Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore

Subject: They dont write em like That anymore
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Jan 00 - 03:07 PM

Does anybody have the complete lyrics?? This song was sung by Vin Garbutt a long time ago.

Subject: Lyr Add: THEY DON'T WRITE THEM LIKE THAT ANY MORE
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 21 Jan 00 - 04:31 PM

This is how Arthur Johnstone from Glasgow sings it on his LP 'Generations of Change' (1985). The author is given as 'Betts'. I gather it was written in the States. Does anyone know more about him? And can anyone help with the two expressions I'm not sure about (see question marks). - Susanne

THEY DON'T WRITE THEM LIKE THAT ANY MORE
(Betts)

Chorus:
And oh, how we could sing, what fun those nights would bring
Singing for hours on end
Once we found the key - oh what harmony
Those drunken voices could blend
Heart of My Heart, just for a start
Walkin' My Baby Back Home
When it comes to an end let's sing it again
They don't write them like that any more

Da's drunk again and he's brought lots of men
And their wives back home from the club
They've got no beer but you need have no fear
Tam's gone round the back door of the pub
Someone's playing a piano as if using a sledgehammer
Murdering There Goes My Heart
There's a knock at the door, it's Tam in once more
Brought the beer, so we're ready to start

Ma's in the kitchen tryin' to make up a snack
From the chicken we had this afternoon
Jack says, Where's the toilet, Ma says, Roon' the back
By his look - not a minute too soon
Then a laugh round the whole house: Jack's fell in the coalhouse
Man, he's as drunk as a neut
With his face covered black he's not taken aback
He sings Mammy and the rest follows suit

Half one in the mornin', Da's started yawnin'
He's got to be workin' at six
A bold audience is watchin' while Tony is botchin' (?)
And missin' an easy card trick (?)
It's time to go now, he's got somehow
To get them all to go home
When you're drunk full of beer the last thing you want to hear
Is a tune on his paper and comb
^^

Subject: Lyr Add: THEY DON'T WRITE THEM LIKE THAT ANY MORE
From: Bugsy
Date: 21 Jan 00 - 09:15 PM

Only a couple of words differently in the version I sing:

THEY DON'T WRITE THEM LIKE THAT ANY MORE
(Betts)

Chorus:
And ee, how we could sing, what joy those nights would bring
Singing for hours on end
Once we found the key - oh what harmony
Those boozie voices could blend
Heart of My Heart, just for a start
Walkin' My Baby Back Home
When it comes to an end it's "let's sing it again"
They don't write them like that any more

Da's drunk again and he's brought lots of men
And their wives back home from the pub
They've got no beer but you need have no fear
Tam's gone round the back door of the club
Someone's playing a piano as if using a sledgehammer
Murdering There Goes My Heart
There's a burst through the door, and it's Bert and what's more
Hes' brought the beer, so we're ready to start

Ma's in the kitchen tryin' to knock up a snack
From the chicken we had this afternoon
Jack says, Where's the toilet, Ma says, "out the back,
And by the looks - not a minute too soon
Then a laugh shakes the whole house: Jack's fell in the coalhouse
Man, he's as drunk as a newt
But with his face coloured black he's not taken aback
He sings Mammy and the rest follows suit

Half past one in the mornin', and Dad's started yawnin'
He's got to be workin' at six
A bored audience is watchin' while Tony is botchin'
And messin' an easy card tricks
Ah but it's time to go now, and Dads got the knowhow
To make 'em all want to go home
"Cos when you're all full of beer the last thing you want to hear
Is a tune on his paper and comb

Cheers

bugsy

HTML line breaks added --JoeClone, 3-Jan-02.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They dont write em like That anymore
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 21 Jan 00 - 09:46 PM

Bothchin (or botching) to make a complete mess of. So presuamably he is trying to show off a card trick (like a magic trick with cards) and it's going all wrong...

Haven't heard this song since the early to mid 80's...

Jon

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They dont write em like That anymore
From: GUEST,Ralf Weihrauch
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 06:48 AM

Thank you very much, Susanne and Bugsy. That was a big Help.

