Worst song you have ever heard?

Subject: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 30 Apr 21 - 11:30 PM

Hi all,

I know this will spark up some "interesting" discussions, but I was at a cafe and heard this song.

Personally, I'd be prepared to say it is - this is my opinion only! - the worst song I have ever heard:

Beat Happening - "Other Side"

To explain, my personal preference criteria always revolve around musical elements like melody, harmony if any, musical arrangements, accompaniment, rhythm, the instruments which are used in the piece etc.

I rarely relate initially to lyrics unless I like the music to start with and listen enough to "get" the lyrics.

(Note: I am dyslexic. That may or may not explain why I have trouble hearing lyrics, so don't even think about having a go at me about leaving lyrics out of my personal criteria. Like Popeye, I yam what I yam.) LOL

So that song comes at the top of my awful list. In my opinion, it is boring, repetitive, the singing is flat, and the accompaniment is very mechanical and unmusical. Out of all that, singing below pitch probably ticks my "worst" category the most.

Feel free to disagree with me, but I'd also be interested in what you consider to be the worst song you have every heard and how you made that decision.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 01 May 21 - 01:21 AM

sounds ok to me,,

average enogh for indie, nothing special, but certainly not amongst the worst..

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jos
Date: 01 May 21 - 02:52 AM

I wouldn't go overboard with the criticisms. It's dull and dreary. I don't hate it but I would be happy never to hear it again.

For me, the worst song ever is 'Sunshine Mountain'.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 01 May 21 - 03:11 AM

Jos, I haven't heard that song. Is it this one:

'Sunshine Mountain'

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jos
Date: 01 May 21 - 03:37 AM

Yes, that's the one.
Whenever I have come across it, it would be in a room or pub full of people. One person would stand on a chair and sing until they got to "You and I". They would then point to another person, while repeating "You and I", until that person stood on a chair and the song would be repeated with them both pointing to a victim. This would be repeated until everyone was standing on a chair - even those who obviously didn't want to join in were forced to, by being pointed at and harangued by the whole crowd, who would not stop until they triumphed.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 01 May 21 - 03:47 AM

Oh my! I think I would start slinking towards the door as soon as I heard the first line.

My experience of The Other Side song is not as bad as that. It is just on a repeat playlist at a cafe we visit a lot, so in the last few months I've heard it way more than I want to. It's made worse by being partially drowned out by surrounding noises so the only words I hear repeated ad nauseum are "the other side, the other side...." in that droning toneless voice.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 01 May 21 - 04:09 AM

For me, the worst song is the one that is being played over the supermarket tannoy. I don't care if it is the best song ever written - I don't want to hear it while I am shopping. Context is everything.

DC

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 01 May 21 - 04:41 AM

The worst songs to me are the ones which seem to involve somebody banging 4-in-a-bar on a big cardboard box in the back of a boy-racer mobile.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 01 May 21 - 04:51 AM

Or, fat B****rd, when there is only one melody line repeated every single line of the song. I keep saying to my Hubby that I wonder whether some young people even know what music is.

I must be getting old. :-)

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 01 May 21 - 05:09 AM

Sorry, I should narrow the field of the young people I was referring to when I said " I wonder whether some young people even know what music is". I mean the ones who listen to the current popular genres where the music appears to be electronically generated or manipulated, and the beat is repetitive and the vocalist seems to be talking more than singing.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 May 21 - 06:11 AM

That bloody McCartney frog one. Now come on, people...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 01 May 21 - 06:42 AM

' You're Gorgeous ' when I was working inside, the Radio was always on a pop station [ keep the morons happy ] and this bloody thing seemed to get played every other song. fucking hated it, still do.

Dave H

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Lighter
Date: 01 May 21 - 07:11 AM

"Jingle Bell Rock."

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 01 May 21 - 07:19 AM

Phew!....got away with that one!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: GUEST
Date: 01 May 21 - 07:29 AM

The worst songs to me are the ones which seem to involve somebody banging 4-in-a-bar on a big cardboard box in the back of a boy-racer mobile.

We used to go to the theatre with a friend, then in his 80s. One evening a car went past as we were waiting to cross the road, with the bodywork going "boom, boom, boom...".

Reg watched it pass, then said "My grandson's got that tune in his car".

