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Song Challenge! Part 18

Áine 21 Mar 00 - 01:29 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 01:44 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 01:45 PM
Sorcha 21 Mar 00 - 01:55 PM
Lin in Kansas 21 Mar 00 - 02:12 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 03:50 PM
MMario 21 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM
Lin in Kansas 21 Mar 00 - 04:58 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 05:04 PM
Lin in Kansas 21 Mar 00 - 05:24 PM
Áine 21 Mar 00 - 05:26 PM
Lin in Kansas 21 Mar 00 - 06:08 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 07:03 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 08:05 PM
Barky 21 Mar 00 - 08:14 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 08:41 PM
MMario 21 Mar 00 - 09:05 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 10:03 PM
Áine 21 Mar 00 - 10:23 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 11:27 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 11:38 PM
Barky 22 Mar 00 - 12:44 AM
Mbo 22 Mar 00 - 12:49 AM
Hyperabid 22 Mar 00 - 12:00 PM
Hyperabid 22 Mar 00 - 12:01 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 12:07 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 12:08 PM
Mbo 22 Mar 00 - 12:23 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 12:33 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 12:37 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 12:40 PM
Mbo 22 Mar 00 - 12:43 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 12:50 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 01:03 PM
Mbo 22 Mar 00 - 01:07 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 01:31 PM
Áine 22 Mar 00 - 02:16 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 02:35 PM
MMario 22 Mar 00 - 02:55 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 03:01 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 05:15 PM
Bradypus 22 Mar 00 - 06:50 PM
Áine 22 Mar 00 - 07:05 PM
Bradypus 22 Mar 00 - 07:13 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 08:11 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 09:57 PM
ceitagh 22 Mar 00 - 10:54 PM
Eluned 22 Mar 00 - 10:57 PM
Áine 23 Mar 00 - 12:03 AM
GUEST,Homeless 23 Mar 00 - 12:13 AM
Eluned 23 Mar 00 - 12:54 AM
Hyperabid 23 Mar 00 - 03:55 AM
Homeless 23 Mar 00 - 09:45 AM
Áine 23 Mar 00 - 10:03 AM
Amos 23 Mar 00 - 11:26 AM
Lin in Kansas 23 Mar 00 - 11:59 AM
GUEST,allebone@banfftvfest.com 23 Mar 00 - 03:47 PM
Amos 23 Mar 00 - 03:52 PM
Lonesome EJ 23 Mar 00 - 04:07 PM
Áine 23 Mar 00 - 04:27 PM
Amos 23 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM
Lin in Kansas 23 Mar 00 - 06:48 PM
GUEST,Homeless 23 Mar 00 - 06:56 PM
McGrath of Harlow 23 Mar 00 - 09:34 PM
Amos 23 Mar 00 - 10:01 PM
Eluned 23 Mar 00 - 11:55 PM
Eluned 23 Mar 00 - 11:59 PM
Kelida 24 Mar 00 - 12:14 AM
Eluned 24 Mar 00 - 01:21 AM
Áine 24 Mar 00 - 01:29 AM
Eluned 24 Mar 00 - 02:30 AM
Lin in Kansas 24 Mar 00 - 11:52 AM
Amos 24 Mar 00 - 01:43 PM
Mbo 24 Mar 00 - 04:26 PM
Kelida 24 Mar 00 - 10:33 PM
McGrath of Harlow 24 Mar 00 - 11:00 PM
Mbo 24 Mar 00 - 11:00 PM
Kelida 25 Mar 00 - 12:12 AM
Lin in Kansas 25 Mar 00 - 12:19 AM
Amos 25 Mar 00 - 12:41 AM
Lonesome EJ 25 Mar 00 - 02:11 AM
GUEST 25 Mar 00 - 07:57 AM
GUEST,McGRath of Harlow 25 Mar 00 - 08:12 AM
Áine 25 Mar 00 - 09:34 AM
Bradypus 25 Mar 00 - 06:45 PM
Áine 25 Mar 00 - 07:48 PM
Áine 26 Mar 00 - 06:50 PM
Mbo 27 Mar 00 - 11:48 AM
Áine 27 Mar 00 - 12:06 PM
Áine 27 Mar 00 - 05:29 PM
Amos 27 Mar 00 - 05:34 PM
wysiwyg 27 Mar 00 - 08:38 PM
Amos 27 Mar 00 - 08:55 PM
Amos 27 Mar 00 - 09:33 PM
Lin in Kansas 27 Mar 00 - 10:48 PM
Lonesome EJ 28 Mar 00 - 10:04 PM
SharonA 17 Aug 01 - 12:13 PM
SharonA 17 Aug 01 - 03:47 PM
Áine 18 Aug 01 - 07:06 PM
Jack the Sailor 20 Aug 01 - 12:23 PM
Aidan Crossey 29 Aug 01 - 07:40 AM
MMario 23 Apr 04 - 10:01 AM
Amos 23 Apr 04 - 10:33 AM
GUEST,MMario 23 Apr 04 - 10:47 AM
Áine 23 Apr 04 - 11:25 PM
Amos 23 Apr 04 - 11:45 PM
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Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:29 PM

Now for the custard throwing seals -- or something just as good! This Challenge! idea comes from Amos (and we all know what a little devil he is...):

Beelzebub Bytes!

Forget about viruses and malicious hackers; the real threat these days is far more insidious. Your home computer may have the Devil in its data, say Reverend Jim Peasboro of Georgia. "... the Computer Age has ... opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls."

Rev. Jim says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers. "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," ... "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic Web sites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations." "Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally," he declared ... One woman ... confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.'"

The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself. To his horror, an artificial-intelligence program started spontaneously. "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he said. Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook.

"I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!" The minister estimates that one in ten computers in America now hosts some type of evil spirit. The Reverend advises anyone suspecting that their computer is possessed to consult a clergyman, or, if the computer is still under warranty, to take it in for servicing. "Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently," he says.

However, there is some good news -- Only a PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit, the minister explained.

There ya go! So, grab your mirrors, salt and wooden stakes and GO FOR IT, CHALLENGE!RS!!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:44 PM

LOL!!! I had forgotten that one. Evil spirits need high storage capacity? How do you reckon, Reverend? STORAGE capacity ?-- one kilobyte for good, two kilobytes for evil? Sheesh....the convolutions boggle the mind! Now, if it were memory capacity he was talking about I could understand how an Evil circuit would require a minimum number of swicthes in order to get complex enough to be evil....but storage? Naaaawww....

Some take delight in cruising for porno Others take delight in cruisng round the Horn-O I take delight in playing with my Whammo And irking all the devils who reside within my RAM-O.

Musharingumdurrumdaaaaaa....


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:45 PM

LOL!!! I had forgotten that one. Evil spirits need high storage capacity? How do you reckon, Reverend? STORAGE capacity ?-- one kilobyte for good, two kilobytes for evil? Sheesh....the convolutions boggle the mind! Now, if it were memory capacity he was talking about I could understand how an Evil circuit would require a minimum number of swicthes in order to get complex enough to be evil....but storage? Naaaawww....

Some take delight in cruising for porno
Others take delight in cruisng round the Horn-O
I take delight in playing with my Whammo
And irking all the devils who reside within my RAM-O.

