BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.

Subject: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Barky
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 12:12 AM

Well, since there doesn't seem to be much action going on here recently, I decided to start a debate about a pressing subject in today's papers: Wax fruit. What is the purpose of such a valuless piece of.... well.... furniture?? In order to solve this question, I asked around my school to see what people thought. These were the responses I recieved *(see bottom of message for numbers of people interviewed):
100% of people interviewed stated that the wax fruit was for eating. The only comment I recieved was, "Duh, it's for eating! Not only does wax fruit taste good, but it's made of wax!"

So what do YOU, the people of the 'cat, think that wax fruit is for? Please, use your imagination. It's your most valuable asset!

~Barky

*People interviewed: 1 (guess who that was...... ME!!!!!!)

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Mbo
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 12:19 AM

Barky, you're a RIOT! Here's a song, if anyone wants to finish it! Yes, believe it or NOT--a BS SONG! What a concept!

Wax fruit, oh wax fruit
Just what is it for?
Wax fruit, oh wax fruit's
A terrible bore!
Oh Wax fruit is made of some wax from a hive
It's surely the stupidest fruit that's alive
Ask Mr.Darwin just why it survived
And who was the first at this concept arrived?


--Mbo

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: thosp
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 12:24 AM

ahhhh little one -DO NOT QUESTION just
----------wax ON wax OFF

peace (Y) thosp

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: lloyd64
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 12:24 AM

I wish I had my mothers wax fruit, long since gone. The apple had teeth marks in it. I'll never forget the tast. For years my mother put that apple on the top of the pile to remind me. I always turned it over because I did not want anyone to ask any questions.

Thanks for taking me back 50 years.

lloyd62 (lloyd61)

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Mbo
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 12:25 AM

Oh wax fruit, oh wax fruit
It tastes like a dream
And when I eat it
I can't help but scream
Oh wax fruit oh wax fruit
I'm drawn to your call
Although you're the same stuff as cho-lest-er-ol
You clog up my heart valves
Induce heart attack
But waxy red apples are my favorite snack!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: The Beanster
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 12:35 AM

I believe that wax fruit has not only an abundance of nutritional value when injested in large quantities, but also serves as a very functional, yet decorative doorstop, paperweight or deadly weapon when used against intruders illegally entering one's domicile.

Thank you for allowing me to participate in this survey, Dr. Barky.

Sincerely, The Beanster

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 01:03 AM

Beanster, I think you got it with the deadly weapon. Have you seen the bananas?And the plums are meant to choke.

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: The Beanster
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 01:10 AM

Hahahaa Ebbie! The bananas--oh, the bananas! Just to be safe, you'd probably have to put a banana (or the lethal plum) into the hand of the now unconscious intruder just so the police would think it was a fair fight. Self-defense, use of deadly force and all that...

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Barky
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 01:21 AM

Look! In the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane. No! IT'S SUPER WAX BANANA! Faster than a speeding apple, more powerful than a wax bunch of grapes, able to leap tall wax fruit trees in a single bound! IT'S SUPER WAX BANANA!!!!!

~Barky

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 01:46 AM

It's banana man!!

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Metchosin
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 01:51 AM

"Wax Fruit" was devised to protect our sensibilities from the fact that real world has worms and mould and that life is ephemeral.

Wax fruit
It never goes rotten
You can keep it forever
It's there to adore.
Sometimes you're tempted to eat it
But heaven forbid
It would spoil the decor.

To the tune of "Black Socks"

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 02:00 AM

Do you suppose it's biodegradable? Buried, it will probably last an eon. But I do know quite a few people who used to have it in their homes. Hey! I got it! Wax fruit is meant to be a firestarter! Tuck an apple or an orange in your pocket for your next camping trip.

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 02:28 AM

Sillies!!!

WAX FRUIT is what you eat when you are wearing your big ole, bright red, leering WAX LIPS!!!!

Cry-mi-neee!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Spider Tom
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 04:40 AM

For you, Mbo,
I wax, lyrical

Wax fruits are grown
On a tree with wax roots
With twirly wax branches
And a wax trunk, to boot
Like,body parts on a surgeonized, model
Not made to consume,
But made to look cute

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 07:19 AM

So who had a granny with wax fruit on her hat then?

I hvae a picture of my great grand mother wearing a hat with - yes, you guessed - wax cherries!! They were very shiny, delicious looking and family rumour has it that my brother tried to eat them. He was sick.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Mbo
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 08:29 AM

And who says BS has no place here! More verses to the song! Maybe we can get it into the Mudcat Songbook!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 08:38 AM

Must have confused hell outa' the Fruit Flies.

J.G. FME

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: MMario
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 09:13 AM

Wax fruit is to attract wax flies and wax ants.

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Barky
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 09:31 AM

Hey! I like it so far... much better than those kids at school who just... kinda.... look *head twitch* at me *head twitch* funny....

~Barky

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: MMario
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 09:36 AM

Of course, when the wax fruit begins to get a bit old, you can melt it down and make wax jelly to put on wax bread....

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 10:25 AM

Pity Catspaw is busy at present, looks like we may need a junior wing of the NYCFTTS. Wax fruit? Strange fruit, maybe,Loopy Froots definitely!
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Sorcha
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 10:38 AM

When it takes six weeks to paint a still life, the fruit doesn't rot!

Subject: RE: BS: Wax Fruit, purpose of.
From: Mbo
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 10:45 AM

We're not Loopy Fruits! We're just getting our kicks, and everyone knows that kicks are for kids (both chonologically AND psychologically!)

--Mbo