Travelling comical shop

Subject: Travelling comical shop
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 17 Nov 24 - 11:30 AM

A bit of a challenge for music hall experts. I've been reading the autobiography of Warren J Bruce, who worked his way up from messenger boy to Assistant Docks Manager of the Manchester Ship Canal. In his early days (he started work aged 14 in 1894) the office lads used to get together in the "dirty and bug ridden canteen" when they had a bit of a break, and sing songs round a piano. He quotes one of the songs:

She wore a belt whenever she felt a pain in her gooseberry bush,
A commercial vest to protect her chest from cannons on the cush.
She took chloride of lime every time to cure the pippety pop,
Until she became in the what's-it's-name
A travelling comical shop.

Cannons on the cush - that's from billiards I think. It's not exactly Milton, is it?

Subject: RE: Travelling comical shop
From: maeve
Date: 23 Nov 24 - 05:33 PM

I'm not sure what information you want, but this came up quickly:

https://genius.com/The-wolfe-tones-travelling-doctors-shop-lyrics
Travelling Doctor’s Shop Lyrics
Oh, I want to tell ya of a friend of mine, she's always ill
She always thought she had a sort of serious complaint
Whatever the remedy was
She always took a dose
For to cure her ill, she bought some pills
And bought them by the gross

[Chorus]
And she wore a belt whenever she felt
The pain in her diddly push
A comical vest to save her chest
From common cold or the cush
She drank quinine and spirits of wine
To cure the pip-i-dy pop
Till she became a what's-the-name
A travelling doctor's shop (Yeoo!)

Well, she thought she had the measles
And the stankers and the aches
And varicose veins and arteries' lames
And sure there's no mistake
Shivers and shakes and pains and aches
From her head down to her toes
And a multitude of handkerchiefs
To stop her runny nose
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[Chorus]
And she wore a belt whenever she felt
The pain in her diddly push
A comical vest to save her chest
From common cold or the cush
She drank quinine and spirits of wine
To cure the pip-i-dy pop
Till she became a what's-the-name
A travelling doctor's shop

Well she had a face which was a disgrace
To humanity that's for sure
And a big long nose which I suppose
Just seemed to grow and grow
Little beady eyes, I tell no lies
The ugliest woman I've seen
You think that's bad or maybe sad
A nightmare not a dream

[Chorus]
And she wore a belt whenever she felt
The pain in her diddly push
A comical vest to save her chest
From common cold or the cush
She drank quinine and spirits of wine
To cure the pip-i-dy pop
Till she became a what's-the-name
A travelling doctor's shop
Well, she used to wear a nose machine
Whenever she went to bed
And tied herself to the window frame
In case they'd find her dead
And foreign influenz-ia would scare her heart to death
She greased her hair and tinned some air
For what, we don't know yet

[Chorus]
And she wore a belt whenever she felt
The pain in her diddly push
A comical vest to save her chest
From common cold or the cush
She drank quinine and spirits of wine
To cure the pip-i-dy pop
Till she became a what's-the-name
A travelling doctor's shop

Subject: RE: Travelling comical shop
From: maeve
Date: 24 Nov 24 - 05:01 AM

Without the unintended extras:

Travelling Doctor’s Shop Lyrics
Oh, I want to tell ya of a friend of mine, she's always ill
She always thought she had a sort of serious complaint
Whatever the remedy was
She always took a dose
For to cure her ill, she bought some pills
And bought them by the gross

[Chorus]
And she wore a belt whenever she felt
The pain in her diddly push
A comical vest to save her chest
From common cold or the cush
She drank quinine and spirits of wine
To cure the pip-i-dy pop
Till she became a what's-the-name
A travelling doctor's shop (Yeoo!)

Well, she thought she had the measles
And the stankers and the aches
And varicose veins and arteries' lames
And sure there's no mistake
Shivers and shakes and pains and aches
From her head down to her toes
And a multitude of handkerchiefs
To stop her runny nose

[Chorus]
And she wore a belt whenever she felt
The pain in her diddly push
A comical vest to save her chest
From common cold or the cush
She drank quinine and spirits of wine
To cure the pip-i-dy pop
Till she became a what's-the-name
A travelling doctor's shop

Well she had a face which was a disgrace
To humanity that's for sure
And a big long nose which I suppose
Just seemed to grow and grow
Little beady eyes, I tell no lies
The ugliest woman I've seen
You think that's bad or maybe sad
A nightmare not a dream

[Chorus]
And she wore a belt whenever she felt
The pain in her diddly push
A comical vest to save her chest
From common cold or the cush
She drank quinine and spirits of wine
To cure the pip-i-dy pop
Till she became a what's-the-name
A travelling doctor's shop
Well, she used to wear a nose machine
Whenever she went to bed
And tied herself to the window frame
In case they'd find her dead
And foreign influenz-ia would scare her heart to death
She greased her hair and tinned some air
For what, we don't know yet

[Chorus]
And she wore a belt whenever she felt
The pain in her diddly push
A comical vest to save her chest
From common cold or the cush
She drank quinine and spirits of wine
To cure the pip-i-dy pop
Till she became a what's-the-name
A travelling doctor's shop

Subject: RE: Travelling comical shop
From: GUEST,PMB
Date: 24 Nov 24 - 09:59 AM

Thanks, I wonder where the song was between 1894 and 1974? And the old fella didn't do too badly, remembering it after 60 years- it was written in 1954, his memoirs weren't published till 1990 and then in an almost home industry style.

The song itself, as I said, not high poetry, the music hall type that hints at "forbidden" words without actually mentioning them. Just the thing to appeal to a Victorian 14 year old who's just started work. Remember Auntie Vera in the Giles cartoons?