MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 20 - 04:23 PM

And also

Little Orphant Annie's come to our house to stay,
An' wash the cups and saucers up, an' brush the crumbs away,
An' shoo the chickens off the porch, an' dust the hearth, an' sweep,
An' make the fire, an' bake the bread, an* earn her board-an'-keep;
An' all us other children, when the supper things is done,
We set around the kitchen fire an' has the mostest fun
A-list'nin' to the witch-tales 'at Annie tells about,
An' the Gobble-uns 'at gits you
?Ef you
?Don't
?Watch
?Out!


Onc't they was a little boy wouldn't say his pray'rs—
An' when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs,
His mammy heerd him holler, an' his daddy heerd him bawl,
An' when they turn't the kivvers down, he wasn't there at all!
An' they seeked him in the rafter-room, an* cubby-hole, an' press,
An' seeked him up the chimbly flue, an' ever'wheres, I guess;
But all they ever found was thist his pants an' roundabout!
An' the Gobble-uns'll git you
?Ef you
?Don't
?Watch
?Out!


An' one time a little girl 'ud allus laugh an' grin,
An' make fun of ever' one, an' all her blood-an'-kin;
An' onc't when they was "company," an' ole folks was there,
She mocked 'em an' shocked 'em, an' said she didn't care!
An' thist as she kicked her heels, an' turn't to run an' hide,
They was two great big Black Things a-standin' by her side,
An' they snatched her through the ceilin' 'fore she knowed what she's about!
An' the Gobble-uns'll git you
?Ef you
?Don't
?Watch
?Out!


An' little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue,
An' the lamp wick sputters, an' the wind goes woo-oo!
An' you hear the crickets quit, an' the moon is gray,
An' the lightnin'-bugs in dew is all squenched away,
You better mind yer parents, an' yer teachers fond an' dear,
An' churish them 'at loves you, an' dry the orphant's tear,
An' he'p the pore an' needy ones 'at clusters all about,
Er the Gobble-uns'll git you
?Ef you
?Don't
?Watch
?Out!

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 May 20 - 04:21 PM

My mother read us

The little toy dog is covered with dust,
    But sturdy and staunch he stands;
The little toy soldier is red with rust,
    And his musket molds in his hands.
Time was when the little toy dog was new
    And the soldier was passing fair;
And that was the time when our Little Boy Blue
    Kissed them and put them there.

“Now, don’t you go till I come,” he said,
    “And don’t you make any noise!”
So, toddling off to his trundle-bed,
    He dreamed of the pretty toys;
And as he was dreaming, an angel song
    Awakened our Little Boy Blue —
Oh! the years are many, the years are long,
    But the little toy friends are true!

Aye, faithful to Little Boy Blue they stand,
    Each in the same old place —
Awaiting the touch of a little hand,
    And the smile of a little face;
And they wonder, as waiting these long years through
    In the dust of that little chair,
What has become of our Little Boy Blue
    Since he kissed them and put them there.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 May 20 - 01:27 PM

So Stilly used to entertain her kids with poems about children who died after chopping their hands off. And nobody ever called Child Protective Services?

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 May 20 - 05:55 PM

When I took a wood shop class in high school, I learned that the tool responsible for the most injuries is not the table saw or the band saw or the lathe, but the wood chisel. Everyone thinks it's simple and safe so they get careless.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 20 - 04:54 PM

Is there severance pay?

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 20 - 03:36 PM

Mr. Wagner was more round than tall and had a backyard as steep as 45 degrees. He labored at digging a double terrace. When he got older he decided to use extra long railroad ties to trim the vertical earth that wanted to give way. He should have used stone but railroad ties seemed better. The work was harder the older he got and he liked his beer.
By the time he finished he had handcut and fit nearly 50 rail road ties.
He averaged one lost finger every five rail road ties since the saw would bind and surprise him. Today the job is done and Mr. Wagner has his thumbs and one finger.
The moral of this story is that perspiration and perseverence
is foolish when it becomes severence, go finger.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 May 20 - 12:26 PM

I think the trauma this year is psychic and is huge; for real serendipity you can't go wrong with a double-headed axe, though power tools can be epic. Consider Robert Frost's Out, out–. I read that one to my kids a number of times as we worked our way through Frost poetry collections at bedtime (we read at bedtime until they were in high school; that would have been the thing of nightmares for small children.)

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 20 - 12:25 PM

'231 pays'
I recognize p as an upside down backwards d. My mancave has 2 large mirrors at right angles to allow views from 4 different couch/body positions, 2 of which are backward and demands a D'Vinci like ability to read backwards. Reading backwards is no problem but words over 7 letters are still time consuming.

Using double prismatic goggles will allow an upside down backward visual field which makes using power tools far more exciting.

