BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Feb 26 - 04:58 PM

I just came across this lovely article & just had to share it

The tide takes away his work each day, but learning to let go has transformed this artist

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: r.padgett
Date: 05 Feb 26 - 02:05 AM

Andrew Mountbatten Windsor ~ oh dear the pressure must be unbearable ~ yes I know!

I wont say the obvious ~ some one suggested a flit to a far away place

Ray

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 02 Feb 26 - 04:34 PM

Thanks Ray. I agree: it's not pleasant reading. My Ma-in-Law was a lovely lady, with a few quirky aspects including her sense of humour, but very clever with arts and crafts, and very loving towards her family and her dear, departed husband. That song is totally not her.

I can think of so many other pieces of music or songs which would have paid a fitting tribute to her. She loved Andre Rieu's music, and I've been listening to a couple of Sandy Denny albums in my car this week and when her beautiful song Like an Old Fashioned Waltz came on, I cried partly because it is about flowers. (Note: Ma-in-Law was a florist at one stage in her life.)

Oh well, I'll just have to let go and listen to the music myself as a tribute to her.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: r.padgett
Date: 02 Feb 26 - 03:59 AM

I am not a Cohen fan and yes Helen this verse is a man's fantasy and doesn't make pleasant reading

Ray

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 30 Jan 26 - 01:32 PM

This is the verse of Hallelujah which annoyed me:

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

But, I find Leonard Cohen really annoying to listen to anyway - sorry to all his fans - so it was unpleasant for me from the get-go, even though it was sung by someone else. If it had been Jeff Buckley it might have been a bit better for me, but still a strange choice of song for a funeral. The funeral home actually has it as one of a few recommended songs or pieces of music. Very strange to me.

As for clearing out stuff: well done, keep up the good work SRS. That issue is what wakes me up in the middle of the night because we have a shed full of stuff to throw out. I'm thinking the only way to really tackle it is to call in the junk removers.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Jan 26 - 10:31 AM

Hallelujah has so many verses that they're never all sung in one performance. Did they choose the typical ones you recognize?

I'm slowly clearing out extra stuff here in order to remove that chore from my kids (decades from now, I hope) and to give me more use of the whole house. I take my eWaste to the university library where they have a large bin, there is nothing here in my village that accomplishes the same thing, but I've reached the point where I've decided that whether or not I can lift and carry all of the stuff (tote bags or backpack), I'd look like a fool doing it. I have ordered myself a folding utility wagon and will be known as the old woman with the wagon as I continue my activities, but pull along rather than carry in a backpack (I'll still hike with a pack, but how long I plan to travel and how much I carry is for future cogitation).

I think this falls under the category of 'keep doing what I want and figure out how to do it without hurting myself.'

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 30 Jan 26 - 03:57 AM

Yesterday Hubby and I watched his Mum's funeral on the online streaming video from the funeral parlour. It was a very strange feeling not being able to travel up the coast to attend in person, but one of his nieces and her husband also could not make it due to health issues.

She was a good woman, clever, funny, good at a lot of different crafts, and she loved butterflies. At present we have a little tribute shelf for her with photos, a craft item she made for me, and a stained glass butterfly lamp I bought for her which I had given back to me when she moved from her house to the nursing home.

An odd moment was the choice of Leonard Cohen's song Hallelujah, sung by an uncredited male singer. The lyrics of that song are a bit confronting in parts. An odd choice, IMHO.

A beautiful piece of music was an unaccompanied choral rendition of Amazing Grace with melodic variations in each verse and beautiful harmonies. It was also uncredited but I would love to know who the singers were. Different singers took the solos in each verse.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: r.padgett
Date: 30 Jan 26 - 01:40 AM

The Big T's sailing down the Alley Alley O ~ on way to intimidate the Ayatollahs # be careful they are not a timid race and who is he anyway?

Ray

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 26 Jan 26 - 02:22 AM

Thanks keberoxu & Jennie.

