Song Challenge! Part 3

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: GUEST
Date: 17 May 05 - 09:18 AM

Buzz buzz buzz
That's what the honey bee does
tweedley tweedley twee
you know the bird says that
Buzz buzz buzz goes the honey bee
and tweedley tweedley twee goes the bird.

Can I have my rearch grant now, please.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 17 May 05 - 08:15 AM

Nice to know Fred Does know his bees.

Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got ourselves a SWARM!

gog I love that line!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 16 May 05 - 07:01 PM

Not only did I get an answer tot his challenge from Fred Dyer himself, who thought it very humorous, but we know have scientific validation of his early efforts:

BEES EQUIPPED WITH RADAR SOLVE WAGGLE DANCE CONTROVERSY, May 14
A paper published in Nature on May 12th provides new data that resolves a long-standing scientific controversy. In the 1960s, Nobel Prize winning zoologist, Karl von Frisch, proposed that honeybees use dance (the "waggle dance") as a coded message to guide other bees to new food sources. However, some scientists did not accept von Frisch‚s theory. Using harmonic radar, scientists have now tracked the flight of bees that had attended a "waggle dance" and found that they flew straight to the vicinity of the feeding site, as predicted by von Frisch. The tracks allowed the scientists to determine how accurately bees translate the dance code into successful navigation, and showed that they correct for wind drift even when en route to destinations they have never visited before.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news4107.html

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 01 - 11:44 AM

Áine: Thanks for the reassurance that we can't chase you away from the Songbook through our exuberance to write! When you said that you felt like the tigers in the fable, running around the tree and turning themselves into butter, you had me worried.

I still feel that, at least for now, I "really want to post [my] song[s]" at a rate of no more than one a day or seven in one week. After all, I don't want to "burn out" the Forum audience, either.

Keep on keepin' those kids "home-larned", Áine, and I'll see ya at the next thread when you get there!

Love and hugs and snogs and all that sappy stuff,
Sharon

P.S. – Huh? Sing out... through the crotch??? Now THERE'S a Challenge!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 21 Aug 01 - 10:52 AM

Dear SharonA - Thank you, thank you, thank you!! for wanting to save my 'sanity(?)' -- which is always in question (hahahaha)...

Attention SONG CHALLENGE! CATCHUP CREW -- Keep writing (for sure) and if you really want to post your song, DO IT -- but, PLEASE understand that I may not have time to immediately get your creation into the Songbook. Apart from my fulltime job as a professional domestic engineer, I homeschool two of my children -- and their needs come first, even before the Mudcat ;-) as much as I love you all.

Don't worry, I've got each and every SONG CHALLENGE! thread in my personal Mudcat Tracer, so I can get to them quickly and easily when I have the time to get to them. And I promise in front of Max and everybody, I will NOT throw up my hands and run screaming from the Songbook -- it's a work of the heart, and where would I be without my heart?

So, keep creating your Mudcat Songbook Masterpieces and sharing them with the world, OK?

Croch suas é! (Sing Out!)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 01 - 10:10 AM

Jack: I'm writing as inspiration strikes, as well; I'm just not going to POST the results all at once. Right now I have another two songs completed, but you all are just going to have to wait to see them because Áine has asked us to slow down our rate of posting.

One problem, I've learned from experience, is that each post generates MORE posts from other songwriters. If you post 12 in a day, and if others add to even half of them, that's now at least 18 songs for Áine to look at (and more if you get multiple "piggy-back" entries in each of those 6 threads). That's more than a "few" in one day... that's more like a songbook per day! And I have a feeling that Áine is going to feel obligated to review every entry (if this past weekend is any indication).

Hey, the lady asked us for a break. She asked us to "keep 'em coming slowly", and that's what I'm going to do.

SharonA

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 21 Aug 01 - 09:49 AM

SharonA, thnk you for telling us what your intentions.

Aine,

I'm going to write them as the inspiration and free time hit me. That could be none or one or twelve in a day. Please review them at your leisure, or not at all as you choose. I really appreciate your input but I am not in any hurry. Why don't you wait till you get a few before reviewing?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 01 - 09:25 AM

Correction! Under LEAD SINGER's third "paragraph", it should read:

I loathe this vile PhD

(not "hate"... this brings the line closer to the original lyric!)

Thanks! See ya tomorrow!

SharonA

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: SharonA
Date: 21 Aug 01 - 09:10 AM

In response to Áine's request (in SONG CHALLENGE! - parts 8 and 31, dated 18-Aug-01) that we in the "Catch-up Club" slow down our rate of posting new songs to past Challenge!s — AND in the interest of preserving Áine's sanity — I have decided to post no more than one past-Challenge! submission per day, or seven in one week. (So what if it takes me another month-and-a-half to catch up? I ain't in no race!!!) I hope that other Challenge!rs will also honor Áine's request.

Remember, Áine's the one who has to read EACH of these songs, figure out which award to grant it, and add it to the "SONG CHALLENGE! Winners" page... in addition to inventing and reviewing NEW Challenge!s... in addition to having a real-time life. I for one would not like to be responsible for burning her out to the point where she throws up her hands and runs away from the SONG CHALLENGE!, screaming, and never returns.

That said, here's my song for today (another in the "quirky and weird" category):


'E WRECKED A HAPPY BEE
(Tune: "Eric the Half A Bee" by Monty Python; music by Eric Idle, original lyrics by Eric Idle and John Cleese)

INTRO:
"Take 'im away! 'E wrecked the Orchestra Leader!"

ORCHESTRA LEADER:
"Get this diode off me back! I am not a bee!! ...Thenkew. Ahem: A-one, two, a-one, two, three, four..."

[Piano – introductory flourish]

LEAD STINGER [spoken to piano accompaniment]:
Laughably, entomology
Must dip in fact to have hon-ey.
But has a bee just got to be
Nixed, affixed to antenn-ee, – Just to see
If, when a bee be headed free
To knot in tree and enters, she
Would hated be, a naughty bee
Due to some human gadgetry? – Stinging!...