Have fun.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 20 - 11:51 AM

Wood chippers and chain saws are the way to go.
Weed whackers and hedge trimmers are for wimps.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 May 20 - 10:07 AM

From a physical standpoint, 2020 has been a relatively injury and trauma free year for me. But I'm going to buy a couple of new outdoor tools today and 2020 still has 231 pays to catch up.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 20 - 01:11 AM

Well as you know there is a war on. The Corporal just brought in some pancake bisquits and fresh unknown leaf tea. The self isolation in our unit is pretty severe since we don't even allow eye contact.
Sgt. Felix Shadwell still has a cast on his left hand but manages guitar quite well with 2 fingers still exposed and can play most chords by applying his one front tooth on the E string. Playing revelie on a halting guitar is not good for morale but its better than nothing.

After breakfast I ordered Steve Shaw to be washed and brought to my tent for interrogation. We are planning a scouting expedition to a store alledged to have supplies. With any luck the intelligence will end with a raiding party that might even find electricity to charge our devices. We've been using induction charging by rubbing a balloon on our hair and touching the phone. We're running out of balloons and need more but Shadwell discovered inflated condoms work even better.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 May 20 - 12:41 AM

Scars are us this year at the MOAB. The six-inch scar down the middle of my knee is coming along.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 20 - 09:43 PM

The cast is off. The thumb looks like I have ichthyosis with a 2.5 inch scar down the middle of it.

There is no charger shortage. It is a plot by George Gates and Bill Soros and the Cock Brothers to bring about a newish world order with the Illuminati in control. You will soon be kowtowing to anyone who can correctly pronounce "Chwyrligwgan" because the NishWO will be based in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch so you can't get a ticket to go there.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 13 May 20 - 08:01 AM

Power outages all morning. I better order chargers while I can.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 13 May 20 - 07:49 AM

This may the chance of a lifetime for Donuel DeNiro.
The show must go on.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 May 20 - 07:35 AM

In just 3 hours and 25 minutes the cast comes off. I hope the troupe doesn't mind being between engagements again.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 10:18 AM

No judgements here but if You reealy need stimulus $ you have to do it the American way.
Go to the dark web and buy 100 SS numbers for $5. File all 100 numbers for stimulus $ with your change of address info. You will average about 3-5% of stimulus checks.

You will get other people's stimulus $ , which is probably what happened to you.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:18 AM

It's a jungle out there
People sowin confusion everywhere
No one one seems to care, well I do HEY
who's in charge here?

It's a jungle out there
Poison in the very air we breathe
You know whats in the water that you drink
Well I do, its ..so.. crazy
People think I'm crazy that I worry all the time
If you paid attention you'd be worried too
You better pay attention or this world we love so much

Might.. Just.. Kill You

I could be wrong now......But I don't think so

Cuz there's a jungle out there
It's a jungle out there


Randy Newman

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 20 - 06:14 PM

Feeling the need for stimulus, I just tried to find where the IRS is ending my stimulus check (ends Wednesday). I put in my 2019 income tax info, I put in everything they wanted. Twice it came back as "does not match the records in our files". On the third try it said that I'd exceeded my allowance of tries for the day and to come back in 24 hours.

I'm stimulated, all right.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 10 May 20 - 08:21 AM

Happy Birthday

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 20 - 09:52 PM

900!!

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 20 - 09:51 PM

9.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 20 - 09:51 PM

8.

Subject: RE: MOST - Mother of some truth [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 May 20 - 02:57 PM

The 1st innovation is from an American woman and the second is from 2 guys in Europe. Needless to say they have never met each other but thats how fortunes are made by knowledgable 3rd parties.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 May 20 - 02:30 PM

btw There is now room for the next generation Lithium battery that can not overheat, burn or explode and can use poly chain molecules that bypass the use of all precious metals on the cheap for every current use and beyond.

Adding these two innovations will make someone a billionaire.
I just hope it won't be a robber baron.

One would need those 2 innovations and an army of lawyers of course.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 May 20 - 02:20 PM

My MOM complained that the four of us never got sick all at once, so there was one year when a lot of stuff was going around and she'd have a month's worth of sick kids (averaging a week of school lost per kid) at a time. That's tough even when she was a stay-at-home mom at the time.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 May 20 - 02:12 PM

Anyone can but Nobody knows and Somebody should do some thing.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 09 May 20 - 12:36 PM

Oh yeah? I betcha I was sicker than you. I had measles and chickenpox at the same time. A 107 fever is recoverable. You wouldn't recover all your brain cells but you could still be a congressman.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 20 - 09:41 AM

I was quarantined once before, in my youth. Even my mother wouldn't come in the room, but simply threw some broth or a hard crust of bread in my direction. The doctor used a 25 foot long stethoscope to examine me. But to the amazement of everyone I survived. I owe it all to a life of dissipation and overindulgence before I was five which hardened my constitution against the diseases of childhood.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 May 20 - 11:28 AM

In quarantine, in quarantine
No one can hear you if you scream
In quarantine.

