BS: New news *not* about the virus

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 27 May 20 - 06:30 AM

A doctor arrived at his surgery one morning to find a large bag on the doorstep. He looked inside and found a new born baby with a note saying "Please look after my child". As a medical professional, he knew that it was a responsibility he could not shirk but there would be so many forms to fill in and he had patients waiting. He took it inside and examined it. As the baby seemed in good health, he decided to deal with his morning patients before handing it over for further care.

The first patient was the local vicar, a hypochondriac whom the doctor knew well. He had suffered every disease known to man and, this morning, was complaining of acute stomach pains. The doctor suspected trapped wind but thought that if, this time, he could convince him that it really was something serious, it might shock him out of his hypochondria. The situation gave him the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.

He told the vicar to drop his trousers, lie on the examination table and open his legs. The doctor then pressed on the vicar's belly, causing him to let out a long fart. The doctor picked up the baby and said "Congratulations! You have given birth to a healthy boy".
"B..b..but I can't have done" stammered the vicar, "It's not possible!"
"God moves in mysterious ways" replied the doctor.

The vicar, being a good Christian, accepted his apparent responsibilities a brought the child up as his own. When the boy reached the age of 18, the vicar thought that it was time that he knew the truth. It was a difficult conversation but it had to be done. He said "You have always been my son and always will be. You have grown up calling me Dad but, in fact, I am not ACTUALLY you father.

Looking rather shocked at the news, the young man asked "Then who is my father?"

In an anguished tone, the vicar replied "The bishop!"


DC

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 27 May 20 - 06:34 AM

OOPS! WRONG THREAD.

Could a MudElf please delete the above post, together with this one. I will repost it in the Joke thread.

Sorry,
DC

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 May 20 - 08:36 AM

Nice view of earth and moon, Donuel. Lovely.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 May 20 - 02:51 PM

Also can watch space launch today space.com or nasa.gov

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 29 May 20 - 05:27 PM

About 500 businesses are burned or destroyed along with a police station by a race riot over more murders by police of black people.
I made a complete list but is too much data to post

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 29 May 20 - 05:49 PM

DemonstrTIONS HAVE SPREAD TO aTLANTA sAN jOSE wASHINGTON dc...

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 May 20 - 06:41 PM

Seriously, can't we just grow the fuck *up* already.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 30 May 20 - 07:15 AM

Its very hard to grow up when you are murdered legally by indemic institutional racism before you have a chance to grow up.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 30 May 20 - 05:16 PM

OK mods enough trying to exponge any mention of GEORGE FLOYD

REMOVING legal arguements regarding 1st degree murder is jeuvenile

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 30 May 20 - 10:32 PM

Wrong thread for that conversation. It has its own.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 06:50 PM

Ebola is breaking out again, in the Congo. (Not *that* virus.)

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 03 Jun 20 - 07:13 PM

Australia - Endangered animal breaks into shop & trips alarms

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Jun 20 - 07:34 AM

37 kids stabbed in China...

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Jun 20 - 02:59 PM

The death of the last American to receive Civil War pension!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2020/06/04/she-was-last-american-collect-civil-war-pension-7313-month-she-just-died/

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 04 Jun 20 - 09:48 PM

thanks for posting the story, Mrrzy, some years back I read about much younger second wives of Civil War veterans & thought the story might be about a widow's death.

Back in the 70s I had an older friend who was a 2nd generation Australian. She was born before or during the first world war, a late child of a man whose father arrived in Australia in 1793, 5 years after British settlement.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jun 20 - 11:49 PM

When I was a little kid some older folks could remember that the President when they were kids was Ulysses S. Grant. They said the S stands for secret.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Jun 20 - 08:24 AM

When I was growing up, we had old cousins whose parents had been kids during the Civil War. It was like that Ray Bradbury story about the time machine, hearing them tell their parents' stories.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Jun 20 - 08:41 AM

This today from cnn: looking bad for Trump in electoral college!

https://www.cnn.com/2020/06/04/politics/electoral-map-2020-election-donald-trump-joe-biden/index.html

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Jun 20 - 11:21 AM

And we are tunneling on Mars

https://www.universetoday.com/146361/finally-mars-insights-mole-is-now-underground/

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Jun 20 - 08:11 AM

Aaaand more massacre in Nigeria

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/africa/nigeria-borno-state-attack-coronavirus/2020/06/10/0147e06a-ab1b-11ea-a43b-be9f6494a87d_story.html

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Jun 20 - 02:54 AM

This today from cnn: looking bad for Trump in electoral college!

It is hope, but what people say to pollsters, and how they vote does not always tally. Given Twitler's record, people would be ashamed to admit to liking him. But they also vote for a party, so you have to ask the right question. And even then, polls and votes are different.

The UK had an expression "Shy Tories". And it proved decisive.

