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Thought for the Day - April 10

GUEST,Peter T. 10 Apr 00 - 09:14 AM
katlaughing 10 Apr 00 - 09:20 AM
Hyperabid 10 Apr 00 - 10:03 AM
tar_heel 10 Apr 00 - 10:48 AM
Little Neophyte 10 Apr 00 - 02:32 PM
GUEST,Neil Lowe 10 Apr 00 - 02:34 PM
katlaughing 10 Apr 00 - 02:38 PM
Amos 10 Apr 00 - 03:11 PM
Little Neophyte 10 Apr 00 - 05:24 PM
McGrath of Harlow 10 Apr 00 - 06:05 PM
Hyperabid 11 Apr 00 - 11:24 AM
Amos 11 Apr 00 - 11:50 AM
katlaughing 11 Apr 00 - 02:02 PM
Little Neophyte 11 Apr 00 - 02:38 PM
Mary in Kentucky 11 Apr 00 - 03:19 PM
Hyperabid 12 Apr 00 - 05:11 AM
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Subject: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: GUEST,Peter T.
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 09:14 AM

"Whoever has passed an evening with serious, melancholy people and has observed how suddenly the conversation was animated and what sprightliness diffused itself over the countenance, discourse, and behaviour of everyone upon the arrival of a good humoured lively companion, such a one will easily allow that cheerfulness carries great merit with it, and naturally conciliates the goodwill of humankind. No quality, indeed, more readily communicates itself to all around, because no one has a greater propensity to display itself in jovial talk and pleasant entertaiment. That the melancholy hate the merry, even though Horace says it, I have some difficulty to allow, because I have always observed that, where the jollity is moderate and decent, serious people are so much the more delighted, as it dissipates the gloom with which they are commonly oppressed and gives them an unusual enjoyment."
-David Hume, An Inquiry Concerning the Principle of Morals


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 09:20 AM

I would say the robins I heard at the crack of dawn this morning certanly dispelled the dislike at being awake since 4am, though they would probably be a little over the top to fit the "jollity is moderate and decent" category. Happy, happy birds, singing in a riotous abandon of joy and busyness....no melancholia can survive among them.

Thanks, Peter,

katlaughing


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: Hyperabid
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 10:03 AM

I'm not sure I've got the hang of these threads yet... But I think I've got a personal observation that may be relevant.

When you have argued with someone close to you, sometimes it is hard to restart the communication. Particularly if one or other party is in a "sulk". Whatever you try and say is answered tersely, non-comitally or sometimes just dismissed out of hand because the other party doesn't want to stop being angry with you / see reason / move on etc.

In line with thought for the day I will offer up a useful thing I have learned only recently, but has proved such a boon for lightening the load and getting problems out of the way.

I share with some of my friends the common habit of reading to each other for entertainment rather than getting stuck into the telly or whatever. (I am not several hundred years old - we just find it relaxing).

Recently a disagreement about who sleeps on which side of the bed - (you know earth shattering - life changing stuff) - led to the worst kind of sulk. The kind where you partner is - "not angry" - "just tired" - "let's just go to sleep" - you know the sort where a six foot wall of ice and thorns can build but they can still shout loud enough through it to tell you "nothing's wrong".

I'd already tried reason - humour - pleading - logic - behavioural examination - my own sulk (twice) - cups of tea - you get the picture...

So I went downstairs - smoked a cigarette - selected a good novel - returned upstairs and began...

"Chapter 1..."

Half way through chapter two we were sipping tea and thinking about what kind of day trip we might like to do that day. Half way through chapter 3 the issues were out in the open...

Even a one-sided conversation can sometimes open a door.

Hyp.


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: tar_heel
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 10:48 AM

they that wait upon he lord shall renew their strenghth. they shall rise up with wings ,as eagles. they shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not faint!!! i just wish the psalmist had added, "and when they stump thier toe,they shall feel no pain!!!!


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 02:32 PM

Cheerfulness and good humor has to be the best medicine, especially for a room full of melancholy people.
Why, I think it is the citizen's duty of the cheerful person to offer goodwill & humor to the serious folks whose light may have gone dim.

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: GUEST,Neil Lowe
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 02:34 PM

I like your suggestion, Hyperabid. Think I will try it next time.