Musharingumdurrumdaaaaaa....

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Sorcha
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:55 PM

This needs some thought............I'm boggled by this one!!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 02:12 PM

LMAOWROTF!!! (note foul, debasing language) It would be even funnier if was tongue-in-cheek, but I have the horrid feeling the guy was serious! I live in Kansas, belly-button of the rabidly religious right ("right rabidly religious?"), remember?

I can't resist this one...will send my entry as soon as I can get my guffaws under control! Thanks, Amos--great pick!

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 03:50 PM

Barky -- you go, girl! You should be able to do this one proud....

Everyone know the devil-in-the-computer problem only applies to WIntel machines. Demons hate Macs. There's too much saintliness in the ROM chips and it makes the place uninhabitable. I knew there was a good reason for choosing Macs!!! LMAO.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM

COMPUTER YOU"RE THE DIVIL

Computer you're the divil, you're leading me astray
On the 'net and forum, and into cyber-space
You're a faster, smarter, vid-center
You're three-dee stereo!
Computer you're me darlin' saved or damned-oh!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 04:58 PM

Okay, here goes--

There's no tune to this one, but "Trouble in River City" might work???

THE REVEREND JIM AND THE DATA DEVIL


Now listen Brothers and Sisters, listen hard to what I say—
Lucifer's secret ain't so secret any more!
He's got a real head o' steam up, and he's headin' out your way—
Comin' in by Windows and the door!

If you wanna save your souls from Hell you gotta pay attention—
The Prince of Darkness can be awful sneaky!
He has tempted you poor sinners in lots of ways I hate to mention—
And now he's made your hard drives leaky!

CHORUS:
With his hand upon his Bible and his thoughts up in the stars
Reverend Jim fights the good fight every day!
His heart's in the right place, and his head is up his arse
Down in southern Georgia, so they say!


There's a dark and horrid force a-risin', you gotta guard against it well—
Foul corruption and debasement they abound!
Mrs. Johnson's talkin' dirty, Mr. Roberts thinks it's swell—
To stare at nekkid pictures he has found!

Sister Maggie Mae, she tells me, "Rev, this is really horrid—
Suddenly my family's Demon Spawn!
My hubby's scouting porn sites, and droolin' on the keyboard—
And the dog's out screwing cats on the lawn!"

CHORUS:

This here's not a force to fool with, it's evil and it's vicious—
In your computer it will find a place!
It skulks in through the ether; it's vile and it's pernicious—
It takes over all your PC's storage space!

It's a Mesopotamian demon, so a language teacher told me—
Press the switch and listen to it curse!
It talks in tongues and gibberish in a dialect of old—gee—
We know the only ones can do that are in church!

CHORUS:

You got to wrestle, Brothers and Sisters, be fast and hard and mean—
Replace your PC's guts within the hour!
Rip out its filthy innards, and wipe your hard drive clean—
Check for 666 on the tower!

And once you've done all that, then just give me a call—
And I'll bring over salt and a cross!
Then we'll hit our knees a-prayin' and storm the gates of Heaven—
And show that evil spirit who's the boss!

CHORUS:


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 05:04 PM

Oh no....Aine, these Challenge!s just keep getting WORSE and WORSE!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 05:24 PM

Oh, Lord, Mbo!!! Try to develop a sense of humor, will ya?

Aine, you made my day!

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 05:26 PM

MMario -- That's a fantastic beginning! Please keep on going, OK?

JL -- I thought I was gonna die laughing!! The rest of 'em is gonna have to think hard, 'cuz I do believe we have a brand new Guinness Crest winner there! Ouch, my sides are killing me!!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 06:08 PM

Thanks Aine!

Kinda reminds ya of one of those Brush Arbor Tent Meetings that used to show up all over the Texas Panhandle when I was a kid, don't it? Rev. Jim woulda been right at home! (Hey, maybe he was...?)

And Amos, don't get too cocky about Macs not having demons--Lucifer loves a challenge! (Saintly ROM, indeed!)

Lin (whoisstillgigglingmadlyatthementalpictures!)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 07:03 PM

Alright, alright...

(Tune, Devil's Radio by George Harrison)

Curse him, curse him
Curse him, curse him

I heard a voice last night
Sayin' words that demons speak
Coming from the depths below
Of my Devil's Presario

All hours of the day
On ICQ and more
Evil words back and forth they go
On my Devil's Presario

Oh yeah, curse him
Curse him, oh yeah!

Um....ok so this isn't working well. I'm gonna stop and try something else later.

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:05 PM

Mbo: How about "The Devil Got In My Backup"? I'm fighting a bug fever just today so I may not get one in on time...


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Barky
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:14 PM

I think only angels like Macs, because Macs are too pretty for the demons, and angels like me deserve pretty things. (Like iBooks.... hint...... hint........)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM

B: So where's your song? A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:41 PM

Angels, hee hee! I must be earning my wings then, because I'm SLOWLY getting the hang of using Macs. The bell will ring eventually! CLARENCE I'M COMING!!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 09:05 PM

Computer you're the divil will be continued, but probably not for a while....trying to get ready for a road trip which will keep me away thursday eve until probably tuesday....and I KNOW if I try to do up the verses for the chorus I'll submerge and never get to North Carolina!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:03 PM

OK, here we go again...

(Tune, The Devil Danced In Empty Pocketsby Joe Diffie

Well I was staring at my monitor screen, just the other day
"Command and Conquer" is by far my most favorite game to play
But suddenly I heard a sound which made my blood run cold
The devil started speaking, and havoc started wreaking, on my poor PC's soul

CHORUS
Now the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time
He corrupts my files with his wiles, and won't let me go online
And as he raises cain on my daisy chain, all I can do is whine
Oh the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time!

Well I was down at the Mudcat Caff, checking out the DT
As I strolled along, I found a song tailor made for me!
And as it printed off, I gave a cough, for I knew it weren't the norm
Cause it printed a whole ream of phrases quite obscene in Sumerian cuneiform!

Now the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time
He corrupts my files with his wiles, and won't let me go online
And as he raises cain on my daisy chain, all I can do is whine
Oh the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time!

Now they say the Net is God sent, you bet--the most useful thing since the nail
But I can't see the Maker, just that rotten soul-taker, now I can't even check my mail!

Now the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time
He corrupts my files with his wiles, and won't let me go online
And as he raises cain on my daisy chain, all I can do is whine
Oh the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time!


--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:23 PM

That's one of your best there, Mbo! Way to go! Any chance we can get a 'blues' song out of you on this one??

MMario -- Remember the Official Mudcat Songbook Policy for Late Submissions -- Anything, Anytime! We'll all be expecting a masterpiece when you get back . . . hee hee hee . . .

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:27 PM

Mbo, you just get better and better! I love that -- you oughta record it for a week from Wednesday!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:38 PM

I'll sure try, Amos. I got a surprise for tomorrow night, though! ;{>

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Barky
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:44 AM

OK: Someone in the Barky/Amos family isn't looking forward to Wednesday, and it's not Amos. Who could it be?

~Barky


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:49 AM

But why not, dear girl?

