BS: Who you calling elderly?

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Jul 21 - 06:47 PM

I've heard worse, and I have a whole battery of much worse ones that I have to keep to myself (and chuckle).

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Jul 21 - 06:25 PM

meself, no, he is in the US. And there is so much wrong about that joke on so many levels. It must be retired, Bill_D, it is no longer funny (it never was funny, but now people don't need to chuckle politely.)

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Jul 21 - 05:14 PM

late nite Willie

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jun 21 - 08:34 AM

Old dyslexic Ben says he has Bain Frog.
The elderly narcissist in assisted living thinks he has house guests.
An old racist says he used to be a pin head till he went bald.
95 year old Al says QAnon have lost their minds 60 years before their time.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jun 21 - 07:45 AM

Itsnotsnow, its a hell storm.
Got Milf?

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: HuwG
Date: 17 Jun 21 - 07:08 AM

From my lofty position at fify <cough><cough> thirteen ...

And preparing to take cover ...

Some years ago, the BBC Radio 4 quiz show, "The Now Show!", hosted by Hugh Dennis ans Steve Punt, polled the studio audience on the best thing about growing old.

The answer I liked best was "an increased appreciation for wine, song and MILFs."

The joke has had enough time to be largely forgotten. I intend to microwave and use it when opportunity offers.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: meself
Date: 16 Jun 21 - 01:42 PM

Know thyself - in the Biblical sense.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jun 21 - 01:12 PM

Its too warm for snowflakes.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: meself
Date: 16 Jun 21 - 11:07 AM

Yikes - advanced age is the only excuse for that kind of racial stereotyping and, um ... 'problematic' terminology. Geography might be a mitigating factor: I assume you're in the UK?

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Jun 21 - 08:34 AM

".... warned me in no uncertain terms that I should desist from any further efforts in that direction."

Gee, Steve...my wife merely told me that "Anything you bring home, you have to feed and clean up after.".... knowing, of course, that all my interest in the local "attractive young ladies" was merely appreciation and fantasies.

   Old joke about old Indian..("Native American") who managed to trade his 40 year old squaw for 2 20 year old ones. Had to give it up after a week, though... explaining.."Me not wired for 2-20s,"

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jun 21 - 06:02 AM

Steve as my elder it is fitting I send you a piece of Princess Diana's wedding cake that I have been saving.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 16 Jun 21 - 04:34 AM

Yesterday, my 70th birthday, was sunny (matching my disposition) and the temperature reached 70F (matching my age). Highly satisfactory, and noted in my weather diary!

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Helen
Date: 15 Jun 21 - 11:49 PM

Another day older and deeper in debt:

Tennessee Ernie Ford - Sixteen Tons

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Jun 21 - 09:42 PM

for Steve - Three score and ten

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 Jun 21 - 03:03 PM

BTW Happy 70th Mr. Shaw :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 15 Jun 21 - 03:03 PM

BTW Happy 70th Mr. Shaw :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Jun 21 - 09:44 AM

I am, or aspire to be. I said something in a recent board meeting that someone else commented Sounds like years of wisdom and I replied Oh, I am *very* old, and they all laughed...

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 14 Jun 21 - 08:36 PM

I told you - I'm not old!

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 14 Jun 21 - 08:06 PM

"Dirty Old Man"

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 14 Jun 21 - 07:49 PM

I achieved three score years and ten 43 minutes ago as I type. You may not call me elderly as I regard seventy as the new 32. Unfortunately, I have yet to persuade even one of the many hundreds of attractive young ladies of Bude of this. Mrs Steve has advised, nay, warned me in no uncertain terms that I should desist from any further efforts in that direction. But, in the immortal words of Basil Fawlty, she'll have to sew 'em back on first...

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 14 Jun 21 - 04:56 PM

Regarding strains and torn muscles. If you just rest up, scar tissue reconnects muscles but in a shortened way. You have to retear the scar tissue by stretching which is blindingly painful BUT if you do rehab correctly, full range of motion and strength will return. Funny that intentional reinjury is good for you.

I thought X files jumped the shark but examples in literature and art in having a mass prediction of a major shared event is profound.
The question is about deduction verses, predaliction vs. presience verses psychic. I've discussed this subject before and a few people believe we have a 6th sense and the rest assume coincidence.
I think this subject goes beyond ghostbuster entertainment.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 06 Jun 21 - 12:12 PM

POunkfolkrocker: L:ove the song, love the group. I'll be 86 in another week. Don't have far to 90 and I'm feelin' fine. Never was much of a dancer, though. :-)

This is my kind a music. I'll have to check out the group.

