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BS: In Praise of the Turnip

SPB-Cooperator 12 May 20 - 05:26 AM
SPB-Cooperator 12 May 20 - 05:27 AM
Iains 12 May 20 - 05:52 AM
Steve Shaw 12 May 20 - 06:11 AM
gillymor 12 May 20 - 06:23 AM
Rain Dog 12 May 20 - 06:29 AM
SPB-Cooperator 12 May 20 - 06:30 AM
Workingtonman 12 May 20 - 06:38 AM
Donuel 12 May 20 - 06:39 AM
Steve Shaw 12 May 20 - 06:48 AM
Donuel 12 May 20 - 07:13 AM
gillymor 12 May 20 - 07:24 AM
Dave the Gnome 12 May 20 - 07:46 AM
Donuel 12 May 20 - 07:51 AM
Donuel 12 May 20 - 08:08 AM
Helen 12 May 20 - 08:10 AM
gillymor 12 May 20 - 08:17 AM
gillymor 12 May 20 - 08:23 AM
Bill D 12 May 20 - 08:53 AM
Workingtonman 12 May 20 - 09:17 AM
gillymor 12 May 20 - 09:20 AM
Donuel 12 May 20 - 09:21 AM
Steve Shaw 12 May 20 - 09:39 AM
Donuel 12 May 20 - 09:41 AM
Workingtonman 12 May 20 - 09:41 AM
Steve Shaw 12 May 20 - 09:46 AM
gillymor 12 May 20 - 10:01 AM
Steve Shaw 12 May 20 - 10:11 AM
Donuel 12 May 20 - 11:02 AM
John MacKenzie 12 May 20 - 11:53 AM
keberoxu 12 May 20 - 03:35 PM
Helen 12 May 20 - 04:44 PM
John MacKenzie 12 May 20 - 05:03 PM
gillymor 12 May 20 - 05:56 PM
Mr Red 13 May 20 - 04:54 AM
SPB-Cooperator 13 May 20 - 05:26 AM
gillymor 13 May 20 - 06:15 AM
SPB-Cooperator 14 May 20 - 04:50 AM
John MacKenzie 14 May 20 - 05:55 AM
Steve Shaw 14 May 20 - 08:10 AM
Donuel 14 May 20 - 08:41 AM
Mr Red 14 May 20 - 01:49 PM
gillymor 15 May 20 - 06:59 AM
John MacKenzie 16 May 20 - 04:05 AM
Backwoodsman 16 May 20 - 06:12 AM
Donuel 16 May 20 - 07:21 AM
gillymor 16 May 20 - 10:35 AM
Donuel 16 May 20 - 10:37 AM
Donuel 16 May 20 - 01:58 PM
Helen 16 May 20 - 04:52 PM
Helen 17 May 20 - 04:13 PM
Helen 17 May 20 - 08:45 PM
Mr Red 18 May 20 - 04:54 AM
Donuel 18 May 20 - 05:10 PM
Helen 18 May 20 - 07:55 PM
Joe Offer 18 May 20 - 08:12 PM
Donuel 18 May 20 - 08:21 PM
Mr Red 19 May 20 - 06:40 AM
Donuel 19 May 20 - 06:59 AM
Mr Red 20 May 20 - 02:34 AM
An Buachaill Caol Dubh 20 May 20 - 05:25 AM
Donuel 20 May 20 - 06:52 AM
Mossback 20 May 20 - 09:54 AM
SPB-Cooperator 21 May 20 - 06:20 AM
Donuel 21 May 20 - 07:18 AM
Workingtonman 21 May 20 - 12:25 PM
John MacKenzie 21 May 20 - 02:29 PM
Donuel 21 May 20 - 05:48 PM
JHW 23 May 20 - 04:02 PM
Mr Red 23 May 20 - 05:29 PM
Donuel 23 May 20 - 09:41 PM
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Donuel 26 May 20 - 10:19 AM
Donuel 27 May 20 - 06:36 AM
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Thompson 31 May 20 - 06:49 PM
Mr Red 01 Jun 20 - 02:33 AM
gillymor 01 Jun 20 - 09:44 AM
gillymor 01 Jun 20 - 10:12 AM
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gillymor 02 Jun 20 - 06:48 AM
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gillymor 02 Jun 20 - 08:03 AM
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Subject: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:26 AM

Having just watched the turnip on the news this morning, when the petulant git stormed off again because someone dared to ask him a question that placed him under scrutiny, I thought it is about time (ironically) to give the turnip a bit of praise.

