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Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 29 Apr 00 - 06:38 PM Billy's pear-shaped head was throbbing like a Gopterian Starfish in heat, and he was experiencing a pricking sensation all over his body, which might have been enjoyable had he recently experienced a Fuggerfruit cocktail instead of an ass-kicking from a Neezian Asteroid. He vaguely remembered the impact of the huge rock, and a simultaneous implosion of the ship's bulkheads. He had the momentary remembrance of a slew of lingerie models spinning in the air, like some kind of Titzenass kaleidoscope. Billy was covered in bandages from head to toe, including his schleeber, which resembled the mummy of some sacred departed cobra. There was a melodic sound in the air, and he located its source in a chair next to his bed. He was slightly taken aback by this rather attractive female who,the breast on her head wobbling from side to side, seemed to be tickling him with some sort of appendage. The Trid opened his mouth, but nothing escaped his three lips but a slight wheeze. The breast-headed nymph paused in her poking and leaned forward toward him. "He's awake!" she called, and then to him she said "Did you say something Captain?" At last he mustered his strength and groaned " where in the hell on this fugging rust-bucket can you get a goddam DRINK!" As the single word "DRINK" ricocheted off the walls of the Enterprise, a figure appeared in the doorway as if summoned by this clarion call. The Trid's blurry vision gradually resolved itself to reveal a figure stumbling into the ward carrying a half-empty pitcher of Frozen Gargleblasters. "Oh shit," moaned the Trid. It was Catspaw. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Peter T. Date: 29 Apr 00 - 06:22 PM The Green Man looked a little pale, which was hardly a surprise, as he had been locked up and encircled with a voice and motion paralyser for hours. He had been lured, like Mandy, by the false voiced Songstealers, and they had whined around him as he turned the corridor into 8 Aft. Their voices, like the Mandragorian snake singers, caught him with his defences down. They weren't very bright, Songstealers (not like Songdealers), but they moved fast and viciously, like the trained hounds they were. Boukey had just enough time to protect his memories of Sharazade before darkness engulfed him. When he woke, with the voices whispering about him, he could feel the shift in the ship's trajectory. For a moment he began to think an important thought, and then balked, remembering how they operated. He backed off, thought of something else, emptied his mind. He turned his attention to obvious thoughts: THEY WERE HOLDING HIM BECAUSE HE KNOW HOW TO GET THROUGH THE ASTEROID BELT. BUT DO YOU WANT ME TO HELP GET THE SHIP THROUGH OR DON'T YOU? I THOUGHT YOU DID? I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF TERN? The voices whispered, began whining, then broke into multiple low howls. Then he could feel their mind vacuities letting go. They were slipping away -- where? To find the Songdealer, perhaps? His bonds were as tight as ever. He suddenly remembered Mandy. Had they got to her also? Silence. He could not reach down to check on his fieldbook, but he was sure it was still there in the body pouch. He decided it was safe to check and see what was missing in his mind. Within seconds, he realized that all his own Earthsong repertoire had been lost, including the Pleiades fragments, the Cygnus ballads, and virtually all the holy songs. There were sickening signs of replacements: he now knew the entire back catalogue of 135,000 Disney videos, including The Little Mermaid's Granddaughter Meets Aladdin's 2nd Cousin (with its excruciating theme music by Elton John and Xeebleblort XI). His only hope was that most of them were still retrievable because of the time spent with Sharazade singing and comparing in the interlude after Polgar and during the tribal uprising. But he dared not go there for those memories -- yet, anyway -- as long as the Songstealers had a trace on his mind. He would have to improvise. If he had the constellation chart....and then he remembered that he had left it in his room. And then he remembered what the Terran had told him about the Asteroid Belt!!!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 29 Apr 00 - 01:51 PM (Rolling on the deck laughing his ass off at Mandy's madcappery,) The Terran checked on the last of the Lingerie Models, who was as fine as the rest of them -- her skin had been badly stretched by the 15 milliseconds of vacuum exposue that had threatened to snuff the whole population of the unworthy Trid's caravan, but the transport beam, manned at top speend by Lieutenant Mbo, had managed to frame them and carry them over before serious systeic danage had occurred. Course they all looked a little funny with their skins stretched out like that, and it would never reform completely. Maybe they could get jobs clerking for the Lomaxion center....he made a mental note to check with his father if he ever made landfall on Tern again. He looked fondly at the madcap Mandolian maiden who was making Trid hold the chamber pot upside down while she beat Mandolian tatoos on it in fast sharp sixteenth notes, while yowling a song from the indigenous natives who had dwelt in the highlands in the dark central regions of her long-lost planet. He smiled at her and made his way to the