BS: Relationship with an older woman

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Eric the Viking
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 03:54 PM

You go for it. I am never one to let too much of my real personality or private life out cos it's private, but my wife if almost 12 years younger than me. We would spend every minute together if we could,we've got 2 rug rats and have been together for 16 years- not one day wasted. Go for it and enjoy your life together if you can make it work-good luck. Eric. I would'nt have my life any other way at all, but then that's us.

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,spider tom
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 03:38 PM

In a world of toil and trouble,and multi-story rage, It would seem a might peculier, to waffle on, on age. Who could get it on as often,or up, as of't you can. True, the older woman, will outlast the youngest man.

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 01:14 PM

Guest, to add to my earlier posting there was much joy, laughter, friendship and growth in the 3 years I spent with Jeff.
Though we did not become life long partners, we both learned a great deal from each other.
I have deep appreciation for the time we did spend together.
Jeff treated me like a queen.
He had never been in a significant relations before and I found his inexperience charming.
In many ways I enjoyed being the older woman. Yet we worked together as equal partners in most aspects of our relationship.
It can work. And if it doesn't last forever, it can still be a magical experience.
All the best,
Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: kendall
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 12:18 PM

If someone sticks his nose into your relationship, my advice to you is the same as it would have been to Clinton (if he had asked) NON OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS.

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Abby Sale
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 10:40 AM

Personally, I think it all works out either way:

O, an she be young, how happy I shall be!
If that she be auld, the sooner she will die.

filename[ BROMBES3

We should always seek the Folk Wisdom for true answers in these matters.

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Frankie
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 10:25 AM

Dear Guest,

The only advice I'll give you is to keep your eyes open. When I was forty I met the love of my life (up to that point). She was twenty seven and we fell madly in love. Shortly into our relationship we discovered that we had very different ideas about how our futures would go. She was determined to have a big family and that was not something I wanted at all. We agreed, consequently, that ours would not be a long affair and reassured each other that we would always love each other no matter how it ended. Well, the longer we stayed together the closer we became and we kept postponing the inevitable. After four years, the last two of which were filled with painful breakups that never took and at the last unsucessful attempts to salvage our deep friendship, we broke it off completely. It launched me into a depression that took me more than a year to emerge from. I found out, subsequently, that she had had a similar experience.

Last year we resumed our friendship via snail mail (she moved to another state)and I was genuinely happy to learn that she had started the family that she always wanted and was (and is) doing great. As for me, I have found my dear one who is, not necessarily by design, exactly my age.

Take what you will from this tale Guest, but I have to agree with Chet "...only you know what is right."

Best Wishes, Frankie

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 10:19 AM

Ummm, jeffp? Wotcha doin' this mornin'??**BG**

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: jeffp
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 10:07 AM

Go for it and give each other a nice life. Expect problems in any relationship. Just treat each other with respect and maturity and you'll end up stronger as a result.

Also, cook breakfast for her once in a while.

jeffp

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 09:36 AM

Rich,

I don't have to ask other people at all. When you're thinking about something (which is for me) a big decision, it's nice to be able to ask people who you trust for their opinions.

As you have no idea who either of us are, the suggestion that she deserves better is misplaced and mean spirited.

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Rich
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 09:23 AM

I am 10 years older than my wife. Second marriage for both of us. I guess I'll be the one to throw cold water on the discussion; if you have to ask what other people think about YOUR potential relationship, then you aren't ready for it. And possibly she deserves better....

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 08:43 AM

Thanks for all the kind comments, you really are a very nice bunch of people.

I'm going for it, and we'll see what happens...

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: emily rain
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 04:55 AM

i seem to have a (delicious) habit of being the younger woman. but i'm still below catspaw's watermark age, so take my words with a grain of salt.

i agree with everyone else. either you'll run into difficulties or you won't. that's gonna be true of anyone you date, so relax and follow your heart. you have so much to learn from each other! take every lesson of every day as a gift.

if you succeed in deepening a friendship, how can that be a mistake?

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Llanfair
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 04:25 AM

Jim's 9 years younger than me, and we've been married 10 years. I've just hit the "big M" and Jim seems to be tolerating it OK!!!!
He says the advantage of older women is that the breakfasts are great!!!!
I was married twice before, to people my own age, and neither of them appreciated and valued me like Jim does. They also stopped talking to me after the first couple of years, about anything interesting, that is.
Jim's just getting his head round the fact that, at 43, he's a step-grandad!!!!!
Hwyl, Bron.

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Chet W.
Date: 13 Feb 00 - 12:13 AM

When I was in college I ended up, through a series of wild circumstances too long to tell, on a blind weekend date with Jane Fonda, who was several years older than me. We had some good times, re-enacting scenes from Barbarella (let me stop right there), but after a few years we realized that we just had different life-interests and went our separate ways. I still hear from her once in a while - seems this Ted Turner business is all money. Seriously, I have never had a serious relationship with a woman younger than me. I guess I was in some ways ahead of the curve on maturity level and artistic zeal. Must say it has worked out well. Guest, only you know what's right -- do it.