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Hyperabid
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:00 PM

Ah the fire and brimstone scent of a bible being bashed…

Every word you type

To the tune of Every breath you tale

V

Every word you type
Every link you hype
Every site you see
They belong to me
I am watching you

V

Every single day
I wait to make you pay
Try to make you stray
If you're straight or gay
I'll be tempting you

C

Oh can't you see
These things were made for me
How your will may break
With every link you take

V

Every time you're mailed
Morality's assailed
'Cos you're dumb enough
To dial up this stuff
My will will prevail

Bridge

Now you're on I will send stuff in bad taste
Direct you to porn sites in a lustful haste
Won't be long before your soul's in my embrace
I am waiting for you through a tease

La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah

C

Oh can't you see
You now belong to me
Doomsday's bound to be
'Cos you've bought a PC

V

Every single day
You parish tilts my way
Except for one priest
You're all for the beast
He is watching you

He is watching you

(Rallantando) He is watching you

(Sound of demonic laughter)

Hyp


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Hyperabid
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:01 PM

Sorry tune should be Every breath you take by the police

Hyp


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:07 PM

Hyp, that's hilarious! This Challenge is really rich! I have about three I want to write for it but am having trouble finding time. Hope this one runs through the weekend... Goddess, hear my prayer, and I will sacrifice a set of old used silk-on-steels....


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:08 PM

Hyp--

LMAO!!! I can just hear someone like Tom Jones doing this song--Love it!

Aine, for some reason this challenge really hit my funnybone--could it be my PC is already infested? Can I submit another one, huh, huh, can I, huh, can I pleeeeze?

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:23 PM

GOOD ONE HYP!! Ha ha!

The Devil's got my Gateway
And he haunts my internet
The Devil's got my Gateway
And he haunts my internet
Folks say he's got more power here
Than in my TV set

I was on my e-mail
Just the other day
I was on my e-mail
Just the other day
But all I gots were messages
Sayin' things only Satan'd say

I went onto a website
To buy a new horn
I went onto a website
Just to buy me a new horn, Lord
But when the page it opened up
It weren't nuffin' but porn

I tried to ICQ my man
About our gig down at the pub
I tried to ICQ my man
About our gig down at the pub
But all the names on my active list they changed
To Satan, Old Nick and Beelzebub

Now my preacher man he told me
The Devil's in the Internet
Now my preacher man he told me
The Devil's in the Internet
Mephisto's behind it all
And he's trying my soul to get

Now all I see all day on screen
Is the flame and the sword
Now all I see all day on screen
Is the flame and the sword
So I took myself a sharpened stake
And drove it through that motherboard!!!
DA DA DA
DA DA DA
DA DA DA
DAT DAT DAT DAAAAAAA! UH!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:33 PM

Hee hee! Great stuff, Mbo.

Lin, you can, according to tradition, submit multiple entries on a single challenge.

See Section 3.2.4 of The Gaelic Goddess Process Manual for the Management of Insane Creativity in Virtual Communities which printed itself out mysteriously on a laser printer belonging to a convent of salubrious Mennonite nuns in Akron, Ohio at dawn on Saint Patrick's Day two years ago and has since been circulated in samizdat style amongst sensitive geeks everywhere.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:37 PM

Oh, what the heck, I think I will--It's such a tiny little bit of plagarism, I feel sure no one will notice. (Where'd that evil chuckle come from? BatCat, was that you?) This is my last one, honest, I promise...unless of course, it's too late for my PC's innards already...what the heck is that playing on Real Audio? Weird accent, sorta Mesopotamian...? Nah, can't be.... Agggghhhhh! Was that a naked possum that just flashed across my screen? Ackkkkkkkk!

Lin (who is getting more nervous by the second...)


WHEN THE DEVIL AND THE KID MET UP
(To the tune of—aw, you know already)

Well, the Devil went down to Georgia
He was workin' on a hacker's deal
He was on a roll stealin' PC's souls
Makin' virus scanners reel.
When he came across this young man surfin'
On the Web for interesting spots
And he slid in the wires and turned on the fires
And gave that kid the hots.

Ole Devil twisted and the kid's hand jerked
And without any hesitations
Next thing he knew he was witness to
Unspeakable abominations!
Buns and boobs and raunchy scenes
He'd never imagined before
Flashed across his screen while he turned pea-green
And his jaw dropped to the floor.

Devil whispered soft, "I can show you where
A million of these are.
You can spend your days in a horny haze
With porno movie stars!
All you have to do is buy a new drive
With a gig of storage or two
Load this small pro-gram that takes over your RAM
And let it talk to you."

But the kid was brave and he heard the lure
In old Satan's silky tone.
Though his brain was steamin' from mad wild dreamin'
And his groin was molten stone,
He yanked that plug from the surge protector
Picked up his PC and ran
Straight out of the house (draggin' the mouse)
And tossed it in the can.

The Devil bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid a golden CD
On the ground at the young man's feet.
He said, "You've won this round for sure,"
Then he grinned an evil grin.
"But watch out boy, there's more'n one ploy
To lead you into sin."

The kid picked up the gold CD
And he spun it in the sun.
He told Old Scratch to take a hike
And find some other fun.
Then he broke that CD across his knee
And handed the pieces back.
Said "Take your minions with you Devil,
I'm switchin' to a Mac!"


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:40 PM

Oh, JL! That is effin MASTERFUL!!!! You is a CHAMPEEN!! I love it to pieces!!!

I want you to make an mp3 of it and send it in to the Radio program for max to play! Can ya? Huh??!! Puleeeeze! GOD that is good. Tight and bright and just right. Way to go!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:43 PM

Only on prob JL...not to be picky or anything, but there's not prechorus and chorus like in the original. You want I should supply the missing piece?

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:50 PM

Mbo, that's terrific! Also love your earlier song--I fell in lust with Joe Diffie over If The Devil Danced In Empty Pockets--struck a chord, so to speak. I take back any negative comments I may ever have made concerning your sense of humor (you didn't notice? rats! another apology wasted! Oh well...)

Amos! Where can I get a copy of the GG's Manual for future reference? Wait--never mind--just found one on my printer--musta been sitting there since, oh, St. Pat's Day. Now, lessee, Section 3.2.4....

Lin

P.S. What in the world is samizdat style? (Duh....)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 01:03 PM

Geez, thanks, you guys--guess something just inspired me and "made me do it"--(were those footsteps? Sorta sounded like a cow, or a goat, or something--weird!)

Amos, I'd love to do an MP3, but I dunno how, being technologically challenged--could I talk you into doing it if I ask really nice?

Mbo, if you insist on completely (as opposed to just mostly) stealing the song, please feel free to add the missing bits--

WOW! Aine, this is being SO MUCH FUN!!!!

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 01:07 PM

JL.."Stealing"? FEAR NOT! This is parody writing! It's highly encouraged, and better yet, we are free from copyright infringements too!

--Mbo (glad ye like Average Joe...he's so cool!)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 01:31 PM

Samizdat is a Russian word describing how, in the days of Soviet oppression, essays and newsletters offering independent thought, a very dangerous rhing, would be circulated by people from hand to hand, sometimes copying them in their basements on typewriters, or mimeoing them -- it has crept into circulation to mean underground distribution of politically risky stuff.