Ralf

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They dont write em like That anymore
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 22 Jan 00 - 05:48 PM

Ralf, mysongbook.de (will it work?) may be a help for other songs you may be looking for. It's much smaller than the DT and nowhere near complete, but any title in there without content you can get from me under [e-mail]. - Susanne

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They dont write em like That anymore
From: Captain Swing
Date: 23 Jan 00 - 12:03 PM

It was written by Pete Betts, along time friend of Vin Garbutt's from the Middlesborough area. I first saw him at one of Vin's gigs at Louth Folk Club in 1972. He had driven Vin to the gig but also did a floorspot himself. He was superb and was later booked in his own right.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They dont write em like That anymore
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Jan 00 - 02:08 PM

And Vin did a great version of it on "Tossing a Wobbler" (Topic Records Ltd, London 12TS385, 1978) - and in the album notes he writes:

"A great song written by my mate Pete Betts, about the good times that were had during his childhood in South Bank, near Middlesborough, after the pubs had closed. These were the days before the television took over the spot where the piano used to stand and people used to sing, rather than listen to records - like yourselves."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They dont write em like That anymore
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 06:49 AM

Hiya Susanne,

I'm abit late in replying !!!!
Re:- your question
A bold audience is watchin' while Tony is botchin' (?)
And missin' an easy card trick (?)

The verb " to botch " is probably slang.
Common usage is that a "botched job", is a job which has
not done very well, or skillfully .

Therefore Kenny ( not Tony) who actually could normally
perform interesting card tricks - but because of the
effects of TOO MUCH BEER was "botchin and messing-up
easy card tricks".

I hope that makes it clearer for you and thankyou very
much for your interest in the song - I hope it has given
you some pleasure .

Incidentally - I only found out about this web Site last night - hence the delay in replying to your query.

Cheers ,

Pete

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They dont write em like That anymore
From: nutty
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 09:37 AM

Glad you've found Mudcat, Pete ...... You should post the lyrics of the rest of your wonderful songs.
It is great when songwriters take the time to make sure that posted lyrics are correct .....good on ye.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They dont write em like That anymore
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 10:09 AM

Hi Pete

Glad you've found mudcat - why not become a member - it's free - then you won't have to be "Guest".

Did you ever get to the old Eston Folk Club at "The Cleveland Bay" in the late 60s ? I can remember some great nights there. I was very sad when Vin gave me the sad news about Fred Ingani's death some time back.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They dont write em like That anymore
From: RoyH (Burl)
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 12:01 PM

Hello Ralph Weirauch, I believe we have met. At an Edinburgh festival many years ago. I tried to pm you bbut you were'nt listed. Send me a pm please. Or my email [e-mail]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Joe Offer
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 07:38 PM

DT CORRECTION??? - I'd guess the phrase is "drunk as a newt, right? I don't know what a "neut" is unless it's some kind of eunuch, and I can't picture a drunken newt. All the newts I've known have been quite sober.
Of course, if I were suddenly to become a eunuch, I might think that a darn good reason to get drunk...
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Snuffy
Date: 04 Nov 03 - 08:18 PM

Joe,

The version in the DT is a translation from Pete's original English into Scots, (as sung by Arthur Johnstone from Glasgow), so it may well be a neut in Scotland.

In England it is definitely a newt, and they are never sober.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 11:01 AM

In normal English usage we would usually say "Drunk as a Lord" or "Pissed as a Newt" depending on the company. I wonder if the lyrics have been cleaned up somewhat.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Pete Betts (inactive)
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 11:10 AM

To Snuffy ,Dave , Nutty & Joe,

Where I live ( and probably where you live ) - the Polite and I suppose the correct phrase is "Drunk as a Lord".

Round these parts there is a more common phrase "Pissed as a Newt". Incidentally - why a newt I'll never know ,we've always used it .

I often sing the second phrase ( in relaxed company ) but where I need to be proper, I sing the proper words "Drunk as a newt" and I suppose it's a bit of a secret sign to my mates that I'was still thinking mischeviously.