ALL STING:
Lawd, 'e be one tool, see:
'E wrecked a happy bee.
N - E - 1 - with - I's - can - C
'E wrecked a happy bee.

LEAD STINGER:
Is this wretch of drone stud-y
Daft? A creep? Or gone nutt-y?
Some geek on a walk-íe talk-íe?

ALL STING:
Yes!
An' 'e wrecked a happy bee!

ALL STING:
Little di-odes on middle of she,
'E wrecked a happy bee.
Oh oh oh, see see see,
'E wrecked a happy bee.

LEAD STINGER:
I loathe this vile PhD,
Bee-searching in an SUV
By tuning to her frequency,
Fol-lów-ing tardily.

ALL STING:
Fol-lów-ing tardily.

LEAD STINGER:
Very tardily.

VOICE:
Very smart-ily?

LEAD STINGER:
Not "very smart-ily."?

VOICE:
Ah!

ALL STING [quietly]:
Not so smart-ily!

[Ends with elaborate buzz-humming]
Bzz bzz bzzzzz, bz-bz bzzzzz,
Bz-bzz, bz-bzzzz, bzzzz, bzzzzzzzzz....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 08:28 PM

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):

Revenge of the Honey Bees by mousethief

Geez, mousethief, when you're on a roll, it ain't just onion, is it? ;-) Loving your 'late-but-great' songs, my dear!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: mousethief
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 06:02 PM

I liked the Bee-tles thing, so here's another:

Revenge of the Honey Bees
tune: All My Lovin'

With my glue-gun I'll tack you
Tomorrow I'll track you
As you fly amid flowers and trees
Then as well as I can
From the back of my van
I will track all the honey ... bees.

All the honey
Bees I've ever seen
Are just funny
Blips upon my screen

Close your eyes and just listen
They're buzzin' and hissin'
Out lookin' for pollen I'm sure
Say it's gettin' too hot here
The windows are not clear
Why don't you just open the door?

All the honey
Bees came rushing in
It's not funny
Man, it hurts like sin!

Cos the bees all left stingers
In my arms and my fingers
And places I'd rather not say
And since they didn't sting you
Please say if you think you
Could call 9-1-1, right away?

All they honey
Bees got their revenge
Ain't it funny
How they knew my van

All the honey,
All the honey, woo-woo
All the honey
Bees got their revenge!

Copyright ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 11:43 AM

No doubt people who speak with great authority
Would have utilised the collective term sorority
But I'm grateful there are those possessed of charity
Who appreciate that my keenness for sonority (thanks Amos!)
Meant that I had to speak about fraternity
To resolve the tension vis-a-vis "eternity"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 11:11 AM

It's not often there comes the ocaision
To write about bugs of the feminine persuasion
Speak for an eternity about the bug fraternity
Or with more authority about a bee sorority
Whether right or wrong, Its still a funny song

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 04:25 AM

Just in case anyone interprets my last post above as meaning that I think anyone else's reply is mundane, can I just point out that I meant MY reply would be mundane!!

(In my accent, sorority also rhymes with words such as clarity, charity, hilarity, etc. Maybe I should also admit that I know bugger all about bees and had I been aware that they are - on the whole - insects of a feminine persuausion, I might not have used the collective term fraternity. In years to come when PhD scholars are compiling vast theses on the work of Mudcat parodists, iconoclasts and acolytes of the Godess Áine, this error might take up several pages of densely argued musing!)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 06:26 PM

Well, sorority rhymes with authority, Derry!! And also sonority, which is not a real word but should be!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 04:39 PM

Mundane reply - fraternity just happens to rhyme with eternity.

SharonA - yep ... going for them one at a time ... except for the few I shadowed you on over the past few days!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 04:01 PM

Here are your re/a/wards, my dear overachievers (derrymacash and Jack the Sailor) - hahaha:

To derrymacash -- The Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award for warming the cockles and creating a special warm and fuzzy feeling in the heart of the Keeper of the Book with your song.

And to Jack the Sailor -- The Shamrock Cluster, awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in your song.

Well done, both of ya!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 02:06 PM

Thanks MMario Yeah Bees are great. The whole "royal jelly" thing fascinates me. But I wouldn't want to be a Mr. Bee

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 01:31 PM

Tune is Yesterday correct? Well done!

Did you know bees rip the wings off the drones and throw them out of the hive in the fall so they don't have to waste honey on them? And talk about matrilineal! A male bee does not have first generation male offspring - ever - only grandsons, great grandsons, etc...

Another piece of trivia - until she runs out of stored sperm ( a queen takes only 1 mating flight normally - but may mate multiple times during that flight - depending on species ) the production of female or male offspring is chosen by the queen...no guesswork - she knows what sex that egg is gonna be.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 01:20 PM

Tracking Bees

Tracking Bees, Yes my job it is just tracking Bees
And my boss he is so hard to please
I make my bread by tracking bees

Yesterday a swarm of bees they made me run away
I was messing with the Honey tray
I should have left it where it lay Oh I belive theres a better way

Where do bees all go? We don't know! Thats why we track
Get a transmitter and attach it to their back Oh Oh Oh

Tracking bees, I am making about twenty gees
And All the honey that I can squeeze
I make my bread by tracking bees

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: SharonA
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 12:20 PM

I always thought that virgin females had convents.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 12:03 PM

well - many of the sorority sisters at my school CLAIMED to be virgins! (Not that anybody really believed them...)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: SharonA
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:55 AM

And why would VIRGIN females have a sorority???

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:49 AM

But all the workers are virgin FEMALES! Why would they have a fraternity?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: SharonA
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:46 AM

How can you have a sorority with only one queen bee, silly!?! Hmmm... what would be a good Greek Bee-Fraternity name... Beta Eta Gamma (bet I ate a leg)??

derrymacash, that's such a sad story!!! Are you going to write for all the CHALLENGE!s in order? (Don't you go gettin' sacked, now) I just figured I'd write as inspiration struck me, and check 'em off my list as I go (the right-side-of-the-brain method).