I would be proud to put your song on tape, JL. I'm not polished, but I can stomp 'em in my old gravel voice. I'll have to wait for weekend. I need to look up the tune. I'll put the mp3 on a website where you can go download it at your leisure.

If Mbo is going to flesh out the song, he can just post the revision here. Welcome to the Whacky Folky and Jokey Poet's Society.!!

Warm regards,

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 02:16 PM

My, my, my, my, my, my, MY!!! I'm off larning a new song and here y'all are just havin' too much dang fun!!

Amos -- Upon reflection on and reference to Section 13.6.6.6 of The Gaelic Goddess Process Manual for the Management of Insane Creativity in Virtual Communities, it seems that lengthening of any Challenge! is allowed upon the whinging, begging and offering of gifts to Herself by any Challenger! So, we'll just leave this open to the air until you have time to send in your entry. Besides, I'm having trouble coming up with something as good as the rest of y'all! Dang!

It's great to see y'all gettin' together and helping each other out -- The Spirit of the Mudcat lives and thrives!!

Write on, my Challenge!rs, Write On!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 02:35 PM

You're terrific TGG -- I'm grateful. You give good divinity! :>) (blush).


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: MMario
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 02:55 PM

Amos? you got fudge? *preparing to pout, and that AIN'T a pretty sight!*


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 03:01 PM

Dang, man -- here, have some! Wipe that pout off yer mug! I'd hate to be responsible for a huge low pressure area over your part of the country!!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 05:15 PM

Oooooo, fudge! Got any chocolate marshmallow?

Amos, that would be too cool if you're willing to record the song for me! (and I think you have a great voice, from what I've heard on Mudcat Radio). For the tune, would this help?

Click here

And many thanks for the explanation of samizdat--I'm always tickled to learn new publishing lore and/or history; books are my thing.

Mbo, if you opt to add to When the Devil Met the Kid, be careful--if your mouse starts to move on its own, don't look, just run! (I don't want to be responsible for any permanent traumas or loss of innocence!)

Aine--Section 13.6.6.6? How come that's not in my copy? (Hmmmm--there does seem to be a page gap there, though...?)

Lin (who is going to try to get some work done sometime today)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Bradypus
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 06:50 PM

So much good stuff here already. For my offering, never mind the quality, feel the length.

If you don't know Screwtape and Our Lord Below, I'm sure you'll pick up quickly enough. If you know Screwtape, I hope you'll agree this would be his sort of thing.

Don't have a tune, unfortunately - it came to me as a sort of rap - but if anyone has any suggestions ... Screwtape's New Strategy

Screwtape said to his demons one day

Now listen close to what I've got to say.

Our Lord Below isn't pleased, I fear

Our quota of souls has gone up for next year.

The old ways won't be fast enough

So new technology's the only stuff

Computers now is where it's at

An opportunity for us, so we can wax fat

Just get yourself in your victim's PC

And use that new technology

The computers may be new, but the sins are the same

And we'll soon get good at this computer game

Now Anger's an easy sin to induce

And to make this work here are my views

Just find an important file or two

And corrupt their contents – that will do

Your victim gets angry, and you can grin

That's the first computing deadly sin

If it's Sloth you want, then you've got the tools

Bill Gates provides to all these PC fools

There are games like Solitaire and Freecell too

Get them hooked on those, that's all you've got to do

They'll soon be playing 'just one more game'

While producing nothing – and we're to blame!

For Lust, get your victim on the Internet

It's the best for Lust that's been invented yet

No matter where he goes, in a couple of clicks

You can have him viewing unsuitable pics

Or spam his e-mail to send him links

And encourage his habit, whatever he thinks

For Envy and Pride the recipe's the same

There's plenty of scope in this computer game

For someone or other has a flatter screen

Or a faster cpu, that will turn them green

For Pride set up your victim well

With more ram, fast modem– then with pride he'll swell.

Gluttony is not an easy sin to try

In the PC world – but no need to cry

Though the chips need salt, there are mega bytes

Memory greedy apps will put our world to rights

And as long as we can still inspire greed

For Our Lord Below we'll get the souls we need

For Avarice I've got an excellent plan

To tempt even the most upright man

Just use lots of words beginning with 'e' –

e-commerce, e-startup – then we'll grin with glee

As he reads of others making profits obscene

His love of money means we've got him clean

So you see my plan for this PC age

The new methods of war we'll wage

The methods may be new, but the sins are the same

Seven ways we'll catch them in this PC game

And Our Lord Below with joy will smile

And maybe be pleased with us – for a while!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 07:05 PM

Bradypus -- I hereby decree you the Winner of The El Supremo Golden Cow Chip with Gotcha Sauce! Boy howdy -- angst, humour, relevancy AND rhythm . . . I do believe my oft-repeated 'Well done!' does even come close this time . . . you've skunked us again, ya deeveel!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Bradypus
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 07:13 PM

Gotcha Sauce - yum, yum!

Sorry I seem to have messed up the formatting this time - the verses have 6 lines each, if it helps.

Bradypus


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 08:11 PM

Brady, that is toooo good. Theology-in-Rap-Master th'art, and all lesser rapping theologists must from you take instruction! LOL!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 09:57 PM

Good grief, Bradypus! Funny and serious both, and you even remembered all of the seven deadly sins! Well done!!

(Mutter, mutter, mutter, envious, me? Heck no--bet s/he doesn't know the names of all seven dwarves!) **BG**

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: ceitagh
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 10:54 PM

Bradypus! that was awesome...relevant, funny, *and* semi-literary! C.S. Lewis would be proud....(or maybe not...i don't know what he thot of folk music) :-) And you managed to get all 7 in there too!

pax ceit


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Eluned
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 10:57 PM

LOL!! YOU GUYS (GENERIC TERM) ARE GREAT!!!!

Are they funnier if you use familiar songs? I'm not all that good at this, but I had a thought concerning the tune for "False Knight on the Road", and was wondering if using an obscure tune might make it less fun/funny/catchy....


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 12:03 AM

Eluned,

Ancient, just old, yesterday's or no tune at all -- We'll take it!! Let's see whatcha got -- Sounds like a great idea to me!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: GUEST,Homeless
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 12:13 AM

Bradypus that was superb. But now I'm gonna have to re-think my whole strategy - I was gonna use the sins and just hadn't yet gotten it typed up. (That darn envy)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Eluned
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 12:54 AM

I'll get back to you guys later with something .... if I could only find the _lyrics_ to "False Knight..." I could get the pattern down better. It's a very fast-paced, question-and-answer tune.

I have to keep telling myself "The woods would be silent indeed if only the best birds sang".....I'm really not as good as what I've seen so far. I just like music so much it kind of perks around in there and now and then comes out.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Hyperabid
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 03:55 AM

Oh I see... I go to bed and you've all written songs while I've been asleep (huff)! How's a guy supposed to keep up in a 24 hour world - I was just thinking about this the other day when my computer said to me:-

"You shall be the pawn of the dark one!"

At the time I was surfing www.mammon.co.hell looking at a unique range of high power home barbecues...

