drink;
It's much too wet for shootin'; we can only march and think;
An' at evenin', down the nullahs, we can 'ear the jackals say,
"Get up, you rotten beggars, you've ten more to-day!"

'Twould make a monkey cough to see our way o' doin' things --
Lieutenants takin' companies an' captains takin' wings,
An' Lances actin' Sergeants -- eight file to obey --
For we've lots o' quick promotion on ten deaths a day!

Our Colonel's white an' twitterly -- 'e gets no sleep nor food,
But mucks about in 'orspital where nothing does no good.
'E sends us 'eaps o' comforts, all bought from 'is pay --
But there aren't much comfort 'andy on ten deaths a day.

Our Chaplain's got a banjo, an' a skinny mule 'e rides,
An' the stuff 'e says an' sings us, Lord, it makes us split our sides!
With 'is black coat-tails a-bobbin' to Ta-ra-ra Boom-der-ay!
'E's the proper kind o' padre for ten deaths a day.

An' Father Victor 'elps 'im with our Roman Catholicks --
He knows an 'eap of Irish songs an' rummy conjurin' tricks;
An' the two they works together when it comes to play or pray;
So we keep the ball a-rollin' on ten deaths a day.

We've got the cholerer in camp -- we've got it 'ot an' sweet.
It ain't no Christmas dinner, but it's 'elped an' we must eat.
We've gone beyond the funkin', 'cause we've found it doesn't pay,
An' we're rockin' round the Districk on ten deaths a day!

Then strike your camp an' go, the Rains are fallin',
   The Bugle's callin'!
The dead are bushed an' stoned to keep 'em safe below!
An' them that do not like it they can lump it,
An' them that cannot stand it they can jump it;
We've got to die somewhere -- some way -- some'ow --
We might as well begin to do it now!
Then, Number One, let down the tent-pole slow,
Knock out the pegs an' 'old the corners -- so!
Fold in the flies, furl up the ropes, an' stow!
Oh, strike -- oh, strike your camp an' go!
   (Gawd 'elp us!)

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Sep 21 - 09:42 PM

There is also a new cottage industry begining in Texas.
Since the last hours of a legal abortion after 6 weeks expired last night, illegal abortions are the new growth industry.
In this age of quack cures, safety and effectiveness are out the window.
Back are the pre 1967 treatments; crocodile fecal matter: according to The Kahum Papyrus, one of the earliest medical texts in history, Egyptian women used crocodile fecal matter to induce abortion and as a form of contraception
herb pennyroyal: Maya Lewis wrote about herb pennyroyal in her thesis, Drink Me and Abort Your Baby: The Herbal Abortion Tea, saying, "Pennyroyal [is an essential oil that] will almost certainly kill anyone who uses it carelessly...Nausea, vomiting, fatigue, liver and kidney failure, hallucinations and seizures are all caused by pennyroyal oil overdoses — typically by young women seeking to self-induce their abortion.”
insertion of leeches or cayenne pepper into the vagina
swallowing gunpowder
throwing oneself down the stairs
hitting oneself in the stomach with a meat pulverizer
consuming turpentine
spending a night in the snow
consuming opium
consuming tansy oil
using the fungus ergot
the infamous hanger technique
https://www.allure.com/story/history-diy-abortion-roe-wade-reproductive-rights

The other method is a strong President sending observers and charging anyone denying or obstructing constitutional enacted law with fines or prison.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 21 - 08:40 PM

Mom, Sam Clemens burned up the area around Lake Bigler (now Tahoe) back around 1863. He and John D. Kinney went there looking to make a fortune as timber barons, as Virginia City needed lumber for buildings and shoring up mines.

They camped out, and one morning Sam left a campfire unattended and set the whole forest on fire "with a firing pan." The would-be barons got to their rowboat and high-tailed outa there. They watched the fire for about four hours and then returned to Carson City quite hungry as their provisions were "all cooked, no doubt."

Which side this fire was on is anybody's guess.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Sep 21 - 04:31 PM

I have inlaws on the south side (their family history is in wildlife fighting) bs
Helicopters can https://www.sfgate.com/renotahoe/article/Lake-Tahoe-drought-water-drops-two-feet-16169540.php
still scoop water but not planes .

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Sep 21 - 03:09 PM

I have relatives (by marriage) who live on the north side of the lake. They are concerned (their family history is wildfire fighting) but not really worried yet. They are ready to "git up and go," though.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Sep 21 - 10:23 AM

I had a friend from my undergraduate years who lived at King's Beach at Lake Tahoe. They're on the north side of the lake, and given what a large and deep lake, there's enough water to drop on a fire if they have the aircraft to do it. No BS.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Sep 21 - 08:44 AM

Will the Lake Tahoe community burn and disappear?
I just learned today that Leningrad disappeared.
They had a referendum and changed the name back to St.Petersburg.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Aug 21 - 08:34 PM

Take that Mike.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Aug 21 - 08:16 PM

