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Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee

YorkshireYankee 18 Nov 20 - 12:12 AM
Joe Offer 11 Dec 20 - 03:33 PM
Joe Offer 11 Dec 20 - 03:34 PM
Joe Offer 11 Dec 20 - 03:37 PM
Joe Offer 11 Dec 20 - 03:52 PM
Steve Gardham 11 Dec 20 - 04:23 PM
Joe Offer 11 Dec 20 - 05:52 PM
Steve Gardham 11 Dec 20 - 05:54 PM
Joe Offer 11 Dec 20 - 06:16 PM
r.padgett 12 Dec 20 - 02:24 AM
GUEST,Big Al Whittle 12 Dec 20 - 04:08 AM
Cool Beans 12 Dec 20 - 12:44 PM
YorkshireYankee 05 Apr 21 - 08:39 PM
r.padgett 06 Apr 21 - 03:57 AM
Steve Gardham 06 Apr 21 - 09:29 AM
YorkshireYankee 07 Apr 21 - 12:41 AM
r.padgett 07 Apr 21 - 02:32 AM
Steve Gardham 07 Apr 21 - 09:34 AM
YorkshireYankee 08 Apr 21 - 12:09 AM
leeneia 08 Apr 21 - 12:39 AM
YorkshireYankee 08 Apr 21 - 10:09 PM
r.padgett 09 Apr 21 - 02:23 AM
Steve Gardham 09 Apr 21 - 09:39 AM
YorkshireYankee 09 Apr 21 - 10:39 PM
GerryM 10 Apr 21 - 12:08 AM
YorkshireYankee 11 Apr 21 - 05:22 AM
YorkshireYankee 12 Apr 21 - 09:00 PM
YorkshireYankee 09 May 21 - 04:10 PM
leeneia 11 May 21 - 01:22 PM
YorkshireYankee 17 May 21 - 07:55 PM
YorkshireYankee 24 May 21 - 07:36 PM
leeneia 25 May 21 - 12:33 PM
gillymor 25 May 21 - 12:43 PM
YorkshireYankee 26 May 21 - 07:42 PM
YorkshireYankee 10 Jun 21 - 04:54 PM
YorkshireYankee 07 Sep 21 - 06:42 PM
leeneia 08 Sep 21 - 10:07 AM
YorkshireYankee 10 Sep 21 - 10:43 PM
YorkshireYankee 19 Sep 21 - 01:48 AM
YorkshireYankee 28 Sep 21 - 07:11 PM
Sandra in Sydney 28 Sep 21 - 11:44 PM
YorkshireYankee 29 Sep 21 - 08:24 PM
leeneia 02 Oct 21 - 10:36 PM
YorkshireYankee 09 Oct 21 - 07:02 PM
GUEST 17 Oct 21 - 05:40 PM
YorkshireYankee 10 Nov 21 - 07:19 PM
leeneia 12 Nov 21 - 01:30 PM
YorkshireYankee 12 Nov 21 - 05:20 PM
Joe Offer 12 Nov 21 - 11:05 PM
Sandra in Sydney 13 Nov 21 - 02:43 AM
Sandra in Sydney 13 Nov 21 - 04:25 AM
YorkshireYankee 13 Nov 21 - 07:48 PM
Sandra in Sydney 13 Nov 21 - 11:53 PM
YorkshireYankee 15 Nov 21 - 04:10 PM
Sandra in Sydney 15 Nov 21 - 06:27 PM
YorkshireYankee 15 Nov 21 - 06:29 PM
Joe Offer 15 Nov 21 - 06:49 PM
Sandra in Sydney 15 Nov 21 - 07:07 PM
YorkshireYankee 16 Nov 21 - 10:37 PM
YorkshireYankee 16 Nov 21 - 10:47 PM
YorkshireYankee 16 Nov 21 - 11:45 PM
Sandra in Sydney 17 Nov 21 - 01:04 AM
YorkshireYankee 17 Nov 21 - 10:18 PM
Sandra in Sydney 18 Nov 21 - 02:24 AM
YorkshireYankee 07 Jan 22 - 12:07 AM
Sandra in Sydney 07 Jan 22 - 04:47 PM
YorkshireYankee 07 Jan 22 - 05:04 PM
Sandra in Sydney 08 Jan 22 - 03:14 AM
YorkshireYankee 09 Jan 22 - 02:37 AM
YorkshireYankee 30 Jan 22 - 09:19 PM
YorkshireYankee 13 Jul 22 - 08:11 PM
YorkshireYankee 13 Jul 22 - 09:05 PM
YorkshireYankee 13 Jul 22 - 09:16 PM
YorkshireYankee 19 Jul 22 - 08:26 PM
YorkshireYankee 02 Sep 22 - 07:26 PM
YorkshireYankee 02 Sep 22 - 07:32 PM
leeneia 03 Sep 22 - 01:40 PM
YorkshireYankee 04 Sep 22 - 12:59 AM
HuwG 07 Sep 22 - 03:45 PM
YorkshireYankee 13 Sep 22 - 06:45 PM
Mo the caller 14 Sep 22 - 05:22 PM
YorkshireYankee 14 Sep 22 - 07:44 PM
YorkshireYankee 16 Oct 22 - 12:52 AM
MaJoC the Filk 17 Oct 22 - 08:27 AM
YorkshireYankee 26 Oct 22 - 04:22 PM
YorkshireYankee 05 Feb 23 - 11:59 PM
YorkshireYankee 13 Jul 24 - 08:11 PM
YorkshireYankee 19 Aug 24 - 12:27 AM
leeneia 21 Aug 24 - 12:56 PM
YorkshireYankee 29 Aug 24 - 04:26 PM
YorkshireYankee 31 Aug 24 - 04:44 PM
YorkshireYankee 23 Sep 24 - 03:08 PM
GUEST 23 Sep 24 - 07:24 PM
YorkshireYankee 30 Sep 24 - 05:09 PM
YorkshireYankee 30 Sep 24 - 05:38 PM
YorkshireYankee 15 Oct 24 - 06:15 PM
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Subject: Lyr Add: IT'S MY PARTY (AND I'LL LIE...) - parody
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 18 Nov 20 - 12:12 AM

There was a request for the words to the parody I sang on Monday (Nov 16th), so here it is (I've also added it to the "'Fall of Trump' songs" thread).

Nobody knows where my vict'ry has gone
Rudy said it would be mine
Joey and Kam are ruining my plan
To rule to the end of time

It's my party and I'll lie if I want to
Lie if I want to, lie if I want to
You would lie too if it happened to you


Playing my mindgames on election night
Tweeting that mail-ins are frauds
Any vote cast that was not for me
Just ain't the will of the Lawd

It's my party and they'll lie if I say so
Lie if I say so, lie if I say so
You would lie too if you wanted a coup


Antifa libtards all think they have won
But I'll show them they are wrong
Oh what a bigly surprise
I've had advice from Kim Jong

It's my party and they'll lie if I say so
Lie if I say so, lie if I say so
You would lie too if you wanted a coup


Some nasty people think all votes should count
Whether or not they're for me
So bad they can't understand
Wake up and smell the covfefe

It's my Whitehouse and I'll stay if I want to
Stay if I want to, stay if I want to
You would stay too if you wanted a coup
You would lie too if you wanted a coup
You would lie too if it happened to you


new words by Vikki Appleton Fielden, 16th Nov 2020
Video here or here.


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Subject: ADD:Don't Know the Words.(for My Favo(u)rite Thing
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Dec 20 - 03:33 PM

I'm listening to an online concert by Vikki Appleton Fielden, the Yorkshire Yankee. Vikki writes some interesting songs, but they're scattered all over Mudcat and hard to find. I thought I'd post duplicates here. She sang most of these songs during the performance, and ended the program with "Music in my Mother's House" by Stuart Stotts of Madison, Wisconsin.

Thread #168014   Message #4062116
Posted By: YorkshireYankee
30-Jun-20 - 01:49 AM
Thread Name: Mudcat Worldwide Singaround - On Zoom Mondays
Subject: ADD-Don’t Know the Words.(for My FavoUrite Things)

And here are the words for my UK vs US English parody of "My Favorite Things", as a number of people seemed interested. (I've posted it in a Mudcat thread before now, but I've revised it since then, so might as well share the updated version.)

Below the lyrics, I've added a glossary, for those who may not be familiar with all the terms.

Don’t Know the Words... (for My Favo(u)rite Things)
TTO: Rodger & Hammerstein’s My Favorite Things
New words: Vikki Appleton Fielden

Jelly is jam here, and jello is jelly
The car has a boot and my foot wears a wellie
Mention “sultanas”, I think "Eastern Kings"
Don’t know the words for my favourite things

Summat is not where you go when you’re climbing
Jumper is not someone into sky diving
Bob is Your uncle, the Beeb is your aunt
Don’t know the words to explain what I want

If my languish causes anguish; if you think me sad
Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank,
and that’s why I talk... so bad

Beer’s sold by landlords instead of bartenders
Don’t tell the clerk that your man needs suspenders
Braces are not always worn on your teeth
Rubber is nothing to do with a sheath

I stand in line; over here it’s called queueing
Lines are engaged but they never need wooing
You stop while five while I stay until four
Knob isn’t always a thing on a door

If I speak, luv, like a freak, luv; if you think me mad
Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank,
and that’s why I talk... so bad

Biscuits are sweet but a tart can be racy,
a Nice bit o’ crumpet might wear something lacy
Crackers are not always eaten with cheese
Folks don’t wear flannels but you can wear fleece

Chips come with haddock; and crisps in a packet
Soccer is football and baseball’s not cricket
Stockings have ladders and Cricket has runs
Baps is the word for my favourite buns

If you’re thinkin’ I’ve been drinkin’; if I seem a cad
Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank,
and that’s why I talk... so bad

Two pints of bitter was not a bad notion
Held up two fingers and caused a commotion
I didn’t quack but you called me a duck
Muffler’s not something to quiet a truck

You call me luv; I don’t know who you are, pet
But when I say shag, ducks, I only mean carpet
Met a cute bloke at the Anchor & Bull
Kept my hands off him but he said I pulled

I get confused but I can’t ask my granny
My knickers are knackered and show off my f...reckles
You can go barking though you’re not a dog,
Everyone goes to the loo in a swamp... (um, bog!)