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 01 May 21 - 08:03 AM

I listened to the two songs that were highlighted. The first struck me a neutral I didn't like, or dislike it. Sunshine Mountain really is terrible. It reminds me of some of the patronizing kids songs they made us sing when I was dragged to Sunday School. I, personally, feel like leaving the area, or changing the station when I hear the disco classic Celebrate. As soon as the phrase "come on" happens I wish I were elsewhere. Another nomination from me would be that horrible song justifying William Calley's Vietnam massacre that was on the radio in the early 1970's.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: GUEST,Roderick a. Warner
Date: 01 May 21 - 09:40 AM

With so much good music to listen to (for me, anyway) difficult to think of bad stuff. ‘Little Boxes’ might fit the bill, patronising dreck. Anything by Pete Seeger. Or drippy Paxton songs.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: The Sandman
Date: 01 May 21 - 09:47 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-t7lH0Uzu0

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 May 21 - 10:09 AM

Songs I would get up to skip on vinyl include Wimoweh and Scarlet Ribbons. Kansas City and Who killed cock robin I could skip when putting the record on as they were first.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Daniel Kelly
Date: 01 May 21 - 10:23 AM

"Anything by Pete Seeger"

Surely you jest Sir, the man was a treasure to humanity.

The worst song to me is any song where the singer's ego vastly outstrips their talent.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 01 May 21 - 10:23 AM

I don't quite understand, Dick. As you have linked, without comment, to a 53 minute film, are you putting forward a particular song (e.g. 'Ground Hog', used in the opening sequence) or Appalachian music in general as examples of the worst song you have ever heard?

DC

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 May 21 - 11:01 AM

A blatantly subjective topic like this doesn't really belong in the Music section, it is guaranteed to offend people and start squabbles.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 01 May 21 - 11:10 AM

Above the line, surely?

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: gillymor
Date: 01 May 21 - 11:19 AM

The one Neil Diamond performed on The Last Waltz. If ever a performer and a song were out of place...

Also I agree about "Little Boxes". Snotty, elitist tripe.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 01 May 21 - 11:37 AM

A blatantly subjective topic like this doesn't really belong in the Music section

Nonsense! What is the point of a Music section, if you can't discuss music there?

DC

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 May 21 - 11:50 AM

It's an invitation to gore oxen, not "discuss."

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 01 May 21 - 12:31 PM

If you do a search on "worst", you will find a whole host of threads above the line, covering things like 'worst singing accent', 'worst instrument', 'worst single line', 'worst country & western title', 'worst performance', 'worst cover' and many more.

Each of these would have been subjective but they remain in the music section. What makes this thread any different?

DC

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: The Sandman
Date: 01 May 21 - 12:51 PM

i put it up because it is a wonderful film and i thought someome should be positive in this thread

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Raggytash
Date: 01 May 21 - 01:03 PM

Just about anything I have ever written!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jeri
Date: 01 May 21 - 01:34 PM

It's music, but it's also BS.
It's also definitely trolling. You ever wonder why nobody seems to like discussing things they CARE about?
Maybe it's because someone else will come in and rip it up, because that's what Mudcatters enjoy. If people on the web are into folk music (maybe), and fighting about it, Mudcat is where they come.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 01 May 21 - 02:52 PM

Phil Cooper, there is a situation in a very good documentary series which was produced by and aired on Australian ABC TV. It's called The Recording Studio . There was an episode where a group of people sang Celebrate, and then the song Happy to an older man who has made a massive amount of blood donations over 60 years which have save the lives of over 2 million unborn babies because he has a particular blood characteristic which counteracts the Rhesus factor in pregnancy.

Instead of choosing a song which the man liked or could relate to, the mostly young people in the group/choir sang Celebrate, and Happy and the man looked bewildered and then a little pained, but the good intentions of the choir overtook the poor choices of songs.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 01 May 21 - 03:00 PM

Also, in starting this thread I thought that by discussing the elements of songs which don't do it for us, we can also focus on the elements which do make a song great, in the opinion of each of us.

So as a counterpoint to my initial suggestion of a worst song, this is my suggestion for a beautiful, and brilliantly arranged song:

AU Abdel Gadir Salim - Bassama

For me it is one of those songs which stops me in my tracks. I love the melody, the singing, the instruments, the rhythm, the emotion, the way the music builds as the song progresses, and yet I have no idea what the lyrics are because it is in Arabic.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 01 May 21 - 03:01 PM

... it is a wonderful film and i thought someome should be positive in this thread

Yes, I agree about the film but, as it is thread about the worst song you have ever heard, it would have helped if you had said that you were presenting a positive aspect. I am easily confused.

It seems to me that you often start threads with links without comment. Sometimes they can be interesting but often I am left wondering why the topic has been raised or, at least, why it is significant at that time. It would help an old guy out if you could give some sort of clue.

DC

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: meself
Date: 01 May 21 - 03:38 PM

"My Way". No explanation needed.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 01 May 21 - 04:04 PM

Yes. No explanation needed.

However I have heard one version which I can listen to. I know a lot of people don't like the Gipsy Kings but I love their instrumental prowess and arrangements and rhythm and feeling/passion for the music.

A Mi Manera [My Way]

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Lighter
Date: 01 May 21 - 04:10 PM

Wot, no gangsta rap titles?