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:21 AM

psssttttt!

shouldn't that be sorority?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 16 Aug 01 - 11:09 AM

To the tune of "The Pursuit of Farmer Michael Hayes"

I am a little honeybee
None's ever had concerns with me
I lie low in the winter
And in summer reappear
The busiest of all the beasts
I toil all day and never cease
Until through human agency
I was forced to flee from here

It was on a pleasant afternoon
All in the merry month of June
I'd visited a buttercup
En route to a rose
When I was rudely intercepted
Hauled away and then subjected
To a physical enhancement
Whose purpose no-one knows

Arriving later at the hive
(Lucky to have fled alive)
My comrades gathered round me
And the muttering began
I was brought before the Queen
"Explain what this appendage means"
"I'm afraid your majesty
I don't believe I can"

Then up spake an elder bee
"I've seen this once before" said he
"It ended up in tragedy"
A silence then befell
"The humans use it and so they know
Everywhere we bees do go"
"Then we must strike a fatal blow"
The Queen did shrilly yell

I was sent out from the hive
For all the time that I'm alive
I may not revisit
I may not return
I must wander randomly
Hill and dale and street and lea
If ever they catch sight of me
My neighbours will me spurn

So off I buzzed, with heavy heart
My first stop was near Glendart
From there I flew to Carrigart
In the County of Armagh
From there to Belfast I did fly
The Glens of Antrim were nearby
A tail wind helped me then to fly
To the place they call Cultra

I led the men a merry chase
I stopped off at many the resting place
Dundalk, Navan, Drogheda, Naas
As south I made my way
Then westwards through Athlone I flew
Ballymote, then out by Tuam
Mayo, Connemara too
And over Galway Bay

From then I've travelled round non-stop
I'm buzzing all around the shop
It seems I've been flying
For all eternity
I've really fooled the scientists
Their previous theories they've dismissed
But on all my journeying I miss
My hive fraternity

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:54 PM

********THIS CHALLENGE IS NOW OFFICIALLY CLOSED*********

Please go to SONG CHALLENGE! Part 4 by clicking here. Thanks to all CHALLENGE!RS for their submissions and let's see what you can come up with in Part 4!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: cujimmy
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:46 PM

Where did "when you were sweet 16 come from then, where did the history of the song come from.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:32 PM

Dear Mbo,

Help is coming soon! Hang in there kid!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:26 PM

Dear Shambles,

Great Entry! You have been uploaded and awarded the Golden Cow Chip Award with Cleigh's Blue Fume Shield for a great blues rendition! Congratulations!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:18 PM

Help, folks! I need something to write about! Being creative is the only thing that can stop me from completely going insane!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: The Shambles
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:02 PM

I'm a Ping bee.

Well, I'm a ping bee
Buzzing around your hive
Yes, I'm a ping bee
Buzzing around your hive
I can buzz better baby, when my signals live

Well, I'm a ping bee
I can buzz all night long
Yes, I'm a ping bee
Can buzz all night long
I can buzz better baby when my batteries strong

I'm a ping bee
Want you to be my queen
Well, I'm a ping bee
Want you to be my queen
Together you and me honey, make a scientist's dream

I'm a ping bee
I think there is something wrong
I'm a ping bee
I think there is something wrong
Some wires have got crossed, the buzzing getting strong

I'm a ping bee
And I'm out of luck
I'm a ping bee
And I'm out of luck
Blue sparks are flying, feels like lightning's struck

I'm a ping bee
My current's gone away
I'm a ping bee
My currents gone away
I was super-charged honey, now I've had my day

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 05:36 PM

A clabog for Super cladhaire, Ms A. Done.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 05:21 PM

Oh, a stór, I can put up with your evil twin brother if you can put up with my evil red-headed stepsister!

Le ghrá, Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 05:12 PM

There's the lass I know an' love! Now as for my wicked Quebecois brother, he was a bit confused, not understanding the nature of the dynamics here on the Cat. So bear with him -- he was reallly sorta spinning out here. What he said was...roughly translated...

"Hey, chum! Is this a turning worm? OK, if it amuses you to make me look bad, just don't call on Superman the next time some slimeball attacks your vocal charms. I just don't know at all what I have done to anger you so!!! Accent "ague", accent "ague"!! (At this point he was losing it). "Help! Rescue me!...Oh, pox on this foxy vixen!!"

Perhaps I should tell him to consult me before posting in the future.

Friends again and aye, dear Aine. Glad you're on my side, though!!

Love,

A. (I hope you still are in spite of my brother's pique).

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 05:01 PM

Ok, darlin' Amos, I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours . . .

"I don't understand you at all, dear friend. I've completely forgotten my French, and more's the pity! Perhaps I was too hard on you. I apologize, darlin'. We'll be friends again, won't we?"

There ya go, A Man Of Steel! Your turn . . .

-- Áine

(I really was jez' kiddin' 'bout the can of whup-urú!)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:33 PM

I just hit the translate button on your charming post and it doesna do Gaelic. Trade ya!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:29 PM

Please pay no attention to my evil twin from Quebec -- he's in town for the day and has a Gallic temper. I, on the other hand, seek always to be a gent when it is possible. So let me reassure all threaders here present that I had no intent to upstart, downplay, overshadow, cross-post, upstage, overwhelm, undermine or overshadow any of the first rate posters here, and in fact don't see the basis in my little post for a reaction of this scale!

Micca answered the question correctly and I just added a small enhancement. Wherefore, then, have I been so lambasted, madam, so roundly grilled, carved, diced and served up as offal?

Sigh. Woe.

Ah, well, perhaps my bother is right this time. Sigh. (Wipes tear). SIGH.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:27 PM

Ní thuigim thú ar bith, a chara chóir. Déanim dearmad ar fad ar mo Fhraincis, agus is mór an trua é! B'fheidir go raibh mé níos crua ort. Gabh mo leithscéal, a stóor. An mbeidh muid cairde le chéile arís, nach mbeidh?