bridge. "Officer Ovakine, you are fortunate indeed to have missed complete catastrophe by a few seconds. Your men are to be commended on the speed with which they deployed the transport beam to rescue those nutty models and that wretched Trid. He's no danger now, but if I were you I would keep an eye on him if he ever recoveres his powers. I would like you to request a meeting for me wityh the Captain. If Commander Barky is not available, Commander Caitrin will do. We must not continue on our previous course. I think the reasons are obvious. I cannot imagine why we were even on it -- there has been no activity of any note in the Crab Bottom region, nothing to draw any attention or reward anyone for penetrating it....just nothing!!! Why are we even risking as much as we already have?" |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: JenEllen Date: 29 Apr 00 - 04:01 AM In true Mandoliatarian fashion, Mandy sat at the foot of Trid's hospital bed with one of the lingerie model's bullet bras on her head, and she was alternately singing and poking Trid with sharp sticks. The ships doctor had said that Trid had suffered from a severe head injury and needed to be kept awake for at least 8 hours. The sock puppet soap opera had been extinguished when Trid's socks decided to take themselves for a walk arou the ship, and Mandy was reduced to plain old fashioned torture. The handsome Terran was, of course, making sure that the lingerie models had not been harmed. Mandy thought she'd sing him a song she learned as lunar summer camp.....
Talk a little Terran to me darlin' Mandy cackled with the sheer delight of innocent torture. She balanced the chamberpot on Trid's head, clicked her heels and gave a salute. "10 o'clock and all is well, Captain!!!!" |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: wysiwyg Date: 28 Apr 00 - 11:24 PM Fortunately, due to the sacramental power of Kickapoo Elixir, loosed by providence throughout the decks, immediate resurrection occurred.... and all that remained of the near-tragedy was the lingering aroma of spice magically permeating local space and time... The Enterprise Red Cross unit's trained caregivers provided humanitarian aid to assist the recovery process of the participants, who were left laughing uproariously.... To come to the aid of Trid in true humanitarian fashion, and.... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 28 Apr 00 - 04:13 PM Commander Trey Ovakine, his naturally wrinkled and folded brow smoothed almost flat by the stress, was pondering whether or not he should raise an alarm to the skipper when the autodetectors went off in a level four alert -- imminent collission with solid object. The shields went up and the retrofield kicked in, bringing the Enterprise to a relative instantaneous halt in space; the interior of the vessel, seeking to follow the laws of momentum and inertia, sought vainly to continue in the previous line of flight. But most spaces were designed for occasional random motion of this sort, and the only casualties of the sudden stop were a few hundred credits' worth of beer, skog, vilium, Antrean Blue Terror, Arcturan Kickapoo Elixir, and other rare intoxicants from every known corner of the Galaxy. All these precious commodities quickly found their way to the deck at the forward end of the saloon compartment, where they collided, broke, spilled and otherwise misbehaved much to their temporary owners' despair; they vented their feelings loudly, after recovering their own proper places at various tables and stools from the same deck, where they had rather unexpectedly found themselves. All seemed well, if motionless, for a moment. Then the first greeting from the Neezian asteroid belt made itself with a thundering, echoing crash which shook the entire vessel to its keel. Although the hastily raised shields deflected the amorous 500 kiloton asteroid from joining its lkife forever with that of the Enterprise, the impact was enough to still every living creature on board, including the singing man-eating plant. Its passionate embrace foiled, the gigantic asteroid careened wildy off the port flank of the Enterprise directly toward the center of a shimmering spot in space which was all that could be seen of the still-masked pirate vessel following closely behind the Enterprise. Trid had meant to replace the burned out auto-detection boards on his primary and secondary ship intelligence circuits, but had spent the money instead on new bullet-bras for a couple of the Lingerie Models. The asteroid contacted Trid's vessel directly aft of the bridge on the port side, with awful consequences... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 27 Apr 00 - 01:25 PM "Bridge, over..." "Put the Captain on!!!" "Captain's off the bridge...this is Commander Trey Ovakine, holding conn. What can I do for you?" "My eyeball estimations tell me you're approaching the worst asteroid belt in the whole Galactic records index. It is know to also have a lethal and near-lethal series of space-dust clouds moving behind it on recurring orbits. Noone has ever figured out why. Let the skipper know you guys are in serious danger if you go any further on this track." The Terran canceled the intercom connect on his pin and sighed tiredly. |
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Subject: RE: RELAY FROM REMOTE MEMBER... From: Amos Date: 27 Apr 00 - 12:08 AM Shuttle to bridge. We are bringing the Wygelian Leaders aboard."