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 01 May 21 - 04:16 PM

Yeah, well, how much time do you have? LOL

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 May 21 - 06:40 PM

Maybe I'll vote for God Bless America as the worst song ever written. It certainly irritated Woody:

Woody was irritated by Irving Berlin's "God Bless America," sung by Kate Smith, which seemed to be endlessly playing on the radio in the late 1930s. So irritated, in fact, that he wrote this song as a retort, at first sarcastically calling it "God Blessed America for Me" before renaming it "This Land Is Your Land."

So the worst song ever inspired one of the best songs ever. I like it!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 01 May 21 - 07:20 PM

Oops! Phil Cooper, I just realised that the Celebrate song I was thinking of is different to the one you mentioned.

The one I meant is called Praise You, by Fatboy Slim:

We've come a long long way together
Through the hard times and the good
I have to celebrate you baby
I have to praise you like I should

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Lighter
Date: 01 May 21 - 08:17 PM

Woody never heard gangsta rap.

Or "Jingle Bell Rock."

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 May 21 - 09:13 PM

Lucky boy Woody! :-)

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 02 May 21 - 03:27 AM

Thanks, Helen, for the introduction to Abdul Gadir Salim - marvellous.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 02 May 21 - 04:16 AM

Thanks Rusty Dobro.

I have had a 3 CD set called Africa Never Stand Still since it was released in the early '90's and I've listened to them a lot over the decades, but not so much recently. When I played the CD's again I was reminded how much I love that song, but there are a lot of other tracks in the set which are also outstanding.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: The Sandman
Date: 02 May 21 - 07:11 AM

summer holiday by cliff pilchard

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 May 21 - 07:16 AM

It's all a question of taste. Absolutely no point in discussing and will only cause animosity as someone's favourite is slagged off by someone else.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 02 May 21 - 07:45 AM

Amen, Dave.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 02 May 21 - 07:57 AM

DtG - Precisely..

It's clearly evident from some expected obvious nominated records
that so many old mudcat folkies
have had a far too restricted exposure to wider music than their own narrow preferences...

As always, lazy ignorance breeds snobbery and prejudice...

.. they have no idea of what truly terrible songs are lurking in the record collections
of music lovers who have listened mote extensively to a much wider range of music...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: JHW
Date: 02 May 21 - 08:03 AM

Checked I hadn't already posted this. At some folk club with a upstairs room accessed like a loft someone sang something so bad that I left mid-song. Something I have never done ever before or since. What song? No idea, not worth remembering.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Malcolm Storey
Date: 02 May 21 - 08:49 AM

Anything by the Pretenders - even if it might be a decent song!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 May 21 - 09:08 AM

Thanks for illustrating my point so well, Malcolm. I don't know if your post was tongue in cheek. I don't have any axe to grind for or against the Pretenders. It doesn't matter. In one short sentance you may have alienated or upset people who are big fans on the Pretenders. Personal tastes are strange and, well, personal!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: The Sandman
Date: 02 May 21 - 09:44 AM

well it does not have to be just a question of taste.
for example a badly performed recording could qualify even if it was a well written song originally.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jos
Date: 02 May 21 - 09:54 AM

Anything by the BeeGees. It's not their fault, but they trigger my synaesthesia and it makes me feel very queezy.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 May 21 - 09:59 AM

Even some badly performed stuff will have it fans, Dick. At the risk of going against my own earlier advice, look at the Sex Pistols! :-D

Jos - Is it all BeeGees stuff or just their later falsetto Disco stuff? I found their earlier recordings such as The New York Mining disaster or the 1st of May quite good but was not a fan of Night Fever or Staying alive.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: The Sandman
Date: 02 May 21 - 10:05 AM

yes you are correct

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: gillymor
Date: 02 May 21 - 10:18 AM

I don't think people here are as fragile as you guys make them out to be. I like some of the Pretenders music but I'm not going to collapse in a heap because someone else doesn't.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jos
Date: 02 May 21 - 10:18 AM

DtG. First of May is OK. The falsetto stuff is definitely not.
Mostly it's the harmonies that are the problem.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 02 May 21 - 10:21 AM

Great examples of 'marmite' records which defy normal consevative standards of best or worst...

one


two


three

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 May 21 - 10:24 AM

I know, gillymor, but we have had many instances of people flying of the handle because one of their Gods had been criticised - Just look at some of the Ewan MacColl threads!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 02 May 21 - 03:20 PM

He took a sacred word, repeated it over and over again in an ordinary pop song, and made a fortune - Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah".

