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BS: Relationship with an older woman
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Mbo Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:46 AM Some people say it's a dangerous game I'll take my chances just the same If love is a game and you are the prize You standing here is no surprise. Is it life lived separately? Is life all it ought to be? Oh, if it were all up to me I'd make my life with you.
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Bert Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:47 AM I've been in two long term relationships where the age difference was far greater than 11 years. Lou was much older than me and Tree is much younger. The age difference is not a problem. Go for it Guest! Bert. P.S. Leej, you're BAAAAD;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Peg Date: 14 Feb 00 - 11:14 AM I have always liked younger men. Men my age (36ish)are either too set in their ways, on the rebound, commitment-phobic, already married, or such losers they have not ever been in an actual mature relationship...not to generalize but that has been my experience so far; in other woids, all the good ones are taken! When I was 30, I had a great romance with a guy who was 21. He was a Brad Pitt look-alike back when Brad had his long hair and beard...gorgeous, simply gorgeous. I was surprised he wanted to date me actually, at first. He had been with a few "older women" in high school so I imagine this experience helped...we were very well suited to each other physically and emotionally but he felt intellectually inferior at times and this troubled him. But we had a great time...until he dumped me for a glassblower...she lasted a few weeks, then he took up with some twink even younger than him; they are still together, I think...she's a bitch and my friends always wonder why he's with her...as do I. But as long as he's happy (though I am not sure he is...) Also, when I was in college, I had a fling with a 15 year old (I was 21); looking back I realize I could have been arrested for this (!) but it never occurred to me at the time...He was originally from Puerto Rico and moved to the Northeast because his parents were divorcing. Not a typical teen by any means, very together...much more so than my college-age beaus...but my girlfriends all teased me about robbing the cradle, regardless... i wish any and all of you kuck in love; age does not matter unless you let it... peg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: GUEST,Neil Lowe Date: 14 Feb 00 - 02:06 PM These days, a relationship, regardless of the circumstances, that has any endurance whatsoever is an aberration rather than the norm.
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Peg Date: 14 Feb 00 - 02:54 PM ooops.. I meant luck in love... obviously. peg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Peg Date: 14 Feb 00 - 02:55 PM ooops.. I meant luck in love...not kuck in love, whatever that may be... peg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: suze Date: 14 Feb 00 - 03:56 PM I'm 44, he's 35 - it's great and has been for the last seven years - go for it and enjoy!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Marymac90 Date: 14 Feb 00 - 05:13 PM I had one kind of brief relationship with a man about 15 years younger than I, when I was in my mid-30's. I felt adventurous, but also like a cradle robber. We're still friends, see each other at festivals and such. He seems to have had a succession of relationships with women, all somewhat older than him. He's never seemed to actually set up a life of his own, with his own home or apt. He just seems to glom onto these women's lives. His trump card seems to be in NOT being pushy or macho, just being very available and willing. However, none of these relationships seems to have lasted for a very long time. Somehow he doesn't seem to have matured much over the years I've known him. A relationship with a significant age difference often means dealing with being in different stages of life. ne partner may want to start a family, another feels too old to start all that, or has done that already. One is anticipating retiring, another is caught up in career stuff. Making it work is about bridging that gap. It's certainly worth trying if the gap seems bridgable. All the best, Mary Mccaffrey |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Max Date: 14 Feb 00 - 05:33 PM I had a very long relationship with a girl who was 13 days older than me. Didn't work out. Not sure if the age difference was the cause, but it was riddled with issues. I'm now looking for a woman in her 40's or 50's that wouldn't mind that I'm 27 and is into folk music. Know any? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Llanfair Date: 14 Feb 00 - 05:36 PM ME FIRST!!!!!!!! Bron. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: DougR Date: 14 Feb 00 - 06:09 PM Max: As a wize old sage, I'd guess those 13 days made all the difference. This may not be a very musical Thread, but I've enjoyed reading the messages. Guys my age (69) usually search for a woman a bit younger, I suspect than older. The age difference as so many have said already, shouldn't make that much difference. Go for it! DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: bob schwarer Date: 14 Feb 00 - 07:40 PM Had a couple on the news a bit ago who have been married 80 years. She's older;100. He's 99, so the age difference didn't seem to hurt. They still live in their home and take care of themselves and each other. The old boy scares me though. He has a drivers license that doesn't expire until 2002. Of course my wife has a license too and that also scares me. Bob S. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: harpgirl Date: 14 Feb 00 - 07:55 PM ...oh Max!...Max!...Hey MAX!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Troll Date: 14 Feb 00 - 08:02 PM The main thing that I have found ( I've been in 'em on both sides of the age fence) is that you have interests in common;the more the better. Because sooner or later you've gotta get out of bed and talk. troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Little Neophyte Date: 14 Feb 00 - 08:14 PM Max I don't mean to pry, just curious. If you don't mind posting the answer I would like to know.....What are the qualities in an older woman you find more attractive than being with someone who is around your own age? Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: GUEST Date: 14 Feb 00 - 08:23 PM Everyone here (well nearly) has been really nice - I'm thinking of changing my name to 'guest' but that might be too confusing... Thanks for your comments, I've really appreciated them. guest |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: DougR Date: 14 Feb 00 - 09:24 PM Troll: Talk? Talk about what? :>) DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Sorcha Date: 14 Feb 00 - 09:45 PM SCORE: Pagans-68,Lions-0 (to the tune of "She's a Woman") Go get 'em! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: GUEST Date: 14 Feb 00 - 09:55 PM I am NOT surprised to see some of the female/female relationships here .... ie New/Cats.
