MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 20 - 08:12 AM

In my long days when I was small
the world held secrets in its craw.
Couriosity abounded.
Serendipity astounded
and innate ideas were my dreams.
Secrets like all's not as it seems
were at odds with hold to the past.
What I was taught did try to last
but thankfully faded to know more.
The secrets I sought made me sore.
They were not mine,
they were not kind
There are better ideas when small
Most secrets aren't secrets at all.
Love works best
Forget the rest
Get on with your amazing life.





As Ebbie tells me "Don't quit your day job".
My day job is life.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 20 - 08:31 AM

There are dire rhymes that ring like a bell after every shout of "SHAME", or a like a klaxon bell at the end of a phrase.
It can still be used to amuse and sometimes claim praise,
but me it makes things sound PLAIN.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 20 - 08:39 AM

I write a skeleton of a poem like below, then go back and edit.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 28 Oct 20 - 10:33 AM

The limerick I composed was full of cross-outs and lines added above and below. Writing poetry on paper, not the computer screen, means I'm looking at all of my attempts at once and can revert back in places easily. MOM suggests it's a waste of paper, but whatever. :)

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 20 - 01:51 PM

There are dire rhymes
that ring like a bell

after every shout of "SHAME"
like a klaxon bell

at end of phrase.
used to amuse or praise

But to me it makes important things
sound patheticly PLAIN.

It makes things so cutesy wootsy
sometimes it hurts my brain.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 20 - 02:27 PM

All my poems
are quick and easy
Bound by a chat room box

It may be, about a tree
or a notion
of a potion or a pox

There are some so cheesy
they really are easy
as Rhyme zone on pot

ditties and verse
are not from the forests
but a big fat Thesaurus

such as:

Trump gave such a tongue lashing tirade
in denunciating condemnation and blame
of all the disloyal crazies
He put them all to shame...

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 20 - 03:10 PM

...only in the eyes of Trump's gunmen.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 20 - 09:09 PM

A complacent old Don of Divinity
Made boast of his daughter's virginity.
They must have been dawdlin'
Down at old Magdalen --
It could never have happened at Trinity.

There was a young man from Dunbar
Who playfully pickled his ma.
When he finished his work
He remarked with a smirk,
"This will make quite a family jar."

Concerning the bees and the flowers
In the fields and gardens and bowers,
You will note at a glance
That their ways of romance
Haven't any resemblance to ours.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Oct 20 - 09:39 PM

Those are good
But there is a resemblance even in Corals, Morels or Sorrels
The only exception is oral.

Birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
In Spain, the best upper sets do it
Lithuanians and Latts do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
The Dutch in old Amsterdam do it
Not to mention the Fins
Folks in Siam do it - think of Siamese twins
Some Argentines, without means, do it
People say in Boston even beans do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Romantic sponges, they say, do it
Oysters down in oyster bay do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Cold Cape Cod clams, 'gainst their wish, do it
Even lazy jellyfish, do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Electric eels I might add do it
Though it shocks em I know
Why ask if shad do it - Waiter bring me
"Shad roe"
In shallow shoals English soles do it
Goldfish in the privacy of bowls do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
Transcribed (from the stated recording) by Todd Peach
Other verses I've seen in print follow:
In old Japan, all the Japs do it
Up in Lapland little Laps do it
Let's do it, let's fall in love
The chimpanzees in the zoos do it
Some courageous kangaroos do it
Let's do it, let's
Fall in love
I'm sure giraffes on the sly do it
Even eagles as they fly do it
Let's do it, let's fall
In love
Electric eels I might add do it
Though it shocks em I know
Why ask if shad do it - garcon de
"Shad roe"
The world admits bears in pits do it
Even Pekingeses at the Ritz do it
Let's do it, let's
Fall in love

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 20 - 09:33 AM

You have to take everyone with the initials DJT.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Oct 20 - 12:07 PM

DJT had a severe sibalance seizure. Its uncertain if he sustained permanent suckhood, staff said he sounded like a Macys super sized Thanksgiving Spiderman snagged on a spike.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Oct 20 - 12:12 PM

Scheriff Sedgewig is suspecting suicide.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Oct 20 - 04:48 PM

