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Lyr Add: It's Only My Willy (Roger Gall)

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BRAUNSTON BELLE AND THE NUMBER ONE
BROKEN OKIE
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The Shambles 24 Mar 00 - 08:06 AM
GUEST,Julie 24 Mar 00 - 08:20 AM
GUEST,me 24 Mar 00 - 08:48 AM
Molly Malone 24 Mar 00 - 11:01 AM
Bert 24 Mar 00 - 11:13 AM
Molly Malone 24 Mar 00 - 11:16 AM
Lady McMoo 24 Mar 00 - 11:20 AM
Amos 24 Mar 00 - 11:24 AM
Uncle_DaveO 24 Mar 00 - 12:16 PM
Homeless 24 Mar 00 - 12:20 PM
Liz the Squeak 24 Mar 00 - 02:51 PM
ceitagh 24 Mar 00 - 03:24 PM
Clinton Hammond2 24 Mar 00 - 03:35 PM
Caitrin 24 Mar 00 - 03:47 PM
Lanfranc 24 Mar 00 - 04:41 PM
Kara 24 Mar 00 - 05:07 PM
MarkS 24 Mar 00 - 05:14 PM
McGrath of Harlow 24 Mar 00 - 10:28 PM
Kelida 24 Mar 00 - 10:54 PM
Mbo 24 Mar 00 - 11:11 PM
wysiwyg 25 Mar 00 - 01:51 AM
Amos 25 Mar 00 - 01:58 PM
wysiwyg 25 Mar 00 - 10:06 PM
Joe Offer 26 Mar 00 - 03:24 AM
Ebbie 26 Mar 00 - 01:25 PM
Ditchdweller 26 Mar 00 - 01:32 PM
Ebbie 26 Mar 00 - 04:48 PM
The Shambles 26 Mar 00 - 06:04 PM
Ed Pellow 26 Mar 00 - 06:12 PM
Grab 27 Mar 00 - 09:50 AM
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Subject: Lyr Add: IT'S ONLY MY WILLY (Roger Gall)
From: The Shambles
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 08:06 AM

It's Only My Willy

Hey! Dad today, we leaned about sex
But don't worry, we leaned it in a loving and moral context
Hey! Mom, don't be silly
It's not the Devil's Serpent, it's only my willy


The lesson went well but the teacher, she turned pale
And all this crap about the family, sure sounds like a fairy tale
I found, I'm not running down, the 'road to temptation'
Not going deaf, not going blind, it's only masturbation!

Hey! Dad today, we leaned about sex
But don't worry, we leaned it in a loving and moral context
Hey! Mom, don't be silly
It's not the Devil's Serpent, it's only my willy


What we learned today, well it was honest and it was factual
It made me realise, that sex, was only natural
But hey! If that's OK, then why do you squirm?
When I try to tell you, all the things I've learned

Hey! Dad today, we leaned about sex
But don't worry, we leaned it in a loving and moral context
Hey! Mom, don't be silly
It's not the Devil's Serpent, it's only my willy

Roger Gall 1996.

The Microsoft Encarta (UK version), definition of the term: " Sex Education, broadly defined, any instruction in the processes and consequences of sexual activity, ordinarily given to children and adolescents. Today the term usually refers to classroom lessons about sex taught in primary and secondary schools. Historically, the task of instructing, adolescents about sex has been seen as the responsibility of the parents. But parent-child communication in sexual matters may be hindered by parental inhibitions or by various intergenerational tensions, and studies have shown that children rarely receive their first information on sexual matters from their parents."

If all the lessons now taught in schools had to be reduced for some reason, to just one, this subject, would be the one I would choose to be the most important. It is now the year 2000, with record numbers of teenage pregnancies, abortions and unwanted children and the dinosaurs that still inhabit our House of Lords have just succeeded in a move to bring sex education back to the Jurassic, with them.