Anyway I digress... Well done to all lyrical twiddlers, fiddlers and muddlers!

Hyp :-)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Homeless
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 09:45 AM

I've never, in my life, ever had any desire to write songs or lyrics. Then I got on Mudcat and saw these challenges. That being said, here's my submission for this challenge...


On Friday night I was sitting tight, figuring my bills.
The software on my new PC was fixing up those ills.
When suddenly the numbers that I saw gave me a fright
All those triple sixes sure did make my face turn white.

Now I have heard a rumor that this box can be the host
of demon, devil, minion, wicked ilk or evil ghost.
I never thought that it was true, but now I'm not so sure.
The gibberish spewing on my screen seems anything but pure.

What would be the purpose of the devil in this box?
Is he thirsting for my soul, or just my txts and docs?
Has Satan spread his minions 'round the world via virus?
Has he sent them out to claim the soul of every one of us?

Chorus
Is Bill Gates the AntiChrist or is he just a man?
Does he hold the world in a big red claw? Does he have some evil plan?
If I buy a new PC, just what all do I get?
Is Satan well and living deep inside the internet?

Computers fill the common man with a new kind of greed.
"Honey, just this one upgrade? It's all I'll ever need!"
This new game is all the rage, it's filled with blood and gore.
But I don't have quite enough RAM, I need just 8 meg more.

Now you can trust he uses lust. Oh the pictures you can find
Of men and women, bottom, top, in front and behind.
Girls with men, and girls with girls, and girls with animals.
He's got ahold of all the souls of those poor horny fools.

We neglect our jobs and friends for those we know online.
It seems behind a keyboard is where I spend all my time.
Identities are up for grabs, take any that you pick.
Maybe those anonymous posts are coming from Old Nick.

(chorus)

Those that like their Linux, and others who use Macs
May think that they are safely hidden from evil attacks.
But Reverend Jim of Georgia (foremost authority)
will take your misconception and he'll cast it to the sea.

A big hard drive, post '85, is all that you will need
to host your very own demon or other evil breed.
Now big Jim tells us that a spirit lives in one in ten,
But can be exorcised by the clergy or technicians.

So if you think that some dark force visits you on line
It may be the devil with your soul upon his mind.
Now when you hear this story you may choose to laugh or scoff.
But know you this, the best escape, is turn the damned thing off!

(chorus)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 10:03 AM

Homeless -- I refuse to believe that you haven't been writing songs all your life -- you're just too dang good!! That was great! Does it have a tune? And don't forget to give your opus there a title. Well done, my friend!

Eluned -- Now come on, jump in here with the rest of us! It's no good sitting on the bank and whinging that you can't swim as well as the rest of us -- see me dunking Amos over here? And notice that Bradypus just pulled Mbo's britches down? See, we're all equal here. We all promise to applaud your 'swan dive', don't we gang?

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 11:26 AM

And, we've just discovered that the flametopped Gaelic Goddess is genuinely described! :>) Britches? I don't have yer britches, dear...may Mbo borrowed them -- his sem to be missing...

Homeless, i concur with TGG's assessment -- you have the makings of a Master Craftsman. Let there be songs, and let them begin with you -- you've got the Stuff.

"...demon, devil, minion, wicked ilk or evil ghost" is a particularly great line!

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 11:59 AM

Oh man! These things just keep getting better! Homeless, for God's sake (groan) PLEASE keep writing! **LOLOLOL**

(You know, ole Bill doesn't appear to have horns and a tail...but come to think of it, I've always wondered why somebody with that much money couldn't get a decent haircut and clothes that actually fit...)

And Eluned, run your creation up the beanpole and you'll see there ain't no ogres huntin' blood around here! (Us'ns just wanna have fun.)

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: GUEST,allebone@banfftvfest.com
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 03:47 PM

Trying to identify this song. Anybody know it? Here it is.

(Fast pace/strum....latin almost)

Am c g What do we care about ourselves, seeing but blind. Am c g Shadows, window pane, mirror design. Am c g Called you on the phone, but I talked with the air. Am c g Hotel in paradise, the hours we shared. Am c g Embracing, in a dark dusty room. Am c g Echo Cathedral, I know you're the fool Am c g My coat is a memory, my heads in a daze. Am c g Turquoise I desire you, mmmmm, yes I do.

(Slow it up for the next 2 lines)

C G D Am Caught in my doldrums, caught in the time. C G D____ Now I adore you, ououoo

(Fast pace/strum again)

Am c g Embracing, in a dark dusty room. Am c g Echo Cathedral, I know you're the fool Am c g My coat is a memory, my heads in a daze. Am c g Turquoise I desire you, mmmmm, yes I do.

Would love to hear from anyone. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 03:52 PM

Allebone:

Don't know it -- I would suggest you start a new thread with an appropriate title and try to supply details of where you heard it and who it might be by ...there are some very widely-read and widely-listened people who check in from time to time. I take it you are not the author of it? It is a pretty set of words indeed.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 04:07 PM

The Ballad of Bill and Lucifer

Bill was a goofy-looking nerd back in the Spring of 74
When a County Cop at a traffic-stop found an ounce down on the floor
He spent the night in the Cascade Jail, his mind in a state of shock
When he heard a step outside the door, and the key turn in the lock

A man walked in with a sinister grin, and a kind of sulphur smell
Said "Pardon sir, name's Lucifer, I'm on a business trip from Hell
And, tell the truth, I've had my eye on you since the moment of your birth
Put aside your fears, in ten or twenty years you'll be the richest man on earth!"

ChorusThe Devil came through the Windows
Now he's living in my house
Now his heart is in my hard-drive
And his mind is in my mouse

Now Bill was quite reluctant to sign away his soul
But the Devil smiled and said "No, Child, I have a much, much bigger goal"
And from his jacket pocket, he produced a smoking disk
Saying "What I need from you, Bill, is sell a million copies of this!"

And Bill did sell a million, and a million yet again
And everyone was eager to bankroll the Wage of Sin
And Bill became the Richest Man, though sworn not to tell
How true the words so many spoke : "This program's straight from Hell !"

Chorus


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 04:27 PM

Oh LEJ!! You slay me, you really do!! I haven't checked lately; but have you qualified for the 'Whole Bag O' Chips' club yet?? Another fantastic foray from you yet again!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM

ROTFLMA, LEJ -- the Master rides tonight!!! Come tot hink of it...how do you account for always writing such good songs? Doctor Faustus syndrome?


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 06:48 PM

TGG, what's the penalty for chucking Golden Cow Chips at fellow Song Challenger!s in a pit of fique?

Gads, you guys are awesome. LEJ, that's a tour d'force!

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: GUEST,Homeless
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 06:56 PM

Áine - Title it "The Devil's New House". Yes I do have a tune for it, but I don't know that it will ever make it outside of my head. Believe it or not, two challenges ago was the first song I'd ever written. This is my fourth. I never much cared for poetry (other than the odd novelty) but did have a whole slew of English classes in high school. I just approach the songwriting the way I would an essay for the teacher.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 09:34 PM

Some great stuff in here. I'll sit this one out.

