|
Subject: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Sue B. Date: 28 Mar 00 - 09:21 AM Could anyone help with a song that starts "Dear, dear, what can the matter be? Seven old ladies got lost in the lavatory..." Thanks! |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: KingBrilliant Date: 28 Mar 00 - 09:56 AM Try a search on 'lavatory'. kris |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia Date: 28 Mar 00 - 10:38 AM The complete lyrics are in the Digitrad under "Seven Old Ladies". I first heard Oscar Brand sing this song back in the early sixties. JG / FME |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Penny S. Date: 28 Mar 00 - 12:03 PM The version we knew (sort of) was three old ladies, locked in the lavatory, who were there from Monday to Saturday.
They'd promised to go out to tea with the vicar, Penny |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Liz the Squeak Date: 28 Mar 00 - 12:27 PM The lavatory door was a bit of a sticker.... I used to sing it whilst cleaning out lavatory in the restaurant I worked in, little realising that my none too subtle voice carried around the carpark outside..... Seems I worked up quite a following! LTS |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST Date: 28 Mar 00 - 12:30 PM Not too close a following, I hope, Liz. Sopho. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 10 Aug 08 - 09:10 PM http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24159969-29277,00.html?from=public_rss |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 10 Aug 08 - 09:23 PM Oops - please kill that mistake... Woman trapped in bathroom two days |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Joe_F Date: 10 Aug 08 - 09:26 PM When I was a senior at Caltech (1961-62), one of the freshman sections for some reason had high morale, and they wrote a takeoff Oh, dear, what can the matter be? Twenty-one freshmen all locked in a lab'rat'ry, Locked in on Monday and left there till Saturday -- Nobody gives a shit. It had a stanza lampooning each member (speculating, army style, on what his highschool sweetheart might be up to, etc.), and had some charm, but I don't suppose it survives. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Charley Noble Date: 10 Aug 08 - 10:01 PM A few years back we had a judge here in Maine who locked himself in for the entire weekend; I commemorated his plight in my song "Justice En Lieu." Even sent his honor a copy but never received any acknowledgment. So it goes! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,machree01 Date: 11 Aug 08 - 07:23 AM I have the Wolfe Tones singing it on 45 rpm, 1970—Dolphin DOS 59 Slievenamon/7 Old Ladies. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Steve Gardham Date: 11 Aug 08 - 05:01 PM Come on there must be thousands of verses! I'll start the ball rolling with what might even be the original. The first old lady was old Mrs Humphrey She got stuck and couldn't get her bum free She cried 'I'll stay here becos I'm so comfy' And nobody knew she was there |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: JohnB Date: 11 Aug 08 - 05:28 PM The second ladies name was Miss Agatha Spender She went in there to fix her suspender But she got mixed up with the Masculine gender And nobody knew she was there The third Lady was the Bishop of Chichester's Daughter She went in there to pass Holy Water but when she had finished the rising tide caught her And nobody knew she was there JohnB |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Bill D Date: 11 Aug 08 - 05:31 PM all those verses & more have been posted in earlier threads |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego Date: 11 Aug 08 - 06:51 PM I could have sworn this was a Tom Lehrer original. I'm sure that, just as George Cromarty and Ed Rush's "Plastic Jesus" gained innumerable verses over time, so has this song. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Charley Noble Date: 11 Aug 08 - 09:42 PM TJ- There are many original verses to this ditty but known acknowledged by the immortal Tom Lehrer. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: pavane Date: 12 Aug 08 - 05:18 AM I looked through the various versions, and can't see this verse - a variant of the "vicar" verse The second old lady's Elizabeth Wicker She only went in to escape from the vicar She thought she was quick but the vicar was quicker And nobody knew they were there |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,machree01 Date: 12 Aug 08 - 07:18 AM These our the lyrics from the 45rpm that i have, Wolfe Tones singing it on 45 rpm, 1970—Dolphin DOS 59 Slievenamon/7 Old Ladies. 