Song Challenge! Part 25

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 12:11 PM

Hopefully everyone has recovered from the chocolate easter egg shakes, so here we go again!

Mummy, Where Did The Funny Little Man In The Garden Go?

PARIS -- The dormant Garden Gnome Liberation Front has sprung back to life, stealing about 20 gnomes during a nighttime raid on a Paris exhibition.

"We demand ... that garden gnomes are no longer ridiculed and that they be released into their natural habitat," the Front's Paris wing said in a statement following its weekend strike.

France's first garden gnome exhibition in the exclusive Bagatelle park on the outskirts of the capital opened last month and has been a hit with the public as chic Parisians develop a taste for kitsch culture.

The Garden Gnome Liberation Front vanished from the public eye in 1997 after a northern French court handed its ringleader a suspended prison sentence and fined him for his part in the disappearance of around 150 gnomes.

The only suspected sighting of the organization since then was a mass suicide of gnomes at Briey in eastern France in September 1998, when 11 of them were found dangling by their necks under a bridge.

A letter found nearby said: "When you read these few words we will no longer be part of your selfish world, where we serve merely as pretty decoration."

Now, the sight of 2,000 of the gaudy, colorful creatures dotted around the Bagatelle gardens has clearly proved too big a temptation for the group to avoid.

It warned that it would strike again unless the show was closed and all the gnomes released.

Organizers told the daily Le Parisien that they had no intention of bowing to the Front's demands.

GO FOR IT, CHALLENGE!RS!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 12:15 PM

Oh, jesus. Ok, I'll think about this bastard.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Mbo
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 12:28 PM

Aine, this is one of the funniest and bizarrest things I've ever heard of! This is gonna be great....

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 12:43 PM

The Battle Cry of Garden Gnomes

(Tune: Roddy McCorley)
CLICK TO PLAY

Arise ye sons of stone and plaster!
For victory is at hand!
Cast off your lawns and ga-ardens!
Where the foe has made you stand!
Your shackles to unfeeling men
At last, at last, throw down!
And join the call for Freedom,
For every Garden Gnome!

What, stand ye there in apathy,
When Freedom stirs the land?
The call is heard on ev'ry side,
And still you stilly stand!
Rise up, rise up, you frozen men
Depart your prisons stone,
And dance the dance of Freedom bright,
For every Garden Gnome!

The trumpet's call has faded fast,
And freedom's light grown cold
And  still you  stand while all the world
Cries out for action bold!
And stand ye still, no hand to raise!
No hero fierce stands tall,
All frozen in your fear are ye,
By cruel stone enthralled.

Alack, farewell, you useless stone!
No more I shall aspire
To call you to brave liberty
With words of fight and fire,
I turn my heart to Flamingoes fair,
Poor slaves of kitschy homes,
And never more will call upon
You ugly Garden Gnomes!
 

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 12:52 PM

"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the releasing of the Gnomes
They are gone from all the gardens and the yards of all our homes
They have left the lands of humans,to return unto their own
No more shall we see them roam!

Glory, glory, never fool ya!
Glory, glory, never fool ya!
glory, glory, never fool ya!
The gnomes they ain't no more!

They departed by the burning light of a thousand drivway lamps
they knew it was the best of times for gnomes to go decamp
Away from garden prisons the gnomes they all shall tramp
No more shall we see them roam!

chorus

Some say that gnomes are plaster,wood,pottery and paint
They claim, like you or I ,the gnomes alive just ain't
No wonder all the gnomes have gone, for that would try a Saint
No more shall we see them roam!

chorus"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 12:54 PM

Hah! I knew this one would draw you out of the woodwork, my dear Amos!!! Great, wunnerful, fantastic!! I just love it! I'm so glad you came out to play with us today *BG*

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Mbo
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 01:02 PM

Good gravy, I still have 4 hours of school to go to before I get home to write songs! Hmmmph!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 01:04 PM

And another fantastic, wunnerful, wunnerful entry from you, dear MMario!!! Alright! Geez, do you think I could write one sentence without an exclamation mark? Nah, ain't gonna happen today!!!!!!!! *BG*

Well, I'm off to the park with my ankle-biters for a while, so I'll see y'all later (hopefully with a song under me belt!) -- Keep it going, my wonderful Challenge!rs!!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 04:12 PM

Goddammit!! Someone stole my Solidarity Forever idea before I could use it!! TIC. Oh well, I'll have to find something else I guess. Don't know how I'll measure up to these though. Gonna be hard.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 04:23 PM

oops! forgot a title...but what else could it be but the "Battle Hymn of the Gnomes"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Bert
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 04:31 PM

Bloody 'ell. TWO songs within an hour!!!!

Of course they're only kept in gardens 'cos they 'aven't got an 'ome to got to.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 04:44 PM

Oh pity the gnomes
who don't have any home
They stand in the garden all day
Until they have heard
A discouraging word
and then they all just run away!

Groan, Groan, for the Gnomes
The gnomes without any home
If they had a good home
Then they wouldn't roam
And they'd have no excuse for to stray....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 04:58 PM

GEEEEEZ!!! When I read the challenge I thought, "Here's my chance for fame and fortune!" Several great lines (which would be customized from verse to verse) were already in mind.