To me english sounds like a bunch of sss' followed by k's and t's.
English is the Slitherin of languages.
German sounds gruff and unct.
Hebrew sounds like ancient egyptian as much as Yiddih sounds German.
French and Italien seem melodic and Chinese the most melodic of all complete with agreed upon pitch and rhythm.
My own language, a youthful vestige of dyslexia, was never spoken but only written. Its Greek to me now. I think it was still a Rebus language.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Oct 20 - 11:42 PM

COVID-19 is racing to the polls along with all of the voters. MOM voted absentee by mail and got notification that it was accepted. All of the back yard chickens have absentee ballots that were dropped off at various mailboxes around town.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Oct 20 - 08:28 AM

I'm gonna take my horse to the polling place
Gonna make sure my country's in the global race
Gonna wait in line till I can't no more
Gonna make my vote like I did for Gore

I'm gonna ride my horse past A R 15's
Past guys making sure that they look cold and mean
Gonna wait a month for the last result
While lil donnie trump makes his last insult

OO-OOOO-O OOO

They call the wind 'the liar'
They say it says 'you're fired'


Gonna face next year with a cup of Joe
Gonna hope the nazis will decide to go.
They got lots of friends in the pen today
Along with all the ass holes in the KKK

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Oct 20 - 12:54 PM

Actually my voting only took 5 minutes and was friendly and civil as always.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Oct 20 - 09:15 PM

I researched the candidates online (https://www.lwv.org/elections/vote411) then sat at the kitchen table and filled out my ballot. I mailed it at the post office in late September and it arrived on Oct. 2. It has been accepted so will be counted.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 20 - 09:57 AM

Pat dropped our ballots off in early October and yes, they've been accepted. As I drive past the Elections Office I see at least four, and usually more, people going in to vote early. I'm a little annoyed by the political signs outside the office, urging us to vote for someone with the surname "Here." Whoever this "Here" is, he or she certainly wasn't on my ballot!

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 20 - 10:01 AM

By the way, for the first time in 138 years the Legion Hovel was designated as a polling place. It was almost instantly revoked when the Elections Commission inspection team visited.

Well, there's next year, and the year after that, and the year after that....

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: keberoxu
Date: 01 Nov 20 - 04:17 PM

"let's do it" ...
but have you heard Dinah Washington sing it?
Heaven can wait.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Nov 20 - 05:05 PM

Trouble is, they have to stop serving alcohol if the election folks are going to use the building and the bartender refused to go home or stop pouring drinks. He said it was a public service to keep the stress levels down.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Nov 20 - 09:32 PM

And since Prohibition ended, Legionnaires sell their votes for cash, not drinks. This year, one vote is $20.00, two for $35, three for $60, and so on. In 2016 Boldface Smitty made enough to spend a month on the "Mexican Riviera."

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 20 - 09:00 AM

By the way, the Hovel never stops "serving liquor." You just go get your own; nobody brings it to you. It is, in fact, that way year 'round. Even mixed drinks, like the "Purple Pickle Zombie" you make yourself. Barkeep Barbara just tells you what to do (and you'd better do it!).

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Nov 20 - 09:34 AM

Beyond alcohol is a drink of Telepathine aka Harmine. It is an ingredient in ayahuesca without all the crap.
Its also legal and prolific. I first discovered it as an ingredient in Romilar 60 years ago. As its name suggests it does enhance telepathic abilities. In general it is a dreamy clear minded stimulant. It is a secret ingredient in some micro breweries.
https://www.medchemexpress.com/Harmine.html?src=google-product&gclid=CjwKCAiA-f78BRBbEiwATKRRBD1AY5VcGlX-Mvl_A6Kyl_yGyNb2qrPOF1p

If you are curious about how healthy this stuff is, check out Wiki
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmine

A sweet drink can counteract its alcoloid bitterness.

I'm starting to think it slows down telemerase loss.
I would only share this info with friends.
It is not a daily supplement kind of thing so drink respondsibly.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Nov 20 - 04:29 PM

Our VFW bought a barrell of election whiskey - To celebrate or commiserate.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Nov 20 - 04:53 PM

When I look out my front door
What do you think's in store
When I look in the bushs
So many mosquitos at dusk
Those bloodsuckers
Very strange

You've got to stare at every itch
You've got to slap every bitch
females bite to feed their young
Oh no, must be the season
Oh no, must be the season

Oh no, must be the season of the itch
When I look over my shoulder
What do you think I see
Mosquitos lookin' at me
Its so strange

Now its turnin colder
Its the silent biters plight
But come next year
When I'm older
It will be another fight

Oh no...

