BS: Thread for people to take offense at

Subject: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 03:46 PM

I've decided it is hard work trying to avoid giving offense. So this thread is for anyone who wants to take offense at something Please feel free to take offense at any of the posts herein so other threads can continue without being detailed by anyone's sensitivities.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 03:53 PM

Give offense, take offense ...
did you mean
"de-railed" rather than 'detailed' ?

Anyway, funny you should ask.

Robert Carlyle, who has relocated to Vancouver
in the past ten years,
where it is easier for him to find work than in the UK,
got coaxed into voicing an opinion in a recent interview.
And he often ends up, in the press, with the worst of it,
just for being blunt.

The interviewer said "what about Brexit"
and Carlyle wished to make the point that
some friends of his, "back home,"
had seen their families torn apart by conflicting positions on Brexit,
and he found it very sad.

I think, anyway, that was what was important to Carlyle.
But because he blurted out that Brexit is "a f*****g disaster"
the press jumped all over him for his
"hot-tempered," "foul-mouthed" "outburst."

sometimes, you can't win for losing.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 03:56 PM

Isn't it spelt offence?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 04:14 PM

Sure but who's grading?
Its better to not take offence but rather to build or make a fence.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 04:55 PM

Offence with a c is a noun. As in "it is an offence". Offense with an s is a verb as in giving or taking offense. Same with advice and advise. At least it was when I was a lad.

And, yes, I did mean derailed. Want to make something of it? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 05:01 PM

BTW. Talking of Robert Carlyle, the first episode of War of the Worlds is on.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: robomatic
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 08:26 PM

No offense, DTG, but you are no grammarion. Your posting was inaccurate and obtuse. you don't know what a verb is, apparently. Moreover, I have not read of a military launching an offencive.

From Grammarly:


    Offence and offense are both correct.

    Offence is the spelling more commonly used outside of the United States.

    Offense is the spelling more commonly used in the United States.

Feel free to give or take offence or offense!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 08:33 PM

"grammarion"

I'm appalled and severely offended by the misspelling of this word by a fellow purporting to criticise someone else's grammatical failings, and would, in addition, point out to him the gross misuse of a comma in his post. As they say, tsk...

Yours sincerely

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 08:54 PM

God I hoped this would not have turned into a grammar fight/fest like the old days. :^/

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 08:57 PM

Offense is not a verb. I offense you? I think not.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Iains
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 03:22 AM

The correct spelling would depend on whether you take webster or the Oxford dictionary as your source.
On a site such as this, covering both sides of the pond, who cares?
There must be more worthwhile subjects to rant on!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 03:23 AM

That's more like it. The advice I would advise people of is that it is an offence to give offense.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Acorn4
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 04:25 AM

And i get really offended when "enjoy" is used as an intransitive verb!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: G-Force
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 07:31 AM

Thread for people to take offense at

And a preposition is something you shouldn't end a sentence with.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 07:47 AM

That is something up with which I will not put!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 08:50 AM

offence is often the assertive part of defence.

I realised that when I started to dislike political humour. So I ditched favourites and suddenly it was funny again.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 09:27 AM

I really ort to be better at spelling and grammer
seeing how i went to gramner shcool...

anyways, i doint care...

grammer peedants aer too boring swots, and probably virgins...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 09:49 AM

Sounds like a good time to reiterate the golden rules of English usage, so here goes:

Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. Winston Churchill, corrected on this error once, responded to the young man who corrected him by saying "Young man, that is the kind of impudence up with which I will not put!

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies endlessly over and over again.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren't always necessary and shouldn't be used to excess so don't.

Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous and can be excessive.

All generalizations are bad.

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don't use no double negatives.

Avoid excessive use of ampersands & abbrevs., etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake (Unless they are as good as gold).

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words, however, should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.

Don't overuse exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed and use it correctly with words' that show possession.

Don't use too many quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.. Tell me what you know."