Le gach dea-ghuí, Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 04:09 PM

Dis, donc, la copine!! C'est le ver envers, pour vrai! Alors, puisque tu la trouve amusant me faire sembler si mechant, n'cri plus pur Superman le prochaine fois qu'on t'attaque la voix! J'ne sais point qu'j'ai fait te rendre si fachee!! Accent ague, Accent ague!! Au secours! J'm'en fous de cette reynardette!

Fondly,

Amos

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 03:56 PM

Dear Micca,

Please ignore the upstart -- someone referred to him as 'Superman' on another thread as in A. M.(an) O.(f) S.(teel), and he's just a got a big head today. ;>) Give just one Golden Cow Chip to somebody and see what a showoff he becomes? Hey Amos, leave my good buddy Micca alone, or me and my homeboys, Accent Grave and Accent Acute, will circonflex your cedilla for ya!! Yea, just get up in these guys' faces and they'll open up a big box of whup-urú on ya, too! And their fadas are bigger than your tildes any day, esse!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 03:33 PM

"Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose." (chose is feminine). The accents are circonflex over the e in "meme", with those little cedillas under the "c"s.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Micca
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 03:27 PM

Barbara the phrase is I believe "plus ca change, plus ca le meme chose" both the cs in "ca" have the squiggle below and the first e in meme has the "tiled roof" above.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 03:23 PM

Leave it to you, MMario, to know (or go and research) all the 'ins and outs' of bee business!! I don't know . . . maybe that's why they call it 'MOTHER Nature' . . .

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 03:01 PM

HEY! Do you gals realize that each and every one of those poor drones mating with the Princess (for she is not truly a Queen until fertile and laying eggs) is eviscarated by that high flying tease at the moment of completion! yeesh! Not to mention the fact that she is so selfish she doesn't even pass on his genes to her sons, only her own?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 02:57 PM

Forever? Wow, that's a concept of truly transcendental proportions! I mean, prodigious!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 02:52 PM

Thank you for the poem, Barbara. Let us all hope the Queen Bee (toujours gai!) remains un-dioded and antennaed and doing the nasty in mid-air forever!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Barbara
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 01:05 PM

Oops, screwed up the last verse. It should read:

Let mares and cows, by calculating
Improve themseves with loveless mating,
Let groundlings breed in the modern fashion;
I'll stick to the air and the grand old passion
I may be small and I'm just a bee
But I won't have Science improving on me.
Not me.
I'm a bee.
On a day that's fair with a wind that's free,
Any old drone is the lad for me.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 01:01 PM

Wow!! That's a hummmm-dinger! (Or should that be buzzzz-dinger?)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Barbara
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 12:58 PM

Now that the dust has settled, let me share this poem with y'all, tho I think perhaps some of you already know it. I only typed about half of it, and the rest is just as good, so maybe if this thread's still around when I get back from Rainy Camp Sunday, I'll post the rest.
What's the french for "The more things change, the more they stay the same?
Blessings,
Barbara
Here's [part of] a poem written by E.B. White at least 50 years ago:

Song of the Queen Bee

"The breeding of the bee," says the US Department of Agriculture bulletin on artificial insemination, "has always been handicapped by the fact that the queen mates in the air with whatever drone she encounters."

When the air is wine and the wind is free
And the morning sits on the lovely lea
And sunlight ripples on evey tree,
Then love-in-the-air is the thing for me --
I'm a bee,
I'm a ravishing, rollicking, young queen bee,
That's me.

I wish to state that I think it's great,
Oh, it's simply rare in the upper air,
It's the place to pair
with a bee.
Let old geneticists plot and plan,
They're stuffy people to a man;
Letgossips whisper behind their fan.
(Oh, she does?
Buzz, buzz, buzz!)
My nuptial flight is sheer delight;
I'm a giddy girl who likes to swirl;
To fly and soar
And fly some more,
I'm a bee.
And I wish to state that I'll always mate
With whatever drone I encounter.

There's a kind of wild and glad elation
In the natural way of insemination'
Who thinks that love is a handicap
Is a fuddydud and a common sap,
For I am a queen and I am a bee,
I'm devil-may-care and I'm fancy-free,
The test tube doesn't appeal to me
Not me,
I'm a bee.
And I'm here to state that I'll always mate
With whatever drone I encounter
.

Let mares and cows, by calculating
Improve themseves with loveless mating,
Let groundlings breed in the modern fashion;
I'll stick to the air and the grand old passionv I may be small and I'm just a bee
Not me,
I'm a bee.
On a day that's fair with a wind that's free,
Any old drone is the lad for me.
But I won't have Science improving on me.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 10:03 AM

Thanks for the page, Aine! I'm going to wear my award with honor...and don't worry, I'm going to make a recording of your song--but it'll have to wait till next week.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 09:58 AM

Sorreeeee!:>)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 09:45 AM

Thank goodness!!

-- Á.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 09:34 AM

Maybe a country western approach: "The Doctor Says To Eat Ma Honey, But Ma Honey Says No Way".

We can put it on one of 'Spaw's porn sites up there next to the "Muff Diver's Lament" and "Pink Pearls For my Pickle". ANd that, dear friends, is all I'm gonna say about that.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 09:11 AM

That's simple amos, you write a new song about it, blues by preference.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 08:33 AM

I told my honey about the fulurum's advice in this hyar thread an' she said it weren't gonna happen. NOW whut do I do??

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 07:58 AM

I'm glad that y'all like it! I can't think of a finer group that deserves the Golden Cow Chip Award -- and I mean that in the nicest way ;-).

Here's to the Song Challengers that make all the (fun) work worthwhile!

Keep playing, singing, and writing! -- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 02:38 AM

Yahoo!!