7 Old Ladies Well the first was the wife of the deacon in Dover Though she was known as a bit of a rover She liked it so much; well she thought she'd stay over, And nobody new she was there. And it's oh dear what can the matter be, Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory, They were there from Sunday to Saturday, Nobody new they were there. Well the second old lady miss estal Mortal She jump through the window Like a steeple chase hurdle, But her big toe got caught, in the sim of her girdle And nobody new they were there. And it's oh dear what can the matter be, Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory, They were there from Sunday to Saturday, Nobody new they were there. Well the next old miss Jennifer Pin, She only sat down, on a turtle win, When somehow she got pinch't, With the bowl and the rim And nobody new she was there. And it's oh dear what can the matter be, Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory, They were there from Sunday to Saturday, Nobody new they were there. Well the next old lady miss Penelope Humphrey, Sat on the bowl and arranged herself comfy, When she tried to get up, well she couldn't get her bum free. And nobody new they were there. And it's oh dear what can the matter be, Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory, They were there from Sunday to Saturday, Nobody new they were there. Well the next old lady her name it was Mason, She couldn't get in, so she used the basin, But that was the water that I wash me face in, For I didn't now she was there And it's oh dear what can the matter be, Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory, They were there from Sunday to Saturday, Nobody new they were there. Well the next old lady her name it was Baker, She search high and low for to try find some paper, But all she could find was a brick-layers scrapper, And nobody new they were there. And it's oh dear what can the matter be, Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory, They were there from Sunday to Saturday, Nobody new they were there. Well the next old lady her name it was Margaret, She put in her penny, in the silage she farted, Oh what a waste, she only ****** And nobody new she was there. And it's oh dear what can the matter be, Seven old ladies got stuck in the lavatory, They were there from Sunday to Saturday, Nobody new they were there. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Jack Campin Date: 24 Nov 10 - 07:47 PM And a real-life one: one old lady locked in the lavatory |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Charley Noble Date: 24 Nov 10 - 10:27 PM Jack- Too real! I'm glad she survived. I also composed a ditty commemorating the real life incident when a judge in Maine managed to lock himself in his private bathroom in the court house for an entire weekend; I titled the song "Justice en Lieu." Cheerily, Charley Noble |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: LadyJean Date: 24 Nov 10 - 11:51 PM Ok, a verse or two from my sainted mother, who taught me 3 Old Ladies Got Locked in a Lavatory, which she had learned from a friend of HER mother's. The first old lady was Elizabeth Humphrey, She sat down but could not get her bum free. She said, Oh girls but isn't this comfree! Nobody knew she was there. The next old lady was Harriet Slaughter, She was the Bishop of Chichester's daughter. She came in to pass some superfluos water Nobody knew she was there. The next old lady was Harriet Bender She came in to fix a suspender (British for garter.) It flew up and hit her feminine gender. Nobody knew she was there. Alas mom never heard this verse. The next old lady was a Catholic lass. She came in all for to miss mass. A thief came in and he pincher her--handbag Nobody knew she was there. I sang some songs my mother taught me for another catter. When we came to the three old ladies, there was a short pause after I finished the song then he said, "She taught you that!?" She did indeed. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: MGM·Lion Date: 25 Nov 10 - 04:05 AM In the version I knew in teens many years ago, two of the three [in this rendition] were clergy-daughters: Elizabeth Porter, the Bishop of Chichester's daughter; Elizabeth Humphries, daughter of the Vicar of Dumfries. The 3rd was merely Elizabeth Plender who was having some trouble with her suspender, which eventually, IIRC, got stuck in her feminine gender ~~ ~~ and nobody knew they were there! Rhymes required obvious or ascertainable further upthread And please note, whoever made that most dubious assertion above, that Tom Lehrer, about my age, was nowhere around in those days. ♥♫❤Michael❤♫♥ |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Leadfingers Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:01 