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BS: Cyberspace Friendships

SingsIrish Songs 21 Mar 00 - 11:51 AM
Allan C. 21 Mar 00 - 11:36 AM
wysiwyg 21 Mar 00 - 11:28 AM
Little Neophyte 21 Mar 00 - 11:13 AM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 10:50 AM
catspaw49 21 Mar 00 - 10:50 AM
dwditty 21 Mar 00 - 10:34 AM
Jeri 21 Mar 00 - 10:25 AM
Lady McMoo 21 Mar 00 - 10:21 AM
GUEST,Neil Lowe 21 Mar 00 - 10:10 AM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 10:01 AM
wysiwyg 21 Mar 00 - 10:00 AM
katlaughing 21 Mar 00 - 09:48 AM
wysiwyg 21 Mar 00 - 09:27 AM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 09:25 AM
wysiwyg 21 Mar 00 - 09:07 AM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 08:56 AM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 08:51 AM
wysiwyg 21 Mar 00 - 08:38 AM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 08:27 AM
wysiwyg 21 Mar 00 - 08:19 AM
Little Neophyte 21 Mar 00 - 08:17 AM
Little Neophyte 21 Mar 00 - 08:15 AM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 12:59 AM
Jon Freeman 21 Mar 00 - 12:38 AM
Escamillo 21 Mar 00 - 12:34 AM
katlaughing 21 Mar 00 - 12:31 AM
Jon Freeman 21 Mar 00 - 12:27 AM
GutBucketeer 21 Mar 00 - 12:26 AM
katlaughing 21 Mar 00 - 12:21 AM
wysiwyg 21 Mar 00 - 12:08 AM
simon-pierre 21 Mar 00 - 12:01 AM
harpgirl 20 Mar 00 - 11:42 PM
Jon Freeman 20 Mar 00 - 11:33 PM
rangeroger 20 Mar 00 - 11:26 PM
catspaw49 20 Mar 00 - 11:02 PM
SingsIrish Songs 20 Mar 00 - 10:36 PM
Amos 20 Mar 00 - 08:40 PM
Joe Offer 20 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM
Callie 20 Mar 00 - 08:04 PM
catspaw49 20 Mar 00 - 07:38 PM
The Shambles 20 Mar 00 - 07:37 PM
Mbo 20 Mar 00 - 07:29 PM
Joe Offer 20 Mar 00 - 07:16 PM
Áine 20 Mar 00 - 07:05 PM
GUEST,Neil Lowe 20 Mar 00 - 06:53 PM
katlaughing 20 Mar 00 - 06:40 PM
catspaw49 20 Mar 00 - 06:24 PM
MMario 20 Mar 00 - 05:04 PM
Peter T. 20 Mar 00 - 04:39 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: SingsIrish Songs
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:51 AM

DW--my deepest condolences I offer to you and your family...

---------------

The Healing threads that have been seen at Mudcat really changed my already good views of Mudcat and made them even stronger...I think it started when Spaw took ill--I was still "new" here and the emotions and pulling together that came through in those threads really touched me. And in other threads, not just Healing threads, there are some thoughts shared that have caused me to get a bit "misty eyed"...

The thread name tags are surely helpful, and maybe more will be added for not all "non-music" stuff is accurately labeled BS...

When people here share their inner most thoughts on sensitive and serious issues (and not so serious, too) what they are made of shines through...and that is true even if you "hold back" some strong views. Christian, non-Christian, etc, have all pulled together in times of great need. That is important...With so much violence and war due to differing views, it is nice when people from all over the world can get together and focus more on the commonalities and show our individuality in our views without it being a problem...(at least that's my feeling here at Mudcat.)

I enjoy the community here! I also know I can call you fellow 'catters friends!

Mary


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Allan C.
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:36 AM

This thread is continued in part II here.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:28 AM

DWDitty,

I would love to hear more about Jeremy, here or in the personals. How did he do what he did-- in reeling in people?

~Susan


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:13 AM

Amos, I would rather look at this cyberspace form of communication as a tool rather than a crutch or excuse to do what we basically do naturally.
We now have an opportunity to get passed 'how's the weather' type conversations Jeri has mentioned and communicate the essense of who we really are.
Isn't that wonderful!