Yes - remember the Cleveland Bay very well-could tell you a million stories about it .

I still live near it and on rare occasions I have a pint with Tony Vallely. Tony's Dad used to run the Pub at the time of the Folk Club and what a nice man he was to us all.

The pub got redecorated and the folk club room became part of the living Quarters.

The final thing - we'll find out if I'm a Member when I press the "submit message" button.

Cheers to you all.
Pete.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Pete Betts (inactive)
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 12:02 PM

Incidentally ,

I should have said to you all , although Vin's is the best Version I've heard - please remember others who contributed to the song being widely sang , The first - Tony Capstick who sadly died last week, and two fine performers Gary and Vera Aspey who always gave the Chorus "Rock All" whenever they sang it.
I've also got an LP of Arthur Johnson singing it but I think he gave it too much reverence. I think the song is more of a play thing and that the more fun you put into singing it the more fun you (and hopefully the audience ) get from it.

Why are the l's upside down on this Site ? ( When I type the message )- confusing for a duffer like me !!!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: GUEST,nutty
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 12:21 PM

But are they upside down when you read them Pete ??

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 06:06 PM

Well, Mick Pearce used to do a pretty good version at Herga for about 25 years before he moved away. But then, he did come from Middlesbrough in the first place.

Kitty

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 06:16 PM

Pete, I have always been struck by the resemblance in the melody between this song and Kenny Rogers' tearjerker "Lucille".

I have no doubt whatsoever that any resemblance is purely coincidental, but has anybody ever remarked on it before ?

Murray

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Leadfingers
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 08:54 PM

Murray. I sing Shep Wooleys rewrite of 'Lucille' and 'They Dont Sing Em' and IMHO they aint they same tune at all,though there are some similarities.
And welcome to Mudcat Pete and I hope you dont mind me stealing the song from one of Vin's redordings but when you cant write them yourself you get em where ever you can.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: open mike
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 08:27 PM

isn't it (wasn't it) Sheb Wooly?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: GUEST,Peterr
Date: 07 Nov 03 - 12:04 PM

Glad I've the writer at last - I've got an old tape of Gary & Vera at Redditch many moons ago. As Pete Betts says, they made sure the audience gave the song their full attention

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 08 Nov 03 - 09:06 PM

Thanks for the explanations, Pete! I hope you'll stay with Mudcat.
BTW, I've only got Arthur Johnstone's recording. He is a singer in the traditional manner and though I like him enormously, not all his songs stand his style well. However, I always felt he gave this one a very pleasant, homely feel.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Pete Betts (inactive)
Date: 10 Nov 03 - 10:01 AM

Don`t know about the comparison to Lucille,but it`s also been remarked that it's a bit like Dr.Hooks - "Sylvias Mother" or whatever the song title is.
My song preceded that one.
It's one of the big problems of songwriting.

It's important to bounce new tunes of your mates - to ask them have they anything similar before - and almost impossible to have a tune which is absolutely unique and differs in every detail from every other song that was ever written.
Still !!!! - we try.
Cheers all .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Snuffy
Date: 10 Nov 03 - 07:29 PM

I actually heard this on a Radio phone in quiz

"In the song "Sylvia's Mother", what is the daughter's name?"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Pete Betts (inactive)
Date: 11 Nov 03 - 11:42 AM

Phuckedivano

Subject: DT Corr: THEY DON'T WRITE 'EM LIKE THAT ANYMORE
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 02:46 PM

Pete Betts posted a message in another thread (click) that gave the words to this song as he wrote them. Here's his message, with some corrections on format:

Thread #71681   Message #1229119
Posted By: GUEST
19-Jul-04 - 02:18 PM
Thread Name: How to Correct Songs in Mudcat Database
Subject: RE: How to Correct Songs in Mudcat Database

Prize Pedant - please change your handle to Prize Prick, and , Smiler demonstrating an equal level of stupidity in inferring in his / her remark that I lacked a modicum of intelligence.
Such arrogance is truly embarrassing
In the absent of lateral thinking - let me point out that my guest / nickname is derived from my actual Surname and there is no gender connection - I am a male of the species.
Thanks Joe for some intelligent directions.
Right, after that bout of unpleasantness - aroused by unhelpful people, let me explain: -