So, Lucifer er I mean Trump went around the Constitution, and he collected a lot of other representatives who also didn't want to be less Important than Law, until he had a Great Army. Then they marched up to the Throne of the Capitol and said Proudly: "We are just as Important as You. Why should You be King Biden of America any more than one of us? We are Strong and Proud and Beautiful, and we will fight You for the Kingdom of Heaven." Joe looked at them; then He said: "Lucifer I mean Trump, I thought that you were My friend, and I trusted you. Be sensible now, and think about what you are doing." "I have thought," said Donald, and, I'd rather not be in Heaven at all than have You for my King, and so would all of us!" And behind him all the Rebel Angels shouted with a great shout: "We will follow Lucifer! Long live Lucifer! Let him reign over us in Heaven! WE DO NOT WANT GOD!" "Very well," said God, "if you don't want Me, you needn't have Me. But, if you want to fight for Heaven, you can if you think it will be any good." Then, God called Michael the Archangel, and made him gather together a Mighty Army of Angels who were on God's side.

So, now you know why we sometimes say in our prayers, "Holy St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in the Day of Battle," because he is so good at battles.

But, what happened to Lucifer and his Rebel Angels? Well, he was so furious and enraged at having lost his Battle with God that he has never gotten over it.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Aug 21 - 07:34 PM

Roger Penrose sent me a nice Harry & David basket for my letter to him about my idea that black holes had something to do with the recent acceleration of expanding universal space since a growing number of black holes are generating more space.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Aug 21 - 06:59 PM

1 An American ninja
2 A masked singer
3 WWW wrestlers.

My favorite MASH was Tuttle
My favorite Laugh in was tricky dick
My favorite Smothers bros. was their last show about cancellation

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Aug 21 - 06:52 PM

Who are these people (Hawking is a pop singer, right?) and what is a "Buccaneers Lions" game?

Mind you, I haven't watched televison in about five years so I'm sort of behind pop culture. My popping sort of ended with MASH and Laugh-In and the Smothers Comedy Brothers Hour.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 21 - 11:17 PM

An idea for my next epic rom com dramedy sports documentary came to me in a flash that will skewer Jennifer Lopez and Steven Hawking. It begins at a Buccaneers Lions football game where an instant replay reveals two separate outcomes of the same play proving the existence of a parallel universe intersection.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Aug 21 - 10:02 PM

Rap, you could really torture people with Edgar Guest, who Sinclair Lewis skewered perfectly in Babbitt with his character T. Cholmondeley Frink,

who was not only the author of "Poemulations," which, syndicated daily in sixty-seven leading newspapers, gave him one of the largest audiences of any poet in the world, but also an optimistic lecturer and creator of "Ads that Add." Despite the searching philosophy and high morality of his verses, they were humorous and easily understood by any child of twelve;

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 21 - 08:30 PM

Aging Rockers change their tune in Texas.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 21 - 10:26 AM

The Tic Tac uap.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 21 - 09:33 AM

Who you got in mind?

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Aug 21 - 08:07 AM

50 years ago the US Navy contracted to have underwater speakers produce
and recreate sounds of subs, aircraft carriers and torpedos.
Today plasma holograms can recreate images with heat signatures in mid air and water. I smell a counter intelligence disclosure rat.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 21 - 05:52 PM

I have a Triple-A Artistic License. As you know this permits me to execute people by reading from McGonigle and Julia Davis whenever my judgement thinks it in the best interests of the Humanities.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Aug 21 - 10:18 AM

He was only 6 when he was shot in his bed
His father was murdered 5 years ago
Each shooting leads to more shootings.
Its not even due to revenge or profit anymore.
Its just business as usual despite the risk.
The sale of two more ivory elephant tusks
buys more bullets and keeps the jeep running.
The tusks are getting younger and smaller
which leads to shooting more kids while asleep.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 21 - 06:33 PM

Jeeze Louise haven't you ever heard of artistic license?

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 21 - 05:33 PM

Hawks have no teeth, nor do eagles or any of that family. No birds alive today have teeth. Doves eat seeds and sometimes snails, hawks and people eat doves. Nature feeds on itself.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 21 - 05:00 PM

Doves have hearts and
hawks have teeth
between the two
twains don't meet

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Aug 21 - 06:32 PM

There is also Gov. De Santis Claus in Florida.
He's got a present for the kids.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 21 - 04:44 PM

Bizarre mutations? Is that what was born in Queens on June 14, 1946?

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Aug 21 - 02:59 PM

The air quality was so poor I went into distress after trying to mow and recovered very slowly with aspirin. There were no elephants sitting on my chest but there was a small camel inside my ribcage. (thats what a narrowed heart vessel feels like)
I got my booster today and was reminded by my pharmacist that until the world is vaccinated Covid is only destined to make more bizarre mutations.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Aug 21 - 10:30 AM

MOM, the air quality isn't great and it's hot as Hades out there, so what are you doing up a ladder in that tree? Rap and the boys don't need a rope swing today.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 21 - 09:29 AM

And in two hours, Mom -- well, you know what's gonna happen.