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a billion times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. Besides, hyperbole is always overdone, anyway.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions? However, what if there were no rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters.

People don't spell "a lot" correctly alot of the time.

Each person should use their possessive pronouns correctly.

All grammar and spelling rules have exceptions (with a few exceptions)....Morgan's Law.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

The dash - a sometimes useful punctuation mark - can often be overused - even though it's a helpful tool some of the time.

Proofread carefully to make sure you don't repeat repeat any words.

In writing, it's important to remember that dangling sentences.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 09:55 AM

Avoid cliches like the plague is my favo[u]rite on that list.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: robomatic
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 06:55 PM

Ahh, the old reporpoising of words so as to take lemans and make lemonaid.

Somehow this is good for the ol' blud preshure. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 08:03 PM

With any luck i offended two target groups for the price of one..

grammar police, and virgins...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: BobL
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 02:23 AM

Steve, you left out:

Eschew obfuscation

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 02:48 AM

I always liked the monster raving loony party's policy on defence.

They were going to paint all de fences white so politicians couldn't sit on them.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 08:40 AM

Apparently businessmen are too corrupt to be President.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 10:14 AM

Lemans ahahahaha!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Raggytash
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 04:10 PM

As we use to say years ago, some posts get right up my left nostril.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: robomatic
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 06:27 PM

That's almost having a nose for noose.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 01:56 PM

I find the entire subject of racism should be called tribalism. Even native American Algonquins were immigrants. Everyone calling each other racists or not is so last century, fugetaboutit.

We know better now that we don't know who the 'originals' were, except for 3 handfulls from the African continent and a few pockets of similar homo species around the globe.

Racism is a delusion and should be delegated to the trash heap of history. Us and them is tribalism which is similar but does not legitimize the xeno-fear as the word racism has.

Meanwhile by carrying on the racist spat, people perpetualize racism in a perverse time honored pattern. ptooey

You are ALL TRIBALISTS but only the right wing are the vestigal racists. Nazis were the best racists. They hated everyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 03:08 PM

How dare!

I hear the youth of America exclaiming. Apparently not all transitive verbs are...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 03:14 PM

I am beside myself with rage.

Hmmmm. I must wash being my ears.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 03:47 PM

Occupational health and saftey department has issued a warning to not store dildos in the same drawer as your Ronco Pocket Pussy

Overheated lithium batteries may be a fire hazzard.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mr Red
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 04:46 PM

Unless they are as good as gold

Is it analogy or similarly simile? Don't be too anal about it though! And is there a golden rule for this?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 05:50 PM

Overheard telephone call:

Pompeo: It doesn't have to be this way. President: I have no choice! Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore. (Trump closes in on Pompeo, raising up on his fat legs intimidatingly) Pompeo: But bribing and extorting foreign countries? Donald: I'll fuck up a thousand countries before I let my company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way! Pompeo: MMmphh

Chairman Schiff: Ambassador Sondland, you recorded this on your phone?
yes

Jim Jordan: Thats hear say!
Schiff: Gentleman will suspend
Jim Jordan: I heard him say it so its Hearsay!
Gavel bang: Gentleman will SUSPEND!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 05:52 PM

You're obsessed. Poor thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 12:31 PM

Go use your colon cancer kit already.
If by any chance your village is so small that your proctologist and dentist is the same guy, make sure your dentist appointment is first.

btw I believe you have posted about Brexit once or twice.
Over here they are live broadcasting the Impeachment hearings that can be over 12 hours a day.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 12:49 PM

Bollocks to everything that doesn't interest me...

.. and bollocks to a lot of what does as well...

Everybody elses's obsessions are boring, and not as important as mine..


That should take care of offending as many folks as possible today...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 12:52 PM

RE: your colon cancer kit.

Don't just shit in the box and return it this time.
Read the instructions.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:10 PM

A man or woman is more noble than a scruffy house, more important than a fear and disdain of opticians and dentists, more valued than the resources they wield, more sacred than the way they are treated by their government and more genius than their sometimes warped sense of priorities.

