BS: Jest thread for 2026

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 21 Jan 26 - 11:13 AM

Arghissimo: let's try that again (please fix up, O kind Mudelf) ....
    ----
Apologies for threadbombing* ....

In the comments on an article about Bluetooth pairing bugs, a couple of instances of karmic payback:

I use it on the Bluetooth speakers that some idiots insist on using on trains. After connecting it plays an audio file in English, Arabic and Pushtu of a female voice saying "My son, if only your father had used a condom".

Eldest used to get annoyed with one particular boy on the school bus who insisted in playing unedifying music through a Bluetooth speaker. Eldest reslised that the speaker was in pairing mode immediately after being switched on so would try to get in first, and if successful would play slightly more edifying music. Maybe theme tune from Thomas the Tank Engine or sommat.

Annoying boy apparently never worked out exactly what was going on.

* Herself's watching the news about Davos^†, so I don't have to.

† Neither of us can easily *not* read or pronounce that as "Davros".

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 21 Jan 26 - 11:04 AM

Apologies for threadbombing* ....

In the comments on an article about Bluetooth pairing bugs, a couple of instances of karmic payback:

I use it on the Bluetooth speakers that some idiots insist on using on trains. After connecting it play Herself's watching the news about Davos^†, so I don't have tos an audio file in English, Arabic and Pushtu of a female voice saying "My son, if only your father had used a condom".

Eldest used to get annoyed with one particular boy on the school bus who insisted in playing unedifying music through a Bluetooth speaker. Eldest reslised that the speaker was in pairing mode immediately after being switched on so would try to get in first, and if successful would play slightly more edifying music. Maybe theme tune from Thomas the Tank Engine or sommat.

Annoying boy apparently never worked out exactly what was going on.

* Herself's watching the news about Davos^†, so I don't have to.

† Neither of us can easily *not* read or pronounce that as "Davros".

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 21 Jan 26 - 10:46 AM

In NASA's Artemis II Moon rocket arrives at the launch pad, the image of Artemis II being transported, *very*, *very* *slowly*, to its launch site:

[ ... ] was also sent to us by an individual at a space agency that isn't NASA. They observed that it had been "going around like wildfire."

Quite why Europeans should have a bit of a downer on the US in January 2026, and be poking fun at NASA's Moon rocket, is a mystery to us.

See the picture to gain enlightenment.

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 20 Jan 26 - 01:34 PM

From a discussion on a Royal Navy helecopter drone;

Slightly surprisingly, Britain's only functional attack submarine is being sent to Australia

I wonder what it was convicted of

Insubordination

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Jan 26 - 12:59 PM

A Russian spy, a sexual predator and a billionaire walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “What can I get you, Mr. President sir ?”

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 13 Jan 26 - 12:26 PM

From Comments on Ofcom officially investigating X as Grok's nudify button stays switched on:

The funniest picture in the world, Trump nudified by Grok. Fatal to all that see it, My EYES, MY EYES.

I'm glad I've not seen it, but I'm assuming this is the origin story for Jabba the Hut?

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: Aethelric
Date: 13 Jan 26 - 10:33 AM

There can only be one Universe – simply because “uni” means one.

In the Multiverse there are not Universes – only Verses.

And the Verses go on forever,

A bit like a Leonard Cohen song.

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jan 26 - 11:47 AM

Nigel Farage walks into a pub
Convinces the patrons to set it on fire, and basks in the warmth right outside, beyond the locked front door.

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: Donuel
Date: 11 Jan 26 - 10:45 AM

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Greenland?
Greenland's not for sale.

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jan 26 - 08:51 AM

The new Health Dept. says marijuana can increase saliva production.
RFK says to "spit or get off the pot".

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 06 Jan 26 - 04:13 PM

Just spotted in an ElReg comment, where the discussion veered into units of measurement:

Don't forget the firkin. It's the standard [unit] of error - things are either 2 firkin big or 2 firkin small.

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Jan 26 - 07:42 AM

cartoon

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 03 Jan 26 - 08:34 AM

A side comment on the intelligence of dogs, seen in ElReg:

There are plenty of dopey dog breeds out there ... usually handbag sized.

A manager I used to work with had a Pomeranian that would lose its mind over its own farts ... it would fart and start running around looking for an intruder.

Presumedly said manager is now looking for a dog coat with a silencer.

Subject: RE: BS: Jest another thread
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Jan 26 - 08:16 PM

AI has established the giga watt dollar for its financial transactions.
META News (formerly Facebook News)

An explosion of AI lawsuits have appeared since the creation of the Giga dollar. AI influencers have hired AI lawyers to sue sue AI physicians.
AI META News (formerly META News)

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 26 Dec 25 - 03:47 PM

Subject: BS: Jest thread for 2026

Date: 26 Dec 25


Premature ejaculation can be so annoying

DC

Subject: RE: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: Geoff Wallis
Date: 26 Dec 25 - 01:09 PM

Great! Let's star the new year with a bit of casual sexism.

What a wanker!

Subject: BS: Jest thread for 2026
From: Mr Red
Date: 26 Dec 25 - 10:11 AM

"Take my wife... please".

Henny Youngman 1933 King of the one-liners.