Thank you Aine! Ma'am, I'm, honoured to be the first female winner of this prestigious award. (come on ladies, don't make me feel so lonely, sharpen your pencils)

Thank you too Aine, for all the dedication and effort in getting this up and running.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: fulurum
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 12:29 AM

with all this talk about bees and stuff i just want to remind everybody in order to stay healthy, eat your honey.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Sorcha
Date: 04 Feb 00 - 12:17 AM

Oh, Aine, you're a WONDER! I can't imagine trying to keep up with all the creativity that has been happenig here in the last few days! I am not a lyricist, but I can't help but wonder what has happened to the melody "Thunder Road" on this thread. Love, Sorcha

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:36 PM

Dear Áine:

Beautiful job!! And for a hockey night, too!! Way to go.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:30 PM

Now, which cheek (and whose) should we be concentrating on here, oh Keeper? :>>))

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:41 PM

***************ATTENTION SONG CHALLENGERS*****************

Check out the Brand New SONG CHALLENGE! WINNERS Page, complete with all the awards described above. I did this in a hurry (after all, it IS hockey night!), so if you would like to lodge a grievance with the Keeper of the Book concerning what award your song has been given, please feel free. **Just remember to keep your tongue firmly in cheek**

Enjoy and keep playing, singing, and writing! -- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 04:13 PM

You are too much, Sister Aine. You're not a Mennonite by any chance?

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 04:07 PM

For such a new 'Mudcat Tradition' (?), the SONG CHALLENGE! has turned up a wondrous bunch of nutters (and songwriters)!! If you haven't seen it yet, I've updated the 'Additions to Mudcat Songbook' thread and announced the winners of the SC!3 contest. I've also rearranged the Songbook page to set up a special category for the SONG CHALLENGE! Winners. I've got some ideas for more changes that I'll begin work on this weekend, the Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise...

***********ANNOUNCEMENTS************

Here are the agreed prize categories for the SONG CHALLENGE! entries. Good luck to all of you! (Note: Some awards have been given out already to past winners. Songs, authors and awards to be designated in the new version of the Songbook page sometime in the near future)

***************************************

Golden Cow Chip Awards are given to all winners of the SONG CHALLENGE! Contest. These permanent awards and should be displayed proudly and prominently on your mantel. There is one caveat, however. If I find out that any receiver of the Golden Cow Chip Award has used their trophy in a local (or international) cow chip tossing contest, said Chip will be confiscated immediately and awarded to another Song Challenger.

The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a high level of imagination in a song.

The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make me fall on the floor laughing OR short out my keyboard with tears.

The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing BOTH Harp Ribbon conditions within one song.

Cleigh's Blue Fume Award is given to the best blues rendition of any challenge topic.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 02:32 PM

Struck gold this time Áine. Or at least honey.

While we're on the subject:
Oh what a glorious thing to be,
A healthy grown-up Busy Buzzy Bee,
Whiling away the passing hours,
Pinching all the pollen from the corn field flowers.

That's from the song Arthur Askey used to perform - The Busy Buzzy Bee. Anyone have the rest of the words, because they're good. The International Lyrics Fin=der or whatever they call it doesn't even recognise that Arthur Askey ever existed - thus confirming that it's a crap site. So we should try and get it on the DT on principle.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 01:18 PM

Longer I live, the more I forget, and that was one of 'em! Thanks for the rhyming definition! Come to think of it I think Mbo should write a song about Geoducks! See what kind of rhymes he comes up with! No help from Spaw!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 01:13 PM

oops A goeoduck is a mighty fine thing
Got a neck all long and green
Fits right in to the Mollusca group
Tastes real good in a creamy soup
Or on the half shell, mighty fine fare, sort of a King clam

somehow lost a line in transmission.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 01:13 PM

only chewier

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Blackcat2
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 01:08 PM

I believe it's a type of clam.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 01:07 PM

A geoduck is a mighty fine thing Fits right in to the Mollusca group
Tastes real good in a creamy soup
Or on the half shell, mighty fine fare, sort of a King clam.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:57 PM

Geoduck!!! That's it!! I can use geoduck!!

With a breaker there! an' a Bear in the Air! An' a song about a Truck!
So, close ma lip! You take the Chip!
An' I won' give a ..Geoduck!!

Boy, that's great! Scans an evvythin'!!Hot damn!! Geodu....say, what is a geoduck anyway??

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:50 PM

'Spaw, you forgot --uck, yeuch, geoduck,

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:44 PM

buck, duck, huck, luck, muck, puck, ruck, tuck, yuck, chuck, woodchuck, cluck, kluck, stuck, struck, moonstruck, dumbstruck, upchuck, shuck...........Anything you can use there Amos?

Spaw

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:39 PM

Mbo - that's hysterical! and GOOD!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:39 PM

You'n me both Metchosin. I'm real worried about that Talkin' Blues! But it maybe that Mbo has blown our doors off!

Who would have thought he would pull down "Convoy" as a template!! Sheeshe!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:31 PM

Cleigh is more than willing to lend his name to such a prestigious award. He thinks that "Blue Fume" would somehow fit better. Feel free to write him at his website---www.assblownout.rip

(Its my day for websites I guess)

Spaw

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:26 PM

L'il Mbo, you done it good! Damn, but that was fine!
Now, who'da thunk you'd go all the way back
To 1979?
With a breaker there! an' a Bear in the Air! An' a song about a Truck!
So, close ma lip! You take the Chip!
An' I won' give a ...(...'spaw? Whut rhymes with "truck"???)

A

(seriously, Mbo, that was red hot! I loved it!)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:23 PM

see Amos, you're jumpin' the gun, countin' your chips before the games over.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: GUEST,Mbo
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 12:13 PM

Breaker one nine, this is Mother Bee
I got a copy on that drone, come on in!
Gosh golly gee--we got a clear cut right to Honeytown
Ten four Worker Wilma thats a lot of bees
Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got ourselves a SWARM!

It was in the heat of the sun, we were making a run
We all were loaded and haulin'
Some worker bees and a couple drones with a big ol' load of pollen
We were headed way back to our hive
About a mile from a grassy lea
I said Wilma, this here's the Mother Bee
I'm gonna try and go Mach 3

Chorus:
Cause we got a great big bee swarm rocking through the sky
We got a great big bee swarm, don't it make you wanna cry?
Come and join our bee swarm, we're headed back to our lair
We're gonna buzz this great bee swarm right across the air
Bee swarm!