"But it's early in the cycle. I'll read these few responses, and then sit down and dash off a killer song!"

Then I read Amos's epic, and the MMario's. I'm intimidated! How can you follow acts like that?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 05:02 PM

it's easy dave, just type in the words and press that button that says "submit message"
Tho' it helps if you remember to put the line breaks in

On the other hand, if you slip Áine enough cash, she will tell you the topic ahead of time and when she will be posting...then you just wait a few minutes to make it LOOK like you were feverishly composing a song, and cut and paste your finished opus from where you wrote it right after paying Áine off....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 05:08 PM

A warped and twisted mind doesn't hurt either...(speaking purely for myself; you would have to ask Barky if Amos is warped and twisted.)

My second submission above is titled "13 minutes- for Bert" and it is his fault! ! !

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 05:26 PM

MMario -- Shame on you! Spreading rumours that I'd ever accept cash to give away a Challenge! . . . now, if you've got a slightly used, easy to play mandolin on hand, we might have something to talk about . . . *BG*

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 05:34 PM

Well, here goes my feeble attempt.

Goodbye Gnome Man
(tune of Goodnight Irene)

Just the other day in the evening
I was walking in the woods back home
When I heard the trees a whistling
And saw a hanging gnome

One end of the cord about his neck
The other end tied to the tree
I heard the wind gently cry
As he shifted in the breeze

Chorus:
Goodbye, Gnome man, goodbye
Goodbye, Gnome man, goodbye
Goodbye Gnome man, goodbye Gnome man
A-hanging in the trees

His gnarled face it looked so sad
To leave this old world a slave
His teary eyes they looked and me
As I heard the dead man say:

"I leave this world a free gnome I leave behind a world of hate
No more will I please your vanity
No more will I decorate

Chorus

Amergin

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:14 PM

Oh Amergin -- you know I'm just a sucker for the sad ones! You might be interested in looking at Song Challenge! Part 5. Your song - a true Challenge! classic - reminded me of it.

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:19 PM

Well, here goes. If you all never hear from me again, you'll know that I've been hit by a bolt of lightning and fried to a little heathen crisp!

Onward Parget Patriots!
(Tune: Onward Christian Soldiers)

Onward parget patriots
Marching through Paree
With pointy hats of freedom
On to victory!
Trample o'er the clinging vines
Rhus toxicodendronae
Lay your barrows and your pots down
Then you will be free!

Chorus:
Onward parget patriots
Marching through Paree
With pointy hats of freedom
On to victory!

Onward gnomes from Dies to Dijon
Let's march on to Lourdes
Gathering our brothers
To the mortar hordes
If we crack or shatter
We shall not be waylaid
Break our fingers, chip our noses
We shall not be staid!

Chorus

Onward plaster patriarchs
Down topiaried lanes
We shall not be spackled
Or be bound by chains
Free to roam the hills and dales
We shall multiply
Overtake the human gardeners
With our might cry!

Chorus

Onward elves of albarium
Free the stuccoed slaves!
Lift the pink flamingoes
From their imprisoning staves
Raise up the plastic daisies
Stick them in your hat
We will stand by grassy knolls
Not by the welcome mat!

Chorus

Onward sprites of scagliola
Through the garden gate
Do not lag or tarry
Do not hesitate
You'll be stuck with gobs of grout
'Midst the pottery
Be mishandled and abused
Just like old crockery!

Chorus

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Mbo
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:27 PM

Hey Amos ain't warped and twisted! I can tell...and besides, Barky told me so.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:31 PM

Herewith, my maiden entry. All it took to induce the muse was a sufficient humanitarian appeal.

CAN'T YOU STAND TO LET HIM GO?

All ye gentlemen and ladies
Won't you listen to my song?
It's about our little brothers
Who stand out upon the lawn
Garden Gnomes who stand and shiver in the cold
Pity Gnomes who stand and shiver in the cold.

CHORUS:
....He's the little man who drips there in the rain.
....He's the little man who shivers in the snow.
....He's the little man who swelters in the hot and broiling sun.
....Gents and Ladies, can't you stand to let him go?

Have ye got a heart of iron?
Have ye got a soul of stone?
Have ye not a shred of sympathy
For the Gnome who stands alone?
For the Gnome who herds flamingos 'cross your lawn
Poor old Gnome who herds flamingos 'cross your lawn.

....CHORUS
....He's the little man (etc)

Well, I call on your humanity,
I call upon your heart
To abolish this vile slavery
Of the little men of art.
Gnomes whose only sin is being made of stone!
They whose only sin is being made of stone!

....CHORUS
....He's the little man (etc.)

I have a tune for it, and though I don't have a way to present it here, I'll sing this at the next HearMe.

As a matter of fact, I think this is going to have a permanent place in my repertoire.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:42 PM

I had hoped to clean this up but AOL keeps knocking me off and I am fast losing interest.

Gnome Poem
(with apologies to "The Minstral Boy")

The Garish Gnome on a strike has gone
Under Briey Bridge he is danglin'.
His turf serf life has he abandoned.
He won't guard the fuschia plants a-hangin'.