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:50 AM

DWDitty:

I am suddenly and seriously saddened at the loss of your nephew even though neither he nor you and I have met. I can only offer my condolences. And I do.

You both make and speak your point well.

Maybe the connectedness from which I feel a small portion of your loss about Jeremy (which is tragic beyond words), and many others here will also, is our natural condition, and the "civilized" insulated sense of sharp boundaries separating us from really knowing each other is an arbitrary misconception. If connectedness is our more natural state and we simply get trained out of it through various tricks and misbehaviors (language, cultural practices, pain, and communication hassles come to mind) then the path we are all on when we practice connecting is one of getting back in touch with ourselves through the practice of getting in touch with others.

This speaks to Karl Pribram's notion of the universe itself as a sort of hologram, even if that seems a bit farfetched from these beginnings.

Anyway, from this perspective, the computer networks we use are like a crutch or an excuse for simply learning to do what we basically do naturally.

My sympathy again, about Jeremy. It is a hard time to go through when something like that happens. Speak out if I can be of any help.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:50 AM

Very well put dw.....I'm sorry for the loss to your family and his friends, but you have summed up the feelings of many on this thread quite beautifully.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: dwditty
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:34 AM

Dear Mudcatters,
I have not been around in quite a while, and, in fact, have not even had time to read this whole thread. I do feel the need to post here, though. Last Thursday, my sister's 25 year old son died tragically in a canoe accident in New Jersey. Jeremy was an unbelieveable spirit gifted with the ability to connect with everyone he met. His great love was fishing, and he reeled in people with the same degree of love and respect. So many referred to him as their best friend - what a wonderful testimony! Anyway, someone posted the news on the bulletin board of a stock he had invested his modest tip money in. Hundreds of people responded with thoughts and prayers for Jeremy, his family, and his many, many friends. It meant so much to our family to receive this cyber-love. (I am sure Catspaw will attest to the meaning of this friendship.) Since that time, through email, I have shared my feelings deeply with the person who started that post. She is without a doubt a wonderful and meaningful part of my life - a true friend. Maybe we'll meet someday, maybe we won't. The friendship will continue though.

From my Mudcat experience, I am no longer surprised at the relationships that can develop over the internet. I, too, think that, being unencumbered by a physical presence, we are all much more free with our feelings than we are in our day to day lives. So it is with great love that I consider so many of you my friends.

DWDitty


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Jeri
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:25 AM

Amos, do you mind if I appropriate your comment and change it a bit for the next "what is folk" argument?

I never mind people talking about what they believe, it only bothers me if people persist in expecting me to believe the same things as they do - about anything.

Little Neo - one of the things about written communication is people seem to get past the small talk and into their beliefs, opinion, and feelings a lot faster. We may actually know more about those aspects of people from an internet forum than from 3D. Uh...I think I'm just paraphrasing what you already said...


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:21 AM

Your points are very well taken Praise... one or two here could learn from your generosity of spirit.

Peace,

mcmoo


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: GUEST,Neil Lowe
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:10 AM

Salons...I heard a little snippet of info that salons were making a comeback - parlors where *intelligent* or *thoughtful* (however one chooses to define *intelligent* or *thoughtful*) conversation is the rule rather than the exception. 3-D/Real Time/Meatspace versions of what we do here...a phenomenon, I understand, once popular many moons ago that now reemerges to fill a...need?

Metchosin made the observation that forums like these have revived interest in the fine art of letter writing. Are we now on the threshold of a resurgence in the fine art of conversation? What a radical idea. People might actually turn off their TV's and start talking to each other again. Is it "the end of the world as we know it?" Is The Mudcat Salon not far behind?

Just pondering,

Neil


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:01 AM

Better to walk the walk of the universe than to argue about what to call it.:>)


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:00 AM

Oh yeah, SNAG, duh!! Thanks.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 09:48 AM

Sensitive New Age Guy/Gal and I am glad you wrote about this, Praise and Amos.