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Nov 20 - 06:22 PM

Scotch is the therapeutic of choice this week, has been for a couple of weeks now. Take the edge off and then turn off the news and it gets even better.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 20 - 07:04 PM

I prefer our family vintage, La Bonne Merde (Chateau Athens, 2009). Estate selection and bottled, of course. A small run of an excellent red wine, assuming the air hasn't gotten to it. The only bottle that remains is on my mantle, gently aging in glass. It will almost certainly be the last.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Nov 20 - 09:14 PM

However, there might be a bottle or two of bourbon, rye, Irish, Scotch, Wyoming, and other whiskeys and whiskies around, as well as some Moab (YES!!) distillery gin.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Nov 20 - 11:10 AM

Let's get back to the head of the queue, Mom.
Better vantage point up there
for all the Election Day commotion.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 Nov 20 - 08:32 PM

Right now the vantage point is from the cheap seats, with the prognosticators. I like the numbers guy on MSNBC, but it's too early.

I took the Biden sign out of my yard, on the off chance that Trump supporters decide to take a loss out on the supporters when they lose. If Biden wins I'm not worried that anyone will take it out on my neighbor's house (with the Trump sign).

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Nov 20 - 08:41 PM

I put the TV on Ice Road Truckers and slept.
Maybe tommorrow I'll take a look at cable news.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 20 - 09:31 PM

The Grand Ballroom and Basketball Court at the Legion Hovel has the traditional net filled with the traditional water balloons ready to drop in the revelers when the outcome of the election is more-or-less known. It's the only bath some of the attendees get in four years.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Nov 20 - 11:01 PM

Up we go, Mom.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Nov 20 - 07:46 AM

Earth has been an outlieing amusment park for the Galactic Overlords and have announced through their mouthpiece 'Q-Anon' that Donald Trump is the winner by lawsuits waged by Saul&Son. The only thing changed is that Trump is now the alternative fact President from the White House in Mara Lago. The tweets continue hourly.

Biden has contracted movers to help settle into the basement of the White House.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Nov 20 - 02:53 PM

Have yourself a solitary christmas
make the yule grind low
eat chocolate covered cherries
till its time to throw

Up above, it looks like its about time to snow
and have yourself a very little christmas OW
now you've done it you choked on an ornament
and there's no one there to Himlick you.

no one near to you
oh dear

The warm north pole is practicly deserted
the jobs went way down south
Look in the mirror and feel flirted with
discouraged with
yourself

So have youself an angry little Xmas now.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 20 - 08:18 PM

Do you mean 90° North, or the magnetic North Pole? The magnetic North Pole has been moving towards Siberia.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Nov 20 - 09:23 PM

Santa's workshop is going left to the Commies? I thought they went to Mexico. We need right wing Workshop watchers to slow down or stop the toys.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Nov 20 - 09:49 PM

We can not allow illegal alien Hecho a Mexico TOYS to cross our border.
Caravans of toys are breeching our walls and are carrying covid and leprosy. Better Putin Red toys than rapist hispanic illegal tickle me Elmos.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Nov 20 - 10:43 AM

Its clear to see throughout history that
mankind loves the lie.
Warlords, religion and politicians
all use the childs cry
to get what they want although they're not hurt
for food love or thirst.

We lie to ourself with truth on the shelf
for war, love and gain.
The lie is the path for the psychopath
or a King to reign.
Belief is a knife that can stab your heart.
So take care if you wish to remain.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Nov 20 - 02:02 PM

As a poet of parody,
prose and rhyme
I find it perverse
that Walkabout Verse
will last in time
like a curse

Pin light from stars
that shine like past scars
are words that can be seen.
If words are organized
it may make a footprint
in the ground

After we die
and can't advertise
its all up to posterity
IF dead words fossilize
Others will realize
form outlives substance.