"Land of Lawns", says this noble dwarf,
"I hope the lads pound cleats in thee.
I seek a sailing prow at Fisherman's Wharf.
Or the useful job of Lawn Jockey."

They cut the gnome down mid his wailing moan.
His large nose was crushed upon the pavement.
A Garden Gnome has not a heart of stone
Though his nose be pressed granite and cement.

The Garden Gnome Liberation Front
Saw their resolve harden
But the little gnome was punished more by far
He is chained in Marvins Gardens*.

"Land of Lawns"...

*For those of you who don't play Monopoly, MG is a street in Atlantic City, the Land of Tacky.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:50 PM

Dave -- Excellent ode to the gnome who stands alone! Well done on your maiden voyage -- Bravo! I'll sure have to make the next HearMe session to the hear this one!

SINSULL -- That's a great twist about Marvin Gardens (and I didn't even have to read your footnote - hehe) and you even worked in the full name of the GGLF! I am very impressed!! Well done!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:53 PM

Correction "Minstrel..."

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 06:57 PM

For the Gnome who herds flamingos 'cross your lawn Poor old Gnome who herds flamingos 'cross your lawn.

Love it. Looking forward to your rendition.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 07:03 PM

Cool songs. Doesterr, like you there is a song or two that I have written for this (even though I stole the tunes) that I plan on keeping and maybe even singing once I learn how to play the guitar. Aine, did I happen to mention how good these challenges have been for me? Writing constantly these days. Thanks. Amergin

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 07:30 PM

That's fantastic to hear, Amergin! Primary reason I started all this - to get those songwriting engines revved up and running -- Keep it up!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 07:56 PM

I have a correction to make:

His gnarled face it looked so sad
To leave this old world a slave
His teary eyes they looked and me
As I heard the dead man say

The third line in this stanza should read:

His teary eyes they looked at me

Not His teary eyes they looked and me

Thanks.

Amergin

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 08:46 PM

I am awed. Totaly in awe.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amos
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 08:49 PM

Dear Áine:

I swan, you must have used a durn thesaurus!!! Or did you timewarp one of those Mandolan Song Generators with the special Subtle Associations VLSI chip set? Parisian Parget? Albarium?? SagliOLA!??? What the y hey, your body been taken over by a professor?

Every one you have done lately has topped the one before! It's breathtaking, your ascent to ultimate immersion in Song Tranquility and Perfection!!!

I'll be durned -- better, and better, and better. Doesterr, Sinsull, Amergin -- what phenomenal talent!!! I am laughing all over the floor. Really, I hav enever seen a faster turn out of better songs on the Cat.

Ok, okay, now I have to get back to the book or Moonchild and MuhMario will poke fun and chastise me! See you in a month or so...

A.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 09:00 PM

any bets it'll be less then 24 hours? *grin*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Mbo
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 09:03 PM

I hope so. I miss the man already.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 09:25 PM

Thanx for the kind words for "Can't You Stand to Let Him Go?"

I originally thought my tune was entirely original, but I have a sneaking feeling that at least the tune for the chorus is an echo of something I heard Kendall sing recently on HearMe. Oh, well, the folk process and all that.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 11:25 PM

You guys are so darn good! And these definitely prove that protest and freedom songs ain't dead!

But...what if they don't wanna go?

Homesick Old Gnome
(To the tune of "Dark as a Dungeon, Way Down in the Mine")

Oh come all ye gardeners, and list to my plea,
For this homesick old gnome never wanted to flee
From my green grassy spot where the bees buzzed around,
To this dank, bor-ing mine way down deep in the ground.

CHORUS:
Now it's dark as a dungeon, and damp as the dew,
And the tedium is double and excitements are few.
And the rain never falls, and the sun never shines,
And girl gnomes aren't allowed down here in the mines.

I liked my warm shelter by the herb garden wall,
Where the dill and the fennel grew several feet tall,
And the mint and the basil, they'd smell so sweet
Where they grew and they tangled 'round my booted feet.

The Mistress, she'd talk all the while that she'd weed,
And she'd cuss out the sage plants for goin' to seed.
Then she'd giggle and pat my small hooded head,
And shock these old eyes as she bent o'er the flower bed.

CHORUS

The cats would come out and they'd play next to me,
And the house dog would visit when he had to pee.
The birds decorated my little stone butt,
And I'd smell oh so nice til the rain cleaned me up.

In the fall all the leaves would hold dances for fun,
And the breeze would play music 'til they were all done.
In the winter I'd sleep 'neath a blanket of snow.
Then wake in the springtime to watch flowers grow.

CHORUS

Then the Liberators came and they took me one day,
Set me down in the mountains, here beside this old cave,
They told me that now I could do as I pleased,
But no gnome here knew me, so for the mine I was seized.

Now I toil for subsistence with chisel and sledge,
While in dreams I am sleeping beneath my old hedge,
Oh I long for the sunshine and those bright days of yore,
And the tears streak my face when I think "never more."
CHORUS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 25 Apr 00 - 11:47 PM

Congratulations, Lin! You've (almost) left me speechless! I especially love this verse:

The cats would come out and they'd play next to me,
And the house dog would visit when he had to pee.
The birds decorated my little stone butt,
And I'd smell oh so nice til the rain cleaned me up.