But it's got me thinking - maybe this is what lay beneath some of our recent "unpleasantness" on the Mudcat. (I like that term - it's a bit similar to the way the Second World War was referred to in Ireland as "The Emwergency".) Not so much GUESTS as GHOSTS...

(Not to be confused with the recent affable familiar ghost, who apologised for being grouchy - see thread "Apology from GHOST")


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 10:01 PM

Courting Disaster

Tune: Courting In the Kitchen
(Click to Play)

 

 

Come you Windows users all, and to me pay attention
Don't touch the Wintel box for it's the devils own invention;
Oh, once I fell quite hard for its features so bewitching
And I paid for it with tears, and  years, of  rebooting and of glitching

To ma tooralooriay, and me tooralooraladdie
And me toorallorilay, and a toorilooriladdie!

By the age of seventeen, I was a super power user
With me own 586, sir, and I knew just how to cruise her
I could tap her til she screamed, and her CPU was smoking!
And she filled my heart with joy, til the night that she got broken!

To ma tooralooriay, and me tooralooraladdie
And me toorallorilay, and a toorilooriladdie!

It was early early day, I had left my T-1 hauling,
From a gateway in Seatle, Sir, an evil force came crawling
He hopped across the line, like a TCP/IP packet,
And through the UART came, having conned a way to hack it!

Well the bus within my box, was soon with pizen spitting
And where once I studied code and such, with porno I was smitten
This evil force came o'er me, my will I had no  longer
And though I fought and twisted, sir, The Divil proved the stronger!

To ma tooralooriay, and me tooralooraladdie
And me toorallorilay, and a toorilooriladdie!

Well he had me in his grip, Sir, and I felt such thrills within me
I never stopped to think that this new lust would turn agin me,
I ordered up new parts, new hard drives and a laser,
My credit cards ran down to nought as fast as any phaser!

To ma tooralooriay, and me tooralooraladdie
And me toorallorilay, and a toorilooriladdie!

I was in the devils hands, Sir, and fresh all out of lolly.
To the door in dreadful haste then came my lovely, anxious Molly!
She saw what 'twas about! She pulled that cord directly!
And all at once with her, I began to think correctly!

To ma tooralooriay, and me tooralooraladdie
And me toorallorilay, and a toorilooriladdie!

I quickly gained my senses, sir, and canceled all them orders
And went myself by foot down to the hardware house at Border's
I went to seek redemption, friend, and ne'er shall turn back!
I have thrown the Devil's WIndows out  and I bought a Holy Mac!

To ma tooralooriay, and me tooralooraladdie
And me toorallorilay, and a toorilooriladdie!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Eluned
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 11:55 PM

Ok, you asked for it! I only hope some of you are familiar with the origin tune. There's nothing haw-haw funny in this, but it's heavy in irony (and other stuff of that sort).

False Fruit On The Bough


(to the tune of The False Knight on the Road)

Oh, never eat that apple, said the Lord God on high above; Oh, no I won't do that, says Adam unto the Lord.
Just live here in Eden, said the Lord God of love;
Yes Lord, then says Adam, with Eve here I won't get bored.

Oh, why not eat that apple, said smart Eve unto her beau:
I guess then I will try it, says Adam unto his wife.
Now we need some clothes, said smart Eve, with no tresseau:
I guess I'll have to work, says Adam, and got a life.


Oh, don't you buy that Apple, said Rev Jim Peasb'ro:
Oh, no we won't do that, say his church goers and his peers.
Shall we buy that Apple? said woman to her beau;
Yes, please, let's do that, said the man, I'd like to dear!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Eluned
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 11:59 PM

Goofed up on the title-size and one of the breaks, but it looks pretty much like I meant it to........


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Kelida
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 12:14 AM

My computer's a disgrace, quickly slowing down the pace Of downloading my new typeface, it's driving me insane My excorcist was very sure that from my hard drive he'd procure A demon that would take his lure; to enter in my brain

Curse and swear, don't you dare, Please don't destroy my hardware Now, good friar have a care My patience is now quite low. . . . . . . . . . .

a short beginning of a parody to "Follow Me Up to Carlow" but now I'm too tired to finish it!

long day=MY HEAD HURTS


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Eluned
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 01:21 AM

Kelida;
I hope your head feels better when you read this!! A long lie-down ought to help.
When you feel better, I hope you decide to finish that tune, 'cause it sounds like it'll be a good one!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 01:29 AM

Amos, Eluned -- Ggggrrreeeaaattt! Worth waiting for, I must say!!

Kelida - Please feel better soon and finish your masterpiece -- it's a great beginning!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Eluned
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 02:30 AM

Thanks A'ine.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 11:52 AM

Amos, let the good times roll! (LMAO--"Holy Mac" indeed!!! PC brothers and sisters, rise and testify! Tell all those "Bad Mac" stories you've been saving up! Don't let these MacNerds spread these foul canards any further!)

Eluned, beware! Now that you've taken the plunge, you're hooked, you know...great job!

Kelida, hope you're feeling better today--more song soon, please???

Aine, what a great challenge this is being--thanks again for all the fun!

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 01:43 PM

Now Jill, stay away from them jihads, they can be awful stressful and I am sure you have better things to do than to stir up a religous war! :>))


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 04:26 PM

Yeah, no religious wars...even thought I DO have some bad Mac stories. I found they're just as grumpy as PC's when they jam up!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Kelida
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 10:33 PM

My computer's a disgrace, quickly slowing down the pace

Of downloading my new typeface, it's driving me insane

My excorcist was very sure that from my hard drive he'd procure

A demon that would take his lure; to enter in my brain

Curse and swear, don't you dare,

Please don't destroy my hardware

Now, good friar have a care

My patience is now quite low.

Higher price? Just say the word,

And more I'll pay, for by the Lord,

I've faith that I won't need my sword,

My Father, do you follow?

See the problem with e-mail? Loading slowly as a snail--

Now my my modem starts to fail, soon I think I'll crack

Faster now--look at the clock, I'm late to purchase my new stock

The price is falling like a rock, I want my money back.

This process has been such a bore, now I'm going--out the door--

I'll be at the computer store, to buy a new hard drive.

I feel sick, I'm seeing red, now some aspirin for my head,

[I can't think of a last line. . .]

There, it's finished for now--maybe someday I'll think of a last line.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 11:00 PM

There's devil in the box
there's a devil in the box
I can't turn away,
there's a devil in the box.

And he takes me where he wants
he takes me where he wants
It's never down to me,
for he takes me where he wants.

And he's dirty and he's foul,
he's dirty and he's foul,
and he's not like me at all,
for he's dirty and he''s foul.

Well they say that it was me
they say that it was me,
and they turn their eyes away,
for they say that it was me.

But I'm not the one to blame,
I'm not the one to blame,
it was that devil in the box,
it's the devil that's to blame.

There was a devil in the box
there was a devil in the box
and I couldn't turn away,
there was a devil in the box.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 11:00 PM

HOORAY KELIDA!! Welcome to the big time! HARP RIBBON HARP RIBBON!! Don't worry about the last line, as an artist you should know that a small sign of imperfection to break the symmetry is often a personal mark of an artist, you know, like leaving the one thread untied in the weaved blanket?

