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BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies?
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Subject: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: GUEST,Micca at work Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:33 AM Are their equivalents to Murphys laws for Folkies? You know on the lines of "if anything can go wrong it will" Like if you learn and practice a new tune for a singaround the person before you will sing it Or they will tell you old Joe Bloggs always does that one. Its his song. Or just when you thought things couldn't get worse some drunk sings Danny Boy Any suggestions? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: sophocleese Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:50 AM Or that if you're setting up a small sound system somewhere far from all stores that's the day you will forget some vital plug in. You will be then left alone to entertain people while your partner drives back into to town to get said piece of vital equipment. You will not know, and nobody will have the necessary competence, to tell you that one of the speakers isn't quite working properly. When your partner returns, an hour later, with the chord he will then discover that his pickup doesn't work and he will play into the second mic. and be unable to sing thus leaving you without any harmony. Later, when others have showed up to help, he will head into town to find out that he needs a new battery in his pickup (battery? there's a battery?). By the time he gets back and everything is ready the whole thing is over and everybody has left and you're packing things up again. It was kind of funny, but I check packing a little more carefully now. Just when you go very quiet and intense is when the outside door will bang open for a newcomer. People tune twelve strings during a cappella songs. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Ted from Australia Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:57 AM one lead WILL go short or open circuit one string WILL break one battery WILL go flat AT LEAST Ted
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Amos Date: 02 Feb 00 - 08:35 AM The new song you spent hours perfecting WILL be unappreciated. But on the other hand, they wil suddenly open up and party when you do "Old McDonald". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Skipjack K8 Date: 02 Feb 00 - 08:44 AM 1 At a new session, you launch into the Athole Highlanders in A, to find they are playing it in G. 2. No-one notices anyway 3 Everyone follows the creature that plays one 'a' part and three 'b' parts 4 The creature playing the bum notes shifts blame by staring at you accusingly. Yes, all of the above happened during one incident. Skipjack |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Terry Allan Hall Date: 02 Feb 00 - 08:47 AM Here's my two favorites: If you decide to do a song "your" way, some anal retentive will say, "That's not how WE do it". If you are financially successful in your craft, some wannabe will snub you and/or say you've "sold out".
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Peter T. Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:05 AM Does raise the question: if you drop a folksinger, does he/she land butter side down? Presumably if there is wall-to-wall carpet, 100%; throw rug, 75%; linoleum, 50%. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Midchuck Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:11 AM When you start to tune your guitar, your partners will start playing a tune on banjo and fiddle to warm up. Peter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: MMario Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:14 AM whatever key you sing the song in, the musicians will always know it in a different key. And of course, whenever you tell someone "Sure I know that" it turns out they sing different lyrics or a different tune!
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Bert Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:19 AM When someone tells you 'You sang it wrong' it will be a song that you learned before they were born. You practice a song at home, only to find that, at the performance, you're singing it louder and you need to sing it in a different key. And you don't know those chords and you can't find your capo. You sing a song acapella and some clown plays along and gets the timing all wrong. You spend a lot of time writing songs that you think are meaningful and the ones that are always requested are the silly ones that you just threw together. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Songster Bob Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:23 AM If you're a writer, you will mentally go off on the first-draft tangent of the lyrics while playing the last-draft tune, which eliminated that repeat and shortenend the second line. When you've shifted gears (maybe even re-starting) and get into the second verse, you'll use the wrong rhyme word (from draft four) and be unable to remember what it's supposed to rhyme with. After fumbling through all that, you'll forget the bridge entirely. And when you're finished, someone will say it reminds them of an extremely well-known song that you hate but never noticed the similarity of your song to. And someone else will then say they like it and you should record it! Bob C. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Sorcha Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:34 AM No fixed pitch instrument shall ever be in tune with any other fixed pitch instrument. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Lady McMoo Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:34 AM Haha Midchuck...I recognise that one well! Oh dear, where do I begin...there are almost too many to mention. - a plectrum plus 5 spares (unfortunately all break at once...are they engineered to do that?) - four broken D strings in one gig (why is it always the D that goes?) - in one of his rare attempts to help carry PA equipment, said fiddler drops the speakers on an uneven surface. Unfortunately, they land buttered side down and push the grills into the woofer cones - on another rare occasion he drops a mike stand onto the roof of my week old new car (the one and only I have ever owned) - numerous assorted catastrophies involving the loss of, disappearance of or malfunction of capo d'astras - a relatively new and spreading problem in Irish pubs. Arrive for gig and find you're competing with the big screen football - fiddler wears kilt for one gig on a quite raised up stage and younger members of the audience at the front interestedly peering at the band up are frightened by the "au naturel" look! - are booked to play at a prison only to find convicts have been expecting country and western not Irish I'm sure I'll think of a few more! mcmoo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Rick Fielding Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:42 AM The loudest singer in the room will be the one who is completely off-key. They will sit next to you in a song circle. Or right in front of you if you're on stage. If you say anything to them YOU will be in trouble. One of my favourite quotes: Pete Seeger taught the world to sing...and we'll never forgive him. Rick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Mbo Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:43 AM You spend 5 minutes recording a music track--then to find when you were done that the mike wasn't turned on. Or the headphones were plugged into the mike jack! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:54 AM You type in the answer to a lyrics request only to find Bro Joe or another of the elves has beaten you to it with a smart cut'n' paste. You dredge an answer from your failing memory banks, young Parkes challenges you and when you get home and look it up he was right... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Sorcha Date: 02 Feb 00 - 02:53 PM Instruments are easier to break than fix. Instruments will always break at the worst possible time. It is always the lead instrument that breaks. Anythng will work if you fiddle with it long enought It ain't broke when the repairman looks at it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Bill D Date: 02 Feb 00 - 03:45 PM the words are printed on the ceiling ONLY at home... if you forget a line, the person across from you will know it and mouth it at you...only it's not 'quite' the way you do it |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Amos Date: 02 Feb 00 - 04:00 PM Amos' Law of Iterations of Danny Boy
1. If its Paddy's Day and you've just sung Danny Boy, some drunk will ask you to sing Danny Boy.
2. If you haven't sung Danny Boy in the last thirty minutes, two drunks will ask you to sing Danny Boy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: TerriM Date: 02 Feb 00 - 04:19 PM 1. when someone asks you to sing a song, it's so they can sing over the top of it And 2.they are always off key And 3.they phrase it differently And 4.they know slightly different words And 5. they glare at you accusingly for buggering up their favourite song 6.the amount you get paid is proportional to how uninterested your audience is 7.when you do a pub gig, people there are crazy for karaoke |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Troll Date: 02 Feb 00 - 06:05 PM If it's a song you wrote, the odds are better than even that you'll forget a line. It's always the "G" stirng. troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Wesley S Date: 02 Feb 00 - 06:19 PM Why is it that people who just have to clap along with the beat have no idea where the beat is?? Do you try to stay with the rhythm you started with or follow along with the rhythm impared?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Sorcha Date: 02 Feb 00 - 06:45 PM Wes--isn't that why we have "Clap Leaders"?:>) and the "Danny Boy" is RIGHT ON!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: TerriM Date: 03 Feb 00 - 01:41 PM 7. the quality of the beer is proportional to the distance you have to drive;8.the person who comes in late always needs to know exactly what they have missed in a very loud voice;9.you will have just done the song they wanted to hear.10.the song most requested is always the one you are most heartily sick of doing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Molly Malone Date: 03 Feb 00 - 02:21 PM You regularly play gigs in the same irish pub for months, and some drunk yuppie is still yelling for "Freebird." Or American Pie. The number of irish step dancers waiting in line to dance their half step is exponentially proportional to how long you've already play this reel set.
