BS: In Praise of the Turnip

Subject: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:26 AM

Having just watched the turnip on the news this morning, when the petulant git stormed off again because someone dared to ask him a question that placed him under scrutiny, I thought it is about time (ironically) to give the turnip a bit of praise.

The turnip must be congratulated for his success in achieving the highest number of Covid-19 related deaths in the world. it is a feat where other countries are failing dismally to match. Some countries track record are totally appalling with less than 300 deaths since mid March. These countries need to pull there socks up and get the death rate up proportionally and follow the exemplary record shown by America and take advise from the expertise and leadership show by the turnip.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:27 AM

I feel much better now I have got this out of my system.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Iains
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:52 AM

This thread serves no purpose and should be deleted

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:11 AM

Nope. It's provocative all right, especially for the brain-dead who still think that Trump is a Good Idea, it's sarcastic with a dash of irony but it ain't trolling. There's scope for challenge of the numbers if that's what you want. It's no worse than Steve Bell's depiction over many years of John Major as Superman-manqué with his saggy and spotty underpants worn outside his trousers. As that was in the Guardian, it'll doubtless raise hackles in one quarter. My only cavil is that I happen to rather like turnips, which I regard as an essential ingredient in my roughly-mashed carrot and swede, great with a winter Sunday roast.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:23 AM

The U.S. has 5% of the world's population and 25% of it's COVID 19 deaths and yet we have "Prevailed" and "every one who wants a test can get one", the same lie he's been telling for months and reiterated yesterday even after the Deputy HHS Director corrected him minutes before. Mission Accomplished indeed. I suppose his handlers are going to try pull the plug on these briefings again before he does himself more damage. My gawd, we need a real leader now more than ever and look what we've got, a flim flam man.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Rain Dog
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:29 AM

There was an interesting article on the BBC yesterday

Coronavirus: Why are international comparisons difficult?

Worth a read.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:30 AM

If this thread is no use to you, thwen just don't engage with it. Simple enough.

The original post came about after seeing his behaviour at yesterdays press briefing - and the repeated (almost daily) diversionary behavior when he is called to account, and when it does happen, he just throws temper tantrums when things don't go his way. Like it or not we have to tolerate the turnips presence on world-wide platforms, and with apologies to my many American friends, as a country to should be ashamed for electing that petulant little proverbial. And his behaviour towards the reporter was inexcusable.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: peteglasgow
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:38 AM

the current depiction of donald trump in the guardian - steve bell - is consistently as a shit-head. clearly there is nothing malign or dangerous in a turnip - maybe we need a better term for trump. i watched that clip of his latest conference - i found it quite chilling really. it's been very scary for sometime in the states - but that was something else. we now have 2 clueless, unstable leaders in england the usa in the midst of a health crisis. we could say they don't know what they are doing but even more scary is they are still getting plenty of support from people who can't let go of the idea that they are to be believed and trusted. maybe the only sane response is to just turn away - use your common sense and fight this nonsense in whatever way you can - and try to move to more sensible countries. yep, it's probably another useless thread - but we can choose to turnip for it or not

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:39 AM

At BEST Turnip is fatally optimistic
At Worst Turbnp is deliberatly deadly

In praise of Turnip he is willing to show up.
In criticism of Turnip he always runs away.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:48 AM

It's actually quite a mild depiction. I remember, many decades ago, a rather graphic depiction of Spiro Agnew. I'll never find that cartoon now, and you probably wouldn't want to see it. Suffice to say that if you let your imagination run riot in the most horrid way you can muster, with the Blazing Saddles "Blow it out yo' ass, Howard" quote in mind, you'll get close...

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 07:13 AM

A Pandemic is 10,000 times as deadly as a hurricane.
Turnip did urge people to board up during the eye of the storm.
Now he wants people to open up during the second half of the storm.

Too late schmart
Too soon stupid

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 07:24 AM

This is how the jackass is spending his time during this worldwide pandemic, he teased this up again yesterday at whatever that thing was in the Rose Garden -
Obamagate -The Guardian

In fairness he has other irons in the fire today, he's tweeting about Bill Maher 's ratings.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 May 20 - 07:46 AM

Should this not be in the US politics thread of is it only the UK that is limited to one politics thread only?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 07:51 AM

General Flynn was fired from the DIA and pleaded guilty for lying about colluding with Russia to the FBI. This happened back in 2014 under Obama.