It has been difficult to curb some of what I have wanted to post, at times, due to anti-whatevers which fly around here at times. I guess enough Catters now know me for who and what I am (mongrel mix of Buddhism, Rosicrucianism, Native American metaphysics) that we can do it in the personals or by email, but it gets frustrating, esp. when someone needs help from any of us willing to give and I don't dare start a thread for them, Christian or no.

Thanks, Praise.

luvyakat


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 09:27 AM

SNAG?


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 09:25 AM

Well vented, Praise. I hear you. Appreciate the forebearance you have shown. I have a similar problem as a pagan SNAG

It's hard to come into a highly relativistic context with a core of strong certainties that aren't part of the environment. I think you're right about the walking instead of talking part. It's the only thing that makes sense in a forum such as this one, IMHO.

I told my daughter Barky that Áine had called me a SNAG, and Barky reckoned I wasn't sensitive enough to be a SNAG, that I was just a NAG. Hmmmmmmphhhh.

:>) A


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 09:07 AM

Addressed to Little Neo (threadstarter) and anyone whose heart would reply...

People have been saying what's good/bad, easy/hard, etc. about cyberpalling, particularly 'Catpalling. I would have myself a turn on that. I am not optimistic about being able to have a turn without starting a whole bunch of crap. So why start. Why? Because... it's boiling over... no wait it's just warm water on dry ice, a fog machine needing a vent.

[Relationship] for me is governed by my faith.

You know what is really hard for me here as a cyberChristian, here at Mudcat? Loving each of you I have come to love so strongly, so Christianly in my better moments, so... deeply--

And knowing what Source my ability to love like that comes from, while--

Also knowing that to get into that part of it will be SUCH a problem for SO MANY (many of whom I love and would love)--

That it is better to just DO the loving and not SAY the rest--

And why that's HARD is that part of what makes Christian love CHRISTIAN love is staying clear about it not being about ME ME ME.

And all I am free to offer here, IS me.

And that is hard. [hard] = [difficult]

And sometimes it FEELS REAL hard. [hard] = [sorrow, hurt] (Through everyone's filters about what ME may be.)

And I hold that as my own struggle to resolve [with God's help] [see even a little thing to say has Him all OVER it].

And often say nothing because the love I have, in that specific moment of reading what someone has said, I haven't learned how to [purely] give yet.

That moment of loving-not-saying is a prayer.

And put it in the personal pages? Even to maintain the level of pale messages people are able to accept, that I put in the threads now, I would have to be there ALL DAY. I do have some lovely close and more openly Christian friendships starting in the personals and I LOVE these. But sometimes I just want to start a thread headed "Jesus Loves You-- March 22, 2000" because there are getting to be enough of you I correspond with that it almost IS a thread, only each conversation is a separate thread instead of a group speak like other threads.

What's hard for me about being a Christian here isn't all the non-Christian or anti-Christian stuff I read here. It's just BEING a Christian, here. Sometimes I think I'm practicing here for a 3D ministry. But actually it's more that the 3D ministry is already there, and where I may be needed is right here. So I stay.

BUT-- PLEASE just hear me on this, I DO NOT want advice... it's just my add-on to the discussion, for today....

~Vented


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:56 AM

Absolutely.

It stuns the sense of agreement and suppositions about how things are, which is a primary ingredient of any bond. So it makes it harder to hold affection. Friendship depends on some set of strong agreements, if not in all things at least in important ones.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:51 AM

Umm...I don't know if I've ever been shocked in the 3D world.

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:38 AM

OK, OK, OK....

Mbo... a gentle smile and a question... does being shocked in the 3D world make it hard to let friendship happen?


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:27 AM

Praise, Praise, Praise...

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:19 AM

"We're coming to you live from the small closet on the desk of one Amos Jessup, where..."

Silly-box? Syllabus?

Looks like box but is closet?

Images tumbling like a mixed load of laundry at the Washerama.