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 02 May 21 - 04:36 PM

My CD collection includes large swathes of Vivaldi, and also Bach, Bruch, Liszt, Handel, lots of classical music, The Chieftains, Derek Bell, Alan Stivell, Máire Ní Chathasaigh, Louis Armstrong, Billie Holliday, Fats Waller, Nina Simone, lots of swing music, Dixieland music, Tim O'Brien, Vin Garbutt, Elizabethan and Mediaeval music, Gipsy Kings, Mahalia Jackson, African music, including a recent discovery Dawda Jobarteh, Angélique Kidjo, Miriam Makeba, Captain Matchbox, Donovan, Tom Waits, Archie Roach, Patti Smith, Radiohead, The Sex Pistols, The Pogues, Stone Temple Pilots, Gorillaz, The Divinyls, The Specials, The Kransky Sisters, Cold Chisel, Led Zeppelin, Pearl Jam, Frank Zappa, Metallica, The Doors, Dead Can Dance, Tim Buckley, Jeff Buckley, Incredible String Band, Gnarls Barkley, Cream, Blind Faith, The John Butler Trio, The Cat Empire, Chuck Berry, Fats Domino, Ella Fitzgerald, Pink Floyd, and the recording artists I have probably listened to the most over the last 25 years an electronic duo called Leftfield.

That, by the way, is just a quick fly-past view of my music collection but are my musical tastes broad enough?

The singer of the song I mentioned in my first post sounds a bit like Iggy Pop, whose songs I like.

My biggest bugbear in listening to songs is when the singer is consistently off pitch, either flat or sharp. If it was someone stepping up to an open mike then that person should be encouraged and supported and hopefully, with practice, the singing will settle in over time, but when it is a recorded artist being broadcast I find it to be unprofessional.

I take pfr's point that the song I mentioned is in a particular genre, which is not a genre I favour, so in an ideal world I would not have to listen to it, but in a cafe environment I have no choice.

My original intent in starting this thread was not to start arguments. I was more interested in the musical attributes of songs which contribute to making a song that one person may like but another person cannot listen to.

Either mention a song you love or hate, and the reasons why, or give an alternative view on a song someone else has mentioned, but I'm interested in the musical or emotional or other bases that you are using to arrive at your decisions. In some cases, it won't be a "decision" but your overall response to the music.

Whatevs!

Here are some more songs I love:

Olilili - Trad. Bantu lullabye Miriam Makeba

Vivaldi - Domine Deus, Rex Coelestis

Archie Roach - I've Lied

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 02 May 21 - 05:00 PM

And in case you are wondering, I listen to all that and more from my collection on a regular basis.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 May 21 - 06:30 PM

Not an "ordinary pop song," by any means. He struck a nerve, both religious and secular.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 02 May 21 - 06:49 PM

I never cease to amaze myself that I can be listening to Beethoven's quartet op 127 in E flat tonight and Summer In Siam sung by a very drunk-sounding Shane the next morning, and shedding a silent tear in both cases. In the words, ill-remembered admittedly, of that great pianist and conductor Vladimir Ashkenazy, music is a complete mystery to me...

I love the Beatles, but I Am The Walrus is a terrible song and Here Comes The Sun is wonderful, eternal and will live for ever. So life-affirming. Just like that Beethoven quartet. And Mozart's Sinfonia Concertante and the finale of the Jupiter...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 May 21 - 11:11 PM

I love Sinfonia Concertante - the LP of it I had when I was a kid had the BEST base drums in it. Not all versions really go over the top, but you can't have too many base drums in that one.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 03 May 21 - 12:23 AM

I might not always be 100-percent serious,
particularly on matters I take very seriously..

The three songs I linked to earlier could be either brilliant or shite, or both at the same time...?????

That's the beauty about music, and personal taste..

I like them, spent good money on them, and enjoy them every time I listen.
But can understand why most other people probably won't...

The music that inspires me most at the moment tends to be Ukrainian, Russian, Turkish, etc, folk rock pop - for want of a better description -..
Early 70s glam rock,
mid 60s fuzz box freakbeat..
Early 1980s electro synth pop..
And always under any circumstances vintage rock and roll, and reggae.

I've had my own preferences regarding trad folk and folk rock, since I was a young teenager in the early 70s.
F*** being just one of the genres of music I thoroughly enjoy.

(Hah.. Google dictation and voice transcription applied the asterisks..
Perhaps the internet is sick of what is f*** debates...???)

Personally, I think "summer holiday" is one of the best, most evocative hit records of the 1960s.
On equal footing with "in summer" by Billy Fury.
When I listen to those, I can still taste the cider lollies I'd buy after queuing up at the ice cream van when it stopped on the road outside my childhood home..

But each their own, I couldn't give a monkey's if other people hate these records,
providing they ?have Sound reasons rather just lazy ignorant intolerance..
However, it's not that important, I certainly wouldn't get in a fight over it..

.. well maybe I'd probably take the piss just a little bit to wind them up.
But it's reciprocal they'd have the right to do the same to me regarding my stronger likes and dislikes..

I can be very intolerant to what I consider self indulgent pretentious boring avant-garde jazz art music,
the sort much loved by British TV music awards nominating panels...