If my diction causes friction; if I’m misconstrued
Oh, won’t you remember I’m just a poor Yank,
and that’s why I talk... so rude!

===========

GLOSSARY
UK/Yorkshire word – US word
--------------------------------------------

jelly – Jello
jam – jelly
preserves – jam
boot – (car) trunk
wellie (short for Wellington) – boot
sultana – raisin (sort of: raisins and a sultanas are produced from the same grape but a raisin is dried naturally, and a sultana is dipped in veg oil and acid and then dried.)
summat – something (I think it's a corruption of somewhat)
jumper – sweater
Bob's your uncle – you're all set/in good shape
Auntie Beeb – the BBC
landlord – pub owner
suspenders – garter
braces – suspenders
rubber – condom
queue – line
line – telephone line
engaged – busy
stop – stay
while – until
knob – dick
biscuit – cookie
tart – loose woman
nice bit of crumpet – very attractive woman (usually young)
cracker – very attractive woman
flannel – washcloth
fleece – warm jacket (often woolen)
chips – french fries
crisps – potato chips
football – soccer
ladder – run (as in stocking)
steps – ladder
baps – bread rolls
holding up two fingers is like flipping the bird to someone – rudest possible gesture (but it's ok if you do it like a peace sign).
meduck/ducks – dearie
muffler – scarf
silencer – muffler
luv – darlin'
pet – dear
shag – have sex with
pulled – successfully picked up/scored
knickers – undies
pants – underpants
knackered – worn out
fanny – pussy (as in woman's "front bottom")
barking – mad
bog – bathroom (Brits think we're rather silly to call it a bathroom, especially if there's not even a bath in it)


Vikki's concert is hosted by Piers Cawley, also a good singer.


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Subject: ADD: True Love (Vikki Appleton Fielden)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Dec 20 - 03:34 PM

Thread #168211   Message #4063299
Posted By: YorkshireYankee
07-Jul-20 - 11:01 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Add: True Love (alternative broken token song
Subject: Lyr Add: TRUE LOVE (Vikki Appleton Fielden)

Hello folks,

Sang this during Monday's world-wide sing and was asked for the words, so here they are (and after the song, a link to a recording of the tune):

I wrote this because I was getting tired of all the trad broken token songs where the "fair maid" collapses weeping/vows she'll never marry when told her true love is dead, then falls rejoicing into the arms of her love when he says "Only kidding! It's really me – I just wanted to test your love."
Personally, I think she oughta smack him...


TRUE LOVE
by Vikki Appleton Fielden
©August 2018

As I roved out one May morning, I spied a maiden fair
I asked her if she'd marry me and my love did declare
She said her love was far away and that she must be true
And showed to me one half a coin that had been broke in two
Two-oh, two-oh, had been broke in two-oh...
And showed to me one half a coin that had been broke in two

Then I held up the other half and said, "Tis I, your Will!"
Now twenty years have we been wed and we are happy still
But I've a guilty secret though in wedded bliss we live
Which I will now confess to her, and hope she will forgive
Give-oh, give oh, hope she will forgive oh...
Which I will now confess to her, and hope she will forgive

Your darling Will, he died at sea, a-wounded in the groin
He told me of his love for you and gave me his half-coin
I promised I would tell you this if you I chanced to find
But when I saw you standing there... I somehow changed my mind
Mind-oh, mind-oh, somehow changed my mind oh...
But when I saw you standing there... I somehow changed my mind

Dear husband, what a charming tale, and what a big surprise
To learn that after all these years you told me porkie pies*
So now to you a tale I'll tell about my cousin Nancy
Who tired of waiting for her Will when Johnny caught her fancy
Fancy, fancy, Johnny caught her fancy...
Who tired of waiting for her Will when Johnny caught her fancy

And so to me her coin she gave, the one that was but half
And said, "If Willie e'er returns, 'twill be good for a laugh
I thought that I would tell him this if me he chanced to find
But when I saw you standing there... I somehow changed my mind
Mind-oh, mind-oh, somehow changed my mind oh...
But when I saw you standing there... I somehow changed my mind

So now my tale is at an end, our love has passed the test
And even after all these years, it turned out for the best
For I love her and she loves me; we found the love we sought
Despite the fact that neither one is who the other thought
Thought-oh, thought-oh, who the other thought oh...
Despite the fact that neither one is who the other thought


*"pork pies" is Cockney rhyming slang for "lies"


Link to a rough recording of me singing it, for those who want the tune as well: https://soundcloud.com/user-878817332/true-love


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Subject: ADD: Ode to Joy (alt lyrics for EU anthem)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Dec 20 - 03:37 PM

Thread #161747   Message #4062114
Posted By: YorkshireYankee
30-Jun-20 - 01:32 AM
Thread Name: Ode to Joy - other lyrics
Subject: ADD: Ode to Joy (alt lyrics for EU anthem)

Here are the words for the EU Anthem I sang at yesterday's session (I've also added them to the "National Anthems" thread):

ODE TO JOY
(new words ©Vikki Fielden, 15/1/19)

Let us sing in celebration
Of a union strong and free
Though we are of many nations
Europeans proud are we

As we join in joint endeavour
Let us strive for truth and peace
As our nations work together
May our friendships never cease

Let us sing in celebration
Of a union strong and free
Though we are of many nations
Europeans proud are we

Grant us grace, that we may we live our
Lives in peace and unity
And in future we may give our
Children hope and harmony

Let us sing in celebration
Of a union strong and free
Though we are of many nations
Europeans proud are we
Though we are of many nations
Europeans proud are we


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Subject: ADD: April Fool (Vikki Appleton Fielden)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Dec 20 - 03:52 PM

http://thedance.net/~roth/SONGS/aprilfool.html

April Fool
©~1997 Vikki Appleton

Come sit ye down beside me and hear my sorry tale
And if you have a mind to, you might purchase me an ale
Me heart is sick and weary and me pride is hurtin' bad
And if you listen, you will hear the time that I have had.

Chorus:
   For there's no fool like an April fool
   I thought I'd learned me lessons, but now I'm back in school
   And there's no fool like an April fool
   So I'll just drink and sit and think, how love can be so cruel.

Now I was just a fool for love -- I guess I lost me head
But she was young and pretty and she winked at me and said
Come sit ye down beside me and we'll have a drink or two
Her charms were irresistible... what else was I to do?

Chorus


We passed a lovely evening there and when she asked me in
I knew that luck was with me (or perhaps it was the gin)...
The next thing I remember I was lyin' in the street
Without a stitch of clothing or the shoes upon me feet.

Chorus

So now, your Honour, here I stand, and now I comprehend
Not every lass who smiles at you is bound to be a friend
So if you'll take a tip from me concernin' lovin's game
Don't trust a girl who who tells you, Sir, that April is her name...

Chorus



Very rough recording of me singing this: https://soundcloud.com/user-878817332/aprilfoolmp3


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 11 Dec 20 - 04:23 PM

Great stuff, Joe! I don't know Vikki but we do have mutual friends I believe. The Europe anthem is pretty poignant at the moment!


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Subject: ADD: Email He-male (Vikki Appleton Fielden)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Dec 20 - 05:52 PM

Thread #138566   Message #3171731
Posted By: YorkshireYankee
16-Jun-11 - 07:53 PM
Thread Name: Help me get 'exposure' for e-sex song?
Subject: ADD: e-mail He-male (Vikki Appleton)

oldhippie, thanks!

Michael, good idea, but I'm going crazy with getting ready to leave for the US (for 2 months, to visit my family) in less than a week, and I've never uploaded anything to YouTube before, let alone put together a video montage -- I think it would be biting off more than I can chew at the moment. The timing is unfortunate; I wish I'd realised a bit sooner! Thank you anyway...

For anyone interested, here are the words:

=================================

e-mail He-male
(©1995 Vikki Appleton)

I got me an e-mail he-male... cruisin' on the internet
I got me an e-mail he-male... usin' on the internet
Well the man can push my buttons... even though we haven't met.

Now I never seen his hardware, but I really could not care
And he cannot touch my software... sister, ask me if I care
'Cause he can turn me on... even though he isn't there.

Well I know he's user-friendly... he can tell me what to do
Honey, he's a friendly user... knows exactly what to do
And I don't know how he does it, but I'm smilin' when he's through!

Bridge:
    Well, the man knows how to send me... he's got a magic hand
    When I open up my mailbox, I just come at his command
    Oh, I love to see him upload... he don't ever need no rest
    'Cause the guy ain't got a floppy... yes, his hard drive is the best.

So I get my satisfaction... from a man I do not know
Yes, I get some satisfaction, honey... from a man I'll never know
'Cause cyberluv is better, baby -- it's the only way go
'Cause cyberluv is safer, honey! It's the way to... come and go!

===============

Interestingly, I wrote e-mail He-male in 1995. A few years later, I met the man who is now my husband -- online (much to my surprise). Thus did life imitate art imitating life, and I ended up moving to Sheffield (from the Detroit area).


