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BS: The Mudcat Tavern
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Subject: The Mudcat Tavern From: Caitrin Date: 14 Mar 00 - 05:39 PM Yes, ladies and gentlemen (and I use the terms loosely), it's back: The Mudcat Tavern! The old oak tables have been dragged back in, the vile black stuff is in stock, and Caitrin is wiping down the counter, getting everything ready for our noble customers! The Tavern is back in operation, ready for its inhabitants' scintillating conversation and outrageous fun. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: JenEllen Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:02 PM Thanks doll, you got anything that won't put the whammy on my meds? One little bump to the head, and they load you up with unpronounceables....how's about a good hot mug o'tea? I'll take the corner booth and see what develops... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:05 PM Well howdy Caitrin! Ahh...it's been a good long time since I was in here! Yes, with the Micheal Mhor back, and Spaw mixing it up with Amos, it's sure to be another fine fun time. Now where's that Mario? He said he made a shiny wooden pedestal for me....I could use that for an art project! Well since I finally got it back (the school didn't feel it was a keeper) I'm hanging the AMAZING MUDCAT GUITAR up on the Mudcat Tavern Wall of Shame, right next to the thong and the calendar skivvies. Ha! It's about time someone else got to stare at that monstrosity besides me! I figure the others should be along shortly...maybe if Jon gets in tonight I'll play him "Blackberry Way" again. LA LA LA! NEW SONGS! LA LA LA! NEW TUNES! LET THE FUN BEGIN!!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:13 PM (A tall, stunning, buffed out youth in brows delivery-service fatigues comes through the door bearing a large package, definitely longer than wide, with curiously rounded ends.) ) Hey! Goy named M. Blow in here? Got a pedestal. Instructions say you have to bend over for receipt. Never mind, just sign here. ) ) (Glancing nervously at the raspberry jello pit, he drops the long paper-wrapped parcel on the floor next to Mbo and exits nervously). |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:31 PM Thank Gods! the War is over! Truce is declared! Draw me a long pint, Cat, me girl, then come set a while. Ye'll be workin' hard enough soon, when the boys get here to roll in the hay! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:38 PM Ah.. all my friends are returning this is nice. Hand me that pot of tea please Caitrin looks like Jenellen needs a refill... Jaysus put some Brandy in it for her Aye... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 06:39 PM Agent Praise reels in from the street and hops onto a barstool. "I'm outta that F**ing Mudcat FBI for keeps this time! The f**ing grant is submitted, the f**ing mailing is as done as this woman's goin' to do it, the f**ing staff are back to being productive-- the perfect time!! I quit! Gimme an oil tankerful of yer best or I'm off to see what cujimmy's pourin' at the British Isles Mudcat Tavern! An' hey-- didja see that buff boyo in uniform that just left? Ah, he was butt-ugly till he smiled, then he broke my f**ing heart! Men-- there you are--- form a press gang and get him back here-- I'm takin' over the jello pit! Along with any man big enough to share it with!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:01 PM Praise Praise Praise! Rehashing old material? C'mon, it wasn't THAT funny! And watch that Billingsgate around here! **BOG** Hmmm....wonder what's in this package? Oh and Praise, I'm not getting in that thing, so forget it! And the Speedo is DEFINATELY out of the question! That's Micheal Mhor's territory! :{> --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:08 PM psssst: (i have been told this woman hangs out with a man of G-D, and now she's admitting to being a secret agent? And SUCH language from the Rector's lady!) Boy we better be a little more careful who we let in here, guys. She might even play (gasp!) Klezmer on AUTOHARP! Bring me another pint, I have to keep my strenght up! Or it will get limp! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:26 PM Alright gang! It's "Green Autumn Stubble" time! Ye-YES! Let's see, we've got a fiddle, an autoharp, and my guitar--think we can work it out! LET'S ROCK!