Or for that matter any tedious too lengthy guitar solo jamming..

The much-maligned classic rock drum solo,
can be excruciating or exhilarating, depending on mood and circumstances.
Though perhaps better experienced at live gigs, rather than ruining the middle of a good recording...???

I'm not a big fan of over extended soulless improvisation,
displays of egotistical virtuosity just for its own sake.

That's the teenage minimalist down to earth punk and folk fan in me.
Still resisting, and antagonistic towards, pompous self-importance, pseudo intellectualism, and petty snobbery...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: mg
Date: 03 May 21 - 01:28 AM

i keep going back to barrett's privateers, especially the parody.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 03 May 21 - 02:35 AM

”Not an "ordinary pop song," by any means. He struck a nerve, both religious and secular.”

It’s a bloody awful dirge. But you’re absolutely right when you say ‘it struck a nerve’ - it definitely gets on my nerves every time my ears are assaulted by it.

The usual disclaimers apply......IMHO, YMMV etc.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 03 May 21 - 04:15 AM

I have walked out of an establishment when they played "Sugar sugar" by the Archies".

Robin

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 May 21 - 04:24 AM

Then there's that God-awful Run For Your Life. Even Lennon hated himself for writing it.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: BobL
Date: 03 May 21 - 04:28 AM

To get back to worst songs: I think I should mention one with the singular distinction of having been banned from the Anchor Middle Bar at Sidmouth. No, not Wild Rover, that was just penalised with a big fine. I refer to the Traffic Light Song.

First verse:
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
That is what I said,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
I like traffic lights,
Except when they are red.

Chorus:
He likes traffic lights,
etc.

The tune, such as it is, is the height of banality, if that isn't a contradiction in terms.
I don't know how many verses there are, the singer never got beyond the fourth.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: peteglasgow
Date: 03 May 21 - 04:40 AM

'god save the queen' - the traditional version of the english national anthem.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 03 May 21 - 05:13 AM

Sugar Sugar - The Archies - One of the most near perfect examples of bubblegum pop,h
on par with The Monkees,
crafted by a team of some of the finest writers, producers, and session musicians in popular nusic history...

But each to their own...

The only thing I've ever walked out on was Derek Jarman's "Caravaggio",
it bored me to te point of near murderous anger,
and at that time I was a serious fan of arty farty cinema,
I tolerated all levels of pretentious tripe for student audiences,
I even enjoyed previous Jarman films.
But Caravaggio took me over the edge it was so diabolicaly shite...!!!


Though there was one other thing where I came close to walking out,
but thought I ought to make an effort in case it got better,,

I went to a folk club one miserable dark cold night in 1979, stayed to the bitter end;
but never went back to another one since..

It was all too happy clappy singalong for my liking,
felt too much like Sunday School I detested when I was a kid...

[can't remember how or why that was inflicted on my childhood...???
My parents were deliberately bringing me up sceptical agnostic..
.. maybe my dad dumped me there so he could go to the pub
when my mum was working Sundays...???]

For years I associated acoustic guitars with weirdy creepy smiley god botherers,
until Donovan and other pop folkies on the telly convinced me otherwise...


Anyway, The Archies - one of my favourite bands,
Sugar Sugar invokes happy memories of last year at primary school, before the strict regimented bullying ordeal
of all boys grammar school..

That's the positive power of pop music...!!!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 May 21 - 05:30 AM

Good pick, pete. That also reminds me of that mercifully short "Her Majesty" on Abbey Road, right at the end after a long pause. Awful. It was originally meant to go between Mean Mr Mustard and Polythene Pam in the side two medley. Ye gods, that was a close thing...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 03 May 21 - 06:27 AM

Hallelujah! Someone on Mudcat - Backwoodsman - has agreed with me...been a long time.

And from Peteglasgow:

'god save the queen' - the traditional version of the english national anthem.ll

It needs some work, but -

God save our verdant land
Long live our long-lived land
God save England...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 03 May 21 - 07:18 AM

(could be on a roll!)...

Make her a beacon of
Fair trade and equity
Respecting the U.N.
God save England...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 03 May 21 - 08:03 AM

My worst musical experience came early last year when I had to have a MRI scan. They asked me what I wanted on the headphones and I said I didn’t know (on reflection, I might have suggested Classic FM). The radio station they gave me was awful. I got a bit panicky towards the later part of the scan and got them to stop. They forgot to put the radio back on when they resumed. It didn’t make me feel any more relaxed but just hearing the rumbles of the machine was better than the “music”. Of course the person making the choice of station for me wouldn’t have realised how awful I’d find it – she probably thought she was making a nice choice for me…

–
Think someone mentioned Glam Rock above… Slade, T Rex, etc. are a pretty good slot for me (b. 1960).

