BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!

Subject: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 01:58 PM

Congratulations to Carrie and Boris. I'm sure this has been a difficult pregnancy both physically and mentally for Carrie. I hope that she and her little boy are well and are enjoying getting to know each other.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 02:25 PM

The best punchline will be if the baby boy
grows up the spitting image of Gove...

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Senoufou
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 02:32 PM

Glad to hear all went well. Wonder what name they'll choose for the little one?

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Murpholly
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 03:04 PM

How about Boris Minor

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: gillymor
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 03:17 PM

I thank you and my johnson thanks you.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 03:53 PM

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn...”

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 04:00 PM

As a matter of accuracy it is not the Johnsons. The mother is Carrie Symonds, they are not married or, to the best of my knowledge, undergone any ceremony to have a joint name.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 04:21 PM

Winston Pfeiffer. Yeah, that rings a bell. Unless that clashes with one of the names of his other four...or five...or six...or how many?...kids? Don't ask him: he'll be the last to know...

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 04:25 PM

On a positive note though Steve, he has at least had the decency to publicly acknowledge this latest addition to his flock of illegitimate offspring.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 04:49 PM

Yeahh.. but pity that poor boy..

Now everyone's gonna know who his dad is...!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: The Sandman
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 05:32 PM

a suitable name for him would be Bonzo ,named after his most ardent fan, orhow about bollocks junior

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: gillymor
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 05:39 PM

In a country full of bastards what's one more? Just kiddin',boys and I hope that kid has a wonderful life.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 06:39 PM

.. he probably won't ever be needing free school meals and food banks...

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Mr Red
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 06:43 PM

Well we know who will be doing the fetching and carrying.

the fetching Carrie.

As much as it is an important event for her, I am too cynical to see it other than a cynical move on her part to secure her position, and on his part to garner some PR that comes with such Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh moments.

Their joy is private.
Ours is wrapped up in politics. And joy is not the appropriate word!

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 07:11 PM

As annoying as Johnson is, you don't really use the term "illegitimate" regarding live births, do you? It hasn't been on birth certificates in the US for probably 50 years or more.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 07:17 PM

Post "Game Or Thrones" - "Bastard" is back in vogue...

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 07:21 PM

Agreed, SRS. I must say, such references jar with me...

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: robomatic
Date: 29 Apr 20 - 11:46 PM

"You know nothing Snow Johnson!"

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 02:13 AM

My use of the word ‘illegitimate’ was deliberate, Maggie, in order to draw attention to Johnson’s adulterous, philandering, deceitful personality. It says considerably more about the father than it does the child, who is completely innocent of course.

Otherwise, no - I don’t recall a child born out of wedlock being referred to as ‘illegitimate’ for many years, certainly not by me.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 02:23 AM

Steve, I find references to ‘Picaninnies’, ‘Letterboxes’, ‘Water-melon smiles’ et al far more ‘jarring’ than the use of a term accurately describing the legal status of a child born out of wedlock.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 02:28 AM

He'll most likely be getting plenty of shit on his hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 02:42 AM

I doubt it.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: The Sandman
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 02:55 AM

carrie will be changing the nappies he will be doing anti social distancing and using his hands for philandering

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 03:32 AM

Congratulations to Johnson for the potentially needless loss of life through the way he ****ed up the covid-19 response. Anything else at this time is irrelavant.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:21 AM

"Congratulations to the Johnsons!!"
I was never a great fan of their singing but they gid magnificent work in publicising the contribution of Traveller John Reilly
THere's a plaque in his memory outside their Bar in Boyle
HERE
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:21 AM

"Congratulations to the Johnsons!!"
I was never a great fan of their singing but they gid magnificent work in publicising the contribution of Traveller John Reilly
THere's a plaque in his memory outside their Bar in Boyle
HERE
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:29 AM

My first thought was now there are TWO bastards in no 10. I bet Carrie is wondering who will be her replacement now she'll be busy with the baby. As he's not known for his parenting skills, or even being able to count/name his offspring we don't expect him to be taking parental leave unless he needs to dodge another crisis.
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:32 AM

Sorry Baccie
I go along with those who shy away from the term "illegitimate" - it's a small step away from "bastard" - both were in regular and respectable use until fairly recently
There is no such thing as an illegitimate child - a bastard Prime Minister, certainly
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Mr Red
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:34 AM

The most important thing for the child is that it is loved. Then it should be talked to, that is the way they learn, not ignored or talked at because the father is too busy with important things.
Then. Speaking as an orphan (you only need one lost parent to qualify) having both a father and a mother gives a very good grounding in life. But distant fathers probably have the same effect as a dead father.

