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Lyr Req: My Grandfather's Clock - parodies

DigiTrad:
GRANDFATHER'S CLOCK
MY GRANDFATHER'S COCK
SEQUEL TO GRANDFATHER'S CLOCK


Related threads:
Info: The clock stopped, never to run again (38)
Who wrote 'Grandfather's Watch' parody? (19)
Lyr Req/Add: My Grandfather's Ferret (Derek Jolly) (35)
Lyr ADD: My Grandfather's Clock (George Formby Sr) (20)
(origins) Origins: Any history on Grandfathers Clock? (51)
Discuss: My Grandfather's Clock (Henry Clay Work) (48)
At what time did Grandfather enter? (12)
Lyr Add: My Grandfather's Ferret (7)


GUEST 20 Mar 24 - 03:10 PM
GUEST 28 Feb 24 - 02:39 AM
The Og 25 Aug 22 - 12:29 PM
Tattie Bogle 18 Aug 22 - 07:42 PM
GUEST,Bob Coltman 18 Aug 22 - 12:26 PM
Joe Offer 15 Aug 22 - 06:42 PM
Mark Ross 05 Jun 11 - 09:27 AM
GUEST,The DramaDaddy 05 Jun 11 - 06:31 AM
Liz the Squeak 27 Jan 00 - 04:40 AM
dick greenhaus 26 Jan 00 - 01:56 PM
Barbara 26 Jan 00 - 12:38 PM
GUEST,Jacob Bloom 26 Jan 00 - 10:47 AM
polesden 26 Jan 00 - 05:22 AM
Liz the Squeak 26 Jan 00 - 04:03 AM
sophocleese 25 Jan 00 - 05:57 PM
GUEST,Jacob Bloom 25 Jan 00 - 05:20 PM
shep 25 Jan 00 - 03:22 PM
MMario 25 Jan 00 - 02:39 PM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 25 Jan 00 - 02:33 PM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 25 Jan 00 - 02:32 PM
Jeep man 25 Jan 00 - 02:29 PM
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Grandfather's Clock - parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Mar 24 - 03:10 PM

My grandfather’s clock was too tall for the shelf
so us all tipped ‘en over on ees side
’Twas a useless old clock - never kicked and barely tocked
So the old bugger gave up and died

90 years without functioning
Sod the clock Stuff the clock
Us tried kicking and punching ‘Im
Sod the clock Stuff the clock
Us was just about to chuck the bugger out
When us come up with a new idea


After some years us all had a bright idea
And worked out exactly what to do
We stood the clock erect which we did effect
By boring a hole in the roof

It worked like a charm but unto our alarm
Fresh new problems began to unfold
Us all gazed at the base
‘cos of course the clock face
was up that hole

90….

This we noticed and so a reflector in the hole
We most scientifically inserted
Unfortunately, you all know as well as we
That the image would be laterally inverted


Whenever the time the was 25 to 9
it appears to be 25 past 4
And obviously, come 9 o’clock we thought ’twas 3
Us could take no more


90…

So the beds we took down from the bedroom to the lounge
and we carted the three piece upstairs
So us don’t go up to bed but us all goes up instead
and go up to sit down in the chairs





Mow according to our friends ’tis like living in Big Ben
but at least we always knew the time
But we very soon found ’twas equally as loud
When the old clock chimed


(a three piece was 2 chairs and a couch)


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Grandfather's Clock - parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Feb 24 - 02:39 AM

Further to Mark Ross's version

My grandfather's cock was too long for his pants
So it dragged 90 yards on the floor
It was longer by far than the old man himself
And it weighed half a hundredweight more.

It was found on the horn
On the day that he was born
And was always his pleasure and his pride
But it dropped, flopped, never to rise again
When the old man died.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Grandfather's Clock - parodies
From: The Og
Date: 25 Aug 22 - 12:29 PM

AS the creator of this chain requested...

Grandfather's Clock (G)                 …Henry C Work (1876)

      1                      5                     1                   4
My grandfather's clock was too large for the shelf,
         1               5                  1      (5)
So it stood 90 years on the floor,
          1             5                   1                  4
It was larger by half than the old man himself,
                1                      5                   1
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more,

It was bought on the morn
          5                        1
of the day that he was born,
                               (2)                  5
And was always his treasure and pride,
          1             5       1                   4
But it stopped short, never to go again,
                1    5      1
When the old man died.

      1
90 years without slumbering….
his life seconds numbering…
          6m          5         1                   4
But it stopped, short, never to go again,
                1    5      1   
When the old man died.

In watching its pendulum swing to and fro,
Many hours he had spent as a boy,
And in childhood and manhood the clock seemed to know,
And to share his both his sorrow and joy,
For it struck 24 when he entered at the door,
With a blushing and beautiful bride,
But it stopped...

It struck an alarm in the dead of the night,
An alarm that for years had been dumb,
And we knew that his spirit was planning its flight,
That his hour of departure had come,
Still the clock kept the time,
With a faint and muffled chime,
As we silently stood by his side,
But it stopped...

Best parody...see above related threads...My Grandfather's Ferret


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Grandfather's Clock - parodies
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 18 Aug 22 - 07:42 PM

My grandfather’s ferret? Got the lyrics somewhere!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Grandfather's Clock - parodies
From: GUEST,Bob Coltman
Date: 18 Aug 22 - 12:26 PM

I recall a full parody titled "My Grandfather's Hat." It dated, I believe, to the 1920s or 30s.

All I recall of it is the first line:

"My Grandfather's hat was too big for his head ..."

I don't think I have any written version, but I will scout around.