Thanks for posting.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 06 Jun 21 - 01:23 AM

Andrè William and The Sadies - I'm an Old,Old man.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Helen
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 08:40 PM

Donuel, the night before I saw the 9-11 on the news (i.e. morning news in Australia) I recorded an episode of an X-Files spin-off series called The Lone Gunmen on TV and didn't watch it until a couple of days later. In the TV episode I was amazed to see an aeroplane heading straight for the twin towers. Spooky!

Pilot (The Lone Gunmen) It first aired in March 2001.

"Synopsis

"While he and the other Lone Gunmen attempt to steal a computer chip, Byers receives news of his father's death and the trio soon find themselves unraveling a government conspiracy in which an attempt to fly a commercial aircraft into the World Trade Center would result in increased arms sales for the United States of America."

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 08:36 PM

Thanks, Jennie. That's very encouraging. I'm glad I'm having this done while I'm still young. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 07:29 PM

https://amp.theguardian.com/fashion/2021/jun/03/sarah-grant-wearing-a-swimsuit-wasnt-a-problem-for-me-because-70-is-the-new-50

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: JennieG
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 07:14 PM

Jerry, I had eyelid surgery in August last year and the difference is amazing. My peripheral vision is much wider than before - I can see both hands at once without turning my head if my arms are held out to the sides - and my 'up and down' sight is wider too. In other words, the world is bigger than it has been for many years, so much so that I can't go outside in summer without a hat.

My friend's MIL had it done when she was already 90 or so to help with macular degeneration and it allowed more light into her eyes, which helped what sight she still had.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 07:12 PM

I remember a song "I always cook with honey"
Vinagar is for salads
Xylocaine is sweet too.
I still have a knack for posting events at least 3 weeks in advance of being widely publicized. A recent one was my saying that ufo disclosure will be advantageous politically at this time with such widespread distrust of government. And voila.
Next week there will be a further disclosure of classified annex data but there will be no 'mystery solved' info. The old excuses of refracted light of Venus being focused by weather balloons are over, but real insightful information is not forthcoming. I kinda like the static that happens before the event actually happens. Other times I am surprie myself like when I painted twin towers being set afire by an airplane and thousands souls sybolized by arms and hands ascending to heaven - SEVEN years before 9-11.
Call it a facility if you will but this ability did come in handy as a hypnotist. I have avoided 'dead ends' more than once as with an offer from the CIA. - real bastards.
rant over and out

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Helen
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 04:08 PM

Yes well, Jerry & Donuel, I'm not so sure about that. Maybe an aged vinegar? :-D

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 11:43 AM

I was thinking Scotch.
Yep I was a musician 50 years ago. Music was like magic until I had music theory and the patterns were too complex for me, aka no talent.
All I had was an incredible tone.
FIFTY years in a blink.
I remember my parents said such a thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 09:34 AM

You are aged like a fine wine, Helen.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Helen
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 06:05 AM

Toyota 86

Mid-life crisis! As long as he doesn't trade me in for a younger, snazzier model, it's ok.

The good news was that it wasn't a high-priced sporty car and I was happy that he chose a Toyota because that's the only brand of cars I have owned - thanks to a recommendation from my now-deceased motor mechanic Dad - and they are good value, reliable and long-lasting. My old Corolla is still going strong. It does look a bit elderly next to his car, though. A bit like me, I suppose. Elderly but going ok.

Subject: RE: you calling Jill Biden elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jun 21 - 05:34 AM

They say "don't look down" but i can get dizzy by looking up/

Helen I think I have your husband's car.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 03 Jun 21 - 04:41 PM

Good one, Bill.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 03 Jun 21 - 04:30 PM

Thanks so much, Helen. Like you, I did some poking around for easing Vertigo. The Eply Maneuver is the best known of three excercizes, I don't emember the one I used, but it was similar and did the trick. Gingko Biloba is a natural rememedy that keeps it from coming back. I take a pill once a day and it works beautifully.

Many years ago a friend of mine bought an Alfa Romeo. He took me for a ride, and he's lucky I'm still in it. It was almost impossible to get out of the car. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Helen
Date: 03 Jun 21 - 03:43 PM

Jerry, my Hubby bought a low-slung sporty car a few years ago and I have trouble getting in and out of it because it is so low to the ground. I go "Oof" and "Aah" each time and the seat has a dip in it which makes it even more difficult. So, it's not just the high vehicles which are a problem.