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: gillymor
Date: 03 May 21 - 08:16 AM

I've loved Jeff Buckley's version of Hallelujah since I first heard it. The sparse, spikey, reverb-drenched guitar accompaniment is just so perfect for the mood and lyrics of the song.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 03 May 21 - 10:31 AM

I'm completely fed up with miserable moaners and negativity...

Endlessly pernicious psychic/ emotional /energy/ vampires..

So to push the mood up a notch..

The best most uplifting musically sublime concerts I've ever attended were probably k.d. Lang

One at the Albert hall..

And another at a vast London stadium,
whenn my sister pulled strings with her lGBT contacts in the fan club
and got me and the Mrs middle front row seats..

If I remember correctly now, I was conspicuously probably the only bloke anywhere within several rows of the stage..

However I got out unscathed.
Perhaps I looked close enough like one of the bigger butcher lesbian stereotypes...?????
Can't remember if I had long hair, a shaved head,
or intermediary shaved back and sides with a long ponytail warrior top knot
Like Yul Brynner in Taras Bulba.
In which case I was more than likely wearing one of those brightly coloured striped Nepalese hats as a trendy affectation, and to keep my head warm..

Yeah I probably look like a big boss lesbian with a smaller quiet mousey girlfriend.
An unintentional but very effective disguise for a mid 90s k.d. Lang concert..

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 03 May 21 - 10:36 AM

Errrm "looked like".. past tense..

(Bloody tiny mobile phone screens letting stupid errors slip by an old bloke with poor reading eyesight)

I'm far more boring and conservative in my dress and appearance, as I'm getting closer to retirement age.

Looking normal is the radical trending new thing by my alternative subcultural standards...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 03 May 21 - 11:19 AM

Pfr, I reckon you need a good Clout

Then maybe we'll ship your body down the Missisippi.

(I like these songs)

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 03 May 21 - 11:25 AM

Mississippi

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 03 May 21 - 11:37 AM

Jon - top pop picking..

Fancy a gig as disc jockey at my cremation...

(Psst.. "Now 70s glam pop" a pretty good multi CD collection for about a tenner..

Instant kitchen dance party for any grey haired or balding wrinkly glam rockers..
And if I remember correctly Amazon chuck in free MP3 downloads as well, if you select them as seller..

Let's just say that purchase bought me some brownie points with the wife earlier this year)...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 03 May 21 - 11:37 AM

...others on a roll!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 03 May 21 - 03:37 PM

Jon Freeman, my musical experience in the MRI scan was a commercial radio station's news broadcast item about a randomly violent stabbing at a party. I must have looked agitated because the ethereal voice asked me if I was all right and I asked her to turn the radio off. I listened to the sounds of the MRI and found it soothing.

I can't stand the yakkety-yak of commercial radio at any time, but being in a claustrophobic's nightmare enclosed space while listening to it was like being in hell.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 03 May 21 - 03:49 PM

I rather enjoyed the experience of being scanned.
Never occurred to me to ask for music.

The first time was having my head scanned,
So maybe headphones weren't an option.

The later second time it was my bowels.
I suppose a scan image of headphones on my bum would have been very amusing,
And very perplexing to the specialist.
In ear phones shoved in that region,
Would have really confused them

But that prank never occurred to me at the time,
And I have too much respect for the NHS to be wasting their time with such frivolity..

However if I was paying for Bupa...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 03 May 21 - 05:30 PM

The funny thing about my scan experience was that I had brought along a Leftfield CD to listen to but decided not to use it. The MRI noises were not very dissimilar to some of Leftfield's interesting rhythms.

Leftfield - Black Flute

Leftfield - Release The Pressure

or their collaboration with Johnny Rotten:

Leftfield Lydon - Open Up

I refer to Leftfield as electro-percussion because both Neil Barnes and Paul Daley were drummers originally and the percussion elements are central to their music.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 03 May 21 - 05:53 PM

Well pfr, it's not often I buy music but I've just ordered that Now 70s set. A few on the listing I can't place but a lot I remember well.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 May 21 - 07:23 PM

I've had three MRIs, one of my knee and two of my back. They're a pretty claustrophobic experience and a nightmare for people like me who can't keep still. Tell me not to move and my nose/head/arse will immediately start to itch like mad. I was invited to take my own CD for the first one. Twenty-five minutes of sheer hell with the most execrably scratchy sound ensued. I was almost screaming. For the second and third ones I opted for silence and I just shut my eyes tight. I can take any kind of dental brutality without anaesthetic and I care not a jot about colonoscopy, but MRIs are something else...

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 May 21 - 07:49 AM

Why not above the line?

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: gillymor
Date: 04 May 21 - 08:01 AM

I'll have a go at that. DtG mentioned a highly contentious thread above the line that involved Ewan McColl and I recall another one involving Bob Dylan that produced a lot of acrimony. Up there you get anonymous agitators, and some members, who whip up a lot of toxic froth whereas down here folks have been very civil in what could have been a thread that got ugly fast. Moving it down here was a good play, IMO.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 04 May 21 - 03:07 PM

Down here in BS we do have a bad reputation spread amongst the more prissy mudcatters..