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:45 PM Mbo, No, no, not autoharp, washboard for that!!! And not wunna them Cajun things ya gotta wear-- too hard to clean after... well... too hard to clean!!! And a waste of church keys! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:51 PM "No, I'm sorry Mrs. Clumberbutt, Father Hardiman is not at home right now to discuss your unfortunate situation. He is at church this evening, preaching to the choir. What? No... I am sorry I cannot listen to your problem myself and either solve it or tell him all about it... No I'm sorry, there is too much interference on the phone... no I am NOT at home at present, but that is NOT the hound of hell you are hearing in the background... not exactly that is... I am out in the field this evening, on call for disaster relief, and this is my cell phone... it's breaking up, too much interference from the JAY EE ELL ELL OH pit.... Yes, I will tell him you called, F88k you very much Mrs. Clumberbutt... Oh yes dear I mean Sorcha, you are too kind...." |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:52 PM Um...ok. --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 07:54 PM And furthermore, if this is not an equal opportunity tavern, go to hell! LOL, PWO |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:05 PM Praise World Order? And don't knock Sorcha! She my future...ok never mind! **BOG** HEY! This song needs some serious bass, who's gonna venture a go on the Mudcat Guitar? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:14 PM Sorcha? Did you tip the nod to young Mbo at long last? Oh, hurray...this calls for a celebration. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:21 PM Amos, Amos, Amos. Let's step into my office when we can speak privately... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:25 PM Hell, Mbo, if you can't spit it out in the Mudcat Tavern, where CAN you spit it out? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone -- or need to. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:33 PM Oh no, it ain't that at all, my friend. I just wanted you to meet a friends of mine...Rick Fielding is his name, and he has a penchant for Ferris Wheels...and making people go bye-bye. Unnastan? **BG** --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:40 PM (The muffled, deepwater rumble of 1947 Indian hemi penetrates the Tavern's walls briefly, and a tall darkeyed poet strides through the door, wearing a long black roundup coat and a slouch hat pulled low over his eyes. He carries a battered Martin case, layered with travel stickers and steamer stamps. A small vibrant, bright-eyed capuchin monkey rides easily on his shoulder, waving happily to old friends of the marsupial persuasion he sees on the floor). GOD!! Am I glad to be here. Nearly got run over by a big truck with a E_C_N_A_L_U_B_M_A sign on it , flashing and beeping, heading west toward Infinite Loop of Discourse, old threads streaming out of it ...Had a bunch of angry looking minks clinging to the rooof. Had a green glow around it. Scared the heck outa me! Anyone know what it was? Miss Caitrin, if you would be so graciously inclined, I would love two pints of Guiness in a one-quart Catfish mug...thankee, you are as kind as you are beautiful, which says a lot for the future happiness of the world. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:49 PM Yo Amos, since I'm pretty much forced to take ceramics classes this summer, and NOT being a Pied Piper, I could make you a whole set of Mudcat mugs, enough to restock the shelves. At 5 hours a day, I should be able to pump out say, 15...4 days a week, that's um....yeah, well, I guess they WERE right when they said you need to know math to be an artist! Even if you just sit at a computer all day and make little designs! AS STUBBLE LANDS WERE GREENIIIIING, SHE CAME AMONG THE STOOOOKS!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Biskit Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:49 PM Man I've been looki' for this place Break a pint' wrap some fish in paper pass the malt vinager and I'' be in the corner wit' my guitar breakin' young girls hearts. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:50 PM Mbo, Pants Wetting Opportunity. You be the judge. Context is all. Whaddaya hafta do ta get a DRINK around here? Ah F**K-- didja hafta POUR it all over me?