1. The point is, if I had been looking for the words for this song and I wanted the definitive version, I would have looked in the Database and found some thing which is vastly different from the one I wrote which is the (fairly) widely-sang and known version.
2. I didn't put the song into the Database, I don't know how – I think someone who recorded it may have done.
3. The data base credits the Song to me by Surname only – and assumes – I might be from "The States".
4. I am English – the version posted in the Database has had made many changes to the song to suit his Scottish tongue.
5. There is a thread in Mudcat regarding this Song.
6. The data base version also has something which looks like @music which worries me that someone may be claiming copyright – but it's a song I've shared with many e.g.
Tony Capstick ( x 2 LPs)
Vin Garbutt
Gary and Vera Aspey
Marie Little
Myself and various other good hearted minstrels and is sung in many English speaking gatherings – Folk Clubs and Festivals, in Britain and throughout the world.

In the Thread http://www.mudcat.org/Detail.CFM? Messages__Message_ID=788770
McGrath of Hounslow (amongst others) earns my eternal gratitude for attempting to right a wrong. I tried to attach a file with the correct version, but the preview suggests it hasn't worked so I give you the full song below. I hope you will appreciate the difference in the spirit and content of the words, compared to that in the Database and I hope you will realise why I wish to know, as the Thread says "How to Correct Songs in Mudcat Database"

THEY DON'T WRITE 'EM LIKE THAT ANYMORE
('EE HOW WE COULD SING)
(words and music by Pete Betts)

Dad's drunk again and he's brought lots of men,
And their wives, home from the club,
There's a shortage of beer but you need have no fear ,
Bert's gone round the back door of the pub,
Someone's playing the piana as if using a sledge hammer,
Crucifying "There Goes My Heart",
Then a burst through the door – it's Bert and what’s-more,
He's got the beer, so we're ready to start.

Chorus
'Ee how we could sing, what fun those nights would bring,
Singing for hours on end,
Once we'd found a key - oh! What harmony!
Those boozy voices could lend,
"Heart-of-my-Heart" just for a start,
Or "Walking My Baby Back Home".
When it comes to an end, it's -let's sing it again!,
They don't write 'em like that anymore

Our mam's in the kitchen trying to knock-up a snack,
From the chicken we had this afternoon,
Jack sez "where's the toilet" dad sez "down the back"
By the looks, not a minute too soon!
A laugh goes round the whole house, Jack fell in the coal-house,
Man! He's as drunk as a newt,
But with his face covered black, - he's not taken aback,
He sings "Mammy", and the rest follow suit.

Half past one in the morning, our dad's started yawning,
He's got to be working at six,
A bored audience is watching, while Kenny is botching,
And messing - up easy card tricks,
Still it's time to go now, and dad's got somehow,
To get them all to go home,
And when you're all full of beer, the last thing you'd want to hear,
Is, a tune on his paper and comb!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: GUEST,Betsy
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 03:06 PM

Cheers Joe - I don't properly know my way around these Electronic Pages and I understand there is an amount of etiquette which although unwritten , needs to be acquired by me.
Thanks again.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 03:17 PM

Hi, Pete - I think I have it formatted about right now. Anything else I ought to change?
By the way, I see from above that you're already a registered Mudcatter. Your user name is Pete Betts. If you've forgotten your password and want to log in, send me an e-mail. You don't have to be logged in to post, but it has certain advantages.
All the best to you.
-Joe Offer-
[e-mail]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Betsy
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 04:47 PM

Hi Joe
The Login is no problem but I use 2 Email addresses - and forget what's going on, 'cos, I have another million passwords in my head.I have one at work (in Brazil where I am now ) and one at home in the 'Boro', so, to use "Betsy" with 2 different Emails doesn't seem possible, as the system quite rightly doesn't want 2 people using the same Guest name. That's how it seems anyway - I've told you most of this stuff is beyond me.
I really appreciate your help though - and I'll just splodge on - providing it works.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: They don't write em like That anymore
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 04:58 AM

I'm sure it was an accident, Pete, but you seem to have left out the second line of verse 2, I assume that it should be

From the chicken we had this afternoon.

