BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 07 Feb 20 - 01:03 AM

I have an issue with my car stereo. I can't pick the albums or artists to play, I just have to let it play through the hundreds of songs on the USB. This morning when I got into the car this song was playing.

Pavlov's Dog- Mersey

The name Mersey is pronounce Merzey so of course I thought of you, Mrrzy.

[If you are wondering how I stumbled on Pavlov's Dog, you can thank one of the many share-house flatmates I have known over the years when I was a student. One of the best benefits of living in share houses was to hear each other's favourite music.]

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 10 Feb 20 - 11:44 AM

Mrrzy, friend, hate to be a noodge,
but we've left you alone all weekend
and SOME of us need to know
that you are here this week!

Please check in here!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 12:01 AM

Hi y'all, I was 5 days in the actual hospital on the psych ward with no phone or internet at all at all, but I'm home again and much, much better.

I have hired a night babysitter/home health caregiver for the first few nights who should be here any minute, as I was never alone and am worried about that - days I can go to a free outpatient thing.

I was touched and pleased all cherished-feeling to see this thread still so high on the list!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Charmion
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 11:29 AM

Glad to see you back on the board, Mrrzy, and sounding a bit sunnier.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 05:48 PM

Your choices and decisions sound like healthy ones.
Stay healthy and stay in touch.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 05:52 PM

Per ardua ad astra. Through struggle or adversity to the stars.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Senoufou
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 06:44 PM

Mrrzy, this thread is 'high on the list' and so are you! I'm very pleased you're getting along and doing the best you can to rise up.
Everyone is keeping you in their thoughts I'm sure.
Meilleurs voeux et vite récuperation! Dew yew keep a-troshing!
Eliza x

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Feb 20 - 10:39 PM

Wow it is good to be back, enfin.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 Feb 20 - 12:15 PM

... and mind the external weather, as well --
I hear there's another winter storm on the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 13 Feb 20 - 07:01 PM

Glad to hear you are doing better, Mrrzy!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 13 Feb 20 - 07:21 PM

Mrrzy, I've been off Mudcat for several days--just too busy and tired. Now that I'm here, I'm glad to see you have been improving and am sending you my belated welcome home.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Feb 20 - 09:01 AM

Thanks, sweetie.

Yeah, nothing like feeling well (enfin) to realize how ill one's been. I feel just fine, but unlike Uhuru, who was busy, I am monitoring.

I haven't felt this well in *years* - especially without meds.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Senoufou
Date: 14 Feb 20 - 12:29 PM

Oh Mrrzy, what excellent news! I'm so pleased that you're feeling much better. I expect everyone on here is giving un grand ouff de soulagement!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 14 Feb 20 - 02:03 PM

Your news is the best possible outcome. Thanks for telling us!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 15 Feb 20 - 10:22 PM

Refreshing for those who might have missed
the latest very reassuring updates, previous.

Now, because Mrrzy has been so candid in their posts
about looking into different lengths of care:

here is more encouragement, should it be needed,
to consider long-term treatment -- it IS out there --
once one is discharged, "safe," and out of the danger zone,
and feeling better.

Because, I have looked around, and in fact it is true:
there are treatment facilities that
admit patients who have sought the short-term suicide-prevention treatment elsewhere,
and have been stabilized already.
By this I mean, institutions that prefer
NOT to do the acute secure-ward treatment,
but to do the long-term follow-through work
in order to ensure that one does not repeat the
'danger zone' experience.

It's Mrrzy's and their caregivers' call, of course.
But, for heaven's sake,
if more attention is called for and needed:
don't stop here,
go on out there and get what you need.
We'll be behind you all the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Feb 20 - 08:23 AM

Charlottesville has a free outpatient peer therapy thing, which I go to sometimes, especially the writing and music groups.

I have stopped the night nurse as when I am sleepless I am ok in my head in my bed. While I am sleepless a lot, it's ok as it is so nice to be ok in my head in my bed.

And I am re-decluttering. I had thought I was only still hoard-y in my bedroom but the house was ok... Um... Had thought, yeah. I am down to a huge pile of papers a friend will help me with, and one still-unpacked suitcase from my trip to France which I will likely get to today.
And a few other miscellaneous piles of things.
And a give-to-Goodwill mountain to go into the car which got crashed into, again, last week.
And small hills of mending and dry-cleaning.

