MORE WORST LINES

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Mbo
Date: 29 Mar 00 - 11:21 AM

How similar is this song to "Whisky In The Jar (Kilgary Mountain)"? It sounds like they have a common origin. Do they?

--Mbo

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: fox4zero
Date: 30 Mar 00 - 01:19 AM

I think that the 3-handed feat was done by the POETIC LICENSE ploy....you know, "the 3rd hand is quicker than the eye".

Larry Parish

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 02:47 PM

Refresh. Apparently several of us posted to the old thread without noticing there was a new one. OOPs!

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 05:11 PM

I write the songs that make the young girls cry.

The initial post of the first thread referred to this song. It is so bad it makes me want to cry and I am not young or a girl. Barry you should have quit after the Coke commercials.

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: GUEST,Irish
Date: 26 Sep 01 - 10:57 PM

"You were dead on the floor
Hey this chiken tastes poor
Now I've lost my apple core
Hi there molly you're a whore
I know you've done it with a spore
What is my penis good for
I'm going to the candy store
I want to rape a wild boar
I'll find one at the sea shore
Molly get off your ass there's tea to pour
I don't want to go to war
before I finish carving this oar
My goldfish tend to snore
MolllllYYYYYYY!!!!! Did you rape my goat it's bleeding from it's A**whole?"
I'm sorry I don't know who this is by, I've had this one my computer for a while, it was so ridiculus.

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: dorareever
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 01:47 PM

The last verse of "green field of France" (the Willie McBride song) is one of my favorite verses! I LOVE it.I love the again and again part so much---it's depressing,but WWI is a depressing thing indeed.Okay I have a passion for depressing lines and music myself so maybe I'm weird.

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: LR Mole
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 02:01 PM

Barry didn't write "I write the songs that make the young girls cry." THAT was written by Bruce Johnston, sometime Beach Boy. He also wrote "Dierdre" for them surfin dudes (and pronounced it "deer-dree": is this correct, crossponders? We say it :DEEdruh", when we say it at all.)

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: GUEST,Frogmore
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 02:08 PM

"Yummy,yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy." That's personally the most intolerable to me. By the way, whatever you do, do not ever listen to Pat Sky's "Songs that made America Famous." (And, on the count of 1-2-3, do not think about elephants.)

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Ivan
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 02:09 PM

I don't know if anyone else has mentioned him before but Roger Miller gets my vote for deliberately? terrible lines e.g. "Four street lights and one old grocery I ain't longin'to stay here no siree!"

"Kansas City Star that's what I are"

"England swings like a pendulum do Bobbies on bicycles two by two"

Who can compete with that?

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: dwditty
Date: 27 Sep 01 - 02:40 PM

Ivan, Neil Diamond...that's who.

dw

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: DMcG
Date: 28 Sep 01 - 02:31 PM

I actually like the carol 'The Turth Send from Above' (in the DT) but whoever wrote it had a way of coming up with pretty unlikely rhymes

...
Ruined themselves, both you and me
and all of their posterity

So we were raised to endless woes
Till God the Lord did interpose
....

Posterity? Interpose?? Not your everyday vocab.

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: DMcG
Date: 28 Sep 01 - 02:32 PM

Sorry, 'the truth send from above'. I haven't seen a turth in ages

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: allie kiwi
Date: 01 Oct 01 - 11:50 PM

Has anyone remembered the joys of :

Oooooooh Lord, it's hard to be humble When you're perfect in everyway

I think that whole song qualifies here. *grin*

Allie

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 12:18 AM

I don't see how " Oh Lord, It's Hard to be Humble" qualifies as a worst line or worst song. Surely everybody realizes it's tongue-in-cheek? At least I hope they do when I sing it.

Someone on the older thread had the audacity to nominate one of the lines from Merle Haggard's "Okie from Muskogee".

I guess being a Mudcatter is no guarantee that one possesses a sense of humor.