Chet

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: MK
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 11:51 PM

When I was in my mid 20s I was involved with a woman 9 years my senior. Best physical relationship ever, not to mention a wonderful intellectual/emotional relationship as well. Lasted for a couple of years. I think of her quite often to this day.

My advice to you: If it feels good, and, really comfortable...Go for it!

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 10:14 PM

Been there, done that. Ex-wife claimed to be 8 years older than me, was actually 11.

From where I sit (sat?), the younger male has a much easier time dealing with unconventional age difference than the older woman.

Ours deteriorated into extreme, nasty, eventually pathological jealousy -- based, I'm sure, on the fact that she started stressing about a few wrinkles, grey hair, a sag or two. This stuff meant nothing to me, everything to her, she began fixating on the idea that I was on the prowl for some young thing. (I wasn't.)

And then that unforgettable day when the supermarket clerk told her to "let your son carry this stuff."

Sure, it can work -- and often does. But before you commit, be very, very sure that SHE is going to be happy and content 10 years from now....

andy

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:59 PM

When I was 35 I got involved with someone who was 24 and we live together for 3 years.
My biggest issue was getting over our age difference.
His biggest issue was dealing with his parents who had cut him off because of our relationship.
After 3 years of working through those initial issues,
His biggest issue was "let's get married and raise a family".
My biggest issue was I am not in love.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:53 PM

Forgot to add...Charlie Chaplin and his wife..and Celine Dione and her husband there's more than 11 years appart there...

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: alison
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:51 PM

Go for it... age doesn't matter.... good luck

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:50 PM

Older women.... Mmmmmmmm....
Ever since I hit puberty I've had this fantasy about an older woman... *evil grin* Oh ya!

Well I had that fantasy just the other night, and man, I gotta tell ya... that woman? She's getting OLDER!! LOL!! I better hurry up and find her 'cause I don't want to whispering sweet nothings into a Miracle Ear...

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:48 PM

I have to agree with everyone else. Go for it mate, there is precious little difference if you love each other. Just remember pregnancy is hard on the girl around this age; but not impossible if you both want kids...I wish you both all the very best of luck. May it last forever said the sailor, amen. Yours, Aye. Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:42 PM

Hey, go for it, but many women start experiencing some real fun with hormones starting about now and you need to know who the real woman is under that and keep a focus on that once the stuff starts, and not bail out. Trust me. I'm there now. every woman I've talked to trying to understand it has just been there too. And it's not just the big M. A lot of readjusting goes on. (It also can masquerade as other weird stuff.) We're worth hangig in there with!!!!! And we go on forever!

IMHO-- If you're a stay-for-breakfast kinda guy, you're a jewel, hop into the crown!

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: Hagbardr
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 09:20 PM

When I was 19, I had a close to yearlong relationship with a woman 11 years older than me. We're broken up now but it was well worth it. There's a lot you learn from someone with more experience than you. A funny thing about the age differences... like when she reminds you that she was a senior in high school when you were in first grade.

Hagbard

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: paddymac
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 08:27 PM

I wholeheartedly concur with the thrust of all the earlier comments. My guess is that all of us have commented with a supposition of a more-or-less conventional relationship, aside from the age factor. My question is would we truly offer the same words of encouragement if the variance was something other than age? What if it involved gender, race, religion, or any of several other societal schisms? Our response ought to be the same in such circumstances, but would it?

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:50 PM

I once had a 6 year relationship where I was 16 years older. Our emotional age was about the same. was great.

MA

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: MMario
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:25 PM

go for it. there aren't enough chances for love in this world to miss one.

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:12 PM

Now that we're done with kat's math lesson..........

Once both parties get past 25 or thereabouts, it becomes less and less of an obstacle. Yes, the subject will always be there, but its not the defining part of the relationship. If it is, its not a relationship of love.

2 cents

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: wildlone
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:05 PM

11 years is a lot if one is a teen,but as we grow older age means less. What really counts in any relationship is how you feel about each other. Best of luck mate, don't rush.
dave putting his head on the block with kat.

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:02 PM

And of course, I also can't subtract! Make that 11 yrs. **BG**

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 07:02 PM

Good, you are welcome. Forgot to say that 9 years doesn't even count as a difference of age in my book!

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 06:59 PM

It's not a set up - and thanks for that

Subject: RE: BS: Relationship with an older woman
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 06:55 PM

Well, I am going out on a limb because you posted as just GUEST. Hopefully this isn't a setup. Hopefully it involves who I think it does. So...here goes:

If you both are okay with it, that is ALL that matters! Go for it. In this supposedly enlightened age, any two people who are happy together should be encouraged, as long as they are both of legal age. Go for it!

Let us know how it turns out, though, okay?

kat

Subject: Relationship with an older woman
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Feb 00 - 06:49 PM

I have deliberatly withheld my usual name here in asking this question.

I'm 32, she's 43 and I like her a lot.

Are there any reasons to suppose that the age difference might be a barrier, or should I just go for it?

Any thoughts appreciated.