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Kelida
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 12:12 AM

I'm mostly a perfectionist about a lot of things, but parody writing is really difficult. It's so hard to stick with the original rhyme and meter. Stuff like this always happens to me--I'll be almost finished with a parody and then I just draw a blank. Oh, well--I'm still pretty proud of this one. And thanx Mbo!

(Y)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 12:19 AM

All right, Kelida! Well done!

McGrath, just couldn't resist, could you? (Yeah, yeah, sure it wasn't your fault...the devil made ya do it, right?)**BG**

Amos--who, me? Cause trouble and strife? Gee, I'm so sweet, I make myself sick! Couldn't have been me on that last post....

(Bless ye, Mac users, for ye have most greviously sinned...and we might have to whup up on your butts if you don't admit it... Okay, Lieutenant, where did you say that Assassin's Mountain was?)

Who typed that?????

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 12:41 AM

This thread gets better and better! Way to go, Kelida. Mcgrath, your usual superlative! Just so you guys know we ar enot fantasizing here, I forward for your reflection the following news from Microsoft:

Subject: Truth in advertising

The classically-minded among us may have noted a new TV ad for Microsoft's Internet Explorer e-mail program which uses the musical theme of the "Confutatis Maledictis" from Mozart's Requiem.

"Where do you want to go today?" is the cheery line on the screen. While the chorus sings "Confutatis maledictis, flammis acribus addictis," This translates to "The damned and accursed are convicted to the flames of hell."

Good to know that Microsoft has done its research.

Warm regards,

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 02:11 AM

Great job Kelida! And Amos, JL, and Homeless...I think We're on to something with this Bill Gates/Hades connection.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 07:57 AM

No need to worry - "The Gates of Hell will not prevail against you"


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: GUEST,McGRath of Harlow
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 08:12 AM

That last GUEST was me - I'm on another computer.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 09:34 AM

Wow! I go away to watch a hockey game and catch some shut-eye and look what happens. Why is it that all the great stuff comes in when my back is turned?

Kelida - Didn't we know you had it in you? Fantastic job -- I had visions of the White Rabbit from Wonderland performing that -- OK, so I had some rather suspect pizza for dinner last night, and my hockey team did win the game (which always makes my head twirl)...and don't worry about the missing line - you can always call it a 'work in progress'.

And McGrath -- We are honored by your company, sir. And a wonderful song. Spooky, is what I'd call it. Especially since the "box" could symbolize anything -- Artful and timeless -- You really show us all how it's done. Thank you.

So who haven't we heard from yet?? Oh yea, me. Well, I'm having trouble coming up with something, but I haven't yet given up. I'll see if I can get it together today.

Way to go, Challenge!rs -- you're my kind of folks, Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Bradypus
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 06:45 PM

Eluned said "The woods would be silent indeed if only the best birds sang"

I'd like to propose this thought as a theme for a future challenge.

Bradypus


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 07:48 PM

Dear Bradypus,

Consider your suggestion (1) an excellent one, and (2) in the queue -- Mbo's challenge idea is next, and then yours. Will that do ya? And thanks so much for the wonderful idea! Oh, and both you and Eluned will be credited for the suggestion, OK?

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 06:50 PM

****************** AWARDS, AWARDS, AWARDS!! ******************

Who cares about those ole dumb movie awards, uh? I gotcher awards right here . . . Congrats, Cudos and Thanks again to everyone to entered a song, and to all those who just enjoyed the ride along with us! Don't forget to check the SONG CHALLENGE! WINNERS PAGE to see if you're eligible for the Two-Fer-One or Whole Bag O' Chips awards. The next Challenge! idea is Mbo's -- Look for it in the morning, Texas time, that is.

-- Áine

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster:
Every Word You Type by Hyperabid
False Fruit On The Bough by Eluned
My Computer's A Disgrace by Kelida M.
The Devil Plays Inside My Modem by Mbo

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon:
Courting Disaster by Amos
The Devil's Got My Gateway by Mbo

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest:
Screwtape's New Strategy by Bradypus
The Devil's New House by Homeless
The Reverend Jim And The Data Devil by JL in Ozland
There's A Devil In The Box by McGrath of Harlow


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 27 Mar 00 - 11:48 AM

Umm...Aine, "The Devil's Got My Gateway" is another blues song...I think it should get a Blue Smoke Shield, not a Harp Ribbon.

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 27 Mar 00 - 12:06 PM

Dear Mbo,

It wasn't a mistake, I meant to give the Harp Ribbon. Just 'cause it's a blues song, doesn't mean it can't qualify for the Harp Ribbon. The HR, as all Challenge!rs know, is a very coveted award. Your song deserved the special recognition that it received!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 27 Mar 00 - 05:29 PM

MEA CULPA!! MEA CULPA!! MEA CULPA!!

Profound and Utter Apologies Are hereby given and pardon begged from Lin in Kansas (f/k/a JL in Ozland) AND Lonesome EJ for my stupidity and gross ineptness as Keeper of The Book for forgetting their wonderful entries to this here Challenge! Therefore, it is now proclaimed and announced that their songs, When The Devil And The Kid Met Up by LiK and The Ballad Of Bill And Lucifer by Lonesome EJ are both winners of The Golden Cow Chip With Guinness Crest.

Spank me!! Cast thy stones upon me!! I am the most miserable of creatures under the sun!! But, please, please forgive me and do not desert me!!

-- Áine (at her most humbled and sorrowful)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 00 - 05:34 PM

UHHHoh! The Gaelic Goddess is going around posing as human! Pretending to have flaws, an such...like that Leida an' the Swanno guy I read about... better keep a sharp lookout, you guys -- she'll try any adventure when she dons the fleshly raiment of a mortal!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Mar 00 - 08:38 PM

It musta been de debils in her 'puter made her miss dem summa dem songs.

Ah jist loved all uh yo funny sawngs, like to DAH, LAFfin? Oh Ah mos' bust me a gutful uh puppies, chilren! Lawd have mercy, Ah knows Ah is sposed to rebuke yuh's fuh takin' suchlike so light but Laff? Oh have mercy, Lawd, have mercy, Ah jist cain't scold dem critters, nohow!

But I'se maghty confoosed, frien's, cuz mah Windows? Wal, dey doan' let nuttin' in but de angels o'heaven, else whereat did you-all come from? Onliest thing Ah can think is youse afraid tuh cas' yo debil-angels out ifn dey come 'roun'... yuh know yuh cain't hardly yewse none uh dat dere holie wadder in a compuder but dere's allways de word uh de Lawd...

Doan none uh you fahn foke hev de word uh de Lawd on your dere on yo compuder? Now honey dat ain't no problem neether, dey has speshul places raght on de internet isseff nowadays, is full uh Scripshur, sho nuff do! Kin Ah hep enny uh you-all fahnd you some?

Ah'll hep yuh's de bestes' An kin, yuh know Ah wud...

~Yo frien' Miz Susi-bet~


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 00 - 08:55 PM

Dang -- Gaelic Goddess has joined the World Trade Organization!!! What'll they think of next !! :>)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 27 Mar 00 - 09:33 PM

Well folkies, I'm outta here for today -- but this has been the funnest Challenge yet....thanks to all of you. It was a blast! Catch you on the flipflop.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 27 Mar 00 - 10:48 PM

Amen to that, Mr. Amos--And Miss Áine, thank y'all muchly for the lovely awards--just lookin' at 'em up there on the mantel makes me sooooooo proud!