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 11 Dec 20 - 05:54 PM

Wow!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Dec 20 - 06:16 PM

And besides that, she's such a nice person!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: r.padgett
Date: 12 Dec 20 - 02:24 AM

Yes I know Vikki

Football is football ~ American football is American football end of!


Soccer does not exist in UK

Ray


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: GUEST,Big Al Whittle
Date: 12 Dec 20 - 04:08 AM

Lovely to hear from her after all this time. Very urbane lyrics too. Please pass on my warmest regards.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Cool Beans
Date: 12 Dec 20 - 12:44 PM

Vikki, these are wonderful!!
Marty


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 05 Apr 21 - 08:39 PM

Wow! I only check in on Mudcat sporadically these days, so I've only just happened across this thread (while googling for my April Fool song; was wondering whether or not I'd posted the words here).

Thank you, Joe! I consider it a real honor that you took the time to do this. I might add a few songs when I have a spare moment.

Steve, I don't think we've met, but we've both attended events in Sheffield (including the Wanton Seed book launch and Trad Song Forum meetings). I'm certainly aware of all your good work in the field. Perhaps we will eventually meet, post-Covid...

Hi Ray, hope to see and sing with you again one of these months...

Al, good to hear from you, too! Hope you're well and enjoying your retirement.

Marty, coming from you, I consider that to be very high praise indeed.

Thanks again to Joe and the rest of you.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: r.padgett
Date: 06 Apr 21 - 03:57 AM

"there's no fool like an April Fool" missed it!

Ray


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 06 Apr 21 - 09:29 AM

Vikki,
Do you have any specifically Yorkshire songs we could add to our Yorkshire Garland website if ever we get the chance to add more songs?

Do you have a website? Ours are www.sparehands.org and www.yorkshirefolksong.net among others.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 07 Apr 21 - 12:41 AM

Wow, Steve, I'm very flattered that you would ask!

I don't have any specifically Yorkshire songs; I'm a transplanted Yank (hence the "Favo(u)rite Things" song, inspired by the steep vocabulary learning curve when I moved from the Detroit area to Sheffield 20+ years ago), so it might be a bit presumptuous of me to write a Yorkshire song (then again, maybe someday)...

I don't have a website, although I should probably do something about that one of these days.

Raymond, yes, this is definitely the time of year I'd sing April Fool. (Have been doing it at some zoom sings, though it's not the same, of course.)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: r.padgett
Date: 07 Apr 21 - 02:32 AM

Hy Vikki ~ not really sung anything last 12 months or so ~ though I bring songs to mind and pick up the concertina for tunes ~ a bit of a problem without fellow singers around

Hopefully we will get the all clear before long now ~ fingers crossed

Ray

New songs in the making then Vikki?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 07 Apr 21 - 09:34 AM

Hi Vikki,
You have every qualification to write a Yorkshire song, not least being an excellent songwriter. Some of the world's best songs are about places the writer has never been to. I write songs about the trawling industry. I've never been to sea on a trawler but I've read lots of books and talked to people who have. Added to that is the fact sometimes a newcomer's perspective is desirable.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 08 Apr 21 - 12:09 AM

Steve, thank you very much for the kind words. That's food for thought – and definitely motivation to have a go at writing a Yorkshire song!

Ray, have you tried any of the zoom sings? I can definitely recommend the Mudcat sing on Monday evenings! I've been singing more this past year than before Covid; I manage 7-10 a week, and I think they've helped keep me sane during lockdown. I do sorely miss 'wall of sound' sessions like Kelham Island Tavern, but it's been lovely getting to meet/hear other folkies from various countries and time zones.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 08 Apr 21 - 12:39 AM

AAAGRHH! The video is unavailable.

I love the song True Love.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 08 Apr 21 - 10:09 PM

Hi leeneia! That's odd, as I've just copy-pasted the link and it works when I do that. (It also works when my husband tries it.) It is a link to a post in the Mudcat group on fb, so if you don't do fb, maybe that's why? Anyway, if you PM me your @ddress, I'd be happy to send you an mp3.

Steve, I've thought of something I've written that might qualify as a Yorkshire song... inspired by the Sheffield flooding of 2007. Only problem is that it's a parody – of John Tams' wonderful Rolling Home. He is aware of it, thanks to a friend of mine who sent it to him (without telling me) and has given me his blessing – verbally, though not in writing, so he may or may not remember doing so at this point. But it's not entirely original, so may not truly qualify...

Rowing Home
with apologies to John Tams
new words ©July 2007 Vikki Appleton Fielden

There goes the River Don, luv,
Just watch it bloody rise
There’s a place we go to sleep each night,
Waits on the other side
There’ll be p’lice & mud aplenty,
And Skodas in the foam
As we go rowing home,
As we go rowing home

CHORUS:
Rowing home, as we go rowing home,
When we go rowing, rowing,
As we go rowing home.


From Meadowhall to Brightside,
The helicopters roar
The river tops The Wicker,
And tide’s in down Shalesmoor
There are no trams or buses,
Or taxis we can phone
So we’ll go rowing home,
We will go rowing home

CHORUS

They kicked us out of Fatcat*,
Although the beer weren’t gone
They said it were not safe no more,
Though we had us wellies on
So it’s a little damp, miluv
There’s still no need to moan
As long as tap still flows,
We won’t be rowing home

CHORUS

The rain is on my hedgerow...
So is the River Don
And now I can go fishing
Where once I mowed the lawn
So Walkley’s lost their power
I’ve lost me garden gnome!
I hope it’s rowing home,
I hope it’s rowing home

CHORUS

So Summer’s brought us flooding
Now winter drought has passed
If this i’n’t global warming,
George Bush can kiss my... knee
If we don’t pull together,
We’ll reap what we have sown
As we go rowing home,
As we go rowing home

CHORUS

*If singing for people who don't know Sheffield, substitute "pub, lads" for "Fatcat".


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: r.padgett
Date: 09 Apr 21 - 02:23 AM

Yes Fat Cat, Kelham Island Tavern ~ referred to as KIT and

Shakespeare(Gibraltar Street) all quite close to each other ~ all folkie pubs ~

Kelham Island Industrial Museum with its iron and steel exhibits worth a look if visiting

Sheffield has in the past suffered some high flooding levels ~ hopefully sorted now

Ray


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 09 Apr 21 - 09:39 AM

Okay, Vikki
I believe a parody is counted as an original composition so the text is fine. However if the tune is as one presumes the same, we would need permission to record that, and presumably you singing it. Regarding localised placenames in Sheffield, that's all fine too. If any explanation is needed that comes in the provenance notes. Once you or s.o.e. has got permission to use the tune from John, unless of course it's a traditional tune, which I don't think it is.(then we'll need to get it recorded). The verse tune is quite close to one of those tunes used for 'The Dolphin' with a different rhythm.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 09 Apr 21 - 10:39 PM

Very interesting, Steve, thanks. (I don't know what "s.o.e." stands for, though.)
The tune is the same as Rolling Home; I don't know John personally, so I don't know if an email from me would get through...


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: GerryM
Date: 10 Apr 21 - 12:08 AM

"s.o.e." = "SomeOne Else".


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 11 Apr 21 - 05:22 AM

Thanks, Gerry.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 12 Apr 21 - 09:00 PM

Adding the song I sang during the Mudcat zoom this evening...

I wrote this in the spring of 2017, after reading about a beautiful golden beach that had disappeared and then returned – after 33 years – to the town of Dooagh on the tiny island of Achill (pronounced Ack-ill) off the coast of Ireland. If you're intrigued, there's more info in this article, and photos, too.

I started to muse about where the beach might have gone to on its 'holiday' had a look (thanks to Google) at various maps of the world's ocean currents, and came up with a route that this beach might have traveled...

Wave Goodbye
©April 2017 Vikki Appleton Fielden

My name is such a mouthful that I pray you call me Sandy
My home's a tiny village where the tides they love to tarry
I there resided gladly for more years than can be counted
Until one day I ran away to see the world about me

Chorus:
Wave goodbye, wave hello
There are so many places to go
Wave goodbye, wave hello
You're always welcome home


I hitched a tide to Iceland, then to Greenland made my way
And drifted continental to a Caribbean bay
I surfed the South Atlantic, took a quick Antarctic tour... 'til
Pacific currents left me Russian for Alaska's shore

Chorus

I sang a song in Singapore, Australia was a blast
I rolled around South Africa, Sahara waved me past
But then in southern Europe I began to miss my home
After three-and-thirty years upon the roam

Chorus

For in 1984 I left my home on Ireland's coast
I hear they missed me greatly, though I know I shouldn't boast
So in 2017 I caught an April storm and then
How the town of Dooagh cheered to have a golden beach again

Chorus

My name is such a mouthful that I pray you call me Sandy
My home is Achill Island where the tides they love to tarry
I've played the wild rover and around the world migrated
But now I'm back where I belong, my wanderlust abated

Chorus


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Subject: ADD: Get Your Vaccination (Yorkshire Yankee)
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 09 May 21 - 04:10 PM

I wrote this a couple of months ago, persuaded a few friends to help me sing it and got a couple of pros to help me record it and produce a video: "Come On Baby, Get Your Vaccination"
I'm very pleased with how it turned out!