---

Not Pete's mistake, Dave - Joe forgot to close a line break, and it swallowed the following line. I fixed it now.
Thanks for catching the error.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST,Clare Milne (nee Sullivan)
Date: 06 Oct 13 - 08:24 PM

Kenny in the last paragraph is Ken Gatiss. Ken is my cousin and quite a larrikin.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST,Musket musing
Date: 07 Oct 13 - 02:30 AM

I was having a read through this, thinking yes, I'm sure I must have heard Vin Garbutt sing it. Then I got to the long post above that Joe repeated all those years ago.

Bingo.

I can close my eyes and hear Tony Capstick in The Boundary in Worksop belting it out with a gang of us stood behind him with various banjos and guitars.

Thanks for the memory.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Tradsinger
Date: 07 Oct 13 - 06:23 PM

I recorded this song in the duo "Two Dogs" some years ago and we named our album after the song. Top song, which I still sing regularly. Thanks, Pete.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Betsy
Date: 08 Oct 13 - 04:58 PM

The thing is about song-writing from my point of view is that you write a song for your own pleasure / amusement or to get something off your chest.
I cannot tell you the amount of pleasure I have had because it has given other people pleasure.
Ralf Weihrauch a well respected singer and musician in Germany wrote (above) in Jan 2000 !!!
On December 23rd 2007 he wrote me a wonderful note asking me if he could record the song.
Naturally I said "Yes", and we exchanged a few Emails which put us on a firm friendship footing.
In one of my Emails ( I was probably a little clumsy ) and enquired how a simple little song from the North of England would transpose into a German "setting / scenario " type of thing.

I hope he doesn't mind me cutting and pasting his reply ........

"I used to listen to a folk show BFBS and kept taping it on cassette. The first version I heard was from Tony Capstick and then I heard Vin Garbutt singing it. I don`t know the Scottish Version you mentioned. The more I managed to understand English accents, the more I got into the song.

My family (Great Grandfather, grandfather and his brothers, my Father and uncles and most of my cousins) worked in the Coal mines here in the Ruhrgebiet. We all lived in houses that were built by the Mining Companies and look pretty much the same as the English ones, though we had the toilets inside.
My father plays the accordeon and played in a dance Band for many years. Quite often on Sundays, coming back from the local football pitch, neighbours sat together in our living room, had a lot of beer and then my father took out the accordeon and they starter singing. That was also the case on birthdays in the neighbourhood and other occasions. The only difference is, that he never brought people back from the pub. We had a sort of kiosk at home and and our Cellar always was full of beer
So your song describes something, which took place in my childhood in a very similar way as well. So you probably understand, why your song touches a string in my heart.
I always understood it as a happy song despite all the sentimental points in it."

Anyway - back to me, to this day I'm amazed how songs can cross borders like that and also go around the world without the hype of the Music Industry and it was truly a great Christmas present in 2007.
I've been very privileged to derive so much pleasure and gain loads of friends from a simple little song and I hope it brings pleasure to all those who sing it - whether you're in tune or not when you sing the chorus!!!
All the best to all.
Betsy

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Betsy
Date: 08 Oct 13 - 05:01 PM

You might want to catch Ralf here ....

http://www.ralfweihrauch.de/Musik/They%20Don%60t.mp3

sorry I can't do the "blue clicky"

Betsy

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 Oct 13 - 10:09 PM

Here's a blue clicky for Ralf

A few video clips there of him in action - not including this one, more's the pity.

Great song. Fun, but with a bit more there as well. I think funny songs need that.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 08:26 PM

It has been popular with a number of singers in Scotland, including the late Maggie Cruickshank who used to sing it in our local sessions. I was also at a session in the Borders close to last Christmas, where Peter Parlane sang it: thanks to the annual Paper and Comb championships at Stonehaven Folk Festival, I just happened to have with me in my gig bag a piece of old-fashioned toilet paper and comb,so was able to accompany the final chorus appropriately!