They seem to be under the impression that by making available to children, all of our collective wisdom and information, on this subject (which we think to be desirable in all other subjects), will turn them all into homosexuals.

I am under the impression that our respected Lords, should maybe change places with our children?


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: GUEST,Julie
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 08:20 AM

As the parent of a almost 15 year old girl I'm naturally worried about this issue. Teenagers respond best if they are treated as adult and the idea that you can unduely influence them just by telling them about homosexuality is absurb. In fact it will greatly help them to meet well balance people of all types. I am convinced that the way to teach sex education is to bring in people who are only slighly older to relate their experience, how their decisions have affected their lives and how they have handled things.

Meanwhile I deal with my daughter's impending adulthood with the strategy of keeping her busy with music , dancing and homework, trying to raise her aspirations for the future and by making her listen to my entire collection of songs of women who have surrendered their maidenhead and regretted it. I can very nearly accept her as an adult but it is difficult. ( I've gone off the point - sorry )

Julie


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: GUEST,me
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 08:48 AM

Shambles, what can I say. I heard of a woman who wouldn't let her four year old boy run around naked under the sprinkler with the three year girl next door because she was afraid that he would turn out to be a homosexual. There is some cog in that logic that I just don't get. Perhaps the house of Lords should run naked under a sprinkler.

I like the song.

My daughter, at the tender age of four, asked me "How does the man put his seed in the woman?" "With his penis." I answered. I can still hear her laughter. She thought this was the funniest thing ever and I'm not sure she believed me.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Molly Malone
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 11:01 AM

When I saw this thread I thought I was getting the lyrics to "It's Only a Willie, So What's the Big Deal".

Darn.

My mom had to tell me the birds and the bees because the two neighbor boys were telling me about peeing into a garbage can. (Don't you know that's how babies are made?) I figure if I don't tell them the truth then someone else will make it up. I'd rather they had the truth.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Bert
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 11:13 AM

I think this is the one you're thinking of, Molly.

Bert.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Molly Malone
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 11:16 AM

Wow! The DT DOES have everything!


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Lady McMoo
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 11:20 AM

Well the House of Lords are being quite hypocritical as most of them are reportedly homosexual themselves anyway.

mcmoo


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 11:24 AM

It's only a willy so what's all the bother?
It's only a willy, so what's all the fuss?
IIt's only a willy, and everyone's got one
IThere's more to life than your crotch!
I
Iare the fragments I remember of that "It's Only A Willy" -- an earlier song with a similar name -- I'd love likewise to get the words to it.
I
IA


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 12:16 PM

"Son, I think it's time for you and me to have a little talk about the facts of life."

"Sure, dad. What do you want to know?"

Dave Oesterreich


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Homeless
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 12:20 PM

Dave - I've got a Sex Ed test that I bet would take him down a couple notches. I've never met anyone yet that could answer all the questions correctly. If you're interested I'll personal mail you a copy - it get's kinda raunchy.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 02:51 PM

There is a great book called 'Mummy laid an Egg', which has a great way of telling the facts, simply and clearly for those pre teen questions, and has a whole page of pictures of 'the way mummies and daddies fit together'.... I want to try the one with the balloons.....

LTS


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: ceitagh
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 03:24 PM

Any semi intelligent kid has figured it all out by the time they do sex ed. anyway...unless of course there is no tv, no books, and no other (slightly older) kids around...i remember sex ed. in gr.5...the entire class was giggling in embarrassment for the poor teacher...the sex part was boring at that age, everyone wanted to know if there really could be babies with two heads, or who were born green 'cause the mother ate too many vegetables, etc...they'd been reading National Enquirer. :-) By the time they stopped making us take sex ed. in health class (gr.10) we knew it all...except the really important stuff, like "how do you know if you really love someone," and "what do you do when he breaks up with you," and "what excuse can i use if i don't *want* to have sex." We did have a really good idea what motherhood looked like...my class produced 3 teen moms!

pax,
ceit


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Clinton Hammond2
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 03:35 PM

Liz...