GET YOUR VACCINATION
to the tune of "The Locomotion" by Gerry Goffin and Carole King
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, 15 March 2021         

Everybody's talkin' bout this brand new jab now
Come on baby, get your vaccination
Kudos to the people workin' in the lab now
Come on baby, get your vaccination

Do it for your granny, for your family and friends
'Cos that's the only way this nasty virus will end, so
Come on, come on, get your vaccination with me

You gotta make that call now
Come on, baby, sign up... relax
Well I think that you're on track

After you have done it you will feel so good, yeah (BREATHE!)
Come on baby, get your vaccination
You know you'll wanna tell it to the whole neighborhood, yeah
Come on baby, get your vaccination

It really is so easy now, it won't be long
Til Covid disappears and we can sing a song, so
Come on, come on, get your vaccination with me

And then we'll lose those masks, yeah
Come on, baby, roll up... your sleeve
And a gift you will receive

When it's fin'ly over and the job is done, yeah (BREATHE!)
Come on baby, get your vaccination
We'll get to sing and dance again and have some fun, yeah
Come on baby, get your vaccination

We'll get to live our lives again, and have no fear
We'll see a show and hug our friends and shed a tear, so
Come on, come on, get your vaccination
Come on, come on, get your vaccination
Come on, come on, get your vaccination today


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 11 May 21 - 01:22 PM

Good work, Vikki.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 17 May 21 - 07:55 PM

Thanks, Leeneia!


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Subject: ADD: Do You Love an Orange? (Yorkshire Yankee)
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 24 May 21 - 07:36 PM

Do You Love an Orange?
to the tune of Do You Love an Apple?
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden

Just over six years ago (on 22nd May 2015) the Irish held a referendum on gay marriage, which passed – with 62% of voters in favour (on a turnout of 61%). When I went to my fourth Sunday pub sing that evening (at Kelham Island Tavern in Sheffield), one of my friends said, "I wish we had a song we could sing to celebrate the result!"

So I had a bit of a think, and wrote this (with a nod to Jeanette Winterson's Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit):

DO YOU LOVE AN ORANGE?
(Vikki Appleton Fielden)

Do you love an orange, do you love a pear?
Do you think allowing gay marriage is fair?
Oh, yes we know love, We'll not deny love
We'll vote for love wherever it grows

We used to be Catholic, at mass every day
But now the hypocrisy gets in our way
Oh, yes we know love, We'll not deny love
We'll vote for love wherever it grows

When we were all children, we bought what they said
That only a man and a woman could wed
Oh, yes we know love, We'll not deny love
We'll vote for love wherever it grows

Now that we're older, we're sure God must feel
That any love's worthy as long as it's real
Oh, yes we know love, We'll not deny love
We'll vote for love wherever it grows

And why should we say any love deserves shame
When hate, greed and cruelty cause so much pain
Oh, yes we know love, We'll not deny love
We'll vote for love wherever it grows

Do you love an orange, do you love a pear?
Do you think allowing gay marriage is fair?
Oh, yes we know love, We'll not deny love
We'll vote for love wherever it grows


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 25 May 21 - 12:33 PM

Another fine song, Vikki. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: gillymor
Date: 25 May 21 - 12:43 PM

I haven't read everything here but the first two songs posted are absolute gems, well done.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 26 May 21 - 07:42 PM

Thank you very much leeneia and gillymor!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 10 Jun 21 - 04:54 PM

Here you go, Moorley Man...

The Mother’s Story
©~Feb 2012 Vikki Appleton Fielden

Once I had a bonny daughter
Many suitors sought her hand
Pure of heart and fair of face
Her fame it spread throughout the land

chorus:
(Oh) Cold the wind (and) cruel the sea
That carried o’er the sailor lad
Who stole my daughter away from me


One fine day she met a sailor
Bold and handsome, strong & brave
Speaking words as sweet as honey
And to him her heart she gave

chorus

So the wedding bans were posted
And the couple made their plans
Every morning as they walked
Together across the harbour’s sands

chorus

Then one morning, oh so early
A young sailor did appear
Shot my daughter and her lover
While his crew and captain cheered

chorus

Since I lost my bonny daughter
Here in Bedlam I remain
All because she loved a sailor
William Taylor was his name


Written because it seems rather unfair to me that William Taylor's old girl friend shoots the new one (fair enough if she wants to shoot him! ;-) ), as it's highly unlikely the new sweetheart would be aware of the previous one.)

Very rough recording of me singing it here: https://soundcloud.com/user-878817332/the-mothers-story


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 07 Sep 21 - 06:42 PM

Sang this song during the Mudcat Worldwide Sing a few weeks ago, but forgot to post the words here. (As it happens, I've just (as of 31st August) released it as a single – the first time I've actually released something I've written! Which is why I was so busy I forgot to post it here...)

It refers to the old Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times", and explores the idea that there may be more than one kind of "infection" to blame for our current "interesting times".

I wrote it so I could enter it in the 2020 John Birmingham Cup songwriting competiton, which was online and (for the first time) requested that entries be on a specific subject: the year 2020 (it received an honourable mention).

Interesting Times
© Vikki Appleton Fielden, Aug 2020

It's in the air, it's everywhere
My love, we live in interesting times
And anyone at all can share it
Alas, we live in interesting times

SOME are worried, call for change
Others laugh and see no danger

If you got gold, you can buy the news
And facts can be whatever you choose

The world is burnin' up with fevers,
Shakin' with storms and hellish leaders

The real disease ain't nothin' new
It's been around longer than me and you

Friends, the cure we really need
Is for hate and fear and lies and greed

Feeling hopeless? That's too easy
There's work to do, so let's get busy
And let us end these interesting times
There's work to do, so let's get busy
And let us end these interesting times

You can listen to (or even buy ;-) ) the song on Bandcamp – or pretty much any streaming service.

Interesting Times video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFIUB05cR9w
The video of me is from a recording session at Abbey Road Studios in July '21; the graffiti in the video is on a looong wall a few minutes' walk from where I live in Sheffield.

(And while I'm plugging stuff... I may as well mention that I've finally got 'round to doing a website for myself: https://yorkshireyankee.com)

This is the kind of song that's easy to 'update' by adding new verses, so here are some new ones that aren't on the recording:

The PM lies, the press salute
The fields are full of rotting fruit

The NHS is on its knees
The Yanks will buy it, piece by piece

The numbers spike and Twitter sings
The problem here is not the 'ping'

If no-one believes your votes were stolen
Tell Fox News to do some trollin'

The icecaps melt, Australia burns
The forest shrinks, the plague returns

Our troops in Kabul wave goodbye
While those who helped us stay and die


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 08 Sep 21 - 10:07 AM

Good for you, Vikki. That's very hard-hitting.

My own theory about Murdoch and the foxes is that Murdoch is jealous of America. Jealousy is the crazy emotion.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 10 Sep 21 - 10:43 PM

Thanks very much, leeneia!

Interesting theory about Murdoch. My own theory is that he simply doesn't care who he hurts or how much damage he does, as long as he's making money.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 19 Sep 21 - 01:48 AM

I sang this during Monday's (13th Sept) Mudcat Worldwide Sing. It's a fairly new song, just written this past August, about the steel town I now live in and love, and its rich industrial and musical heritage.

Sheffield Sings
©Vikki Appleton Fielden, August 2021

The music of Sheffield begins with the rivers
Porter Brook, Rivelin, Loxley and Sheaf
They meet in the Don and they daily deliver
The power that brought Sheffield glory and grief

chorus
Sheffield sings with mills and mettle
Open hearths and open hearts
Forging songs of love and sorrow
Burnishing the flats and sharps


The music of Shepherd Wheel turns with the story
Of men doubled over to grind Sheffield blades
Crucible steel sounds a fiery new anthem
Tempering tunes and transposing the trades

chorus

The music of war brought a new pride and purpose
Bugles and marching and medals in bronze
Factory girls making bullets and ammo
Stealing the thunder from siren and bomb

chorus

The music of forges and factories faded
Leaving their hallmark on all who remain
But even the silence belongs to the symphony
Soon we'll be singing and blooming again

Sheffield sings with mills and mettle
Open hearths and open hearts
Forging songs of love and sorrow
Burnishing the flats and sharps
Forging songs of love and sorrow
Burnishing the flats and sharps



Rough recording of me singing it here: https://soundcloud.com/user-878817332/sheffield-sings


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 28 Sep 21 - 07:11 PM

In March 2018, Sergei and Yulia Skripal – and a police officer – were hospitalised in Salisbury, UK, after being poisoned with the nerve agent Novichok. (In June, two more people were hospitalised (one of whom died) after finding a discarded perfume bottle which had contained Novichok).

I wrote this parody in September, after UK authorities charged two Russian nationals with the poisoning. These men – and the Russian government – claimed they were being unfairly maligned; they were simply innocent sports nutritionists on holiday, visiting Salisbury in order to see the historic cathedral's famous spire, although they never quite managed to get there. Apparently, they had trouble finding it (even though it's so tall it can be seen from anywhere in the town), zig-zagging all over the city, then abruptly cutting short their visit – because the weather was too nasty (Russians being very unused to harsh weather, natch!).


Are You Going to Salisbury Town?
©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Sept 2018
TTO Scarborough Fair

Are you going to Salisbury town?
Ricin, novichok and strychnine
We look for friend to show us around
He once was a comrade of mine

We come on holiday, just to admire
Ricin, novichok and strychnine
One hundred twenty-three-metre spire
He once was a comrade of mine

Spire much harder to find than we thought
Ricin, novichok and strychnine
We spend two days taking 'special' shortcut
He once was a comrade of mine

Weather so bad we decide not to go
Ricin, novichok and strychnine
Russians not used to half-inch of snow
He once was a comrade of mine

I am a simple man – just ask my wife
Ricin, novichok and strychnine
Sports nutrition is my whole life!
He once was a comrade of mine

This all so silly – what is big fuss?
Ricin, novichok and strychnine
Hey, why you not feel sorry for us?
He once was a comrade of mine

And if you still think we telling you lie
Ricin, novichok and strychnine
Here is good perfume that you must try
He once was a comrade of mine


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 Sep 21 - 11:44 PM

well, done!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 29 Sep 21 - 08:24 PM

Thanks, Sandra!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 02 Oct 21 - 10:36 PM

Thanks for two more fine songs, Vikki.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 09 Oct 21 - 07:02 PM

Thank you very much, leeneia!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Oct 21 - 05:40 PM

Just added this on the Lyr req: Londonderry Air thread, and thought I might as well post it here as well, while I'm at it...