Breaker Wilma, this here's the Mother Bee
You wanna back off those drones
Ten four, about 6 feet or so
Ten roger them drones is hittin' on the ladies again

By the time we reached the sunny spot, we had 50 million bees in all
There was a white van up on the grassy lea
And there were humans large and small
There were scientists thick as hot beeswax
They even had a couple in boats
I said "All trucks, it's me, the Mother Bee
We're a gonna chase some white lab coats"

You wanna give me a ten nine on that Wilma?
Negatory Wilma, those drones are still to close
Yeah those little buggers are making me mad
You better back off another 6

Well we flew up that sunny sky like a storm of wind and rain
We pulled our pollen baskets out and strapped 'em down again
By the time we got to the forest those coats tried something new
They'd brought up reinforcements from East Carolina U
There's vans and cars and golf carts, and buses of purple hue
Those little motes were full of coats and transmitters stuck like glue
We shot ahead the whole nine yards, with a billion screaming wings
And five lost icheneumons, and 8 hornets without stings

Mother Bee, this here is Worker Wilma, come on
Ten four Wilma, want you to move those icheneumons
Way back behind the drones
Remember, we live in a tree, and those ichies will eat it up

We laid a path from the cityscape to our old familiar tree
I saw belong a hundred coats below with kettles full of steam
I said "Wilma, this here's the Mother Bee, and this ain't the time to lose
So drop some pollen and make 'em sneeze--and let that honey ooze, ten four"

Ten four Wilma. what's your twenty?
Battle Creek?
They're gonna love that honey up there for sure
Well mercy sakes, good buzzy, we're gonna fly on out of here
Keep the stinger on your buns and the coats off your tail
We'll catch you on the flippity-flop
This here's the Mother Bee on the side
We gone bye bye.


Hmmm...bees with transistors. Interesting idea.

--Mbo, ten four

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 11:45 AM

Ok, Aine, I just feel I have to put it on the record that right after I posted "Fred Dyer's Bees", your very next entry said:

---

"Well, excuse me while I pick myself off of the floor! "

---

I submit to the panel that this constitutes prima facie evidence of qualification for the Harp! :>) (How do I get into these things?? What's wrong with me? Mutter, mutter....).

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 11:25 AM

Or does that just get a golden chip with Smoke Wreath?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 11:22 AM

Good mornin' and thank you Aine. Now I wuz jest wonderin' ma'am if thar wuz a separate prize fer the Blues? Maybe somethin' like the "Cleigh's Blue Smoke Award"?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:28 AM

And sometimes it adds a "k". Well, take the keyboard apart and clean it out -- you'll just have time to get it all fixed by class...

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: GUEST,Mbo
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:12 AM

Not my fault, Amos! This stupid Mac I'm using has a wacky H key--you hit it and sometimes it gives you and H, sometimes it doesn't. I'm on a different machine now.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:06 AM

Mbo, you're not getting enough sleep judging from the typos that are slipping into your posts. Why'n't you take a nap until class? :>))

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: GUEST,Mbo
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 10:03 AM

Let's see...I have one our to go till my next class starts at 11. I gonna try to write that song between know and then!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:57 AM

That would be the tan foam just over my left breast pocket? Actually that was a slip of the lip!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:53 AM

Good to have these technical details out in the open...Is the Guiness Crest awarded for causing both Harp ribbon conditions within one song? Just checking, of course....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:52 AM

Good to have these technical details out in the open...Is the Guiness Crest awarded for causing both Harp ribbon conditions within one song? Just checking, of course....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:50 AM

Thanks, Big M. I get ashamed of myself fer gettin' stirred up.

Now a shamrock cluster on a Golden Cow Chip would look purdy!! Could wear it with ma ice-cream suit for special occasions and such!! Or to cocktail parties!!

"Yep, this one was the Beekeeper Song Challenge, and the gold one was fer the FIrst World Challenge...and thet bar indicates I survived the Mudcat Tavern thread of the Winter of '99.
And the silver tag is for learnin to make blue clicky things.
Yes, ma'a'm, it sure is a lot of medals, but ev'y one of 'em was earned honestly. Aw shucks, ma'a'm, kinda yew to say so..."

(grin)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:48 AM

Dear Mbo,

I *knew* you'd never throw a rock at bee (even if you do call it a bug)! Can't wait to see to your 'Beez Redux' tonight.

Amos and MMario,

Golden Cow Chip Awards are permanent and should be displayed proudly and prominently on your mantel. The Shamrock Cluster is signatory of a high level of imagination and the Harp Ribbon (yet to be awarded) is given for being able to make me fall on the floor laughing OR short out my keyboard with tears. There is one caveat, however. If I find out that any receiver of the Golden Cow Chip Award has used their trophy in a local (or international) cow chip tossing contest, said Chip will be confiscated immediately and awarded to another Song Challenger. Clear?

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 09:36 AM

I don't think your Golden Cow Chip gets taken away -- I think a new one just gets awarded to another deserving feller....and if you deserve another you probably get another shamrock cluster....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 08:18 AM

Oh, man....Mbo's working on another song....durn...gosh......I jes know he's gonna get ma Golden Cow Chip...this guy is rough...gosh....durn.... .

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 08:10 AM

Thanks, Áine. The song wasn't autobiographical at all. In fact, I'm on quite good terms with bees--I don't bother them, they don't bother me. I don't throw rocks--but I have been known to hurl pinecones to dislodge badminton birdies from tree limbs....anyway, I'm working on another song....I'll probably have it up tonight--today's my full day.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 07:55 AM

*******************CONGRATULATIONS!!**********************

To all of you BEEautiful BEEstowers of BEE songs!!

Great job, everyone! Very creative AND funny, couldn't ask for more. If anyone else wants a go at it, feel free and welcome.

{Mbo, Even though your song swung a little wide of topic, that's perfectly fine. Your song is a wonderful reminisence; although, I find it hard to believe that you *ever* threw a rock at anything.}

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: lloyd61
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 07:03 AM

I'll try this for the last time...