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Noreen
Date: 09 Oct 13 - 08:57 PM

Good thread!

It's always great when the daddy of the song gets involved- thanks Pete!

:)

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 05:17 AM

What a great song this is. I was a floor singer back in the early seventies and loved Gary & Vera. Fairly recently someone gave me a cassette copy of Pete's song.....wonderful. I now do charity fundraising for the Florence Nightingale Hospice Charity here in Aylesbury, singing in the various church, disability, OAP clubs and WI's etc. so I'll give them a dose or two of it. Not sure about the toilet bit though....might have to adapt it :o)
Ron Adams.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Betsy
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 06:00 AM

Hiya Ron ,
If you want a REALLY obscure coincidence , my Mam's sister Amy moved down from the North just before, or, during WWII as labour was urgently needed down there in Aylesbury, doing whatever, probably for the War effort - maybe agriculture. I only met her twice - sometime in the late 50's - they had a big Vauxhall with bench front sheet . Jeez we thought they were really rich. Their married surname was Osbourne.
And as an aside (and because most Brit Mudcatters like reference to Whitby) her husband Tony whilst staying at whitby for a few days described it (approx.) thus " A smashing place - lavverley(sic)- but those facking shite hawks drive me crazy from morning to facking night ".
It was the first time I had heard a grown-up swear whilst directly talking to me and I was astonished / flummoxed and (in private) deeply amused.   
Any have fun with the song
Regards
Pete

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Bugsy
Date: 30 Mar 14 - 08:33 PM

This is a fabulous song and one of my alltime favourites.

I just looked back at my first post of the lyrics on this thread and wonder what I was "On" at the time of posting!?

They're not at all the words I use when I sing it.

Here's the words I use, and apologies to Pete for the discrepancies but after 20-30 years of singing them I don't think I'd be able to change them to the original.

THEY DON'T WRITE THEM LIKE THAT ANY MORE
(Pete Betts)


Dad's drunk again and he's brought lots of men
And their wives back home from the pub
They've a shortage of beer but you need have no fear
Bert's gone round the back door of the club
Someone's playing a piano as if using a sledgehammer
And crucifying 'There Goes My Heart'
And there's a burst through the door, and it's Bert and what's more
Hes' got the beer, so we're ready to start

Chorus:
And ee, how we could sing, what joy those nights would bring
Singing for hours on end
Once we'd found the key - oh what harmony
Those boozie voices could lend
"Heart of My Heart", just for a start
"Walkin' My Baby Back Home"
And when it comes to an end it's "let's sing it again"
They don't write them like that any more

Ma's in the kitchen tryin' to knock up a snack
From the chicken we had this afternoon
Jack says, "Where's the toilet?" Ma says, "Out the back,"
And by the look - not a minute too soon
Then a laugh shakes the whole house, Jack's fell in the coalhouse
And man, he's as drunk as a newt
But with his face coloured black, he's not taken aback
He sings "Mammy" and the rest follows suit

Half past one in the mornin', and Dad's started yawnin'
He's got to be workin' by six
A bored audience is watchin' whilst Kenny is botchin'
And messin' up easy card tricks
Ah but it's time to go now, and Dads got the knowhow
To make 'em all want to go home
'Cos when you're all full of beer the last thing you want to hear
Is a tune on his paper and comb.


Cheers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Betsy
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 06:27 PM

Hi Bugsy,
Who is going to notice "discrepancies" - and what are they in any case ?. They're just nuances which make you feel closer to a song and we all do it whether we're singing, this, that or the other.
We do it to personailse it ,to make it feel comfortable , like an ould jacket or a pair of jeans and from the moment you start to perform it (any song by the way) you put YOU into the delivery to your audience whether it be to a house full or to a grandchild who needs quietening down with a little song.
May I wish you lots of fun and great choruses in your "deliveries".