The turnip must be congratulated for his success in achieving the highest number of Covid-19 related deaths in the world. it is a feat where other countries are failing dismally to match. Some countries track record are totally appalling with less than 300 deaths since mid March. These countries need to pull there socks up and get the death rate up proportionally and follow the exemplary record shown by America and take advise from the expertise and leadership show by the turnip.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:27 AM

I feel much better now I have got this out of my system.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Iains
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:52 AM

This thread serves no purpose and should be deleted


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:11 AM

Nope. It's provocative all right, especially for the brain-dead who still think that Trump is a Good Idea, it's sarcastic with a dash of irony but it ain't trolling. There's scope for challenge of the numbers if that's what you want. It's no worse than Steve Bell's depiction over many years of John Major as Superman-manqué with his saggy and spotty underpants worn outside his trousers. As that was in the Guardian, it'll doubtless raise hackles in one quarter. My only cavil is that I happen to rather like turnips, which I regard as an essential ingredient in my roughly-mashed carrot and swede, great with a winter Sunday roast.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:23 AM

The U.S. has 5% of the world's population and 25% of it's COVID 19 deaths and yet we have "Prevailed" and "every one who wants a test can get one", the same lie he's been telling for months and reiterated yesterday even after the Deputy HHS Director corrected him minutes before. Mission Accomplished indeed. I suppose his handlers are going to try pull the plug on these briefings again before he does himself more damage. My gawd, we need a real leader now more than ever and look what we've got, a flim flam man.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Rain Dog
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:29 AM

There was an interesting article on the BBC yesterday

Coronavirus: Why are international comparisons difficult?

Worth a read.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:30 AM

If this thread is no use to you, thwen just don't engage with it. Simple enough.

The original post came about after seeing his behaviour at yesterdays press briefing - and the repeated (almost daily) diversionary behavior when he is called to account, and when it does happen, he just throws temper tantrums when things don't go his way. Like it or not we have to tolerate the turnips presence on world-wide platforms, and with apologies to my many American friends, as a country to should be ashamed for electing that petulant little proverbial. And his behaviour towards the reporter was inexcusable.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Workingtonman
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:38 AM

the current depiction of donald trump in the guardian - steve bell - is consistently as a shit-head. clearly there is nothing malign or dangerous in a turnip - maybe we need a better term for trump. i watched that clip of his latest conference - i found it quite chilling really. it's been very scary for sometime in the states - but that was something else. we now have 2 clueless, unstable leaders in england the usa in the midst of a health crisis. we could say they don't know what they are doing but even more scary is they are still getting plenty of support from people who can't let go of the idea that they are to be believed and trusted. maybe the only sane response is to just turn away - use your common sense and fight this nonsense in whatever way you can - and try to move to more sensible countries. yep, it's probably another useless thread - but we can choose to turnip for it or not


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:39 AM

At BEST Turnip is fatally optimistic
At Worst Turbnp is deliberatly deadly

In praise of Turnip he is willing to show up.
In criticism of Turnip he always runs away.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 06:48 AM

It's actually quite a mild depiction. I remember, many decades ago, a rather graphic depiction of Spiro Agnew. I'll never find that cartoon now, and you probably wouldn't want to see it. Suffice to say that if you let your imagination run riot in the most horrid way you can muster, with the Blazing Saddles "Blow it out yo' ass, Howard" quote in mind, you'll get close...


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 07:13 AM

A Pandemic is 10,000 times as deadly as a hurricane.
Turnip did urge people to board up during the eye of the storm.
Now he wants people to open up during the second half of the storm.

Too late schmart
Too soon stupid


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 07:24 AM

This is how the jackass is spending his time during this worldwide pandemic, he teased this up again yesterday at whatever that thing was in the Rose Garden -
Obamagate -The Guardian

In fairness he has other irons in the fire today, he's tweeting about Bill Maher 's ratings.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 May 20 - 07:46 AM

Should this not be in the US politics thread of is it only the UK that is limited to one politics thread only?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 07:51 AM

General Flynn was fired from the DIA and pleaded guilty for lying about colluding with Russia to the FBI. This happened back in 2014 under Obama.

Trump is calling this Obamagate and says it is a crime.

Trump may try to ressurect a disgraced traitor of the USA into a hero but I don't think people will buy it.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:08 AM

Old Apartheid rules that the DNA and species differences between UK and US threads may be a bit antiquainted in 2020.