Affectionately.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:17 AM

My last posting was for everybody


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:15 AM

Amos, you know how when you are thinking about someone, a person you feel close to in your personal (3D) life, and you have all kinds of wonderful thoughts about them. You imagine how it will be the next time you get together. How you will express your feelings, show some affection, laugh and share some quality time. But then, you get together and once again the walls of fluff get in the way.
It drives me nuts, but it happens all the time.
On the Mudcat I don't have to deal with the layers of goo around me. I can feel free and playful like a baby running around naked.
But I do still believe when in the presents of those we love, it is important to work on removing the the walls of fluff and goo that come between us and someone else you truly love.
When Mudcatter friends get together I think they will have to deal with this kind of thing too.

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:59 AM

The biggest warp in it is the use of signalization for posting -- the translater isn't hip to newsgroup "posts" or BBS style use of the word. So it is using a word which means something closer to a signpost. It wouuld be closer to use "une poste" meaning something more like a mail service message but I don't know if that is accurate French or not...

I think this thread is compelling, because I think it proves something about us as humans -- that we have a layer of existence that is just a godamn bit more than and in wondrous ways senior to the purely mechanistic, Crickian-Skinnerian stimulus response biomechanism of meatspace. Namely, we can communicate. Do you know there are actually schools of [hilosophy who assert that cmmunication is a logical impossibility? That kind of tortured logic makes me mad enough to spit sometimes.

Anyway, I think it is in that bandwidth where the addicition of friendship and good communication occurs.

I was juts noticing, finsihing the days duties, with what energy and interest I run down to the Mudcat Cafe, just as one would do in earlier years to a sidewalk bistro in Paris , to pick up some real and meaningful conversation.

Here, even the humor is part of a meaningful context which is richer and often more meaningful to me than most anything immediately around me, except for my closest family and friends. But those are rare, rare treasures in 3D living, and here I open up this silly box on my desk and there's a whole closet full of them! What a treat.



Affectionately,

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:38 AM

kat, I must just say that it is a little unfair of me to translate it back again. It would need a French speaker to say how accurate the original translation was.

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Escamillo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:34 AM

What can I say about cyber-friends, when I've just received and incredible flood of the warmest support and encouraging words I ever heard ! I take this matter seriously too. Please Simon-Pierre, make a little effort and write more often, we enjoy your messages which (in my opinion) are perfectly written.
Un abrazo - Andrés (French descendant too, from Finisterre)


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:31 AM

Oh, shite! Thanks for double-checking it, Jon. That ought to give him a real chuckle or have him scratching his head in puzzlement!*BG*


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:27 AM

Thought Id try to translate back again using the function:

Simon-Pierre, to the bottom of each one which announces it indicates that " translate ". You can employ that to copy and to stick indication in function here and to translate it into French, who though it can not come exact, will give at least an idea of what somebody called without your duty to use the dictionary too much.

Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: GutBucketeer
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:26 AM

Yes: Simon-Pierre--- Please come sing with us on the Hearme channel. Every Sunday at 7:30 pm EST, also people seem to be singing after the Mudcat Radio show every Weds.

I have a CD by Nightingale that has some Quebec folk songs on it. Its one of my favorite.

I don't know why I am so fascinated by this thread. Maybe it's trying to understand my addiction to the Mudcat, and the sense of knowing everyone. As I said before, I don't hang out in the BS threads much so it may be that I feel that I know some of you, and you may not feel that you know me. What a strange thought.

Anyway. Joe... Fantastic... Spring is always in the air when you have just kissed on your 3rd date! I'm remembering the memories...

Callie: Now I won't be able to sleep thinking of the tidbit you dropped and the mystery of it. Sounds like mudcat has our own version of "You've Got Mail".

See everyone, some time, some place, some how.

JAB


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:21 AM

Simon-Pierre, at the bottom of each posting it says "Translate". You can use that to translate any posting into French, which even though it may not come exact, will at least give an idea of what someone is saying without your having to use the dictionary too much.

Here is an example. Please keep in mind, I do not know French, so I have no idea if this is correct or not.

Simon-Pierre, au bas de chacun qui le signale indique que " traduisez ". Vous pouvez employer cela pour copier et coller la signalisation en fonction ici et la traduire en Français, qui quoiqu'elle puisse ne pas venir exact, donnera au moins une idée de ce que quelqu'un dit sans votre devoir utiliser le dictionnaire trop.