But reality is, most of us are probably a lot less petty and deranged
than any of our more self righteous accusers and haters upstairs..
..and on mudcat Facebook...?????

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 May 21 - 03:50 PM

Is there a Mudcat Facebook? Didn't know that. As I never visit Facebook and never will, feel free to slag me off there with impunity! :-)

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 04 May 21 - 03:54 PM

Thanks gillymor. That was the same conclusion I reached on why this thread is better downstairs than upstairs.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 May 21 - 04:02 PM

Ewan MacColl and Bob Dylan are very contentious figures. Of course a debate about them will likely get heated, and why shouldn't it. This thread has launched in a fairly humorous vein. I can't see that putting it above the line would have made much difference.

And how about "no login, no comment..."

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 04 May 21 - 08:19 PM

I'm a songwriter, so bad lyrics bug me. I heard an ardent gun control songwriter do a sincere rejection of guns with the line, "Take your guns and flush them down the toilet." Perhaps his father was a plumber.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 04 May 21 - 08:39 PM

take your guns and flush em down the toilet
Even if you block it with your Glock
Poke it down with an automatic
It won't be too long static.
A bash with the toilet duck
Will dislodge the little fuck.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 04 May 21 - 09:02 PM

Yours is much better, Al. This young man was very serious. I agrred with his stand on guns, and didn't want to draw attention to the dumbness of the lyrics. He was my opening act so I couldnt very easily leave.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 04 May 21 - 09:02 PM

Yours is much better, Al. This young man was very serious. I agrred with his stand on guns, and didn't want to draw attention to the dumbness of the lyrics. He was my opening act so I couldnt very easily leave.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Joe_F
Date: 04 May 21 - 09:08 PM

"God Save the Queen" is doggerel, but as doggerel it has its points. Many people have admired "Confound their politics, / Frustrate their knavish tricks", tho no doubt having different "enemies" in mind. But even better, IMO, is the climax:

May she defend our laws
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice
"God save the Queen!"

The spectacle of subjects praying for Divine intervention to make the sovereign mind her business (with, even, a hint of warning in "give us cause") is a splendid one.

As to the *worst* song, it would be a terrible task to pick out the worst one from the hundreds of thousands of bad ones that are lumped at the bottom. Among the songs *that are sung at participatory sings*, there are a few that instantly make me wish I were elsewhere, but I have commented on them in the appropriate threads.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 04 May 21 - 11:35 PM

If you took the tune of the verse of Turkey in the Straw, and changed toilet to john:-

Oh you take your guns
And flush 'em down the john.
Then you pull the chain until you see they're gone.
Hand grenades, and bullets and yer flame throwers too
Take them all and flush 'em down the loo

Chorus
Weapons in the crapper!
Headin' for the sewer
They won't hurt no one no more
When you finish - sit there on your rump
Celebratin' what you done with a great big dump!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 04 May 21 - 11:36 PM

did I win...?

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: gillymor
Date: 05 May 21 - 07:59 AM

Maybe not among the worst songs ever written but even as a teenager I used to cringe, and still do, when I heard songs on the top 40 designed to cash in on Flower Power, the Hippie Movement, Summer of Love, whatever you want to call it. Examples include Green Tambourine, Spirit in the Sky, If You're going to San Francisco, The Year 2525 etc.
Good thing I don't have a lawn.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 May 21 - 08:44 AM

Good bopping song, though, Spirit In The Sky!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: gillymor
Date: 05 May 21 - 08:58 AM

It borrows a boogie beat from John Lee Hooker but it still almost triggers my gag reflex.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 05 May 21 - 10:27 AM

The world cannot underestimate the importance of spirit in the sky...

Where for example international football fans might debate and venerate the greatest goal ever in football history..

That's how the guitar player subculture of fuzzbox worshippers regards spirit in the sky...

Green tambourine is up there on a pedestal hailed a classic of bubblegum pop..

Old git folkie monoculturists need to let their hair down and enjoy these things things...

Remember there are more colours in the world than grey...

And kitchens were invented for dancing and singing along to classic pop music..

It's no coincidence nature has determined the ideal average optimum duration of a pop song as the same as boiling an egg...

There, science proves this...!!!

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Helen
Date: 05 May 21 - 02:46 PM

Or there is that other hippie song by Sandie Thom, I Wish I Was a Punk Rocker (With Flowers in my Hair)

[Ducking and running for cover!]

I can just imagine Johnny Rotten with flowers in his hair.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 05 May 21 - 03:56 PM

No problem at all, I'm from Scrumpyshire...

Back in 1976 to 1980, our provincial west country counterculture
was hybrid punk/hippy..