Weather extremes across the world. Scary! I just saw a news headline saying that some places in outback and south-east Australia will hit almost 50 deg C, and I know that won't be just on one day. It will be for a few days.

It makes sense for places like Coober Pedy in South Australia to have homes and hotels etc built underground where some of the older, now abandoned opal mines were. That's one way to escape the searing sun. I have visited there but I haven't seen the underground places.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: JennieG
Date: 26 Jan 26 - 12:33 AM

Helen, both of those songs are lovely.

Looking at reports of weather in Toronto, Canada, and thinking of our son who has been living there for over 20 years now. Their weather is the opposite of our heat, right now.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Jan 26 - 05:59 PM

Condolences to Helen and hubby on mother-in-law's passing.

My part of southern New England is coming up on ten inches of snow,
and it isn't ended yet, the snowfall.
At least we seem to have been spared the ice storm further south.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 06:06 PM

Thanks SRS. I suggested the train because the usual Christmas plan, before she went into the nursing home, was for Hubby to drive up with me, celebrate the family gathering and then next morning I would catch the train back and he could spend more time with his family. It worked well.

The look I got from him when I suggested the train was a look of horror, but the last time he caught a train was decades ago and they were affectionately known then as the Red Rattlers - clackety-clack and a rough ride. The express long distance train is a smooth ride but I really don't know for sure whether it would feel ok for him, although he could walk around a bit as needed.

We can travel up another time to catch up with the family. Some cousins live down south but I haven't seen them more than a couple of times in the 25 years since we were married. [Side note: a few of his close family are a bit challenging to deal with, IMHO, but some of the others are worth spending time with.]

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 05:46 PM

Helen, I'm sorry that your husband isn't able to tolerate the long drive to the funeral. Do you think there will be family members there (sometimes they are a form of family reunion)? Are there any other methods of transit that would involve less sitting? A train or flight?

Our competing temperature extremes this week are challenging northern and southern hemisphere Mudcatters. The Texas power grid is supposed to be more robust after the 2021 catastrophic failure; even if it is in good condition along my side of the street we all have our fingers crossed that freezing rain doesn't take out limbs in the trees along the right-of-way where the power lines run (along the creek behind our houses, where they never go in to thin out the risky trees in the way they do along streets).

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 05:15 PM

And we sang this at Mum's funeral as well:

Jo Stafford & Gordon MacRae - Whispering Hope

Another uplifting and beautiful song.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 05:05 PM

Thanks Jennie. He has been surprisingly calm about it but his Mum has been not of this world for many years. She loved butterflies, so I think of her sitting in Heaven's garden, watching the butterflies with her loving husband who passed away about 30 years ago. I never met him.

For my Mum's funeral 26 years ago we sang this hymn:

I Come to the Garden Alone

so that song has been playing in my head this week for Hubby's Mum.

I looked at the Bureau of Meteorology's
MetEye temperature forecast map and Central Oz is going to be like a furnace and you will get the eastern edge of it for a few days. Scary! Especially as you are on the cooler highlands so it will be more of a shock than for us down here.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 03:49 PM

Yes, Helen, we're still here - beyond the Sandstone Curtain! Today's forecast here is for 40 deg.

Sad news about your hubby's mum, but a long drive while in pain is not good. Having the funeral streamed, at least, will mean he doesn't miss it completely.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 01:24 PM

Beyond the black stump, eh Sandra?! What about anything north of the Sydney Harbour Bridge, which would include Jennie and me? (That's if Jennie still lives where I think she does - northwest of here. :-)

The forecast is that the temperature will get up to 33 deg C here today only but that is not anywhere near as bad as the 40 deg C couple of days we had a few weeks ago.

I hope everyone is well prepared for weather extremes, wherever you are.