The new rules are an old attempt to limit vindictive behavior and trollish tendancies.

In prAISE OF tURNUPs, they grow with their head in the dirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:10 AM

gillymor, I think your name for him is appropriate - Twitler. Says it all, in my opinion.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:17 AM

Damn, missed another copyright opportunity. In truth,though, I didn't come up with it, I think I first saw it here. I use it because the mention of that crudheel's name gives a bad after taste.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:23 AM

The Orange Blob is another good one,
a gelatinous, sci-fi monster from the 50's.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Bill D
Date: 12 May 20 - 08:53 AM

The turnip has a lot of stress right now. Besides the overwhelming criticism of his handling of the virus situation and being behind in the polls... and getting further behind... there is today a Supreme Court hearing about whether subpoenas regarding his finances are valid.

Deutche Bank seems to be ready to hand over reams of information about his loans, taxes and debts. He had about 4-5 lawsuits trying to assert total privilege to hide it all, and he lost ALL of them in lower courts. He is frantic to keep his financials secret and can't even handle tough questions from reporters like the 'Obamagate' thing mentioned above.

All we need is 2 more justices to decide that 'enough is enough' and we'll have turnip meltdown............


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Workingtonman
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:17 AM

both him and johnson are clearly showing an inability to cope with the job just now. in england johnson got the job he always wanted and it has been a nightmare for him. he is clearly physically suffering and struggling to put a coherent sentence together - never mind a coherent plan. we used to feel 'at least he's not as bad as trump' but he's running him close these days


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:20 AM

Mashed turnip, mmmm!
(actually that sounds disgusting)


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:21 AM

The agreed upon name among government workers is Cheeto.

It's a jungle out there
People sowin confusion everywhere
No one one seems to care, well I do... HEY
who's in charge here?

It's a jungle out there
Poison in the very air we breathe
You know whats in the water that you drink
Well I do, its ..so.. crazy
People think I'm crazy that I worry all the time
If you paid attention you'd be worried too
You better pay attention or this world we love so much

Might.. Just.. Kill You

I could be wrong now......But I don't think so

Cuz there's a jungle out there
It's a jungle out there


Randy Newman


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:39 AM

You boil up some cut-up carrots and swede for 12 minutes, add cut-up turnip for another five, season, drain (keeping some of the water) and mash the mixture very roughly. If it's too dry, stir in a bit of the reserved water. It wants to be slightly sloppy but not at all runny. I tell you, it's delicious. And very good for you. Never diss what you haven't tried. You can even freeze it.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:41 AM

Its a jungle out there


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Workingtonman
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:41 AM

....add black pepper


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 09:46 AM

I did say season! Only freshly-milled black pepper for me. Actually, I'd say go easy in this recipe.

Maybe it's a northern thing...


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 10:01 AM

That doesn't sound bad, Steve, but I've had straight up mashed turnips before with butter and they're nothing to write home about.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 May 20 - 10:11 AM

I've never found the turnip on its own to be particularly alluring...I'm no Baldrick...


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 12 May 20 - 11:02 AM

Turnips need lots of other ingredients and enablers.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 May 20 - 11:53 AM

He's 45 but he's no pistol.
He's Forrest Trump, but he ain't no box of chocolates
He's DDT, if you replace the John with detergent
He's Agent Orange, but his head still ain't defoliated
He's an Orange Onanist, with small hands
He's a danger to the whole world
and
He's likely to be re-elected come November.
How sad is that?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: keberoxu
Date: 12 May 20 - 03:35 PM

I still want to know,
if the Turnip is in some respect an employee,
doing as his employers require him to do:

who hired him?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 12 May 20 - 04:44 PM

Yes, gillymor, I'm fairly sure I first saw the name Twitler used by someone else here so your copyright claim would have been disputed.

I like it because it says:
* twit = a foolish annoying person.
* Twitter = a foolish annoying person endlessly annoying a huge number of other people instead of dealing with real life in the real world.
* Hitler = someone who misused his power to make a huge number of people's lives miserable and who also created the situation which ended a huge number of people's lives and the fallout from all of that still hurts people living today.

But I tend to refer to him as Trumpty Dumpty, who sat on a great big wall and then had a great big fall, and all the country's horses and and all the country's men and women, couldn't put Trumpty together again.

That's my wish.

