Toilet/Bar Training

Subject: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Johnny J
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 06:04 AM

One important piece of concert etiquette which I learned very quickly was not to leave my seat during a performance except between songs, sets, etc. The ideal time is just at the end of the applause or, perhaps, during the last moments of same.

At a more formal concert, I will usually wait until the interval if possible as I don't have quite the same thirst as in my younger days.

However, I never cesae to be amazed at the odd times people choose to leave their seats and/or re-enter. I've noticed, for instance, that it's not uncommon to get up once a performer(s) actually starts a new song. The only reason I can think of there is that he/she might feel that it would have been rude to move while the singer/musician/band were talking or doing their introductions etc. However, that seems a particularly inappropriate time to me.

Of course, in cases of urgency, it may be necessary to leave while a song etc is progress but this isn't usually the case.

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 06:28 AM

As you get older, there can be a problem in singarounds when your urgency gets into phase with the rotation round the room. If you keep leaving before the same performer sings, it can give an unintended impression of rudeness.

DC

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Johnny J
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 06:34 AM

:-))

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: GUEST,Peter
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 07:47 AM

I usually start to head to the bar/loo during the applause for the previous number.

I agree that some people just don't get the idea of a concert at all and others seem to think that good manners only apply for classical music.

My kids are grown up now but I still get angry about the number of parents who chatted through school concerts.

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: GUEST,Peter
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 07:49 AM

Not sure what happned to that post, shame we aren't on modern forum software that allows an edit.

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 09:43 AM

Shame you aren't.
I agree with Johnny J, but I don't think later generations may always get the memo.

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 09:56 AM

And just to keep complaining...
People often don't get schooled in music etiquette. Not just getting up during a performance, but talking. I think they're so used to "canned" music, they don't know how to act around humans on a stage. They maybe dream of a "pause" button.
They also don't want to work at editing their own post before sending it (whoa-whattaconcept), but I suppose that's a bridge too old school.

Of course, maybe the getting up is a matter of bladder (or other) imperatives, and nobody else can really judge how badly someone else needs to pee.

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 12:16 PM

Thanks for reminding me I need to order my mum's next 3 months supply of TENA Lady Pads...


Hmmmmm... pads with celtic and other ethnic music inspired patterned
designs..
.. there's an idea for a range of products target marketed to our folkie community...

Dispenser machines in all the folk clubs...???

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 12:25 PM

btw.. when I was a little boy and my dad's idea of childcare
was taking me to the pub with him Saturday lunchtimes..

I asked him what the machines on the wall in the gents were for..

He told me they were hearing aid battery dispensers...
That's handy to know now I'm getting older and deafer...

But maybe folkies would prefer ear plugs machines in the bogs...???

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Acorn4
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 01:23 PM

This slightly adapted Pete Morton son ( I did ask!)

Another Verse

If the beginning was now, you’d have made the break,
But you managed to miss your chance, that was your big mistake,
And now you’re stuck here bursting for the loo,
When you heard those words “Child Ballad” it should have been your cue

But there’s another verse, there always is,
Tho’ you’re desperate for a leak we could still be here next week,
Another verse there always is, maybe the next one’s the last,
But hope is fading fast, yet another verse.

You hope it’s done , but there’s no such thing,
You’re in the grip of Musgrave, Lord Bateman or Tam Lin,
Squinting at their ipad, they bumble through the words
How you regret your mistake of not escaping while you could.

But there’s another verse, there always is,

You try crossing your legs, try to hold on
Imagine a parallel universe where the ballads are not long,
Now they’ve lost their place , as it staggers on;
There should be something like a driving test
To sing this sort of song.

But there’s another verse, there always is,

Though we like to show respect, pretend to be enthralled
We all know who will be to blame for that puddle on the floor
When you heard “Child Ballad” I imagined that
You’d be listening to Bob the Builder, Firemen Sam or Postman Pat

But there’s another verse, there always is,
Add
But you won’t get to the loo as we’re not yet halfway through another verse.
.and on a minute wait, I’ve just seen the fire escape..

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 08:06 PM

Audience behaviour tends to go down the pan (excuse the pan pun!) progressively, the less formal seating arrangements are: people are more likely to stay in their seats until a natural break if their are formal rows of chairs, though not all of them, as Johnny Jay has noted. "Cabaret style" with chairs and tables increases drink consumption and therefore trips to the loo. And as for "standing only" concerts, it seems it's the done thing to scream and shout at your neighbour/partner over the music: I sometimes wonder what people go for if not to listen!
Classcal music is not exempt: now it seems the fashion for the orchestra to play all their fancy twiddly bits in the pit while waiting for the concert to start. In my long-gone days of playing with an orchestra, all warm-ups had to be completed in the green room, apart from a final tune-up to the oboe's A once in the hall. And any production which is preceded by an overture, such as opera, operetta or musical theatre is now taken by some audience members to be background music for them to keep talking. Aaarrrgghh!

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Joe Offer
Date: 13 Oct 19 - 08:32 PM

As I age, I find myself not trying to be polite any more. If I gotta go, I gotta go. I try to leave between songs and without making a disturbance, and to stand at the entrance to the rooms when I return, until there's a break between songs.
I think that in general, it's rude to move during a song, but OK to move between songs if you must.

We got a hot-tempered Irish priest in our parish in about 2005. The choir members stand during the entire Mass, except for the sermon - and a number of singers would head for the bathroom before his sermon because it was the only break they got during the 1-hour Mass. A couple of times, he noticed; and he would stop his sermon and say that we'd wait until people got back from the restroom. It never happened when I had to go, but I was ready to say, "That's OK, I have irritable bowel syndrome and I really can't adjust to your schedule. You go ahead without me." I am the only person in the parish who would be likely to respond like that. But the bastard retired a couple years ago and I never got the chance. I did yell across the church once about how "fucked up" he was, but only he was there to hear me. Probably that was a good thing.

But anyhow, those who would pass judgment should realize that they may soon be in the same situation. If ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

But if I'm performing, I go to extremes to avoid having to leave in an obvious hurry.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Jack Campin
Date: 14 Oct 19 - 06:55 AM

The most disruptive bodily function I've ever encountered was a woman who coughed continuously through an intense expressionist piece for solo clarinet, the first item in concert. She left after that piece. It was only about ten minutes long and I really wanted to hear it: I'd have liked it to be repeated but it didn't happen.

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Johnny J
Date: 14 Oct 19 - 09:52 AM

Thanks for all the comments.

I fully appreciate the "If you gotta go" sentiments but it's just the timing. Immediately after a performer has started a song or whatever seems quite inappropriate to me and very odd!

I can even understand, someone might feel the urge "mid way" into a song or set especially if it's very lengthy but why during the first few bars or verse?

Subject: RE: Toilet/Bar Training
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 14 Oct 19 - 10:37 AM

From my turns on festival stewarding, I often get stationed at the back side door of the main concert hall. We put signs on the door asking people only to enter or leave the hall during applause/breaks between songs or sets, and the MC usually also makes a polite request to this effect at the start of the concert. We have come to rhe conclusion that in spite of this, you really cannot stop anyone determined to get up and leave, but we do try to stop anyone re-entering until a suitable break. The door itself can open outwards or inwards, but if the latter, it comes up against me and some big heavy curtains! So, in very big letters on the outside of the door is "PULL!" but guess some people just can't read!
In another place I nearly had my arm broken by a very drunk woman after I had placed it across the door: she was intent on barging in in the middle of a song, and not going to take no for an answer from several of us patiently waiting to go back in at the end of a song. She was noisy and very rudely spoken too!