How does that book compaire to the book, "Where Do I Come From"?? A fantastic book for young children who are curious...

Has the best description of an orgasim I've ever read, "Kinda like a sneeze that feels good" or something to that effect...
LOL!!

{~`


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Caitrin
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 03:47 PM

Well, when I was about six, I asked my mom for "The Real Truth About Sex and Santa Claus." Not that I thought they were in any way related...they were just the two big secrets of the time. Mom was very matter-of-fact about it, and I was satisfied with the answer. By about third grade or so, most everyone I knew knew about sex, generally not from their parents. Sex ed doesn't start around here until fifth grade or so. Unfortunately, it's mostly a basic "Sex will kill you" approach. Because they are under the illusion that saying "Sex will kill you" will prevent people from having sex, they don't get into actually educating people on how to protect themselves.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Lanfranc
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 04:41 PM

Sex ed in an English Public School c 1960 comprised a furtively shared copy of a military publication called "The Red Light" - more about avoiding STDs than pregnancy, and a 20-minute talk by an embarrassed (and embarrassing) schoolmaster who spelt penis "pinus" - I grew up thinking that pinus sylvestris was a cat's cock!

Homosexuals abounded as per all the literature, "My mother made me a homosexual" "If I send her the wool, would she make me one,too?". They were pejoratively referred to as "queers", "browns" or "homos", but few of my schoolfriends took them seriously, or at all. They were "there", like the girls in the High School next door were "there" - and just about as comprehensible.

The things that stick in my craw are the adoption of the word "gay", which was so useful in other contexts, and the presumption that if you are not a crop-headed, fascist male chauvinist pig, and exhibit any sensitivity whatsoever, you are, actually or latently, homosexual.

Having hung around the fringes of "show business" for years, I know many overt homosexuals, none of whom have ever made me feel threatened or, for that matter, tried to seduce me.

Section 28 is not the answer. "Love one another with a pure heart" just might be, if you don't think with your crotch.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Kara
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 05:07 PM

Johnny came home from school one day " daddy daddy where do I come from" os Daddy sits him down and tells himm all about the birds and the bees " oh" says Johnny " cos my mate sam says he comes from Manchester"


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: MarkS
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 05:14 PM

Sex education is fine, but now lets talk about the real issue
Sex opportunity.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 10:28 PM

I think all sneezes feel good anyway, Clinton.

I quite enjoyed school, and learnt lots of interesting stuff, and explored lots of interesting ideas - but pretty well nothing that's been of practical use in adult life did I learn at school.

I learned to read and write before I went to school. Since leaving school and then university, a long time ago, I learned to drive, use a typewriter, write various kinds of stuff, use a computer, play the guitar...just about everything that's mattered to me. (Well I began to learn to play the guitar while I was at university, but not as part of my studies.)

And they didn't go in for sex education either in my school - I remember a great teacher we had read us the "Ballad of Reading Gaol." "Please Sir, why was Oscar Wilde in prison?", and the poor man trying to imply it something to do with debt, and avoiding catching the eyes of the helpful boys sticking their hands up in the air to help him with the answer.

I'd have thought too much about sex in school, and it would soon be about as popular as quadratic equations.

Schools are not so much about learning things, much of the time they are more a way of keeping children under some kind of surveillance. That's not a bad idea, maybe, but they could do a better job at that if they realised that that was the job they were trying to do.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Kelida
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 10:54 PM

I've actually learned a few useful things in school:

1. Green meat=bad

2. That hot German exchange student is GREAT help for doing better in German class. (what can I say, I'm a closet chauvinist)

3. Society doesn't approve of individuality--and I don't care.

4. Respect the janitors--they can go on strike (that really happened at my school--it was gross)

5. Business ethics are dead--as evidenced by my school district's hiring of scabs to break a recent bus drivers' strike.

6. drawings of genitals are not acceptable sketches for art class, no matter how realistic they are, neither are hand-tracing-turkeys : (

I've probably learned other things, but these are some that come to mind.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Mar 00 - 11:11 PM

I'm not sure if I know...