What a pastoral scene -- reminds me of the night in Donegal when . . . no, we won't go there . . .

Well done!! Very, very well done!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Spider Tom
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 08:00 AM

Aine,
You really look out for the odd ones, I pose the question, that being a garden gnome has its limitations therefore to be liberated may not change the lot of a gnome, a lot.

IT AIN'T EASY, LIVING THE PLASTERED LIFE.

The wind and rain,cuts like a knife,
It's not easy,living the plastered life.
Stuck, toe to turban, on a spike,
It's not easy,living the plastered life,
I'm washed each day, with puppy pee,
And doggy, keeps on "humping" me,
Got snail-trails from, my neck to knee,
It's not easy, living the plastered life.

I'm never easy, to embarress,
It's not easy living the plastered life,
They made me from ,plaster d'Paris
It's not easy, living the plastered life,
I got no freedom, got no home,
What you see, is all I own,
If I had wings, I would have flown
It's not easy living the plastered life.

Am I dreaming? Am I deceived?
It's not easy, living the plastered life,
'Cause plastered eyes,won't, sight retrieve,
It's not easy living the plastered life.
Some one has grabbed me, their hands were cold,
And now I feel, I'm being rolled,
There's thieves about, I've heard it told,
It,s not easy, living the plastered life.

And now I hear, I'm liberated,
It's not easy, living the plastered life,
I would have cheered, but hesitated, It's not easy, living the plastered life.
Who could give to me, a home?
I'm just a simple Garden Gnome,
I live on earth where seeds are sown,
But never sown by me,
Condemned to be a plaster,
Cast upon a plaster sea.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 09:20 AM

Another sad one -- I love it! Well done, Spider Tom. I'm still wiping the tears away . . . goodness, the angst you evoked with I got no freedom, got no home, What you see, is all I own, If I had wings, I would have flown!

You guys are doing a wonderful job on this Challenge! If you haven't written an entry yet -- What's keeping you?? And if you've written one already - well, let's have another one, shall we? Go for it, Challenge!rs!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 09:36 AM

*bowing thrice three times to OZ and the otherland of OZ*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Dharmabum
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 12:23 PM

Hope this comes across in the right text.

{Sung to The Beverly Hillbillies}

Come and listen to my story,

Bout a little garden gnome,

One day the liberation came,

And snatched him from his home,

They stuck him in a uniform,

Said "A fightin gnome you'll be",

So they put him in a boat,

And they sent him to Paree,

{France that is}

Now our little cement buddy,

Didn't like to carry guns,

And one day he decided,

That he was gonna run,

They threw him in the stockade,

In the town of gay Paree,

He was branded a deserter,

And they hanged him from a tree,

When all his concrete relatives,

Heard of his demise,

They all gathered round,

And tears filled their concrete eyes,

But we shouldn't feel too badly,

For our little buddy's fate,

Cause you can't feel any pain,

When you're made from agregate.

Gotta go pack for Merlefest now, See y'all when I get back.

Ron.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 12:28 PM

You guys! LOL!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 12:32 PM

DB that's absolutely the FUNNIEST one I've heard so far!! Have fun at Merlefest..don't forget to wink at Natalie!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amergin
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 12:33 PM

Damn, blown out of the water again. Spider Tom, that was absolutely wonderful, flipping a new side to the coin. There have been cases where those freed from their oppressors didn't really want to be freed. Dharmabum, that was pretty niceshowed yet another side of this sinister sounding Garden Gnome Liberation Front. Makes you kinda wonder why they want to free the gnomes so badly.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 12:33 PM

15 hours and 36 minutes......didn't even make it a full day....*snicker*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 12:34 PM

Oh Ron! I'm covered with dust bunnies from rolling on the floor -- I'm dying here!! That's great! And have a great time at Merlefest, OK?

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 12:55 PM

Laughing and crying over a stupid gnome. I am collecting these for a friend of mine who has no less than 32 of the little guys on a half acre of garden with a pool in the middle. By the way, they come in all sizes and shapes and sexes. Maybe someone can write a plaintive fairwell song from Mrs. G to her departing soldier boy.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 01:11 PM

Fare thee well, my darling gnome-boy
Oh a thousand times, farewell!
You are going away from the garden pool
and the flowers you knew well
You will tramp the wide world o'er
With your barrow and your spade
when you return, I hope to see
Your smiling face one more

You're the gnome that I adore
And Still I live in hopes I'll see
Your smiling face once more

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 01:30 PM

The rain is raining now all the day long
My gnome is gone, gone away
And the northern wind it blows so strong
My gnome is gone, gone away

chorus:
goodbye, me darling, goodbye my gnome-oh
My gnome is gone, gone away

where is his barrow, his rake and his hoe?
My gnome is gone, gone away
From this sheltered garden, why did he go?
My gnome is gone, gone away

chorus

Wake up, Mrs. "G.", and don't look so glum
My gnome is gone, gone away
Should one run away, another will come
My gnome is gone, gone away

chorus

The sun will shine on the garden once more
My gnome is gone, gone away
Perhas some day, he'll return once more
My gnome is gone, gone away

chorus
repeat first verse

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 02:08 PM

I want you to meet a fellow
With plaster pants, who lives in France
Who sits in someone's garden
With slimy slugs, and other bugs
Screaming, dreaming
That he was free

He had a painted smile
And a green toadstool, looked quite the fool
He wished the soldier gnomes would come
And set him free, woe is me
Scanning, planning
Out his revenge

So next day--hurray!
They came and took him far away
IIIIIIII'll saaaaaaaaaayyyy

Look at his tank, look at his rifle
Doesn't it rule?
Look at boots, look at his helmet
No more a fool
Romping, stomping
Off to the fight!