I watched a TV documentary this week called Assholes, based on the book by Aaron James, Assholes: A Theory.

Very relevant. And while they did not mention Trumpty-Dumpty by name, the references were subtle yet clear.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:03 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 12 May 20 - 05:56 PM

Also a good one, Helen. Here's hoping he has a great fall (but not a great Autumn).


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 13 May 20 - 04:54 AM

I think his sniping at Obama for the criticism of the handling of the COVID-19 crisis is pretty telling.
From what I have seen, Obama has kept a pretty low profile on WH matters, because as Harold MacMillan once said in similar circumstances he wasn't seeing the dispatches. The privileged data. And for all we mocked Major - he kept his counsel until Brexshit. And how much has Dubya opined since leaving office?

Now fast forward (pu-leeeeeease) to when Twitler has left office. How silent will he be then?

Let us numerate the odds.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 13 May 20 - 05:26 AM

Turnip should be aware, but probably lacks the emotional intelligence to comprehend that if he is opening his mouth after, hopefully, being unceremoniously dumped from office by a landslide, he will come across as a sad nobody who can't come to terms with being a loser. And if/when he loses, it won't be as a result of the electoral college system, but also the popular vote. No doubt he will whine about 10s of millions of Americans fraudulently not voting for him..... that is my prediction!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 13 May 20 - 06:15 AM

President Shitbird's new slogan is "Transition to Greatness" but if we reopen at the pace he's pushing for health experts say it could be a transition to deadness.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 14 May 20 - 04:50 AM

The turnip - the gift that keeps giving. Implying yesterday that as covid is only a risk to older people and people with health problems, then by definition it will be impossible for a young, healthy person to contract the virus and pass it on to a vulnerable person - as long as professors stay at home.

By the turnip's logic: all American presidents have been over 40 therefore everyone over 40 has been an American President. That is indeed great news and maybe I need to call all US nudcatters over 40 on Mr President from now on.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 May 20 - 05:55 AM

The guy's got Asperger's Syndrome, with a large helping of narcissism to go with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 14 May 20 - 08:10 AM

Nah, John. You mean Arseburger's syndrome.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 20 - 08:41 AM

A great many individuals with autism are also intellectually disabled.   Those with Asperger's syndrome, in contrast, must by definition have suffered no cognitive delay during their first 3 years of life. 2 This means that they will usually have at least a “normal” IQ. In some cases, their IQ may be very high, even in the genius range. There are, however, different kinds of smarts.
Turnips are as dumb as they sound.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 14 May 20 - 01:49 PM

Arseburger's syndrome

President Shitbird's

Yea that figures.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 15 May 20 - 06:59 AM

Another gem of wisdom from the mind of the "stable genius" yesterday -
"And don’t forget, we have more cases than anybody in the world," he added. "But why? Because we do more testing. When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases."
And of course the people around him in the West Wing are tested frequently and he claims he is tested daily which he seems to think makes him immune to the virus. How could a POTUS be this
stupid.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 May 20 - 04:05 AM

You get the POTUS that big business paid for, and that the Electoral College ignored the facts for.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 16 May 20 - 06:12 AM

A writer friend of mine refers to the turnip as ‘Trumpelthinskin’. Sounds about right to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 20 - 07:21 AM

In the ignited states of amnesia people forget that Trump has essentially stolen immigrant children from parents to this day.

This is like Rumplestiltzskin when the woman makes a wish that her dead husband come back to life to see their child. Rumpelstiltskin grants her wish, bringing her husband back for one night, then tries to steal the baby from the mother with an attempt to eat the baby's soul.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 16 May 20 - 10:35 AM

They keep playing his idiotic and hypocritical quote about testing being overrated on the news shows and it occurred to me the in that clip he recently must have dosed off in his tanning booth because he looks like a reversed image of a red racoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 20 - 10:37 AM

He has gained 50 lbs.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 20 - 01:58 PM

Will Trump replace Dr. Fauci with Jenny McCarthy?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 16 May 20 - 04:52 PM

While searching for more information on another thread I found this:

Andrew Barton Paterson's poem Johnson's Antidote (Paterson is aka A.B. Paterson or Banjo Paterson.)

(Warning: there are some outdated expressions referring to race in the poem but he wrote his poetry early last century.)