Trump is calling this Obamagate and says it is a crime.

Trump may try to ressurect a disgraced traitor of the USA into a hero but I don't think people will buy it.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:08 AM

Old Apartheid rules that the DNA and species differences between UK and US threads may be a bit antiquainted in 2020.

The new rules are an old attempt to limit vindictive behavior and trollish tendancies.

In prAISE OF tURNUPs, they grow with their head in the dirt.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:10 AM

gillymor, I think your name for him is appropriate - Twitler. Says it all, in my opinion.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:17 AM

Damn, missed another copyright opportunity. In truth,though, I didn't come up with it, I think I first saw it here. I use it because the mention of that crudheel's name gives a bad after taste.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:23 AM

The Orange Blob is another good one,
a gelatinous, sci-fi monster from the 50's.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Bill D
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:53 AM

The turnip has a lot of stress right now. Besides the overwhelming criticism of his handling of the virus situation and being behind in the polls... and getting further behind... there is today a Supreme Court hearing about whether subpoenas regarding his finances are valid.

Deutche Bank seems to be ready to hand over reams of information about his loans, taxes and debts. He had about 4-5 lawsuits trying to assert total privilege to hide it all, and he lost ALL of them in lower courts. He is frantic to keep his financials secret and can't even handle tough questions from reporters like the 'Obamagate' thing mentioned above.

All we need is 2 more justices to decide that 'enough is enough' and we'll have turnip meltdown............

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: peteglasgow
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:17 AM

both him and johnson are clearly showing an inability to cope with the job just now. in england johnson got the job he always wanted and it has been a nightmare for him. he is clearly physically suffering and struggling to put a coherent sentence together - never mind a coherent plan. we used to feel 'at least he's not as bad as trump' but he's running him close these days

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:20 AM

Mashed turnip, mmmm!
(actually that sounds disgusting)

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:21 AM

The agreed upon name among government workers is Cheeto.

It's a jungle out there
People sowin confusion everywhere
No one one seems to care, well I do... HEY
who's in charge here?

It's a jungle out there
Poison in the very air we breathe
You know whats in the water that you drink
Well I do, its ..so.. crazy
People think I'm crazy that I worry all the time
If you paid attention you'd be worried too
You better pay attention or this world we love so much

Might.. Just.. Kill You

I could be wrong now......But I don't think so

Cuz there's a jungle out there
It's a jungle out there


Randy Newman

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:39 AM

You boil up some cut-up carrots and swede for 12 minutes, add cut-up turnip for another five, season, drain (keeping some of the water) and mash the mixture very roughly. If it's too dry, stir in a bit of the reserved water. It wants to be slightly sloppy but not at all runny. I tell you, it's delicious. And very good for you. Never diss what you haven't tried. You can even freeze it.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:41 AM

Its a jungle out there

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: peteglasgow
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:41 AM

....add black pepper

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:46 AM

I did say season! Only freshly-milled black pepper for me. Actually, I'd say go easy in this recipe.

Maybe it's a northern thing...

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 10:01 AM

That doesn't sound bad, Steve, but I've had straight up mashed turnips before with butter and they're nothing to write home about.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 10:11 AM

I've never found the turnip on its own to be particularly alluring...I'm no Baldrick...

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 11:02 AM

Turnips need lots of other ingredients and enablers.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 May 20 - 11:53 AM

He's 45 but he's no pistol.
He's Forrest Trump, but he ain't no box of chocolates
He's DDT, if you replace the John with detergent
He's Agent Orange, but his head still ain't defoliated
He's an Orange Onanist, with small hands
He's a danger to the whole world
and
He's likely to be re-elected come November.
How sad is that?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 May 20 - 03:35 PM

I still want to know,
if the Turnip is in some respect an employee,
doing as his employers require him to do:

who hired him?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 12 May 20 - 04:44 PM

Yes, gillymor, I'm fairly sure I first saw the name Twitler used by someone else here so your copyright claim would have been disputed.

I like it because it says:
* twit = a foolish annoying person.
* Twitter = a foolish annoying person endlessly annoying a huge number of other people instead of dealing with real life in the real world.
* Hitler = someone who misused his power to make a huge number of people's lives miserable and who also created the situation which ended a huge number of people's lives and the fallout from all of that still hurts people living today.