"Bridge to shuttle command. This is the captain. What is their culture of origin?"
"Shuttle to bridge. Captain, they won't say. Apparently their only cultural identifier is with a strange pink bush."
"Bridge to shuttle command. What seems to be their game?"
"Shuttle to bridge. Captain, all I an tell you is that they sure know how to tell a good joke. And I am not sure why, but the shuttle crew all seem to be getting much smarter and wiser."
"Bridge to shuttle command.... Better bring them aboard, commander. We need this kind of influence."
"Shuttle to bridge. Approaching for landing, Captain, aye."
"Bridge to shuttle bay four. This is the captain. Shuttle 5968 is cleared to land."
"Cleared to land, aye, Captain." |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 26 Apr 00 - 05:04 AM Ah don' wanna worry ye Cap'n, but the Number One hold is full of Tribbles playing tiples.... RtS |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: GUEST,JenEllen Date: 25 Apr 00 - 08:34 PM Mandy awoke with a crick in her back and a note by her arm. "21.00, huh?" she thought as she massaged her neck. It was nearly that now. She glanced over to see the Terran looking out of the tavern view-pot. He looked exhausted. She saw him sigh and wondered if he knew as well as she did that there was a thinly cloaked pirate vessel lurking in the blackness. Trid more than likely, he always seemed to make an appearance at the worst moments. He reminded her of going hiking in Mandola as a child. The Freeble snakes never seemed to come out of the grasses until you went to relieve yourself and had your skirt hiked up. Trid was the same way, slimy, and liable to catch you with your guard down and your kit up. When she reached Ten Forward, Captain Caitrin showed her the recently decoded message sent from Engineering. She wasn't entirely sure what she could do to help. Her federation spying days were far behind her. In fact, the only people who knew exactly what she was capable of were the Ice Giant, Trid, and now the Terran. She told the Captain that she had a few leads, but in all fairness she needed more time to assess the situation. The Captain allowed her to continue, so long as she made sure to inform her if anything else should happen. The Green Man seemed to have disappeared, gone as silently as he had come. She had stopped by his rooms on the way back from Ten Forward and had been greeted by stony silence. "Serves me right," she thought to herself, "I'm only 6 hours late!" On further investigation of the room, and it was investigation now-not spying, she noticed a small notebook on the bedside table. She sat on the edge of the bed and began reading. This journal read like a treasure map, full of clues to a secret collection of music! At first Mandy dismissed the scribblings as fairy tale, but while looking over the chicken-scratch of the charts, she glanced up. The markings on the chart were nearly identical to the constellations she was seeing out of the stateroom viewport! When she heard the voices in the hallway, she quickly stuffed the papers back where she had found them. She grabbed a glass of water and pretended to tend to the plants in the room... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Caitrin Date: 25 Apr 00 - 07:32 PM "Dammit!", Caitrin thought as she read the missive from Braxton. "Those self-styled "Guardians of History" are on my trail already. Paradox, schmaradox. Obviously, if you went back and changed it, you already did. All that "go back and shoot yer great-great-granpaw" stuff is BS, and everyone knows it. Except the blasted "Temporal Police." Don't they realize that our future might not happen if the Songstealers win here? Hopefully Mandy will be able to help me get this mess under control before the TPs get to me. I'm just ready to get off this ship and back my own. The Ups and Downs is probably not falling apart without me, but I still miss her." Caitrin sighed. "If only I knew for certain who the Songstealers on the Enterprise are. I have my suspicions...but it's just not enough." |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Mbo Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:21 PM Wait, is the Song Snatcher any relation to the Chord Waster? Lt.Mbo, after his adventure with his Wurlitzer, went back to his lonely Engineering station. Commander LaFarge had put him on a secret duty...to search and intercept possible communiques from unidentified bogeys. For the task, he had been supplied with some of the elusive Section 31's best code cracking programs..even the super-secret Pi Fractal Decoder. The little red light on his console began to blink...casting eerie shadows on his face in the darkened Engineering deck...an incoming message! But from whom...oooh this one was extra coded, mind-bogglingly so....but he put the PFD to work on it. And so he waited. And waited. And waited. Finally the screen showed 'successfully decoded.' He read it like a greedy child stooping over a bowl of food. "To Captain Caitrin, from Captain Braxton, of the Time Ship Relativity. You are being pursued by the Temporal Police...you must deliver all collected information to us before we initiate the chroniton slipstream and return to the 26th Century. We will await your report. P.S. watch out for Barry Manilow...a suspected offended of the Temporal Prime Directive. Good luck!"