Murray

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: allie kiwi
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 12:25 AM

Are you implying I have no sense of humour because I nominate a song that you happen to enjoy?

Yes, I know it is tongue in cheek, but it still has ridiculous lines.

It is you who are without a sense of humour I think.

Allie

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Troll
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 12:32 AM

She ain't Raquel but what the hell, it's warm and it's free. From "Warm And Free" by Shel Silverstein.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: allie kiwi
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 12:40 AM

A few people mentioned the lyrics to 'Seasons in the sun'.

I wonder if it is a good translation of the original, since was it not in French to begin with? Perhaps by translating it, it lost a little something?

Anyone know?

Allie

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 11:28 AM

"I sold my heart to the junkman..."
Amazing how much crap was produced during the fifties and sixties. I spent two hours wallowing in it trying to find the lyrics to "Pussycat" for another thread.

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 01:48 PM

"UNBREAK MY HEART!!!" (repeat at numerous intervals throughout song)

And then, I believe McCartney used the line "in this world in which we live in"....Ha! Ha! Ha!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: cyder_drinker
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 05:53 PM

"I was so upset, I cried... ...All the way to the chip shop"

-Jilted John

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 07:51 PM

"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!"

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 01 - 08:02 PM

"If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?"

(Okay for country...godawful by any other standard.)

LOL!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Roughyed
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 05:59 PM

I like the Jilted John line, at least it was deliberate. The line that always set my teeth on edge (among a wide selection from Duran Duran) was 'You're about as peaceful as a nuclear war.' It manages to be banal, distasteful, inelegant and inappropriate all at the same time.

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Sarah T
Date: 03 Oct 01 - 11:34 PM

Hi folks, I'm a long-time (mostly) lurker but this inspired me to contribute. This is the worst song that I know. It's on a record called "Colonial and Revolutionary War Sea Songs and Chanteys." I don't know the exact title (help anyone?) but it's (clearly) in praise of John Paul Jones. I apologize because I don't know how to create line breaks ... could someone help? My favorite bad lines are "and they were all from En-gel-land"; and "He sails serenely like a swan, he pops his cannonballs like corn." Best wishes to all, Sarah

Here comes Captain John Paul Jones Sing his praise in heroes' tones He is a bold American His ship went down not far from land

Chorus: Had we him here Had they him there He would command us o'er the sea Good fortune then would with us be

He does many a daring deed For his friends when they're in need He landed pris'ners on our strand And they were all from En-gel-land

(Chorus)

He took their ship before our eyes And he has made a very fine prize To Brest in France he next did tack Now let them only see his back

(Chorus)

He sails serenely like a swan He pops his cannonballs like corn He hangs his broadsword by his side And sails upon the foaming tide

(Chorus)

Hurrah for Captain John Paul Jones Sing his praise in heroes' tones He has done his business well His mighty acts no tongue can tell

Had we him here Had they him there He would command us o'er the sea Now Paul Jones will soon with us be!

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 04 Oct 01 - 01:07 AM

Oh Sarah, that is one hilarious song! Those of you who say folk songs can't be as bad as pop songs please take note. Every line of that song is a corker!

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Sarah T
Date: 04 Oct 01 - 07:57 AM

Hi LEJ, Thanks for noticing! :-) Actually I never thought of this as a "folk" song, in that I assumed that it was composed by a single author. The reason for this assumption is that I think the folk process tends to smooth out or improve rough lines. But in the case of this song I have no proof. Best wishes, Sarah

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Ivan
Date: 04 Oct 01 - 02:27 PM

Re 'Seasons in the Sun' Allie. We had a guest at Fleetwood Folk Club who had his own translation which was significantly different to the pop version. If only I had a memory I could tell you his name. Unfortunately this thread HAS made me remember the most cringeworthy non-rhyme I've ever heard. It was in a pop song in the 1970s and goes: 'Gonna write a classic, Gonna write it in an attic' I hoped I'd forgotten that one forever.