In the spirit of offensiveness, I love you guys NOW FUCK OFF.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:23 PM

You can do better than that.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:32 PM

Best I was recently was "Thanks for your considered and intelligent post. I may get round to reading it later."

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:40 PM

You make me sick:
You should call up Chuck, he'll throw up enough messages to make you gag. Spewing disinformation is like a retch heaving ho. Its a sick mess that could make you vomit.
Allow me to regurgitate and toss cookies your way, to puke is not a fluke.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:53 PM

Steve your wife says that when you barf it sounds like you are yelling the word EUROPE.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 04:00 PM

Get help.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Acorn4
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 05:25 PM

Big is an adjective - how can you "big up" something unless you can "little down" something.

And medal is a noun but you can now medal in a competition.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 06:26 PM

I love help. Methinks you are offended.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Nov 19 - 05:17 PM

Ah, yes, verbing nouns. English is great.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 19 - 05:25 PM

What about norbs or veons?

I realise that I was applying the same rules to offense and offence as I would to practice and practise, advice and advise. I should apologise but I couldn't give a shit really.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mr Red
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 07:33 AM

When my garden border collapsed, I took a fence. Away.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 07:49 AM

You have me a very fond memory, Mr Red. My first job was in the front office for a local council maintenance department. An old chap once came in to complain that a workman had taken his gate. I said I had best not mention it or he may...

Yes, you guessed it :-)

Took him a few seconds but when he twigged it made his day.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 08:19 AM

I never take offense. Taking umbrage is much more satisfying.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 09:38 AM

And it helps keep you dry in a storm.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 01:42 PM

I thought that was an umlat?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 01:49 PM

I have been giving offense when I should have been taking offense?
People often don't give a .... but everyone takes a ....

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 10:45 PM

'taking' offense says it all really...

Selfish bastards with a monumental sense of entitlement..

It's bad manners to take something without asking first...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: DMcG
Date: 24 Nov 19 - 04:15 AM

I am not offended yet. I think that shows a disappointingly low standard of vitriol here.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 Nov 19 - 04:42 AM

You're not trying hard enough DMcG. The experts can take offense at anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Acorn4
Date: 24 Nov 19 - 04:50 AM

And did you realise if you are a performer you can "grow your audience" - I thought if this ever happened it would be the audience that did the growing not me - perhaps if you water them enough?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mo the caller
Date: 24 Nov 19 - 07:30 AM

My pet hate is TIMES
You can have 1 PLUS 2 but you ADD the numbers.
And when I went to school you could have
2 TIMES 3 or you could MULTIPLY 2 and 3. Now (on Countdown) they TIMES them - no, no, no.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 Nov 19 - 02:06 PM

I resemble that remark very strongly. I quote, or possibly paraphrase, the Dog.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Nov 19 - 05:12 PM

When do we pizza and when do we burger?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Nov 19 - 10:28 AM

Hey Tiger Balls, its Pecker. Saw your Tweet about Trump. Man it was like you pistol whipped a blind kid. When the herd loses its way the shepard must kill the bull that leads them astray. But Dude that was A real HARSHMALLOW right between the hockey sticks.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Nov 19 - 10:35 AM

I'm sure I would be offended if I could understand it

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Nov 19 - 03:09 PM

Yeah, me head is sideways

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Nov 19 - 03:16 PM

So what? My side is headways!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Nov 19 - 06:03 PM

Glad your side is making headway

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Nov 19 - 09:01 PM

Its good that you guys have been through enough crap that unimportant egos have no need to take offensiveness personally.
Its an important measure of wisdom, unless preachy crap like this is offensive enough to gag a goat.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Nov 19 - 11:03 AM

I am just too old rather than wise. Lazy, maybe. But I sure done been through some crap, too...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Acorn4
Date: 29 Nov 19 - 01:09 PM

I take great offence at Cinderella as it discriminates against ugly people.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Dec 19 - 11:59 AM

There just isn't enough people taking offense nowadays.