I wrote this one a few years ago (not really sure how long ago, so the date below is a guess), just for fun. Thought of the pun and wrote the rest of the song to make it work; it's in Franglais:

London Derrière
© Vikki Appleton Fielden (~2015?)

When Ah was young
Ah left mah 'ome in gay Paris
Ah crossed La Manche
To leeve in Angleterre
To mah soorpreeze
Zee lovely girls of Lohndohn
Sont tres gentil
Et belle beyond compare

So when Ah go to bed
Mah rose Anglaise
Oh voulez vous
Ahccompahnee me zayre
For zo j'adore
Les jolies filles Francaises
Zere's nossing cahn soorpass
a London derriere

(For those who may not know, "la Manche"("the sleeve") is what the French call the English Channel, Angleterre = England and Anglaise = English woman.)


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Subject: ADD: Sir Gav Gets Hitched (Vikki Appleton Fielden)
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 10 Nov 21 - 07:19 PM

OK, this one needs a bit of background, unless you're already familiar with the plot of Child Ballad 31, "The Marriage of Sir Gawain".

Here's a summary:
Arthur, apparently some day after Christmas, had been encountered at Tarn Wadling, in the forest of Inglewood, by a bold baron armed with a club, who offered him the choice of fighting, or ransoming himself by coming back on New Year's day and bringing word what women most desire. Arthur puts this question in all quarters, and having collected many answers, in which, possibly, he had little confidence, he rides to keep his day. On the way he meets a frightfully ugly woman; she intimates that she could help him. Arthur promises her Gawain in marriage, if she will, and she imparts to him the right answer. Arthur finds the baron waiting for him at the tarn, and presents first the answers which he had collected and written down. These are contemptuously rejected. Arthur then says that he had met a lady on a moor, who had told him that a woman would have her will. The baron says that the misshapen lady on the moor was his sister, and he will burn her if he can get hold of her. Upon Arthur's return he tells his knights that he has a wife for one of them, and they ride with the king to see her, or perhaps for her to make her choice. When they see the bride, they decline the match in vehement terms, all but Gawain, who is somehow led to waive "a little foul sight and misliking." She is bedded in all her repulsiveness, and turns to a beautiful young woman. To try Gawain's compliance further, she asks him whether he will have her in this likeness by night only or only by day. Putting aside his own preference, Gawain leaves the choice to her, and this is all that is needed to keep her perpetually beautiful. For a stepmother had witched her to go on the wild moor in that fiendly shape until she should meet some knight who would let her have all her will. Her brother, under a like spell, was to challenge men either to fight with him at odds or to answer his hard question. (source – and more info – here: http://71.174.62.16/Demo/LongerHarvest?Text=ChildRef_31 – part of an extremely useful index of the Child Ballads by Ed de Moel)

With that out of the way, here are the words for my re-working of Child 31. I call it "Sir Gav Gets Hitched" ;-).

Sir Gav Gets Hitched
©Vikki Appleton Fielden

"Hey Arfur," said his cousin Gav
"You're lookin' kinda down
Is something wrong? What happened when
You partied in Carlisle town?"
"Oh Gavin, you would not believe
The trouble I am in
I got so drunk I made a bet
I don't think I can win

"Some spotty kid harassed me and when
He threw down the gauntlet
I could not resist, and said
I knew what women wan-ted
"I've really no idea, of course
There is no man who does
But I'll be bankrupt if I don't
Give him an answer, cuz"

But Gavin said, "Do not lose hope
No point in being bitter
Just ask your friends – the female ones
On Facebook and on Twitter"
So Arfur took this good advice
And of women did inquire, all
Before he went to bed that night
And of course his post went viral

So many answers did he get
And no two were the same
But one did stand out from the rest
For its author did proclaim,
"I know who asked this question, Guv
I know the answer, too
But I want something in return:
A man who will be true"

Although she looked a little fey
Our man said, "You're in luck
Me cousin Gav's a lovely guy
I'm sure you'll want to... marry!"
She told him just what words to say
And off he went to meet
The spotty kid on New Year's Day
On a dark, deserted street

He tried some other answers first
His cousin for to spare
But in the end it was no use
And so he did declare (big breath)
The thing that women really want
Should not come as a shock, it's
Simply to have their own will –
And dresses that have pockets!

His enemy said things obscene
And proceeded to complain
"I bet my bloody sister snitched
She really is a pain
Although I'm bound to let you go
You now are in her debt
But if I get my hands on her,
Her words she will regret"

Then Arfur and his crew rejoiced
And went to see this dame
With Gav in tow, to be her beau
His passion to proclaim
When they arrived they were surprised
For there in scarlet clad
The bride-to-be they did agree
Was a very lovely lad

Sir Kay exclaimed in great dismay
But Sir Gav said "Don't be cruel.
I think you'll find I'm so inclined
And everything is cool."
The bride did coo "Now will you choose
For what fate am I bound?
A lass by day, and a lad at night –
Or the other way around?"

Then Gav replied "I cannot decide
For I'm happy either way
And was it you I walked beside
At the Pride March Saturday?"
"Oh, yes," they said, "and with those words
You have made things better still,
For you have healed my mother's curse
When you gave me all my will."

And now these two are so in love
It is time to end this tale
Let us all be kind to those we find
And may love never fail
And if someone should ask you what
A woman's heart requires
Just remember that it's pockets in
A dress she most desires

You can hear it here: https://soundcloud.com/user-878817332/sir-gav-gets-hitched-child-ballad-31

Superb medieval-sounding guitar part devised and played by the excellent Lynne Morley.
All other instruments played by the brilliant Jon Loomes, who also engineered the sound.
BIG thanks to Lynne & Jon for making this track sound so fabulously medieval! They're both also on SoundCloud, so do check them out.

Note: This was written for Thank Goodness It's Folk, Sheffield's wonderful local folk radio show, at the request of James Fagan, for their weekly spot which focuses on a different Child Ballad each week (brilliantly named "Friday's Child", because the programme airs every Friday). There are some ballads that have not been recorded much/at all, and/or have some problematic content, so James put out a call to see if anyone could help out by writing/recording new versions (starting with Child 30, "King Arthur and King Cornwall", which resulted in some excellent new songs/interpretations). James suggested I have a go at Child 31 the following week (I think because it's a bit misogynistic), put me in touch with Jon Loomes, and this song was the result.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 12 Nov 21 - 01:30 PM

That's a remarkably complex plot for a ballad. There's nothing wrong with that, I'm just observing.

Vikki, you have touched on a truth which needs more acknowledgement in our world. Women need pockets. I always try to have at least one pocket in my clothes. A breast pocket is so useful to hold the glasses that I take off and put on several times a day. A pants pocket is good for the tissue without which no real lady starts her day.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 12 Nov 21 - 05:20 PM

Thanks, leeneia. It IS a remarkably complex plot for a ballad (which is why the original was 50+ verses). Apparently it was the type of ballad that the professional minstrels did, rather than the punters.

I'm a major fan of pockets myself, so much so that the last time I bought jeans (which had pockets made of material that quickly wore out and developed holes that let through coins and keys, and were so stupidly small that folded money tended to climb out of them), I took them to a seamstress and had them replaced with nice deep pockets made of a nice strong material (the kind that are standard on my husband's trousers). It was well worth it, as they're deep enough that I can get away without carrying a handback most of the time.

That said, I must confess it was my husband who gave me the idea to put the desire for pockets in the song, as when I was working on it I told him it was the ballad with the "what women want" riddle, and he immediately said "Dresses with pockets!". (My husband... I think I'll keep him! ;-) )


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Joe Offer
Date: 12 Nov 21 - 11:05 PM

I've always been a major fan of Gollum in The Hobbit, who referred to them as pocketses.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pocketses


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Nov 21 - 02:43 AM

speaking of pockets, they have been all over Sydney & Australian radio this week since Kaz Cooke released her latest book - You're Doing it Wrong. A history of bad & bonkers advice to women Amongst the questions is this one - As a woman, why can’t I find an item of clothing with real pockets?

Kaz is also on twittter @reallykazcooke

VIDEO: Author Kaz Cooke serves up the ridiculous myths told to women

Back in the 80's my friend's 2 year old daughter demanded pockets in all her clothing, & of course grew into a stylish woman, not a dedicated follower of (transient) fashion, but a woman with her own style & proper pockets in all her clothes!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Nov 21 - 04:25 AM

oops, I forgot to add this Of All the Ways Clothing Is Gendered, Pockets Are the Most Ridiculous


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Nov 21 - 07:48 PM

Great links, Sandra, thank you!

I've checked them all out, and found this very useful resource as well: Dresses With Pockets


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Nov 21 - 11:53 PM

'tis indeed.

one of my current projects it to put patch pockets on my 2 new summer dresses, can't use an in-seam pocket as I did for another summer dress.

Having spent winter wearing pocketed fleece waistcoats, & pocketed jackets, where do I put my tissue, keys or my train ticket? Of course I also have a bag, but why should I dig around every time I need something ...

pockets rule!

so, what's your next song?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 04:10 PM

Good question, Sandra. There are a fair few I've written this year that I've not done anything with yet. The one I think I'll work on next is about when a loved one has dementia. I have the words, but no tune yet. Then again, things come up unexpectedly (as Sir Gav did! Nothing like a deadline to motivate... ;-) )

And Joe, yes; pockets are preciousss!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 06:27 PM

my preciouss! new pocket has a black background with white-eyed grey cartoon cats wandering about lines of grey music, must ask a muso friend to play the tune.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 06:29 PM

Sounds very cool, Sandra.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 06:49 PM

The world is waiting to see the lyrics for Vikki's latest, greatest hit: "Find Every Ballot"!! (or something like that)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Nov 21 - 07:07 PM

latest from our Federal govt is a straight copy from Trump's USA - an attempt to stop "voter fraud" by legislating that voters carry ID. But as we all know Scott Morrison (shown at his best at COP26) was/is? a close friend of Trump.