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: GUEST,Dark-Eyed Poet Date: 14 Mar 00 - 08:55 PM Ne'e'r fear, Miss Rev -- just dry-praise it. Mister Bo, if you make a dozen pint mugs in Mudcat colors with a banjo and catfish, and maybe gold letters, I'll buy one from you if you give half to the Cat,. Wodda deal! Cut down on those goddamn 404s |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:01 PM Man it's a busy night around here! Praise, with the PWO AND the Jello pit yer already soaking wet...so why complain about the drink? And now Biskit's giving me competition as The Sad Eyed Young Poet....and Amos won't keep his eyes in his head! AND GRACE WAS IN YOUR FEET THEN AND LOVE WAS IN YOUR LOOOOKS!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:02 PM Ah, the hell wi' it......pour the rector's lady a drink. After all them flats she probly needs it. An Mbo, let's not let that cat outa the bag to soon dearie. We don't want THEM to know, know do we? (Let alone herself!) AND, I'd use thimbles on a washboard, if I had one. So, somebody fiddle me "Jolie Blone", cause I don't know it! Round for the house! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:23 PM Um....I ain't never heard of that tune, Sorcha. And neither has anyone else, obviously! I canna find it! If someone wants to take over the guitar in mid-song, I can do my fiddle solo... IN YOUR CHEEKS THE ROSE GREW REDDER AND YOUR HAIR IN CLUSTERS LAAAAAAY!!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:26 PM Yes, Sorcha, metal thimbles and a Jim Dunlop thumbpick. And finally a place loud enough to unpack and pay the claves!!!! Dry me off, mates, they're slipping outta my hands! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:28 PM CHEEKS? HAIR GREW IN CLUSTERS? Matthew, I Never! You definitely owe the house a round for that one! (Ah, my son, my son.......) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:33 PM Hey, you can't Sting me on this one, the lyrics ain't mine, just the music. Ask dead Mr.Patrick Browne to pay, I'm a starving artist! AND I WOULD WE LIVED TOGETHER OR TOGETHER SLIPPED AWAAAAAY!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:38 PM LIVED TOGETHER?? UNH-HU, THIS IS THE MOTHER GOD SPEAKING............ALL OR NOTHING, BOYO! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:46 PM .......uh,huh..........just as I thought, the usual suspects...........I'll not stay now, just out looking for Cleigh....thought he might have dropped by to whizz in the jello pit or crap on the ELO collection or pester the flamingos..............Say where are the flamingos? MEEBO!!! Same species man, same species!!!!............oy..................I gotta go bail Cletus out too so I'll check y'all later................... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Hardiman the Fiddler Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:47 PM The man strode into the tavern. He was wearing a black Drover's Coat and carrying a fiddle in its case in one hand. A man of few words, he strides over to the bar and orders a double. The fellow at the next stool introduces himself as Mbo, and asks the stranger his name. "Hardiman, the Fiddler." "Say, ain't that your wife in the jello pit, with the wet tee shirt?" "Yeah, that's her . . ." "Don't you think you ought to do something about it?" "Na, ain't nothing I haven't seen before, and anyway, you might just as well go talk to the tree stump out in the yard. Think I'll play some wallow in the jello jigs, anyone know a good slip jig? Guess I'll play Hardiman. Hey barkeep! Give the Fiddler a dram, cause this fiddler don't give a dram anymore." A lady approaches the fiddler, and smiles, aksing, "Say old man, can you play the fiddle?" Hardiman smiles back and gleefully responds, "In more ways than one...." |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:50 PM Thanks for the encouragment, mother god! And now for the chorus which is my own, and I take full responsibility for it... SHE STRODE THE GREEN AUTUMN STUBBLE ON THAT FATEFUL DAAAAY AND OH I THANK THE LORD ABOVE FOR BRINGING YOU MY WAAAAY! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 09:53 PM LOL at this PWO, Praise LEAPS out of the jello pit, coldcocks the lady talking to her HUSBAND, pokes the barkeep in the eye, whacks the fiddler over the head with the empty pint jar in her hand, and (felicity restored) saunters out back into the alley looking for.... he knows. She's thinking, "Shit! That is the LAST time I tell that SOB where I'm going!" He doens't hear, havinbg not yet been revived, and the revelers simply step over hoim. None remember to say so much as a prayer, till Mbo, ever mindful of what's proper with clergy, begins a mournful Celtic lament for the fallen... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:07 PM Man that Praise has got ants in her pants! Poking poor Caitrin in the eye and smashing the glass over mom god Sorcha's head! Assaulting the good ladies of this place--what's this world coming to? Now where's Aine when you need her? The Gaelic Goddess coulda hogtied her faster than a jackrabbit in the dark. She's got Texas Ranger in her blood you know! IT'S TRUE HE HEARS HIS PEOPLE'S PRAYERS, DON'T CARE WHAT CRITICS SAAAAAAY FOR HE SURELY ANSWERED MINE ALRIGHT WHEN HE CROSSED OUR PATHS THAT DAAAAAY!!!! Wheee! Fiddle solo time! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Hardiman the Fiddler Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:12 PM Mbo's fiddling revives Hardiman, and in appreciation for his ministrations, Hardiman buys Mbo copious rounds of fine distilled spirits. Guess Praise is still out in the alley.