Briefly, I have been going through a bit of a challenging time here. Hubby had a fall a couple of weeks ago and although he is walking around he has to take it all very carefully. Meanwhile I am doing all the running around for him. He didn't leave the house for almost ten days but he has been out a few times in the last week. I think the walking around is helping a bit but he isn't due for another X-ray for another month. Meanwhile his Mum has had worsening dementia for many years and looked like she would not be long for this world when we saw her last. She passed away this week but because of Hubby's minor back injury he can't endure a nearly four hour drive up the coast to go to her funeral. Luckily the funeral place will be streaming the service so we will be able to watch it from home. It would be hard to miss your own Mother's funeral but he seems to be holding up at present.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 05:08 AM

Picky, picky!

Anything past the Blue Mountains is Outback to us Harbour City people.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 04:23 AM

Not the "Outback", Sandra - we're a long way from the outback! We live inland, only a few hours west of the coast, in north west New South Wales.

As the song says, Australia is a big country.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 03:51 AM

Jennie lives in the Outback, where temperatures are higher than the coast. Here around Sydney Harbour we're expecting 28-34 (82-93) in the next 7 days. About 10min ago, at 7 30pm Sataurday our reading was 23.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: r.padgett
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 03:50 AM

UK has bad weather winds, cold and rain/snow for a while

Starmer and news upset at DJT's comments about US not being supported by deaths in Afghanistan and not enough support from other countries including UK ~ uproar and the "armless and legless" in UK very upset, of course!!

WE in UK have been fighting in Afghanistan and alluded to by Rudyard Kipling among others "The Malabar's in harbour~~" "the time expired waiting for his orders for to sail" up to six years conscription it seems

DJT looking for the EU countries to increase armed forces and points at US bearing brunt of Ukrainian conflict V Russia quite true

Greenland and Denmark will ultimately concede on access by US to minerals initially by exploration ~ hope for peace

Ray

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Jan 26 - 03:04 AM

Meanwhile in Oz, keberoxu, we are preparing for a seven-day heatwave with temps reaching 40 deg C - 104 deg F for those of you who still use old money - and above.

In my book summer is to be endured, not enjoyed.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 23 Jan 26 - 10:55 AM

As the storm looms I'm taking the steps to be comfortable through the next three icy cold days. Took a shower and washed my hair (while I don't shower daily and I wash my hair about every 4-5 days, I don't like to shower when it's super cold just because) so I can stand myself by the end of the weather event. Laundry washed so I have enough clean underwear and socks all weekend. Hoping the power stays on because the bidet in the master bath has a heated seat and heated water and that is so much better than a cold seat and just paper. :)

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Jan 26 - 05:27 PM

Keb, good to have the groceries in place! That storm is sprawling across the US; we're expecting our share of it to shut things down starting late Friday or early Saturday. It takes barely a thin layer of ice down here for drivers to slither all over the place. At least hopefully your populace are less prone to panic and your municipalities take better care of the roads.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: keberoxu
Date: 22 Jan 26 - 01:48 PM

My region is expecting a really large snowstorm which will strike on Sunday and continue into Monday. It could shut things down for a while.
I just got in some more groceries.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 17 Jan 26 - 02:11 PM

MaJoC, I finally remembered the name of the UK TV series about family disputes about a will. It is called I, Jack Wright.

[A convoluted method for remembering was: woke up suddenly to a violent midnight thunderstorm, couldn't get back sleep, went to the computer, re-read some of the posts in this thread, finally tried to go back to sleep, then trying, trying to remember any of the actors' names in the show. Bingo! Gemma Jones and John Simm. Both brilliant as always. Apart from a couple of other actors whose faces were familiar, the rest were new to me. Then I finally went back to sleep.]

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: r.padgett
Date: 17 Jan 26 - 12:11 PM

So much gerrymandering going on and I am denied access to facebook and X is being divisive and censoring posts is this down to MCAfee? in place and settings?