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 17 May 20 - 04:13 PM

Johnson's Antidote, by Banjo Paterson

Some excerpts:

Johnson was a free-selector, and his brain went rather queer,
For the constant sight of serpents filled him with a deadly fear;
So he tramped his free-selection, morning, afternoon, and night,
Seeking for some great specific that would cure the serpent's bite.

.........
It will bring me fame and fortune! In the happy days to be,
Men of every clime and nation will be round to gaze on me --
Scientific men in thousands, men of mark and men of note,
Rushing down the Mooki River, after Johnson's antidote.
It will cure Delirium Tremens, when the patient's eyeballs stare
At imaginary spiders, snakes which really are not there.
When he thinks he sees them wriggle, when he thinks he sees them bloat,
It will cure him just to think of Johnson's Snakebite Antidote.'

.........

And the scientific person hurried off with utmost speed,
Tested Johnson's drug and found it was a deadly poison-weed;
Half a tumbler killed an emu, half a spoonful killed a goat,
All the snakes on earth were harmless to that awful antidote.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 17 May 20 - 08:45 PM

Further comment on quack cures and coronavirus misinformation and confusion


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 May 20 - 04:54 AM

He has gained 50 lbs. - and lost 50 IQ points?

Will Trump replace Dr. Fauci with Jenny McCarthy?

It looks to me that Fauci is playing a razor-edge game. He is probably trying to remain there to protect his staff from a massive cull. When he retires and Twitler is voted out, there is this auto-biography waiting for a voracious public to snap up. And FWIW, and he will never tell, I reckon Comey had a covert recorder going at his first meeting with his Orangeness. Wouldn't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 18 May 20 - 05:10 PM

Trump is on hydro oxy chloroquine prescribed by himself


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 18 May 20 - 07:55 PM

Yes Donuel, it's the Darwin Awards grand finale. And the winner is...!!!

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it in a spectacular manner!


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Joe Offer
Date: 18 May 20 - 08:12 PM

Every time I look at this title, it looks like "In Praise of Trump."

Could we change it to "In Praise of Rutabagas"?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 18 May 20 - 08:21 PM

There actually is a 'In Praise' of Trump thread - last autumn


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 May 20 - 06:40 AM

‘This will kill you’:

I don't refer to black humour. But.................................


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 19 May 20 - 06:59 AM

Donald Trump's parents both had the same middle name of...
Christ.
What does that make Donald?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 20 May 20 - 02:34 AM

Christ-mass i've ?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 20 May 20 - 05:25 AM

Did either his father or mother have a sister with that name as well?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 20 May 20 - 06:52 AM

Ya got better details than me. I know one thing,
I know nothing.
Please take the lead of not dumbing down posts to its lowest common factorial. I can tell you did not just fall off the Turnip truck.

Red, I was thinking donald is the middle name son of, the son of god.
I would not be surprised if inbreeding is involved. ???

Perhaps donald's grandfathers simply yelled CHrist! everytime they had another kid.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mossback
Date: 20 May 20 - 09:54 AM

Trump Warns Farmers That Gun Control Will Leave Their Potatoes Defenseless

President Donald Trump offered an unusual warning to Virginia farmers on Tuesday, suggesting that their potatoes might be at risk and they will need to be armed to protect those spuds.

“We’re going after Virginia, with your crazy governor, we’re going after Virginia. They want to take your Second Amendment. You know that, right? You’ll have nobody guarding your potatoes.”

Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam (D) fired back on Twitter

    " I grew up on a Virginia farm, Mr. President—our potatoes are fine. And as the only medical doctor among our nation’s governors, I suggest you stop taking hydroxychloroquine."


Yeah, but what about Virginia's Turnips???

Trump really is a complete furking idiot for all seasons.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 21 May 20 - 06:20 AM

Everyone knows that single shot firearms are not as effective as semi-automatic for controlling colorado beetle infestations.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 21 May 20 - 07:18 AM

Part of the Turnip base is the American Taliban (private AK_47 militias). When they do essential functions that the government doesn't do, the militias gain respect. HOWEVER
Target practice, manuverses and armed storming of the Capital in Michigan to protest stay at home orders does little to help people who are under 14 feet of water from 2 failed dams.
All the guns and all the ammunition does NOT get Michigan on its feet again.