Folks, y'all are ALL AWESOME!

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 28 Mar 00 - 10:04 PM

Aine, my feelings are still hurt. But there is SOMETHING you can do. I will send you a personal msg regarding where to wire the money.

Tin Pan LEJ


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: SharonA
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 12:13 PM

*refresh*

While derrymacash and Jack the Sailor are busy elsewhere in the past SONG CHALLENGE! archives, I'll continue to pursue my own quest to answer each CHALLENGE! in no particular order (the right-side-of-the-brain method)...


TEAT RAVE
(Tune: "Heat Wave" performed by Martha and the Vandellas)

Whenever I'm plugged in,
Somethin' inside
Starts to churnin'
And I'm thrilled in my wires.
Could be the devil's in me
(So, is this to say Luc'fer knows PC?)

It's like a teat rave
Churnin' in my parts
I can't keep from spyin'
On bare and naked tarts.

Whenever his balls of flame
Roll over my brain
I squeel, yzzdzzh dzzzdzd, I squeal with surging gain.
Has my short circuit gone cuckolding me
Or is this what "play rough"'s supposed to be?

Just like a teat rave
Churnin' in my parts
I can't keep from spyin'
On bare and naked tarts.

Sometimes my monitor's gaze
Flickers out of its phase.
You can't retrain it;
Why can't you stand it?
Ain't you never seen guys kiss before?
Or girls having sex in eighteen odd ways
You don't know how to do? My hard drive is blazin'

Like a teat rave
Churnin' in my parts
I can't keep from spyin'
On bare and naked tarts.

Yeah-yeah, Yeah-yeaaah, wwwo-wwwo-wwwohhhhh (Teat rave)
Yeah-yeah, Yeah-yeaaah, wwwo-wwwo-wwwohhhhh (Teat rave)
Don't boot up, Chris-tians.
This mouse gets into your pants! Teat rave!!!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: SharonA
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 03:47 PM

(...or is it the left-side-of-the-brain? Both sides of my brain forget!)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 18 Aug 01 - 07:06 PM

ROTFLMAO!! Here ya go again, mizz Sharon --

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):

Teat Rave by SharonA


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 20 Aug 01 - 12:23 PM

Conga drums........ naked pagans........ dancing wildly ..... in the flickering light........ of computer screens

Sympathy For the Devil (2001) Rolling Stones Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and power
I've been around for many long years , but this is my finest hour
I was around when Henry Ford, Started his polluting craze
I made damn sure that people Who drove freeways would be delayed

{soc}
Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name,
but what's puzzling you, is the nature of my game
{eoc}

I stick around at vending machine to see you don't get change
I make your Car hit mudpuddles So you'll need carwash,then it rains
I make the bank do that aweful prank where they play around with your credit rank

{c:Chorus}

I watched T.V. while Jim and Tammy, wasted money raised in your gods name
I shouted out "We came from Monkeys!" To take your mind off what he said
So let me please introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and Power
And I lay traps for teenagers, who get cable porn every hour

{c:Chorus}

Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name,
but what's confusing you, is just the nature of my game

Just as Pentium sounds like Pentigram, and all Software, Sucks
To sell your soul just call Billy Gates, I don't rely on luck
So if your computer spurts out gibberish, and porn and other trash
Blame it all on Lucifer, but send me all your cash

{c:Chorus}


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 07:40 AM

To the tune of Kelly, The Boy From Killane

What's the news, what's the news, oh my bold engineer
Who's attempting to fix my PC
Is it crashed, is it trashed, is it mangled and mashed
And devoid of all functionality
Good news, good news, I have checked every fuse
Every wire, every lead there's no risk
Of your system at fault, it won't grind to a halt
The devil has invaded your disk

What to do, what to do, who should I now turn to
To resume computation forthwith
I am peeved, I'm aggrieved, I've been duped and deceived
By a foul spirit from the abyss
To the priest, to the priest, he has power to release
Your hard disk from the fiend's wicked grip
Straightaway, don't delay, you must ask the padre
To send Nick from your memory chips

Father Green, Father Green, something evil and obscene
From the sulphurous charnel-house of hell
Now resides, deep inside, my joy and my pride
My computer that's powered by Intel
Never fear, never fear, Father Green he is here
With his incense, his collar and prayers
Satan will flee from the rosiary
And again I shall kick him downstairs


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: MMario
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:01 AM

Better late then never, eh?


Intro/chorus:
Computer you're the divil, you're leading me astray
On the 'net and forum, and into cyber-space
You're a faster, smarter, vid-center
You're three-dee stereo!
Computer you're me darlin' saved or damned-oh!


Reverand Jim went down to Georgia
he said "Devil, let me warn ya!"
"I'll fight you for the souls of users
and my Mama didn't raise no loser!
'Net fare - thee -well!
With a binary idle modem turnin on
And a cable ready fiber filter wall
To anti-daemon upgrade go
Daemon bugs be gone



Computer you're the divil, you're leading me astray
On the 'net and forum, and into cyber-space
You're a faster, smarter, vid-center
You're three-dee stereo!
Computer you're me darlin' saved or damned-oh!


They said it was a feature
but ol' Jim he knew the creature
lurking in the newest circuit
was the devil's very servant
'Net fare - thee -well!
With a binary idle modem turnin on
And a cable ready fiber filter wall
To anti-daemon upgrade go
Daemon bugs be gone



Computer you're the divil, you're leading me astray
On the 'net and forum, and into cyber-space
You're a faster, smarter, vid-center
You're three-dee stereo!
Computer you're me darlin' saved or damned-oh!


Trojan worm or viral lurker
Excorcise the daemon circuit
Satan has no hold on us
we've got the latest highspeed bus
'Net fare - thee -well!
With a binary idle modem turnin on
And a cable ready fiber filter wall
To anti-daemon upgrade go
Daemon bugs be gone



Computer you're the divil, you're leading me astray
On the 'net and forum, and into cyber-space
You're a faster, smarter, vid-center
You're three-dee stereo!
Computer you're me darlin' saved or damned-oh!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:33 AM

Jeeze, MM!! Talk about late completion!! LOL!

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 10:47 AM

well - y'know - I'm getting older and things just don't happen as fast these days.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:25 PM

Excellent entry, my darlin'!! I didn't know that you operated on S.I.T. (Standard Irish Time) -- ;-)

Love it, love it, love it. I've gotta go with the chorus for your B.L.O.B.:

Computer you're the divil, you're leading me astray
On the 'net and forum, and into cyber-space
You're a faster, smarter, vid-center
You're three-dee stereo!
Computer you're me darlin' saved or damned-oh!


'you're me darlin' saved or damed-oh' -- it just doesn't get better than that!!

Big hugs, your lovin' TGG


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:45 PM

And BTW, I did finally make an MP3 of Lin's entry complete with the fiddle pieces and sent it to her shortly after our original discussion so long ago. To good effect.

A


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