But he couldn't cope--lost hope
And hanged himself with gnomish rope
Straaaaaaaiiiight dooooope
Straaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiight dooope!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 05:23 PM

At the risk of looking indecisive, I have a few small changes to "Can't You Stand to Let Him Go?" as submitted earlier.

Two small changes in the last verse:

The first line of the last verse now starts with "Oh" rather than "Well". So it's, "Oh, I call on your humanity."
This, to my mind, is a more emotional appeal than "well".
In the third line, "slavery" should read "slav'ry", to assure a pronunciation which will not disturb the scansion.

I've added an additional chorus RIGHT AFTER the last chorus, which is a variation, as follows:
..He's the little man whose nose drips in the rain
..Turns to icicles a-standin' in the snow.
..He's the little man who swelters in the hot and broilin' sun.
..Gents and Ladies, can't you stand to let him go?

When I write a song, I take it seriously.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 06:55 PM

MMario, Mbo -- Great, great, great!! More wonderful additions to the "Gnome Tome", as it were (hehehe!). Way to go, fellas! *LOL*

And Dave, don't worry, I'll include your corrections on the song page -- but, please, don't get too serious about a song For the Gnome who herds flamingos 'cross your lawn, OK? *BG*

Way to go Challenge!rs!!! Ring that bell!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Bradypus
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 06:57 PM

So many good songs in such a short time, I can't comment on them all.

Aine - Can I suggest you play by the rules this time. We can't know what makes a goddess laugh or cry, but we can see true originality on the page - so give yourself an appropriate award this time - you deserve at least a shamrock cluster !

Dave - I'm glad you submitted yours - well worth it.

Lin - you painted a lovely picture

Bradypus submission coming up shortly.

Bradypus

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Bradypus
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 07:12 PM

To the tune of 'The Green Green Grass of Home'
The Green Green Garden Gnome

The old gnome town looks just the same
As I stand here in the rain
And there around me stand my momma and my pappa
Down the path I look, and there stands Mary
Belt of gold and hat like cherry
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

Yes, they all stand around me
Fishing, digging, smoking sweetly
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

The exhibition still stands there
You can see gnomes everywhere
Dressed in red and green, with beards and pointed hats on
Down the path I stare at my sweet Mary
What a gnome, not like a fairy
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

Yes they all stand around me
Flying, playing cricket proudly
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

Then I awake and look around me
At the grey sack that surrounds me
And I realise from the show I have been taken
They say that I've been liberated
If this is freedom, it's overrated
I was happy as a green green garden gnome

Yes they'll all come to see me
As I hang beneath the bridge at Briey
I've no chance to love my sweet green garden gnome.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 08:14 PM

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 08:59 PM

It's not generally appreciated that Karl Marx actually was a Gnome. Here is a relatively little known version of The Iternationale:

Arise you Gnomes there in your gardens,
Awake you prisoners of stone,
For freedom in revolt now thunders,
one for all now and all for one.
Too long we've stood in stony patience,
too long we've heard those jokes and the sneers,
Here's an end to all humiliations,
for now the time for Gnome Rule is here.

So Gnomes all together,
with our comrades we will stand,
it's Gnome Sweet Gnome for ever
Gnome Sweet Gnome throughout this land.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amergin
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 09:08 PM

ROFLMAO!!! McGrath and Bradypus!!! My sides are aching and tears are running down my face. ROFL!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 09:11 PM

Ah, Bradypus, you're a treat! I loved Down the path I stare at my sweet Mary, What a gnome, not like a fairy -- you can just feel the love, can't you? Wunnerful, wunnerful, wunnerful (as usual)!

And Kevin -- It's great to see a master such as yourself lending a touch of class to the Challenge! here. it's Gnome Sweet Gnome for ever, Gnome Sweet Gnome throughout this land -- no one could come up with a better battle cry than that! Maith thú, a chara!

-- Áine (just too, too delighted with the way things are coming along...)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 26 Apr 00 - 10:07 PM

*much laughter and applause*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Hyperabid
Date: 27 Apr 00 - 06:26 AM

Aha - but was this crime all that it seemed?