No injuries in the car crash but that door is now sensed as open though it won't. Someone changed lanes in the intersection into which I was right-turning after stop as nobody was (at that time) in the rightmost lane, but I got charged with failure to yield, which charge I will contest. There had been nobody to yield to.
In the monitoring department I was totally unfazed at the time. It ought to have scared me, somehow.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Feb 20 - 08:45 AM

... that's the passenger door, right?
Not the driver's door, where you were.
Expletive deleted. Life happens.

So relieved to hear that you are feeling better in solitude.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Jack Campin
Date: 17 Feb 20 - 11:26 AM

Looking at the ingredients in Night Nurse,it seems messing with your head is exactly what it's designed to do.

Paracetamol (US: acetaminophen) - painkiller with serious acute toxicity hazard in overdose
Promethazine - sedative antihistamine/antipsychotic
Dextromethorphan - NMDA receptor blocker - similar but milder action to ketamine

In the UK you need to talk to the pharmacist in person before you can buy it.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 17 Feb 20 - 11:32 AM

Last times I was in hospital, the night nurses kept waking us up..

Not the most persuasive name for a product supposed to facilitate a good night's kip...???

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Feb 20 - 08:17 AM

Haha! No, I had a human being with nursing training come in at night! The idea was that if I wasn't ok in my head in my bed there would be a trained person there to help. Nwver heard of that drug. Paracetamol now gives me the same awful stomachache as codeine. Dommage... I used to like codeine.

Piles for goodwill are in my car, and mending and drycleaning are at their respective services.

Yes backseat door, again evidence that I was already in the lane when the other driver joined me there.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 18 Feb 20 - 08:53 AM

Piles never gave me goodwill...

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 18 Feb 20 - 02:17 PM

Mrrzy, when you said about the night nurse I thought you meant a human being and I was happy that you had someone there to keep you safe, and then I got confused when Jack Campin posted about the drug concoction. Thanks for clarifying that.

Well done with the clearing out. I'm good at procrastinating on that and my house really needs it. I'll get started soon. I think. Maybe. LOL

Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Feb 20 - 04:19 PM

Night Nurse can be bought online, or over the counter, without any need to consult a member of staff.

https://www.netdoctor.co.uk/medicines/aches-pains/a8161/night-nurse/

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Feb 20 - 08:08 AM

Punkfolkrocker, yeah, I was wondering who would notice that!

The joke was, what is a drink made of vodka and Milk of Magnesia? The desired answer was a Phillips screwdriver. I guessed, a pile driver.

Don't know if the Brits have Phillips' Milk of Magnesia anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Feb 20 - 10:57 AM

In reading this thread I could hardly wait to say: Somewhere I read that 'anger is grief turned inward.' For some reason that is a comforting, life-affirming thing to me.
Mrrzy, I wish you the best; I have every confidence you will come out on the other side. Who once said that the 'unexamined life isn't worth living'? Going through what you have has forced you, at the very least, to examine your inner workings as thoroughly as the outer. You are way ahead of a lot of us.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Feb 20 - 08:26 AM

Yeeeeeears of therapy. Strongly recommended to all. Thanks, Ebbie.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Feb 20 - 10:23 AM

Almost all of Woody Allen's movie themes emerged from topics discussed in his psychotherapy sessons which he has done for yeeeears.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Feb 20 - 02:30 PM

Will you need to replace your car?

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Feb 20 - 11:58 AM

I was planning on getting another car at any rate [well, not financing]... I had been carshopping in the fall but realized I was way too depressed to make decisions involving that kind of money. I plan on restarting the search soon. It'll be the first time I buy a car while the car I have is still running! Who needs that back door to open anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 24 Feb 20 - 01:49 PM

Hi Mrrzy,

Is your car still a Toyota Corolla? My current Corolla is 15 years old and still going strong. I have had two Corollas and one Camry in my 40-something years of driving life. They have all been fantastic. My dear departed Dad was a motor mechanic and he always had Toyotas, from when he started working on them in about the '70's.

If your car is a good one, would it be worth getting the door fixed?