The best and worst of both tribes...

Allied together we both s*** our pants in fear of our deadly enemy young farm labourer bonehead bootboys..

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: gillymor
Date: 05 May 21 - 05:02 PM

No doubt Mr. Lydon would look shagadelic with those accoutrements, Helen.

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: The Sandman
Date: 06 May 21 - 01:32 AM

My Proper Name is Clarence

My Proper Name is Clarence
(John "Mitch" Mitchell)

While sitting in a hostelry, alone one Sunday night,
A fella came across to me and asked me for a light,
He offered me a cigarette; he bought me half a beer,
And we were getting friendly when he whispered in my ear.

cho: "My proper name is Clarence, but you can call me Clare,
    I wear sexy undies and I peroxide my hair,
    My politics are liberal, my outlook's liberal too,
    In fact my dear, I'm a little bit queer and I've taken a shine to you."

Well I supped my jar; I left that bar, faster than a scalded cat,
Caught the landlord's eye as I went by and I stopped just for a chat,
I said, "Hey, he's propositioned me. Do you allow that there 'ere?"
Well he didn't get riled, in fact he just smiled and he whispered in my ear.

Well off I did go, to the new disco, to find myself a bride,
Picked up this pearl of a pastry girl, took her for a ride,
In the back of the car, I got so far, then I froze with fear,
When I felt a lump and my heart went thump and a voice whispered in my ear.

Next day at eight, I called my mate, he promised not to tell,
By a quarter to nine the production line, the foreman knew as well,
They called me misses and they blew me kisses, the boss he got to hear,
For me he sent, to the office I went and he whispered in my ear.

I joined the health service, to train to be a nurse,
With stethoscope and fob watch, with pride I fair did burst,
My charge nurse said he'd teach me, the kiss of life technique,
Well first he turned the lights down and when he began to speak, he said,

"My proper name is Clarence, but you can call me Clare,
I wear sexy undies and I peroxide my hair,
My politics are liberal, my outlook's liberal too,
In fact my dear, I'm a little bit queer and I've taken a shine to you.

In fact my dears, thanks for having me here, God bless, good night to you."
Song written by Mitch who hails from Worksop, UK.

This song is iin my opinion disgraceful, it encourages intolerance. i saw a couple sing this song at a zoom folk club and mention that two people had walked out of a folk club gig they had done. they introduced the song as being about the politician jeremy thorpe. The whole point about THORPE WAS THAT HE WENT ON TRIAL FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER.of his alleged gay lover. do we really want togo back to times when gay people were forced tobehave in a clandestine way?
remember Martin Carthy giving that silly old fool Tom Brown senior a bollocking for singing this song , Brown made it worse by doing all sort of actions with a limp wrist. this is a song that appeals to the worst in people. so we have a song where people who are liberal in their views are portrayed as laughable. If that couple continue to include the song in their set they are sooner or later going to get adverse reactions, they need to cop on

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: Allan Conn
Date: 06 May 21 - 03:00 AM

I am kind of with PFR though. I understand why someone may not like the original "Spirit In The Sky" if they see it as just a commercial bandwagon type thing. But it stands on its own as a classic fun pop tune. Was an even bigger #1 in the 80s by Doctor & The Medics on its merit with no nod to hippiedom and again by the Kumars in the noughties as a charity single. It is incredibly catchy. I don't have an issue with Sandy Thom's chorus either. She isn't saying that she thought punks wore flowers in the hair. She's just saying she has a hankering for both subcultures and earlier times. Bur fair dos different things irk different folk.

One song for me that has me cringing is Paul McCartney's "London Town"

"Crawling down the pavement on a Sunday afternoon
I was arrested by a rozzer with a pink baloon
About his foot - toot toot"

I he ever needed another songwriter beside him just to say "that is crap Paul rewrite it" that was the moment.

Saying that we are big McCartney and Wings fans in this household and even though it has awful lyrics and isn't one of his better tunes we still find ourselves kind of humming along. "toot toot"

Subject: RE: Worst song you have ever heard?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 06 May 21 - 05:28 AM

I will admit that for a long time in my youth
I disliked on principle "spirit in the sky",
and any other songs with overt "god botherer" lyrics..

Just the mention of God or Jesus in a pop song was like fingernails on a blackboard to me..

However from my early 20s I had to come to terms with my innate intolerance for religions,
because I started feeling a strong affinity for vintage soul and gospel recordings..

(Vague memories a cheap price Sam Cooke cassette may have been the trigger...???)

I began to shut my my mind off to the words and positively embrace the beauty and emotion of the music..

If in an alternative universe life I was good enough musician and singer to work in a club covers band,
I could always mischievously substitute the words cod and cheeses...

Which reminds me, good candidates for worst songs ever
should have to include authoritarian enforced school morning assembly hymns...!!!