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 01:51 AM

Um, Amos?

Read your post, and um, I was wondering? I don't have a willy... am I supposed to?

~S~


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Amos
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 01:58 PM

I'm not sure if the usage is universaly limited to one gender -- if not, you just haven't looked in the right place.


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Mar 00 - 10:06 PM

Oh, he's bad, very very bad.

~S~


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Joe Offer
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 03:24 AM

Um....Amos, did you realize that, of course, your song is in the Digital Tradition, at the location Bert linked to above - Click?
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 01:25 PM

Thread creep: Praise, surely you realize that's the generic EVERYONE that includes all people, including the female! What would we do without inconsistency. (Personally, I would like to call everyone WOMAN- definite inclusion of the female of the species and has MAN inside.):~) Ebbie


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Ditchdweller
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 01:32 PM

Well, I am donning my flak jacket & tin hat before sticking my head above the parapet. First, by rejecting the abolition of "Section 28", the House of Lords have done no more than respond to the wishes and fears of the majority of the people of Britain, which is more than the Government are doing on this matter.

Most of us share the opinions of Dr. Laura Schlessinger that homosexuality is a biological error leading to devient behaviour. An opinion that is, in the light of the recent overwhelming rejection of homosexual marriage by the people of California and Vermont, possibly shared by the vast majority of American citizens.

Given the prominance of sex in the media, it is possible that the amount of sex education children receive actually encourages them to experiment, with the rise in teenage (and now pre-teen) pregnancies being the disasterous result.

Regarding Section 28, there is nothing in it that will prevent a teacher counciling a child who is, (or thinks they are) homosexual, neither will it prevent a school from stamping hard on related bullying. These claims originate entirely from certain groups advocating increased homosexual rights.

And what are these increased rights? Apart from the oft stated wish for homosexual marriage, these include the right to meet strangers in a variety of locations, including public toilets, graveyards, public parks, car parks and indulging in public and semi-public homosexual activity. Already in London, Birmingham and Manchester there are facillities, supposedly open to the general public, where ordinary people dare not take their children because of the blatent exhibitionism of active homosexuals.

We do not want to see our children corrupted at a vunerable age by the promotion of perversions. Sapper


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Ebbie
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 04:48 PM

Even if it were true, which I don't grant because I don't know, that homosexuality is a biological error, in what way would that damn the homosexual? Expecting each homosexual person to be asexual or at least celibate is not realistic. I don't know many heterosexuals who are or have been willing to be sexless. And why the fear? I have heard several very macho men say something to the effect that if they, meaning homosexuals, had legal rights, homosexuality would spread into the general population. Perhaps- but isn't the speaker voicing his opinion (or perhaps, fear) that same-sex sex is better? I don't know. What I feel I do know is that a gay person doesn't suddenly tell him or herself, Hey, I choose to be gay! From everything I have ever heard, each gay person FINDS themselves gay- they didn't choose it. Why in the world, given the bashing and hatemongering they face all their lives, would anyone CHOOSE it? What and who you are as a decent human being does not hurt me or those I love. IMHO


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: The Shambles
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 06:04 PM

Sapper.

Your use of 'we' and 'most of us' does not include me.

However you or society may wish to describe homosexuality or any of the other of the vast range of sexual preferences, they do in fact exist.

They are as much of or indeed more of a fact than all the so-called historical facts we quite happily teach in schools.

What would be the value of teaching any history if you intentionally left out huge chunks?

I may not like the fact that genocide has and is being practised but I would wish my children to know this fact.

If you teach children that Henry VIII had two of his wives beheaded, is that promoting the practice or just teaching a fact?