The world and me are mad ~ I am furious

UK local elections can cause some curious behaviour

I am just afloat btw? they would prefer me dead it seens

Ray

No no I'm ok thanks

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Jan 26 - 09:31 AM

The only trouble I have to complain about is that,
where I live, the Wi-Fi is down.
IN order to get on the Internet, I have to drive a few miles.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: r.padgett
Date: 17 Jan 26 - 07:38 AM

I live in Barnsley as many know and I have few places to record my Saturday adventure on 17 Jan 2026

Went to look round new Youth facility open day ~ got there for 1025 and was told not open until 1100 am

Came back and stood ~ went in and nothing untoward saw inside before being accosted by a bouncer ~ I was told I could not be there #full of youths and parents etc

I was escorted to the door ~ was not happy at all and told bouncer not to touch as he flicked my clothes

So after some choice no swearing words felt vey unhappy ~ long story short checked the advert and yes adults must be accompanied by a child

So sorry ~ I had not realised this but should have been told much earlier

Ray

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 12 Jan 26 - 11:50 AM

Thanks SRS & MaJoC.

The service was not a funeral but a memorial two months after my Aunt's passing, and that service probably would not have happened if I had not jumped up and down in every relevant direction - politely but with great determination and knowing my Aunt, I think she would have approved of my actions. And yes, I am assuming that she left all her worldly possessions and money to her side of the family as she and my Uncle had no children. I assume that the will has already been processed. And yes, I am still not happy about my family not even being told about the significant events in my Aunt's life in the last year including that she had passed away, but I am letting it all go now. I have spat my last feather on this series of unfortunate events.

MaJoC, sometime in the last year I saw a very good UK TV drama and the plot is very similar to your wife's family events. I can't remember the name of the series or even who the actors were, but it will come to me.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 12 Jan 26 - 11:08 AM

I'm relieved the funeral went well. I won't bore you with the full details of Herself's uncle's funeral, as it's Herself's saga*; suffice it that his second wife's family hijacked not only his life (and his money), but also the narrative in the eulogies. Cue much spitting of feathers.

* Herself comes from farming stock. They don't hold grudges: they tend them lovingly, and hand them down in their wills, yea, unto the Nth generation.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Jan 26 - 10:38 PM

Thanks for the update, Helen! I'm glad it went well.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 10 Jan 26 - 10:00 PM

Just to close my little family story, I went to the memorial service for my Aunt yesterday. The church was full, mostly women but also a number of men among the crowd. My side of the family were there, and I we finally met some of my Aunt's side of the family. (They live down south and there have not been many occasions where the two sides of the family have met.)

I had a lovely chat with some of the other side, and with my sister, her Hubby and one of her sons and his wife, and also some cousins I have not seen for a few years.

I can finally let go of all those feelings (e.g. frustration, anger, disbelief, etc) that I had and remember the good things in her life.

We have all gathered together and commemorated her life, and her niece gave a good eulogy with a few laughs added about what a strong personality she was i.e. strong willed, pushy, determined, etc.

The bad news is that currently there are a lot of bushfires in Australia so that is the big focus, although luckily our local area has been spared. The south eastern state of Victoria seems to be the worst hit area.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Jan 26 - 05:19 PM

My neighbors across the street still have a pile of dirt in the yard (excavated during sewer line repair) and I think it's time to offer a food gift, so I'll do a one-two package of mashed sweet potatoes and cinnamon rolls. (I promised the rolls to another friend also, so it's past time to make them). It also gives me a chance to catch up and learn if the work is nearing completion.

As 2026 unfurls itself in spectacularly grim fashion it is possible to feel like any individual can't make a difference. To be occupying space and going through the daily routine is insufficient. I have signed myself up for two marches this month, but beyond the public display, will resume writing to my representatives. I've sent my annual letter requesting my absentee ballots (that must be mailed way early now to be sure they are postmarked in time). It feels like the two steps back slide while attempting one step forward. When a mom in her family minivan can be blown away in the street by the Trump dementors for no damn good reason, we're all equally at risk.