So don't fall down,
Don't bang your head,
Above all else don't fall down dead,
In quarantine.
                  --"Songs For Quarantine", 1768 or thereabouts

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 08 May 20 - 09:44 AM

All the songs about pandemic seem morbid or profane. So here is a zippy calypso beat with steel drums and a tune we all already know.
You know, the one sung by a red crab. ENJOY A Happy tune
Under the sea:

The sickest are always greener
In somebody else's State
You dream about going 'up' there
But that is a big mistake
Just look at the world around you
Right here at blue heaven's gate
Such wonderful things surround you
What is your ultimate fate?

In Quarantine
In Quarantine
Each little griever
Down with a fever
Take it from me

Up in Montana they work all day
In the meat plants they slave away
The Navy's devotin'
No Hospital boatin'
Docked in the bay

Out there all the folks is happy
Like hot dogs snug in their roll
The old in a home ain't happy
They sad 'cause they got a cold
But folks on the phone are lucky
on a cruise you have a worser fate
One day everyones sickly
eatin off the same ol' plates

In quarantine
In quarantine
Nobody beat us
We jus breathed dust
Stuff we can't see

Its the old folks who are on the hook
Lots of food for the young to cook
They got no troubles
Life is all bubbles
In quarantine (out on the beach)
In quarantine
Since life is sweet here
We got the beat here
Naturally (Naturally)

Even the doctor and the nurse
They get the surge an ride the hearse
We got the spirit
You got to hear it
Above the streets

Yeah, In quarantine
In Quarantine
playin the B ball
life is in free fall.
In Quarantine

The mail man can play
The grocers on strings
The krauts rockin' out
The agent she sings
The spanic and the black
They know where it's at
An' oh that trumpet blow

Yeah, In quarantine
In quarantine
When the projects
Begin the concert
It's music to me (It's music to me)
What do they got? A Stienway grand?
We got a hot apartment house band
Each little fam here
Know how to jam here
In quarantine
Each little bug here
Cuttin' a rug here
In quarantine
Each giant whale here
Know how to wail here
That's why it's better
Under the weather
Ya not much luck here
Stuck in New York here
in quarantine

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 May 20 - 08:10 PM

Rap, that fire is in this county, but about 25 miles south if where I live. I just hope the yahoos in this part of the county can resist the urge to burn trash piles and such until after we get some rain.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 20 - 04:32 PM

I did laundry today and it's a nice dry windy day on which I would normally hang some of these clothes on the line. But I don't know if the puppy will leave them alone and I don't want to spray that Petco "Yuck!" on my clothes to get her to leave them alone. I'll have to test her ability to leave stuff alone with an old pair of jeans that I don't wear any more (so if they get shredded she'll get shouted at but I won't be out a favorite pair of pants).

Dogs. You can't live with them and you can't live without them. Well, not very well, anyway. Life is better with dogs.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 May 20 - 10:09 AM

Bee-Dub, is that fire near you? Or were you just firing pots?

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 May 20 - 12:48 AM

I seem to change my mind about piles of limestone around here every few years. I've built small walls around the yard then moved them or used them as pavers. We're just speeding up geological time a little around our yards.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 May 20 - 11:03 PM

I tore down my wood-fire kiln today. I built the arch about twenty-five years ago from salvaged fire brick I got at no charge for hauling it away. But I never finished the other parts (firebox, front and rear walls, chimney) for various reasons, including that I was going to have to buy new brick to finish the project and it was going to cost a shitload. So today, twenty-five years later, I decided the bricks could be put to better use as pavers or something and tore it all down. One man, one hydraulic bottle jack, one length of two-by-four, one crowbar, one big pile of bricks, no injuries.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 20 - 10:23 PM

No one has posted ANY BS in the last two days??? There hasn't been ANY??

I doubt that! Get on the stick, sibs!

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 May 20 - 09:39 PM

Three things that are the best in the world: the hand of a good carpenter, the hand of a skilled woman, the hand of a good smith.
                   --Meyer, Triads, 76.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 May 20 - 08:13 PM

Cetheora aipgitre báse: báithe, condailbe, imresan, doingthe.
                                    --Kuno Meyer, Triads, 252.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 03 May 20 - 03:35 PM

Hammers and concrete, thats pretty hard core. It looks like things harder than tapioca could get one suspended or banned subject to commitee/secret police review.
There have been posts complaining of Gestapo tactics here for more than 20 years by all sorts of lively characters. The issues of separating issues of humour, misinformation, misunderstanding or deliberate hate are still a question for Big Facebook or tiny mudcat.

BS'MOAB' has been pared down to a mudpuddle so small there is a diverity shortage that is noticable. Perhaps because of the pandemic I miss strangers more, be they intelligent, inane, insane, or inable.