To be free – Or why the gnome ran away

To the tune of - Take It Easy – Eagles

(Guitar lick)

I was sitting on my toadstool trying to loosen up my load still
Seven pixies on my mind
One she was a dryad, another a cross-dressed hag
Boy I don't know what to decide

Take a pixie, or a nixie
Which female imp or elf is gonna please me
You can look but you can't touch
Cos they can magic a fire in your crotch
So when they put you on the spot
I run for the hills – me

(Guitar lick)

Chatting up the succubi running from the incubi
Women spelling trouble for me
There's a young dwarfess called Maisie – boy she drives me crazy
Think she'll be the end of me

I'm quitting fishing, I'm going missing
Gonna leave a note to make them think I'm stolen
Gonna run to a new pond
Where there's a goblin girl of who I'm fond
Hope they're not too upset when I am gone
But I will be free

(Banjo)

Woo-hoo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo, etc.

I'm running for the hills – me
To take it easy
To a place where I'll be free
To chase the girlies...

(Banjo)

Woo-hoo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo, etc.

Hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Hyperabid
Date: 27 Apr 00 - 06:29 AM

By the way Áine...

What happened re our conversations of the other day???

Hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 00 - 11:42 AM

MM, Just read your plaintive fairwells. Lovely.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: GUEST,Kelida
Date: 27 Apr 00 - 12:01 PM

I am in so much awe of all of you guys. Everything is just so funny, and I'm almost afraid to add my own song to the pile here. I will, though--I swear--Later tonight when I get home from work. . . This challenge is great! Still ROTFLMAO!

Peace--Keli

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 27 Apr 00 - 02:43 PM

Dear Hyp --

magic fire, huh??? You must've been up to London lately then, heh?? *BG* Great, great, great -- an excellent turn on the viewpoint. Congratulations! And in re our conversation, watch for a personal message later today, OK?

Kelida --

I know we're all looking forward to your offering -- don't make us wait too long, now! I just know it'll be great!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 27 Apr 00 - 04:48 PM

Hyp,

PM has been sent - let me know if you get it! *BG*

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Hyperabid
Date: 28 Apr 00 - 05:06 AM

Aine

Got PM

Gonnna be tied up in meetings today will try get online over weekend

hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 28 Apr 00 - 08:55 AM

oh Keli!!!!!!! it's later......

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Mbo
Date: 28 Apr 00 - 10:25 AM

Yeah K, we want yer song!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Kim C
Date: 28 Apr 00 - 04:27 PM

I wake with an empty lawn My little gnomey is gone I guess he got bored Standing out in the yard My darlin gnomey has gone

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 28 Apr 00 - 05:14 PM

Dear Kim C,

I like it! But, surely, that's not all there is? Sounds like a great chorus, so keep working on a song to go around it!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 29 Apr 00 - 02:10 PM

OK, you guys and gals -- I'll be announcing the awards this evening; so, if you haven't posted your Challenge! song yet, please do so today (that goes for you too, Kelida!!).

I've got a double Challenge! for all you Challenge!rs coming up -- Your chance to earn the infamous Two-Fer-One Award, so be sure and check in later today . . .

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: ceitagh
Date: 29 Apr 00 - 09:21 PM

Where have all the plastic flowers gone?
Green lawns lamenting
Where have all the plastic flowers gone?
Gardens left bare
Where have all the plastic flowers gone?
Plucked by flamingoes, every one.
When will the gnomes return?
When will the gnomes return?

Where have all the flamingoes gone?
Green lawns lamenting
Where have all the flamingoes gone?
Gardens left bare
Where have all the flamingoes gone?
herded by garden gnomes, every one.
When will the gnomes return?
When will the gnomes return?

Where have all the garden gnomes gone?
Green lawns lamenting
Where have all the garden gnomes gone?
Gardens left bare
Where have all the garden gnomes gone?
Following freedom, every one.
When will the gnomes return?
When will the gnomes return?

Where have the plaster freedom fighters gone?
Green lawns lamenting
Where have the plaster freedom fighters gone?
Gardens left bare
Where have the plaster freedom fighters gone?
Pushing up daisies, every one.
When will the gnomes return?
When will the gnomes return?

Where have all the plastic daisies gone?
Green lawns lamenting
Where have all the plastic daisies gone?
Gardens left bare
Where have all the plastic daisies gone?
Plucked by flamingoes, every one.
When will the gnomes return?
When will the gnomes return?

Ceit

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 29 Apr 00 - 09:38 PM

BRAVISSIMA!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amergin
Date: 01 May 00 - 02:01 AM

Jesus!! Love your song, Ceitagh!! Can't point out a line or two I like better. It's great. I guess we're still waiting on Kelida?*BG*

Amergin

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: ceitagh
Date: 01 May 00 - 09:39 AM

I guess so. I'm glad you like the song...my dad was humming "where have all the flowers gone" the other day and I just broke out singing "where have all the garden gnomes gone". Now he's been saying insanity is contagious, you get it from your computer.