Our new kitchen is nearly finished after about 10 days of madness.

I'm sure someone could take offense at that if they try hard enough. Go on. You know you want to :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Dec 19 - 12:44 PM

(Gasp) aren't! Aren't enough people!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: DMcG
Date: 02 Dec 19 - 01:03 PM

I will decide for myself what to be offended by, thank you very much.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Dec 19 - 01:14 PM

So you lot think your grammar and sensibilities are better than mine.

I know when I've been offended...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Dec 19 - 01:42 PM

At the risk of being wierdly smeared, sued and screwed, the lewd orange one is also known as 'He who should not be insulted'.

How shall we not insult you master? Shall we not mention your immature stupidity? Your vengence when bribes are not paid?
Your actions when called before justice? Oh how shall we ignore your short comings as a human being, oh great Master?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Dec 19 - 09:05 PM

At the risk of being wierdly smeared, sued and screwed, the lewd orange dude is also known as 'He who shall be obeyed'.

Thou shalt not insult him with facts.
Thou shalt not insult him with truth.
Thou shalt not offend him with reason
Thou shalt not tender history but his own
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's truth
Thou shalt not take any dictator before me
Thou shalt not honor anyone but my children
Thou shalt not covet any golden towers but mine
Thou shalt not golf at any golf courses but mine
Thou shalt see that everything is mine, this land is my land

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: MudGuard
Date: 03 Dec 19 - 11:52 AM

I am offended by this thread because - although its intention is to offend me - it does not offend me!

Thus, this thread at the same time offends me and does not offend me / it should vanish in a cloud of logic ...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Dec 19 - 12:43 PM

Norman, coordinate!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Dec 19 - 01:44 PM

Nice to see you, Andreas. Hope I rmembered your name correctly and, if not, you won't take offense :-)

Are you still cycling?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Dec 19 - 01:57 PM

who's Norman ?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: MudGuard
Date: 03 Dec 19 - 02:33 PM

Hello Dave, yes, I am still cycling (this summer I did my 7th tour of Ireland), and yes, my name is still Andreas ;-)
Hope all is well for you!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Dec 19 - 07:19 PM

I was just reminded of a BS thread titled
"fluffy white bunny rabbits"
which was sort of like this thread
only the other way around?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 04 Dec 19 - 04:39 AM

Glad to hear it Andreas :-) We have moved from Salford now to the edge of the Yorkshire Dales and the Tour de Yorkshire passes our front door sometimes so we now see a lot of cycling. If you ever pass this way pop in. You will be more than welcome.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Dec 19 - 09:41 AM

Norman is an android whose head exploded, kind of, because of human logic. One of the best old Trek episodes.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Dec 19 - 05:49 AM

Then there is Baum, a smart alec AI smart bomb that decided to arm itself and countdown to the dismay of a spaceship crew in the movie Dark Star.
The debate with Baum, programed by humans, is a cult classic.
Baum could kick Norman's ass.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Dec 19 - 08:40 AM

How to offend Trump https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx2CnMptUfA

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Dec 19 - 11:58 AM

This thread is far too inoffensive.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Dec 19 - 12:12 PM

There is a computer programmed by, I think, the Chirpsithra (who get drunk on electric shocks), to acquire all knowledge, but when it does instead of telling them it just shut down. Why keep working if you ken all...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Dec 19 - 03:28 PM

The Philosophy of Logic is the best philosophy
One simple bit of logic, makes college life sublime
Now instead of study, we have leisure time.

Because ..
The more you study, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget,
The more you forget, the less you know,
So Why Study?

The less you study, the less you know,
The less you know, the less you forget,
The less you forget, the more you know,
So Why ..., why, why study?


For computing the more you compute
the more data you have to become searchable
the more you search the less you have time to compute
So why compute


In the original lyric Bill D found 2 lines that were internally illogical