When it comes to comedy is nothing sacred? YES

Regarding the subject of trollism I selected exactly one testy elitist to demonstrate how funny silly trollism is. A few people get it but it doesn't make me a troll anymore than making fun of gambling makes me a gambler.

As for selling secrets to the Russians I never have, because I am not a Republican.



I guess Betelgeuse is running late. :^?

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 20 - 10:08 PM

If she had a hammer, she'd hammer in the mornin' she'd hammer in the evenin' all over her fence....

Stilly said to the shaker,"Shaker, you better pray, 'cause if I miss with this two-pound hammer tomorrow be your buryin' day, Lord Lord....

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 May 20 - 05:55 PM

I remembered what I did last time - I dodn't have the jack for pulling out posts so I put on safety goggles and got out a 2-pound hammer and a concrete chisel and knocked off enough of the concrete until I could lift the entire thing out of the hole. Two left.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 20 - 04:20 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGu__oqMcKM

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 20 - 04:19 PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGu__oqMcKM

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 20 - 03:40 PM

Ochs for godsake. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3qgiNPVpSM

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 May 20 - 01:18 PM

I cried when they shot Medgar Evers
Tears ran down my spine
And I cried when they shot Mr. Kennedy
As though I'd lost a father of mine
But Malcolm X got what was coming
He got what he asked for this time
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal
Get it?

I go to civil rights rallies
And I put down the old D.A.R (D.A.R., that's the Dykes of the American Revolution)
I love Harry and Sidney and Sammy
I hope every colored boy becomes a star
But don't talk about revolution
That's going a little bit too far
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

I cheered when Humphrey was chosen
My faith in the system restored
I'm glad that the Commies were thrown out
Of the A.F.L. C.I.O. board
And I love Puerto Ricans and Negros
As long as they don't move next door
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

Ah, the people of old Mississippi
Should all hang their heads in shame
Now, I can't understand how their minds work
What's the matter don't they watch Les Crane?
But if you ask me to bus my children
I hope the cops take down your name
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

Yes, I read New Republic and Nation
I've learned to take every view
You know, I've memorized Lerner and Golden
I feel like I'm almost a Jew
But when it comes to times like Korea
There's no one more red, white and blue
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

I vote for the democratic party
They want the U.N. to be strong
I attend all the Pete Seeger concerts
He sure gets me singing those songs
And I'll send all the money you ask for
But don't ask me to come on along
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

Once I was young and impulsive
I wore every conceivable pin
Even went to the socialist meetings
Learned all the old Union hymns
But I've grown older and wiser
And that's why I'm turning you in
So love me, love me, love me, I'm a liberal

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 02 May 20 - 10:52 AM

1. Oh my name it is nothin'
My age it means less
The country I come from
Is called the Midwest
I's taught and brought up there
The laws to abide
And that land that I live in
Has God on its side.
2. Oh the history books tell it
They tell it so well
The cavalries charged
The Indians fell
The cavalries charged
The Indians died
Oh the country was young
With God on its side.
3. Oh the Spanish-American
War had its day
And the Civil War too
Was soon laid away
And the names of the heroes
I's made to memorize
With guns in their hands
And God on their side.
4. Oh the First World War, boys
It came and it went
The reason for fighting
I never did get
But I learned to accept it
Accept it with pride
For you don't count the dead
When God's on your side.
5. When the Second World War
Came to an end
We forgave the Germans
And then we were friends
Though they murdered six million
In the ovens they fried
The Germans now too
Have God on their side.
6. I've learned to hate the Russians
All through my whole life
If another war comes
It's them we must fight
To hate them and fear them
To run and to hide
And accept it all bravely
With God on my side.
7. But now we got weapons
Of biological dust
If fire them we're forced to
Then fire them we must
One push of the button
And a shot the world wide
And you never ask questions
When God's on your side.
8. Through isolation days
I've heard old war cries
between the blues and greys
Reds say $ is above lives
Some blame it on the yellow
You'll have to decide
Who rings most hollow
Had God on his side.
9. So now as I'm coughin'
I'm weary as hell
The confusion I'm feelin'
Ain't no tongue can tell
The words fill my head
And fall to the floor
That if God's on our side
He'll stop the next war.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 20 - 09:34 PM

Made Icelandic mushroom soup. Quite good, but it's not like having it at the Hotal Ranga in Iceland or in downtown Reykjavik. Besides, I used dried morels and dried "medley" as well as a bunch of the mushrooms you can get in the grocery. And not having any madeira on hand I used a dry white cabarnet sauvignon. A rich soup, and good.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 May 20 - 06:15 PM

I look not for quantity, but the quality which is my hallmark.

Subject: RE: MOAB - Mother of All BS [annex]
From: Donuel
Date: 01 May 20 - 01:59 PM

Rap has 4000+ to go for 50,000 posts