..... --Lt.Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:16 PM The Terran found a secure corner out of sight, tapped his pin and relayed an update to Cornucopia. From the viewpot he could see constellations which were familiar to him from childhood, although distorted by a different angle of view. He knew they were penetrating the Crab Bottom and could only pray that Captain Barky would consider the safety of the vessel before daring the highly risky course of action -- dodging the vicious masses of the asteroid belt, and putting his whole crew through an intense high-rem belt of unknown proportions were serious issues. He sighed, thinking of the lovely Mandolan and her double-rows of eyelashes closing in gentle rest at the tavern table. Sighed again, worrying about his people and their precious treasure of ancient songs and the unknown risk carried on the fast moving Enterprise of a hidden songstealer. Sigh. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Caitrin Date: 25 Apr 00 - 05:38 PM When Mandy awoke, she found a note on the table by her bed. I understand you had a run in with one of the Songstealers. There are more. I have spotted at least one. Meet with me in Ten Forward at 21:00. It's important to the welfare of the ship and the mission. Captain Caitrin, Mudcat Time Corps |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: GUEST,JenEllen Date: 25 Apr 00 - 05:20 PM *Yeah Amos, I'll have to agree with Leej on this one. Would you feel better knowing your life was entirely spent in the same safe rut, or that a part of it was spent dancing across the universe?* "It'll have to be something stronger than lemonade, I think." Mandy replied as she took the Terran's arm. "That Songstealer was awfully close." The two of them reached the tavern, and Mandy steered the Terran towards one of the booths in the back. The guys from Engineering were giving her a bit of the 'wink-wink, nudge-nudge', but she silenced them with a single glance. As they sat, Mandy told the Terran about the mission the Enterprise was on. She solemnly recounted the conversation she'd had with the Admiral, and told him that they were headed for the Crab Nebula at the request of the Green Man. The Terran measured every word the Mandolan spoke. His attentions seemed to draw the story from her. Of course, it was all speculation as of yet, but she told him of how she believed the Green Man to be a SongCatcher. One of the travellers. He must be on this ship for a reason, or else the Songstealers wouldn't be here, right? She had yet to meet with this SongCatcher, the circumstances surrounding the morning had prevented that. She told the Terran of her friend, Farkin. They had gone through ship-board orientation together on a small moon of Polaris, and had remained friends ever since. The language of the Ice Giants was very similar to the creaking and groaning language that the trees spoke in the Forest of Fret on Mandola, and Mandy loved listening to him. The two made a laughable pair, the hulking Ice Giant and the Mandolan maiden, but their steady friendship put them at ease with each other. The Terran listened still to the Mandolan. She was beginning to tire, and sat with her head cradled in her hands. She told him of the prospect of getting the Green Man and Farkin together, but it wouldn't be safe if there were more Songstealers aboard. Wurlitzer or no, the threat would put them all in danger. She sighed lightly, with her head in her hands, closed her double row of eyelashes, and slept. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 25 Apr 00 - 04:27 PM Just enjoy yourself, Amos. Life's too short to be paying attention to the critics. You're far better off doing this than whatever your employers are paying you to do. :>) |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 25 Apr 00 - 04:09 PM It's working, Moon. But I have to earn a living too. Tell me that isn't logical!:>) But thank you for the stern attention -- I will take it to heart. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 25 Apr 00 - 03:47 PM Stuj ingore the dodgamn yptos! |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 25 Apr 00 - 03:42 PM "Jeees, Mandy, thanks! I couldn't held out for another verse!! I really hate that song, y'know!" he gasped hoarsely. "You okay???". The Terran tapped his com pin for Lt Mbo and asked him to come aft to the seedling nursery with a high-powered portable Wurlitzer ray loaded with Patti Page Patterns and Disco Duck grapeshot. He had seen the depths of evil in the Song Snatcher's heart and knew there was only one way to handle the son of a bitch. The large plastiglass device was self-powered and he strapped onto his back over a sonic-proof tunic in case the plant was still alive and singing Manilow songs. He knew what he had to do and he set the pitch and volume controls so that the Patti Page patterns overlaid with DiscoDuck buckshot bursts would do maximum damage. He threw the door to the Man Eating Plant compartment open suddenly and rolled under the potential line of fire in a single well-trained movement, ending back on his feet with the Wurlitzer ray squealing at its most lethal. The plant, stunned, withdrew in a defensive huddle into itself, silenced by the shock. The black creature whirled, raising its lethal song-sucker device straight toward the Terran. For one brief, terrible moment it looked as though the terrans singing soul was going to be ripped out of his very body; then the monster slowed, its bottomless, frozen eyes widening, and it dropped its weapon, clamping its huge frozen hands to its lifeless head and emitting a counterfrequency wail of absolute terror and damnation, as thoguh every stolen song it had ever soaked up was being torn out of its throat in a single stroke of mighty retribution. The monster's scream made the terrans heart threaten to seize up in its tracks, but he held his position and played the Wurlitzer ray right between the dark monster's eyes. The evil thing folded before him, tumbling to the floor like a huge weighty back of frozen slush, quivered and whimpered briefly and then with a mighty inverted mixylodian croak, lay still. The walls resonated with the echoes of that last death rattle, and it took on a harmonious overtone as though every song in the world was sorting itself into a vast mutual harmony. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: GUEST,JenEllen Date: 25 Apr 00 - 03:02 PM Mandy ran sobbing from the nursery. The Terran was standing ram-rod straight, staring at the ceiling, and feeding the creature endless lounge songs. The creature had an almost canine quality to it in that when the Terran would hit a particular note or bit of phrasing, the creatures head would cock to the side and it would move forward with obvious interest. It would come within inches of the Terran and then shrink back in revulsion. Mandy heard the Terran's voice begin to break, and she knew there wasn't much time. There were only two that would be of any service now, Farkin and the Green Man, but they were decks away from the nursery, there wasn't a second to spare. Desperate mental pleas for help was the best she could do.
A thought came to her in that instant. She crept back into the nursery, moving to the back door, all the while watching the strange dance between the creature and the Terran. She opened the door to the room of the man-eating plant from Frodis, and walked inside. With that...the plant began to sing... The Frodis was forever singing Barry Manilow songs and the captain had graciously provided it with a sound proof room, much to Mandy's delight. The endless hours of Copacabana and I Write the Songs nearly sent her to the Psych. Ward..... She slid along the wall and pushed the door open just a touch. The creature heard the plant and spun, stalking into the room. obviously fascinated by the singing plant before it. With it's interest diverted, the Terran fell to the floor in exhaustion. The room would by no means hold the creature, but it might buy them some time. Mandy closed the door to the Frodis room, and silence reigned again in the nursery. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 25 Apr 00 - 02:51 PM "Their Dead Captain, hey?" The Trid inspected the body of the deceased Enterprise Commander."I like the uniform. It's hard to find anything with epaulets in my size. I can always cut a hole in the back for my other arm. And look! They strapped a Mudcat Ceremonial Mandolin to his belt. I'll add that to my collection of ancient Earth instruments." Billy removed the items."Now drag him to the kitchen and blow him out the trash chute, Cartoosh." The Trid inspected the mandolin. Most of the ceremonial instruments were re-creations, fabricated of Reso-resin, a material nearly identical to wood. But this was different; it was made of real wood, rosewood if his guess was right. The Mudcat insignia inlaid on the pick-guard seemed to be made of organic material. The Trid had only heard stories of it, but it appeared to be Mother-of-Pearl, stuff that was composed of the armor of sea creatures from the oceans of the Earth. He strummed it, and the instrument spoke to him. It spoke of the dim past, of green mountain ridges cloaked in mist, of rain pattering on green leaves, of tall pine