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Feb 20 - 02:20 PM

Looking for another car might give you a bit of a lift Mrrzy, a sort of project. But as Helen says, fixing the door may be fairly easily done, and would be cheaper than buying another car.
We have a dear little Ford Fiesta called 'Misty', which has 70,000 miles on the clock. But it's cheap to run, Tax and insure. The only problem is that the men at the carwash use high-pressure hoses, which has taken off large chunks of the paint on the front bumper. It won't rust (made of plastic) but Misty looks as if he has leprosy!
What's your dream car Mrrzy? Husband says he'd like 1) a Range Rover Evoque and 2) a Mini Countryman, both in taupe. I'd like that too. We merely need to win the Lottery!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Feb 20 - 04:16 PM

If you go to a dealership to fix the door they will tell you there is one replacement part found in Hawaii but is on vacation and won't be available unless you place a rush order.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Feb 20 - 05:08 PM

I am not fixing it. It is already totaled. And no, I killed my Corolla, which should have been impossible. This was/is my rebound car I only got to tide me over till I found the car I wanted, but by now (got it in 2012, it is a 2006) I love love love my Ford Fusion.

I want a stickshift with a rear windshield wiper. I want it to be purple but that ain't happening. 4 doors. Not too small, not too large...

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 24 Feb 20 - 05:33 PM

Purple! Yes!

Hubby & I went to a car sales place a few years ago to pick up his car after a service. As we were heading for the front door I was mesmerised by a purple Ford V8 on display. Like a moth to a flame.

Hubby just about had to drag me away from it, saying, "You don't need a V8!"

Yes, but it's purple! It was a sort of iridescent type of paint. Very difficult to resist. But no, I don't need a V8.

I have thought about getting my current car spray painted purple but it's 15 years old now so, not worth it. If I get another car it will probably be my last car ever, so I'm going to do my darndest to make sure it's purple.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Feb 20 - 07:12 PM

feel like paraphrasing:

"when I am old,
I shall drive a purple car ... "

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 24 Feb 20 - 07:56 PM

Absolutely, keberoxu!

That poem has been my life goal for many years and now I AM old I can start putting it into practice.

I especially like the title:

Warning, by Jenny Joseph

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I’m tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people’s gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practise a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 Feb 20 - 07:36 AM

Love it

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 Feb 20 - 01:40 PM

Hmm had a longer post... Meant to say I musta been old a long time ago!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 25 Feb 20 - 01:46 PM

Yeah! Me too, Mrrzy!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Feb 20 - 05:04 PM

Earning money in grim reaper times like these might help. Without taking advantage of anyone there are ways. People will be home surfing the net.
One is already late to the futures market.
You remember the chinese proverb about times of misfortune have opportunities.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Feb 20 - 02:26 PM

Hope your spirits are on the up side.
Here it is what the Scottish call "dreich" --
grey and drizzling rain. Dampening in more ways than one.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Feb 20 - 09:08 AM

That word so looks like it would sound like what it is!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Charmion
Date: 27 Feb 20 - 09:47 AM

In Stratford, it's snowing and the wind is blowing the snow all over the damn' place. I don't like being out in it, but I rather enjoy looking at it from indoors, especially if I can be holding a nice, hot cup of tea, or perhaps the cat, while I do it.

It's not really schadenfreude; I like to think I'm being properly grateful for my good fortune! And I feel genuine sympathy for my poor neighbour, who's walking his dog past the window as I type.

Happy Thursday, Mrrzy. One of the particularly good things about Thursday is that the New York Times crossword puzzle is always pleasantly challenging but not willfully knotty on Thursdays.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 28 Feb 20 - 10:03 AM

My one happy morning in Dec was the day it snowed.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 28 Feb 20 - 11:22 AM

Well, December is past,
and it will be March very soon.
Hoping March is not too tempestuous for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 28 Feb 20 - 05:51 PM

Regarding purple, I forgot to tell you that when I left work last year to retire I had my hair dyed purple. Unfortunately it's not that in-your-face bright fluoro purple but I like it. I especially like the looks of disdain that some people throw me. It makes me laugh.

As Popeye used to say, "I am what I am and that's all that I am!"

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Feb 20 - 09:39 AM

I keep thinking of dyeing my hair purple... My eldest sister has a streak that goes purple or pink or blue as the fancy strikes her. I think I should wait till I find a job, though.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Feb 20 - 02:17 PM

Are you casting a wide geographical net
in your job search,
or keeping it very local?

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 29 Feb 20 - 02:23 PM

I had purple hair for a short while a long time ago..

.. a risk of partying and getting very drunk with punk rock bands...

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 29 Feb 20 - 02:27 PM

but at least I survived that youth lifestyle without getting piercings or tattoos...