Regards, Neil


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 02:38 PM

LilNeo, that reminds me of the beautiful old spiritual Art Thieme does on his CD, The Older I Get, The Better I Was, "Is Your Lamps Gone Out".

You DO light up a thread! *smile*


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: Amos
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 03:11 PM

It is a natural impulse for those of good cheer to seek to lift up those in darker moods. There is an art to it, though -- unbridled enthusiasm does wonders amongst the merely cautious or conservative, but doesn't sit well with the bitter, the grief-stricken, the angry or the terrified. For them you have to offer hope in smaller, bite-size pieces, dampened down to an acceptable consistency, even slightly cautious for some, in order for the communication to penetrate the shields of anger, fear or grief. It's an art form which is learned by the compassionate and the genuinely helpful people in the world, I have observed. Makes them worth their weight in gold.


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 05:24 PM

Good point Amos, nothing like a 'good ear' for the bitter, grief stricken and angry.
Sometimes I think the terrified could use a good stiff drink.

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Apr 00 - 06:05 PM

If "cheerful" means that someone is both happy and interested in people around them, what David Hume wrote is quite right.

But "cheerful" can mean something very different. It can mean a sort of mechanical bluff jokeyness, which has nothing to do with being a happy person, or with being interested in other people, except as audience or butts.

As a performance, that can be quite entertaining for a while. But in real life it can be very difficulty to take for long. It's worth noting that many comedians aren't too easy to get on with, and are sometimes very unhappy people.


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: Hyperabid
Date: 11 Apr 00 - 11:24 AM

Neil

Hope it works for you too.

Kind Regards

Hyp


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: Amos
Date: 11 Apr 00 - 11:50 AM

McGrath --

I would offer the notion that there are two or maybe even three different emotional bands going on at the same time in an individual. The outside level is the social machinery the person has learned to put out -- its automatic, trained. It's where someone says "Fine" from when you ask them how they are, when they're really miserable.

The composite emotional experience of a human being as it is actually being felt, which is often heavily suppressed by those who "live in their heads" or are called "phony" is another and often widely disparate emotional level. A socially cheerful person who is actually terrified creates the kind of dissonance you describe, which grates badly on a sensitive observer because the two are so inconsistent.

I suppose theremay even be a third -- a spiritual emotional level independent of human/body mechanisms. But that is probably a matter of personal philosophy, eh?

Warm regards, and thanks for the wonderful songs,

Amos


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Apr 00 - 02:02 PM

Hyperabid and Neil,

Making up a nonsensical song can help, too. Sometimes if we go to bed and I know Rog is tired, depressed, or we've argued, I will try to lighten things up a bit by making up a funny song, often from the perspective of one of our pets; they're such great humourists, ya know? It always gets a chuckle out of him, a hug, and a better night of sleep. And, one of these days, my dog and the cats think they may even get a real gig!*BG*


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 11 Apr 00 - 02:38 PM

Whatever happened to the good old fashion pillow fight?
All you need is one squirt gun to shift the mood.
(and slippers with good sole grip for a fast getaway)

Little Neo


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 11 Apr 00 - 03:19 PM

Hello Hyberabid--what you said about reading aloud reminded me of "The Read Aloud Handbook" (or some such title). Anyway, when my children were small I read to them every night until they started school, and then, dumb me, I thought they would get all the reading they needed at school. What a mistake. All kids love to be read to even after they learn to read themselves. The book I mentioned above has lists of great read aloud material for all ages. It's a great help to parents who don't have access to all the latest children's book lists. I think it recommends appropriate read aloud books up to 15 yrs old.

And Chuck--I think that particular quote is from Isaiah 40. I know because I asked that it be read at my father's funeral. He lost a leg in an accident 5 years before he died. I'm not sure where the "Eagles's Wings" quote is in Psalms, but you might be interested in this song that my daughter chose to use at her wedding. It was hard to find on the 'net because of copyright stuff, but if you want the words I could probably find them.

Mary


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Subject: RE: Thought for the Day - April 10
From: Hyperabid
Date: 12 Apr 00 - 05:11 AM

kat

Thanks for the reminder of something else me and my nutty girl share although this one might be a little harder to understand - we make up silly songs to the tune advertising jingles often trying to be as crude about the other as possible - it's a way of passing car journeys when the radio's bad... often this leaves us "in fits".

How it started - I don't know - why we do it - I don't know... But it's usually quite funny...

Hyp


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