Trying to stay out of trouble, but it seems to be coming to us.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Jan 26 - 10:07 PM

great website - I've given my sister a list (email) but a book is much better.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 06 Jan 26 - 08:14 PM

Thanks JennieG. No I haven't heard of it but it looks like we'll have to get a copy and put our plans into action.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: JennieG
Date: 06 Jan 26 - 08:03 PM

Helen, have you heard of The Bottom Drawer Book? We keep meaning to buy our copies - that's on our list - it seems a very practical idea.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 06 Jan 26 - 04:06 PM

Thanks keberoxu. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Jan 26 - 03:33 PM

Helen, I'm so sorry for your loss and the way it was (not) conveyed.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 10:43 PM

MaJoC, I'm sad for you father's time in that place. It is not easy finding the best place to live at that stage in life, and the difference between one home and another may not even become obvious until after the deal is done. When my Dad was in hospital for a couple of weeks and said he wanted to move to a retirement village which he knew was a good one, the complexities of the paperwork were overwhelming. He passed away soon after, before we had to navigate all of that. He would probably be happy with that because he always said he wanted to stay in the house he was born in to the end of his days. He achieved that.

I think I need to take inspiration from Sir Pterry (Pratchett) and organise my end of life plan while I still have my full capabilities. I'll also have to get the DNR (Do Not Revive) tattoo on my chest.

I think that that is the really sad thing about my Aunt. I tried to start a conversation with her a couple of years earlier to see if she would investigate her options for retirement living but she abruptly and firmly changed the subject. I think she assumed she would still be firmly in control of her life to the end. By the time her dementia kicked in, she had no say at all in the matter.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 05:16 PM

Small PS to the tale about my father: him dying at 99-and-three-quarters neatly scuppered any plans the alleged care home may have made to use his hundredth birthday as a PR stunt, which he would have detested.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 04:44 PM

Helen, it hurts to read that account of what your aunt was subjected to, and apparently the news of her health blocked from people who might have made her life more comfortable. Let me tell you a story that I am reminded of when reading that.

In ~ 1994 I drove east to attend a family estate sale in Pennsylvania, at the home of the three great aunts I got to meet in the years after their sister, my grandmother, (who I never met) passed away. I'd gotten to know them via letters in the late 1960s, and by 1975 was able to meet them in person when taking a train trip during my university holiday break. Later I spent several years living in the east and visited them at their summer home (near Williamsport) and they were lovely and interesting. The last survivor was in a nursing home at the time of the sale, dementia in full force, but she remembered me (thought I was my father's wife, oops). I was travelling with my youngest, an 18-month toddler who was still nursing and it was an adventure.

When I got to the nursing home it was a sunny morning and she was with others in a large glassed conservatory with chairs lining the windows. We visited for more than an hour, but the interesting thing was that my son attracted so much attention. Everyone wanted to say hello, and he ended up running around the room laughing, just out of reach of everyone seated in those chairs—they would reach out to touch his hair or brush his sleeve as he giggled and ran and they laughed back.

Our visit to my great aunt Thelma brightened the lives of a couple of dozen strangers to us. I'm sure she didn't remember my visit much after that, or that I had my son with me, but I have a memory of a whole bunch of people charmed by a little boy in a sunny room. And I offer this as a hope that your aunt had some days like that also. It takes a village, and if you weren't able to be there, I hope others were.

XOXO

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 04:05 PM

goodonya, Helen

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 02:57 PM

Thank you Sandra, MaJoC and The Sandman. :-)

I think the Aged Care place is a good one, but my strongly independent Aunt would have been raging against the machine and the family which put her there against her will. It probably did accelerate her decline but she was 98 years old, so a very good innings and her dementia was getting worse with no chance of going anywhere but downhill from there.

My rage against the machine is not being told about all of this as it happened, step by step, and even not being told that she had passed away.

