Lyr Add: Murderous Toy (parody of Marvelous Toy)

Subject: ADD Parody: Murderous Toy
From: canoer
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 04:34 PM

The Tom Paxton thread reminded me of this wonderful parody, by "Anonymous" as I got it.

THE MURDEROUS LITTLE TOY

When I was just a wee little lad, my Daddy gave to me
A toy he made down at the lab, it filled me full of glee
A wonder to behold it was, with many buttons bright
From the moment that I turned it on, it filled us all with fright

CHORUS:
It went ZAP when it fired and cursed when it missed
And WHIRR as it took aim,
It didn't know if we were friend or foe,
It attacked us just the same.

Curiosity killed the cat, the dog was next to go
The paraakeet beat a fast retreat as the walls began to glow
A turret turned, some bullets fired, the TV was no more
My friends you should have seen it when the napalm hit the door.
CHORUS

It broke the windows down the hall, and then I heard it laugh
I must admit I chuckled as it cut my brother in half
My sister made it to the stairs, then it caught her in the pants
My daddy had the shotgun out, but he didn't stand a chance
CHORUS

It lobbed two mortars down the hall, and when the smoke had cleared
I looked around for my murderous toy, but it had disappeared
I watched it leave through watered eyes -- the tear gas smelled so sweet
Things didn't look good for the neighborhood as it ambled down the street
CHORUS

That was the last I ever saw of my murderous little toy
They say it's dead but I hope it's not, 'cause it filled me full of joy
They say it reached the Bering Straits and crossed the icy floes
The Russian Army ain't killed it yet, but it keeps them on their toes
CHORUS

The years have gone by too quickly now, and I have my own little boy
And just last night I told him of my murderous little toy
His face took on a crafty look, I could almost read his mind
My son has grown up like his dad, 'cause he wants one just like mine
CHORUS

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Murderous Toy
From: Wesley S
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 04:51 PM

Canoer - You have won a place in my heart with this touching , sensitive rendition. I play Santa Clause to some kids at a local mission every year { if the suit fits - wear it }. I wonder what they would think if Santa whipped out an old Martin and sprung this one on them.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Murderous Toy
From: canoer
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 05:53 PM

WesSanta -- you know, I bet some of the boys' opinions of Santa would dramatically improve.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Murderous Toy
From: Gypsy
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 06:06 PM

Ah! Wonderful parody..of? Would love to do this, doya have the tune, perchance? would appreciate it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Murderous Toy
From: ddw
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 07:04 PM

Gypsy, it's a parody of Tom Paxton's The Marvelous Toy, which is in the DT. Don't know if it has a sound file with it, but you could check. I know the original and the parody scans beautifully to the tune.

Failing that, I know the TP tune was printed in Sing Out Magazine back in the '60s and in one of their song reprints. Sorry, don't know which of his albums it was on or who covered it, tho' I'm sure a couple of groups did — maybe the Chad Mitchell Trio or PP&M.

david

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Murderous Toy
From: ddw
Date: 04 Apr 00 - 07:08 PM

Just checked, Gypsy. Marvelous Toy does have sound, so you could get the tune.

Subject: Add Version: Murderous Little Toy
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Sep 09 - 12:56 AM

Here's a slightly different version:

The Murderous Little Toy
       Words: Mike Roberts
       Music: The Marvelous Little Toy: Tom Paxton

When I was just a wee little lad, my Daddy brought to me
A toy he made down at the lab; it filled me full of glee!
A wonder to behold it was, with many buttons bright.
From the moment that I turned it on, it filled us all with fright.

Chorus: It went ZAP! when it fired; it cursed when it missed,
       And whirred as it took aim.
       It didn't know if we were friend or foe:
       It attacked us just the same.

Curiosity killed the cat, and the dog was next to go.
The parakeet beat a fast retreat, as the wall began to glow.
A turret turned, some bullets fired, and the TV was no more.
My friends, you should have seen it as the napalm hit the floor.

   Chorus

It broke each window down the hall, and then I heard it laugh.
I must admit, I chuckled when it cut my brother in half.
My sister made it to the stairs, when it caught her in the pants.
My daddy had the shotgun out but he never stood a chance.

   Chorus

It fired two mortars at the wall, and when the smoke had cleared,
I looked all around for my murderous toy, but it had disappeared!
Then I saw it leave through watered eyes; the tear-gas smelled so sweet.
Things weren't too good for the neighborhood, as it ambled down the street.

   Chorus

Well that's the last that ever saw of my murderous little toy.
It might be dead but I hope it's not, `cause it filled me full of joy.
They say it reached the Bearing Strait, and crossed the icy flows.
The Russian Army ain't killed it yet, but it keeps them on their toes.

   Chorus

Well, the years have gone too quickly now, and I've my own little boy,
And just last night I told him `bout my murderous little toy.
I recognized his crafty look, I could almost read his mind.
My son has grown up like his dad, `cause he wants one just like mine.

   Chorus


Source: http://web.archive.org/web/20001030001215/http://minyos.its.rmit.edu.au/~rchrw/toy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Murderous Toy (parody of Marvelous Toy)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 08 Dec 13 - 03:35 AM

I'm looking for something unusual to sing when I go caroling at nursing homes with the church choir this week, and I ended up here....

Guess I'd better not, huh?

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Murderous Toy (parody of Marvelous Toy)
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Dec 13 - 11:44 AM

Who do you think designed the thing in the first place? His Dad's generation are now in those homes...