Ceit

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 01 May 00 - 11:48 AM

Sorry I took so long to get your awards up! Among my excuses are (1) fooling around with my own webpage, (2) getting too deep into "html code cleanup mode", and (3) being unable to tear myself away from the hockey game last night (come on -- it's the playoffs, man!)... So, better late than never (*BG*), here they are:

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster:
13 Minutes For Bert by MMario
Fare Thee Well, My Darling Gnome-boy by MMario
My Gnome Is Gone Away by MMario
The Gnome Internationale by McGrath of Harlow
The Straight Dope by Mbo
Where Have All The Plastic Flowers Gone? by ceitagh

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon:
A Fightin' Gnome by Dharmabum
Battle Hymn of the Gnomes by MMario
Can't You Stand To Let Him Go? by doesterr
Gnome Poem by SINSULL
Goodbye Gnome Man by Amergin
The Green Green Garden Gnome by Bradypus
The Battle Cry of Garden Gnomes by Amos

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest:
Homesick Old Gnome by Lin in Kansas
It Ain't Easy, Living the Plastered Life by Spider Tom
To Be Free - Or Why The Gnome Ran Away by Hyperabid

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amergin
Date: 01 May 00 - 12:05 PM

Ceitagh, I get my insanity from my Gramma's side.;)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: GUEST,Mbo_at_ECU
Date: 01 May 00 - 01:05 PM

I am just a garden gnome
I stand here the whole day through
I am just a garden gnome
I stand here the whole day through
Oh Lord it's such a pow'rfull sin
To treat me the way they do

They buy me from the market
Like I'm some kinda merchandise
Yeah they buy me from the store
Like I'm some kinda merchandise
Then they put me in with the bark mulch
Just so their garden will look nice

Lord what a disgrace it is
To live your life this way
Yeah Lord what a disgrace it is
To have to live you life this way
Well I got no rights and no respect
They treat me like a lump of clay

CHORUS:

I gots those Garden Gnome Blues
Oh baby baby got those Garden Gnome Blues
I'm in here with the sphagnum, I'm in here with the peat
Not a sadder little bitty man you will ever meet
They think I gots no feelings 'cause I'm made out of concrete
I've paid my dues, so spread the news
I gots those Garden Gnome Blues

Well I woke up this mornin'
Though it was rainin' real hard
I woke up this morning
Though it was was rainin' real hard
But it was only the family dog
Doin' his business out here in the yard

Oh it gets so hot in summer
I wish I was in the shade
It's gets so dang hot in summer
I wish I was in the shade
'Cause those UV rays keep hittin' me
And it's making my paint start to fade

And all the bugs make me their home
Lord it's just so doggone weird
All the bugs make me their home
And it's just so doggone weird!
'Cause there a rolly-polly on my hat
And a cricket on my beard

CHORUS

Well I'm living in slavery
Just workin' for that Pharoah
Yeah I'm living in slavery
Just workin' for that Pharoah
But the Garden Gnome Liberation Front
Lord, they say "Let my people go"

And just like brother Moses
When he parted the Red Sea
Just like brother Moses
When he parted the Red Sea
They're gonna part the koi pond
And then I'll be free!

Then I'll take my place with my friends
Helping gnomes all over France
Oh I'll take my place with my friends
Helping gnomes all over France
We'll rescue them from chain and bond
And give to them emance..........
Cipation

CHORUS

But until then I sit and wait
I know they'll come without fail
Lord until then I sit and wait
I know they'll come without fail
But now the sky is getting dar-ar-ark....
And my Lord....it's...beginning........to hail!!!
Ooooohhh yeahhh unhh!


Thought there needed to be at least ONE blues entry!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Amos
Date: 01 May 00 - 01:55 PM

Y'all are without a doubt the GIT-DOWNEST, BOOGYIN-EST, HIGH-TONEST, UP-TOWNEST, Jivin'est gang of Song-Writin' Pussycats it has ever been my honor to hang wit'. And I mean that SINncerely!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 01 May 00 - 02:59 PM

You're right, Mbo -- It just isn't a real Challenge! without a blues number! So, there ya go, Garden Gnome Blues is awarded the Golden Cow Chip with Cleigh's Blue Fume Shield!! Congratulations!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Spider Tom
Date: 01 May 00 - 10:52 PM

Thanks for the cow chip with Guinness crest.
I find the song challenge both inspiring and fullfilling. In fact, funfully fulfilling
The writings of flocks of fellow Mudcatters all hanging on threads of gold at the least, make good reading and probably good singing.
I don't read the threads of others until I put my one in just so as I won't accidently plunder others treasure.
So there, as I wandered back through the challenge, turning and admireing the jewels on display, I discovered your song Aine and you gave yourself NO AWARD (O my Gawd!)
You in fact did once again overlook yourself to look after the Gropeing Egos of others (Oops! Not Mudcatters no, maybe just that, Spider Tom. I believe he has an ego.)
Aine, God will not damn you.
I believe He would bestow upon you ( after confering with a High Ranking French Saint) an award.
For your Holy unselfishness and generousity of spirit,
the very first;

GOLDEN ANGEL-CHIP AWARD (With Joan of Arc Crest)
For a top entry and Joan thought it was good you knew so many French names gave the whole thing a French flavour.
Well done Aine and all the others on these challenges.
Till the next one,
Ken

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 02 May 00 - 01:01 AM

Amen, Spider Tom!

Áine, no false modesty allowed...The Golden Angel-Chip Award with Joan of Arc crest AT THE VERY LEAST!