Cheers Betsy

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST,Betsy Fan
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 06:35 PM

Pete Betts hes should be Pete Best, he is the best.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Bugsy
Date: 31 Mar 14 - 09:50 PM

Yet another Cockup for me to apologuise for.

I Must be getting old!
CHeers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Betsy
Date: 01 Apr 14 - 07:49 AM

You're having a bad day Bugsy.....
Pete Best was the drummer before Ringo Starr ....

I cannnot complain - I have Senior moments !!!!
Cheers

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Bugsy
Date: 02 Apr 14 - 06:23 AM

My senior moments seem to be getting more frequent by the week Pete. Soon I'll be as bad as our mutual friend Fin Grabbut.

CHeers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST,Brian Peters
Date: 02 Apr 14 - 07:45 PM

Hey Betsy, so this is one of yours! I remember hearing it sung by a floor singer in a London folk club, in the company of an exile from Ashington who had recently lost her mother. By the end she was weeping. "That's just the way it was."

Good job, Pete.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST,Guest Betsy
Date: 03 Apr 14 - 07:40 PM

Hiya Brian,
Jeez the last time I saw ya was( I think ) in O'Kellys in Groningen.
I still follow your progress and I hope you're doing well.
I'll tell the Wilsons I was "talking" to ya - Good Luck
Betsy.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST,Ron Adams
Date: 22 Mar 17 - 07:43 PM

Hallo, Pete, Sorry, three years late in replying. Great story !!

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Bugsy
Date: 23 Mar 17 - 04:25 AM

Sad to say Ron, Betsy (Pete Betts) is no longer with us.

Cheers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 23 Mar 17 - 09:13 PM

Yes, I had heard that too: sad news. But the song and the paper-and-comb playing goes on!

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST,Taff of the North
Date: 21 Feb 19 - 04:57 PM

I have just re-typed an "old" tatty copy of the song to send to my friends in a (70+) guitar group. I found this thread and enjoyed the comments.

Why did I look for my old copy? Last night at the "Pot and Glass", Egglescliffe, it was the final song which everyone enjoyed and sang along to. People were singing it as they left, including a lady who seemed to have some dementia problem, good songs stay in the memory.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: rich-joy
Date: 21 Feb 19 - 07:41 PM

Always a good song in an "UGLE" (however it is spelt!!), at the end of a Folk Club night.

Here is Paul Lawler's version in Darwin, NT (Oz) from the 80s :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7PsCsWL6Pk
It comes in as Track 10 at at 34:24 (linked in description).

ENJOY!
R-J (Down Under)

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST,Ron Adams
Date: 27 May 20 - 05:14 PM

To Bugsy....thanks for that, So sorry to hear about Pete ( and I'm late yet again ! )

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 28 May 20 - 07:09 PM

The paper and comb goes on - see my post of 9th Oct 2013! Stonehaven Folk Festival still have the annual World Paper and Comb Championships (sadly no festival this year, thanks to Covid-19) - which keeps my friend and myself supplied with standard sized combs with old-fashioned toilet paper on which to play at the appropriate moment in the song: it is now almost expected of us by some in the know! A paper and comb in every bag!

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: The Sandman
Date: 29 May 20 - 02:38 AM

rip Betsy, in answer to your question
It is a Scottish expression developed after the habit of using newts to test the strength of whisky, rather in the way that that Mexican beer is tested using a worm. The idea is that if the newt is dead before it hits the bottom of the bottle, the whisky is strong enough.

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: GUEST,clemdane you tube
Date: 11 Jan 21 - 08:17 AM

Has anybody got a recording of this?
I recorder AJ way back in the 70's
Clem

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: cnd
Date: 11 Jan 21 - 08:20 PM

You can see a recording here: https://youtu.be/W7PsCsWL6Pk?t=2064

Subject: RE: Origins: They Don't Write 'Em Like That Anymore
From: JHW
Date: 12 Jan 21 - 05:56 AM

Well done Pete (RIP) something you will be remembered for. People may be forgotten once those who remembered them are gone but a Song is a lasting memorial. Indeed, ee how we could sing - singing for hours on end.