AM What about the 'clean' version ? Oh dear what can the matter be Three old ladies nattering happily They were chating from Monday to Saturday And nobody knew they were there The first lady's name was Elizabth Humphrey She sat down and made herself comfy She revelled in scandal and she let her tongue free Ad nobody knew they were there The next lady's name was Jennifer Walters Her favourite topic was savng her daughter From letting the wrong man lead her to the altar When Nobody knew they were there And I cant remember the last verse |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Jim Carroll Date: 25 Nov 10 - 07:07 AM The next old lady, her name was Miss Carter And she was a most incredible farter; From God Save The Queen, to The Moonlight Sonata, And nobody knew she was there. Jim Carroll |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Bat Goddess Date: 25 Nov 10 - 11:13 AM I'm surprised this song wasn't trotted out at last Saturday's monthly sea music session (or the previous night's weekly session) at The Press Room in Portsmouth, NH USA -- in light of the Great Loo Switcheroo. Linn |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Jeri Date: 25 Nov 10 - 11:31 AM Oh dear, what can the matter be Ladies are using the gentlemen's lavat'ry The go through the door from Sunday to Saturday And everyone knew they went there Oh dear, what can the matter be Gentlemen using the ladies lavat'ry... One to go there, almost it was Jeri But she'd heard the news, and so she was wary But I'm sure she'll go in when she gets too merry And everyone knew she went there |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Charley Noble Date: 26 Nov 10 - 10:46 AM Linn- The Press Room crowd is renown for their great good taste in music and would never stoop to raise such a ditty. ;~)) Charley Noble |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: LadyJean Date: 27 Nov 10 - 02:05 AM In 1993, though I should have known better, I found myself on the committee for the International Costumer's Guild Convention, and composed the following: Oh dear what can the matter be 7 Costumers got locked in a lavatory. They were there from Tuesday 'til Saturday. Nobody knew they were there. The first costumer was Adelaide Fox Her costume was made out of unlaunered socks. She ran in when people began throwing rocks. Nobody knew she was there. The next costumer was Lorelai Inge She made a gown that was all over fringe Some of the stuff got caught on the hinge. Nobody knew she was there. The next costumer was Madeline Kay Her costume, 5 feathers, was made in one day. The hand dryer blew her ensemble away Nobody knew she was there. The next costumer was Animal X. (A real person and a friend.) She was dressed up as a hot pink T Rex. She got caught in the stall when her tail wouldn't flex Nobody knew she was there. (Doubtful, knowing the lady as I do.) The next costumer was a Catholic Lass She came in all for to miss mass A thief came in and he pinched her sequins. Nobody knew she was there. The next costumer was dressed as a snake. She looked real enough to make someone shake. A plumber came in, and he made a mistake. But nobody knew she was there. The last costumer was Larry J. Wurdle. He came in to try on a girdle. What happened next would make your blood curdle. But nobody knew he was there. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Lighter Date: 28 Nov 10 - 09:40 AM My impression, FWIW, is that the number of ladies was first increased to seven by Oscar Brand in his mid-1950s recording of the song. There seems to have been only three previously. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Jon Stone Date: 17 Apr 11 - 04:27 AM This tune pre-dates Lehrer by decades possibly generations. The only variation of it is the Eliz Humphrey verse which my uncle used to sing in 1947 almost a dcade b4 Lehrer "... ...... thought she was cumfy, but the seat had been varnished and she couldn't get her bum free." |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Dave Rado Date: 28 Jan 12 - 06:57 AM Does anyone know the origin of this parody? Wikipedia states that it's an American parody of a nursery rhyme: "O dear, what can the matter be?