Bon nuit,

katlaughing


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:08 AM

s-p--- can you come to HearMe when it is on?

Also-- you inspired me to practice writing to Escamillo en Espanol muy malo. PLEASE keep posting-- your messages have brightened many a day here.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: simon-pierre
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:01 AM

Nice thread, indeed... It made me wonder what I was doing every night, looking for what's up in the Mudcat. I may be the most taciturn of the 'catters because-you-know- my-english-second-language... It's hard to develop a «friendship» when you're always in your dictionnary (needless to say that I didn't read entirely this thread, it would have take me weeks). But I found here something that is strictely impossible in Québec city: people gathered together on the solely base of their love of folk music. Of course, for many of you here, you develop a deeper relationship... but since I can't write too much, I don't have the only thing contact required by the situation - writing. So I'm stuck with the idea that I have to meet you to really enjoy people here. It's nice to chat with people, but I'd prefer to sing with them!

Yours

SP


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: harpgirl
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:42 PM

...my goal is to have friends who don't know me well enough to get mad at me...harpgirl


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:33 PM

I was interested in reading the comments regarding "friends of the road". That is pretty much how I view it but that is also pretty much how I view the 3D world and it is not really in my nature to make close friends.

Having said that, although it may sound daft, on very rare occasions I have been known to say to somebody, "for what it's worth, you have a friend for life here" and this has happened both in the cyber world and the real world and I do not draw any distincton between the 2 worlds.

I don't even understand it myself. I enjoy company but I tend to move on and friends of the past tend to belong to that past and I forget them (not to say I wouldn't be friendly if I met them and would likely to be pleased to see them) but that would that would be the same with "friends of the road" and "friends for life" and yet I feel closer to "friends for life" and would share more with them...

(A very confused) Jon


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: rangeroger
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:26 PM

So, when are you all coming to my place? I'll need alittle time to prepare.The garage is bigger than the house so that is where the party will be.
I'll put all the furiture outside to open up floor space for sleeping(in shifts).And bring on that potato salad!
rr


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:02 PM

Shambles........Sorry we posted at the same time and I missed your post. To answer, I think you believe that expressions of friendship or affection (for lack of a better word) are inappropriate in the forum and are better done by e-mail or private message. The bantering that many of us enjoy alienates some people and since they are uncomfortable and may feel excluded, they are not likely to come back or at the least, are afraid to post. These people are a silent majority. If this is one of your points, then I am saying that I disagree that the forum postings are inappropriate.

Friends often express these feelings in 3-D conversation and inter-relationships and to do so here is only natural. If some are put off by that here, then I expect that's true in 3-D. As I said previously, I don't jump in on some serious music thread with some outlandish thing or another, but in some of the BS...sure. We have had a lot of new members who have come in and enjoyed the banter. Some don't...I know that. There are an awful lot of threads where they feel more comfortable.

I have been reading the Uganda thread and as I have often said, your songs and poetry are simply superb and the power of your lyric in this case (and written in '96) was overwhelming. Equally, I'm sure that the very subject is troublesome or bothers some folks and they may feel that the thread and your work is not appropriate here. Or a gun thread. Or an Ireland thread. I know some would propose that we omit all of this.

A large part of what this place has come to mean for many includes the ability to discuss these and other topics with people who are well above the norm we meet in 3-D. All of us have multifaceted personalities and what upsets me may not upset you and vice versa. In relation to cyber or 3-D friendships, be they "life" or "road," I want to see all the best and all the worst, and I want to see the truth of both.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: SingsIrish Songs
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 10:36 PM

Joe--Fireworks and the Golden Gate Bridge....WOW! That is certainly a romantic setting! Personally, I love the lookout point on the Marin side (the old battery[?] area)...at first I thought you might have been talking in metaphors when mentioning fireworks!