But I tend to refer to him as Trumpty Dumpty, who sat on a great big wall and then had a great big fall, and all the country's horses and and all the country's men and women, couldn't put Trumpty together again.

That's my wish.

I watched a TV documentary this week called Assholes, based on the book by Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory.

Very relevant. And while they did not mention Trumpty-Dumpty by name, the references were subtle yet clear.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:03 PM

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:56 PM

Also a good one, Helen. Here's hoping he has a great fall (but not a great Autumn).

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 13 May 20 - 04:54 AM

I think his sniping at Obama for the criticism of the handling of the COVID-19 crisis is pretty telling.
From what I have seen, Obama has kept a pretty low profile on WH matters, because as Harold MacMillan once said in similar circumstances he wasn't seeing the dispatches. The privileged data. And for all we mocked Major - he kept his counsel until Brexshit. And how much has Dubya opined since leaving office?

Now fast forward (pu-leeeeeease) to when Twitler has left office. How silent will he be then?

Let us numerate the odds.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 13 May 20 - 05:26 AM

Turnip should be aware, but probably lacks the emotional intelligence to comprehend that if he is opening his mouth after, hopefully, being unceremoniously dumped from office by a landslide, he will come across as a sad nobody who can't come to terms with being a loser. And if/when he loses, it won't be as a result of the electoral college system, but also the popular vote. No doubt he will whine about 10s of millions of Americans fraudulently not voting for him..... that is my prediction!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 13 May 20 - 06:15 AM

President Shitbird's new slogan is "Transition to Greatness" but if we reopen at the pace he's pushing for health experts say it could be a transition to deadness.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 14 May 20 - 04:50 AM

The turnip - the gift that keeps giving. Implying yesterday that as covid is only a risk to older people and people with health problems, then by definition it will be impossible for a young, healthy person to contract the virus and pass it on to a vulnerable person - as long as professors stay at home.

By the turnip's logic: all American presidents have been over 40 therefore everyone over 40 has been an American President. That is indeed great news and maybe I need to call all US nudcatters over 40 on Mr President from now on.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 May 20 - 05:55 AM

The guy's got Asperger's Syndrome, with a large helping of narcissism to go with it.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 14 May 20 - 08:10 AM

Nah, John. You mean Arseburger's syndrome.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 20 - 08:41 AM

A great many individuals with autism are also intellectually disabled.   Those with Asperger's syndrome, in contrast, must by definition have suffered no cognitive delay during their first 3 years of life. 2 This means that they will usually have at least a “normal” IQ. In some cases, their IQ may be very high, even in the genius range. There are, however, different kinds of smarts.
Turnips are as dumb as they sound.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 14 May 20 - 01:49 PM

Arseburger's syndrome

President Shitbird's

Yea that figures.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 15 May 20 - 06:59 AM

Another gem of wisdom from the mind of the "stable genius" yesterday -
"And don’t forget, we have more cases than anybody in the world," he added. "But why? Because we do more testing. When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases."
And of course the people around him in the West Wing are tested frequently and he claims he is tested daily which he seems to think makes him immune to the virus. How could a POTUS be this
stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 May 20 - 04:05 AM

You get the POTUS that big business paid for, and that the Electoral College ignored the facts for.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 16 May 20 - 06:12 AM

A writer friend of mine refers to the turnip as ‘Trumpelthinskin’. Sounds about right to me.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 20 - 07:21 AM

In the ignited states of amnesia people forget that Trump has essentially stolen immigrant children from parents to this day.

This is like Rumplestiltzskin when the woman makes a wish that her dead husband come back to life to see their child. Rumpelstiltskin grants her wish, bringing her husband back for one night, then tries to steal the baby from the mother with an attempt to eat the baby's soul.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 16 May 20 - 10:35 AM

They keep playing his idiotic and hypocritical quote about testing being overrated on the news shows and it occurred to me the in that clip he recently must have dosed off in his tanning booth because he looks like a reversed image of a red racoon.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 20 - 10:37 AM

He has gained 50 lbs.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 20 - 01:58 PM

Will Trump replace Dr. Fauci with Jenny McCarthy?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 16 May 20 - 04:52 PM

While searching for more information on another thread I found this:

Andrew Barton Paterson's poem Johnson's Antidote (Paterson is aka A.B. Paterson or Banjo Paterson.)

(Warning: there are some outdated expressions referring to race in the poem but he wrote his poetry early last century.)