BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Thompson
Date: 31 Mar 20 - 09:53 AM

Moonlight Always Makes Me Think of You is that tune, I think.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Senoufou
Date: 31 Mar 20 - 04:19 AM

'Passengers will please refrain..' is set to Dvorak's 'Humouresque'.

But what is the tune that Paddy Roberts uses for the first song 'Please don't use the WC when the train is standing in the station'? It's familiar, but I just can't name it. (A common problem with me nowadays!)

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Senoufou
Date: 31 Mar 20 - 03:49 AM

Haha yes Bill, that song too is on the same clip.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Mar 20 - 10:43 PM

The version I know:
Passengers Will Please Refrain

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Senoufou
Date: 30 Mar 20 - 06:48 PM

I've just remembered Paddy Roberts singing 'Don't Use the WC When The Train Is Standing In The Station' (It's on Youtube) That sign was on trains when I was small. I think 'WC' was relatively posh!

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Mar 20 - 06:26 PM

more detective work on euphemism

(at our local folk festival site years ago, there was a sign on the relevant building saying: "COMFORT STATION" which seems about as close to the early French term as any.
The crew was preparing the site one day and decided to break for lunch. Mary LaMarca..our late Mudcatter lamarca... said "I'll join you all in a bit. I have to go to the euphemism."

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Mar 20 - 06:13 PM

Loo? Bog?

etymology of terminology

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Senoufou
Date: 30 Mar 20 - 05:31 PM

When I was young (haha, long time ago) very posh people would only say 'lavatory' not 'toilet'. So one used 'lavatory paper'.
'Toilet paper' was a bit lower middle.
The words 'loo' and 'loo paper' were for the lower classes.
'Bog paper' was for the lowest of the low.
The class system/snobbery in UK was alive and well then.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Donuel
Date: 30 Mar 20 - 04:33 PM

Today's brands of toilet paper are created from wide variety of paper types. They can be made either from fresh leaves (mostly from tree farms and second growth forests, and very little from virgin forests) or recyclable paper, unscented or scented, single layered of multilayered, dry or moistened, with variable degrees of tensile strength and humidity absorption.

Although there are many successful and famous toilet paper brands in the world, here are some of the most notable ones:

Angel Soft
Atomic Blast Hole (heavy duty)
Caprice Green Twilight Paper
Charmin Ultra Soft
Charmin Ultra Strong
Coronet
Cottenelle
Green Forest Unscented Bathroom
Kirkland Signature
Klingon Cleaner
Kleenex
Lotus Tissue
Naturelle Tissue
Northern
Nouvelle Tissue
Quilted Northern Ultra Plush (famous for its high tensile strength)
Scott Extra Soft
Scott Rapid-Dissolving Bathroom Tissue
Seventh Generation
Soft 'N Gentle
Tesco Value Toilet Paper
Traidcraft Tissue
3M 000 Sandpaper
Velvet Tissue
Wet Sponge (flushable)
White Cloud
White Cloud
Windsoft

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 30 Mar 20 - 09:46 AM

https://www.theage.com.au/national/nsw/man-charged-with-stealing-hundreds-of-rolls-of-toilet-paper-from-sydney-supermarkets-20200328-p54er9.html they were caught on CCTV

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 29 Mar 20 - 06:52 PM

"...and nimble were their steps,
As fast as they were able."

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Mar 20 - 06:31 PM

The Toilet Roll Reel

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Mar 20 - 12:50 PM

I see various brands called "Bath tissue"

I have been tempted to write them saying: "I tried your product the other day in my bath, and was quite disappointed when it instantly dissolved into a gooey mess. Am I doing something wrong?"

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Donuel
Date: 29 Mar 20 - 11:01 AM

You're right, people call it toilet paper but corporations do not.

Perhaps we should call it Trump Jr. the great Orange one.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Joe Offer
Date: 29 Mar 20 - 10:54 AM

Through much of my life, I've wondered why we Americans call it "toilet paper" in speech and literature, but you'll rarely see it called that on package labels. I think it's usually "bathroom tissue" on labels, although I haven't made a thorough study - yet. If it's ever availably in stores again, I'll have to apply for a grant to do that study.

And another thing: until recently, "ketchup" was never spelled that way on package labels, It was mure likely to be "catsup," but no living human ever spelled it that way. Were "catsup" and "bathroom tissue" corporate euphemisms? I've always thought so.

And by the way, if you're a household that uses single-ply, don't invite me to stay overnight. And another thing: modern Scotland has the best toilet paper in the world, but I didn't notice that until my third trip to Scotland.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: keberoxu
Date: 29 Mar 20 - 10:18 AM

The Washington Post commentary recommends
as a toilet paper substitute
the Woody Allen memoirs which have been rushed into print
by a different publishing house than
the one that famously retracted its contract with Allen.
The critique used words like
"vindictive" and   "self-indulgent."