Fears voter ID laws before Parliament will disenfranchise most vulnerable The Australian Electoral Commission estimates that during the 2019 election, the rate of multiple voting was 0.03 percent ... It told an inquiry into the election that multiple voting is "by and large a very small problem", and usually involves mental health issues rather than deliberate fraud ...

I might mention this ballot problem to songwriting friends.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Nov 21 - 10:37 PM

Thanks, Joe! But it's actually from a year ago...

I wrote this a day or two after the 2020 US presidential election (before Joe had started this thread for me), and stumbled across it yesterday when I was trying to come up with something to sing at my Monday zoom sessions. I'm pretty sure I sang it at one of the Mudcat zooms last November, and in general I try not to repeat songs, but I decided to shamelessly drag it back out, with the excuse that it's (roughly) the anniversary of the events which led to my writing it. ;-)

Find Every Ballot
to the tune of Climb Every Mountain
©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Nov 2020

Find every ballot
Near or remote
Absentee or early
Please count every vote

Find every ballot
Search every poll
Honor every voter
Justice is our goal

A goal we extol
In the land of the free
For it's your right to vote
Though you may not agree... with me.

Expats and soldiers
Black, white and gay
Country folk and city
All deserve their say

Count every ballot
Bring more caffeine
Honor every voter
Justice is our dream


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Nov 21 - 10:47 PM

And while I'm at it...

I wrote this in response to the 2016 US presidential election. It's to the tune of Si Kahn's "Aragon Mill" except for the last verse, which is to the tune of "After the Ball".

What Have We Done?
to the tune of Aragon Mill and After the Ball
©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Nov 2016

On November the 8th, as I try not to weep
The election is close; it's so scary I can't sleep
And the chorus that I hear, now that hatred has won,
Is a sad, worried wail, crying "What have we done?"


Now the polls have shut down; there are tidings of woe
Tell us where can we go, tell us where can we go?
And the chorus that I hear...

All my friends' facebook posts can't believe that it's true
Tell me what will we do, tell me what will we do?
And the chorus that I hear...

And there's no hope at all, just a sense of despair
Once Obama is gone, dear God, how will we fare?
And the chorus that I hear...

In the town of DC, where the sirens are shrill
There's a new head man heading for Capitol Hill...

After the poll is over
After the voters gone
After the years campaigning
Endless commercials on
Many a heart is aching
Many's the anguished soul
Many the hopes that have vanished
After the poll...


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Nov 21 - 11:45 PM

Sandra, Boris Johnson and the Tories are pulling the same s*** here in the UK, even though the incidences of voter fraud here are similarly tiny.

Trump and co have a LOT to answer for.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 Nov 21 - 01:04 AM

I didn't know that, but am I surprised?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 17 Nov 21 - 10:18 PM

Are you surprised?
I don't know... does Trump have a kind bone in his body?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 18 Nov 21 - 02:24 AM

NO


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 12:07 AM

I'd already written a parody of It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To (after the US elections in November 2020; see the first post in this thread), and don't normally write more than one parody to the same tune, but in this case a UK version was just begging to be written...

Background for those who don't live in the UK:
It turns out that last year (2020) while the rest of the UK was in lockdown and celebrating Christmas alone, avoiding parties and not visiting their families – even those in hospitals, dying alone – Boris Johnson and most of the Downing Street crew were having Christmas parties right and left (after wisely but hypocritically ordering the country not to).

When this info started leaking out, of course the first thing Johnson & co did was deny it. However, when photos started emerging, they maintained that they were all "working"– but "just happened to have some wine and cheese on hand" (and a lovely catered buffet!) to keep things cheery.

Although other people who broke the rules and held parties in Dec 2020 ended up receiving very large fines indeed, the Metropolitan Police (a.k.a. "The Met") have declined to investigate this particular breach of the law. The Home Secretary, when asked why not, explained that it was in the past and that the police "don't investigate things that have happened in the past". (I am not making this up!)

The reference to wallpaper is because one of the first things Johnson and his girlfriend (now wife) did, once he was in office, was redecorate No 10 at great expense (for example, £840/~$1,140 per roll of wallpaper, in spite of which the result was not exactly fetching), but it's ok because the taxpayers didn't foot the bill; instead a rich Tory donor paid for it all. We're sure he expects nothing in return.

Party? What Party? I’ll Lie If I Want To
To the tune of It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Dec 2021

I held a party in secret last year,
Thought everything would be fine
Some lousy snitch let everyone know,
Now I’m in trouble, big-time!

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to,
lie if I want to, lie if I want to
You always knew I was lying to you


Covid 19 had been spreading like mad
’Cos I locked down way too late
Why should I care if old people die?
Saves lots of dough for the state

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

I told the peasants to cancel their fun,
Lock down and sit in their homes
Then had a spree with vino and cheese
While masses died all alone

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

There was no party and we broke no rules,
Just wanted colleagues to see
Our new wallpaper and hey, anyway
Rules don’t apply to little me

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...

Can’t understand why you’re all so upset,
Let’s just pretend it’s not true
Please don’t forget to castrate The Met,
Say it’s too old to pursue

It’s my party and I’ll lie if I want to...


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 04:47 PM

another good song!

the site you linked to didn't like Ad-blockers, so I closed the window & went looking using Interior Decorator Ms Google - OMG, I've just wasted at least half an hour of my life I won't get back. A lounge in the same pattern as the wall?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 05:04 PM

Sandra, I know... you couldn't pay me enough to live in that room (then again, £840 per roll of wallpaper might tempt me...).
The mind boggles at how much it must have cost to create something so unattractive.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Jan 22 - 03:14 AM

give me £840 & I'll buy enough rolls of decent patterns for lotsa' houses!!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 02:37 AM

LOL... Indeed!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 30 Jan 22 - 09:19 PM

I've been the guest on a podcast called "Handed Down", talking about "Poor Boy", a song I learned from my mom (so... not a song I've written, but a song I sing, so I'm hoping it "qualifies" for this thread. ;-) )

Here's the description of 'my' episode:
There's a lot going on in this American folk song - a lost love, a fight, jail and a miscarriage of justice. This is a song that has wandered its way around the Southern and Western states of the US and was popularised by Burl Ives. It's found in several versions, including one sung by Vikki Appleton Fielden's mother, which has some unique features. Vikki and I talk about memories of her mother who learned the song at a coffee house and sang it at concerts and family gatherings alike.

We also chat about the joy of singing Broadway songs, folk dancing, being a Yankee in Yorkshire, and what it's really like to record at the iconic Abbey Road Studios.

This is a bumper episode, but it's full of all kinds of interesting stuff. If you want to hear a Bulgarian folk song here's your opportunity. We also get to hear snippets of a couple of Vikki's hilarious parody songs, and a more sober song of modern times.

But can you solve the mystery of the song's bridge? It can't be found anywhere on the internet, so where is it from? Send us a tweet if you know! @handeddownpod


It's hosted by Jenny Shaw, who is knowledgeable, a lovely singer herself and a good interviewer. The podcast started in Sept '21 and you can find the other episodes here: "Handed Down"


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 08:11 PM

We Zoom
To the tunes of Blue Moon and (last verse) The Parting Glass
new words by Vikki Appleton Fielden, written for the occasion of The 100th Mudcat Worldwide Sing

We zoom... sing a song, play a tune
From our different rooms
As we banish the gloom

We zoom... we know just what we are here for
It is the music we cheer for
And that we open our ears for

And now one hundred times we've met together
To have a laugh and sing a song
And many are the themes we've weathered
They keep our community strong

We zoom... sing a song, play a tune
From our different rooms
As we banish the gloom

Of all the songs on zoom I've crooned
I've sung them in good company
You lovely lot have kept me sane (nearly!)
Amidst the lockdown lunacy
We meet each week, from near and far
We talk and laugh and have a ball
Mudcatters are an act that's class
My thanks, and joy be with you all


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 09:05 PM

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace
to the tune of Buckingham Palace (lyrics by A. A. Milne, music by Harold Fraser-Simson)
new words written by Vikki Appleton Fielden to commemorate Queen Elizabeth's Platinum (70 years) Jubilee in June 2022


They're changing guard at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
The Queen put on the Royal Crown
"It's time for a party in London Town," Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
The Red Arrows flew and everyone cheered.
"And Louis made faces and covered his ears" Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
The Queen had tea with Paddington Bear.
"But why weren't Pooh and Piglet there?" Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
Boris and Carrie were met with boos
"Winnie the Pooh would've booed him too," Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
Remember the parties at number 10.
"Time for a different PM then," Says Alice.

The Jubilee's at Buckingham Palace -
Christopher Robin went down with Alice.
The Queen put on the Royal Crown
"They all love a party in London Town," Says Alice.

========

Notes/References:
Photos of 6-yr-old Prince Louis making faces & covering his ears as the Red Arrows fly overhead

Video of the Red Arrows Flypass Over Buckingham Palace

Absolutely charming video of Queen Elizabeth having tea with Paddington Bear


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jul 22 - 09:16 PM

Nobody Coming to Hire Me
to the tune of Nobody Coming to Marry Me (a.k.a. "The Hedger & Ditcher Song")
New words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden (can't remember when I wrote this; maybe ten years ago...)