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Micca Date: 03 Feb 00 - 03:11 PM The person you pour your beer over as you turn from the bar is this evenings star guest/a Famous Folkie/ a journalist/ some one with a very expensive Guitar which you have just filled through the sound hole with draft Guiness or worse Cider (and you can see it lifting the varnish!!!!). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Skipjack K8 Date: 03 Feb 00 - 03:20 PM Micca, did that to Bill Sables last night, in the Jug. His patina wasn't visibly affected , though. Sorry, Bill! Skipjack |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Midchuck Date: 03 Feb 00 - 03:32 PM "Molly Malone" said: "You regularly play gigs in the same irish pub for months, and some drunk yuppie is still yelling for "Freebird." Or American Pie." Actually, the loudest drunk of that sort I ever heard in an irish pub was yelling for "Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother." And it wasn't a yuppie. It was, however, a woman. Or at least a female of some sort. I thought of borrowing the singer's guitar and doing it (my tastes are on the eclectic side), but even after a couple of pints, I was able to realize that that would only make things worse. Peter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Amos Date: 03 Feb 00 - 04:57 PM Is that one in the DT, Peter? SOunds like my kind of song. Right up there with "Rodeo Song". A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Feb 00 - 05:38 PM If you only know three songs, some bastard will have done all three in the time it takes to go to the toilet and the bar. If you buy a ticket in advance to see a guest, and have to take time off work to get to the gig, to get a seat, book a baby sitter 6 months ahead, that will be the day the guest gets a broken fingernail and won't appear. If you go to a festival especially to hear one guest, you will either a)get drunk and miss them; b)get into a mega singaround and miss them; c) get an offer of carnal delights and miss them...... The only time you win the raffle is the one week they have the Jimmy Shand LP or the one of Bagpipe music that did the rounds in my club for 5 YEARS!! LTS And guess who found no less than 3 Jimmy Shand records in the cellar last week..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Amos Date: 03 Feb 00 - 05:53 PM Peter-- It's not in the DT!!! How does it go?? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:06 PM If it's Paddy's night, some drunken git will ask you to sing 'Floor o' Scootlan''. If it's St Andrews/Burns, some git will do something that sounds like gargling with lard, but will in fact be 'Floor o' Scootlan''. If there has been a football or rugby match in the last 6 weeks, some git will suggest a chorus of 'Floor o' Scootlan'', unless they won. That's not happened yet, so I can't possibly comment..... And if you try to sing 'Floor o' Scootlan' as a straight lament, some git will the rude version - 'Oh floor o' Scootlan' WHUN wull ye SEE yer ARSE again......' etc. And for catting - if you can answer a query, either: Some speedy git will post it in the time it takes for you to type it out. The connection will automatically time out and disconnect (I just know mine has just done exactly that....) The boss will come in unexpectedly, necessitatng a quick turn off. LTS
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Midchuck Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:12 PM Amos asked: "Peter-- It's not in the DT!!! How does it go?? A" DT for folk music, COWPIE for country.... Ignore the chords, they don't stay lined up when you cut and paste.... Peter.
Subject: Redneck Mother as recorded by Jerry Jeff Walker REDNECK MOTHER (as performed by Jerry Jeff Walker) G C He was born in West Virginia, D GHis wife's name's Betty Lou Thelma Liz G C And he's not responsible for what he's doing D G 'Cause his mother made him what he is.G C Up against the wall Redneck Mother,D G Mother, who has raised her son so well. G C He's thirty-four and drinking in a honky tonk. D G Just kicking hippies asses and raising hell.Sure does like his Falstaff beer, Likes to chase it down with that Wild Turkey liquor; Drives a fifty-seven GMC pickup truck; He's got a gun rack; "Goat ropers need love, too" sticker(Chorus)Well, M is for the mudflaps you give me for my pickup truck O is for the Oil I put on my hairT is for T-birdH is for Haggard E is for eggs, andR is for REDNECK.(Chorus) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Callie Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:30 PM You've just given the performance of your life, and the audience has laughed and cried and applauded their guts out, but the first person you encounter when you've left the stage is Bob, who says, "god, why doesn't anyone sing 'song x' right. That was bloody awful. None of you have any idea" and you want to crawl under a rock and give up music for bathplug design. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: GUEST,Len Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:41 PM that when performing for others, I will at some point during each set, find the one strings that is out of tune and then spend the next five minutes tuning all other strings to that one Len |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: sophocleese Date: 03 Feb 00 - 07:01 PM That when you are babbling like a maniac for five minutes while your partner frantically retunes some lout on the floor will yell out all the punchlines to your jokes. That when you are performing a song where you feel the need of a cheat sheet, just in case, the lighting will always be awful. In a variety fund raiser set up they will put the quiet folk singer on as they serve food and the highschool rock band at a million decibels when they aren't. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: Night Owl Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:25 PM Folkies' Law......"Murphy was an Optimist". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: GUEST,Micca at work Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:20 AM If more than one person buys you a drink as a mark of appreciation, the drinks will arrive simultaneously ,at closing time so they have to be drunk quickly, as you will be. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: MudGuard Date: 04 Feb 00 - 09:38 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: Murphy's Laws for Folkies? From: MK Date: 04 Feb 00 - 10:35 AM The gigs that pay the least, will be the most demanding...and the converse is true as well. |