I suddenly developed vertigo a couple of years ago and after an internet search I discovered the Epley Manoeuvre aka Epley Maneuver which works if the problem is crystals moving around in the inner ear.

"The Epley maneuver is an exercise you can do at home to relieve dizziness caused by benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV).

"BPPV is caused by a problem with the inner ear. Calcium crystals called canaliths can end up in the semicircular canals. If these crystals become dislodged and move around, they can cause the sensation that the world is spinning or moving, also known as vertigo. The Epley maneuver, however, can dislodge these crystals and remove them from the semicircular canals."

The instructions on this page are the same as the ones I use. Epley Maneuver Remember to do it for the correct side. My problem was my right ear.

It only works if the crystals are the cause but it's a simple technique and worth trying. After the initial bout I have only had a couple of further issues and the Epley technique fixed it quick-smart.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Jun 21 - 02:31 PM

"Getting old is a process of adjusting to the limitations of ageing, OR IMAGINING LIMITATIONS without losing your appreciation for life in the moment." quote: Jerry
SO TRUE
Ruminating about so much to do takes the place of doing even small steps that add up to a solution. I do that and it is key to successful procrastination. I need an app to set off a procrastination alarm like a xlaxon bell.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Jun 21 - 01:37 PM

"How do you get down off of an elephant?"

You don't..you get down off of a duck.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 03 Jun 21 - 12:25 PM

By the bye, Not being able to get up off your knees does not necessarily mean you are elderly, unless you believe you are. In my eyes, Elderly is a state of being.

Yesterday morning, I was lying in bed before getting up to start the day. I've been sobered (nothing to do with alchohol consumption or the lack thereof) by the amount of outside work I have to do. I've had two bouts of vertigo that lingered a couple of months each, and I feel like I live in a jungle. It's not that I can't do the work (I am blessed that I can get up and down on my knees.) I've just gotten so far behind. I started wondering how I can handle the work. The thought crossed my mind that at some point I may have to move out of my house because I can't keep up with the work.

"WAIT A MINUTE"!!!!, I said to myself, and stopped dead in my tracks. I was still lying in bed, so I wasn't in my "tracks." I still look into the future once in awhile and it looks unrealistically bleak. Besides, this is today, not ten years from now.

Getting old is a process of adjusting to the limitations of ageing, without losing your appreciation for life in the moment.

Later this morning, I had to take my car in for a fifty thousand mile checkup. Cars age, too, and nobody calls THEM elderly. I left my car at the dealers and got a ride home from a young man at the dealership. A woman who looked like she was at least in her sixties (A young chickie) rode in the car with us. The "car" was a gray SUV. It was the size of an elephant, and getting out was a challenge. The door jam was more than two feet off the road. I didn't have any trouble getting in, but when I got out, the floor inside the SUV was six inches below the door jam, and I had to duck my head to get out, while lifting my right leg six inches to get over the door jam, all while not knocking my hat off. :-) When the woman got off first, she swung her legs around and stepped out with ease. She was short and was not wearing a big straw hat. Does that mean I am elderly because I had more trouble getting out? Not on your life!
It's hard getting off an elephant when you are six feet tall and are adding another three inches, wearing a hat.

I ain't elderly yet!

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 03 Jun 21 - 11:24 AM

I've got my dad's eyelids. O.k., I don't mean I have his actual eyelids. :-) When my dad was about my age his eyelids looked like saggy curtains: or so I was told. I was living a thousand miles away from home, so I didn't notice. Like others in my family, on bith sides, it looked like he was half asleep. As the day progresses and I get tired, my eyelids set with the sun. It looks like I'm squinting into oncoming headlights.

Not cool.

I had my eyes checked a couple of days ago, and I have three small spots on the back of my eye from the beginning of macular degeneration. Us Scandinavian types are light-skinned and the coloring on the back of our eye fades and thin as we age. At this point, my eyesight is not affected, but I will have to get regular six month check-ups to monitor the progression. I've been taking Lutein for the last thirty years, which is supposed to protect against macular degenration so I may not lose my eyesight.

If it's not one thing, it's another. :-) My eye doctor thinks I will be o.k., because the spots are small and he thinks the MD will advance slowly at my age.

Whatever.

In the next two or three weeks, I'll have my eyelids lifted and my vision will be substantially improved. No more yelling at me "Wake up!"

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 03 Jun 21 - 09:22 AM

Ever notice how the elderly get off track and have a wandering attention span. :^]
Some of the elderly evolve a wisdom and have a big picture of life.
Others never grow up.
Its like the difference between Biden and Trump.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 02 Jun 21 - 08:39 PM

Pete & Bas

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Helen
Date: 02 Jun 21 - 05:04 PM

Charmion, I hope that the Grampa weeder does the trick, when you can get one. There are other brands available here in Oz.