-----------

Even though I may not contribute a lot at Mudcat or get into many of the discussions, I do enjoy reading what everyone has to say...'course there are things I skip over...like in everyday group conversations, some stuff applies to you, some doesn't (selective listening/reading)....I like that about Mudcat--from the specific music threads to the BS to the periodic flirts and teases mixed in (yes, I am guilty)...I think all of that makes Mudcat what it is. The "personal conversations" that are seen sometimes at Mudcat often bring a smile to my face...even though it doesn't concern me, I know the comradery evoked in such portions of threads helps give Mudcat a homey feel. (IMHO)To be "sterile" with the thread contents would ruin Mudcat...You simply skip over what doesn't interest ya--it's as easy as that!

I admit there are names I look for in the thread responses...and it is nice seeing new names appearing all the time.

In my personal experience, Mudcat has helped me relax when it comes to cyberspace connections. I feel comfortable asking the friends here for assistance.

Yes, there have been other threads in the past that are related to this one...and it is good that the topic comes up over and over again! Hopefully it helps the newcomers feel more welcome and helps them know what Mudcat Cafe is all about!!! Little Neo you might want to dig up the past thread "Falling in Love with Mudcatters" from a few months ago...(if I remember the name correctly)...it is truly related.

Cheers everyone!

Mary


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:40 PM

And Spaw, there's no way I am a closet hat blocker. You're getting too many tranqs, man. And I don't live in Modesto, either, in case you're gonna come looking for me to join your closet-hat football team. And anyway, closets don't wear hats any more. Redo, redo....but you are absolutely right about the plain evidence for cyberfriendship, quality and veracity of, right in this series here as well as so many others... -- what kind of friends do you speak to so thoughfully in 3D time? Only the safest and best, if you're like most people I know.



Joe, congratulations!!! You lil ol wizard, you!

So when is the fourth date? (You don't have to answer that, Joe...I know you're a shy guy :>) )

I really like you guys a lot...y'know what I mean?....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Joe Offer
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM

Yeah, Spaw, I guess that's right, about me and handshakes. I had a nice blind date with a woman a month ago, and we closed the evening with a nice handshake. The second and third dates ended with a hug. On the fourth date, we walked across the Golden Gate bridge, and we stopped to watch the sparkle of the moonlight on the water. All of a sudden, fireworks started going off on the other side of San Francisco Bay. She decided that was the perfect time for our first kiss. Wow!
Maybe there's a value in saving unrestricted displays of affection for perfect persons at perfect moments.
But I do put a lot of affection into my handshakes...
-Joe Offer-
(no, I didn't meet her online)


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Callie
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:04 PM

This is a wonderful thread and for me it couldn't have come at a better time ...

On the weekend I came face to face with a Mudcatter with whom I've had great cyber-discussions on many subjects. This person uses a real name on Mudcat whereas I use a different name. While we DO know one another in meatspace, he does not associate the physical me with 'Callie'. When I said a cheery 'hello!' this person looked straight through me and kept walking. We were at a music festival, so it is difficult to imagine that in that context, I was not recognised.

Now the NEXT time I cyber-converse with this person, I'll have this in my mind. (Not that I was upset - it was just a VERY strange experience!!!!)

I do envy those of you who are more closely geographically connected and can meet up in person. I think Mudcat is a wonderful thing, but a physical presence would take the friendship to another plane.

--Callie


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:38 PM

Well thanks Joe, sincerely........Because I do know you would normally prefer the hearty handshake.

And Neo.....You would/will of course get a big hug, but you need an extra for starting this thread. There have been so many well stated posts and I believe that alone speaks volumes about cyber friendships.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: The Shambles
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:37 PM

Catspaw

I would be grateful if you could explain a little, just what it is that I have said that you are disagreeing with?


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:29 PM

Praise--hot babes? YE-YES!!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Joe Offer
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:16 PM

Actually, Spaw, I'd kinda appreciate that hug. We've had our disagreements, but it's downright impossible not to like you.
-Joe, who ordinarily prefers a hearty handshake-


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Áine
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:05 PM

Well, I've been following this thread and have found it very interesting. I didn't add anything because, to quote Neil, ". . . previous posters make every point I had intended on making, better than I could've made it myself.". The one thing I can add is that it was just great to meet Jed Marum at the North Texas Irish Festival, and I wouldn't have passed up his "meatspace/3-D/realtime" hug for anything. I don't know how he felt, but I felt like I was meeting an old friend. My point here being -- if you have a chance to meet a fellow 'Catter -- DON'T pass it up! Somehow, just meeting one of us brings all the others closer.