Turnip has said "Liberate Michigan, Virginia and your State. Reopen Today!"
The American Taliban is fading away
because Donald said he will not fund
Michigan in any way.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Workingtonman
Date: 21 May 20 - 12:25 PM

a couple of weeks ago (i think - so much has happened!) the orange one declared he had proof that china had cooked up a virus to sell to the democrats to kill america (or something) have i missed something but has he provided this proof yet? has anyone asked him for it? in the rumpuk we only hear about the crazier things he has done so we probably wouldn't hear about a bit of scholarly and insightful research he has done. it sounded like quite an important claim - what happened?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 20 - 02:29 PM

Surely, all they need is a Spud Gun https://www.amazon.co.uk/Spud-Colours-vary-that-shown/dp/B074RFZK99


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 21 May 20 - 05:48 PM

Americans are more familiar with the strategy of Trump lies.
First he makes the the accusation, then refers to the fact that an accusation exists. After that the transition of the accusation being a proven fact grows everyday until the whole lie becomes absolutely true with repetition.
Maybe there is an investigation but no matter what the finding, half will believe the accusation was proved, although it is always been a lie.
Its a bit like crude hypnosis with a couple conspiracy theory variations.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: JHW
Date: 23 May 20 - 04:02 PM

In the UK swedes are often called turnips though swede is orangy-yellow and turnip is white and usually smaller. I often use if I've no carrots left. Cooks quickly boiled as small slices or chips (UK) then can be mashed yes with black pepper or served not mashed.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 23 May 20 - 05:29 PM

In the Telegrope today I read that the Lancet (UK august publication for doctors) that statistics for Hydroxychlorquine & Chlorquine used on 14,000 COVID-19 patients in US hospitals resulted in a 30% ish increase in the probability of death compared to 80,000 controls (not a controlled trial). With various permutations in conjunction with antibiotics it could be worse. And Heart arrhythmia rose more. And in one perm was 400% worse.

You know, we are living in interesting times and there might be a Turnip for the book...........


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 23 May 20 - 09:41 PM

I don' know about turnip but gillyweed works.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 24 May 20 - 08:03 AM

Our Vilevillain and chief celebrated our Happy 100,000 day with a round of very fat and bad golf. He also ordered Condemocrats and Repukingcans alike to crowd together in church this Sunday.
The NYT has a front page like no other in history today.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 26 May 20 - 10:19 AM