As a male, with an older female relationship of MANY years I can unequivocally state....that an "older woman" satisfies a man's EVERY desire. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: fulurum Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:47 PM i remember my first relationship and it was with an older woman. i was about 13 or14 and quite inexperienced. she was in her twenties. the first time we had sex her legs were up in the air and every time i made a drive i noticed her feet would curl up. when we finished i told her how great it was and asked her if we could do it again. she said ok, but let me take off my pantyhose first this time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: MK Date: 14 Feb 00 - 10:54 PM Hmmmmmm......time to start a Mudcat Personals section? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: WyoWoman Date: 14 Feb 00 - 11:19 PM Mudcat: Where every thread
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: DougR Date: 15 Feb 00 - 12:12 AM Well, with a Thread like this, I suppose one should expect anything. :>) DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Allan C. Date: 15 Feb 00 - 08:47 AM Some people, despite their chronological age, are just old! Others are quite the opposite. I think it is more of a matter of spirit for the most part. On the other hand, not unlike WW's comment, a woman I knew dated a younger man who thought the BeeGees were the original Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band! Which brings up the matter of overlapping experience. This, to me can be of true importance. If a couple doesn't share a certain level of mutual experience, then I think there can be some real problems. In my thinking this is the deciding factor. I doubt I could spend much time with someone who never seemed to have any idea what I was talking about unless I gave a lengthy explanation. On the other side of that, I would not want to have to be constantly asking for some recognizable point of reference just so I could understand what my partner was trying to relate. But if this were not an issue, I would think that the relationship would likely be well worth pursuing. As to the questions Anna raises about who dies first or who sags where: None of us knows how long we will be in this world. None knows when a loved one might be taken from us. Loving anyone at all presents the risk of losing someone you care deeply about. I think it is far more important to just forget about all of the "what if's" and to give the gift of love you have within you today. Give it freely. Give it all! Give it now! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: MAG (inactive) Date: 15 Feb 00 - 08:30 PM Max, Be careful what you wish for. Some of us go for dark gypsy eyes. -- MA |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: GUEST Date: 15 Feb 00 - 08:50 PM Hmmm. Seems like a good topic for Valentine's Day, although I think I'll post anonymously. She was 7-1/2 years older than me, but she was every man's dream. We had a wonderful three years. She treated me like I was something absolutely wonderful. But she left for an older (and richer) man. Or rather, I left her when I found out about the older (and richer) man. That was three years ago, before my dot.com went crazy. They got married a while back, but sometimes I wonder.... ...and the dot.com isn't doing so well any more. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Little Neophyte Date: 15 Feb 00 - 09:17 PM Guest I'm lost, what do you mean by dot.com? Little Neo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: sophocleese Date: 15 Feb 00 - 09:35 PM Gee Max, would mid-thirties and married already be okay? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: BK Date: 15 Feb 00 - 09:52 PM My sweetie's only 2 yrs older than me. We've been going strong w/each other (even if muddlun' through other aspects of life) for 26 years. May help that we knew each other 10 yrs before we got married. First marriages for each of us; not first serious relationships.. We have married friends where she is 10 yrs older; Now elderly, she's had hr first stroke, but they're still going strong together.. (what w/the mortality statistics, maybe a guy is better off w/an older woman..??) But, in any case, as many have said; If the feeling,(& hopefully mutual interest),is there, GO FOR IT!! Cheers, BK |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Hagbardr Date: 15 Feb 00 - 09:59 PM Lil' Neo, a dot.com is any sort of commerce website. Most don't make money on the actual site, but on the stock. Hagbard |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: WyoWoman Date: 15 Feb 00 - 10:31 PM Oh, ta' heck with the dark gypsy eyes. Just imagine his hands on your keyboard, configuring and enabling and adding drivers and deciphering your most complicated code. These days, a woman's heart should always have room for a man who knows his way around a hard drive and is well-versed in the varieties and vagaries of software... ww |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Mbo Date: 15 Feb 00 - 10:46 PM Remember No.5? "Oooohhh Steph-a-nie! Nice software!" --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: harpgirl Date: 15 Feb 00 - 10:49 PM ...dark gypsy eyes?...nevermind...(sweetly singing)"He was just a blue eyed boston boy"... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Jeri Date: 16 Feb 00 - 05:21 PM Max, here's an idea - put yourself up in the Mudcat auction... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: sophocleese Date: 16 Feb 00 - 05:51 PM No don't! My bank balance might die a horrible painful death. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Magpie Date: 16 Feb 00 - 07:11 PM Go for it GUEST! And paddymac- good question! Personally, I think love is a wonderful thing, and things like age and gender should be viewed as minor details. (Of course, some relationships are more likely to result in babies) But, as stated earlier, real love is hard to find, and when you do find it, why should the age and gender of your chosen one matter to the rest of the world? Magpie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Fortunato Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:08 AM Romantic relationships formed on a thread must be consummated in the physical presence of those participating in the thread. fortunato |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: GUEST,Litle Joe Borg Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:53 PM What Mike didn't say was that the older woman was in a coma in a nursing home! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Sorcha Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:04 PM The Thread That Wouldn't Die--I think he has his answer! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: GUEST,Uncle Fester Date: 19 Feb 00 - 02:24 AM It's okay unless it's really hairy or smells alot... BBBBB Baby |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 19 Feb 00 - 10:27 AM Women live 5 years longer than men on average, so you'd think older wives would be the custom.
But don't go deciding in 10 years time you really want to have kids. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 19 Feb 00 - 11:15 AM "Women live 5 years longer than men on average, so you'd think older wives would be the custom.
But don't go deciding in 10 years time you really want to have kids. "
It's just occurred to me - that's onlt relevant on the assumption that the original GUEST is a man, which we have no right to assume. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Abby Sale Date: 19 Feb 00 - 11:30 AM I'm staggered that so little reference has been made to the wealth of folk wisdom in the data base. There is nothing new about the age problem and the Folk have, of course, covered it well. Please refer to Driftwood's "Very Unfortunate Man" in DT and be duly warned and cautioned. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 19 Feb 00 - 12:59 PM On the oither hand "Henery the Eighth" suggests it's not a bad idea,unless you're one of the first seven Henerys. But though there is a fair selection of songs warning about the unwisdom of marrying older men, or unduly younger women, there's not too much about older women. There's "I thank you ma'am, said Dan" - but I couldn't find that in the DT. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Little Neophyte Date: 19 Feb 00 - 02:27 PM I must add that as an older woman, when a younger man is attracted to me, I could not think of a nicer complement. In my experience, there seems to be an innocence in young men that has not been beaten down from years of failed relationships. Emotional rigormortis has not set in, and I find that very attractive. Bonnie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: GUEST Date: 02 Mar 00 - 05:06 AM |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: KingBrilliant Date: 02 Mar 00 - 06:52 AM I reckon the question to ask yourself is : how would you feel if you don't go ahead? Imagine yourself taking the decision not to go ahead, and see how it feels. If it feels wrong then you know that you should go ahead. If it feels right then that helps as well. That is the strategy I always use when on the horns of a dilema. If I can't make a decision then I just arbitrarily choose one side & try it out for size - it usually shows me which way to go. Basically its how I decided to stick with my marriage (by deciding not to & feeling bereft!) & how my sister decided not to stick with hers (by deciding not to & feeling releieved). Kris |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Wavestar Date: 02 Mar 00 - 04:39 PM My only advice with age is, don't mess around with anyone too young. By this I mean most likely younger than any of you will be looking, or at least I hope... but under 18 is bad stuff. If they are this young, and you're that much older, chances are they aren't emotionally stable enough to handle it, even if they're exceptionally mature. I know. I was that young, and if anyone I know could have handled it, I could. But the hiding was just too much, and I just couldn't do it, and it hurt so much more in the end. However... it sounds to me like you're well beyond those worries, and I say go for it... and have a good time. There are far too few good relationships in the world these days. -J |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: GUEST,Ickle Dorritt Date: 02 Mar 00 - 05:14 PM Honestly, I go to Portugal for two weeks and I come back as a bloody guest -who ate my cookie?? I am married to a man 10 years older than me and I have always told him I will stick to the following rule |
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Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman From: Mooh Date: 03 Mar 00 - 03:19 PM An older woman? So long as it's not your mother...this gets complex... |