(x3), Johnny's so long at the fair"; and that the nursery rhyme dates back to at least 1780 - but the article says nothing about when the parody was actually written. As others have mentioned in this thread, in Britain it's always been sung as "Three old Ladies," (and Wikipedia does mention that it's been published in Britain as "Three Old Ladies", but again without giving dates); and given the obvious Englishness of some of the lyrics (such as "The Bishop of Chichester's daughter") I'm suspicious of Wikipedia's claim that it originated in the US. My hunch is that it originated in Britain with three old ladies and the other four ladies were added in the US subsequently. Can anyone throw any light on this? |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Dave Rado Date: 28 Jan 12 - 07:19 AM PS (to my previous post): TJ in San Diego - it definitely pre-dates Tom Lehrer, who never recorded it in any case. Jon Stone - the tune goes back to the 18th century, apparently. Lighter - interesting about Oscar Brand. If you can find a source to back up what you say, you should update the Wikipedia article. Funnily enough, Brand is also credited as the author of "Three Ladies" at All The Lyrics.com. But I believe it goes back to the 1930s at least because my mum says she sang it as a girl back then (unless she's misremembering). And I'm sure it must have started life in England and that Brand is unlikely to have written the first three verses. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Dave Rado Date: 28 Jan 12 - 07:37 AM PPS - Jim Carroll - I LOVE your "farter" verse! I'm going to sing it in place of the "nickel" verse. Also, the line on the DT lyrics that goes: "She sat herself down, and then found there was no paper" doesn't scan. I'm going to sing "She sat herself down, but there was no paper" instead. Odd that Oscar Brand would have written a verse that scans so badly! |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Lighter Date: 28 Jan 12 - 09:33 AM There's not much doubt that the original number was three, and that the song was originally English. Several writers of WWII memoirs mention singing the song in the early '40s. Ed Cray ("The Erotic Muse," 2nd ed., p. 121) quotes a (19th century?) morris verse collected by Alfred Williams, that seems to have inspired it: Oh, dear, what can the matter be? Three old women tied to an apple tree! One ran away, the others stopped till Saturday. Oh dear, what can the matter be? From Nat Green's column "The Crossroads," in the American show-biz paper "The Billboard" (Dec. 4, 1943), p. 37, datelined "Chicago": "They'll find heady corn at Old Heidelberg rathskeller, where Louie convulses 'em with his burly bullfight and Eleven Old Ladies Locked in the Lavatory." That would seem to beat Brand's version by by several years. But if it's the world's record you seek, try Australian Don Laycock's "The Best Bawdry"(p. 182), with a cast of no fewer than twenty-one old ladies. (Laycock admits to having enhanced some of the songs he prints.) BTW, what was your mum's version? |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: dick greenhaus Date: 29 Jan 12 - 12:59 AM Don'tknow who started it, but I learned iton the streets of Brooklyn ca 1943. It seemsto have been well-established by then. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Lighter Date: 29 Jan 12 - 02:17 PM Dick: with how many victims? (Ever thought of writing a paper on how you learned your songs?) ;) |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Dave Rado Date: 29 Jan 12 - 02:49 PM Hi Lighter This is what my uncle can remember of the version he and my mother learnt as children in the 1930s (my mother remembers even less of it): O dear what can the matter be Three old ladies locked in a lavatory They were there from Sunday to Saturday Nobody knew they were there They had all gone out to tea with the Vicar They went in together because it was quicker The lock of the door was a bit of a sticker Nobody knew they were there The first was called Elisabeth Porter She only went in to dispose of some water They sought her and sought her and sought her and sought her Nobody knew she was there The second was called Elisabeth Bender She only went in to adjust her suspender They... Nobody knew she was there Sorry for the missing line and no more verses! A lot of it quite different from the DT version. And I have heard the first two verses often enough sung in singsongs that I think DT should really add them. And I believe "three old ladies" is still the most common number of victims in the UK, even now. I still think you should update the Wikipedia article ... |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Alison Munich Date: 30 Jan 12 - 04:15 AM Some more verses from a Norfolk friend of mine: The first one to come in was old Mrs Porter Now she'd been doing something that she didn't oughter For she had been out with her unruly daughter And nobody knew she was there. The next one came in there was old Mrs Penny She thought a big flea was a-biting her fanny But when she got in she found ever so many And... And the last one to come in was old Mrs Whittam, She had some new pants and she thought that she'd split 'em But when she got in there she found that she ... hadn't And ... |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Lighter Date: 30 Jan 12 - 12:12 PM Thanks, Dave and Alison. If memory serves, the "polite" version with "nattering" ladies comes from an LP by Brit skiffler Bob Cort (around 1959) called "Eskimo Nell." The ribald songs - the top rugby and military faves - were all thoroughly laundered. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Tattie Bogle Date: 30 Jan 12 - 12:38 PM Another fartin' one, written I by the lady (a friend) named in the verse: The last one to come in was called Phyllis Martin, She pulled down her breeks and she then started fartin' The noise could be heard from Dumfries to Dumbarton So EVERYONE knew she was there. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST Date: 23 Feb 12 - 03:47 AM oh dear what can the matter be (x3) Johnnys so long at the fair, He promised to buy me some pretty blue ribbons (x3) to tie up my bonny brown hair. Oh dear what can the matter be (x3). |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Bert Date: 23 Feb 12 - 01:15 PM I can't believe I missed this thread. I have never heard two people sing it the same way. Here's the way I sing it. Seven Dear Old Ladies (Tune: Johnny's so long at the Fair) Oh, dear, what can the matter be Seven old ladies locked in the lavat'ry They were there from Sunday 'till Saturday Nobody knew they were there The first lady's name was Elizabeth Porter She was the Bishop of Winchester's daughter She went in to pass some superfluous water And nobody knew she was there The second lady's name was Harriette Humphrey She settled down and was ever so comfy She tried to get up but could not get her bum free And nobody knew she was there The third Lady's name it was Winifred Wicker She went in there in a race with the vicar She tried to get in but the vacar was quicker And nobody knew she was there The fourth lady's name it was Rowena Riddle She lifted her skirt for a quick little tiddle but she caught her heel it tore right up the middle And nobody knew she was there The fifth lady's name was Penelope Pender; She went there to adjust her suspender. but she got it caught up in her feminine gender And nobody knew she was there The sixth lady's name it was Clarabelle Carter She was renowned as a wonderful farter she played God Save the Queen and The Moonlight Sonata And nobody knew she was there The seventh lady's name it was Millicent Mason The closet was full so she used the hand basin And that is the water that I washed my face in And nobody knew she was there |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: MGM·Lion Date: 23 Feb 12 - 02:27 PM Yes, thank you, Guest. I think we all knew it was a parody of So Long At The Fair. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST Date: 17 Aug 14 - 05:18 PM The fourth one's name was Elizabeth Nissen, She went in'cause the cistern was hissin', But people who passed only thought she was pissin', And nobody knew she was there. The fifth one's name was Elizabeth Pumphrey, She went in to make herself comfy, But they varnished the seat and she couldn't get her bum free, And nobody knew she was ther |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Rahere Date: 18 Aug 14 - 05:00 AM I observe my understudy Roland le Peteur has acquired a following. Some people will do anything to get a raise. More to the point, the reference to the lavatory makes it unlikely to be much before the 1870s, at best. The references to prissy clergy daughters also make it likely to be a reaction to the Oxford Movement, so also of about that time. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: LadyJean Date: 19 Aug 14 - 12:59 AM My mom learned 3 old ladies from a friend of her mother's back in the 1930s. The lady in question said it was a British Navy song. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Lighter Date: 19 Aug 14 - 08:46 AM But which three was it? |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST,Rahere Date: 19 Aug 14 - 09:52 AM Atropos |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Lighter Date: 19 Aug 14 - 10:23 AM That's only one. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST Date: 19 Aug 14 - 04:28 PM OK, Chlothair and Lachesis too. Now you have invoked your Fate. |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: Lighter Date: 19 Aug 14 - 04:40 PM You must mean "Chlotho." She gets testy when her name is misspelled.... |
|
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ladies in the Lavatory... From: GUEST Date: 19 Aug 14 - 04:44 PM You would go for the virgin one... |
| Share Thread: |