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Senoufou
Date: 29 Mar 20 - 09:49 AM

In the paper today: Sign on a plumber's van "No toilet rolls kept in this van overnight" !! hee hee

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 20 - 05:14 AM

One of my mates who was suffering from a fissure was told by the specialist to stop rushing around, take his time and shit like a cow. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Bill D
Date: 28 Mar 20 - 09:30 PM

Of course, humans have such varied diets, diseases and 'body types' after centuries of progress and evolution that there is little that is standard in our excrement OR our ability to adopt a classic stance at the toilet. "Perfectly clean" is a matter of chance & diet.... and most of us have never seen a bidet. I'll stick with what I posted about earlier.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 28 Mar 20 - 08:26 PM

But it's often the after dribble that seeps and causes problems..

So don't trust anyone who claims they have a perfectly clean bumhole...

...errrrmmm.. if that were ever to crop up in conversation...???

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Mar 20 - 08:01 PM

Why are humans the only animals who need something like toilet paper? All other animals take their dumps and move right along hit nice clean bungholes.

It's because, to put it bluntly, we don't shit right. We sit on toilet seats that squeeze our butt-cheeks together when they need to be spread apart to do the job correctly. If, instead of toilets, we simply had holes in the floor to squat over, we'd probably reduce the need for toilet paper by a few billion rolls per year.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 28 Mar 20 - 01:58 PM

Oh well, pfr, if it's films/movies ye're after, "Last T.-P. in Paris" (or anywhere else).

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 28 Mar 20 - 01:36 PM

Invasion of the bog roll snatchers...

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 28 Mar 20 - 01:35 PM

A little known early work by Henry James, "[Toilet Paper] Square".

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 28 Mar 20 - 01:21 PM

Variant: "Confessions of a justified hoarder"?

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Jack Campin
Date: 28 Mar 20 - 12:49 PM

There is a Facebook thread going around to substitute "toilet paper" for one word in the title of a famous book. I suggested Fear and Toilet Paper in Las Vegas, but with Poe's Tales of Mystery and Toilet Paper, many of the stories in it work - The Pit and the Toilet Paper, The Fall of the House of Toilet Paper, The Murders in the Toilet Paper Morgue...

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: JHW
Date: 28 Mar 20 - 10:31 AM

Remember the song - Both Sides Now

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Senoufou
Date: 25 Mar 20 - 05:07 PM

When he first arrived in UK with his Marriage Visa stuck in his passport, my husband had never in his life seen a sit-on toilet (which he calls 'une chaise anglaise') I had to explain and demonstrate how it should be used. He found it very strange to actually sit on the thing, and refused ever to use toilet paper.
His toilet arrangements back home in Adjame and Nafamadougou consist (as they do around most of West Africa) of an unspeakably stinky hole in the ground behind a ramshackle screen and a small pot of water with a spout. The sewage stays in the stinky hole, and there are cockroaches and huge rats to keep one company. One simply squats.
Physiologically it is said this is a better position for evacuating the bowels.
At first he was thrilled to flush our toilet, but I had to stop him doing it just for fun over and over, as we're on a water meter.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 25 Mar 20 - 04:46 PM

When I was a teenager-ish and still being herded to Mass by my parents, on one occasion there had been a national shortage of bog paper. Can't remember why, a strike or something... From the pulpit at St Mary's in Radcliffe, Father Sefton, in his sermon, gave the whole congregation at 11 o'clock Mass a severe and prolonged bollocking for lusting after toilet paper...Wasn't like this in his day...squares of newspaper with holes in one corner hung up over the thunder box on a loop of string... We all looked at each other, completely mystified as to why he was excoriating us for something we hadn't even given a second thought to... That was definitely the weirdest sermon I ever heard, and that includes dozens given by beloved Father Curran who never knew how to finish...

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Jack Campin
Date: 25 Mar 20 - 04:17 PM

The one time I've met with a toilet paper shortage was indirectly, in 1991. I was on a train from Istanbul to Budapest which started out great, with all the facilities you expect on an international train, but as is the way of such trains it split into chunks going in different directions. So the restaurant car went back to Turkey at the Bulgarian border, and more significantly one chunk headed north to Poland. Somehow capitalism hadn't quite figured out how to make money out of toilet paper up there, and there was a nationwide shortage. So the Polish passengers went the whole length of the train and half-inched every single roll. Serbian magazines weren't that great.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 25 Mar 20 - 04:09 PM

I managed 10 days once, on the school trip to France..

On the first day, I opened the camp site toilet cubicle door..
and shocked at seeing the disgusting hole in the ground,
thought..

"I'm not sitting in that...!!!"