All-in-all Johnson jr will doubtless not lack for creature comforts. I can only hope it will not loose out in the nurture dept. It will grow up in the shadow of Bonzo. And that is a mighty hillock to surmount.

Let us congratulate Bonzo in 21 years time, when we see how his fathering skills measure up!

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:43 AM

Those other expressions jar with me too, John, as I've said here many times.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:47 AM

I fell in love with a girl who sang;

"I wish I wasn't born an illegitimate child
I'd rather be a fascinating whore"

And reader - I married her
Funny how you remember things when you get old
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Iains
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:52 AM

Last year 48.11 % of UK births were out of wedlock.
Both the terms illegitimate and bastard have been losing favour rapidly since the 60's. The stigma no longer even applies to inheritance legislation.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 05:00 AM

"Congratulations to Johnson for the potentially needless loss of life through the way he ****ed up the covid-19 response. Anything else at this time is irrelavant."

Typical irrelevantt lefty drivel. Back to your kennel boy!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 06:03 AM

I'm happy for them as I am for anybody on the birth of a healthy child. However, I disapprove of anybody fathering as many children as Boris has, the world can't cope with the people it has now.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 07:09 AM

Catholic I suppose!

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 07:22 AM

"Catholic I suppose!"
The Church's view id that with children, women pop till they drop - a bit like boris really - both have reputations for having no respect for women
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: The Sandman
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 07:55 AM

bonzo 3 legs deserves to live in croydon

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 08:17 AM

So comparing the massive loss of life in the UK compared with, say, Czech Republic where on average 3-4 lives are lost per day (compared with 500-800 here) because they took early decisive action is leftist drivel????   Do you have the guts to say that face to face with someone who has lost a loved one?? How about a bit less brown nosing, and individually congratulate the fathers of the other 2,000 odd babies that were born on the same day. Or are they unworthy of your attention?

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 08:17 AM

"deserves to live in croydon"
After shredding The Citizenship Papers of legitimate residents, Croydon deserved Bozo - maybe we can give them another to keep him company - no prizes for who
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: gillymor
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 08:49 AM

Well said, SPB.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 09:07 AM

"bonzo 3 legs deserves to live in Croydon"

I don't live "in" Croydon - perish the thought, I live in the postal district of South Croydon, 5 minutes walk from open fields and woods, well away from the Croydon sludge thank you very much!!

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 02:51 PM

ohhh crumbs... i got a bit angry there, didn't I!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 03:05 PM

"I don't live "in" "
Never mind Bozo - you'll die and go to hell one day and you'll never know the difference
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 03:16 PM

In the olden days, toff rakes like Boris would be spreading syphilis all over the world..

Would any woman trust him, if he promised to use use a Johnnie...???

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: The Sandman
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 03:16 PM

bonzo you live in the south croydon,which explains why you are the way you are, the charisma of croydon appears to have covered your charcter

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Raggytash
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:14 PM

I've been thinking about this thread and wondering.

In November we shall become grandparents for the first time. We of course as you would surmise are delighted.

However it probably means absolutely nothing to you good people.

Is anyone going to bother posting a thread about the birth of our grandchild, a child they will be all probability never meet and in all likelihood never know.

If this is the case, as I strongly suspect it is, why on earth did anyone start this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: The Sandman
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:32 PM

because bonzo knew it would be a divisive topic
I don't live "in" Croydon - perish the thought, I live in the postal district of South Croydon, quote bonzo3legs
the above reminds me of mr pooter in diary of a nobody

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:43 PM

"Never mind Bozo - you'll die and go to hell one day and you'll never know the difference"

How nice it is to be such a pleasant fucking cunt carroll.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 04:57 PM

Uncalled for, Bonz.

Subject: RE: BS: Congratulations to the Johnsons!!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 30 Apr 20 - 07:09 PM

"How nice it is to be such a pleasant fucking cunt"

It's quite amusing imagining that spoken in a Croydon accent...

Is it an extract from a South London dialect language course...???