Queen Bee, Queen Bee, I can't follow them all,
Queen Bee, Queen Bee, They are way to small
The Drowns may be cheating and sneaking around
But I can't follow them all, all over town

Why am I spending time on this dumb thing? I can't type, spell, or think.

The next questions is; why are you spending your time reading this dumb thing?

O'well have fun..

lloyd61

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: lloyd61
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:56 AM

Some how I lost a line....

Queen Bee, Queen Bee, I can't follow them all,
Queen Bee, Queen Bee, There way to small
The Drowns may be cheating and sneaking around
But I can't follow them all, all over town

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: lloyd61
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 06:52 AM

Where are you going, how long will you stay?
I'll follow you, little sister, even if it takes all day.,
You will never be out of my site. I have you in toe
You are tethered to me by a little electro.
You see, I have been hired to spy undercover,
I have been hired by your jealous Queen lover.

Chorus

Queen Bee, Queen Bee, There way to small
The Drowns may be cheating and sneaking around
But I can't follow them all, all over town

I followed you up fifth, to a hot little flower,
There with great passion her nectar you devoured
I saw it all, my report will be brief
I watch you steal her pollen, you little sister thief
Then on to the next without giving much thought
Have you no feelings for the damage you have wrought.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 03 Feb 00 - 05:15 AM

Beeline Talkin' Blues

Well gather round Cats and I'll tell you a story
Bout how to pursue scientific glory
Get you some bees and a diode or two
A few tiny pins and some crazy glue
Double sided poster tape, transmitters and all that jazz

Well I got me some bees, matter fact quite a few
Loaded em up and away they all flew
Jumped in my van, I'm trackin' em down
Radio signals on the far side of town
Clover, fireweed, wildflowers and farmers fields.

Well they buzzed to the east and they buzzed to west
I followed one, just doin' my best
Headed way out to a wheat field stand
To keep her in range I pursued in the van
Following blips, through fences, makin' crop circles.

Just then she headed back on to to the road
I bumped back out, just listen to her go!
I followed her in hot pusuit
She was zippin' along, she knew her route
Headin' for greener pastures, makin' a bee line.

Then I turned north just as she turned south
The result of which there was no doubt
Up on the corner of my window screen
A few metal pieces all red and green
Squished bug, cashed in her IC chips, some form of road kill.

I stopped the van and started to grievin'
A cop pulled up said "Man you were weavin'"
He asked me to step out of the car
Said "drivin' like that you won't get far"
Impaired, without due care and attention, DUI.

He arrested me and he put me in jail
Went before the judge to tell my tale
The judge said son "I believe your story,
You were just pursuin' scientific glory!"
Go publish a paper, where bees go, maybe get yourself a Nobel Prize.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:44 PM

Well, a week's about half over, did you not say? I just meant for some shocks to wear off can take that long. In your case, being highly resilient and strong minded, and frequently at the mudcat Tavern, I would say less. :>)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:36 PM

A week or two? I hope it won't be that long!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:32 PM

Well, don't worry about it, mate. Shocks and losses and severe upsets all have that effect -- they hang you up for days like stuck holograms, slipping in and out of the present. Known thing, so don't worry. Get your rest, keep up your chow and it'll pass in a week or so. Tho' I don't see how you managed to compose under that sort of duress!

A

And you can be exactly as specific as you choose, friend Mbo; no constraints from this end, anyway.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:24 PM

Amos, I can't be TOO specific, but SHE hasn't been here for days! I'm losing it!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:21 PM

Damn, I hate that! It's Barbry Ellen all over again -- just a failure to communicate, is what. It is so HARD to understand another person when they won't communicate, you never know which end is them and which end is you!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:16 PM

I'm not sure--she just kinda faded like the Beatles on "Hey Jude."

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:13 PM

Your Shangri-La?!! O, Mbo, I am sorry. Where did she go? Why? I am sure it must be a mistake.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:12 PM

I know how you feel, Amos. My Shangri-La has gone away.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:09 PM

Well FINE! Beee that way! :>))

Pax vobiscum, Mbo. I like your song a lot and it is much more broadly useful than mine. Mine rerquires a special brief to understand, available at no extra charge from National Public Radio, while yours applies to childhoods everywhere! So I withdraw my challenge. I'm just cranky cuz I am spending so much time _not_ working! :>))

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 11:03 PM

Oh, well EXCUSE ME!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:55 PM

Beeees??? Beeees??? It's not bloody BEEeees, sir!! It's SCIENtists! THAT's the topics -- it's the SCIENtists sticking the diodes on the beees, not the bees themselves!! It was on the raddio, about them enteeemuleogisters and such! With their DIodes. It's not just about BEEEs, sir!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:51 PM

Um....I thought it was just songs about bees!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:44 PM

Mbo, I am filing a protest with the Queen! Your song is off topic!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:33 PM

I think myself a smart young man
For I know a lot of things
Like what those little critters are
That fly round on buzzing wings
Collecting pollen every day
From every single flower
And making honey out of it
For hour after hour

But they can get so bothersome
A-buzzing round your head
And just one little sting from them
Will swell and turn you red
So one morning as I roamed about
Partaking in the day
I tried to smash one, and the people
turned to me and said

Let it be! You're a thug!
It's a bee, not a bug!
We wouldn't survive without them!
They make sugar and honey
And so for your money
You can have them on toast or in tea
Mercy me!
It isn't a bug, it's a bee!

Well I started think
And actually ponder
About what they's said
So I let my mind wander
Back to my youth
When I was just five
And I used to hurl rocks
At a giant bee hive
It seemed so much fun
Of all things the best
But something was brewing
Inside that nest.
So I launched a large rock
At the thing on the tree
Then an angry swarm flew out
And headed for me!

And as they doctored my stings, they said....

Let them be! You're a thug!
It's a bee, not a bug!
We wouldn't survive without them!
They make sugar and honey
And so for your money
You can have them on toast or in tea
Mercy me!
It isn't a bug, it's a bee!