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:17 PM Wot? She smacked the Mother God? I been outa here tryin to my good deed for the day with Homeless, and she smacked me? For WHAT!! Well, Jenny dang the weaver, her! I'll just give him Jenny's welcome to charlie, an there's that! ( We'll probly get in trouble for this, from You Know Who!) It's worth it! Give the fiddler a dram, and the red haired man's wife, while you're at it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:21 PM Quietly sipping his glass of Black Bushmills and watching the fun. The ancient mariner is wondering why all the violence. Oh well just some folks playing around I guess. Aye. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:21 PM Thanks, Hardiman! Back to the song! Second verse now guys!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:37 PM She saunters back in, nervously, humming a tune Hardiman sings when he thinks no one is listening, "All her praises are shrouded with clouds of blue..." Taking quick stock of the sitcheeayshun she has created for her own sillie self, bit seeing that the gang have moved on now to even lower lows, she slips quietly into place beside the Ancient Mariner. "I fell in," she says. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:42 PM My god what HAVE you people been doing in here? Never mind, I don't want to know...just rev up the magic caffiene machine and pour me a couple of quarts of mocha java....the group was discussing *shudder* business tonight |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:45 PM And another good tune I like to play, Sorcha, dare I say it? "Kiss Me ****"! Whoa! Wanna here my song? Click here! Weeeeee! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:45 PM Oh, uh, hi Mmario... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: TheMuse Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:51 PM Mbo, Pretty cool . . . . TheMuse |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 10:58 PM Don't worry praise, I mean, voice from over there, with these lead coated dark glasses on I don't see a thing. Nothing. I see nothing, I know nothing, I just hear music.... *sniff* why does the place smell of jello and beer? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:01 PM Uhhh, hi, Master Mario, THL Sorcha has not had anything to do with this broughaha, Praise started it. Fell, my fiddle, she JUMPED! Don't let her get away with this, Haridman! I slapped her back first! K-K-Katy, come rescue the Mother God! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:07 PM ME TOO! ME TOO! Oops, second verse... METHOUGHT I CAME BESIDE HERE AND HELD HER TENDERLYYYY AND ALL ERIN IN DEFIED THEN TO PART MY LOVE AND MEEEEEE! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:14 PM Mbo? you slapped Praise? Have you lost your mind? Don't you know the power of Episcopal Church Women? they have this worldwide network. You can never escape! Believe me, I know...they hunt you down, make you *sob* set up card tables, move chairs, and (it's almost too horrible to tell) ATTEND POT-LUCKS! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:17 PM The tall dark stranger stands up and takes the ebullient and somewhat dazed praise lady by the elbow.
"Pardon me, ma'am, don't mean to intrude. Just kinda helpin, if that's okay. Let me offer you som eof our very best black coffee straight from Miss Caitrin's own coffee machine. There ya go. Now, look, ye got all that jello on you, and that's a shame, but we'll get it put right....just step this way if you would ma'a'm, please...we got us a nice cold shower room right in the back here, just what the Doctor ordered...." |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:23 PM PTL, and pass the eyelashes! What happend to the barmaid anyhow? Barmaid-------barmaid, the eyelashes need another pint or two here, to offset the green jello! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: rangeroger Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:24 PM Hi there,this is my first here.I was in the neighborhood and heard the caterwauling and thought I'd drop in.Name' rangeroger and I'll have a pint of that vile black stuff and a double shot of single malt to wash it down with. OOH what is that stuff in that pit? Is that Jello? Do you all mind if I do a belly-flop off that diving board into it. YEEEEEEEHHHHAAAAAA. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:27 PM Good thing we installed that splashboard at the jello pit, isn't it? But that looked painful. Drip your way over to the bar and put a round or three onto Bert's platinum symolian credit card. (We've been charging on the thing for MONTHS and they haven't canceled it yet....) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:34 PM But M. Mario, it's GREEN! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:37 PM What's green? Bert's card? Bert, you gotta green card? *I'm SO confuzzled* |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:40 PM A clear sweet voice, only slightly marred by the hysterical soprano laughter she has been emitting, issues forth from the shower... "I once~~~ was lost~~~ but now~~~ am found~~~ wah-uhz BLIND~~~ but now~~~ I seeeeee~~~~~~....." and then, "WHAT can wash A-WAY my SIN? NOTHING but the BLOOD of Jesus.... Oh, precious is the flow~~~ that~~ makes me white as sno~oh..." Mmario tips his head slightly to hear.... "They don't sing that one at any Episcopal Church I ever went to!" Someone whispers softly, "She doesn't have the Electric Autoharp in there does she?" Normally Hardiman would go see (just to keep her safe!), but he has fallen asleep-- couldn't hold his likker apparently... said he had an early Lenten service. in the morning... with the ECW making breakfast....