trees creaking and sighing in wind. He strummed again, and it spoke of great stones warm in the heat of a single sun, Old Sol of the Terran system. It spoke of the Terran moon, not as a dead lump of captive rock, but as a being filled with magic and possibility. Slowly, a tune began to appear from his casual fingerings, a tune that it seemed the Trid had heard before, long before. It seemed that it had had a name, but he could not recall it, and so he dubbed it Terran Moon. At last, he put down the mandolin. "Captain," said Cartoosh,"we have entered the region of Neezy, in the Crab Bottom, as they call it. The Enterprise is still targeted for a landing at Tern." Billy considered for a moment, then said "Before we reach Tern's outer atmosphere, put the StarShagger in orbit mode. We had better watch what they are doing from a distance until I know what their motives are." |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Biskit Date: 25 Apr 00 - 12:46 PM Captain Biskit of the star freighter NONCONFORMIST, saunters in to the tavern, he had found one of those wooden instuments with the obvious female form and was studying it intently suddenly it all seemed to make sense at what he asumed to be the top it said OVATION, he put the gently rounded back against his gently rounded belly and began: I ride an old pony, I lead an old Dan I'm goin' to Montana for to throw the hoolahan they feed in the coolies they water in the draw, they're tails are all matted their back are all raw ride aroun' ride a roun' real slow for the fiery and the snuffy they/re arairin' to go. Old Bill Brown hada daughter and a son one went to Denver and the other went wrong. His wife she died , in a pool room fight but he keeps asingin' from mornin' `till night, ride aroun' ride aroooun real slow for th' firey and the snuffy are ararein' to go. suddenly he drops the wooden instument with the gently rounded back though he drops it gently... he stands back with a glazed expression there is something on his head he reaches gingerly with trembling figers to take it off it's a high crowned hat with a wide brim gathered in the front rolled on the sides wide in the back he sits it on the table and starts toward the bar with his first step he hears a slight jingle like tiny bells..... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: MMario Date: 25 Apr 00 - 12:28 PM I'm curious HG - do you suspect her of being older? younger? Male? Since she has appeared at a public function and met MudCat's...it would be pretty futile to try to "masquerade" on the forum...
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 25 Apr 00 - 11:52 AM Aww, c'mon, Harp! :>) I'm here holding the Evil of the Universe at bay in a life or death struggle and all you can worry about is how old Kelida is? The future of Civilization is at stake here!!! Anyway, she strikes me as a ..um..well-rounded 17 year old, if it is legal to say that..:>). Terran Michel Dale de la Voix, Tern |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: harpgirl Date: 25 Apr 00 - 08:41 AM I find it difficult to believe that Kelida is a 17 year old girl...check out the posts folks, lots of inconsistencies.... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 25 Apr 00 - 01:23 AM The Terran' sixth sense, long tuned by the harsh life and song-sensitive discipline of Tern, went off like red alarms and he turned in midnote from his singing in the canteen and bolted, following an invisible radr alarm through the long corridors aft. He stormed through the portal into the seed nursery and took the scene in with a swift glance -- the dark creature was inches from Mandy's terrified face, raising his hand toward her. THinking as fast as light itself the Terran leaped forward and through his beer directly into the monster's face, breaking his hypnotic spell on Mandy for just a moment. As she twisted out of his line of sight, freed from those horrible eyes, the dark creature turned in wrath toward the Terran, now out of ammunition. The Terran thought desparately. Songs-- he was an endless pit of songs -- but to give him any of the precious songs his peop,e had struggled so long to protect and preserve would be open treachery. A flash came to him and he turned directly toward the dark advancing creature, its evil paw held out. The Terran took a deep breath. He knew he had only one shot..... STaring at the ceiling behind the creatures head so as not to be consumed in that bottomless gaze, he opened his mouth and sang with every ouonce of energy he could muster, while Mandy made her escape out the hatch and ran for help. "V-O-O-O-L-A-A-A-A-A-A-R-R-R-R-EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! OHHHHHHH OHHHHHHH! V-O-O-O-L-A-R-R-R-E!!! WOOAA WOOAA WOA WOAA!!!!! LA PLUME ES TANTE LA PLUME!! 