I totally agree about contracting out, especially for very loud machinery like lawn mowers.

At this point we are in in-between land regarding the garden. We plan to get it all sorted by a garden expert later this year. We had it re-worked about 10 years ago but some of the grand plans fell down badly. Two of the plans sort-of worked: Plan #1 was to have no lawns to mow except the path outside the fence; Plan #2 was to use mulch mat as much as possible to smother the weeds.

The very lovely man who set up our garden thought he would save us some money by using horse manure instead of cow manure. He didn't listen when I told him that my mother always said not to use horse poo - unless you compost it first - because the weeds just go straight through them unlike cow poo, because cows chew their cud and the weeds get mashed up before being ejected at the other end.

Consequently, we were the beneficiaries of all the weeds those lovely horses ate out in the paddocks, especially the really annoying Bidens pilosa aka cobbler's pegs which spreads as easily as COVID 19 and is as difficult to control, IMO. It's called cobbler's pegs because of the little, hard spiky bits which stick to clothes and start growing again when they fall off. It's like fairy dust spread by a lot of bad fairies. The other bothersome weed is summer grass, which grows to about a metre tall and takes over any open ground it can find, like an invading army. If we can put paths and paving down for all the non-gardening bits, we will only have the gardens to tend and we might get on top of this. I hope.

Like I said, I'm not a good gardener at the best of times, but this is just overwhelming me. An insurmountable problem at present until the cavalry arrives - hopefully without their horses dropping more weed seeds.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Charmion
Date: 02 Jun 21 - 07:00 AM

Thanks for that page of links, Helen. The Canadian distributor of Grandpa’s Weeder is Lee Valley Tools, my favourite purveyor of gadgets.

It’s out of stock at every Lee Valley outlet in eastern and central Canada.

I’ve done an adequate job of weed control so far with stoop labour and a Lee Valley dandelion lifter, but I can see that Grandpa’s Weeder is the way of the future.

In my opinion, the way to garden happiness is to contract out work that requires equipment you either don’t have or hate to use — in my case, that means lawn care because I hate the racket of a lawn mower or aerator. I have ear defenders for when I have to take the weed-whacker for a spin, which is blessedly not often.

Also, plant shrubs and perennials. That reduces the drudgery to weeding and occasional pruning.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Helen
Date: 01 Jun 21 - 08:35 PM

Charmion, I found this:

Here are three links for Europe, UK, and Canadian customers:

but also a Google search for "stand up weeder Canada" gives some alternative brands.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Charmion
Date: 01 Jun 21 - 06:11 PM

Alas, Helen, the Grandpa’s Weeder people do not sell to Canadians, unless we can pretend to be Americans or Australians. I’m not quite up to that level of subterfuge.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Helen
Date: 01 Jun 21 - 05:40 PM

Yes, Charmion, I guess the horse has already bolted on the WH&S (Work Health & Safety) advice. :-(

I also remembered a weeding tool one of my neighbours showed me.

Grampa's Weeder

It works well. I haven't bought one yet, but that's because our garden is a jungly mess and I wouldn't know which weed to pull out first and besides, the weed-gremlins just come up behind me sprinkling thousands more for every weed I pull out.

I'm a terrible gardener. We've put lots of pots on the top verandah with herbs and veges and some geraniums and lavender. It's within my power to control that lot and they are doing fairly well. We have capsicums, some chilli plants, basil, tiny tomatoes, lemongrass, and we did have some fancy lettuces but they died off with the colder weather.

I don't know what I do wrong with thyme and lemon thyme. They were going great and then, with a wave of it's wicked magic wand the garden fairy killed them both at the same time. I have trouble keeping thyme/time obviously.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Jun 21 - 09:08 AM

Alzheimers has its first drug claiming to slow progression.
More insights into memory and the hippocampus are here.
https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Memory-Thief/Lauren-Aguirre/9781643136523

Also opiods and Fentanyl may cause hippocapal damage.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Charmion
Date: 01 Jun 21 - 06:58 AM

Workplace health and safety don’t have my ankles to contend with. Once busted, forever stiff. Combine that with arthritic knees, and there you are : head down, bum up.

Subject: RE: BS: Who you calling elderly?
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Jun 21 - 06:39 AM

A glorious day is having less back pain than the day before.
The spine is fine. Torn muscles are the troubles.