Subject: The Row Upon the Stairs
From:
Conrad Bladey (Peasant- Inactive)
Date: 30 Mar 00 - 10:31 AM
The Row Upon the Stairs
Tune= Uncle Sam Says Mistress Bell te Mistress Todd,
Ye'd better clean the stairs!
Ye've missed yor turn for monny a week,
The neybors a' did theirs!
Says Misteress Todd to Mistress Bell,
Aw tell ye Mistress Bell,
Ye'd better mind you awn affairs,
An' clean the stairs yor-sel Chorus:
O what tungs i' the row upon the stairs,
Clitterin, clatterin, scandal an' clash,
I' the row upon the stairs Says Mistress Todd- When it suits me to think that it's me turn;
Ye've a vast o' cheek te order me, thor's not a wummin born
That keeps a cleaner hoose than me an' mark ye, Mistress Bell,
Ef ye'd oney de the syem as me ye'd gan an' clean --yor sel! Says Mistress Bell- Ye clarty fah, we wasn't that stole the beef?
What de ye say? cries Msitress Todd, De ye mean that aw' m a thief?
Let's heh the sixpence that aw lent te treat Meg Smith wi' gin!
An where's the blanket that ye gat the last time ye lay in? Says Mistress Bell- Ye knaw yorfsel the sixpence's lang been paid,
An' the raggy blanket that ye lent wes ne use the ye said!
A raggy blanket! Mistress Bell cries Mistress Todd What cheek!
Yor dorty sockin had two holes full twice the size last week! Maw holey stockins, Misstress Todd luks beter i' the street
Than yor gud man's awd blucher beuts ye weer te hide yor feet!
The eer-rings ye gat frae the Jew on tick the tuthor day,
'Ill be like the fine manadge man's shawl the syem as gien away! Says Mistress Todd- Ye greet sk'yet gob
Ye'd bettor had yor jaw,
The varry shift upon yor back
Belongs the wife belaw!
Ye lazy wretch! shoots Mistress Bell,
Its true thor is ne doot,
Last neet ye fuddled wi' Bob the Snob,
The time yor man wes oot! Oh, Mistress Bell! says Mistress Todd,
Ye brazind-luckin slut,
Ye may tawk away--te clean the stairs
Aw'll nivor stir a fut!
Afore aw'd lift a skoorin cloot
The mucky stairs te clean,
Aw'd see them turn as black as ye,
Ye pawnshop-lucking queen! - Joe Wilson
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