Be afraid America, be very afraid.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Jun 20 - 09:23 AM

It get worse: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-sanctions-international-criminal-court-us-war-crimes-investigation-a9561901.html?amp

Sanctioning in the sense of punish, not permit, the ICC so Murrican military can't get done for their war crimes.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Jun 20 - 11:24 AM

The mudcat pandemic thread has fallen off the front page.
This is the ideal time to get infected when your guard is down.
The virus is still content to infect at a 50% contagion rate.
We need to have a discontented virus.

Welcome to the second half of stage one. On a NIH conference call Dr. Fauci was asked why Trump acts as if he is immune. He said he told the president that in a time with no cure, anything is better than nothing except those things that are worse to your health. The prsident asked if their was vaccine he could have now and Fauci told him he could have a Faucine today. What's a Faucine? Thats where I spit on my hand and shake yours.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Jun 20 - 11:37 AM

If ya wanna add to the virus thread do, but don't contaminate this obe while complaining the other isn't here.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Jun 20 - 03:20 PM

Ooh you go SCOTUS! Sexual identity and orientation are, too, covered by the civil rights act, so there!

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Jun 20 - 08:11 PM

And this, from Forbes of all places:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiecartereurope/2020/06/15/there-are-36-intelligent-alien-civilizations-in-our-galaxy-say-scientists/amp/

Blicky

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jun 20 - 07:13 AM

Only 36 civilizations? Do humans count?

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jun 20 - 08:31 AM

The Dropa civilization is one of the more prolific in our area.

They are curious of us too
Note you will not see 'debris' but the distinctive Dropa swarm of crafts.   nasa video of STS 75

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jun 20 - 08:28 AM

Is the UK a nuclear power?
Is Finland part of Russia?
Why don't we use nuclear weapons more?

Things Trump has asked

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Jun 20 - 12:16 PM

Go SCOTUS again! DACA stays!

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Jun 20 - 05:08 PM

Trump did have the right to challenge DACA, a mere presidential order, the Supreme court found his argument for doing so was insufficint when his legal team argued "because Obama did it".

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Jun 20 - 10:10 AM

Women seeking abortions are right about why they wanted one...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jun/20/abortion-denied-debt-bankruptcy-eviction

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 21 Jun 20 - 11:33 AM

Intact six-metre long whale backbone washes ashore, Australia

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 Jun 20 - 09:35 AM

Totally cool, Sandra in Sydney.

And in *other* virus news, the Ebola outbreak is being declared controlled.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 29 Jun 20 - 12:11 PM

And the Supreme Court, in another spasm of adulting, strikes down Louisiana's abortion restrictions.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 30 Jun 20 - 03:33 PM

On the other hand, quoting Slate, John Roberts Just Bulldozed the Wall Separating Church and State.

https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/06/supreme-court-espinoza-montana-religious-schools.html

Blicky.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Jul 20 - 08:29 AM

Yay the awful Atlantic pipeline idea is no more!

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Jul 20 - 08:33 AM

Blicky no paywall

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Jul 20 - 04:45 PM

What do you guys think of SCOTUS saying No faithless electors?

One view on Slate.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Jul 20 - 12:02 PM

And fish eggs, soft tiny things, can survive gizzard stones, stomach acid, and the rest of a goose's digestive system. Goose poop can spead invasive fish species. Cool.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Jul 20 - 06:12 PM

SCOTUS has not helped Trump regarding faithless electors


Geese can change the biome of wetlands via bacteria.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Jul 20 - 04:03 PM

Gary Larson is back! New Far Side cartoons! Yay!

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jul 20 - 06:43 PM

Prez of Ivory Coast resigns, following death of prime minister. Iyé aconde quoi?

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jul 20 - 06:46 PM

Oops Veep. Still!

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Jul 20 - 05:57 AM

tonight over the UK

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Jul 20 - 11:50 AM

Wow, beautiful, thanks Donuel!

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mr Red
Date: 15 Jul 20 - 07:05 AM

China is not out of the woods yet. 6 Quakes, 3 dams at risk, serious flooding, and grain quality scandals. All that without Hong Kong.

The 3 Gorges Dam is not entirely out of risk, it can't hold any more water so floods downstream are serious.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jul 20 - 08:32 AM

The taxidemist was like the secretary of state in ancient Egypt. I did 2 taxidermy cartoons. 1 was a tax attorny taxidermy and the other was the chancellory of Taxidermy. I too discovered digital cartooning but 10 years ago/

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jul 20 - 08:57 AM

my cartoons are too monstrous or controversial to be published but times are achangin. My last cartoon was of 5th avenue looking through a large hole in the back of a black man's head revealing Trump holding a smoking gun. See what I mean.

Subject: RE: BS: New news *not* about the virus
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Jul 20 - 05:17 PM

Has anybody seen the comet?