Bob


    From https://mudcat.org/Detail.CFM?messages__Message_ID=1555163:
      (Campaign of 1888) His Grandfather's Hat.txt
      AIR -- 'Grandfather's Clock'

      His grandfather's hat is too big for his head,
      But Ben tries it on just the same
      It fits him too quick which has oft times been said
      With regard to his grandfather's fame
      It was bought long ago, and it made a pretty show
      In that jolly 'hard cider campaign'
      But it don't fit even a little bit on Benjamin Harrison's brain


      [Benjamin's Harrison's grandfather, 'Tippecanoe' won the presidency in 1840 as whig.]


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Grandfather's Clock - parodies
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Aug 22 - 06:42 PM

Somebody says I'm supposed to listen the the "Grandfather's Clock" parody by Frank Hayes.

https://genius.com/Frank-hayes-grandfather-clock-lyrics

My grandfather's clock was too large for the shelf
So it stood ninety years on the floor
It was taller by half than the old man himself
Though it weighed not a pennyweight more
And though years would congeal Grandpa's brain to Malt-O-Meal
He'd one wish that would not be denied
For his will
Said
To bury him in the clock
When the old
Man
Died


Now Grandfather's grandfather built him the clock
And he built it like no clock before
But the old so-and-so built it so high and wide
That we can't fit it out through the door!
So when Grandma'd been calmed, and Grandpa had been embalmed
We discovered the clock was too wide:
But the God
Damned
Cadaver had gotten jammed
He was stuck
In-
Side!

Now old Grandpapa's sitting there in the hallway
At 917 Cherry Lane
And he stands, the old cuss, making faces at us
Which we try to ignore just the same
But we still think of him as we, haggard, pale, and grim
Stagger into the cold morning light;
'Cause at odd
Times
He's ringing the blasted chimes
Every God
Damned
Night!

So at three-twenty-two a.m
(BING! BONG! BING! BONG!)
My God, there goes Gramps again
(BING! BONG! BING! BONG!)
At odd
Times
He's ringing the blasted chimes
Every God
Damned
Night!


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Grandfather's Clock
From: Mark Ross
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 09:27 AM

My grandfathers cock
Was too large for his jock,
So it dragged 90 years on the floor,

Mark Ross


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: My Grandfather's Clock
From: GUEST,The DramaDaddy
Date: 05 Jun 11 - 06:31 AM

My grandfather's clock was the best ever made
By the Timex company.
Just like the clock John Cameron Swayze displayed
Last night on the old TV.

Oh it works under water so perfectly,
And still makes a ticking sound.
Which my grandfather tried only this afternoon,
And that's how the old man drowned.


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 27 Jan 00 - 04:40 AM

Bob - similar, but nowhere near as filthy......

LTS


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 26 Jan 00 - 01:56 PM

We have at least one bawdy parody in DigiTrad


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: Barbara
Date: 26 Jan 00 - 12:38 PM

I'm not exactly sure what a "grunge" is, but is it like this?
Grunge in the US just means dirt, filth.(I think)
Blessings,
Barbara


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: GUEST,Jacob Bloom
Date: 26 Jan 00 - 10:47 AM

The Allan Sherman version was only four lines long, and was sung as part of a medley of short parodies of well known folksongs. We've got three of the lines here already, but we're missing the second line. I'll listen to my record as soon as I get the chance, and post it here (if someone else doesn't beat me to it.)


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Subject: ADD: Parody of My Grandfathers Clock
From: polesden
Date: 26 Jan 00 - 05:22 AM

Liz the Squeak, is your version perhaps the same as mine?

My Grandfathers grunge was too big for the house,
So he kept it outside by the door,
It was almost as big as the old man himself,
And it weighed half a hundred weight more,
He would whirl it around with a mighty booming sound,
While my Granny looked on in surprise,
But it stopped, short, never to grunge again,
When the old man died.

Now he's left it to me and its plain as could be,
I'm the pride and the joy of the broads,
Every Michaelmas day, it is there on display,
And it's already won several awards,
I would whirl it around, with a mighty booming sound,
And they would all look around in surprise,
But it stopped, short, never to grunge again,
When the constable's about.

Cheers Bob Merrett


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 26 Jan 00 - 04:03 AM

The only other version I know is rude, so I sha'n't post it here - reply in personal if you want it!!!

LTS


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: sophocleese
Date: 25 Jan 00 - 05:57 PM

OKay, okay, so how did the rest of it go?


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: GUEST,Jacob Bloom
Date: 25 Jan 00 - 05:20 PM

The Allan Sherman version was "My Grandfather's Watch".

And, I think it went "that's how the old man drowned." I don't think Allan Sherman's audience would have been used to the word "sod" being used to refer to a person.


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: shep
Date: 25 Jan 00 - 03:22 PM

You'll probably get hundreds of ordinary replies but here's mine.

Its a snippet from a piss take by Alan Sherman;

O my grandfather's clock was the best ever made by
the Timex Company

O it worked under water so perfectly and it still
made a ticking sound.
Which my Grandfather tried only this afternoon and that's
how the poor sod drowned.....

See Ya


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jan 00 - 02:39 PM

Aggravating, isn't it *grin*?


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 25 Jan 00 - 02:33 PM

Damn, three minutes, still can't beat Joe O!
RtS


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Subject: RE: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 25 Jan 00 - 02:32 PM

From earlier thread on this (use search box to find it) words at Click here
RtS


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Subject: Lyrics for My Grandfathers Clock
From: Jeep man
Date: 25 Jan 00 - 02:29 PM

Sure would appreciate the words and maybe chord progression for this. thanks, Jeep man


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