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:44 PM Man, if she can sing that way in a cold shower think what she could do in a steam bath.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:44 PM And here I thought the ECW only made green pancakes on Shrove Tuesday! MMario--green, as in Nickolodean green slime--you got kids? It's Green Week, Maestro,eh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:48 PM Geeziz this place is a mess!!! Hey somebody check the stockroom and see if that cleanser that Art and I brought in is still there..........Hope so........say what Mario?.....Yeah, that's it .... FUG Soap..GREAT STUFF.......Okay, let's pass out some of this and see if we can't get some of this carnage.........geeziz gawd whaadda MESS........Ok, all those dirty glasses, just FUG 'em........Get Sorch over here and Praise too....Thanks Amos...yeah, take 'em in the shower room and FUG 'em real good............Now that floor around the jello pit, we may never get that clean again...Mario that's your job...just FUG it..........and someone be sure young Meebo gets completely FUGGED, gawd knows he's in need............I dunno, I think the whole place needs a good FUGGIN'.............C'mon group, let's get to it!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:52 PM nah - the Men's auxilary makes pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, then the ECW spends all of Lent complaining about how they will never get the kitchen clean again. oops! Did *I* type that? Gotta double check that coffee machine, I think it's putting shots of kahlua into the cappacino. It's green slime week? Again? wasn't it green slime week just last month? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:55 PM HEY! Sorch the cook doan do no scrubbin'! She calls in the drudges for that! Drudge G, Where are ye when we need ye? Git in here an clean up this mess! Green slime, my pussim! (Trubble cumin now, I cin see it WOW, bad moon risin) Yours, the Feast o Crat that doan do dishes, Mum Sorchawearegoingtogetinbigtrubbleyetforthis |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:55 PM 'spaw - after we all get FUGged, how about hammering down some dulcimer? BTW - did you know that flamingo droppings will strip the dried jello right off that tile? then the only problem is cleaning up the droppings. But I figure we can let it dry and then just sweep it out back... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: catspaw49 Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:58 PM Aw just FUG it Mario........ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:58 PM While we're at it 'Spaw, yer lookin' a little gray behind the ears -- Sorcha, jus' take this spnge here an' FUG him, okay? I have a spare protonic matrix cerebrum here he could use, too -- an' one for Meeebo, too. WHat? They already have one? That's last year's model, just replace it with one of these. No, you don't cut them off -- just screw their brains out and then drop these in their place, see? Get Wyo to help you there if it's a little too much, I understand... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 14 Mar 00 - 11:58 PM Mrs. Clumberbutt. Ok, you prefer to be called Sorcha. I'm sorry to hear about your Trubble cumin now but until you give up this pose you will never know true peace. WOBFugged???? ~~ p r a y s |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:10 AM Don't worry, momSorcha, I get it! Just watch out for that green river of Jello and all will me fine! But I'm really good at cleaning kitchens...I'll be your drudge if you want! Argg...back to the song! FOR THOUGH SKIES SHOULD SEND THE DELUGE OR THE SNOWY NORTH ITS FLAAAAAKES WE TWO COULD LIVE AS PLEASANT AS THE SWANS UPON THE LAAAAKE!!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:12 AM Spungin' spungin, spungin, til thet pussims's clean, Spungin,spungin,spungin ain't my rector mean? got them spungin blues,Lawd, til that pussims ass be clean........... will that do? And I promise not to take the linens to the commercial cleaners! I WILL do them at home with club soda! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: rangeroger Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:12 AM Sorry I made such a mess of the place, I guess I,d better get FUGGED. Caitrin could I have another pint of that vile black stuff and another double...no make that a double double of single malt. What is that funny contraption on the wall? Is that a guitar? Do you mind if I play it? I'll sing you my version of "Urge For Going". |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:14 AM Aw, too bad, Looks like the ECW already got out dear Sorcha. Club soda. Oh dear. we have to get her back outta their clutches,,,, when this headache wears off... She's just about set to take over the HAG society with the club soda... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:19 AM ECW....East Carolina Wrestling? I know a certain someone who might enjoy that! And Praise, HAG better not mean what I THINK it means! As for me, LID and LON gots me! La la la! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:21 AM OH, no I ain't gonna go to to them Club Soda Blues, not tonite! (Missed that one,P--is that HAGannah,HAGiss Society, wot?) Got enough going with the Jello Pit Blues.......gimme lime,gimme cherry, gimme just some fruit an berries........ah, time to give it up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:26 AM Be thou ignorant of the HAG Sopciety??? No one here knows the HAGS???? Must I teach you all of the basics of sound churchmanship and churchwoman goodnitude?