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 01 - 02:56 PM

Oh, how pitiful! By the way, LEJ, I think that the John Paul Jones song probably WAS a pop song in its own day! But it's a folk song now...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: GUEST,Extra Stout
Date: 05 Oct 01 - 02:28 AM

Little Hawk,I've always thought McCartney wrote "... world in which we're livin'...". There are awful songs enough without dragging this one in. How about "My Ding-a-Ling" or "Rub It In"?

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Ralphie
Date: 06 Mar 03 - 03:33 AM

Sorry to revive this Old Thread...But how about this Stanza from "Folk songs of the Upper Thames".

Mary Thompson

Twice more all with his horrid knife
He ran her body through
Her throat was cut from ear to ear
Most dreadful for to view
But, Still she smiling said to him
Whilst trembling with fear
Oh, David David, Spare me life
Think of your baby dear..!?

Ah, those plucky English Maidens !!

Cheers Ralphie

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: alanabit
Date: 06 Mar 03 - 04:41 AM

The city's clamour could never spoil
The dreams of a boys and goil... ("Manhattan")
I expect Lorenz Hart was spoofing one of the New York dialects when he wrote this - but it must be hard work for the singer.

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: Ralphie
Date: 06 Mar 03 - 05:02 AM

Request
Maybe a clone could turn this back into a Music thread??
Mind You, Looking at some of the lyrics posted...Maybe not !!
Regards Ralphie

Subject: RE: BS: MORE WORST LINES
From: denise:^)
Date: 06 Mar 03 - 05:15 PM

"Someone's knocking at the door,
Someone's ringing the bell.
"Someone's knocking at the door,
Someone's ringing the bell.
Someone open the door,
And let 'em in..."

And this guy used to be a BEATLE?
(they were before my time, but I've heard a bit about them... ! ;^)

Denise:^)

Subject: RE: MORE WORST LINES
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 09:21 PM

How about this memorable George harrison line...

I look at you all
See the Love that lies sleeping
While my guitar gently weeps
I look at the floor
And I see it needs sweeping(!?)
While my guitar gently weeps

God Bless George, but that is one really weak line.

Subject: RE: MORE WORST LINES
From: M'Grath of Altcar
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 02:40 AM

Membership of the Beatles does not preclude writing bad lyrics.

You were in a car crash,
And you lost your hair

"Don't pass me by" by Ringo

Subject: RE: MORE WORST LINES
From: Leadfingers
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 12:47 PM

The line that always got to me was in 'THe Alamo' - YOUNG Davy Crockett was Laughing and Dying - I MEAN _ Come on Guys !!

Subject: RE: MORE WORST LINES
From: Juan P-B
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 12:59 PM

How about...
Papa ooh mau mau
Papa ooh mau mau
Papa ooh papa papa papa ooh mau mau

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, the Martian Hop

Or...

"I went across to Switzerland where all the yodellers be,
To try to learn to yodel with my "Yo-del-o-de-lee"

By that wonderful Aussie, Frankie Field

Subject: RE: MORE WORST LINES
From: alanabit
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 01:12 PM

For some reason that song "Let 'em In" has come in for a lot of stick over the years. If you listen to it carefully, it is actually one of Macca's (few) songs about the bigger picture. It is about being able to welcome all sorts of people into your life who may be able to bring something new into it. He quite deliberately mixes the names of the great and good with those of his family - Martin Luther King, Auntie Gin and brother Michael. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I find it one of his most moving songs.

Subject: RE: MORE WORST LINES
From: Joe_F
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 05:48 PM

It was his career or mine.
-- Richard Shindell, "Ballad of Mary Magdalen"

Though I walks with fifty 'ousemaids outer Chelsea to the Strand
-- Rudyard Kipling, "Mandalay"

Subject: RE: MORE WORST LINES
From: Bert
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 11:03 PM

We're going to the chapel and we're gonna get ma-a-a-reed.