But then you'll be dead
You can't be flattered
and it won't matter
as words slowly
turn to dust

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Nov 20 - 09:40 PM

Yet let me flap this bug with gilded wings,
This painted child of dirt that stinks and stings;
Whose buzz the witty and the fair annoys,
Yet wit ne'er tastes, and beauty ne'r enjoys,
So well-bred spaniels civilly delight
In mumbling of the game they dare not bite.
Eternal smiles his emptiness betray,
As shallow streams run dimpling all the way.
Whether in florid impotence he speaks,
And, as the prompter breathes, the puppet squeaks;
Or at the ear of Eve, familiar toad,
Half froth, half venom, spits himself abroad,
In puns, or politics, or tales, or lies,
Or spite, or smut, or rhymes, or blasphemies.
His wit all see-saw, between that and this ,
Now high, now low, now Master up, now Miss,
And he himself one vile antithesis.
Amphibious thing! that acting either part,
The trifling head, or the corrupted heart,
Fop at the toilet, flatt'rer at the board,
Now trips a lady, and now struts a lord.
Eve's tempter thus the rabbins have express'd,
A cherub's face, a reptile all the rest;
Beauty that shocks you, parts that none will trust,
Wit that can creep, and pride that licks the dust.

       Not fortune's worshipper, nor fashion's fool,
Not lucre's madman, nor ambition's tool,
Not proud, nor servile, be one poet's praise,
That, if he pleas'd, he pleas'd by manly ways;
That flatt'ry, even to kings, he held a shame,
And thought a lie in verse or prose the same:
That not in fancy's maze he wander'd long,
But stoop'd to truth, and moraliz'd his song:
That not for fame, but virtue's better end,
He stood the furious foe, the timid friend,
The damning critic, half-approving wit,
The coxcomb hit, or fearing to be hit;
Laugh'd at the loss of friends he never had,
The dull, the proud, the wicked, and the mad;
The distant threats of vengeance on his head,
The blow unfelt, the tear he never shed;
The tale reviv'd, the lie so oft o'erthrown;
Th' imputed trash, and dulness not his own;
The morals blacken'd when the writings 'scape;
The libell'd person, and the pictur'd shape;
Abuse, on all he lov'd, or lov'd him, spread,
A friend in exile, or a father, dead;
The whisper, that to greatness still too near,
Perhaps, yet vibrates on his sovereign's ear:—
Welcome for thee, fair Virtue! all the past:
For thee, fair Virtue! welcome ev'n the last!

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Nov 20 - 01:13 AM

To strive for virtue's better end
feels like it would be enough.
but there is room for much more.
So much in fact, we oft ignore.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Nov 20 - 08:06 AM

Rap did you feel guilty or inadequate when you wrote that ? :^)

No, I can't forget that evening
Or Fox News as votes were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
I always yell but in my eyes my anger grows
Yes, it grows
No, I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrows
I had the white house then they turned off the power
And now it is not fair they turned off the power
The fucking power
I can't lie, if lieing is without power
I can't grift, I can't gripe any more
Can't live, if living is without TV !
I can't tweet, I can't tweet any more!
Well, I can't forget that evening
Or the anger of them stealing
But I guess that's just the…

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Nov 20 - 09:49 PM

Neque sermonibus vulgi dederis te, nec in præmiis spem posueris rerum tuarum; suis te oportet illecebris ipsa virtus trahat ad verum decus. Quid de te alii loquantur, ipsi videant, sed loquentur tamen.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 20 - 02:39 PM

Res ipsos loquitor.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Nov 20 - 03:35 PM

I'm going to go through the house a room at a time dusting everything. By the time I finish it will be time to start over again. I'm going to be virtuous and not ignore the dust.

Did someone trigger the balloons at the Legion Hovel?

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 20 - 09:55 PM

Always. The first batch of balloons to fall contains plain old water to wet down the merry-makers and the second half contains a 50-50 solution of soap and disinfectant. After everyone is clean and dry (warm air spray) they are liberally sprayed with DDT (the last legal use of that in the world) to kill off any and all insects infesting hair, beards, and other body hair and orifices. The fire department's hazmat team then does their job with the DDT-laced residue and everyone has some more "Portneuf Lemonade", toasts the newly-elected, and heads to their home or a house of some sort or other.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Nov 20 - 01:00 AM

Keeps the malaria down also.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Nov 20 - 12:56 PM

I ordered a heating pad and lidocaine from Amazon yesterday (Sunday) at 3PM and it arrived 4 hours later.
I ordered a silk carpet from China and it took nearly 72 hours.