Holy... Altar... Guild.... Society Well, it is a technical term, I'm sorry. Mbo, ECW, see mmario's post above-- read, man! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:29 AM The dark stranger steps up to the half-step stage with an unslung Martin Dreadnoughti n his hand, a lipstick tube on one finger, and sets up on a stool and starts the steel strings whining like sunlight on black water....
Trouble, trouble in mind
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:30 AM I think I'll just stick my head in through the swinging doors and see what's going on in this place...Whoops! Wrong joint for me..I better go next door... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:32 AM Read? Why? Makin' up stuff is MORE fun! AND I SPOKE TRIPPING GAELIC AND MERRY SONGS I'VE SUUUUNG AND NOW MY WITS ARE CRAZY AND LEADEN IS MY TOOOOONGUE!! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:45 AM Ah, Praise, dear, I'm so sorry, I learned it as AWG, Altar Women's Guild.........I guess here in the Hinterlands we forget about the Holy part........ Amos, is the jello pit Blu Raspberry now? Praise, according to my clock it is now after midnite at your house........are you really Night Owl? (giggle) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: GUEST,Dave (the ancient mariner) Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:48 AM Spaw pass me that jello shovel mate. Gawd what a mess, I wish you would drink the boose and not throw it at one another...Guiness and Jello do not mix...but boy do they smell bad on the floor, phew! Aye. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:49 AM GOOD BYE BLACKBERRY...um...jello? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:53 AM HAWG? I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna tell, I'm gonna holler an' I'm gonna yell! I'll getchoo in trubble, fer EVERYTHING ya do... an' I'm gonna tell, on you! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 12:58 AM PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE Please all join me in a moment of loving Mudcat silence.... silence.... Our dear new friend Troll has been away from us and is not feeling too perky. Let's raise a glass to that Chordwaster and good, good friend, Troll! And as we celebrate the safe return of the Big Mick, another toast: to all dear ones still absent... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:03 AM AWRIGHT! RAISE A GLASS FOR TROLL!!! OK, now the Troll Song in his honor! Everybody: TROLL SAT ALONE ON A SEAT OF STONE.... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:09 AM Ah me, I am laughing so hard I can't type! Will any of us ever sort this out? Even for Aine? I guess it's one of those You Had To Be There type things.....how many threads is it actually in , now? I will try to sort out the Jello Pit Blues/Episcopal Christian Women tomorrow, but I don't make ANY promises! Oh dear God, ROOFLMAO! We are gonna get in sooooo much trubble from the True Conscience of Muudccat! Wayyy to much silliness in one night! It's Big Mick's fault! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:18 AM I'll take the nails this time, Sorcha, it's OK. It had to happen. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:19 AM Hey, they might be able to get us in the regular threads, but the Mudcat Tavern is ours ever more to be silly in! Thanks for starting it up for us, Caitrin. **EWWWWW** someone got jello on my guitar sling, the one I bought in Japan... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:24 AM Praise: 1:18 AM in PA??????? s'Ok, thanks to daughter Kate I'm sorta into 9 Inch Nails too,but yes, it is about time! (But we'll get in so much trouble!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 01:30 AM Sorcha, trade those in for 9-inch heels and be your own real self! Yes, 1:18, still early. I have been on such a crazy schedule, last night was the first since I joined here that I didn't have huge work projects looming over me that for various reasons HAD to be done and COULDN'T be done. Now they are done and about done, one's only a mailbox away. And I've never had a place big enought to play in before, with people who could play like I guess I like to play. I think I'll probably get cut a big length of Big Guy slack on this one. Had to happen-- too many people telling me how saintly I am here-- I am really just another wacky catter, even tho' a dangerously Christian one. Now chill!! And ya know what? Trubble? Hah! WOULD NOT TRADE TONIGHT FOR ANYTHING. So glad you were in on it! this is |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 15 Mar 00 - 04:15 AM Praise be (sorry for pun -no you're not- oh well...)the ole Tavern is back. Enter dishevelled old fart, still shrugging off straitjacket labelled "If found please return to Brian Wilson Ward NYCFTTS". Produces Chinese-made