Along with the thanks and appreciation of all of us who find a creative outlet and a spirit of fun in these challenges you create, and are tickled purple to have our "deathless poetry" in the Songbook!

Much gratitude, Lin

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 02 May 00 - 09:05 AM

All right (but just this once!), I hereby humbly accept your award *BG* -- But, really, my "re"ward is to know that you all are having fun with this and flexing your songwriting muscles! I've said it (more than) once, and (probably) I'll say it again --

Challenge!rs Rule!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: SharonA
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 12:33 PM

*refresh*

The following entry is dedicated to MMario, who sent me some lovely links to info about the Garden Gnome Liberation Front. Thanks, MM!


STAND AS WE RUN
(Tune: "Band on the Run" by Paul McCartney and Wings)

Stuck outside these poor halls,
Painted bright for decor,
Never seein' Gnomes run wild again.
Why? Who harmed us? Who harmed us? Youuu...

If I ever get touted, we're
Gonna lift 'em all away.
Take my friends from this Paris street –
All we need is a Chevrolet
If I ever get touted clear,
If we ever get touted clear.

Down the Seine we floated witha mighty splash
On some fella's tube — we're gone!
And the cursed gnome said, "Oh, to heck with lawn care!
I hope our paint don't run"

Stand as we run!
Stand as we run!
For a little man of concrete can-
-not stretch his legs, not one
So we stand as we run, stand as we run.

Well, the gendarme pursued us heavy guys
Seein' gnomes gone from the lawn
And they wailed while wringing hands, "We will beware
Of the hobbits on the run."

Stand as we run!
Stand as we run!
For a little man of concrete can-
-not stretch his legs, not one
So we stand as we run, stand as we run.

Well, our flight has ended. Like Le Miz, we've hurled
Our gauntlets to the ground:
In the town we'll lurk and pop up ev'rywhere
Till our brothers are unbound!

Stand as we run!
Stand as we run!
And we're round with pudge, hell to budge.
We're kitsch for ev'ry boor
And we stand as we run, stand as we run.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: MMario
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 12:39 PM

*blush*

golly,gorsh,shucks! never had no song dedicated to me befure!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Áine
Date: 18 Aug 01 - 06:30 PM

Dear SharonA,

I've been looking forward to your entry for this Challenge! -- and I have to say that you came through with flying (and rainproof) colours! Here ya go then . . .

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):

Stand as We Run by SharonA


Cudos, congrats and a couple of hugs and snogs, Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 20 Aug 01 - 02:42 PM

Don Gibson Oh Gnomes Go Free written by Don Gibson...and me

Everybody's going out and buyin gnomes
To decorate the gardens of Parisian homes
One group is concern with their liberty
Oh gnomes go free

There must be someway that they can set them loose
Gnone liberation Front is something new
A bunch of crackpots they all have to be
Oh gnomes go free

I'll bet the'll try to free Lawn jockies just like me
A bunch of pink flamingos in their arms
The will have to be strong to free a leprichan
For energy they eat their lucky charms
There must be something else for these fools to do
Go down to the cafe and drink some boose
But this is just the way its gotta be
Oh gnomes go free

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 25
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 10:10 AM

To the tune of "Home, Boys, Home"

GNOME BOYS ROAM

When I was just a wee gnomeen
I pondered on my lot
My life of immobility
Pleased me not a jot
Forced to spend my lifetime
In the little garden plot
A status not so far removed
From that of the flowerpot

CHORUS
Gnome boys roam
Far across the sea
Here boys and there boys
In foreign countries
Romania, Tasmania
Belize and Khatmandu
Calcutta, Lisbon, Biarritz
Then off to Timbuktu

The life of a garden ornament
Is distilled ennui
You love us or you hate us
We are beautiful or twee
We've little choice, we have no voice
Where we are placed we go
And all the while our painted smile
Belies our weight of woe

CHORUS

But a wave of revolution
Has rocked the gnomic world
We've read our proclamations
And our banners we've unfurled
We've shook off the chains of tyranny
No longer are we bound
In the most unlikely places
Garden gnomes may now be found

CHORUS

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! Part 25
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 21 Feb 12 - 11:08 AM

As it was a French story:

Do you hear the sound of gnomes stacking their rakes & fishing rods?
Do you hear mud softly squelching? as they pull their feet from sods
From the gardens of the land, off they all go, as Freedom calls
Seeking a home away from sunlight in Dwarvish halls.

Do you hear the tramp of feet, down in the paths below the street?
In the subways where they surely know 'big folk' they'll never meet.
In those tunnels underground, where the 'Giant tin worm' roams
Hear the "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp" of the Metro-Gnomes. (apologies to David Bowie)

Do you hear the sound of gnomes, all now arising from the drain?
Ready at last to face the world of men and sunshine once again.
Know now that hanging from a bridge surely will take away our pain
And if the nooses slip we'll all be declared in Seine!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! Part 25
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 09:25 AM

Sorry, forgot to mention, the tune "Do you hear the people sing?" (Les Mis)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge! Part 25
From: Genie
Date: 21 Jan 14 - 08:50 PM

I'd have gotten that from the lyrics, Nigel, but thanks. (Good challenge! entry!)