So I endured a week and a half of cold baked bean lunches,
until I had no choice but to let it go on the last day..

That's when I noticed the other toilet block,
with proper civilised "English" sit on toilets..

Bastard sadist teachers never told us about them...

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: JHW
Date: 25 Mar 20 - 03:50 PM

I wouldn't try and hold out for 2-3 weeks, I'd use some.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 09:35 PM

Best I've ever found

Most expensive on the market here, but I get by with much less of it, so I 'may' not actually being be spending more. I have no idea what the equivalent on the right pond might be.

   Of course, good luck finding ANY brand. We can hold out for 2-3 weeks because of supplies I bought on sales before the crisis.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: robomatic
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 06:31 PM

Apparently sales of bi-'days' is up on the west side of the pond. I predict that with no real TP shortage Americans will 'stick' with fiber.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 06:17 PM

Mr. Whipple exclaimed "please don't squeeze the Charmin".

We have commercials in which an animated family of bears will not pick up underwear for fear of skid marks when the cub sings 'it is clean' and proudly raises the underwear over his head in victory.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 06:00 PM

Scott 1000 sheet roll.

How many words for toilet paper are there, 100?
In the 50's it was even known as twilight paper.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 05:41 PM

You still call it Charmin? We changed its name to Cushelle (at least I think it's that one...) years ago. I suspected it was because of a dirty joke, which went:

Saw a bloke in the supermarket with a toilet roll on his willy. I thought, that's f***ing Charmin, that is...

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: JHW
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 04:00 PM

Nicky single ply suits me well. Claims 3ply but I thing they mean a rating. Agree with Sandra in Sydney post re loos in stores etc. (pre crisis) Installing wafer thin or till roll wide paper I'd guess ups usage no end as you need four times as much!

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 03:22 PM

Anyway.. just how long has evolution had to work out a better,
more hygienic and convenient, way of cleanly disposing of human body waste...???

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: robomatic
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 03:14 PM

Still haven't found the ideal single ply.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Iains
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 04:25 AM

It was the herd mentality kicking in aided by the gross stupidity of the media giving the oxygen of publicity.
I fully expect controls on the media next to prevent such crass behaviour.

These controls are to slow the spread and reduce the strain on the health services and duration will be governed by reported figures of victims.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Mar 20 - 01:37 AM

We don't really need to worry about shortages of dunny roll until we have to wash and re-use it.

Subject: RE: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 23 Mar 20 - 11:23 PM

I read somewhere that some country did run out of toilet paper a few years ago, but dunno how that became a current crisis in other countries.

We keep being reminded that while the Australian manufacturing industry sector is pitifully small these days, we do manufacture our own toilet paper, but folks do still buy & buy & buy ...

A nearby council saved a lot of money a few years by buying zillions of rolls of a new cheaper brand of loo paper. I call it half ply & it is so delicate it can't go in the toilet roll holders as it only comes out in tiny shreds, not sheets or even lengths! So it is used up much faster & all rolls in the Community Centre women's loos were stolen by someone recently.

Only bright spot is the number of cartoons about loo paper.

Subject: BS: Toilet Paper, Bog Roll, Loo Bobbin
From: robomatic
Date: 23 Mar 20 - 11:06 PM

For the life of me I can't explain why so much of it flew off the shelves. We are only now getting some re-stocked. I developed a theory, probably a lot of (crap), that TP became symbolic of our fears of being left high and (dry) and purchasing some was symbolic of what little control over our circumstances we have left.

But thinking a bit beyond this, I saw a great U.K. docu-fun show about "how it's made" with a fun English group who visited the forests where the wood is chopped, there are two kinds of wood processed for their various fibers, through to the processing and breakdown of the cellulose, to the shipment to the factories which re-wet the intermediate product and go on to the final manufacture and packaging of the stuff.

And marvelous stuff it is. I usually buy one large 24-pack of Kirkland at Costco and I'm done for the year. And even Costco has more than one brand. I go for the house brand, but you can get Charmin there, which I find why the hell too soft and cushiony. There is a single-ply they use at Starbucks that labels itself eco-friendly, and if I could find this in the retail stores I'd get it instead. It's perfect. The other one ply I've been able to find at Walmart is so thin it makes onion skin look like leather.

One great Sci-fi story I read longtime since had an inventor studying why toilet paper sometimes ripped apart between instead of on the perferations, and this led to his design of a force field.

My brother visited the Soviet Union in the 70s and wrote me a letter he informed me was done on Russian toilet paper. It had the smoothness and non-absorbent texture of what we in The States called "math paper". That alone informed me of the inevitable decline and fall of the Communist empire. We had dozens of toilet paper brands and the evil empire had .... you know.

Anyhow, I'd love to hear from wiser minds than mine about the symbolics and shambolics of toilet paper in this era of pandemic.