--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:28 PM

Well, excuse me while I pick myself off of the floor! Kevin, Amos -- you guys are great! I love 'em both!

Alright, all you other songwriters -- come on, join the fun and write a beewitching song about our little *non*-bug friends!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 10:00 PM

Add to Challenge submission: (Tune: The Big Rock Candy Mountain)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 09:58 PM

Fred Dyer's Bees

 

 

In a faroff lane, lined with sugar cane
Where the honeybees go walkin'
In a big white van, came a science-man,
All worked up to do some stalking
As he drove along, he hummed a song
And thought of hives and honey!
For he'd had a dream, and dreamt up a scheme
That would earn him lotsa money!

Chorus:    Ohhhhhhh the buzzing of the Queen on the radar screen!
                The flapping of transistors!
                And the glue that binds on the bee's beehinds
                Of the drones and all their sisters!

Now this science lug was in love with bugs
And was handy with the solder!
He drummed up a grant, by composing cant
'Bout the queen bee, and her daughters
There's no way to know how he flung the snow
In his guileful composition
But it sure was hot, cuz the fellow got
A rich research position!

Chorus
 

So he bought  himself a six-foot shelf
Of scopes and lab things fancy
And equipped with these, he went hunting bees
With a postgrad aide  named Nancy.
They would grab the drones from their waxy homes
As they left for work, Fred gottem!
With epoxy glue and a diode or two
They would wire up their bottoms!

Chorus

Now its hard to tell what this science swell
Is learning from these workers!
Cuz him and Nan they sit back in the van
Watching 'scopes and eating burgers.
Yelling "North!" and "whoa!"  on the radio
As their labmates sweat for hours
Running zig zag trails through the hills and dales
While the bees make calls on flowers!

Chorus

Now this fella Fred has got quite the head
FOr acquiring research dollars
And he'll run this show where the honeybees grow
'Til someone tips off the scholars
Then he'll grab a flight, in the dark of night
And a new girl, named Amanda
And theyll make a try, tracking tsetse flies
For the gummint of Rwanda!

Ohh, the buzzing of the Queen on the radar screen
The flapping of transistors!
And the glue that binds to the bees beehinds
On the queen and all her sisters!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 08:08 PM

Amos, me thinks you have some competition this time 'round! Way to go, Kevin!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:42 PM

Bravo, McGrath -- you're a sure head ahead of the pack, who've been left at the gate.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:34 PM

Kamikaze Bee

You stick me down with ticky-tack
and put transmitters on my back
and try to follow in my track
but I'm a bee
you can't catch me.

You think you're smart, I know you're big,
But I can make you dance a jig
And squeal like a punctured pig
For I'm a bee
you can't catch me

I'm in the air, I'm on the wing,
I'm coming down to make you sing
I'm coming at you with my sting
For I'm a bee,
you can't stop me.

And when I sting you, I'll be dead,
But you'll be crying in your bed
with my sharp lesson in your head
I was a bee -
don't mess with me.
Don't mess with us
just leave us buzz!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:20 PM

I think we'll use that tune from The Big Rock Candy Mountain...oh the buzzing of the queen on the radar screen, the diodes on the workers! While the scientist man, in the big white van, watches scopes and chews on burgers!...this was just a try out, I'm working on it. I've heard the short form on NPR, and the entymologists are really excited about it. They're using the technology (a tiny diode glued to the back of a bee, which causes a traceable interference pattern on a radar CRT). They're gonna use it on tsetse flies next.

Lots of grounds for creative stuff here, guys -- the tsetse boogie woogi! C'mon an' do it...back to the Mudcat Radio, anon.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 07:01 PM

www.sallfolks

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 06:59 PM

the blues tune I'm a King Bee might validate the researchers.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 06:18 PM

Dear Mbo,

That's why I called it a CHALLENGE!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 06:01 PM

Mbo! a bee is not a bug! Apis Mellifera is a diligent, hardworking servant to humanity, literaly shortening her life span so that flapjacks may be covered with sweet liquid gold.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Mbo
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:56 PM

I don't know if I can do bug songs...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: MMario
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:54 PM

geez, Áine, their project involves the MOVEMENT of the bees, you can't expect them to know something like the gender of the subjects, that's outside of the parameters of the experiment.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:49 PM

Dear Metchosin,

I was quoting the eejit researchers, who *should* know to call the "little sisters" *she* . . . just shows to go ya!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Metchosin
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:43 PM

Aine as your Dad was a beekeeper. would he forgive you for your slip of calling them "he". *BG* I hope that means big grin.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:30 PM

Boy, Áine, you do come up with a honey every now and then!!
I will have to comb through my imagination and see if I can come up with a few stinging lines for the sake of our Queen.

It's a mighty good life, and it's kinda funny...naw, lines are too short.

I'm sure there's a whole hive of possibilities buzzing around in here, just wait 'til I start waxing!

A

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 3
From: Áine
Date: 02 Feb 00 - 05:20 PM

Hello 'Catters! Yes, it's *another* challenge for the Mudcat Songbook!! All of you entomologically-minded folks will be especially interested in this one:

I heard a report on NPR today that scientists in the US have made a fantastic advance in the study of honey bees -- they've caught several of the little buggers and glued diodes and antennae on their back with double-sided poster tape. "They look like hors d'oeuvres with glass toothpicks in them," said one of the researchers. Then the researchers release the honey bees and *attempt* to follow them in vans equipped with radio receivers; communicating with each other via walkie-talkies, evoking such conversations as: "He's going north." "Now he's going west." "He's going south -- nope, make that north again."

Unfortunately, I was unable to hear the end of the story, or to what purpose this 'fantastic advance' has been made -- but I'll leave that up to your imagination. My dad was a beekeeper for years, and I can't help but imagine him laughing himself silly if he could hear this story, and making some comment about "the guys in white coats tailing the 'little sisters'."

So, there ya go -- take it away and may everyone win!

-- Áine