The Art of the Deal (ammended by Michael Cohen

1        Once you have their money... you never give it back.
2        The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.        
2        Money is everything.        
3        Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.        
5        Always exaggerate your estimates.        
6        Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.        
7        Keep your ears open.        
8        Small print leads to large risk.
9        Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10        Greed is eternal.        
14        The quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.        
15        Dead men close no deals
16        A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
17        A contract is a contract is a contract.
18        A Deal without profit is no Ferengi at all.        
19        Satisfaction is not guaranteed.        
20        He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.        
21        Never place friendship above profit.        
22        A wise man can hear profit in the wind.        
23        Nothing is more important than your health.
27        There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.        
29        What's in it for me?        Highest Score (DS9 novel)
30        "Confidentiality equals profit>
31        Never make fun of a loser's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.
33        It never hurts to suck up to the boss.        
34        War is good for business..
35        Peace is good for business.        
37        The early investor reaps the most interest.
39        Don't tell customers more than they need to know.        
40        She can touch your dick but never your $.        
41        Profit is its own reward.        
43        Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.        
44        Never confuse wisdom with luck.        
45        Expand or die
47        Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.        
48        The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.        
52        Never ask when you can take
53        Never trust anybody taller than you.        
54        Rate divided by time equals profit.
55        Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.        
57        Good customers are as rare as bearer bond—treasure
58        There is no substitute for success.        
59        Free advice is seldom cheap.        
60        Keep your lies consistent or for 2 weeks or not..        
62        The riskier the road, the greater the profit.        
63        Work is the best therapy-at least for your employees.        
65        Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.        
66        Someone's always got bigger debts.
68        Risk doesn't always equal reward.        
69        Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.        
74        Knowledge equals profit.
75        Home is where the resort is.        
76        Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.        
77        If you break it, I'll charge you for it!
82        The flimsier the product, the higher the price.        
85        Never let the competition know what you're thinking.        
87        Learn the customer's weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him
88        It ain't over 'til its over'
88        Vengeance will cost you everything.
89        Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.        
89        [It is] better to lose some profit and live than lose all profit and die.        
92        There are many paths to profit.        
94        Females and finances don't mix.
95        Expand or die.        
97        Enough... is never enough.
98        Every man has his price
98        If you can't take it with you, don't go.        
99        Trust is the biggest liability of all.        
100        When it's good for business, tell the truth.
101        Profit trumps emotion.        The Long Mirage
102        Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103        Sleep can interfere with opportunity
104        Faith moves mountains... of inventory.        
106        There is no honor in peverts
108        Hope doesn't keep the lights on.        
108        A woman wearing clothes is like a man without any profits.        
109        Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
110        Exploitation begins at home.        
111        Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.        
112        Never have sex with the wife's sister.        
113        Always have sex with the boss.        
117        You can't free a fish from water
121        Everything is for sale, even friendship.        
123        Even a blind man can recognize the glow of gold
125        You can't make a deal if you're dead.        
135        Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
139        Wives serve, brothers inherit.        
141        Only fools pay retail.        
144        There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.        
147        People love the bartender.
151        Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.        
153        Sell the sizzle, not the steak
162        Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit
168        Whisper your way to success.        
177        Know your enemies... but do business with them always.        
181        Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.        
183        When life hands you grease, make detergent
184        A Trump waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.        
188        Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189        Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.        
190        Hear all, trust nothing.        
192        Never cheat an Arab unless you're sure you can get away with it.        The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
193        Trouble comes in threes.        
193        It's never too late to fire the staff.        
194        It's always good business to know about new customers
199        Location, location, location.
200        A Trump chooses no side but his own        
202        Suckers are succulent, but sometimes they bite back
208        Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a ? is an answer.        
211        Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.        
212        A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.        
214        Never begin a (business) negotiation on an empty stomach.        
216        Never gamble with a telepath.        
217        Always know what you're buying.
218        Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.        
219        Possession is eleven-tenths of the law!        
223        Beware the man who doesn't take time for blackmail
227        If that's what's written, then that's what's written.        Star Trek Online
229        Gold lasts longer than lust.        
235        Duck; death is tall
236        You can't buy fate
239        Never be afraid to mislabel a product.        
240        Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.        
242        More is good... all is better
243        Always leave yourself an out.        
248        The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme & expecting different results
255        A wife is luxury... a smart accountant a neccessity.        
257        When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger
261        A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience
263        Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for gold
266        When in doubt, lie.        
267        If you believe it, they believe it.        
272        Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
280        If it ain't broke, don't fix it.        
284        Deep down, everyone's bought.
285        No good deed ever goes unpunished
287        Always get somebody else to do the lifting
288        Never get into anything that you can't get out of
289        A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.        
290        An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally.        
291        The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can demand.
292        Betrayal can be fired
293        The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.        
294        A bargain usually isn't
431        When the shooting starts, let the mercenaries handle it!


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 27 May 20 - 06:36 AM

If you are elderly and plan to vote for Trump, the White House advises you to vote by absentee ballot BEFORE you die of corona virus - not after. 8^7


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 29 May 20 - 05:39 PM

"when the looting starts the shooting starts"
quote by Trump over murder protest, riots and looting over the murder of blacks by police in Minneapolice


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 30 May 20 - 05:09 PM

FOREVER YOUNG
May Vlad bless and keep you always.
May your tweets reveal your dark soul
May you never do to others
And have others do to you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
We'll cut off every rung
And may you stay
Forever Lost.
May you grow up to be found guilty.
May you grow up despite the cost.
May you never beat the flu
And see the light of the eclipse.
May you meet someone just like you,
Stand uptight, like a stump
And may you stay
Forever Trump.
Forever Trump.
Forever Trump.
May you stay
Forever Trump.
May your hands never grab pussy.
May your feet always be slick.
May you have a strong 9 iron
And never never make back par.
May your pancreas make black tar.
May your sons stay far away
And may you stay
Forever Trump.
Forever Trump.
Forever Trump.
May you stay
Forever Trump.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Thompson
Date: 31 May 20 - 06:49 PM

The Financial Times, which has been playing a blinder in keeping a statistical watch on Covid-19's track of devastation across the world, has finally come to the conclusion that none of the usual methods of comparing countries works.
They are now comparing countries' figures using the only figure that can't easily be juked, at least by a relatively honest government: the figure for deaths-above-normal.
This means that countries that say "Might've been Covid-19 or might've been pneumonia" and exclude deaths on that basis can't dodge the figures.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 02:33 AM

excess deaths.
which includes deaths by proxy, vulnerable people too afraid to go to hospital for other complaints.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 09:44 AM

Thank you, President Shitbird for fanning the flames of racism for political gain. I know you didn't invent racism but your hate mongering is in large part responsible for the violence that is now tearing our nation apart. And in all this turmoil let's not forget that your politicization of and gross ineptitude in handling this pandemic has exponentially raised the death toll.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 10:12 AM

You're also the author of our current economic disaster due to your late and ineffectual response to the virus. I hope all Americans are keeping score.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 12:25 PM

Trump has stage-managed the perfect storm - the health, reputation, and economy of the nation are in a temporary shambles and his name is stamped all over it.