That's my $.02, for what it's worth.

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: GUEST,Neil Lowe
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 06:53 PM

It strengthens the feeling of like-mindedness when previous posters make every point I had intended on making, better than I could've made it myself. Saves lots of keystrokes, too.

Such exchanges have probably spawned research vis-a-vis social interaction on the Internet. Cyberspace relationships would be a good subject for a postgraduate or doctoral thesis, I would think. I can envision the next generation having to satisfy a general studies requirement at the undergraduate level by enrolling in "Soc 101: Principles of Socio-cultural Cyberspace," taught by the esteemed pioneer in the field, Dr. B. Neo.

Neil


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 06:40 PM

Amen to that, Spaw, all of it.

PeterT, darlin', just don't inhale and it won't be such a weird *trip*.**BG**


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 06:24 PM

Congrats Jeri.....excellent post that pretty well sums up my feelings too. I don't see anyone being excluded unless its of their own volition.

Shambles, I understand what you keep trying to say, but I just don't agree. The same thing happens in 3-D and everyone deals with it within the parameters of their own personality. Personally, I always worry when anyone speaks of a "silent majority" since the last time that phrase was popular here, we elected Nixon. I would not walk up to Joe Offer and give him a big hug....I respect Joe's feelings and know him well enough I believe to not wish to make him uncomfortable. And I didn't shake hands with Mick. Its not our relationship or our personalities. We each got a bear hug from the other. I think you read those personality traits right here.

Most of the threads after awhile, regardless of type, can be counted on to have the "usual suspects." Depending on the subject, you can generally figure out who is going to show up, and often, just from the thread title, you can guess who started it. Depending on that, I try to post appropriately to the thread and the participants. Early on here, I probably went over the line in a lot of cases, but that has not been true in a long time. Same situation in 3-D.

There are lots of things in this cyber-world that are strange to me, but I cannot address them through some other persona or through a means that's not within my personality. If you find me a jerk here, you would in real life too. And if you enjoy my company here, it would again be the same.

Amos is probably another story. I think he's a closet hat blocker.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 05:04 PM

This is the second cyber-community where I have met in 3-D some of the people I have communicated with on a forum. There are some people I feel I can "connect" with,(whether I ever meet them face to face or not) others whom I would like to meet, thought doubt we would hit it off. there are some I would love to follow around with a video camara for a few weeks, for various reasons.

There are people I know whom I met first in 3D but formed a friendship through e-mail and forums. There are others whom I met through electronic media and then face to face.

And there has been the occasional time where I have "known" someone for a while and then found out they were "so and so" ; again, in both directions....3D to cyber and cyber to 3D.


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Subject: RE: BS: Cyberspace Friendships
From: Peter T.
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 04:39 PM

Actually, to be totally honest, being a shy sort, I should say that meeting the Mudcatters I have met in person has always been shocking and disconcerting for a few seconds. Not bad shocking -- just disorienting. I am so used to their existence in cyberspace, that to see them in reality is quite weird for me. I think it is because I get so locked into the way people write. Also I am actually embarrassed about how well we know each other already. It is very weird: sort of like meeting your next door neighbour after you have inadvertantly seen her sunbathing in print or something. Meeting Michael or Davey or Jeri or Susan or whoever has always had the same effect on me. The first time I met Little Neo at one of Rick's concerts -- she didn't introduce herself for a few moments -- I had no idea what this person was talking about (she was making reference to a very recent Mudcat thread), and why she was talking to me. Even when I knew who she was! It took me 10 seconds to connect the two universes. Then it was alright.

On the other hand, one of the great things about the Mudcat is all the anticipation I have about all the great people I have never met, and will meet someday, God willing. But the first few seconds are really, really weird.

yours, Peter T.


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