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Subject: Lyr Add: BIG GAY HEART (Evan Dando)
From: Ed Pellow
Date: 26 Mar 00 - 06:12 PM

I'm not gay but I despise homophobia. Maybe people like Sapper should listen to songs like this a bit more:

BIG GAY HEART (Evan Dando)

Take a look into some big grey eyes
And ask yourself, do you want to make them cry?
Looking out of them. it's just as well
But you're gonna live to see, I'm gonna ask you why
Either way you got a bone to pick
Can't you leave that to somebody else?
I don't need you to suck my dick
Or to help me feel good about myself

Big gay heart
Please don't break my big gay heart
Big gay heart
Please don't break my big gay heart

Why can't you look after yourself and not down on me?
Do you have to try to piss me off 'cause I'm easy to please?
Why can't you look after yourself and not down on me?
Yeah, while I understand now, you're not with the big gay scene

If you can find a way to add it up
It might be hard but it might be enough
I'd be grateful, I'd be satisfied
And you might find in time it wouldn't feel so bad
After all it doesn't take that much
And it would mean the sum to me
For you to lose the part
That's still afraid and not prepared to see

My big gay heart
In the dark, my big gay heart
Big gay heart
Please don't break my big gay heart

Why can't you look after yourself and not down on me?
Do you have to try to piss me off just 'cause I'm easy to please?
Why can't you look after yourself and not down on me?
Yeah while I understand now you're not with the big gay scene

Big gay heart
Please don't break my big gay heart
Big gay heart
Please don't break my big gay heart
My big gay heart
In the dark, big gay heart
My big gay heart
Please don't break my big gay heart

Ed


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Subject: RE: It's Only My Willy/Sex Education.
From: Grab
Date: 27 Mar 00 - 09:50 AM

Sapper,

Hard hat's probably worthwhile for a post like that! :-)

I agree with you, homosexuality is probably biological - there's plenty of evidence of homosexuality amongst animals who are unlikely to be affected by group pressure and environment like humans. Technically, this is also "deviance" since homosexuals form a minority, although the term has acquired a negative slant (which I believe is how you intended it).

As far as teenage pregnancies go, "experimentation" is the word you should indeed use. An experiment involves trying something out when you don't know what the result is going to be, as is the case with sex for inexperienced individuals. Surely then the answer is more education so that the result is well-known? The Netherlands is constantly held up as example of liberal policy, and I'm going to do it too - their teenage pregnancy rate is far below ours in the UK, or yours in the US, and they have pretty detailed and explicit sex education. If you live in the Bible Belt and all you get is "sex is sinful and we don't talk about it", how are you going to find out what's going on? Indeed, if you do have sex, how are you going to know that what you did was sex, or what the results of it are (beyond being damned to hellfire and brimstone, of course... ;-)

You're right, there's no reason why schools shouldn't crack down on bullying. But I personally don't see the point in Section 28. The ultimate aim of spiritual education should be teaching someone to seek out a partner whom they love absolutely. I believe the divorce rate is disgusting, not because divorce itself is bad but because people are getting married to partners whom they don't love and have no intention of staying with for any length of time. If you were taught (or indoctrinated, even) to only marry (or form a lasting relationship) with someone you sincerely loved, then I'd be a damn sight happier with society. And I don't give a crap if they're black, white, man, woman or a 3-legged space alien! I don't think homosexuality should be promoted, but I don't think heterosexuality should be promoted either. We're talking personalities here, not some bloody advertising campaign!

I grant you, public homosexual activity in toilets and the like is unpleasant. Equally unpleasant though is the activity around many night-clubs, where there's heterosexuals doing much the same thing. Casual sex is casual sex, regardless of orientation.

Your last sentence I won't bother with - it's flamebait and I refuse to take the bait.

I do respect your views, but I'd like to see you justify them a little more, beyond the basic "it'll corrupt young minds" argument which has never worked. The same argument was used for Elvis and the Beatles, IIRC...

Grab.


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