'E COSI FAN TUTTI MON ONCLE!!! VO-O-O-O-OLARE!!! WOOOAHH WOAAAH!!!!!....." He went on and on as the dark monster froze in a kind of evil catatonic fit, riveted in place by the combined, irresistible and opposing energies of his lust for songs and his natural sense of revulsion. On and on the Terran sang, though his lungs began to blister and his throat threatened to collapse within him, singing on and on, holding the enemy at bay by sheer force of will, praying for reinfoecements and not daring to miss a single bar. He sang the cursed elevator song over and over and over and over...he was feeling faint but he could not stop ..for Mandy...he had to keep going...maybe if he switched to that Old Bill Bowel Moon...he had to keep going--had to......had to.... |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Mbo Date: 24 Apr 00 - 11:09 PM Well you might not hear him unless you got a cable modem! Good luck! --Lt.Mbo (good at engineering stuff...) |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Kelida Date: 24 Apr 00 - 10:33 PM I was just kidding, Mbo. I date guys older than that--speaking of which, I met a really nice guy today at my work. . .*sigh*. . .hope he calls. . .yeah, right, like that ever happens. . .*grumble, grumble. . .* Peace--Keli |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Mbo Date: 24 Apr 00 - 10:26 PM I wouldn't call 21 "old"! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Kelida Date: 24 Apr 00 - 10:16 PM Sorry, Mbo. I know dirtier limericks than that, but I try to keep them at least SOMEWHAT presentable. . .can't be giving any of the old folks like you heart attacks. . . ;^) Peace--Keli |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: GUEST,JenEllen Date: 24 Apr 00 - 09:25 PM Mandy left Farkin to his work. She was humming to herself and absentmindedly rubbing the frostbitten fingerprint on her forehead. She suddenly chuckled as she remembered the ancient Terran saying "cold hands, warm heart". It was Farkin to a tee. If her Mere was right about the Green Man, she'd have to get the two of them together. She passed the Tavern on her way to visit the Green Man. The raucous laughter and rhyme coming from within the doors sent her shuffling down the hall as fast as a gal in a sari can wiggle. If it was those guys from Engineering again, she'd be done for. Mandolans weren't built to drink, and her hangover was still hanging over from the night before. She was already over an hour late, so a few minutes more wouldn't matter. She'd stop by the hydroponics neonate center and check on her seedlings. The wee ones always do better with a little extra care, and this latest batch of Terran blackberries were looking puny. She remembered once, on a small planet in the Flagon galaxy, how a Terran had showed her the true delicacy of tasting the blackberry on a kiss from your love. She hurried down the hall. Mandy was in such a rush to escape the draw of the tavern that she never noticed the dark figure in the doorway she passed. The creature paused for a minute, watching her shapely form moving down the hall, then fell in step behind her. As Mandy entered the neonatal ward, still humming the Ice Giant's songs to herself, the creature made it's move. All Mandy felt was a rush of air, then a suffocating force that pushed her to the floor. The creature didn't say a word. Mandy crawled to the wall and propped herself in a sitting position, as the creature moved closer. It's vacuous form seeming to draw in all the light and life around it. The tiny blackberry vines near where the creature stood seemed to wither and die before her very eyes. Mandy sat curled on the floor gasping for breath. The creature moved in front of her and held up a small device in what she took to be it's lifeless palm. The device clicked, and the hologramatic image of her grandmother appeared. Her grandmother was talking to HER. The creature must have been behind her grandmother the entire time the two women were talking! She saw her grandmother sing to her, she saw herself bid farewell, and the screen in her grandmother's home went dark. Mere turned around, saw the creature and her face went pale. The old woman's mouth formed a soundless "YOU!" as she picked up a glass, hurling it at the creature. The cloud moved forward and surrounded the old woman. When it moved away, Mandy saw her grandmother sitting comfortably in a chair, blank eyes staring up at the creature. Mandy knew if she didn't get help soon, she'd be next. All the songs she knew would be erased and she would be left as lifeless as the blackberry vines.
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Mbo Date: 24 Apr 00 - 03:44 PM Good gravy K, yer makin' me blush! --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Kelida Date: 24 Apr 00 - 03:25 PM There was a young plumber of Leigh Who was plumbing a maid by the sea. Said the maid, "Cease your plumbing, I hear someone coming." Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."