This is the illustration of a "hot mess."


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mossback
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 12:39 PM

And despite all of this, 43% plus of USAians still think that President Shit doesn't stink, and that he's "the greatest president in AmeriKKKan history".

Oh, ye generation of morons. God Help AmeriKKKa.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 01:17 PM

Mr Turnip got scared last night. For an hour he hunkered in the nuclear bunker deep under the White House as demonstrators pushed over Barackades in Lafayette Park which is like his front yard.

Today he is frustrated in his inability to find Govenors willing to issue shoot to kill orders and is calling them WEAK Weak weak.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mossback
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 05:47 PM

Surely that's Mr. TurdNip?


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 08:40 PM

folk song Tom Leher . lyrics no

I'm for law and oder
and shoot any who loot
If you have no receipt for that Shea Oil
Girl you're gonna get shot

I'm for law and order
more than anyone else
If you're black you have splainin to do
Not white? go fuck yourself

I'm fer lar an ardor
I dont rap or even bust rhymes
And even though I throw a couple extra lyrics occaisionaly into a line
I'm great all of the time

I'm 4 chan law and order
I worship the KKK
We have a quota on all black lives
They say I'm not OK


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 04:33 AM

The photo of him standing in front of a vandalised Washington DC church holding a bible, makes me want to throw up. Everything's a photo/re-election opp. God how that man disgusts me!


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 05:57 AM

The bishop here agrees with you John

For more bang for the buck I have submitted to DARPA my prototype of semi lethal "super ball rubber bullets". Once fired they don't stop bouncing around for 30 seconds. They can go around corners and injure multiple targets in one shot. I got an endorsement from Steven Miller who said I am in the spirit of the Trump Presidency. :^/


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 06:22 AM

We have had Presidents who soared like eagles, we have even had chicken hawks but never before have we had such a big fat Tweety Bird.

Yesterday Tweety Bird posed like the statue of Liberty with a church as a backdrop. He held the bible above his head where the torch would go and in the other hand where a book should be be held by the heart, his arm hung limply by his side.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 06:48 AM

He's losing ground with evangelicals so he had peaceful protesters attacked at the very same moment he was saying he was allied with them, all for a photo op in front of a church with a bible for a prop. Before he even took office I was thinking he could start a civil war with his hateful, devisive rhetoric and now it seems he's brought us to the brink of one just to further his own interests.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 07:33 AM

Its like when Ceasar declared himself an Emporer God but Trump said it without words. Ceasar was stabbed in the Rotundra which I hear is a very painful spot to be stabbed. This time the Senators are on Trump's side.

The irony doesn't stop there. When Kapernick took a knee on the football field I never expected a policeman to take a knee to murder. There are also cops who take a knee in solidarity with protestors.


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 08:03 AM

Shortly after George Floyd's murder LeBron James posted a split screen photo with the cop kneeling on Floyd's neck on one half and Colin Kapernick kneeling on a sideline on the other with the caption "That's Why".


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Trumpppp
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Jun 20 - 11:21 AM

"Forgive him Lord, he does not know what he does...
on second thought Lord, SMITE AWAY."


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Jun 20 - 12:12 PM

Thats what should be written on the church sign for Trump's photo op


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jun 20 - 07:25 AM

Strange Times Indeed

The Military leadership is sounding more judicious than the Supreme Court!


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jun 20 - 11:43 AM

Trump finally finished his physical exam for the year.

He left his lift shoes on when he was measured: it seems the Donald has grown an inch since the first year (and no one believed the 6'2" when he made that claim!) And they apparently dropped 100 pounds from his weight, though say he has gained 1 pound since last year.

"His 2018 physical showed that Trump, at 6-foot 3-inches tall, had a body mass index of 29.9 last year, which places him in the overweight category on the verge of obesity, which is defined as a BMI of 30 or greater."


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Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mossback
Date: 04 Jun 20 - 12:54 PM

But did they weigh his brain?


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