all-plastic permanently off-key kazoo and tries chorus of Dudley Canal Tunnel Song. Starts singing "Push, boys, push". Invitation too much for music-loving clientele who oblige. Climbs out of jello pit, shakes jello out of kazoo, slumps on stool with a large Metaxas and starts telling Aynuck and Ayli stories to the stuffed parrot. Parrot falls off perch. Someone has phoned Center, men in white coats come and remove him to the strains of "They're coming to take me away, aha". [senior staff all away at Conference, we're all a little light headed here!] RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 15 Mar 00 - 03:44 PM *polishing the bar with a clean dry cloth* okay - everything's cleaned up from last night, what a way to welcome Mick back...say, did anyone mention it to Koko? I can't stay this evening, am on animal duty and have a kitchen to clean, (more cleaning, yeuch! FUGit!) But hope y'all have fun in here. Will have the radio on, I hope, but probably only towards the end.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 04:41 PM I just stopped in to pick up the undies I thought I left in the jello pit, but now I'm off to a Lenten event where all the ECW's of the convocation will be clustered at one giant parish supper and worship service!!! Yikes!!! A convocation is a group of churches in a geographic cluster. Hardiman is the convenor (like the dean) of ours. I am Mrs. Convenor (woh, heavy, dude). And I go forth into this with my throat sprained from letting laughs out that were too big for the opening, and thus will be unable to laugh while there. I dare not return to the Tavern till the sprain is healed!!! But do carry on! Perhaps another Newbie will lose her underwear this evening! And I never found mine, so-- keep an eye out fer 'em and fly 'em proud! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Bradypus Date: 15 Mar 00 - 06:27 PM Madam Convenor Your underwear's cleaner It's Jelloed and washed in the gin If that convocation Should loose its location Come back here and give us a grin You suffer from throat strain It really is quite plain The shower you shouldn't sing in Your deadlines are dead now So come, loose your head now The party just waits to begin Is that a bottle of Talisker back there? Yes, just as she comes. I'll take it and nurse it over there. It's not for the taste, you understand - it's for the fine ideas it puts in my head |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 15 Mar 00 - 07:08 PM
Crosses room pushing a very large pushbroom across the floor, into the corners, which brings out a brightly colored set of lacy unspeakables. Lifts them on the business end of the broom and recites: |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 07:33 PM Well, I finish my song! What should I sing NOW? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 15 Mar 00 - 08:11 PM How about "Red River Valee", sir Bo? Such a pretty tune...gulp....jes' a sec ...I'll get a stiff drink. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 08:23 PM Ok, I know that one Amos! I'll follow it up by singing "Desperados Waiting For A Train." Deal? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 15 Mar 00 - 08:55 PM The phone rings. It's Praise, who is calling to confirm the rumor circulating through the Northern Tier convocation that her undies, whihc once were lost, now are found, were sopiled, but now redeemed. "Ah, that's good," she croaks weakly, "I knew I could leave 'em to you friends. Perhaps if ye'll just send the lad over with a bottle, I'll stay in tonight... oh, I don't care, the Glenfyddich or the Jameson, it's all the same to me... make it the Glenfyddich then, and be a good soul and throw in the half-empty Drambuie wasting away on the shelf-- it's Rusty Nails for Lent." A delegation is selected to convoy the goods, but Biskit breezes in and lifts the brown bag neatly as he exits the men's room. "I'm headed that way anyhow and I heard she doesn't really want company so I'll drop it off. Was there a translation from the Latin to inscribe on the bag though?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 10:04 PM Hey, I was just singing, and I turn my back for ONE minute, and everyone disappears! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Lonesome EJ Date: 15 Mar 00 - 11:38 PM What ho, Lords and Ladies? Pray tap yon publican on the shoulder of his tattered shirtsleeve and by so doing draw his gaze from the teasing red-lipped vixen Who through display of various savory wares hath mislead him from the valiant weilding Of th' various pumps and handles that doth compose the hardware of his employment! And now, having at last gained his all-wandering eye, I must call Hither, good fellow! Some of the nectar of the gods is my aim! Draw for me a brimming cup that I might quaff deeply! Oh, and if you've got change for a fiver I'll get some tunes going on the jukebox... Leige |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Sorcha Date: 15 Mar 00 - 11:41 PM THAT WOMAN is over at Jon's place downloading something called Feelme and she refuses to come redeem her knickers! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 15 Mar 00 - 11:49 PM TouchMe HearMe FeelMe SeeMe...ooooh..where can I download THAT? --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 16 Mar 00 - 12:09 AM In hoc signo NON victo Sed sum multo derelicto! Vale, scantii pantum sanctum Showered when I shoulda spanked-um." In this sign I did not conquer But did much neglect my honor! Greetings, scanty sacred panties Shoulda spanked 'em instead of showering 'em.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Mar 00 - 12:16 AM Oh, really? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 16 Mar 00 - 12:27 AM Yep! **BOSEG** |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: wysiwyg Date: 16 Mar 00 - 12:44 AM Well, this is the part I don't get: In this sign I did not conquer But did much neglect my honor! Is that you or me speaking there? And dear-- spank OR shower? And/And, sillie! Let's just visit over a glass... Biskit never showed up with the F**in Rusty Nails!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 16 Mar 00 - 05:40 AM A large 3-star please, barkeep. OK I promise not to sing, but while it's quiet let me tell you a story. A strange thing happened at the NYCFTTS one night a few weeks ago, a patient got out of a padded cell. He begged me to help him escape. He said his name was Barry Fox or Harry Cox or something. He claimed he was snatched from his home by a group of bearded, middleaged ,slightly overweight men wearing matching t-shirts with a strange device. The only other thing he noticed was they all had their fingernails cut short on one hand (usually the left) and long on the other. Then there was some rambling about cats, fish and...macks was it? Just then the nurses ran up,wrestled him to the ground and put him back in his soundproof cell. As they dragged him away, he was yelling that he had lots of lawyers and something about DTs so perhaps he had a drink problem, (so do I, can't get enough, yes, just a large one please, thanks). I offered to sing to calm him but he shouted something about royalty, so perhaps he has delusions of grandeur. Any way no-one has heard from him since, and it's been very quiet around the Brian Wilson Ward, and not just because I'm still trying to get the jello out of my kazoo. What do you think barkeep? Spooky or what? Barkeep? Damn, he sneaked off to wipe tables. That keeps happening to me, must change my aftershave, my jokes or my personality. At least the parrot's still here, not to mention the flamingos and Waylon Heron. RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Biskit Date: 16 Mar 00 - 10:55 AM whadaheckjamean! do I play Joni Mitchell??!!! I've looked at clouds from both side now I really don't know clouds at all!!!!!! what kinda Cr@p is that!!!! Mbo! Mbo! bring that fancy gitfiddle over here see if you can't appease these beasties!!!! HEY! is that fug ceanser any good, man I need a drinka sumpin strong!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Molly Malone Date: 16 Mar 00 - 11:04 AM Does green Jello go with Guinness? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 16 Mar 00 - 11:15 AM molly.molly.molly. Guiness goes with ANYTHING. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Molly Malone Date: 16 Mar 00 - 11:41 AM Sorry...I'm living in an alternate universe right now... Corporate America. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Amos Date: 16 Mar 00 - 12:12 PM It does if you wear the Jello on top, and the Guinness below, sweet Molly! ;>) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Mbo Date: 16 Mar 00 - 12:12 PM Sure, Biskit, by my guest to try out the Big Bullhead himself--but be warned, it's a bass guitar, and the strings, unlike me, are not wrapped too tight. But if'n you REALLY get an "Urge For Goin'", the restroom is right down the hall! YEEEEEHAAA! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 16 Mar 00 - 12:25 PM *a strange, hollow-sounding voice echoes throughout the tavern.* the threads load a heck of a lot easier if you move over to the newer one.....
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: Molly Malone Date: 16 Mar 00 - 02:12 PM D*nm! I musta missed a memo...you know, the one with the blue clicky....hey, where'd ya' go? MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmarioooooooooooooooooooooooo? Ok, did someone turn the reverb up, or didchall move? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mudcat Tavern From: MMario Date: 16 Mar 00 - 02:19 PM we're at the St. Pat's party in the front room. follow me! |