   My father's a graphic designer
   my mother does nothing but shop
   I'm brilliant at media studies
   But still I cannot get a job
        Oh dear, what shall become of me
        Oh dear, what shall I be
        There's nobody coming to hire me
        No-one to read my CV

   I took 27 A-levels
   I put them all on my CV
   That ought to be bloody impressive
   So what if I only passed three

   I thought if I went to the Uni
   and learned to sleep late and drink beer
   That's all I would need for to find me
   A well-paying, easy career

   Oh, must I die on the dole
   Oh dear, how shocking the thought
   There's nobody coming to hire me
   Surely it's not me own fault

   But even tho I lack employment
   And worked me poor fingers to bone
   At end of the story I'm laughin'
   Cos I'll never pay off me loan

Folkie verse:
   My father's a mandolin player
   my mother does nothing but sing
   I've got a degree in folk music
   So why does the phone never ring
        Oh dear, what shall become of us
        Why can't we make it big
        There's nobody coming to hire us
        No-one to give us a gig


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 19 Jul 22 - 08:26 PM

Ice Cream Weather
©199? Vikki Appleton Fielden
Not sure when I wrote this; it was during a heatwave in the 90's when I was living in the Detroit area.

A very rough recording can be heard here: Ice Cream Weather

Now the days are hot and humid
and the air is thick and damp
At night I sit in darkness,
Cos it's too hot with a lamp
And it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather (get other singers to echo this line while you hold the last note/syllable of the previous line)
Yes, it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather

Every hour's long and lazy
All I wanna do is sit
With a scoop of cold and creamy
Roll my tongue all over it
Cos it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather
Yes, it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather

Don't wanna walk, or move, or talk
Or read or sleep or soothe or sigh
Feelin' a slow small salty drop of sweat
Silently crawl from my neck to my thigh

Got a million things need doin'
But they won't get done today
Today's a day for wastin'
Watch the minutes melt away
Cos it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather
Yes, it's ice cream weather...
Ice cream weather
Ice cream weather... (everyone together on this last line)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 02 Sep 22 - 07:26 PM

In memoriam of the wonderful Lisa Null, I adapted a simple American song that felt appropriate. I call it Lisa's Freight Train.

Lisa's Freight Train
to the tune of Freight Train by Elizabeth Cotten
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, July 2022

Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Freight train, freight train, run so fast
While that old train speeds along
Let us sing my joyful song


Sing and dream from dusk to dawn
Charlie helps me carry on
Now I'm dead my songs live on
And my pain is finally gone

Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Freight train, freight train, run so fast
While that old train speeds along
Let us sing my joyful song


While I lived I sang my songs
Sang them loud and sang them strong
Asked the world to sing along
Share my song when I am gone

Freight train, freight train, run so fast
Freight train, freight train, run so fast
While that old train speeds along
We will sing my final song
While that old train speeds along
Let us sing my joyful song


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 02 Sep 22 - 07:32 PM

This one is in response to more sad news: the passing of Juel Ulven – another extraordinary folkie who shared his love of folk music and touched countless lives.

I adapted an old trad song (because Juel loved old trad songs) in his honour. The festival referred to in the song is the Fox Valley Folk Festival, which takes place in a lovely park on an island in the Fox River, and was one of countless folk projects founded by Juel.

His Name Was Juel
to the tune of The Galway Shawl
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, August 2022

At Lake Geneva in old Kane County
On a pleasant island one autumn day
I spied a fellow behind the sound desk
His lovely festival took my breath away

His name was Juel, he was a diamond
He shared his music with one and all
Now all Fox Valley mourn his finale
Though no one knows how he did it all

He brought us singing, barn dances, stories
He taught so many to love them too
Though we will miss him, his lines will linger
The gifts he gave us will see us through

His name was Juel, he was our diamond
His gift of music did us enthrall
Now all Fox Valley mourn his finale
But we'll remember what he gave us all


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 03 Sep 22 - 01:40 PM

Hi, Vikki. Those are great songs all, but my favorite is 'Ice Cream Weather.' I have an electric scooter that needed to run some, so yesterday the DH and I went for ice cream at 3 in the afternoon - a totally unheard of thing for us to do.

Once I read a book about death in the family, written by a hospital chaplain. She said that if a child loses a parent, take the child out for ride and then have ice cream. Pay no attention to family strictures on what to eat. Ice cream is for comfort.
======
I also like your line, "His name was Juel, he was our diamond."


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 04 Sep 22 - 12:59 AM

Thanks very much, leeenia.

Are you familiar with Galway Shawl? If so, you'll know that the original line was "She wore no jewels, no fancy diamonds".


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: HuwG
Date: 07 Sep 22 - 03:45 PM

I have just finished reading "The Steal" by Mark Bowden and Matthew Teague (Grove Press UK, ISBN 9781611854299)

Yorkshire Yankee's lyrics seem remarkably restrained.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Sep 22 - 06:45 PM

Well, Huw, they were written within days of the event, when we knew just a fraction of what we know now...

Sounds like a very interesting (and chilling) book.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: Mo the caller
Date: 14 Sep 22 - 05:22 PM

Just read the comments about pockets.
I agree, but what gets me mad is the fact that men can have shoes the shape of their feet, and most of those sold for women are anything but.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 14 Sep 22 - 07:44 PM

Amen Mo!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 16 Oct 22 - 12:52 AM

Lillibet's Gone
to the tune of Lavender's Blue
new words ©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Sept 2022

Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly
Lavender's green
There's a new King, dilly, dilly
We've lost our Queen

How many years, dilly dilly
Did our Liz reign?
70 years dilly dilly
Somehow stayed sane

What happens now, dilly dilly
Now that she's gone?
Charlie is King dilly dilly
He'll carry on

With his true love dilly dilly
Here's the report
Camilla dear, dilly dilly
Is Queen Consort

How will you mourn dilly dilly?
Watch BBC
Nothing else on dilly dilly
But royalty

Summer is past, dilly, dilly
Swifts on the wing
Lillibet's gone, dilly, dilly
God save the King


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 17 Oct 22 - 08:27 AM

> men can have shoes the shape of their feet

My first thought on seeing that was "Winklepickers", but at least wearing those was a style choice. Standing by for corrections on whether they were available in a double-E width.

I hereby nominate "winklepickers" as the Naughty Word of the Week.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 26 Oct 22 - 04:22 PM

This song was inspired by the political turmoil I'm seeing in both of my "home" countries – the US and the UK. Political disagreements are driving friends and families apart. How do we find a way to talk about these things without calling each other stupid and/or evil? How do we find a way "home" – to a place where we see the people we disagree with as friends and family, rather than enemies?

A very rough recording can be heard here: How Do We Find a Way Home?

How Do We Find a Way Home?
©Vikki Appleton Fielden, Oct 2022

You work hard all bloody week
Still can't pay for food and heat
Is your life much better now?
Honestly, please tell me how.

How do we find?
How do we find?
How do we find a way home?
How do we find?
How do we find?
How do we find a way home?


(I) love my country and I love my kids
That's why I voted the way I did
(But) now I'm worried we're out of control
Yelling at each other and digging a hole

Chorus

Can you be smart yet swallow lies?
Can you live with a compromise?
(We) jumped off a bridge without a net
Now, can you forgive? Can I forget?

If I leave my pride behind,
Is it safe to change my mind?
If I admit that I was wrong,
Am I weak or am I strong?


If I don't say what you want to hear,
Will you listen? Will you care?
Will you mock and watch me fall?
If you do, God help us all.

Chorus
Repeat last line


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 05 Feb 23 - 11:59 PM

I wrote this song back in the 90's; I was attending Augusta College's (in West Virginia) wonderful Vocal Week, and taking a songwriting class led by Bob Franke. He went around the room asking people what they wanted to get from the class; when it was my turn, I said that I had a tendency to write songs that were clever and wordy, and I'd like to write something simple and moving. "Write something from a child's point of view," he said. This was the result.

As a kid, I did actually climb onto a step-stool and drop a jar full of peanut butter to see if it would break (it's "jelly" in the song because "peanut butter" was too many syllables). I had seen the word "shatterproof" on the label, and – not clear on the distinction between "shatterproof" and "unbreakable" – been wondering about it for months, thinking "It sure looks like it would break!" Finally, one afternoon when Mom wasn't home, I decided I had to test it out. When it broke, I was quite disappointed, and decided it was just another case of false advertising.

When she got home, Mom was pretty good about it: "Vikki, why? she asked.

"It said shatterproof!" I complained.

She left it at that. Thanks Mom!

As usual, a very rough recording can be heard on SoundCloud: Hold On Tight

Hold On Tight
©~1992? Vikki Appleton Fielden

After Mom and Dad have tucked me in at night
I sneak out a book and find my old flashlight
Or I lie real quiet 'cos my dolls watch me
They wait to walk and talk until I'm fast asleep

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so


Mom buys jelly in a jar that's shatterproof
But the label doesn't really tell the truth
I stood on a chair and let the jelly fall
Now it's on the floor and on the kitchen wall

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so


Yesterday at recess in a dodgeball game
Girls against the boys, it always ends the same
Katherine, the shyest one, was standing quietly
Jimmy whipped the ball and hit her right below the knees
Kathy fell onto her knees and never made a sound
Hands pressed to her mouth and the tears rollin' down
Daddy says that cryin' is a baby thing to do
But if it was me, I know that I'd cry too

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so


Did you ever dream that when the sun goes down
Gravity is gone and you can't reach the ground?
Everything gets smaller as you float away
Higher up and higher till you're lost in outer space

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so


Mama runs her fingers through my hair
Daddy doesn't like to see me cry
I know they love me, but
I don't know why

Now I see you drifting far away from me
Should I hold on tight or should I let you be
Hold me in your arms and tell me not to cry
and we will pretend that everything's all right

Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so
Hold on tight, don't let go
It's all right, Mama told me so


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 13 Jul 24 - 08:11 PM

A bit late; didn't realise I hadn't posted this one yet...