I'm hoping that after the memorial service I might calm down a bit and focus on appreciating the life she lived and the people she cared about.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: The Sandman
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 02:34 PM

Helen,my sympathies.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 01:51 PM

I sympathise more than is comfortable, Helen: for the last months of my father's life, he'd been parked in a place which simply couldn't be called a "care home" without contravening the Trades Desciptions Act,* and I'm convinced that it accelerated his decline. There is still residual bad blood on my side of the family, over a year later. (It was entirely fitting, and would have suited my father's sense of humour and of justice, that he died two days before the next month's payment to the alleged "care home" was due.)

* Good to view, hell to endure; expensive, but cheaply done. The expression "fur coat and no knickers" was used, more than once, by those of us who saw the lack of staff, and of care, behind the glossy front.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 02:48 AM

Thanks Sandra. At the moment I'm totally out of balance, but I am sure it will come, especially after the memorial service is completed.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 02:21 AM

what a saga, I'm hoping the balance doesn't take too long to find.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Helen
Date: 05 Jan 26 - 01:14 AM

Sorry. This is a bit of a long story.

Just letting you know about a family issue which has been going on for a couple of months - well, actually about a year or more. I've been crying about it. The important point here is that I *cry* when I am *angry*! I am *really, really* angry, and have been for weeks.

My Aunt, my Dad's brother's wife, passed away a couple of months ago. I have known her my whole life.

She was a strong woman, could be confronting, but very inspirational and determined in her life. She achieved a lot, but also managed to p1$$ some people off at times. A bit like me, I guess. I'm good at p1$$ing people off. LOL.

I only found out she had passed away when I happened to see one of her neighbours. That neighbour also told me that my Aunt had been hijacked by a couple of relatives on her side of the family. Twice! Once to take her down south and the story was that she "would never be coming back", but she did, and the second time to plonk her unceremoniously and without any warning into an aged care facility due to her worsening dementia.

My relatives never told me any of that. Nothing! Not one measly bit of information! They also didn't tell me when she had become very ill and was in a serious condition in hospital, or that she was dying. I could have gone to sit with her, help her to move on.

They also didn't tell me - or any of my side of the family - that she had passed away. As far as I know she died alone. Again, the neighbour who I see now and then gave me the news. She phoned me to tell me.

For God's sake! What was the family thinking? Do they not care about family at all?

When I contacted my relative on my Dad's side of the family, all I got was side-stepping and very little actual, factual information. That relative told me that my Aunt had already had a private cremation. There was no notice in the local paper until about a week or so later.

I have been chasing it up ever since, especially about the possible memorial service for my Aunt.

Finally, today, two whole months later, I know with absolute certainty that the memorial will be happening this week. Most of my Aunt's friends and neighbours may not even know about it yet. Some have even left Christmas presents at her front door, not knowing that she has passed away.

I will be placing a notice in the local newspaper to make sure as many of her friends and neighbours know about it.

All I can say about this whole shemozzle is - WTF?! WTAF?! What in God's name is going on?

Unbelievable! And do you want to know what I think? It's all about money. Financially, she and my Uncle did all right and I think the vultures have been circling for some time.

I couldn't care less about the money aspect. I care the most about respecting a loved member of my family, a strong, inspirational woman I have known for all of my life. When I was growing up I lived near to them and saw them quite often, but the family on her side lived further away and may have only seen her a few times in their lives. She and my Uncle were a strong, loving part of my family life and also the lives of my father and mother, and my father's family.

My Uncle passed away about 20 years ago. He survived being a WWII prisoner of war in Changi but he was the loveliest person you could ever meet.

His philosophy was you can forgive but you don't have to forget.

I'll have to focus my energy on that philosophy, but it might take me a while to find that balance.

Subject: RE: BS: stay out of trouble thread (stay afloat)
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 26 - 03:31 PM

Tomorrow! Oh, goody! I have a NUCLEAR stress test! Then in about a week, both an endoscopy AND a colonoscopy in the same appointment! “Doctors! There’s a light at the end of the tunnel!”