Once a whore did a priest in a pew
The intelligent beings are out there
The sex act's a curious thing;
There once was a lady who thought And the song went on. . . |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 24 Apr 00 - 12:51 PM Mbo: Time out until you come up with a rhyme for "Mbo". "Throat go" isn't even close! A |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Mbo Date: 24 Apr 00 - 12:47 PM Here's one for Trid, here's one for Mandy Everyone bottoms up Saurian brandy! Here's one for Green Man, here's one for Keli Guzzle it down to warm up your belly! Here's one for Mario, Caitrin, and Mbo Open yer lips and let down it your throat go! And mostly to Barky, our Captain-in-Chief Give her a chalice of olde Turning Leaf! No place is better than our ship, I ween And what is this stuff over here? Well, it's green... --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: MMario Date: 24 Apr 00 - 12:38 PM Fragments of various songs echoe around the bulkheads of Ten Forward.
"There were three hippys came to our front door,
Down the stairs the lady went,
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 24 Apr 00 - 12:28 PM The Terran, weary with endless paranoia and secret messages, joins the lovely Kelida in the ship's saloon and sings: If all the young ladies were in a Land Rover I'd hire out as a Land Rover drover Boil your egg over And boil your egg over And boil your egg over, You Man from the Moon! ... a song he has not heard since his childhood on the wide banks of Tern's upper Slumber River Valley. He grows maudlin remembering the apple blossoms and a home-made ukelele he crafted from a hardwood jangar box, on which he first learned to strum the ancient Terran song "Beautiful, Beautiful Blue Eyes", which he proceeds to sing with deep feeling to his bawdy drinking companion. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Mbo Date: 24 Apr 00 - 12:21 PM There once was a Captain Picard With a head like an egg boiled hard Who shouted "Olé!" And grabbed an epée And went around screaming "En garde!" --Mbo |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: GUEST,Kelida at school Date: 24 Apr 00 - 12:15 PM oops. what happened there? Anyway. . . The pretty girl with silvery blond hair walks out of her room after she finishes writing a new song. She walks through the halls of the ship to the ship's cantina thinking, "wow, I need a drink--songwriting is thirsty work" Then she thinks: maybe I'll sing something else. . . A couple hours later, Kelida is mildly drunk and singing a series of very dirty limericks. . . |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: GUEST,Kelida at school. . . Date: 24 Apr 00 - 11:50 AM |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 24 Apr 00 - 02:05 AM I've got an old mule and her name is Sal Fifteen miles on the eureka nal Sal she is a purr teegal Fifteen miles on the eureka nal Singing the old songs of Dylan Woodrow made the time go bye for Farkin. He sang in rhythm with the crunch and sweep of the shovel. The Foreman watched him, shaking his head. He was like every other ice-giant; slow, surly, and always groaning unintelligible sounds that gave the Maltoonian the creeps. The giant's immense size and strength might have given the foreman a feeling of fear, but the giants were famous for their even tempers. Still. Farkin was more like an animated object than a sentient being, in the eyes of the Maltoonian. His eyes left the form of the ice-giant and returned to his PlayCreature Magazine. "Are you thirsty, Farkin?" Mandy stood in the doorway of the reactor room. She had a thermos in her hand, and Farkin stalked forward to take it from her. In the manner of his kind, Farkin gave thanks by touching the forefinger of his glove to his forehead, and then to hers. He drank deep of the nitrogen, felt his strength returning. "What were you singing, Farkin?" said Mandy, for she was one of the few who could understand the giant's vocalizations."One of Woodrow's old songs, Fifteen Miles on Eureka Nal." Mandy remembered Farkin's tales of Dylan Woodrow and the songs he had taught the giant."Do you know many of Dylan's songs?" Farkin returned her the drained thermos, and took up his shovel. "Oh yes," the ice-giant said," hundreds of them. Would you like to hear some?" Mandy smiled and nodded. The giant sang again
As Robinnood and Little John Mandy left Farkin shoveling and singing. Perhaps the Green Man would have some interest in the giant, and in Woodrow's old nonsensical songs, she thought. |
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Subject: RE: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 23 Apr 00 - 11:20 PM The Yokel, strumming quietly on a lute-shaped instrument to pass away the watch, sang softly,
"There is a young Cowboy |
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Subject: Mudcat Tavern Enterprise Part 3 From: Amos Date: 23 Apr 00 - 11:11 PM Leaping Lygosian Lizards, Batman! Shields Up!! Part 2 is over here. This is part three of the incredible adventures of the Mudcat Enterprise, boldly singing the songs of Man where no voice has sung before ... Or have they? |
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