You're So Indicted
TTO I'm so Excited
new words by Vikki Appleton Fielden, 8 Aug 2023

Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen
Tonight we'll make sure you end up inside
Give up this time and try some introspection
We're goin' to take measures; you'll be fried

We want to hold you
Jail you
Wrap the law around you
Want to squeeze you
Tease you
Till you've had enough
And if you move too slow
Won't let you go...

You're so indicted
You just can't hide it
You already lost control and you can't abide it
You're so indicted
You just can't hide it
And we know
We know
We know
We know
We're gonna taunt you
Haunt you

You shouldn't even think about tomorrow
Your villainy is vast, so are your crimes
You're such a big crybaby, but don't worry
We'll make sure that
You finally do some time

You're so indicted
You just can't hide it
You already lost control and you can't abide it
You're so indicted
You just can't hide it
And we know
We know
We know
We know
We're gonna haunt you
Haunt you

Video here


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 19 Aug 24 - 12:27 AM

In honour of Kamala Harris inviting Tim Walz to join her on the Democratic ticket:

Walzing With Tim
TTO Walzing With Bears
by Vikki Appleton Fielden © Aug 2024        

She went to his state in the middle of July
And then the campaign it was ready to fly
For even though T and co try to deny
You have to admit Tim’s an excellent guy

They made up some lies and said Tim was no good
That he left the Guard before he really should
But all those who know him say he never could
And women prefer him to a bear in the woods

Wa-wa-wa wa-wa-wa walzing with Tim
Charming, disarming, alarming T’s crew
There’s nothing a weirdo like Donald can do
To keep us from walzing, wa-wa-wa-walzing
Keep us from walzing, walzing with Tim.


Now T’s picked a peach to be his loyal Veep
A man who thinks cat ladies' lives are all bleak
And if you are childless you must be a freak
Can’t wait to hear who he’ll be dissing next week

T begged and he pleaded for Biden to go
And then when he did T said “Say it ain’t so!"
And says that it's cheating, well what do you know?
Who could have predicted a fit he would throw?

Wa-wa-wa wa-wa-wa walzing with Tim
Charming, disarming, alarming T’s crew
There’s nothing a weirdo like Donald can do
To keep us from walzing, wa-wa-wa-walzing
Keep us from walzing, walzing with Tim.


Tim said T was weird, which made poor Donny fret
I think poor old Don is beginning to sweat
And even becoming a trifle upset
Let's teach him a Walz he will never forget

Wa-wa-wa wa-wa-wa walzing with Tim
Charming, disarming, alarming T’s crew
There’s nothing a weirdo like Donald can do
To keep us from walzing, wa-wa-wa-walzing
Keep us from walzing, walzing with Tim.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: leeneia
Date: 21 Aug 24 - 12:56 PM

Thanks for the songs, Vikki. Such intelligent observations decorated with clever rhymes.

Your story about dodgeball reminds me of how, when I got the chance, I signed up for swim rather than P.E. for six semesters. In swim class nobody throws anything at you.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 29 Aug 24 - 04:26 PM

Thank you so much, leeneia! That's very kind.

As for signing up for swimming instead of P.E. – very wise!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 31 Aug 24 - 04:44 PM

Just realised this parody is not already in this thread (though it is on Mudcat).

Grey Flannel Line
(a sewing chantey by Carol Tawney, "discovered" by Vikki Appleton Fielden around 2002)

I work my shift, day after day
Sew thermal undies, all in grey
Perhaps pyjamas, now and then
But then it's back to kecks again
It's one more day on the grey flannel line

Don't mind the grain nor an open seam
A button fly never worries me
But the dullest time in a boring day
Is to watch the knickers roll away
It's one more day on the grey flannel line

No silks or satins do I sew
Them pants and vests, they come and go
Even when corsets roll on by
It's still so boring I could cry
Just one more stay on the grey flannel line

Oh Lord, if dreams were only real
I'd get my hands on some satin teal
Make racy shreds to help me score
And work the grey flannel line no more


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 23 Sep 24 - 03:08 PM

New song, inspired by a theme of "kettles" ("assigned" by a weekly zoom I participate in).
I've used the tune from the children's rhyme Polly Put the Kettle On, but sort of switched around; the verses are the B part of the tune and the choruses are the (better-known) A part.

A bit of background, for those not familiar with "kettling":
Defined as "confinement by police of a group of demonstrators or protesters in a small area, as a method of crowd control", this can be a rather brutal tactic, as it can last for many hours and the people inside the police cordon usually have no access to food, water or toilets (I read of an instance where one desperate person resorted to peeing where they stood, and was then arrested for public indecency). The tactic is supposed to be used when crowds are getting out of hand, but has more than once been used on protestors who were completely peaceful (the 'justification' being that they were 'protecting' the peaceful demonstrators by preventing not-so-peaceful others from joining them).

These cordons also often end up containing people who happened to be passing by and had nothing to do with the protest. In one particularly notable case, "Ian Tomlinson, a newspaper seller who had been trying to find a route home past police cordons forming kettles around the Bank of England, was pushed to the ground by a Met officer... Tomlinson, a father of nine, posed no threat... [and] collapsed and died less than three minutes later..." (This quote is from a 2011 Guardian article: "A history of police kettling".)

Kettling has been less in the news lately, but the British government has continued to chip away at the right to peaceful protest; as just one example, the Policing Act bill of 2022 includes usefully vague prohibitions on being "disruptive" and "noisy" which in effect allow police to make it up as they go along... (More info on that bill here)

Bobby* Put the Kettle On
TTO Polly Put the Kettle On (verse = B part; chorus = A part)
Vikki Appleton Fielden ©22/9/24

Polly went to London Town
Saw a protest going down
Ended up inside a ring
Couldn’t leave for anything

Bobby he will kettle you, kettle you, kettle you
Bobby he will kettle you
You’ll get no tea


Couldn’t eat or drink or pee
But the coppers all agree
They were just ‘protecting’ her
Should the very worst occur

Bobby he will kettle you, kettle you, kettle you
Bobby he will kettle you
You’ll get no tea


Ian was in London too
Tried to find a pathway through
But a bobby knocked him down
Now he’s dead and in the ground

Bobby he will kettle you, kettle you, kettle you
Bobby he will kettle you
You’ll get no tea


Pay attention girls and boys
(For) if you’re making too much noise
Even if you’re peaceful now
They can say you’re not allowed

Bobby he will kettle you, kettle you, kettle you
Bobby he will kettle you
You’ll get no tea

Forget your tea
Goodbye tea

*In the UK, "Bobby" = policeman — a nickname (along with "peeler") inspired by British PM Robert Peel, who set up London's Metropolitan Police Force in 1829 and is considered the father of modern British policing.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Sep 24 - 07:24 PM

Gosh, that's awful, Vikki. I had no idea.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 30 Sep 24 - 05:09 PM

Thanks, Guest! Are you someone I know?


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 30 Sep 24 - 05:38 PM

Here's a song I had forgotten about (until it showed up in my fb memories last week), inspired by reading that apparently "The Rapture" was supposed to happen on Sept 24 2017.

AFTER THE RAPTURE
Vikki Appleton Fielden ©Sept 24 2017

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand


For so many years, I've heard stories of miracles
I know that the chosen will all disappear
The faithful are waiting for Lord Jesus' summoning
And after the Rapture, it'll all become clear

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand


They say that the endtime will be hell on earth
But I cannot help thinking it won't be that bad
When so many Christian fanatics evaporate
The rest of us left here might not be that sad

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand


Goodbye Jerry Falwell, so long Oral Roberts
Farewell Billy Graham and all of your kind
The world will be gentler without your lot in it
To stir up the hatred you find so divine

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand


Imagine the world without fine Christian zealots
The ones who oppress in the Lord Jesus' name
If God should deliver us from sweet Christian malice
Then glory hallelujah! I'll gladly proclaim

After the Rapture, oh won't it be wonderful
After the Rapture, won't it be grand
After the Rapture, oh won't it be heavenly
After the Rapture, we'll all understand


BTW, to my Christian friends: this song is *not* directed at *all* Christians – just the ones who use the excuse of their religion as a stick with which to beat those they disagree with/disapprove of.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Songs of the Yorkshire Yankee
From: YorkshireYankee
Date: 15 Oct 24 - 06:15 PM

Another parody I wrote a while ago — a sort of updating of The Blacksmith.

A Goldsmith Courted Me
to the tune of The Blacksmith
Vikki Appleton Fielden © ~Aug 2015

A goldsmith courted me nine months and better
He defo won my heart, tagged me on twitter
With his hammer in his hand, without his kit, love
And so I saved his pic, 'cos he looked so fit, love

Strange news on facebook now about my lover
Strange news is all around, he loves another
I wish them both much joy; no, I'm not bitter
But they're in for a surprise when they look at Twitter

Don't you remember when we lay together
You said you loved me so, and would forever
If I said that I love you, it was only for to bed you
So bring your witness love, and perhaps I'll wed you

Oh, witness have I none, but on my mobile
That pic you sexted me just might go viral
Well if it does, my dear, though I don't mean to fright you
I've pictures of my own which may not delight you

A goldsmith courted me nine months and better
He fairly won my heart, tagged me on Twitter.
He turned out to be a lout who did not wish to anchor
But even worse than that, He was a... banker*


*Note for non-UK folks: "banker" rhymes with/is often used as a euphemism for "wanker"


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